How to Shut Down the Most Common Phrases From Manipulators

Manipulative people are difficult to deal with. There is often no end to the tricks they will use to guilt trip you, twist situations, and get what they want from you. The good news is that most of them use the same statements to get their way, so you can prepare to deal with them.

Learning how to respond to the most frequently used psychologically abusive tactics can help you keep yourself safe from even the most brutally manipulative individuals.

How To Shut Down The Most Common Phrases From Manipulators

1. I trust you; I just don’t trust other people.

A manipulative person, especially a partner, might constantly try to control your life. When you ask them why they don’t trust you, they’ll insist that they do, but that it’s other people they can’t trust. They may use this as an excuse to:

  • Check your phone and email
  • Run background checks on your friends
  • Refuse to let you go anywhere on your own
  • Prevent you from spending time with certain acquaintances

This turns the onus around on you, making you seem unreasonable while they look protective and strong. The problem, of course, is that this doesn’t make any sense – if someone untrustworthy is able to convince you to cheat, then you yourself weren’t trustworthy to begin with.

What’s the best response to this situation? Well, it should go a little something like this:

“I’m the person who you are dealing with here. It makes no sense for you to have to trust other people in order to talk to me. By reacting this way, you are making the assumption that I am weak-willed or prone to doing something bad if someone else entices me. It’s very disrespectful and you should trust in my honesty and faithfulness.”

2. You’re being too sensitive/crazy!

This is a type of gaslighting and it can really make you second-guess yourself. When something goes wrong and you try to talk about it or call it out, a manipulator will belittle you for your lack of positive thinking. They might say:

  • Calm down, it was just a joke.
  • Why do you always take everything so seriously?
  • You’re being crazy right now.
  • Stop being so sensitive!
  • You’re overthinking this entire situation.
  • It’s not actually that big of a deal.
  • You’re just misunderstanding me.
  • Lighten up!
  • Nothing you’re saying makes sense.
  • You really need to learn to loosen up a bit.
  • This is so unreasonable of you.

It definitely doesn’t help that manipulators naturally prey on people who are sensitive, in a positive way – people who are empathetic, understanding, and emotionally intelligent. There’s nothing wrong with being sensitive to begin with, and it shouldn’t come up when you’re voicing a valid concern.

Gaslighting can make you feel like you’re the crazy one, or like you’re overreacting and being insane. It’s a common manipulation tactic to trick you into giving in. Don’t fall for it! Here’s what you should say instead:

“This is something that is very important to me and it would mean a lot to me if you would listen and hear me out. It’s not fair of you to call me crazy or sensitive just because we don’t see eye-to-eye on something.”

3. I already said sorry; what else do you want?

Apologies are always a good way to go. But manipulators don’t use them when they truly are sorry and seeking forgiveness. Instead, they use it as a quick way to get out of a nasty situation and stop you from being angry or calling them out.

Unfortunately, that’s not how apologies work, especially for more serious transgressions. It’s normal to need to take some time to deal with the aftermath of what the other person did to you. You can’t switch to positive feelings right away.

This is reasonable and perfectly understandable – but a manipulator doesn’t think so. They think that since they’ve dropped the magic word, everything should stop right then and there. Demand a fair amount of time to recover from what happened by saying something like this:

“I really appreciate your apology, but apologizing doesn’t automatically heal all wrongdoings and wounds. Give me some time to process this and heal.”

4. Look what you made me do!

One key sign of a manipulator is that nothing is ever their fault. They refuse to take the rightful blame for anything wrong they do and will find any way to twist it so someone else is at fault. Manipulators are unable to take ownership of their mistakes, so they often try to pass the responsibility to someone else.

These types of people might say a number of different phrases to try to pass themselves off as innocent and pin the blame on you. Of course, it’s ridiculous to be blamed for something you didn’t do at all, especially when it’s the other person who is hurting you. To shut them down, say this.

“I am only responsible for what I do, and you’re responsible for what you do. It was your decision to act how you did, and I cannot make you act in a certain way, nor can I do that to anyone else.”

