7 Tough-But-Honest Reasons Why People Cheat — Emotionally and Physically

It’s not just an urge.

Cheating is a destructive event that can happen within any relationship. It is important to be aware that people have different definitions of what cheating means to them. That’s why there are so many different reasons for why people cheat.

For example, some people believe flirting is an innocent act while other people may feel that it is a sign of much more.

There are different types of cheating, which include:

  • Physical cheating: Physically cheating is when a person within a relationship engages in a sexual activity with another person outside of the relationship. It could include engaging in physical activities like hugging, kissing, and ;sexual activities.
  • Emotional cheating: Emotional cheating can begin harmlessly. It may start off with someone intimately talking about problems within their lifestyle to another person outside of the relationship. These two people can begin to form a strong bond that develops into a sexually charged emotional connection.
  • Sexting: Sexting is when two people sexually flirt via the text messaging system on their mobile phones or computers. It can include sending inappropriate photos to each other.
  • Online cheating: Cyber cheating, or online cheating, happens when two people develop a passionate relationship online through social networking services. It could include the use of Facebook and dating websites like OkCupid or Tinder.

The interactions may at first be flirty but can quickly lead to an intimate development.

A good way to know whether you have cheated is to understand whether you would tell your partner about the interaction you had with another person.

A noted clinical psychologist with a specialty in infidelity, Dr. Alicia H. Clark says, “Secrecy is a good litmus test — if you wouldn’t tell your partner about the interaction, no matter how ‘innocent’ you think it is, you’re having an affair.”

Everyone already understands that cheating is wrong, so why do people cheat?

Here are 7 of the most common reasons married men and women have for emotional cheating and other types of affairs.

1. A person is not committed to the relationship.

People are placed in situations where people may flirt with them, which may have never happened to them before. Some people are given the opportunity to cheat and within that moment they are not afraid of the consequences. The feeling of the chase may be more captivating than maintaining a relationship.

Dr. Clark stated: “Novelty is a big player in attraction, and anonymity offers opportunity. Maybe you meet some guy on a plane, and he flirts with you, flatters you, and gives you something you’re not getting in your primary relationship. If you engage in a way that helps you fill whatever void you have in your primary relationship, you’re entering emotional infidelity territory.”

2. People use cheating is an excuse to end the relationship.

A person within the relationship may fall out of love. The person looking to leave the relationship may cheat so the relationship ends.

3. A person’s relationship needs are not met.

People have different needs within their sex life that only their partner can fulfill.

These needs include passion, romance, affection, attention, love, sex and feelings of appreciation. If the needs are not met it can bring on feelings of being taken for granted, loneliness, tension, and neglect. In some cases, they may have asked their partner to try something new to spice their relationship up, but the request was ignored.

The feelings of sexual exploration, motivation and curiosity can outweigh a boring sex life which can make two people grow apart. Eventually, a person may begin to find another way to get their needs met. For many people, this is the beginning of an emotional affair — and eventually a physical one.

4. The couple does not spend time maintaining the relationship.

There are a lot of responsibilities that can get in the way of maintaining a personal relationship. Some things include work, cooking, cleaning and children. Maintaining a relationship is just as important as all of the other responsibilities in our life, people just need to set aside time to spend with each other.

5. Lack of expression and communication within a relationship.

People often forgot to tell each other how much they mean to each other or forget to discuss important aspects of their relationship. Lack of communication can mean there was no way for their relationship to grow.

6. A need for self-exploration.

When two people spend all their time together, things can grow boring. Sometimes people need personal space to separate themselves from their relationship. Some people look to someone else to help build their own personal identity.

7. Insecurities.

Some people are insecure and feel like their partner will cheat on them or their relationship won’t last.

Some insecure people cheat first before they get hurt, because cheating is easier than feeling emotional pain.

 

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This Is The Difference Between Casual Hookups & Casual Relationships, According To Experts

It can be near impossible to know what to call the person you’re “seeing” (read: sleeping with) but not really “dating” (read: attending family functions with). Are they your boo? Your date? Your “special friend?” The difference between casual hookups and casual relationships can be super #confusing and couple-specific. If your life resembles a hookup-turns-to-LTR rom-com (like Friends With Benefitsor No Strings Attached), you may have seamlessly transitioned from sleeping with someone here and there, to going to their work parties and being featured on their *public* Insta (that’s dating, right?). But if your life is anything like mine, “Sleeping With Someone For Four Months Without Ever DTRing, So You Have No Clue What’s Happening” would undoubtedly be a lengthy chapter in your memoir.

