Tales of Rock – The 7 Most Gruesome Rock ‘N’ Roll Legends (And Whether They’re True)

If the legends are to be believed, a rock star’s day is two hours of playing music and 22 hours of sex, drugs and worshiping Satan. Are the legends true, though? We assembled the most unsettling myths and, wearing elbow-length rubber gloves, took a closer look.

Stevie Nicks Rides the White Horse

The legend: Stevie Nicks, easily the most bangable member of Fleetwood Mac, was at one time so tolerant to the effects of cocaine use that in order to achieve a healthy, atomic-grade high she had to have it blown up her rectum.

Why it grosses us out: Because people who snort cocaine nasally spend approximately 90 percent of their time wiping their constantly running noses. If the legend is true, things don’t look good for that awesome dragon chair she’s sitting on.

Why we still hope it’s true: Aside from giving us reason to discuss Stevie Nicks’ ass in social situations, it would be the most hardcore thing anyone’s done with their body since that dude at Lollapalooza hung a bowling ball off his dong.

Shoving cocaine up your ass is extra-strength crazy, unless of course it’s your source of livelihood (apologies to any drug mules who may have been offended). As an added bonus, it could be considered an anthropological throwback to the Mayans, who used to imbibe alcohol through their rectal lining via beer douches. Tastes great and less filling! Not that you’ll notice.

Yeah, but is it: Nicks most certainly blew the blow, and it is biologically feasible that one could get high by reverse-farting cocaine, but we still find the claim pretty dubious. She has publicly denied it, which could be taken as proof either way. If someone at work started spreading a rumor that at last year’ Christmas party, you snorted cocaine through your sphincter, would you dignify it with an on-the-record denial?

As far as the official record is concerned, the field remains wide open for a phicklephilly reader brave enough to claim the title “first person to take cocaine anally.” Get to it!

KISS’ Comic Book Petri Dish

The legend: KISS, in one of the more ridiculous marketing gimmicks of the last 50 years, mixed vials of their own blood into the red ink used to color the blood for the first issue of Marvel’s KISS comic series.

Why it grosses us out: KISS isn’t exactly the model of sexual restraint. Their blood would probably be more valuable at a clinic documenting the evolution of various strands of STDs since the ’70s, and less valuable staining our finger tips. We’ll stick with our Whitesnake coloring book, thank you very much.

Why we still hope it’s true: No one does zany, goofy, ultimately innocuous horror like KISS, and what better manifestation of that than mixing their blood with comic book ink? Yes, they’re bleeding, but at some point that blood is going to be mixed with the palm-sweat of a thousand chubby sixteen-year-olds as they read about Ace and Gene battling space-pirates with their righteous riffs.

Really, the only way this can be considered hardcore is if you assume-as we do-that the blood was not extracted by a needle, but rather sopped up from the floor after the guys rolled in bacon fat and waded through a trough of alligators.

Yeah, but is it: Absolutely. KISS flew to Marvel’s inking facility in between tour stops and dumped vials of blood into the red-ink vat. Not only is there a picture of it happening, but it was witnessed by a notary public and subject to a signed contract. Comic fans are apparently very particular about the validity of their blood-infused inks. You can now rest assured that if you see someone licking a KISS comic, they are either a vampire or a huge freak.

Mick Jagger’s Goes to Mars

The legend: Mick “the rooster” Jagger was caught during a drug bust eating a Mars Bar from between the legs of Marianne Faithfull, as well as nude in bed with effeminate rocker David Bowie. And, he was caught by Bowie’s wife, no less.

Why we still hope it’s true: We like our rockers like we like our parents: androgynous and sex-crazed. Jagger eating a candy bar out of someone’s cooch is alright, but ultimately just another entry in the pantheon of “rockers have so much sex they get bored with it and do crazy shit” stories. Add in some Bowie-humping, though, and you’ve got rock-legend magic.

The only thing that could make it better would be if Prince had filmed the whole thing and the tape leaked to the Internet, revealing Bowie in full makeup and demanding to be called “Major Tom.” We can dream, can’t we?