5. I would never hurt you.

This sounds like a good statement with kind intentions. It sounds reassuring and gentle. But manipulators don’t use it that way – they use it so you brush less obvious forms of abuse under the rug.

For many people, the deal breaker line is drawn at physical abuse. Meanwhile, emotional abuse becomes more and more prevalent, but you’re not as aware of it. This allows many forms of toxicity classified as psychological and emotional abusive to continue.

A manipulator is very aware that your limit likely lies here too, so they’re careful to never cross that limit. Instead, they are abusive in “sneakier” ways that they hope you won’t notice, and they throw you off the scent with phrases like these. So if someone is feeding these lines to you, respond like so:

“You can hurt someone in more ways than physical. Understand that a lack of physical assault doesn’t mean that there isn’t emotional pain.”

6. I already did something nice for you; why are you still angry at me?

Just like with the apologies, manipulators may do a nice thing for you so that you’ll drop some issue. They might buy you something expensive or do you a favor in hopes that your gratefulness will cause you to forget their problematic behavior.

It’s easy to fall victim to this kind of ploy. When someone is kind to you, you might feel bad demanding further apologies or may feel guilty when you are still mad at them. But keep in mind that there is nothing that can “buy” forgiveness. It has to be earned graciously with patience and changed behavior.

If a manipulator is trying to make you feel bad because they bought you a gift, say this:

“It was very kind that you bought this for me, but there’s no price tag on my forgiveness. If you’re attempting to use this present as a bribe for my forgiveness, you can take it back.”

Or, if they didn’t buy you presents:

“It was very kind that you did this for me, but you cannot buy my forgiveness with chores and errands. If you have an ulterior motive for helping me and doing these nice things, then I’d prefer you didn’t do them.”

7. I will hurt myself if you leave me.

This is one of the most dangerous forms of emotional manipulation. Someone who stops you from leaving them, or stops you from doing anything they don’t want you to by threatening to harm themselves, is incredibly toxic and a danger to themselves and to you.

Why is this so problematic? Well, this is the clearest type of manipulation. They don’t want you to do something, so they make it so you will feel guilty and suffer immediate consequences if you do it. That way, they can make themselves look like the victim and paint you in a bad light.

Many people feel pressured into staying with abusive partners because of tactics like this. They force themselves into positive thinking to “save” their manipulative significant other. Don’t fall prey to it. Stand your ground and let it be known that you will not be swayed with a statement like this:

“If you are experiencing these thoughts, please call a suicide hotline or an emergency number. I can help provide numbers for you if you like. I have told you why I have chosen to leave, and my decision is made, so please respect it.”

8. I understand your feelings, but trust me – I know what’s best!

No one should be allowed to make your decisions for you. A manipulator will pretend to be looking out for you but is instead pulling your strings to convince you to do what they want. They’ll use any types of words and phrases to convince you that they understand you when they either don’t at all or really don’t care.

Yes, everyone could use an outside opinion sometimes, but at the end of the day, you still know yourself best. A manipulator isn’t actually seeking what’s best for you – they are selfish and want specific things for themselves, so they’re just trying to rope you along.

In any partnership, you deserve to be respected and heard. Your opinion matters just as much as the other person’s; a lack of willingness to compromise or talk it out, instead resorting to cheap tricks like this, is a huge red flag. Don’t fall for it. Instead, say this:

“To presume that you know what’s best for me, even when I tell you my opinion, is very controlling. I would like for what I have to say to be listened to and respected. I believe that the best thing for us is to make these big decisions together, as what is best for you may not actually turn out to be what is best for me.”

Final Thoughts On How To Shut Down The Most Common Phrases From Manipulators

Dealing with manipulators is exhausting. Although we referenced romantic relationships for many of these instances, they work for all types of people, regardless of your connection to them.

