Vampirella #12 – July 1971 – Part 2

It was a Sunday in July, 1971. I was 8 years old about to turn 9 in August. Back then we lived in Northeast Philadelphia in a neighborhood called Lawndale. On Sunday my father would take me and my sister Janice to a bookstore called Brad Allen’s in the next town over. I don’t really remember why we went to that particular bookstore, but the main reason was so my father could get the New York Times. My dad read the Sunday times for as long as I can remember. Without fail he would get that paper every Sunday.

So sometimes he’d take me and Janice with him. Maybe it was just to spend some time with us and give my mother a break.

My parent’s would probably turn you down if you wanted a toy, but they’d normally say yes to a book. When we would go to Brad Allen’s my dad would usually let us each get a comic book or something.

For the life of me I can’t remember a single other comic book that my dad got me at that store. I kind of remember him letting me get some little digest sized books about insects and mammals, but other than that, zip.

But Vampirella #12 holds a very significant, almost watershed moment in my life for me. Technically it wasn’t a comic book. It was the size of a magazine. It cost fifty cents.(Comics at that time cost fifteen cents) The comics inside this magazine were in black and white and for a little older reader.

I just thought the cover looked cool with the creepy looking vampire dude, holding the lady. This is a classic scene in any old horror movie.

When we got home, I started reading it. The first story was about Vampirella. The artwork was solid but I wasn’t thrilled with the story. But the next one was ‘the one’. It was entitled, “The Eye of Ozirios.” It was about this warrior queen named Amazonia from a land called Karkassone, who after this evil Baron and his minions kill a bunch of villagers and kidnap their women, she takes it upon herself to stop him. Armed only with a magical sword she leaves her palace to get some payback.

She’s a hot blonde queen this Amazonia. She goes to the bad guy’s palace and starts shredding the scenery. Slicing limbs, chopping off heads, stabbing hordes of bad dudes. Her steel blade drinks deep from many a man’s flesh.

The interesting thing that lends itself to this story, is that over the course of three pages and all of this violence, Amazonia’s clothes are starting to shred and come off. The metal breast plates and mail tunic are gone and she’s naked from the waist up.

She fights hard and kills many of them, but alas is eventually disarmed and captured.

By this time she’s just down to a white rag hanging around her waist that barely covers her buttocks and pubis. She’s shackled and then tied to an X shaped wooden cross. She’s to be sacrificed to The Eye of Ozirios.

Eventually Amazonia escapes and destroys the eye by throwing a sword into it. Once it’s destroyed whatever comes out of it kills all of the bad guys and then turns them to dust. Our girl, still wearing only what could be compared to a torn handkerchief for a bottom, walks bare breasted back to her city.

So let’s review: Hot blonde queen. Great body. Loads of violence. Clothes being torn off. Nudity. Domination. Humiliation. Bondage and Sacrifice.

That’s a lot of sexual imagery for an 8 year old boy. But he doesn’t know that. It’s just a crazy barbarian story and he loves reading stuff about barbarians, broadswords and monsters.

But while reading this particular story I got an erection.

First of all, let’s look at the science.

Boys get erections all the time. According to specialists erections in kids is not uncommon and is not a cause for concern.

The causes? Often early erections come for no reason at all. According to specialists, they are most probably just uncontrolled reactions, like startling or gripping, and simply indicate that the child’s nervous system is working properly. Erection could also mean that the boy’s bladder is full and he “needs to urinate”. In younger boys mild constipation can cause intermittent erections that are not painful and the problem resolves immediately.

How to handle child erections? We all know that babies are curious, eager to learn more about themselves and the world. Child erections are part of his attempts to get to know his own body. Although they may make you feel embarrassed, it’s important to handle these situations with utmost attentiveness and tact.
You mustn’t make the boy feel ashamed, as if he is doing something dirty. Keep in mind that your behavior at these first stages will influence his sexual outlook and behavior in later years.
Try not to panic and don’t let the boy get over excited. You can put him in a cool bath and try to distract him until thing return to normal.

How kids are likely to react: Erections are very common in most young kids. They usually start in early childhood. Some kids find them pleasurable, but many feel uncomfortable when the erections are strong and last for a while. In such cases, as they are not accustomed to this kind of feeling, they sense something abnormal, so they complain or cry out in pain.

Basically boys get erections all of the time for no reason at all. It may just be the body running diagnostics on a part of the vessel that will need to work properly in the future.