“Both casual relationships and hookups are designed to stay compartmentalized and not have the burden of commitment on either partner,” Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist and creator of Your Happiness Hypothesis Method, tells Elite Daily. “A causal relationship is a physical and emotional relationship without the commitment, labels, or demands of a committed relationship. A casual hookup is a sexual relationship that only exists for fulfilling sexual needs.”

Whether you slept with a cutie one time and have no intentions of doing it again or you plan on getting frisky often but are set in keeping things purely physical, you may be clear on the fact that you’re in a casual hookup situation. “Usually it is a purely sexual/physical relationship where there are no relational strings attached,” Shula Melamed, MA, MPH, and well-being coach says. A casual hookup can be a relationship based in getting it on with a boo, without any other expectations. “This is a hookup buddy or a FWB situation — a person in your life you can text at any hour (typically late night) and hookup,” Relationship Coach Nina Rubin says. “You know each other well enough for sex or to hookup but you don’t typically date or make plans.” If you have no interest in going to the museum with your ~special friend~ or meeting their mom, having a casual hookup could be a sexy and fun way to get your physical needs met. Of course, navigating a strictly hookup situation can get a little sticky if one party starts to want more than the physical stuff, “The difference for hookups are that sometimes one partner is hoping that the relationship evolves into something beyond just sexual satisfaction,” Silva says. Still, if you and your boo are clear on what you want from your sexy time together, keeping your relationship purely physically may be ideal for you.

Of course, if you slept with a cutie and then kind of kept sleeping with them (without talking about your long-term plans with them) or if you’re ultimately interested in more than just sex — it may be hard to establish exactly what the heck is going on. “Usually, in any kind of ‘relationship,’ you are doing more together than just hooking up or being physical,” Melamed says. “A casual relationship is one in which the obligations that the couple have to one and other may be looser (i.e. don’t attend family holidays, work events, or anything else ‘couple-y’), but there are moments when you spend time together outside just hooking up.”

If you like to go on dates but you’re not trying to be exclusive, or if you enjoy spending time together but haven’t established anything more than that, you may be more in the “casual dating” territory. “This is a dating relationship that doesn’t have to lead to anything. You and your companion enjoy activities and spending time together, but are not trying to take the relationship ‘to the next level,'” Rubin says. Of course, ‘the next level’ means something different for everyone. If you’ve only been in more hookup situations, going on a literal “date” could be a step. If you’ve been “casually seeing” someone, asking to be exclusive could take things to a new level.

According to the experts, there are a number of factors that can distinguish a casual hookup from a casual relationship. “I think the biggest difference is time of day! (Ha!) Actually, a difference is that the casual hookup usually is just about the physical connection,” Rubin says. Your hookup may be turning into a casual relationship, “When you start to like each other or make plans to get together,” Rubin says. From making special plans for activities to do with them to hanging out without having sex — a casual relationship can mean you and your date are open to more than just having sex.

From wanting to see your person during the day to solely sticking to bed-bound hangouts, the nature of your dates may inform the nature of your relationships. “The biggest difference between hookup and dating is the emotional attachment and intent you had about the person from the beginning of your arrangement. A hookup can progress into something more when there are mutual feelings involved,” Silva says.

Of course, if you’re unsure about where your boo is at, or what you and your special friend are doing, it’s totally natural to feel confused or a little stressed about the whole situation. According to Melamed, the best thing to do is to communicate frequently about what’s going on. “The mistake many people make in these more casual arrangements is not talking about the relationship and the what the parameters are. These relationships usually get messy when someone thinks there are ‘more’ or ‘less’ obligations to one and other when no conversation has transpired,” Melamed says. If you’ve ever tried to sit down with the person you’ve been sleeping with for four months to flush out “what you are,” you may already know how challenging it can be (I’m stressed just thinking about it).