Manipulators come in many forms. They can be your partner, a family member, a friend, a colleague, or even a mere acquaintance who you barely know. Regardless of who someone is to you, manipulation is wrong, and it’s important that you know how to protect yourself. Shutting down their most common phrases will show them that you’re not someone they can play their mind games with.

 

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Tales of Rock – They Removed the Background Music from “We Are The Champions,” Now listen to just Freddie’s voice

Although he passed away, Freddie Mercury will forever live in our hearts as one of the greatest rock legends in the history of music. Not only did he put on one of the most epic live performances in history, but he also has a voice that has yet to be matched.

They removed the background music from “We Are The Champions,” now listen to just Freddie’s voice

Up until now, there is no one who sings like Freddie Mercury, and the video below is proof.In the video below, you will hear Freddie and Queen sing their classic song, “We Are The Champions.” But, thanks to a user edit, you will only hear Freddie’s voice.

They removed the background music from “We Are The Champions,” now listen to just Freddie’s voice

A user removed the background music and instrumentals to highlight Freddie’s voice and show the world how chilling it is.

Please SHARE this talented performance with everyone you know on Facebook.

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – My Altamont Moment

We were playing this gig at the Roxy one night. May have been ’83 by then. Girls were never a problem. Anybody who doesn’t believe guitars are chick magnets has obviously never strapped on a guitar before. Anyway, we played all over the state, working pretty steady, staying in all manner of “band housing”. We were at a better-than-average club and doing our normal thing.

This particular night the bar was having a drawing for something, I can’t remember what. We were going to have a longer break than usual after one of our sets so they could use our PA to do the drawing. I went to the bar and was getting a coke. A rather attractive girl asked me if we did a certain song she liked, to which I nodded and replied “next set, I think”. Our drummer was standing there waiting on me, as he wanted to get in a game of pool while we waited for the drawing to get over. We went to the tables and he racked up the game. I was lining up my first shot when I heard “hey, asshole”. I, of course, looked up to see who was calling who an asshole. What I saw was what turned out to be the butt end of a pool cue coming at my face at rather high velocity. It caught me on the bridge of my nose. I’m done. I’m collapsed on the pool table, screaming, blood pouring from my face. The drummer tackled the guy swinging the cue as he was lining up for another whack at me. Then the singer (not a small guy) jumped in. They, with a bouncer, dragged the guy out thru the kitchen and behind the bar where they damn near killed him. Turns out the attractive girl who asked me about the song had an extremely jealous ex-boyfriend who was in the bar and saw her talking to me.

A couple days later, after the swelling went down and my eyes were able to open, she took me to dinner. She was really embarrassed over the whole thing. Just dinner, too. She had another boyfriend already, a cop. Who just happened to be the responding officer that night who ended up arresting ex-boyfriend for assault. Guess there were a few too many witnesses for him to claim self defense.

Rock n’ Roll!

 

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Tales of Rock – Slash is Having a Yard Sale — and there are Dinosaurs!

I love rock and I love dinosaurs!

Slash from Guns n Roses and Velvet Revolver

Well, it’s not really a yard sale, but the Guns n Roses and Velvet Revolver guitarist is unloading a bunch of his stuff at auction. As you might expect, there is a ton of his clothes and guitars, but what interested me was all the cool things he used to decorate his home.

From the auction description:

Ever the archetypal rock star and ranked as one of the world’s best guitar players of all time, Slash has spent years traveling the world and collecting various items which will now come to the auction block for the very first time. Some of his eclectic collection tells the story of Slash’s love of film, television and fast cars. Offered are items which include the bench from the “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest” movie set (Est: $6,000-8,000), a South Park Pinball Machine (Est: $2,500-3,500), a 2007 Harley Davidson V-Rod VRSCAW Twin Racing Street Custom Cruiser (Est: $8,000-10,000), and the star of the show is his 1966 Corvette equipped with a big block 427 cubic inch V-8 engine with 435 horsepower, 4-speed manual transmission(Est: $90,000-$100,000).