I remember getting erections all of the time as a kid, and to be honest with you I remember it was just a physically uncomfortable feeling. Not stressful, or cause for alarm just something your body did occasionally. It didn’t last long and you forget all about it.

Because there’s nothing to sexually tie to it. You’re prepubescent. Your penis’ only function is liquid waste elimination.

But… I noticed that every time I read this comic magazine, (which contained other stories with naked women in them) I got an erection. So after a while getting an erection for me became a sense of arousal. I don’t think I had all of the facts of life yet, but my body was automatically responding to the visual stimuli.

Nudity wasn’t taboo in my house growing up as children. My parents weren’t hung up on all of the nonsense tied up in how the human body is dirty. I remember us all being cool with being naked when we were little kids. It was an honest healthy environment. But once puberty hits, the doors close and privacy is respected. It was just a natural transition.

So if anybody ever tells you some garbage about sexuality being a choice, walk away from that moron. It’s just biology and science and how you’re wired. I was predisposed to like girls more than boys. My brain and body were already wired to enjoy the sight of the female form.

So thank you Dad, for buying me Vampirella #12 back in ’71. It was the first glimpse of  understanding my own developing sexuality as a boy.

In a closing note, I will tell you I have a copy of the original Vampirella #12 framed in the hallway in my house. No one knows why that particular comic is framed, but now they do.

The lovely Vampirella! Her magnificent legs!

If you’d like to see what made me horny forty-five years ago, I found a link to an archive so you can take a look!

https://archive.org/details/warren-vampirella-012

Enjoy!

 

And finally, here’s a little video I found online. This girl’s a cute cosplay Vampirella. If she ever showed up at my house, I’d happily let her sink her fangs into my neck!

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am EST.

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Cherie – Chapter 5 – Be Careful What You Wish For – Part I

Don’t be a guy.

Be a man.

Saturday arrived. I woke up relatively early. Philly had periods of showers but the rain was supposed to stop around 1pm, so that was good. I didn’t want another rainy day date with Cherie. But actually I was looking forward to seeing her so the weather didn’t really matter.

I stopped by the salon to drop off some detergent and bring my friend Trish some fives for the register. She was hung over from a night of Jameson at Tattooed Mom’s with her friends on South Street. She stopped drinking alcohol about a year ago, because she said she didn’t like how she behaved on it. Said it made her angry. Trish is angry anyway and I can only imagine what a nightmare she is on booze. That’s probably part of the reason she can’t function without smoking marijuana everyday and drinking oceans of coffee just to get through the day. I’ll be writing a chapter about her in the near future but for now I’ll stick to the events of today.

I give Trish the fives and she hands me a twenty out of the register. I’m walking across the lobby to take a seat and chat with her for a bit when she says. You have a hole in the back of your pants. I’m like, “Stop checking out my sweet ass.”

“Seriously dude. You have a huge hole in your pants. Don’t you feel that?”

I reach back and sure enough, there is a pretty good-sized hole there.

“I didn’t want you going out on your date today with a big old hole in your pants, dude.”

I joke that maybe I could guide Cherie’s hand to it in the movie theater for some cheap thrills.

“It’s the 3rd date!”

“I hate that shit!”

I tell her I agree. I don’t know if you all know this but a lot of young people are under the impression that the 3rd date equals sex. Which I find stupid. In all seriousness I would rather get to know someone and if there is a mutual attraction, the sex should just happen as a celebration at some point. There should never be a deadline related to intercourse. That almost sounds predatory.

So I head back to my apartment to put on another pair of jeans. I grab a pair and realize I haven’t worn them in a while. Like two years. They are a 36 waist. I now wear a 32 waist, but can do a 34 with a belt. They’re just too big and I look ridiculous. I grab another pair. Another hole in the seat. What’s going on here? Did I wear out the seat of two pair of jeans? I know I see the occasional mouse here in the building but what sort of butt munching rodents do we have around here?

I find a pair that are in decent shape with no holes in the seat, and put them on. This will have to do. I go downstairs and summon an UBER. While driving down to Columbus Boulevard to the multiplex, I chat with my driver, Hanna. She asks me what movie I’m going to see. I tell her the lady I’m taking likes scary movies, so we’re seeing, ‘Ouija: Origin of Evil.’ Some how she gathers from our conversation that my date is younger than me. She asks, and I tell her she’s a little younger. She tells me about a male friend of hers, who is 50 something and was dating a woman in her 40’s and just wasn’t happy. He said that women his age were all carrying all the same baggage. He’s now dating a woman around 30 and says that younger women are just more fun. I say that I agree, but when you date younger women they all eventually want to get married and have kids.  She says that her friend is always up front about that sort of thing. Maybe I should have been clear about that in my last 3 failed relationships. And here I am being driven to what could possibly be a 4th similar destination.