Yeah, but is it: In a happy twist of fate for lovers of bizarre celebrity behavior, the Mars Bar bit is a definite no, but the Bowie-banging may actually have some truth to it. Police did bust in on Jagger and Faithfull looking for drugs, but reported no sexual activity other than the fact that Faithfull was naked except for a large blanket. By rock standards, she might as well have been in a burka.

As for the latter incident, Bowie’s wife detailed it on an episode of Joan Rivers’ radio show, but later claimed that the men weren’t having sex, just nude in bed, which, you know, is totally normal.

Frank Zappa Eats Poo

The legend: Misanthropic hermit and erstwhile experimental rocker/composer Frank Zappa got in an onstage gross-out contest with friend Captain Beefheart, in which Beefheart took a dump onstage. Zappa then promptly won the contest–and put Ozzy Osborne’ bat stunt to shame– by scooping up a handful of poop and popping it in his mouth.

Why it grosses us out: Because it’ the most disgusting thing you could possibly do, other than eating two pieces of shit.

Why we still hope it’ true: OK, we kind of don’t, since we like Frank Zappa and it would force us to lose a healthy amount of respect for the guy. But, his notoriously bizarre musical style, and the fact that he named his kids Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen, doesn’t help his case much.

Put that guy in front of a crowd, goaded on by a competition and under pressure to perform, and who knows what he’s capable of? As anyone who’s watched Fear Factor knows, people will eat a lot of crazy shit for very little compensation. Of course, this would be the first time the phrase “eating crazy shit” was used so literally.

Yeah, but is it: Despite strident and persistent claims from fans who “totally saw it happen,” it almost certainly didn’t. Zappa was actually boringly conservative for a rambling guitar rocker and was one of the most vocal anti-drug performers of his time. When asked directly about the incident, Zappa said, “I never took a shit on stage, and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, N.C.”

Marilyn Manson Gets Flexible

The legend: Marilyn Manson, who decided getting breast implants and being an ordained priest in the Church of Satan didn’t make him creepy enough, had his lowest set of ribs removed so he could perform autofellatio (That’ where you blow yourself. Read a book, dammit.).

Why it grosses us out: There’ basically nothing Marilyn Manson can do that wouldn’t make us uncomfortable. Also, this myth requires that you acknowledge the existence of Marilyn Manson’ penis, which we’re assuming bares its fangs and writhes around like a snake when exposed to daylight.

Why we still hope it’ true: We, uh … have this friend that’ worried he’ going to break his neck, and we think it would just make things easier on “¦ our friend if this “¦ Oh hell, it does not make you gay if you try it to yourself. Ok?

Yeah, but is it: A thorough investigation into the matter, conducted only for the purposes of this article, proved that there is no evidence of a successful rib-removal surgery in all of the Western world. Of course, that doesn’t take into account the Eastern world, as well as any surgery attempts that aren’t on record. Also, medical research conducted for this article, and only for this article, reveal that it would actually be more helpful to remove a vertebrate.

Rod Stewart Gets Pumped

The legend: Rod Stewart passed out at an after party and had to get his stomach pumped after ingesting a gallon of semen.

Why it grosses us out: A gallon of semen? We can’t even get through a gallon of milk without throwing up.

Why we still hope it’ true: The Rod Stewart-semen-stomach-pump story blazed a path for the same rumor to be applied to countless modern pop stars. There was Jon Bon Jovi, various members of New Kids on the Block and, more recently, Justin Timberlake.

So, either blowing thousands of dudes is a proud tradition passed down from one pop star generation to the next, or there is an intergenerational tendency among American men to imagine popular male musicians with dicks in their mouths. We’ll take the option where Jon Bon Jovi’ the creep and we’re just doing our jobs reporting the gruesome facts.

Yeah, but is it: It’ almost definitely false, though Rod isn’t helping his case with his denials. In a Rolling Stone interview Stewart commented, “It was so laughable, it never really hurt me. What could it have been? A fleet of fucking sailors? Or, footballers?” They cut the quote off there, but we’re assuming Stewart continued naming the professions of all of the different people he didn’t blow to get that much semen in his stomach.

Led Zeppelin’s Mud Shark

The legend: While staying at the Edgewater Hotel in 1969-a hotel that allows guests to fish from their room balconies-Led Zeppelin caught a mud shark and then proceeded to use it sexually on a bound groupie. Exactly how is a matter for grim speculation only.