When you make millions of dollars, you have to spend it on something, and it always amazes me to see how these celebrities blow their wad. Apparently, Slash likes dinosaurs. Nothing wrong with that. Check this out…

Slash dinosaur table

LOT 392: DINOSAUR FORM COFFEE TABLE

Slash must have had an entire dinosaur themed room since there are a bunch of lots of dinosaur models. I love the windup Creature from the Black Lagoon in this lot:

Slash dinosaurs collection

LOT 386: GROUP OF ASSORTED DINOSAUR ITEMS

Of course, every rocker needs some down time to unwind, and what better way to relax than to play some Asteroids…

slash - asteroids arcade machine

LOT 409: ATARI ASTEROIDS VIDEO ARCADE GAME

or pinball!

slash - south park pinball machine

LOT 406: SEGA SHOWCASE SOUTH PARK PINBALL MACHINE

Of course, this is the item any Slash fan would want in his collection:

Guns n Roses Slash top hat

LOT 380: SLASH WORN FELT TOP HAT WITH “JEWELED” SKULL AND CROSSBONES BAND

This is just a small sampling of the cool items from Slash’s personal collection that will be auctioned off later this month. Julien’s Auctions will be holding the auction on March 26, 2020, and you can bid now online.

 

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Tales of Rock – 5 Respected Musicians Who Were Actually Terrible People

Some musicians just have a freakish amount of talent. Most of us learn at a young age that we are not those people. The realization probably came as soon as you were old enough to read social cues and you tried showing off your amazing talents to anyone except your pet. (Daisy is a very good dog, but maybe not a very good judge of musical ability.) Those who do have that freakish amount of talent are the singer-songwriters, the people who can play any instrument they pick up, the ones who get lost in the music of their own making whether they’re in the studio or on stage. There’s something almost magical about listening to a true musical genius, and they’ve definitely earned our respect. But it’s easy to forget that behind all that music is a very ordinary person, and sometimes, that ordinary person is a terrible human being.

1. Johnny Cash’s troubles with women

5 Respected musicians who were actually terrible people

There’s a lot of dark stuff in Johnny Cash’s life, but let’s talk about just how horrible he was to women. Vivian Cash’s book I Walked the Line: My Life with Johnny was a heartbreaking tell-all detailing how she continued loving her husband even through the drugs and the affair with his more famous second partner, June Carter Cash. It was Vivian who gave him four daughters, raised them, and who stuck with him through the worst of the arrests and the accidental forest fires (via USA Today), but Johnny gave all the credit to June.

Behind closed doors, June Carter didn’t actually have it any easier, in spite of the storybook romance performed in the public eye. Biographer Robert Hilburn (via Esquire) says he was stunned when he found out Cash had cheated on her when she was pregnant with son John Carter. There were more than a few women, but the one that had to hurt the most was June’s own sister, Anita. John Carter has also gone on record talking about his parents’ less-than-perfect marriage, and has said (via Reuters) his mother’s drug addictions and descent into paranoia came from a near-constant fear he was cheating yet again. That fear spread to their son, who grew up well aware that his family could fall apart at any time because his father couldn’t stay faithful.

2. Chuck Berry’s icky past

5 Respected musicians who were actually terrible people

Chuck Berry was a legend who helped shape rock and roll, and when he died in 2017, The New Yorker described him as “a proud and difficult man” who “was also a genius.” He also once punched Keith Richards in the mouth for touching his guitar while they were getting together to organize Berry’s 60th birthday party. That’s the attitude that got him into all kinds of trouble, and Berry even had a name for those incidents: his “naughties.”

It started when, as a teenager, he did three years in a reform school for stealing cars and a bit of armed robbery. Fast-forward to 1962, when Berry was 36 years old. He was tossed in the clink for violating the Mann Act, a law that prohibits taking a woman across state lines with “immoral” intentions. Oh, and the girl was 14. He served 20 months of the three years he was originally sentenced to (via NPR), getting out because they appealed after the judge made racist comments.