She lets me out and I go into the lobby and get in line for tickets. The movie starts at 1:50 and it is now 1:30. I get the tickets and as I turn to wait for Cherie, she appears. On time. Early. I like that. It’s really nice to see her. Even though it’s only been four days since our last encounter.

Her hair is up in a bun, exposing her lovely slender neck. makes me think about how I kissed that neck on Tuesday. She’s wearing a yellow blouse, and light brown slacks. They cling to her shapely legs.

We are about to enter our auditorium and we notice the floor is really sticky. Someone must have spilled a soda there, and they tried to mop it up but didn’t get it all up. Now I’ve been to plenty of movie theaters in my time, and have jokes about the sticky stuff and detritus that is on the floor of the theaters, but this was really sticky. I had to laugh out loud. I practically had to curl my toes to keep my shoes from being pulled off by that sticky floor. Just a classic ‘out at the movies’ moment.

We go in and decide that we both like to sit in the back of the theater. I ask her if she wants anything to eat. I suggest some delicious buttery popcorn. She says it’s ok but doesn’t like how it can stick in your teeth. She says she likes chocolate, but not dark chocolate. I tell her I love dark chocolate. She smiles and knows what I mean. I really do prefer dark chocolate to milk chocolate, but I also love the color of her skin. I go and mortgage my house at the concession stand on exorbitantly expensive snacks. Medium popcorn, medium cherry coke, bottle of water, and a bag of snickers minis for baby. $21. The food was as much as the tickets. The kid behind the counter even told me I could upgrade to a large popcorn and a large soda for $.50 more. I compliment him on his up-sell, but politely decline.

I get back to Cherie. I get all of our snacks and drinks squared away and sit down. “How did you know I loved Snickers?” she asks. “Well I’m funny and you like to laugh, so I figured, Snickers. she smiles and we settle into the previews. There aren’t many people in the theater. I like that. There’s also no late arrivals and no one is sitting in front of us. I love that as well. People are getting seated and chattering a little but that’s acceptable during the previews. We’re whispering closely. Then we kiss. It’s really nice. I feel like a teenager. I haven’t smooched in a movie theater in years. It was so sweet to hold hands too. She rubbed my arm and caressed my hand, and I was even so bold as to rub her leg and knee. It was all very gentle and romantic. What a refreshing difference from the crap women I went on dates with a few months ago. But I’m really enjoying this elegant romantic odyssey.

There is one rub that I have to mention. It’s happened a few times since then. We call it the C-Block, or the CBs. Cherie and I are in the very back row of the theater. All the way in the aisle to the right against the wall. There is only one way out. Doesn’t some pair of fucknuts sit at the very end of the aisle? This couple just sort of drops it there. One row down would have been fine. But they are right now, in OUR aisle. They could have sat anywhere. There weren’t that many people in the theater. It’s just a human thing. Homo Sapiens are such social animals they have to be together all the time. I can tell Cherie doesn’t want them there and neither do I. But there’s nothing we can do. Nothing but make a bunch of trips to the snack bar and the bathrooms. This way we can thrust our delicious firm buttocks right in their stupid faces.

Oh, never mind. It’s just annoying, we just wanted some private time to neck in the back of the theater!

The movie was a pretty by the numbers horror flick. I’d give it a solid three and a half stars. Demon possession, scary children, and good sudden frights do make you jump. We shared the popcorn and the candy. It was lovely. I was happy to be there sharing this Halloween treat with her.

After the film, we went outside. The sun was out and the rain was gone. It had been warm during the week, but had suddenly turned chilly in the last couple of days. Cherie always has trouble finding a place to park in the city, but down by the movie theater there is always loads of parking spots. We walk over to her Saab, and hop in to get out of the chill. We’re chatting about our next move, (which I have already planned) and more kissing ensues. She tells me she was hoping I would agree to sit in the back of the theater so we could neck. It appears this girl really likes me. She says she likes how soft my hands are. It makes me think of Captain Quint when he grabs Matt Hooper’s hands in the film Jaws, and says “You’ve got city hands, Mr. Hooper, from counting money all your life!” That, and the scene in Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Men” when one of the men on the farm puts petroleum jelly in his one glove to keep is hand soft for when he touches his woman. I don’t know why my mind flashed to those two images but for a moment they do.

