Use These 12 Habits for Texting in the Early Stages of Dating

Texting in the early stages of dating isn’t easy, especially when you don’t want to screw anything up. Here are 12 texting habits you should have.

Are you caught up in the early romance of dating? It can feel uncertain, wondering if they really like you or not. Luckily, you have all the information you need to help you develop healthy habits for texting in the early stages of dating.

The early stage is pretty sensitive because you aren’t a couple yet. Naturally, I know you want this person to like you back and want to be with you, so there are a couple of things you should do to make sure you play it cool and have them come to you.

It’s easy to get caught up in feelings and excitement. Follow these tips, and you’ll be able to text the person you’re dating with ease. [Read: How to start a conversation over text and get them texting back]

Texting in the early stages of dating: 12 texting habits to have

When I was growing up, texting wasn’t even a thing. In fact, you had to pay per text message! I remember texting for my first time, and thinking, “this is never going to become a thing.” I was so wrong. Within a year or two, I found myself texting like crazy and driving my dad’s phone bill through the roof.

It wasn’t until much later I was texting with guys I liked. And let me tell you, there wasn’t any rule book to teach you how to text someone you liked. I would write essay-length messages, ask question after question. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. I was so annoying. But that’s not the point!

Who said texting someone you like was easy?

#1 Take a deep breath. Yes, you like this person, and you’re all excited, but chill. Take a couple of deep breaths, and take it easy. If you work yourself up, it’ll get you overthinking everything you say. The person you’re dating should never be up on a pedestal. They’re human, and if they don’t like you, that’s okay. There’s someone out there who will.

#2 Don’t text obsessively. I know talking to them all day long is fun and exciting, but you also have a life outside of your phone, right? Being overly available isn’t a good look. Why? Because it’s waving the “I’m codependent” flag. Do you have anything else going on besides texting them all day long? I know you do, and they need to see that.

#3 Texting shouldn’t replace face-to-face contact. You’re in the early stages of dating; this is the time where you should spend more time with them in person than over text. You need to see the person they really are, not the one they’re showing via text or social media.

Texting can be used to talk about everyday things, but it should mainly be used to arrange in-person dates.

#4 Don’t question your messages. When we like someone, we want them to think we’re funny, smart, and all the other good qualities people have. And when you’re texting someone, you want them to see these qualities.

But that doesn’t mean you should be second-guessing every message you’re sending them, making sure it doesn’t offend them, or turns them off. Don’t question what you write, just make sure it’s honest.

#5 You both need to initiate conversation. If you’re the only one who’s doing all the texting, that’s not a great sign. I think we’re all guilty of being that person, and that never ends up well. In a healthy texting relationship, you’re both comfortable enough to initiate and carry on a conversation. If you see you’re the one putting in all the effort, stop.

#6 Reply when you have time. That’s right. You don’t need to stay glued to your phone. If you’re at work or at school, keep those activities a priority. When you have time, text the person you’re dating. You don’t need to play games, but you shouldn’t jeopardize yourself to send them a text message.

#7 Use actual grammar. I know this sounds lame, but you need to use proper grammar and spelling. A typo here and there isn’t a big deal, but people like to read sentences they don’t need to decode. You probably didn’t know this, but people are turned off by poor grammar and spelling. So, shape up.

#8 Know when to end the conversation. You don’t need to text all day and night to show the person you’re interested in them. Know when it’s okay to end the conversation. If you feel it’s dying, then end the conversation early. You can start a new conversation in a couple of hours, that’s fine. But don’t try to keep a conversation alive when it doesn’t have to be.

#9 Be mindful of your tone. If you’re someone who has a dry or sarcastic humor, it may not always come across right on text. But that doesn’t mean you can’t show off your personality. Use a couple of emojis here and there to get the point across clearly, and read your message to yourself to make sure what you want to say is actually getting across.

#10 Save the important conversations for in person. You don’t need to have a deep conversation about your childhood over a text message. There are some conversations that are better left for in-person dates.

People have a lot of time to think about what they want to say, and that’s not always a good thing. Sometimes you need to see a person’s facial expressions and their reactions for specific conversations.