Let’s not forget about the 1989 accusations, either. That’s when law enforcement raided his property and found a few weapons, some pot, and videotapes of women in what they thought was the privacy of bathrooms and changing rooms of his properties. The official suit, says Riverfront Times, accused him of filming women in compromising positions for “entertainment and gratification.” Berry’s camp eventually settled, but that seriously tarnishes any legacy.

3. Lead Belly’s penchant for violence

5 Respected musicians who were actually terrible people

Lead Belly died in 1949, and if you don’t remember him, you should at least be glad groups like Creedence Clearwater Revival and artists like Bob Dylan didn’t forget him. Even George Harrison once said, “No Lead Belly, no Beatles.” You know the songs he recorded, too — like “The Midnight Special” and “Goodnight Irene” (via The Telegraph).

Huddie Ledbetter was born in 1888, and he picked up the name Lead Belly in prison. He did several stretches in jail, starting with 30 days on a chain gang in 1915 for getting in a particularly violent fight. Two years later he was arrested again, this time for killing his cousin’s husband and nearly killing another. He was pardoned in 1925 but went back in jail in 1930, this time for stabbing and what Black History Now says was “assault with intent to murder.” It was during this stint he was discovered by a pair of musicologists who were recording songs for the Smithsonian, and Lead Belly recorded hundreds for them. The rest of his life was a combination of performing at venues of all sizes across the country, and more time in jail. There was another stabbing incident in 1939, assault in 1940 … you get the picture. He was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease only months before he died from it, and he left behind an incredible legacy. And some dead people.

4. Elvis’s underage flings

5 Respected musicians who were actually terrible people

It’s impossible to describe the effect Elvis had on music history, so let’s get right to the dirt. He was 21 when he became ridiculously famous with the success of “Heartbreak Hotel,” and after that, all bets were off when it came to how far he was going to go. Along with the fame and fortune came the admiration of countless women, but according to biographer Joel Williamson (via Broadly), there was a particular type of woman Elvis liked: the really, really young ones.

The right age to be an Elvis girl was 14, and when the 22-year-old megastar went on those early tours he took along a little group of 14-year-olds. Williamson says he was a huge fan of tickling and wrestling, along with everything else short of actual intercourse. Future wife Priscilla was 14 when they met (he was 24), and just what went on behind closed doors is debated. What’s not debated is that he lost interest in her after Lisa Marie was born, and went on to court another 14-year-old named Reeca Smith.

There was a bit of violence in Elvis, too. Years later, he was engaged to a 21-year-old who claimed he once pulled out a gun and put a bullet in the headboard of the bed she was sleeping in, saying it was “an attention getter.” The Guardian says in between those major relationships there were a ton of others, many with underage girls who preferably had tiny, tiny feet.

5. Frank Sinatra’s destructive temper

5 Respected musicians who were actually terrible people

Frank Sinatra was iconic on stage, but there was a lot of shady stuff that happened off-stage. Let’s talk about one part of that: his temper. According to The Telegraph, it was so bad that one of his wives once described him as a sort of Jekyll-and-Hyde character, and there’s a whole list of physical altercations he was involved in. First, the ones where someone got seriously hurt.

He punched a reporter in 1948, eventually settling the assault and battery charges filed against him. He was staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel when he threw a phone at a random businessman who was also there, and cracked the man’s skull. He nearly killed his then-wife Ava Gardner by throwing a champagne bottle at her so hard it cracked the bathroom sink.

Sinatra destroyed an insane amount of stuff, too, usually in fits of rage. He took a knife to a Norman Rockwell painting and shredded it, threw a malfunctioning TV out a window at Sands Hotel in Las Vegas, and smashed a car radio when The Doors’ “Light My Fire” came on. GQ says some of the stuff that met an untimely end under his boot was pretty priceless, too, like the Ming vase he destroyed at a Hong Kong hotel after someone missed a lighting cue. That’s what happens when you get too used to having things your way.

 

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Lovely Lauren – The Most Beautiful Bartender I Ever Met – Part 3 – The Interview

Phicklephilly: What’s your favorite movie?