If you’ve started to catch feelings or you’ve realized you’re not totally equipped for something casual, it may feel overwhelming to discuss what you need from your boo or how your intentions with them have evolved. “People tend to avoid these discussions because they are afraid they will be asked for something they can’t or don’t want to deliver,” Melamed says. While it may seem intimidating, according to Melamed, the moment of discomfort can be worth it in the long run as it can combat some major pain or bigger issues down the line. “In the most positive and productive way, the two of you talk about it and decide together. In the least productive and potentially harmful way, one person decides and expects the other person to step up in a way that they aren’t even aware is expected of them,” Melamed says.

If you’ve started to feel more serious about your casual relationship, you may start to feel a little resentful or angry when your boo isn’t reciprocating. If you got into something a little more casual than you wanted, and you’re struggling to communicate your needs to your date because you feel the pressure to “be chill” or “not demanding” about what you actually want (my brand), it may be worthwhile to check in with yourself about what you’re feeling.

“If your intent from the beginning was to use sex as a screener for a relationship and the other person felt completely comfortable just keeping it physical, you may have to evaluate why you want to pursue a one-sided relationship,” Silva says. Going along in a relationship you’re not totally fulfilled with, hoping that it will one day become what you want, can set you up for some major heartache. Although talking to your boo can’t guarantee that they’re feeling the same way you are, it can help clarify whatever the heck it is that they are feeling, and can help you navigate the best way to move forward.

You deserve the type of relationship you want, whether it’s super exclusive and serious or really open and casual. From hooking up to dating to literally walking down the aisle, if you’re confused about what you’re doing with your boo at anystage — it may be time to talk to them about it. Although it may seem scary to DTR, the clarity can ultimately help you get what you deserve and want from love. Remember: Prioritizing your own wellbeing is nothing to keep casual.

 

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Guy learns the hard way to be careful who you drunkenly hook up with at a family wedding

Here’s a good one!

No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. And quite often, these mistakes involve the notoriously problem-causing combination of alcohol and sex (that combo is probably why a lot of us even exist). But no matter how embarrassing or horrifying your drunken mistakes have been, you can pat yourself on the back knowing you didn’t mess up as badly as this guy (and gal) who had an extremely rude awakening after a drunken night at a wedding—a family wedding, if that’s any indication of how bad this mistake was.

Teen Reddit user seasickjellyfish shared this story to the sub-Reddit “TIFU” (Today I F*cked Up) where it went viral. And that’s how we know it’s a doozy.

It all begins at his uncle’s wedding, about 18-20 months ago (you, too, would be blurry on the details if you were him—some memories remain hazy for a reason):

So this happened about 18 months ago, or somewhere in the vicinity of 18-20 months. I still get flak from this from both family and friends.

So, the setting: my uncle’s wedding. It’s around Autumn and my uncle by my mothers side, from an exceptionally large family (this is relevant), is getting married for the second time. Now my family is very large. My mother has 3 brothers and 5 sisters. All with children of their own, and some even with children of their own now.

The wedding isn’t what I would describe as large, pretty much encompassing just family and close friends. All in all, there can’t have been more than 50 or 60 people there, and around 60% (at a rough estimate) or so are related by blood to me. They make up the majority is what I’m trying to say, and many are spread over whom I have only briefly met, or in some cases, never met. Well, you can see where this is going.

For reference, I would be around mid 17 in this story, with the age of consent in my country (UK) being 16. The girl, who we shall call Isla, was 22 or 23.

Well, at the reception, I am having a good time with my sister, parents and cousins. Dancing, heavily indulging in drinking etc. Just generally enjoying myself as it is rare for large family gatherings for us for obvious reasons.

A girl I don’t recognise begins to dance with me on the (very crowded) dance-floor. She’s older than me clearly, but I thought maybe 19 or 20. Anyway, we start dancing, touching etc. She twerks on me a little, I grind a bit and I presume nobody noticed due to accumulated intoxication and crowdedness around where we were. One things leads to another, we start kissing and she asks me if I want to go ‘upstairs’, which I correctly take to mean her room in the hotel (it was a hotel wedding).

You don’t have to be a mind-reader or a psychic to predict what happened next. He continues:

I, of course, being a hormonal teenage boy (still am), jump at the opportunity and say yes. I should say this wasn’t my first time or anything and by this point I carried condoms around in my wallet when I went out and knew I would be drinking.