#11 Move past the text message. Texting, in the beginning, is fine and dandy, but eventually, you should talk on the phone. I know! Gasp! No one talks on the phone now, but hearing someone’s voice is much different than texting each other. Plus, it shows both of you a level of comfort in the relationship.

#12 Don’t ever just text ‘hi.’ What are we, ten? Come on! If this is someone you like, you can do a little bit better than ‘hi.’ Seriously. Never send a message with ‘hi.’ Instead, add a question to the end of it. It’s too generic and lazy; it gives off the impression that they’re not good enough for anything more.

Texting in the early stages of dating isn’t easy at all! You’re nervous and want to impress your date. But don’t worry, if you follow these habits, you’ll be on the right path.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Love Notes

My band was playing a gig at a local bar in Santa Monica. When you do some regular shows at a place you get to know the staff. This one waitress, I don’t know how old she was but she didn’t even look 18. She would always come and chat with me between sets. I think her name was Faye.

This went on whenever we got to play there. It went on for a few months. But one night she hands me a note after her shift and tells me not to read it until she was gone.

Well, I thought a note was a bit weird since that was grade school stuff but whatever. I open the note and it says things like:

“I love you. I want to be with you. You’re beautiful. We need to have children together even though I’m only 16, and it just prattled on and on. An overly attached girlfriend has nothing on this chick.

I used to get lots of phone numbers scrawled on napkins, notes and letters occasionally, but it was nothing like this. The next night, she asks sheepishly if I’ve read her note and I said yes but I wasn’t really looking for a relationship at the time. Her face lost all expression for a second and then she smiled and said something to the effect of ‘No worries, I thought I’d try’ and we continued playing there without incident.

That night, when I left the venue there were about 10 notes taped to my VW mini bus. Long notes too! I have no clue how she wrote this much in a day. The notes said things like ‘I hate you, you’re a fucking asshole, I hope you die’ and other notes said things like ‘I’m sorry for writing that note that called you an asshole. I really like you and want to be with you ❤ ❤ <3’

She would then try luring me with innuendos. When she was on her break she would do things like bring these long cucumbers out from the kitchen, come up and say things like ‘Do you think this pickle is for lunch or personal pleasure?’

She would also still put notes all over my van.

Eventually, after a few months she completely lost interest in me and started chasing a guitarist in another band that would play there on occasion.

Oh, my broken heart!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Sun Stories: Eileen – Chapter 2 – Getting to Know You

I feel like when I was doing all of those things I was a ghost in my own life.

Eileen started tonight. She’s 18 and beautiful. You’ve been reading phicklephilly, I have to get to that.

She arrives and is wearing a grey shirt and tights. All of the girls wear that now. I have no idea why. It’s too revealing of their curves.

Imagination is the king of fantasy.

I have three sisters and a daughter that lives with me. Our salon is built on respect to women and that’s maybe one of the reasons they choose us. We’re all about respect. (Well that, and the best pricing and the best equipment in the city!)

It’s Thursday. I miss Amelia who is awesome. I love having her here to help me navigate the nights here at the salon. But tonight I get to meet my hire.

Eileen arrives. She is wearing a grey shirt and black tights. She looks fine to work here. It’s sporty and conservative. She’s fine.

When it’s super busy in here she’ll probably go with a tank top and shorts but I digress. (Kidding!)

Eileen is my hire. I chose her. I knew she was amazing from the start.

Eileen is beautiful. She’s studying criminal law at Drexel and is a freshman.

No worries. I’m training her and she’s following me around like a pup and cleaning beds.

Just so you all know. I’ve had many opportunities to exploit my underlings but I never did that. I learned that from my father, Because he ALWAYS did that. And my daughter Lorelei and I are too BARR, (My mother’s side of the family) to pull that shit)

Eileen is doing a great job. I adore her.

I’ve killed myself for so long over so many shifts. I’m just happy to have the help. I have Cherie. I’m not going to try to tap Eileen. She’s like a daughter or a niece for god’s sakes.

“My patents split up when I was 3.”

“Me too. Lorelei was three and a half.”

“I have a half-brother. He’s nine and looks just like me.”

Shows me pics and that kid looks a lot like her.

Cute kid.

I show her pics of my daughter.

I love being around lovely Eileen.