 

Lauren: Almost Famous.

 

Phicklephilly: Good one. Have you created any signature drinks at Stratus?

 

Lauren: Yes. i brought a grapefruit gin fizz to stratus. I love to make it for our clients. It’s deliciocious.  You should let me make you one, Charles.

 

Phicklephilly: Let’s make that happen, Lauren.

 

Lauren: Sounds good, Charles. (smiles)

 

Phicklephilly: What brought you to Stratus, Lauren?

 

Lauren: I was working at another venue and someone scouted me on Facebook and they hire me.

 

Phicklephilly: You had mentioned Nursing in our initial meetings.

 

Lauren: I’m not going there.

Phicklephilly: Let’s quickly and deftly switch gears here, dear. What are your thoughts on the world of mixology?

 

Lauren: I’ve never referred to myself as a mixologist, not that I don’t get creative behind the bar. There are so many aspects…. technical, personality, and creativity. When I think of the word mixology i just think of mixing drinks. I’m a bartender and being a mixologist is only a small part of what I do on a daily basis.

 

Phicklephilly: Which do you prefer?

 

Lauren: Bartender for sure.

 

Phicklephilly: How has the job changed since you began, Lauren?

Lauren: When I first started there were new technical things I had to learn. But now I can focus on the more creative and elegant aspects of my job.

 

Phicklephilly: How have you changed since you started?

 

Lauren: Oh, I was really naive at first. I definitely never realized that it’ a whole show. I was always affable but every part of the job i a performanance. The more I do it the more I see it as a career. I’ve met so many people that are on so many levels of the industry.

 

Phicklephilly: What do you see trending now in the way of drinking?

 

Lauren: Oh my gosh….Fireball! We don’t serve it but the kids love it!

 

Phicklephilly: Best customer?

 

Lauren: Best is on a Friday night. They know what they want, the money is out and we make it happen. Weekdays… social… try new drinks. I love a client that wants to try new things!

Phicklephilly: Worst?

 

Lauren: Someone snapping in my face: “what’s your cheapest and strongest drink?”

 

Phicklephilly: Ooh brutal. What’s the bst tip  you ever got?

 

Lauren: I was bartendeing with another employee and she didn’t want the table. It was outside on the deck and I took it. It was was my first ever. The bill was $50 and the tip was $300!!!

 

Phicklephilly: Have you served any celebrities?

 

Lauren: Yes. Several athletes. I don’t remember their names. I once served Lynyrd Skynyrd and Bad Company at Stratus.

 

Phicklephilly: Nice! Where can we find you on the other side of the rail?

Lauren: Morgan’s Pier down on the river. Outdoor, sunny skies and by the water. Very chill and a fun place to be in the summer. I also like North Shore Beach. Again, it’s a low key bar with a pool in the city where I can chill and relax.

 

Phicklephilly: What’s your favorite color?

 

Lauren: Purple. I’ve always felt purple, but when it comes to clothes, I love the color black.

Phicklephilly: Black is slimmimg, not that you need it.

 

Lauren. You’re funny.

 

Phicklephilly: Who is your favorite actor/actress?

 

Lauren: No idea, but again, Lucille Ball.

 

Phicklephilly: She is and was amazing. The first of her kind. What’s your favorite beer, wine and cocktail?

Lauren: Victory Summer Love, Yards Saison, and Savignion Blanc. It’s so light and refreshing!

 

Phicklephilly: I LOVE Victory Summer Love in Spring and Summer too!”

 

Lauren: It’s SO good!

 

Phicklephilly: Do you consider yourself a salesperson at Stratus?

 

Lauren: I would consider myself an honest person. I will stand behind something I truly feel is great. If you don’t like what I made for you, I’ll make you something else.

 

Phicklephilly: What’s your favorite food?

 

Lauren: Sushi. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

 

Phicklephilly: Have you ever had to memorize a load of drinks?

 

Lauren: Every night, Charles.