I suggest we go over to Dave and Buster’s to go play games together. She likes the idea. I will say this about my lovely neuroscience major. She is very bright and quick of wit, but extremely laid back and easy-going. She’s from California, and this chick is chill. I always compliment her about her sweet disposition, because I really like that about her. Peaceful is good. She tells me, that between her two jobs, going to class, and taking care of her son, she has to make many decisions every day. She says she likes how I take charge, and just tell her where we’re going and what time it’s happening. I always have a plan and take the lead. She finds that attractive. So take note male readers, many women like to be told what you’re doing with them and where you’re taking them. Women are great negotiators and communicators, but when it comes to picking a lunch spot, just tell them pizza or sushi or just take them somewhere they serve different stuff and go. I have to give thanks here to my late father in regard to the clock. If he told you something was going to happen, or we were going to be somewhere at a specific time, it happened without error. He taught me that your word is your bond, and always be punctual. Like Beau Bridges says to Michelle Pfieffer in The Fabulous Baker Boys, “Punctuality is the first rule of show business.” Life itself is like a giant long series. You’re the star of your own show. Make it a fun, exciting show if you can. To sum up: Girls like a take-charge man.

Don’t be a guy.

Be a man.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am EST.

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Yvonne – Ms. Im-Purr-fect

She climbed on top of me, removed her shirt and started rubbing her face and lips on me.

After chatting with Yvonne on Tinder and thinking this girl I met was normal for an extended period of time, I decided to take her out on a date.

We met at the stores inside of Two Liberty. I thought she was attractive in a girlish sort of way. Dark brown hair. Nearly black. Lean fit body and long, slender legs. Somewhere on the right side of twenty-five. She seemed to like what she saw in me. After looking through a few stores, she grabbed my hand and asked if I wanted something to eat and drink. We then went to the food court where she told me to order anything I wanted. I ordered a sandwich and soda. I asked her what she was having and she said, “half of yours.”
I have learned to share, but I don’t like that answer.

With that said, we proceeded to share our sandwich. At one point she looked over and me and said “meooooow-meoooww” and winked. Not knowing what that meant, I just ignored it. She meowed at me a total of about 5 times during the date. One time I meowed back and then realized how weird this was. I asked her about it and she said she would explain later.

The whole evening she was making cat noises. I shit you not. Cat noises. Now I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and maybe she was nervous or drunk. She seemed like she had been drinking or doing something before our date.

The date went okay, despite the obvious feline weirdness. But the very next morning she sends me a text with a cat emoji and the word ‘meow’. I even ignored that and we dated one more time. (because she had lovely legs) Not only did the cat noises continue but she climbed on top of me at my apartment, removed her shirt and starting rubbing her face and lips on me while doing the cat noises.

I then told her it was getting late. I told her I would walk her to the UBER. Once at the car she looked at me, said “meow” again and proceeded to nuzzle against my shoulder like a cat would do. She quickly went from shoulder to chest, and looked up and purred and proclaimed “Me want to be your kitty. Kitty likes you”.

My answer to this was “Huh? Are you kidding me?”

“Kitty wants head scratched,” she replied.

Against my better judgment, I scratched her head and she said “Kitty wants to go home with you every night”.

I replied “Okay, kitten, play time is over.”

We then said goodbye.

She was extremely attractive, so being the idiot I was I went out with her again. (I do love cats. Even the two-legged variety!)

She was a submissive, so she basically asked me to control her in public in exchange for more whiskey (obviously I obliged). We ended up going to her apartment together where I discovered she had 5 cats that all had human names. She baby-talked to all of them, and they were super possessive of her, to the point of slamming themselves against her bedroom door trying to get in when we were in bed together. I soldiered through some awkward sex, She gave me a cat charm, and I ran the hell out of there the next morning.

When I got home, she left me a voicemail message asking to see me again. I replied via text that I didn’t think we were a good match.

She replied “Is that because you know I’m better looking than you? I mean, I’m at least a 9 and if you were thinner you would be a 7.”

I replied “Yes, that’s the reason.”  I then blocked kitten’s phone, text and email.

I hope she found a nice warm home with a clean litter box, and lots of treats!

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am EST.

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Sun Stories – Athena – 2017 – Sun Luvin’ Lady – Part 2

“Her nipples are as hard as bullets and pushing against through her orange top. I love her more now.”