New people intrigue me and we need help. She’s so pretty. I love that I always liked that. I love the sound of her voice. So sweet and like a song. I’m happy she made the call to join our team.

Last year it was Summer and me. I love Summer. So efficient and cunning. I love her as friend and a co-worker. I miss her so much. (See: Sun Stories: Summer – Night Shift Girl)

“I had a sister who died when I was 9.”

“Oh my god. What happened?”

“She was born with a heart murmur. She had so many operations. It was so sad. She died after five weeks.”

“I’m so sorry. What a horrible way to come into the world if even for a brief time.”

“Yea. It was really sad. My mom still wears a little pendant with her name on it.”

We turn the conversation to happier thoughts.

The night passes and I’m training her on cleaning the beds, when and how to do the laundry, vacuuming the salon and folding the towels.

Eileen is a quick learn. I even notice she’s watching the computer screen intently while waiting to go clean the beds. That’s what we hired these girls for. Clean beds while I manage the salon, sales and the clients.

But while Eileen is standing there with her spray gun and towels, I notice her eyes are on every transaction I’m doing. She’s very visual and smart. She’s learning the system even on her first night wiping down beds.

She’s my hire. I chose her the minute I met her. She’s extraordinary. I can see she’s working out. An 18 year old teenager raised in the digital age. Her brain is wired to learn looking at a computer screen.

Me, the old horse, grew up in an age when there were no computers. Only books. I learn slowly. These kids today are like lightning. Say what you want about millenials. You just don’t understand them. You brought them into this world, but their learning abilities are beyond anything you know.

Sure they have no game, and no sense of direction, or spacial awareness. They are slaves to their phones, but they learn the software of anything faster than any of us born even 30 years ago because of technology.

Achilles always complained about his staff. They were a bunch of young girls he was paying $9 an hour. Of course she has the flu the day after St Patrick’s Day. They all would call out sick and were never reliable.

This crap went on for 10 years! He had three salons and he closed two of them because it was, “same headache, times 3” he said.

I get it. It’s hard to find good staff in the retail and hospitality industry industry. I never knew this because I worked in corporate america in banking and advertising my whole life. But for $9 an hour you’re going to get a lot of bubble head kids. It’s just the nature of the business.

But then he got me.

Everything changed.

He finally had an anchor. An older mature man that would give you the $80K employee experience for coolie wages. (As my mother would say)

I know he appreciated it and couldn’t believe his good fortune, but always treated me like any other employee. I get that. That’s all I wanted. I wanted to work. I realized after being in the rat race for my whole life that it was all folly.

The suit and ties. The houses, the cars, the marriage, the children, the stuff.

So much stuff.

I was living the life I thought I should be living to fit into some American dream.

It’s all bullshit.

All of it.

Lies.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s good to work hard and make money and move up and build a life for yourself.

You make more money, and become an executive and get a good pretty wife and a house and a mortgage, but is that what you really want?

We all follow the same path our parents did. Just that. But does it work for all of us?

Not so much. But we get caught up in it because that’s what we’re taught. We’re children and we are told by our elders that it’s the key to a happy and secure life.

Bullshit.

Work hard. Eat shit sandwiches in a job you hate, sacrifice your happiness, and make a bunch of money and secure a bunch of STUFF.

Stuff and possessions is you filling your empty heart with a temporary hamburger.

You’re full for three hours and then you are you again.

I never want to go back to that. I’ve had all of that and none of it means anything.

I hated all of it. I now want for nothing.

I feel like when I was doing all of those things I was a ghost in my own life.

I live a simple life now and my daughter Lorelei lives with me since she was 18 years old.

The universe has somehow righted itself.

I’ve worked at this salon for 2 years and now we have this fitness center and it’s starting to take off. But I’m no longer harnessed to the bridle of corporate america. My best friend of 20 years is owned by Wells Fargo and he’s rich, but his life sucks royal Canadian moose cock everyday. I love him, but his wife is gone. He has no kids, and he’s left in a pool of mediocrity with his fifty something Asian girlfriend. He’ll never marry again because he feels like a failure and it’ll just be him at the end of the day with a pile of money and his rhumetoid arthritis.

I smoke and drink and work all of the time. I love my life. Everyday I’m looking forward to doing something and seeing a friend or lover.