 

Phicklephilly: What is the most stressful… worst job you’ve ever had?

Lauren: Working at a nightclub where I had keys and it was just a crazy scene. (I should have gone deeper here)

 

Phicklephilly: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”

 

Lauren: Hopefully with a college degree and in a career I’m passionate about.

 

Phicklephilly: Who is your role model?

 

Lauren: Lucille Ball. (Wow… again)

 

Phicklephilly: What’s your super power, Lauren?

 

Lauren: If looks could kill… I have an evil look.

 

Phicklephilly: Okay… I get that.

 

Lauren: What’s yours…? (giggles)

 

Phicklephilly: Turning alcohol into regret.

 

lauren: Ha ha ha You are killing me, Charles!

 

Phicklephily: It’swhat I do, dear. What’s your spirit animal?

 

Lauren: Definitely a dog. I love to cuddle but I still have the power to bite your head off.

 

Phicklephilly: Noted… What’s your dream destination?

 

Lauren: New Zealand!

 

Charles: Is there other life in the universe?

 

Lauren: If it’s happening here on earth, I feel that it must be happening somewhere else too.

 

Phicklephilly: How lucky are you, and why?

 

Lauren: I feel extremely lucky andhave gotten opportunities that people have been kind enough to grant me. I am very grateful. I feel very fortunate, Charles.

 

Phicklephilly: Are you a hunter or a gatherer?

 

Lauren: A gatherer. (I should have expanded on this one too)

 

Phicklephilly: Desert Island. You can only bring 3 things. What do you do?

 

Lauren: I would have to bring my friend Liza who I’ve known forever. She works for NASA. Jiro from Jiro dreams of sushi so he could make me the best sushi. Oh and lots of razors…. because I hate being hairy. (Again… I should have delved deeper here)

 

PhicklephillY: Do you like cereal? If you were a box of cereal, what would you be, Lauren?

 

Lauren: Honey Bunch of Oats! Because you get so many flavors in one box. So many variations, and when you get to the root of it… that’s me.

 

Phicklephilly: Best human trait?

 

Lauren: The will to survive. (Could have done so much better on this one)

 

Phicklephilly:  You’re the new addition to the crayon box. What color are you?

 

Lauren: Oh course, purple, Charles. You asked me that already. ha ha

 

Phicklephilly: Movie about you. Who plays you, and why?

 

Lauren: Oh, Lindsay Lohan. Have you seen Georgia Rule?

 

Phicklephilly: ha ha okay… yes.  What’s the funniest thing that happened to you lately?

 

Lauren: Yea… I went to a musical festival. I ended up in lying in a blow up baby pool full of stuffed animals. No water, dude.

 

Phicklephilly: hahhah ha that’s insane. have you ever been on a boat?

 

Lauren: Yes! I went kayaking last week. It was one of the most fun days of my life!

 

And it ends there…. I think I could have gone so much deeper, but it was her first and my first interview. It was never published so it go buried. But I believed that it was always good and she was a lovely girl so I’m very pleased to immortalize Lauren forever here on Phicklephilly.

I think she’s married and lives in New York now.

Lucky guy!

 

What a lovely girl!

 

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Lovely Lauren – The Most Beautiful Bartender I’ve Ever Met – Part 2 – The Interview

I’ve gotten the opportunity to interview the hottest bartender in the city for a publication I worked for back in 2013. The client paid us to be in our publication but our editor rejected it. Said our readers wouldn’t relate.

Lauren was incredibly disappointed. I felt sad that I’d wasted her time and failed her due to another person’s decision.

 

But…. for the first time I finally have the platform to showcase this lovely woman’s images and her words.

 

Here’s her story…

 

Our girl Lauren worked at Pietro’s at the age of 18. She had no experience . She called every day and finally got the job. She trained for two weeks and got the job!

She did some work in an art initiative. She did fashion merchandising for a while but that wasn’t a match. It just didn’t work out.

 

Here I am at the BNY Mellon Center on the 27th floor and lovely Lauren arrives.