Why it grosses us out: Because it sounds like an even more disturbing version of the most disturbing scene in A Clockwork Orange. It also, for whatever reason, makes us acknowledge the existence of Marilyn Manson’ dick again.

Why we still hope it’ true: The way we heard it, the chick was totally into it, which helps undercut the “Oh, my God, that’s horrific” factor. Still, a shark? And, you thought that little pussy-riding prop you brought home to spice things up was “edgy.” Try introducing Jaws to your significant other’s privates and see if one or both of you doesn’t end up taking a trip to the emergency room.

This legend is also appealing because it takes some of the sting out of realizing your favorite rock band is singing primarily about Lord of the Rings characters. Zep aren’t nerds, man! Zep boned a chick with a fucking shark!

Yeah, but is it: Sort of, but in a stripped-down, pathetic kind of way. The widely accepted “true version” of the legend is that the band’s road manager Richard Cole caught a red snapper, and, as the groupie in question was a natural red-head, made the inevitable lame joke and applied the fish to her crimson honeypot. Legend also has it that John Bonham was present, but otherwise engaged in a rousing game of Dungeons and Dragons.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly   twitter: @phicklephilly

Celebrity Sightings: Vanessa Hudgens – Part 6

I absolutely adore Vanessa Hudgens. She is a great actress who has stupendous legs.

 

Filmography

Film

Year Title Role Notes
2003 Thirteen Noel
2004 Thunderbirds Tin-Tin Kyrano
2008 High School Musical 3: Senior Year Gabriella Montez
2009 Bandslam Sa5m
2009 The Ultimate Idol[135] Herself Documentary
2011 Beastly Lindy Taylor
2011 Sucker Punch Blondie
2012 Journey 2: The Mysterious Island Kailani Laguatan
2012 Spring Breakers Candy
2013 Choose You[136] Ex-girlfriend Short film
2013 The Frozen Ground Cindy Paulson
2013 Machete Kills Cereza Desdemona
2013 Gimme Shelter Agnes “Apple” Bailey
2015 Freaks of Nature Lorelei
2018 Dog Days Tara
2018 The Princess Switch Margaret Delacourt, Duchess of Montenaro
Stacy De Novo
2018 Second Act Zoe
2019 Polar Camille In production

Television

Year Title Role Notes
2002 Still Standing Tiffany Episode: “Still Rocking”
2002 Robbery Homicide Division Nicole Episode: “Had”
2003 The Brothers García Lindsay Episode: “New Tunes”
2005 Quintuplets Carmen Episode: “The Coconut Kapow”
2006 Drake & Josh Rebecca Episode: “Little Sibling”
2006 High School Musical Gabriella Montez Television film
2006 The Suite Life of Zack & Cody Corrie 4 episodes (season 2)
2007 High School Musical 2 Gabriella Montez Television film
2009 Robot Chicken Lara Lor-Van / Butterbear /
Erin Esurance (voice)
Episode: “Especially the Animal Keith Crofford”
2012 Punk’d Herself Episode: “Lucy Hale”
2013 Inner Circle Herself Documentary
2016 High School Musical: 10th Anniversary Herself Special
2016 Grease: Live Betty Rizzo Special
2017 Powerless Emily Locke Lead role
2017 Running Wild with Bear Grylls Herself Episode: “Vanessa Hudgens”
2017 Drop the Mic Herself Episode: “Vanessa Hudgens vs. Michael Bennett”
2017–present So You Think You Can Dance Judge Since season 14
2018 Drunk History Joan of Arc Episode: “The Middle Ages”
2019 Rent: Live Maureen Johnson Special

Producer

Year Title Notes
2015 #15SecondScare[137] Executive producer; Web-series

Stage

Year Title Role Venue(s)
1998 Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas! The Musical Cindy-Lou Who Various locations[138][139][140][141]
1998 The King and I Unknown
1999 Damn Yankees
1999 The Wizard of Oz Dorothy Gale
2000 Cinderella Cinderella
2000 The Little Mermaid Ariel
2001 Charlotte’s Web Fern Arable
2001 The Hunchback of Notre Dame Unknown
2002 A Christmas Carol
2002 Carousel
2003 Evita
2003 The Music Man
2010 Rent Mimi Marquez Hollywood Bowl[142]
2012 The 24 Hour Plays Vanessa Broadway[143]
2015 Gigi Gigi Kennedy Center / Broadway
2018 In the Heights Vanessa Kennedy Center[144]

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly                  Instagram@phicklephilly

Celebrity Sightings: Vanessa Hudgens – Part 3

I absolutely adore Vanessa Hudgens. She is a great actress who has stupendous legs.