So we proceed to discreetly (or so I think) take our leave. Both drunk, obviously, but not to the point of not being in control of our actions, or stumbling around/blackout etc. I get to her room, a bit of excited talk, and clothes come off. All is going well. Now, I should say that all this time I’m assuming this girl is a relative (or perhaps friend?) of the bride. Oh boy. I was in for a shock. Because, as it turns out, she thought the same of me.

As we were ‘cleaning up’, so to speak, we begin a little small-talk when before had mostly just been purely sexual. She eventually asks how I know the bride (let us call her Emma). I stop. Thunderstruck. The realisation slowly creeping up on me and oh, the horror. I laugh it off (hoping, in vain) she is joking and state I am the son of (insert mothers name). The shock is palpable on who I then realised as my cousins face as she was putting her bra back on. She sort of freaks out and says she’s the estranged daughter of one of my uncles who’s had a troubled life, whom she had very recently reconnected with (I did not know this). We essentially collectively let out a ‘fuckkkkk’.

How I would respond if I just learned I accidentally boinked one of my family members. Yes, I said boinked. That’s how upsetting this story is.

But at least no one ever found out about what happened between them…..SIKE. The story somehow gets even worse:

From there we got dressed quickly and decided to never reveal this major cock-up to a soul and hope to God we had not been noticed (alas). We decided it would be best if she were to leave first, and that I would follow around 5-10 minutes later.

Well I do. She leaves first, and I just kind of stand around in the hallway on my phone freaking out for a short while until I decide enough time has passed to erode suspicion.

Well, first thing I see when I get down is the look of pure disappointment on my mothers face, the stupid fucking grin on my fathers and half my cousins faces and my sister looking in disgust, as though she was watching a particularly repulsive sea-slug. One of my cousins whom I am close to pats me on the back, shaking his head and laughing his absolute head off. I know I am defeated then and quietly take a seat expecting the utter bollocking I will later receive from my family. My elderly 90 year old grandmother was there for fucks sake. And word was not quiet. I didn’t see Isla or her father again that reception and later found out she told him and he took her home, not to the hotel she had booked, by way of taxi.

So yeah. I accidentally took part in (protected, thank-God) incest. It is brought up at every, and I mean every, family-gathering. A couple of my cousins have taken to playing ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ and asking when the next date is whenever I enter the room.

After (soberly) explaining to my parents it was an accident and I fully believed she was not a relative (like they should have questioned it) they were okay-ish with it, but still disappointed and annoyed a little. My father asked me how I’d failed to notice Isla (apparently) sat literally the row behind us, and I had no answer. Gotta work on my observation skills I guess. Not only do my family still tease me, but my friends found out from my sister within days and I’ve been relentlessly teased by them at most social gatherings since. You can imagine how many cousin/incest/alabama jokes daily.

I am ashamed to this day. Even more so because she is an objectively attractive woman. As one might imagine, the limited interactions we’ve had since have been extremely strained and awkward, not helped by my dickhead cousins. There is another big family wedding coming up this summer, and since the announcement ‘the incident’ as it’s come to be known as has been all that’s been discussed within my hearing.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed that rollercoaster. If you have any questions feel free, and once again, do forgive the surely egregious formatting as I am just popping my Reddit virginity with this story, which I’ve been encouraged to (anonymously) post online by friends so as to make you all laugh as much as them.

TL;DR I had sex with my uncles estranged daughter at a family wedding my first time meeting her. Everybody in the (large family) knew then, and now, and will never let me live this down.

And the moral of this horror story is: Always, always, always take a 23 And Me test before hooking up with someone you met at a family wedding, or a non-family wedding—or, just to be safe, anywhere. You know what, actually? Never sleep with someone again. Just to be safe.

LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE. The End.