Two days later, I was working on a Saturday for Trish.  (See: Trish 2012 to Present – The She Wolf) Normally I never work on a Saturday, and Friday I had worked open to close, but my buddy Johnny (See: Johnny R. 2011 to Present – Needle in the Groove) wasn’t able to come into the city for the South Street Spring Festival this year. We usually go to that every year and day drink our faces off, and then watch the Kentucky Derby at Twisted Tail, and do shots of bourbon. Then probably go to the Gold Club for vice.

But I send him the event and he tells me he has to attend his nieces’ graduation from college. Who has to do that? I didn’t ever get to see my nieces an nephews graduations. I didn’t want to. They’re great kids, but let my sister and brother-in-law suck that up. They paid for it. I’m just glad the kids grew up right. I don’t need to go there. But I’m sure there is some obligatory attendance in his family. Whatever.

I was talking to Trish, who is fed up with working Saturdays anyway, and told her I’d do it if she wanted the time off. She leaped at that and proceeded to go out to a nightclub with her hot friends.

I came in early and ran my weekend ritual. Go out to breakfast somewhere and then go to Wawa and pick up food to graze on all day. I’ll be fine. I like to work.

I’m running the program and it’s a gentle Saturday. I’m not getting killed, and the clients are sweet and steady.

I’m standing there at one of the computers writing a blog about a homeless guy I know who I like, and then suddenly Athena appears.

“Hi! What’s my name?” she says as she marches up to the counter.

I am so happy to see her. I didn’t think I’d ever see her again.  “You’re Athena Tran.”

“Yes! how are you?”

“I’m good!”

I am so happy to see her without Jan, because she’s my favorite. I have no idea why she has somehow appeared before me.

“I love the tanning thing!”

“Well, you look great.”

“I know, right? I love it!”

Athena is wearing a tight orange lycra top and black lycra leggings and running shoes.  She looks lovely.

“What brings you to me, Athena without Jan today?”

“I want another 5 pack. I’m going to tan more.”

“Okay. We can do that. Thanks for coming back to us.”

I’m super happy to see her.

“Yea, I love tanning and I want to keep going.”

“How is your Saturday going?”

“It’s going great! I’ve just been running all over the city.”

I see that her nipples are as hard as bullets and pushing against through her orange top. I love her more now. I’m a leg man but nipples jutting through a garment are number two for me.  They are glorious. She seems oblivious and I can’t help but enjoy. She’s the sweetest thing but her nipples look like pretzel bites that are begging to be devoured.  I love that she’s taking time to talk to me and I ask her about date number three with fucking asshole.

I wish I was that date. I would have treated her like a queen and romanced her appropriately, and if she felt like sex we could have celebrated at the bat cave.

Her nipples were so hard and prominent that I can’t believe she can’t  see the shadows on the counter and cover those finger long nips up.

She tells me that the date was nice and she got really drunk.  I thought at that moment she had parted her caramel thighs and this Romeo split her like a ripe melon. (It’s a dating blog. I’m trying to bring the most out of it that I can)  They are like rock hard bullets.  I love her even more now.  This is classic phicklephilly. The best stuff on here is unrequited love. Watching me fail and get up again is what I do. But I love this bird and I’ll do my best by her even if I am just a mentor.

Can she just turn off those glorious nipples for a second so I can focus?  No dice. I send Athena into a stand up bed imagining those award-winning nipples being grazed by 230 watts of sunlight. I hate my life.  I’m a little ashamed by my feelings for this lovely girl, but she has already told me that she is a sexual being. I hope Christmas plays out for her and date number three guy, but she has to find her way. I would take good care of her and meet her needs and any anxiety about any of that has already been paid.  Are her nipples pissed off at me? It’s like they’re trying to rip through her top. After her conversation with me about sex, and about when to do it has lit me up. I want to be with her. She’s a great girl. None of this is going to happen, but it’s fun to dream.  Athena got plowed with alcohol on her third date with her boy and I just figured her thighs went their separate ways.  But she said no.  She said she read him the drunken riot act and told him that her virtue has value and she won’t give it up and wants to get to know him.  I rejoiced in his information. I don’t want my little Athena to be turned into a stupid second date whore. Big step! I do feel sorry that she released her gold too early to worthless boys. but now she’ll cherish her maidenhood and hopefully be a bit more respectful of her virtue. Where the fuck was her dad through all of this?  Fathers make or break a family. If dad blows it with his daughters it’s a huge mistake.