 

2009–2015: Focus on acting

Hudgens at the MyHabit launch at Skylight West Studios in May 2011

Following the completion of the High School Musical series, Hudgens confirmed that she was taking a break from her music career to focus more on acting.[38] She played a supporting role in a musical comedy Bandslam, which was released theatrically on August 14, 2009.[39][40] Hudgens plays “Sa5m”, a 15-year-old awkward freshman with untapped talents.[41] Although Bandslam was commercially unsuccessful, Hudgens’ performance received praise from critics.[42] David Waddington of the North Wales Pioneernoted that Hudgens “outshines the rest of the cast, failing to fit in with the outcast narrative and making the inevitable climactic ending all the more expected”,[43] and Philip French of The Guardian compared her acting to Thandie Newton and Dorothy Parker.[44] Hudgens made a return to theater productions and starred in the musical Rent as Mimi. The stage production ran from August 6–8, 2010 at the Hollywood Bowl.[45] Her involvement in the production drew negative comments, but director Neil Patrick Harris defended his decision with casting Hudgens by saying, “Vanessa [Hudgens] is awesome. She’s a friend. I asked her to come in and sing to make sure she had the chops for it. And she was very committed and seemed great.”[46]

Hudgens’ involvement in Beastly, a film based on Alex Flinn‘s novel of the same name, was announced in early 2009.[47] She played one of the main characters in the film, Linda Taylor. Hudgens described her as, “…the “beauty” of the story but not the stereotypical beauty everyone thinks of.”[48] Along with Beastly co-star, Alex Pettyfer, Hudgens was recognized as ShoWest stars of Tomorrow.[49] Beastly, which also starred Mary-Kate Olsen, was released on March 4, 2011. Beastly received mostly negative reviews, earning a 20% approval rating from Rotten Tomatoes from 89 reviews, with an average rating of 3.7/10. It was ranked No. 45 in The Times predicted “50 Biggest Movies of 2010”.[50] The film was screened at ShoWest and it drew enthusiastic reactions from the luncheon crowd of exhibition officials.[51][52] The film went on to make $28 million worldwide as of 2012. Hudgens was also cast as one of the five female leads in the action film Sucker Punch, directed by Zack Snyder.[53] She played Blondie, an institutionalized girl in an asylum. The film was released in March 2011,[54] and grossed $19 million in its first weekend at the North American box office, opening at number two.[55] By the end of its run, Sucker Punch totaled $89 million worldwide.[56] Though the film’s content was derided, it received some recognition for the visual effects of the fantasy sequences. Sucker Punchreceived a nomination at the 2011 Scream Awards for Best F/X, and its stunt work was nominated for a Taurus Award.[57]

Hudgens at the 2012 People’s Choice Awards

In October 2010, Hudgens joined the cast of Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (2012), the sequel to the 2008 film Journey to the Center of the Earth, alongside Dwayne Johnsonand Josh Hutcherson, playing Hutcherson’s love interest.[58] The film earned $325 million worldwide during its theatrical run,[59] which outperformed its predecessor.[60][61] It received generally mixed to negative reviews from critics.[62][63] The consensus from Rotten Tomatoes is: “Aggressively unambitious, Journey 2 might thrill teen viewers, but most others will find it too intense for young audiences and too cartoonishly dull for adults”.[62]