 

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Handful of Dates – Part 3

Three Sleep

Now some girls are not looking for a committed relationship. I see all the time in subreddits askmen, seduction, relationship, relationship_advice about girls that want to get with a guy they like without being in a relationship. I have on a few occasions where I been invited over late at night to their place as a first date. After this girl and I hooked up at her place I wanted to go to the bathroom to throw the condom away and clean up. It was a one bedroom apartment and the one bathroom was in the bedroom. We had sex in the living room. She had mentioned she had a kid. When I entered the bedroom she had three kids sleeping on a queen bed together. I pretended not to notice. I then go into the kitchen to get some water and saw mail sitting on counter from child services and the state, turns out she was a welfare mom with three kids from two different guys. She was also only 23. She had told me she was a supervisor for a company and had one kid. Like many of these stereotypical people she also had an iPhone, watches, jewelry, nice lingerie, but was also receiving food stamps.

 

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6 Ways To End A Sex Drought

When it rains, it pours.

You hear it all the time, and the implication, of course, is that there’s also a flipside: When it’s dry, it’s dry for ages. This is especially true when it comes to sex. Often it feels like the only thing you need to get a guy’s attention is another guy’s attention. Conversely, when it’s been awhile since you’ve done, ahem, the deed, it can feel like it’ll never happen again. Which, of course, it will. It’s only a matter of time. After the jump, for your reading pleasure, a list of helpful tips to get the ol’ ball rolling again. By which I mean: LET’S GET YOU LAID. It’s been too long.

1. Maintain realistic expectations. First things first: Stop looking for your future husband. We’re not out to find you Mr. Perfect, we’re looking to get you laid. Find someone to whom you’re attracted, someone you think is a decent guy. That’s all. You don’t need identical value systems, you don’t have to be on the same page about kids, you don’t need to worry if he’s unemployed. Here’s your one and only guiding line: “I’m looking for someone attractive and kind. I’m going forth. And conquering.”

2. Embrace casual sex. It’s 2019, my darlings. Let go — if you haven’t all ready — of the double standards put upon women who have casual sex. If you want it, have it. (And safely, of course.) Put all your energy into enjoying yourself (and kicking idiotic terms like “slut” to the curb).

3. Travel. Now, when I say travel, I’m talking as big or small as you want to go. Travel to the new bar that’s 20 minutes from your home instead of 10. Travel to that resort you keep meaning to check out that’s two hours away. Travel across the country. Go to Europe, for god’s sake! Put yourself in a situation that lets you be the new girl. It’s not just that you’re meeting new people — it’s that on levels both conscious and not, you’re expanding your mind and broadening your horizons, and all those sorts of things will create a new level of openness that will only have a positive effect. Are we talking Break-a-Budget-That-You-Can’t-Afford? No. We’re talking figure out what you can afford, and spend it on new sights and experiences.

4. Use Facebook or Twitter to your advantage. We need to make sure people know you’re single and looking. So start using those status updates to just that sort of positive effect! Wait for an instance wherein you’re in a zone of loving your single-dom, e.g. you’re glammed-up and out with your gal pals, and post a tweet or status update wherein you bravely address it. I’m talking something in the spirit of, “The single gals at the restaurant are always the ones laughing the hardest!” In short, don’t be afraid to speak of your single-dom in an online setting. It serves you well to embrace, announce, and relish the status just as often as you can.

5. Tell the elderly. Listen: I’ve gotten more dates from keeping the elderly abreast of my single-gal status than pretty much anywhere else. I swear! I’m talking my grandmother, my grandmother’s friends, and various elderly neighbors. These women have been around a long time, they’ve got a wide network, and they spend a decent portion of their day chitting and chatting with friends. Here’s a group that loves — and I mean loves – to match-make.  They’re just the types you want looking out for you and your cause. The other thing is, and I know this is a broad generalization, but I have personally seen it proven time and again: These women tend to know The Nice Guys, — i.e., your Grandma’s BFF Agnes isn’t going to set you up with Mr. Rude Bartender. No. She’ll set you up with so-and-so’s son who went to overnight camp with her daughter’s daughter 20 years back, a guy who works presently with, oh I don’t know, web content. So the next time these women of a certain age approach you, slow down, settle in, and share your story!

6. Get out of the house! Arguably the most obvious of the points, but just as a healthy and helpful reminder: Your home is for having sex. Not finding sex. Take a moment and consider how many of your mundane, daily activities could be moved to various areas that get just a wee bit more foot traffic than your couch. For example, if you read your paper in the morning at your kitchen table, perhaps get in the habit of reading it over coffee at your local coffee shop. If, in the evening, you love whiling away the hours on the internet, maybe do so on your iPad at your local bar. What I’m saying is, it helps to be available for someone other than a Peeping Tom.