The next time she came in she told me she had sex with her guy. She said they aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend but they are exclusive. (What the fuck?) So she gave up her horny gold to this guy in a little over two weeks.

Hope he makes it.

 

Update: Apparently he has made it and things are going well between them. She thanks me for all of my solid advice. (Shouldn’t her parents have taught her all of this?) She tells me that she’s reading a book called, “Why Men Marry Bitches.” She says it’s a handbook for “good girls” to navigate the world.

Whatever.

Update 2: I heard from her friend Jen that Athena has left the hospital she was working in and is going back to South Korea with her mother! So I’m sure it’s done with the boyfriend. Why would anyone ever want to go back to South Korea?

So the Athena story ends right here. Maybe I’ll have Jen tell her that I was her secret admirer!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish Monday through Friday at 8am EST.

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Sun Stories – Athena – 2017 – Sun Luvin’ Lady – Part 1

“What date is appropriate to have sex on?”

I wanted to say, “The one I take you on tonight.” But I didn’t.

I was working at the salon when I met Athena.  There was another Asian girl that worked at a local hospital that came in here that was very sweet. Her name was Jan. We took good care of her so she brought in her friend Athena the next time she came in.

Athena is a cute 24 year old Korean girl that works in fundraising at the same hospital. She’s an administrative assistant to the Medicine Department, and joined the Office of Institutional Advancement in 2015. She earned a Bachelor of Arts in strategic communication with a concentration in public relations from Temple University.

I immediately took a liking to Athena. She was very sweet and nice to talk to. She bought a 5 package of tans just to try it out.

The first time she came in she was wearing a baseball cap and a striped shirt and I think sweat pants. Just a your basic outfit. We take photos of all new clients for identification. I do this thing where if it’s a guy or the girl isn’t hot I just take the photo when they’re filling out the consent paperwork.  They’re normally not even looking at the camera and don’t even know we’re taking their picture.

But if the girl is cute, I’ll say “Look here.” and tap the camera and they always pose and smile. I just like the idea of making a cute girl stop and smile for my camera. Athena is cute, but we were busy and I just sort of half did it.

I chatted with her and Jan a little bit and talked about tanning. I think more Asian girls are doing it now. I kind of don’t know why. Asian women have lovely creamy colored skin to begin with.

The next time I saw Athena she came in with Jan they were all dressed up. Some time had passed and Athena was very tan and looked even more beautiful to me. She wore a black blouse with a pretty ornate necklace. Her skirt was black and white and very full. Like one of those kinds that would fan out if she twirled. The hemline was conservative and fell mid calf.

I complimented her on how pretty she looked and how gorgeous her tan was.  I told her how different she looked from the day she came in. I told her to come look at the photo of her on our system. She was like, “Oh my God I look so frumpy in that cap!”

“No you don’t. You were just being casual. Do you want to do a re-do?”

“Can I do that?”

“I only do that for the girls I think are pretty and that I like.”

“Take my picture!”

“We’ll call this the “After” photo.”

She giggles and smiles pretty for the camera and I tell her to hold still and snap the photo. I invite her around the counter to see it.

“Oh much better!. Thank you.”

“Why all dressed up tonight?”

“I’m going on a date.”

“Oh nice!” (jealous)

“Where did you meet him?”

“Tinder.”

“Oh cool.” (jealous)

“Yea, third date.”

“Oh so it must be going well. He must be nice.” (I hate this asshole)

“Yea. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What date is appropriate to have sex on?”

I wanted to say, “The one I take you on tonight.” But I didn’t.

“Well certainly not the third date! That’s a crazy myth. Sex should be a celebration between two people that love each other and want to celebrate that love by sharing their sole and most precious possession.” (Bold faced lie)

“Well women want it like men do.”

“You should wait. You should never just give it up too early. Christmas is awesome because you have to wait all year long for it, That’s why it’s so great when you’re a kid.”

“That’s funny!”

“You’re the woman. You have what a man wants. Make him work for it, be a gentleman, and give it time to see if you two are a good match before considering giving up your gold.”

“You’re right. I’ve had sex with guys on the second date and they never called me up again.”

(God, I wish I were on a second date with Athena right now.) I’m shocked she’s telling me all this and Summer is over at the counter listening to all of this thinking the chick is just an idiot. I’m just finding Athena more attractive now that she’s talking about her sexual desire.

Come on, I write a dating blog. I love this shit.

Athena is a Scorpio. Now I know that doesn’t mean much but I thought I’d add this for some added color.