In November 2011, Hudgens announced on her official website that she would be starring with Selena Gomez and James Franco in Spring Breakers.[64] The film followed four college-aged girls who decide to rob a fast food restaurant in order to pay for their spring break.[65] It was released theatrically in March 2013,[66] receiving generally positive reviews.[67][68] The film featured mature themes such as drug use, sexual escapades, and violence.[69][70][71] To coincide with the film, Hudgens later released the dubstep-influenced song “$$$ex”,[72] with a music video featuring clips from the film.[73] The song features guest vocals from YLA, and was produced by Rock Mafia.[74] Vanessa later expressed her discomfort with a sex scene in a interview with Glow Magazine stating: “It was very nerve-racking for me. I told my agent that I never want to do it ever again.”[75][76]

In April 2011, it was reported that she would star in Gimme Shelter with Brendan Fraser, a film written and directed by Ron Krauss.[77][78] Hudgens also plays Cindy Paulson in The Frozen Ground (2013), a film based on the Robert Hansen case wherein she plays as his only victim who escaped. She co-stars with John Cusack and Nicolas Cage.[79] In 2015, Hudgens took on the title role in the new production of Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Loewe‘s Gigi, which opened at the Kennedy Center from January 16 to February 12,[80] before transferring to Broadway on April 8.[81] The production closed on June 21.[82]

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly                  Instagram@phicklephilly

 

Tales of Rock – Prince Assaults Sinead O’Connor

In the early 90s, Sinead O’Connor scored a massive hit with her cover of the Prince-penned “Nothing Compares To You.” Sorry, that should probably read “Nothing Compares 2 U.” We are talking about Prince after all. At any rate, according to O’Connor, His Purpleness was less than thrilled with her decision to cover the song since he was already planning to give it to a female protege of his, perhaps in exchange for a series of unthinkable sex acts.

When he met with Sinead to discuss the situation, things got a bit out of hand. And by “out of hand” we mean “they got in a goddamned fistfight.”

It started with Prince berating the shorn-locked singer for, of all things, cursing in interviews. She replied with a diplomatic and sympathetic “go fuck yourself.” At that point, O’Connor claims Prince became physically threatening, or at least to the extent Prince can physically threaten anyone.

At that point the two went at it, in what was probably the most effeminate fistfight of all time. Prince used his fists, O’Connor used loogies. “All I could do was spit. I spat on him quite a bit,” she said. Classy! Not that beating women is any classier, but seriously, how would you feel if you were robbed of the chance to pass one of your most enduring tunes onto one of your talented proteges? Imagine the possibilities!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                                 Facebook: phicklephilly

Tales of Rock – Why Fred Durst Has Been Banned From Ukraine

Limp Bizkit’s window of popularity shut in the early 2000s, leaving them and the nu-metal genre they championed a relic of a cheesy bygone era of rock ‘n’ roll, like dozens of hair metal bands before them. In the years after the band’s fame faded, lead singer Fred Durst directed a couple of small not-terrible movies that didn’t do much to jumpstart his filmmaking career. So he’s been trying to be a director in Russia.

Durst loves Russia, and Russia loves him back. In 2015, he and Limp Bizkit toured throughout the country, hitting every city they could. Soon after Russia forcefully snatched Crimea from Ukraine, Crimea’s leader put out an open letter declaring his vision to turn Crimea into “the new Beverly Hills” and his hope that Western celebrities would make the land their new home. Durst sent a letter back saying he wanted to be a part of that vision, offering to produce movies and TV shows for the up-and-coming hostilely-taken-over chunk of land to help create a “great future of Crimea and Russia.” Russia is super proud that they’ve been able to snatch Durst from American hands, like they couldn’t just do it by promising him a six-pack of Coors and a lifetime supply of Dickies.

Sure sounds like Fred Durst has become a Russian propagandist, and not just to my ears: Ukraine, still reeling from having a chunk of itself stolen by Russia, caught wind of all this Fred Durst nonsense, so they banned him for five years “in the interests of guaranteeing the security” of the country.

For years we’ve all known Fred Durst is a threat to our security, but Ukraine is the only country with the balls to make it official.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly

Celebrity Sightings: Joséphine Jobert on What it’s like Filming Death in Paradise

Apparently my global audience is as much in love with Josephine as I am. So I’ll keep posting during my free time.

And on Saturday nights… I like to publish whatever I want!

 

https://www.radiotimes.com/travel/2018-01-18/josephine-jobert-on-what-its-like-filming-death-in-paradise/

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly         Facebook: phicklephilly