 

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Arielle – Part 1

NSFW! Do Not Read this one at Work. It’s Filthy but all true!

Here’s a memory from Cali I absolutely love. Here I am in my band Haightwayten, rocking out whenever we can on the strip, and just living the dream in L.A. in the early eighties. I was working as a cashier and then they taught me how to be a cook at a really cool bar and grill in Santa Monica.

I couldn’t make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before I moved out of my parents house in ’82 but I learned so much going out in the world. I found that I loved to cook and have become and expert at cooking dinner for anybody I care about in my life.

When I got divorced from my wife in 2001 the one things she said she’d miss was my cooking.

She married another guy that was also deadly behind the grill but she destroyed that relationship too and now he’s back in Phoenix Az and hopefully happy to be away from her.

Anyway… It was 1982, and I was living in Santa Monica and rocking out and doing my thing. A friend of mine from the restaurant I worked for asked if I’d house sit for them while they were away in Vegas.

I of course agreed and it was easy money for me and I could just hang at their place in Brentwood for a week. Their house was gorgeous and I was honored that they trusted me with their place. They had a pool and I figured I could just hang and play guitar and work on songs while I was there.

I was sitting by the pool one day, just chilling. I was I think 19 at the time. I was just jamming on the acoustic and sipping a margarita.

The pool area was super private. As it should be. The place is secured and nobody is coming to see anybody in the pool area.

I was just soaking up the California rays and chilling when a pretty girl entered the heavely fenced area. She opened the gate cautiously and was surprised to see not the owners but a lean, blonde long haired guitarist sitting on one of the lounge chairs banging out some chords.

I wasn’t expecting anyone, so I was naturally surprised. I just wanted to drink, jam, and take a few dips in the pool to kill time. It actually felt good to be away from the band to be alone and create some new songs.

Well apparently their neighbor Arielle always came over and got to use their pool. She was surprised to see the tan shaggy haired guitar player sitting by the pool instead of her neighbors.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Who are you?”

“Umm… I’m Arielle. I live next door. The Williams let me swim in their pool. I’m sorry is it okay?”

“I’m Chaz. I work with Shane at Merlin’s. They’re in Vegas this weekend and asked that I hang here.

She approached me. I don’t know how old this girl was when this all transpired. Arielle was only a bit over 5 feet tall. Dark hair, tan and very petite and fit. She was lovely. I feel that I should leave age out of this because it was 40 years ago, and I still don’t remember because I was a kid at the time when I think about it.

Maybe 16 or 17.  But I don’t remember. It was a long time ago.

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Chaz. They let me swim in their pool whenever I want. Is that okay today. Cause if it’s not I get it.”

“No go ahead.”

She was smoking hot and I don’t give a shit. It’s not my pool and I get to jam on my guitar and just met this baby.

Arielle placed her towel down and quickly jumped into the pool. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she swam back and forth and dove in and out of the pool. After a little while Arielle got out and laid down on her towel to to work on her tan. She was already nice and tan from her summer of swimming.

I looked at her carefully as she laid on her stomach with her head turned to the side. I examined every inch of her body. Her cute little toes and her nice tan muscular legs. Her butt was nice and round and her chest was pressed against the pool deck with her hair laying across her back and neck.

At 19 and being the fucker I was back then I decided to run the program.

“Did you put any sunscreen on Arielle?” I asked her. “No I couldn’t find some” she replied, and added “My parents went out of town for the weekend” and I think they took it with them. My mind began to work overtime as I imagined this sweet young girl left without any adult supervision.

“I have some here if you want to use it” I offered as I walked over to her. “Thanks” she replied. Taking it from my hands. She put some on her hands and then I offered to help her out. “Can I help you and get your back?”

“Yes” she replied.

 

 

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Sildenafil Citrate

Viagra Makes History

Viagra (sildenafil) is one of the most widely-known prescription drug names on the U.S. market. Often dubbed “the little blue pill”, Viagra (sildenafil) was the first phosphodiesterase 5 (PDE5) inhibitor approved to treat erectile dysfunction (ED). ED is a common sexual problem for men and its frequency increases with age.