She’s wearing a light silky black top. It clings to her breasts as they swing and bounce to welcome the day. What a beauty she is. She’s lovely. Her top pushes her breast forward to welcome her guests.

She’s sweet to me. but I’m the interviewer. My manager hovers about her taking photos..

I like this because I want him to capture this rare bird.

So lovely and simple.

He leaves the room, and I have my first moment with my client. This sweet lady I’ve been dying to interview.

 

Phicklephilly: What do you like most about your profession?

Lauren: I get to go into work everyday and no matter what kind of day my clients are having I can make them their favorite drink. I can even introduce them to a new drink and lift their spirits. I also get to hear so many stories and meet so many interesting people. I get to see a side of them that maybe most people don’t get to see.

 

Phicklephilly: What do you like the least about your job?

 

Lauren: The exact same thing I just told you. The side I see when I feel like I’m babysitting 100 drunk adults.

 

Phicklephilly: How long have you been doing this?

 

Lauren: I’m 22 so I’ve been bartending for 5 years.

 

Phicklephilly: Any heroes?”

 

Lauren: Lucille Ball.

 

Phicklephilly: Good one. She was amazing. What do you like to do in your spare time?”

 

Lauren: I’m a low key person compared to most industry people that are a bunch of drunken idiots. I like good music, laid back time. Morgan’s Pier with friends. I don’t do after hours bars. When I’m off I like a chill time in a low key bar.

 

Phicklephilly: Why should we go to stratus?

 

Luaren: Who doesn’t want to drink an extraordinary cocktail  on a beautiful rooftop bar?

 

Phicklephilly: Good point. What’s your best bar experience?

 

Lauren: I guess my best bar experience has been at Stratus. It was me and two other trainees. Saturday night. I was sure it was going to be a disaster. (Like the scene from the Tom Cruise film, Cocktail) But it turned out to be amazing. But I think the most important day was when we did Spring Awakening. I was working my own station. They pulled me out of my station. I was needed behind the bar. I was slammed, but I knew in that moment I had stepped up to the next level in the bartending scene in Philadelphia.

 

Phicklephilly: Thank you for that, Lauren. That was great and heartfelt answer. What was your worst experience?

 

Lauren: My first night bartending a guy came in and started chatting to me. He’s talking about his wife, and family and it all seemed normal. Then at some point during the night he passed me a piece of paper. It was a not about terms of him taking care of me financially if I took care of him.

 

Phicklephilly: How did that make you feel?

 

Lauren: I excused myself and went into the walk in (freezer) and cried. Today I would have dealt with it differently. But I was 18. Today I would have laughed in his face and tossed the note back in his face.

 

Phicklephilly: Well done, Lauren. Sadly, any other horror stories. I’m sure the readers will love it.

 

Lauren: Ummm… wait, there wa this one lady that woud come in on a regular basis. She would order a few drinks and some food. I would bring out the food and she would cry hysterically  and yell at me and tell me to take it away.  This went on like once or twice a year for years!

 

Phicklephilly: That’ also awful. What happened to her?

 

Lauren: No idea. One day he just stopped coming in. Maybe she died. lol.

 

Phicklephilly” What’s your favorite sports team?

 

Lauren: The Flyers!

 

Phicklephilly: Cool. What’s your poison and your end of shift drink?

 

Lauren: I’m a typical vodka and tonic or soda girl. I have a weakness for margaritas though, but my favorite end of shift drink is a huge bottle of water!

 

Phicklephilly: What’s your favorite food and your most hated food?

 

Lauren: I love sushi and hate tuna fish from a can. I’m a pescitarian but that’s the two.

 

Phicklephilly: What about music, Lauren?

 

Lauren: A lot. I like Phish. But I also like weird funky dance music to jam bands. I also like Alternative. You won’t see me listening to top 40. Music is a huge part of my life. You’ll never see me at Made in America, but at more low key festivals. I like Jam on the River.

 

To be continued….

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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