I can’t believe my good fortune.

But then I pause and think, I built that.

We can look back on our lives and see it as a bunch of crazy events and stories, but if you really look at it, it’s a lovely novel woven by you.

 

Eileen finishes vacuuming and folding towels.

She’s had a great first day and I’m proud of her. I knew she’d be wonderful.

I’m on my feet everyday and active. I’m interacting with our clients and selling my ass off. I’m training this lovely girl, and she is laughing at my jokes.

How bad is my life?

We lock up and I show this raven haired beauty how sometimes the lock box can be a bit temperamental.

The lights are out so I use my flashlight app to guide her downstairs.

We say goodbye. I tell her that she’s done a good job on her first day.

She gives me that firm handshake that I loved upon our first meeting.

Off she goes.

“See tomorrow, Charles!”

 

I finally hired a winner.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Sun Stories: Amelia – Chapter 2 – Finally

So I wasn’t sure about Amelia at first. She came through one of the trainers at our gym and was an Achilles hire the morning before I got Eileen. So I had some concerns.

Amelia came in and we made our acquaintance.

She’s 24, new to Philly. I thought she was gay. Works at a gym in Midtown. She’s about to be certified as a personal trainer. Which is awesome because she could bring her clients to our gym and train people and pay us.

She’s blonde and cute. Irish Catholic and from a family of 10. She’s number 8. Wow. What the fuck is that college bill like? I told Achilles and he was like, “That many fuckin’ kids and you can never get divorced.” (He is absolutely correct in his answer)

I don’t know anything about Amelia, but once I met her I liked her.

Solid citizen. Air Force Reserve, and fit. Seems nice and personable. I like the military aspect. Maybe she’ll actually be on point unlike all of the other knuckleheads that have worked here.

First night is always the same. Here’s where to hang your coat. Here’s the bathroom. Just clean the beds when they get dirty.

I’ve got her Monday through Wednesday. The days are busy. I give her the skinny on all of the characters. We build report. I love getting in the heads of everyone I know. Young people are easy. I need to get to know her.

I show Amelia what to do with the basic functions of the salon and she immediately adapts like a good soldier.

I’m happy at my good fortune. Initially I was cross at Achilles for hiring someone I didn’t know. He told me to hire who I wanted. I really wanted Eileen. I wanted her to have all of the shifts. I couldn’t believe my good fortune. But now I have the Achilles hire I have to deal with.

But Amelia is so good on night one I start to question my own choices.

In the three days she’s here, Amelia is really on top of the cleaning and the laundry. I notice at 24 she’s taking the initiative with everything.

Her military training has taught her to think ahead and be preemptive. I love that.

My buddy Church stops in and we’re going to grab dinner after work, and I introduce them. They hit it off because he’s Navy and she’s Air Force. That’s a good connection and he needs practice talking to women in general. Amelia’s a lovely girl.

She’s a natural beauty new to Philly, that lives on her own with a cat which in everybody’s opinion isn’t good. (But she’s young and stop it you y’all.) Amelia’s great and does a great job cleaning.

It’s early in the training and she really takes to the vacuum. I like that. We’re all about the cleaning at our salon. She loves our new cordless vac so much she says she wants to get one for her own apartment.

I really like Amelia.

She’s so good I start to question the Eileen decision.

Could we have finally found not one but two girls that are absolutely amazing for our salon?

We have as a team waded through oceans of shit for so long, could we have finally found a couple of seasonal girls that will actually be good?

I loved Summer, and Haley, but could we have actually found good people that would stick around and work hard for us?

Amelia has a solid week and actually stays ahead of the laundry. The towels can make or break your night. It’s all about service and timing.

But I ask Amelia about it and she tells be they’re in the dryer or coming out in 20 minutes.

I like her!

I’ve been dreaming of good staff for our salon.

I think we’ve finally hit it.

Achilles is oblivious because he’s so wrapped up in the daily grind and the gym now, but I see it.

I’ll train these girls. Not just to clean beds, but to perform every aspect of this business to make them more valuable to us and themselves.

Eileen is Criminal Justice at Drexel. Her dad is a professor, so education is free, but she’ll have to deal with law school later.

These are great girls we have wiping down our beds at the salon this season.