What it’s Like to Date a Scorpio Woman:

Scorpio woman is very emotional, very demanding and very demonstrative. She is full of flair and intrigue, a fascinating woman that the strong A-type personality male will adore, for she presents the right amount of challenge with the right amount of rewards. The Scorpio woman is the ultimate seductive, flirtatious woman. She won’t give a man her heart very easily because she is weary of trusting another person. The man will have to go through a series of ‘mental testes’ in order for the relationship to get solid and close. She may not show it, but she wants a close committed relationship. Ion order for this, the man has to be trusted, has to be affectionate and never try to control her. She is very possessive but the Scorpio woman is so full of mystery, sensuality and passion that most men do not mind being possessed by her.

Scorpio Erogenous Zone:

The genitals are everybody’s erogenous zone but since the Scorpio is the most sexually charged of all zodiac signs, the genitals are extremely sensitive and will ignite a passionate fire that cannot be extinguished. Stroke and caress these areas lightly. There is no wrong way to stimulate this area, but be gentle.

Sex With Scorpio:

Sex with Scorpio is a total emotional and physical experience with passion and intensity. They have amazing stamina and can last all night long, round after round. Scorpio is the zodiac sign that is the most likely to act out a sexual fantasy. Most people will talk about it but the Scorpio will do it, they will fully throw themselves into the role. Do not suggest a fantasy to a Scorpio unless you plan to do it! Most Scorpios are direct and forceful and they seem to be an expert at what they do. They continue to seduce you even as the act continues. A thrilling experience not for the faint of heart!

Awesome, right?

So Athena and Jan leave and I realize that was Athena’s last tanning session. I may never see her again!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish Monday through Friday at 8am EST.

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Cherie – Chapter 2 – First Date – Part I

“How long have you been on Tinder?”

“Two weeks.”

“How many dates have you been on?”

“Just this one.”

“So out of everyone, you chose to drive all the way down from Pottstown in the rain to see me?”

“Yes.”

Cherie sends me a text in the morning to ask whether we are still on for brunch at 2pm. I like that she checked in. Normally I do that. So despite the: “Where is that at?” misstep and the fact that she didn’t just google it on her phone, she’s still on track. Bad grammar, bad manners, and lateness are hard points with me. (Thanks, Dad!) I tell her we’re good to go. That was at 12:30.

I get to Square around 1:30 just to have a drink and chat with the bartender. He makes me a drink I invented for the occasion. The Garden Rose. Sauvignon blanc, with a splash of Hendricks gin and as dash of honey on the rocks. Delish. At 1:40 I get a text: “Bad accident on 76. I’ll just be a few minutes late. Sorry.”

No problem. It’s a rainy Saturday, and anything can happen on the interstates in this city. I tell her to be careful driving and thank her for the update.

At 2:12 I get this text: “Trying to park.” I tell her that I am at a quiet table in the back. Brunch is officially over at 2:30 at Square. They switch over to a bar snacks menu while the kitchen preps for dinner. I remember this exact thing happening the last time I brought someone here for brunch. (See: Katsumi – Church Mess)

It’s now almost 2:30 and still no Cherie. I speak to my server and he checks in with the chef and they agree to hold brunch out for me until 2:40. I hate this. From now on, I vow never to schedule a 2pm brunch here ever again. No one can plan anymore, No one can build in that extra half hour into their trip if something goes wrong. Traffic, accident, weather, construction, detours. Build it into your schedule! But I do take it into account, that I leisurely walked about 5 blocks to get here. I don’t even know where she’s coming from. Since she’s driving I assume West Philly, or University City if she was on 76.

At 2:35 she approaches the table. (Whew!) She’s more attractive in person than in her photos. She has on a short close-fitting leather jacket, and an olive skirt and heels. I stand up of course to greet her. We do the quick perfunctory hug. We sit, and she apologizes for being late. All is forgiven. The server arrives and goes over a few things. I tell her we’re cutting it close and we should order. She goes for the grilled salmon salad. I order the breakfast plate. This will be my first real meal of the day.

A banana, a powerbar and some nuts don’t count as breakfast.

She tells me she struggled to find any parking nearby and based on the hour, she put her car in a nearby lot. She says she just drove down from Pottstown. That’s like 45 minutes away! In the rain too.

Again…all is forgiven. I ask her if she wants anything to drink, and she says she’s fine. While waiting for her, the server brought me a little bread with whipped herb butter so I’m good. I have my second drink in front of me. So I’m more than good. We engage in some getting to know you exchange. She was a little shy and quiet at first but then I quickly put her at ease with my witty repartee.