It is estimated roughly 30 million men in the U.S. and over 100 million men worldwide suffer from ED. A large U.S. survey determined about 50 percent of men 40 to 70 years of age experience some degree of ED.

 

The Unexpected Discovery of Viagra

The discovery that sildenafil could lead to an erection was an unplanned event. The sildenafil compound was originally developed by Pfizer for the treatment of hypertension (high blood pressure) and angina pectoris (chest pain due to heart disease). During the heart clinical trials, researchers discovered that the drug was more effective at inducing erections than treating angina. Pfizer realized ED was an unmet medical need and a major opportunity for financial gain.

In 1998, the FDA approved Viagra, the first oral treatment for erectile dysfunction, under a priority review.

 

Quick Success: The FDA-Approval of Viagra

At the time of its approval, Viagra had the fastest initial sales growth following its launch of any prescription product, reaching 2008 sales of close to $2 billion. Pfizer promoted Viagra and ED awareness via direct-to-consumer (DTC) advertising, which prompted men to seek medical advice and a prescription from their doctors.

For many men, the stigma and embarrassment of talking to their doctor about ED has declined since the introduction of Viagra and other PDE5 inhibitors.

 

The Impact of Erectile Dysfunction (ED)

ED, or the inability to achieve and maintain an erect penis for sexual function, can lead to performance anxiety, a negative impact on self-esteem and personal relationships, and even clinical depression.

In a survey published in BMJ, 62 percent of men reported a decline in self esteem, 29 percent reported a negative effect on a relationship, and 21 percent reported that their relationship had ceased due to ED. For many men, the inability to perform adequately during sex directly affects their feelings of masculinity.

 

What Causes ED?

Age alone is not a risk factor for ED, but underlying health issues such as diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, high cholesterol, chronic alcohol or drug abuse, certain medications, and injuries can lead to impotence. Any condition that may restrict blood flow to veins over time, like smoking, can lead to ED.

Medical conditions like Parkinson’s disease or Peyronie’s disease (scar tissue build-up in the penis) may cause ED. Mental health issues can take their toll, too–depression or stress can result in loss of libido. Erection failures may occur repeatedly in men who experience performance anxiety due to ED.

 

Which Medications Cause ED?

Many medications have impotence or sexual dysfunction listed as a side effect. A medication review should be performed by a health care provider to determine if any prescription drug treatment may be contributing to symptoms. Medications such as antidepressants, blood pressure drugs, certain antihistamines, antipsychotics, drugs used for benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH), and anti-HIV drugs may lead to ED.

If you regularly experience sexual function or ED problems, contact your doctor for evaluation and treatment.

 

Just the Basic Facts: How Viagra Works

Viagra works in response to sexual stimulation to increase the blood flow to the penis leading to an erection. Viagra does not result in an erection without sexual stimulation. When a man is aroused, muscles in the penis relax to allow this greater blood flow. Viagra helps to elevate the levels of a substance that causes the tissues to relax.

Viagra and other PDE5 inhibitors like Cialis, Levitra, Stendra and Staxyn treat ED, but do not directly increase a man’s sexual desire. However, knowing that one can perform better in bed may indirectly boost libido.

 

What’s the Safest Way to Take Viagra?

Viagra (sildenafil) is taken by mouth usually as a 25 or 50 milligram (mg) tablet one hour before sexual activity. However, Viagra may be taken within a range of one-half hour to four hours before sex. The dose may be adjusted based on doctor recommendations, but it should not exceed 100 mg per dose or be taken more than once per day. A physician will prescribe your specific dose.

Have your pharmacist check for drug interactions, too. Men who use nitrates (such as nitroglycerin or isosorbide) should never use Viagra or other PDE5 inhibitors (Cialis, Levitra, Stenda, or Staxyn) due to severe, possibly fatal hypotension (low blood pressure).

 

Does Viagra Have Side Effects?

In general, the most common side effects with PDE5 inhibitors like Viagra are mild and short-lived. Headache, flushing, heartburn, vision problems, nausea, and dizziness may occur. Report a sudden hearing or vision loss to your healthcare provider immediately. An erection lasting more then 4 hours (priapism) is a rare event, but if it occurs get emergency treatment.