I love them both. I’m happy we finally found good staff!

 

Oh, one side note: I had to tell Amelia about Eileen. I didn’t want to and I wanted to keep them separate, but since Amelia works here she gets free tanning. She said she was going to come in on Thursday and I knew Eileen was working so I told her about how Achilles hired her in the morning and I hired Eileen that night. She was cool with it, but when she came in it was a moment.

“Hey, Amelia.”

“Hey Charles. I’m ready to tan.”

“Yea. It’s been two months, I need to do that too so I can look like I work here.”

“Oh yea…Totally.”

“This is Eileen. Achilles hired you the same day I hired her.”

(Eileen, beautiful with a firm handshake) “Nice to meet you!”

So, worlds collide but my girls have to eat it.

They do and are fine because women are awesome.

“I like your make up it looks awesome.” (Amelia to Eileen)

“Thank you.”

“Maybe I should do more.”

(Me being the dick I always am) “Yea maybe you should. I point to Eileen) “My hire.”

I know I’ve made a joke here. They both like and respect me. But I’ve divided them and I like it.

Amelia’s great, but she has to stop biting her nails. (I’ll help her) I want to.

We all chat and I find out that Eileen likes to drink. She’s not any good at it but I like that she likes to drink.

I thought Amelia was the bad one but I love that Eileen likes to party.

All I think of is how I can take these girls for free drinks at all of my hookups around town.

Not to bed them of course, but I know these girls are my saving grace. It’s so busy at the salon. I’m so happy that I’ve met these women. They can’t even fathom how valuable they are to us right now.

Entering our most busy season. We can’t live with out them.

I’m just happy I’ve had the great fortune to meet two girls who are absolutely amazing. Normally, we get the crazies at $9 an hour under the table. But for some reason I’ve met two girls who are amazing and really work hard and get the system.

I just need to train them right so they don’t lose their shit on a Saturday.

I think we finally have a couple of winners and I’m betting on both of them!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Alicia – Chapter 2 – I’m Determined

I go into the credit union today and my love is there. Alicia is at her post and not doing anything. This is nuts. It’s almost like I’m creating scenarios for the blog.

But I feel like after three years there is a comfort in my literary work and how I much I enjoy creating new stories. I love to work and be busy, but there’s always something wonderful that snakes its way into my life to drive me forward to write new material.

There are so many old stories and a rich catalog of history that I’m very busy telling those tales. But I love that there’s always a new kink in the armor to get me going again with fresh material.

I’ve written about quiet Alicia and the mystery of my favorite teller but I’m going to press forward with her to see if I can get a story from her.

It really comes down to she always seems to do my deposits and those fuzzy forearms that are some sort of sexual trigger for me. It’s nuts, but she’s just another fascinating character in the phicklephilly universe.

Normally the world would be grossed out by her hair. I love her arms and love that she bares them all of the time. In a world of a bunch of insecure guys that have only learned about women through pornography where every thing is shaved to be technically ready for porn cameras for more detail, it has changed the culture.

I hate that.

It’s foolish. Let women rule their own bodies.

I can’t believe I’m talking about body hair and a teller at my credit union.

But I fancy her, so I’m going to see what happens until they lock me up for inappropriate behavior.

I go in with a cash deposit. It’s about a week after my last one, so all good. This one pale girl says, “Next member.”

I ignore her and go to Alicia.

Arms are bare and furry as ever. I love her and her fuzz. She doesn’t cover them and doesn’t shave or wax them. I love my Alicia.

“Last time I was in here you looked like you were headed out to lunch.”

“I was.”

“Where do you normally go to lunch?” I said through the three-inch thick bullet proof glass.

“I usually bring my lunch in, but if not I go downstairs to Suburban or Wawa.”

“Do you ever go to the Comcast food court?” (Which is God)

“No. I’ve never been there. I hear they have a lot of great food there. Like seafood and everything.”

This tells me Alicia comes into work everyday and does her job and has a very simple life. Sandwiches and a conservative life. I find this attractive and think about my crazy idea of a note.

Do I ask her out to lunch with a note? I’ve already laid the groundwork about how passing a note to a teller is a robbery.

I may do it.

I have to think on this.

It’s original and fun.