She’s originally from California. Military brat. Lived all over. Her Dad was a career military guy in the Navy. She has an older brother who’s also a Navy guy. His work is classified. He works in military intelligence. She has a younger sister who is two years behind her and is still a bit of a brat. I give her my family stats as well.

Brunch is served and everything looks great. I’m glad she’s impressed. As I said, the food and service here is wonderful. We dive a little deeper into our conversation. She goes to Temple and is majoring in Neuroscience. She’d like to work with children. So she would use her degree to help child neurological disorders. She also works 2 jobs. One at a hospital and the other at a pediatrician’s office. So not only is she getting her degree she’s already working in her field of endeavor.

I’m impressed.

She says she has a 6-year-old son. I do the math in my head. I’m normally not good at math but for some reason when it comes to age of consent numbers I’m lightning. That means she got pregnant at 19 and had her son at 20. She says she never married her son’s father. But they were together for 8 years. She said he was in his thirties when they met. I asked her how a 30 something year old meets a teenage girl. Not that I was fishing for tips.

“Was he driving by the High School one day and it was raining and you missed the bus?”

She laughed and said that she was shooting pool in a bar and so was he. I told her my last two girlfriends were 27 when I started dating them. She asked if I always date younger, and I told her I don’t go after women that age. “It just happens.” Which, for once is not a bold-faced lie. Cherie says she always liked older men. At that moment I am smiling inside because this is perfect. She likes older men, I like younger women. Universe is unfolding!

I ask her what happened to the relationship after 8 years. She said they became complacent. He finally cheated on her, she found out and was done with him. I asked her how long had they been done. She said 2 years. As of this writing I just realized something. If she is now 26 years old and the relationship has been over for 2 years, was she 16 going on 17 when he met her?  I can’t think about that right now.

I didn’t ask if he was a white or a black guy. I did ask where her son was right now. She said he was staying with his grandmother.

“Is your Mom watching him?”

She said no, her ex’s mother was watching him. I asked whether the boy’s father was a presence in his son’s life. She said some, but not enough.

That fucker. Children don’t ask to come here. We need to take good care of them. That’s a fact that I am not the slightest bit fickle about.

I asked if he had taken up with another younger woman. She said, that he was in his 40’s now and has a woman his own age in his life. Interesting.

Cherie also told me that she is bisexual. (Noted!)

She said when she was younger and in the clubs, she gravitated more to being with women. But in real life she is firmly ensconced in men. I told her I understood. There’s no black and white/straight or gay in this world. There is a vast grey area in between. Let’s face it, most girls I know are 3 martinis away from kissing another girl.

Just because I’ve installed a few ceiling fans in my life, doesn’t necessarily make me an electrician.

This is all very interesting conversation to me.

We’re getting along really well. We’re chatting, laughing, and I’m happy. I can feel a connection. Out of all of the dates I have been on in the last 6 months, this is by far the best one. I’m not thinking things like: This is going well. She’s a nice woman. She’s age appropriate. This is what I should be doing at my age.

Fuck that. The heart wants what it wants.

I ask her how has her experience been on Tinder. She says she was told about it by a friend, and she decided to check it out. She says she doesn’t do much with social media because she’s too busy and doesn’t care to see what everybody is doing.

Same!

She said at first she didn’t get all of the swiping. I ask her if she has been inundated by matches. She says yes, but she hasn’t been really interested. I ask her how long she’s been on Tinder.

“Two weeks.”

“How many dates have you been on?”

“Just this one.”

“So out of everyone, you chose to drive all the way down from Pottstown in the rain to see me?”

“Yes.”

We’re finished and they clear the plates. The bill comes and I pay it. Okay, for the record, asked her out. This is her first date on Tinder and I’m it. I really like her and she’s in my wheelhouse. I want to pay this time. This is my thing. I like her. I want her. If it works out and we start going out exclusively, you know in a few years she’ll want more kids and it’ll be over. Just like the last 3 relationships I’ve been in. So I’m not getting too worked up about this lady just yet.

Tune in two weeks from now for the amazing conclusion!

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish Monday trough Friday at 8am EST.

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Here Are Some Great Reasons to Go on That Second Date! — Dear Sybersue: Dating Relationship Talk Show and Blog

 

Are you too picky that you sabotage your dating life?

via Here Are Some Great Reasons to Go on That Second Date! — Dear Sybersue: Dating Relationship Talk Show and Blog