Be sure to review Viagra drug interactions and precautions with your healthcare provider prior to use. Your dose of Viagra may need to be adjusted based on other drugs you may be taking.

 

Other Options for Erectile Dysfunction

The simplicity of taking an oral tablet for ED has revolutionized ED treatment. However, PDE5 inhibitors may not work in about 30 percent of men. It is important for men to know that there are other options are available for ED. Penile self-injection (Caverject), transurethral suppositories (MUSE), vacuum-assisted erection devices, and surgical penile prostheses are solutions that were used prior to Viagra, and are still available today.

These options may be useful for some; however, for many men they can be complicated, painful, and more expensive. Be sure to talk to your doctor about all options.

 

What is Low T?

Media advertising has dramatically, and sometimes sensationally, increased the awareness of “Low-T” or low blood testosterone (also called androgen deficiency). Typically, a man’s testosterone level is considered low if it’s below 300 nanograms/deciliter. Men with low blood testosterone levels may suffer from a lower sex drive, erectile dysfunction (ED), brittle bones (osteoporosis), low muscle mass and higher fat accumulation. However, a recent study noted that testosterone therapy is not an appropriate therapy to treat ED without other symptoms of low T.

Testosterone therapy, whether it be by injection, gel, skin patch, spray or lozenge is the usual treatment to raise testosterone levels, but this is not always done in men over 60 years. Experts have stated that testosterone replacement could increase the risk of heart attacks and strokes in some men. Plus, older men who take testosterone replacements will need to have regular prostate cancer screening tests.

 

Viagra: But at What Cost?

Many insurance companies will not pay for Viagra anymore. This may be one reason why consumers turn to Internet purchase. But much of the advertised Viagra on the Internet is counterfeit, and may even contain dangerous and toxic drugs. To help combat the counterfeit market, Pfizer now offers online Viagra prescription orders and home delivery through licensed pharmacies. Just check put their website at Viagra.com or call Call 1-888-4-VIAGRA (1-888-484-2472).

Another option is to talk to your doctor about using the generic form of Revatio (sildenafil), approved for pulmonary hypertension. It’s the same drug that’s in Viagra, just at a slight lower dose. Just like Viagra, you’ll need a prescription, but the cost savings are significant. Generic Viagra isn’t expected to hit the US market until December 2017.

 

Counterfeit Viagra: A Dangerous Practice

Viagra has become the victim of Internet fraud due to its rapid success and famous name. According to Pfizer, 80 percent of the top 22 Internet sites that came up in search results for the phrase “buy Viagra” were selling counterfeit pills.

Products sold as “natural” or “herbal” Viagra claim to enhance performance; however, these illegal products have not undergone FDA review or approval. Fraudulent Viagra products contain unknown chemical ingredients that may pose a serious health risk.

 

Will Viagra Be Approved For Women?

More than 50 million women experience some type of sexual dysfunction. Studies looking at Viagra in women have theorized that sildenafil could increase genital blood flow and boost arousal. However, most studies have found a limited beneficial effect of Viagra for women. Lack of sex drive in a woman is a complicated process, often magnified by stress, hormonal changes, or lack of intimacy.

However, medications to help boost libido in women are becoming available. Addyi (flibanserin) was approved in August 2015 to treat low sex drive — generalized hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) in pre-menopausal women. Osphena (ospemifene), as well as Intrarosa (prasterone) are available for vaginal dryness and dyspareunia (painful intercourse) that can interfere with sex in menopausal women.

 

When Where There Be a Generic Viagra?

At least one generic PDE5 inhibitor will be available in December 2017, when sildenafil (generic Viagra) becomes available from Teva Pharmaceuticals. However, Teva will be the only manufacturer distributing generic Viagra until 2020, and it’s generic price is not yet known. Other generic PDE5 inhibitors should be on the market around this same time, in 2017 or 2018, when Levitra and Cialis are projected to lose patent.

In 2015, many insurance companies stopped covering payments for several PDE5 inhibitors, but there still may be at least one on their formulary, so check with your insurance directly to determine price.

 

 

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