I have to be careful because she could be in a relationship and that could be a wall. But I think I’m going to try for the blog.  I’ve loved Alicia in a phicklephilly way for so long I have to do it.

It’s a teller from the credit union entertaining a good client. She should do it. I wrote good reviews about this place and I’ll write more for her.

I could use that as a tool. I know it’s wrong but it’ll be great for her.

I need to structure my deposits so I can see her more.

I’m doing this.

It’s just lunch.

I’m going to make this happen.

As my father used to say “I’m determined.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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7 things highly accomplished people do every day before noon

  • Starting the day right is important — and successful people have tricks for getting the most out of their workday well before lunchtime.
  • For instance, Sabir Peele, the founder of Men’s Style Pro, says he he splits up his day in two halves in order to increase productivity, and after he finishes two tasks, he does 20 push-ups.
  • Many accomplished people also get to work early and get their least enjoyable task out of the way first, as saving it for later can add unnecessary stress and negativity to the day.

Do you struggle trying to find that morning motivation? You’re not alone. It can be hard to get yourself moving in the early hours of the day, especially if you lack the excitement necessary to do so in your workplace. But there are easy ways to combat this. (And one comes Venus Williams-recommended!)

Below, we’ve outlined seven things successful people do to get the most out of their work day well before lunchtime.

1. They set specific goals

1. They set specific goals
US President Barack Obama does pushups at a White House event.
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Sabir Peele, the founder of Men’s Style Pro, told Business Insider he splits up his day in two halves in order to increase productivity.

“I list a maximum of 10 tasks that I want to crush by noon,” he said. “To stay interested in what I’m doing, I do the most important tasks at the top of each hour and then handle emails. After I finish two tasks, I do 20 push-ups.”

Splitting your day up like Peele does can help keep things interesting and make the work day seem shorter (push-ups optional!).

2. They take one small break

2. They take one small break
Sheryl Sandberg takes an iced coffee break at Allen and Co’s Sun Valley mogul retreat.
Paul Sakuma/AP Images

In addition to checking things off their work to-do list, successful people take a little break to do something for themselves. Life and work is all about balance (we know you’ve heard that before!), and it’s important to not allow yourself to get burnt out before lunchtime. Take a mini-break: meditate in your office, take a walk around the block, go get your favorite iced coffee, or otherwise treat yourself.

3. They stay positive

If you are groggy or over-worked, it can be easy to be negative. But instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your life right now, turn your thoughts into positives. When you get frustrated or stressed or feel like you simply don’t have enough time in the day, take a small moment to write down the things about your job you are grateful for. Go back through the list every time you need a little pick-me-up!

4. They do their most dreaded task first

It can be easy to procrastinate on that dreaded task until the end of your day — which means it will be in your head for as long as you choose to put it off. This can add unnecessary stress and negativity to your day, and you don’t need that. Do your least desirable task as soon as you get in the office, and then the rest of your day will feel like a breeze.

5. They’re always focused on improving

5. They're always focused on improving
Tennis star Venus Williams constantly thinks about how to get better.
Matthew Stockman/Getty

According to Venus Williams, she is constantly thinking about what she needs to do next in order to keep improving. She told Fast Company, “It’s an addiction, but I always think about how to get better. Everything is geared toward that.” Ask yourself: What’s one thing you can do with the intention of “getting better” before noon?

6. They get to work early

You’ve heard that the early bird gets the worm, and in most cases, it’s true. Successful people get to work earlier and get started on that to-do list sooner. An ultra-productive day doesn’t start by hitting snooze and then inevitably arriving late to the office, stressed about the fact that your day is now out of whack. Do what needs to be done to wake up early (including by going to bed earlier if necessary).

7. They complete something off their personal to-do list, too

7. They complete something off their personal to-do list, tooKate Aedon/Shutterstock

If your life feels like it only revolves around work, it can become discouraging. Make a personal to-do list of one or two things you want to accomplish before noon, as well, whether it’s working out, reading the news or listening to a podcast. You’ll feel accomplished and as though you’ve achieved a little personal growth in addition to the professional. So cross it off that list and move on to your workplace goals.

 

 

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Alicia – Chapter 1 – Teller About It

STOP! This one is a little NSFW!

I worked in banking for 25 years. Probably the only thing I ever made my dad proud of me. But what a foolish choice. I did it as a young man to escape the long hours of retail. I never conformed before that. I wanted to be Joe Perry. But that wasn’t meant to be.

So sadly, when I left retail I went into retail banking. I did really well due to my low self-esteem and being an over achiever.

But now having been in the industry for so long and knowing everything about it, I keep my active account at a credit union. I like being a member, not a customer.

I go to my branch at 16th and Arch. There’s this one teller that I phicklephilly love. If you read this blog, you know what that is. I don’t really love her like I love my girlfriend but I adore her for purely lustful reasons.

She’s beautiful and sullen. Dark hair and eyes. I do what I can to light her up but there is little spark between Alicia, me, and 3 inches of bullet proof glass.

There is one thing about her that drives me crazy that normally I think most men would hate. But I’m not like anybody else. She has a dark floss of hair on her forearms.

I know, it sounds masculine, but I find it incredibly hot on this young lady. I come from the 70’s and I like hair. I like all of that. Hair is protection, maturity, and holds the scent.

Alicia’s hairy arms are so sexy to me. When she has a short-sleeved shirt on I feel like she’s sitting there with her top off and in the same moment grossing out her young male coworkers.

I like that she doesn’t care and just lets that sweet, soft fur fly.

Image result for girl with hairy forearms

Image result for girl with hairy forearms

It’s like that. Just a soft floss. Not like man arms. I like that. Maybe because in the film, Slingblade, Billy Bob Thorton says, “Hairy arms…hairy pussy.”

I love the idea that my favorite teller at my credit union has a hairy pussy. What a revelation in this modern world. A girl that handles my money on a weekly basis has a nice full bush between her legs.

Hallelujah in this day and age of no woman having anything below their eyebrows because of pornography!

It’s a travesty!

They all shave their vulvas now because of pornography. Young guys thing pubic hair is gross and every girl in modern life now shaves her nether regions. It’s ridiculous. That’s supposed to be there! I hate that now looking like an adolescent has become the norm. Disgusting.

Grow it back ladies!

I love the idea of this pretty teller that takes care of my account having a robust bush of hair between her legs.

I go into the branch and for once it’s quiet. I don’t get Alicia as my teller. I get some friendly fat guy with glasses. No one is around so I decide to hatch a plan. It could mean nothing but you never know, and fortune favors the bold.

Words I live by.

I hand him my deposit. “Hey I worked in banking for 25 years and can you imagine if you wanted to ask one of the tellers out for coffee or lunch, you just couldn’t do it.”

He laughs.

“Because there’s always people around and there’s the pesky bulletproof glass that makes it even harder.”

“Yea… ha ha.”

Now I have the attention of hot Alicia.

“You can’t pass a note, because as we all know, that anybody that passes a note to a teller in a bank or credit union is usually trying to rob the place, so that’s out!”

They all laugh and we have an industry moment. They all dig that I know banking and we’re laughing.”

 

But I want to have coffee with hot, hairy Alicia. When I get something in my head that seems impossible, I almost HAVE to do it.

I leave, but I feel that I’m a little closer to my diabolical plan unfolding.

 

A few weeks pass and I go to the credit union again. I’m making my deposit but I don’t see baby.

Then I see her leaving the branch. Obviously going to lunch. It’ll take the teller several minutes to count the cash deposit I’ve stuffed in her window slot.

It’s killing me. If I had just been here a few minutes sooner, my deposit would be done and I would’ve asked hot Alicia to lunch and offered to pay for all of her great service. She couldn’t refuse. She knows I have good loot in my account.

I’ve only seen her from the waist up at her window and now I’m seeing her walking out of the branch. The legs are good, and she’s even hotter to me now.

Fuck! She’s gone and it takes forever for the teller to count through my money.

But then she comes back! She must have forgotten something! I have a chance!

Nope. Deposit is taking years and even though I’ve said hello to her, she is once again out the fucking door.

Goddamn it.

I’m going to make this happen.

I may pass the note. Maybe on the envelope I pass her loaded with cash next time I go in.

I hope I don’t get arrested.

Phicklephilly’s not going to write itself.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly