How to Kiss a Friend Accidentally and Get Away with It

Ever been tempted to kiss a friend? While it’s alright to get attracted to a friend, it’s not always the safest bet to make a move. Find out how to kiss a friend and get away with it!

Kissing a friend is a tempting proposition. But unless it’s a mutual desire, it’s best to stay away from such complications. But if you really do want to get frisky with a pal, here’s your guide on how to kiss a friend, the easy way.

It’s sneaky, but hey, if sexual desire matters more than friendship to you, why not give this a go?

How to kiss a friend

Have you ever tried to kiss a friend? In most cases, it just doesn’t work out.

Your friend may be shocked, surprised, or may want to stay away from you.

But if you really do like a friend and want to take it further down the path of love, then this piece on kissing a friend may not be appropriate for you.

But on the other hand, if you just want know how to kiss a friend, and then worry about your mixed feelings later, this may be the easiest way forward.

There are a few times when you can kiss a friend and get away with it, and a few other times when it’s just completely inappropriate to kiss a friend.

Firstly we’ll get to the five ways by which you could kiss a friend out of the blue, with no preamble or even a hint that you’re attracted to your friend.

#1 Kissing a friend when you’re drunk

This is pretty much the safest way to kiss a friend and get away with it. And let’s face it, more than half the first kisses between friends use this move. When you’re out with this friend you like or at a party, have a few drinks and wait for the booze to kick in. And once you’re feeling the buzz, use that as the perfect accidental excuse. Try and get the coziest spot next to your friend, preferably an isolated spot.

Start a conversation with your friend and eventually start whispering to your friend. Of course, you’re *drunk*, aren’t you? Whispering into each other’s ears is completely acceptable when you’re high!

And at some point of the conversation in between all the close facial contact, go right up and kiss your friend. The kiss may last a while longer if you’ve built a lot of sexual chemistry through all the body contact, but even if your friend’s not drunk, you’d still be able to sneak in a quick kiss. And your friend can’t really get upset or do anything about it, after all, you’re drunk out of your mind!

#2 Playing truth or dare

Kissing a friend doesn’t come easier than this. So if you’re ever trying to figure how to kiss a friend, focus on arranging a drinking game like spin the bottle or truth or dare.

Sometimes, you may get a kiss or a lot more than that. But at other times, you may not always end up lucky and another friend may end up kissing the friend you want to kiss. But not to worry, if you didn’t get a chance to kiss your friend during the game, just get drunk and go back to step #1!

#3 Kiss your friend when they’re consoling you

This is a sneaky move, and it’s another common ploy in getting to kiss a friend. Many people use this, and quite frankly, it works very well.

Have you just lost something of value and need some consoling? Everyone needs a friend they’re down and need consoling. So call the friend you like and tell them how *depressed* you are and how much you’d appreciate it if they could come over to your place to cheer you up.

When your friend comes by to your place, snuggle up and hug your friend. Just stay in that position as you mumble your sorry ass story and explain how depressed you are. At some point, you’d know that your friend’s pretty comfortable with the hug too. Now you can linger your hands on their back or go straight for the kiss. The kiss may last a while, or a few seconds. But if it does last, the kiss could lead both of you into bed and even go a lot further.

On the other hand, if your friend does take offense, you could apologize profusely and tell your friend you didn’t know what came over you. Yeah right, you effing perv!

#4 Accidentally kiss your friend

Now if you want to know the dirt on how to kiss a friend while trying this, you won’t be able to get a big, wet kiss using this move. But on the upside, your friend can never really point their finger at you, or even remotely accuse you.

So you’ve been clubbing recently? You know how hard you have to shout to be heard over the blaring speakers, don’t you? Almost always, two people who want to have a conversation have to stick their faces together to be heard. If you create an opportunity to create a quick successive series of questions and answers, you can move your face across when your friend’s yelling into your ear, and hey, guess what you just did, you kissed your friend!

How to kiss a friend accidentally conversation tip:

You: Hey, I’m going to get a drink, you want one too?!

Friend: Yeah!

You: What?!

Friend: Yeah, I’ll have one too!

You: What do you want to have?!

Friend: A beer!

You: What?!

Friend: A beeer!!

You: Why don’t you have a Hawaiian Volcano?

Friend: A Hawaiian wha….

You: A hawaiian vol… ummh!

Oops!! *Grin*

Now this works well even in a movie theater, and it’s sneaky, isn’t it? And an improvisation of this kiss is when you both are hugging and kissing each other goodbye. Turn your cheek in ever so slightly when your friend’s about to kiss you goodbye, and viola!

#5 How to kiss a friend via text flirting

Now this is a safe way to kiss your friend. It involves a lot of late night texts which eventually lead to sizzling sexual chemistry between both of you. It’s almost always foolproof as long as you take your time and play it cool. Get this easy step right, and you’re definitely going to do a lot more than kiss your friend. Get this wrong, and it’s still safe for you!

Times when you just shouldn’t kiss a friend

Now that you know the best tips on how to kiss a friend sneakily and avoid any complications, perhaps it’s time to know the times when you should never really kiss a friend.

#1 When they’re being touchy feely

Look, friends can be touchy feely or every flirty at times. But that’s just not enough of a reason to kiss a friend. Unless the vibes are just right, don’t kiss your friend just because they’re cuddling up or holding your hands. It’s risky and can cost you your friendship and the intimacy.

#2 When your friend’s asleep

This is an absolute no-no. As tempting as a sleeping friend can look, you just can’t kiss a friend when they’re asleep even if you’re drunk. There’s every chance that your friend may wake up and think you’re an absolute pervert! And your other friends will have the same opinion too.

#3 When your friend’s hung over

This kind of a situation may work in a porno flick and it’s a great fantasy too, but it’s just not something you should ever do. You may be really desperate or may have been looking for an opportunity like this since forever, but just don’t do it. There are far easier ways, so why bother with this. It’s just really perverse, and you just can’t take advantage of a friend who trusts your company.

An opportunity may crop up some other day, but never kiss a friend if you find yourself in such a situation. Respect your friend and yourself, because if you do take advantage of a drunk friend, that makes you no different than a rapist.

#4 When your friend is grieving

Now it’s natural to feel physically and emotionally connected when you’re hugging a grieving friend, but don’t use the closure and take advantage of the situation. If your friend makes the first move, then go right ahead. But if your friend just wants a shoulder to lean on at a difficult time, be there for your friend as a friend, not a lusty buddy.

So the next time you’re wondering how to kiss a friend, look no further. This is as foolproof as it can get, especially when you’re trying to get away with kissing a friend!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Social Distancing Pick-Up Lines Have Arrived & They’re The Comic Relief You Needed

Finding love in the time of coronavirus may be difficult, but the internet certainly isn’t letting that stop it. Amidst growing numbers of COVID-19 lockdowns and CDC-recommended social distancing, it was only a matter of time before #SocialDistancingPickUpLines started trending on Twitter. If you’re looking for a way to stay salacious but sanitary, let these tweets be your guide.

Though we’re all practicing social distancing — you’re doing that right? Staying home or at least six-feet from other people? Good, just checking — we can still keep it sexy from afar. There’s sexting, sexy video chatting, phone sex, foot pics, toe pics, sending nudes, sliding into someone’s DMs, self-isolating but as a euphemism, and, of course, Facebook pokes.

Yes, you can still poke someone on Facebook. Now, more than ever, we need to bring back the strange and stupid practice of clicking a button that notifies another person “you have been poked.” Is poking any less creepy while the coronavirus pandemic is going on? Who knows! Maybe! Probably. You’ll just have to find out. Poke your COVID-19 crush. It’ll be a cute story to tell the grandkids.

Or you could just try one of these 20 #SocialDistancingPickUpLines.

1. Notting Hill Part 2: Let’s Not Get COVID-19

Hollywood Exposed@AndstuffL

“I’m just a girl, standing 6 feet away from a boy. Asking him to maybe move back another foot. Thanks.” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

View image on Twitter
2,027 people are talking about this

Dibs on being Julia Roberts.

2. Will You Be My Quarantine?

Vixera@carpe_flamma

Are you a pandemic because you’ve got my heart on lockdown
#SocialDistancingPickUpLines

1,334 people are talking about this

Word play, especially during a pandemic, is welcome.

3. Six-feet, Please.

Sentient Bunny Suit🐰@SentientSuit

I saw you from across the bar. Stay there. #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

715 people are talking about this

Don’t you dare move.

4. Remix Of An Old Classic

Not Will Ferrell@itsWillyFerrell

You can’t spell quarantine without “u r a q t” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

1,113 people are talking about this

Time to brush up on those AIM skills.

5. Funny Because It’s True

Jill in Virusland@Jillinvirusland

“If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I’d be in the highest tax bracket and then I’d be able to get tested for coronavirus.” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

485 people are talking about this

Raya has left the chat.

6. Team Keep The Alphabet The Same

Joy Eilene@joyeilene

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d keep U and I exactly where they are, with eleven letters of longing between them. #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

229 people are talking about this

AEIOU and sometimes Y don’t you stay away from me.

7. The Greatest Of All Love Stories

🍒Acidic Blonde™️@Acidic_Blonde

Wanna make plans that we have to cancel? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

210 people are talking about this

Honestly? A good pickup line at any time.

8. Don’t You Dare Hold It Against Me

John C. B.@CatBirder27

#SocialDistancingPickUpLines if I told you that you had a nice body, would you keep it six feet away from me?

124 people are talking about this

Britney Spears, we need a remix.

9. The Only Thing I’ll Be Taking Out For A While

Anthony Jimenez@antyabstract

I’ll have what she’s having!

for delivery

and please leave it at my doorstep thank you so much #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

See Anthony Jimenez’s other Tweets

Extra wet wipes, too, thanks.

10. A Pickup Line To Let Them Know You’re Literate

Jill in Virusland@Jillinvirusland

“Since all the public libraries are closed, I’m checking you out instead.” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

325 people are talking about this

Reading is sexy.

11. Girl Next Door Vibes

Joy Eilene@joyeilene

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past your house on the other side of the street again? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

See Joy Eilene’s other Tweets

I literally have nothing better to do than pace around my block.

12. An Amended Chorus To The Adele Song

Jeff Dwoskin

@bigmacher

Hellooooo
I said hello
I’m not sure I can scream any louder
Never mind
#SocialDistancingPickUpLines

65 people are talking about this

I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to… have a conversation over FaceTime?

13. Wink Wink

Vlada R@Vlada_Ruggiero

Hey baby, I got some rubbers we can use… on our hands… they’re gloves. So we don’t have to touch anything #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

Embedded video

Always use protection.

14. *dances to Jamiroquai*

Levi the Totally Not Extinct Dinosaur@levi_bullen

I saw you liked and retweeted my tweet, so this is getting pretty serious huh? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

Embedded video

308 people are talking about this

Don’t be jealous because I’ve been chatting online with babes all day.

15. The Bar Is So, So Low

Zvjezdan Patz@zvjezdanpatz

I wash my hands when there’s no pandemic too #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

364 people are talking about this

You better be washing your hands.

16. It’s Truly Our Only Option

Michael@Sckswithsandals

FaceTime and chill? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

217 people are talking about this

Could I interest you in a romantic Zoom meeting?

17. We Stan A TP King

Roman Phoenix@RomanPhoenix4

Baby, do you need toilet paper? Because I can be your Prince Charmin. #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

Embedded video

1,147 people are talking about this

Better than a bouquet of flowers.

18. Say Anything… But At A Reasonable Distance

Ryan Cappo@RyanCappo

I will stand in front of your house with my emergency radio from the 80’s until you are out of quarantine, babe.#SocialDistancingPickUpLines

View image on Twitter
91 people are talking about this

I love you (staying six feet from me). How many more times do I have to say it?

19. I Repeat, The Bar Is So, So Low

Mr. Bagels@fartbagels

I have toilet paper #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

434 people are talking about this

If you have hand sanitizer, I will put a ring on it immediately.

20. Can’t Tell If I’m Terrified Or Turned On

Leanne Sandusky@LeanneSandusky

If covid-19 doesn’t take you out.. can I? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines #stolenfromsomewhere

703 people are talking about this

Honestly, at this point, perhaps a simple heart emoji and virus emoji will woo them.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Women Dating After 50: Is It Worth The Effort?

How often have you heard about women dating after 50? Do you know that over 50s dating can be just as fun and exciting as it is in your twenties?

Are you part of the crowd and wondering if it’s worth the effort? Granted, it does take effort to look your best especially if you are worried about how attractive you are at this age. And, it takes effort to meet good men.

Here’s the thing. If you like being the oddball out at a dinner party, taking yourself for a drive on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and spending Saturday night alone with a quart of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream than it is not worth the effort.

But the reality is most divorced women don’t like the ‘live alone’ lifestyle.

Let’s face it human beings are social animals and most women over fifty would at least like to spend their social time with a male companion and even better would be in a healthy committed relationship.

Lucky for you in today’s world people in their 50’s are now the fastest-growing demographic in the United States, which in and of itself makes it worth your time and energy. Being in a relationship as you head toward retirement years is a very positive way to live your life. Men and women in relationship have fewer health problems than single people.

Depression or the anxiety of dealing with today’s demands are far less if you are in a good relationship.

Having someone that cares about your well-being and happiness as well as you caring about his is a wonderful experience to have each day.

I realize that when you go through a divorce you often think… I’m better off alone. Or you may think I don’t want to take the risk of ending up with some jerk again. However, what you want to remember is today you are a very different woman from who you were when you met your ex 25 or 30 plus years ago.

You’ve paid your dues so to speak and today you are a much wiser woman then you were in your 20’s. A common mistake that women after 50 often make is not to acknowledge who they are today and how far they have come.

Remember the ad “You’ve come a long way baby!”?

Well, that’s true.

I want to encourage you to acknowledge all the life lessons you have learned and all the experiences you have had, that make you the strong and capable woman you are today.

You need to stop thinking about your age, or your horrible divorce or the extra 10 pounds you can’t get rid of. The only things you need to change are your negative thinking around the idea of dating again and turn it into a positive attitude about moving on in your life.

Actually, it is very cool to be a part of the group of women after 50 in today’s world.

In your Grandmothers or even your Mother’s time, this was not considered something a woman could do. In those days a woman was destined to live the rest of her life alone.

To celebrate the fact that you are healthy and free to find your ideal partner to share this stage of your life with.

So, Women dating after 50 is indeed worth the effort.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

What is ‘Morning Wood,’ and Why Does it Happen?

Nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT) is not a result of sexual arousal or having a dream relating to sex. Instead, it is a normal function of the male reproductive system.

In fact, regular episodes of NPT are a sign that the nerves and blood supply to the penis are healthy.

If a male does not have NPT regularly, it can indicate a health issue, such as erectile dysfunction (ED), which involves having trouble getting or keeping an erection. Not having regular NPT can also suggest other problems with the nerves or the blood supply to the male reproductive organs.

A hormonal imbalance, such as a decrease in testosterone, can also affect how often a person experiences NPT. A lack of regular NPT can sometimes result from not getting quality sleep.

As a person gets older, they can expect to experience NPT less often. This change should happen gradually, as hormone levels shift. Anyone who notices a sudden drop in the number of their NPT episodes should speak with a doctor to rule out any potential health issues.

Causes

“Morning wood” is a common occurrence for most men.

NPT is not a typical erection because it is not related to sexual thoughts, dreams, or stimulation. It is simply a result of sleep cycles, combined with healthy nerves and blood flow in the body.

NPT tends to happen when a person is in a rapid eye movement (REM) phase of sleep. REM sleep can occur several times during an 8-hour sleep cycle. The erection may go away on its own as a person enters deeper sleep. Thus, a person may have erections several times during the night but may not be aware of them.

Often, a person wakes up at the end of a REM sleep cycle, which explains why NPT seems to happen in the morning. In addition, testosterone levels tend to be elevated in the morning. Males have high levels of this hormone, which contributes to sexual function.

An erection caused by NPT may be physically different from one caused by arousal. One study found that some men experienced pain when they had NPT, but not when they had typical erections.

How often should morning wood occur?

Males of various ages, from children to older adults, experience NPT. Usually, younger adults, who have the highest levels of testosterone, will experience nocturnal erections more frequently than children or older people. Young adult males may have NPT every morning and a few times during the night.

The peak of sexual maturity generally happens when males are in their late teens to late 30s, and this may correspond with higher testosterone levels. It is normal for people in this age range to experience frequent episodes of NPT.

As a person approaches their 40s and 50s, they may notice fewer episodes of NPT. This often occurs because testosterone levels are naturally declining. However, the episodes should decline gradually, not suddenly. A gradual decline in NPT with age is customary.

A hormonal imbalance, especially one that affects the penis and testes, can result in few or no episodes of NPT. This is one reason why having regular erections in the morning is an important indicator of healthy male sexual organs.

One study found that men with hypogonadism, which prevents the sexual organs from fully functioning, experienced an increase in NPT after they had received testosterone therapy.

Some research says that a person’s quality of sleep can affect the frequency of NPT. If a person is not getting good sleep and entering the REM cycle, they may not experience nocturnal erections.

A study of 61 men with obstructive sleep apnea and ED found that getting better quality sleep resulted in more frequent NPT. The participants who used continuous positive airway pressure devices had more frequent nocturnal erections than those who did not.

Other studies have used NPT as an indicator of hormonal or sexual health, especially when treating ED.

For instance, if a person has NPT but cannot get or maintain an erection during sexual activity, doctors can rule out issues such as insufficient blood flow or nerve responses in the penis. If this is the case, ED may be a psychological issue, and a health professional can treat it accordingly.

However, if a person has no nocturnal erections and has trouble getting or keeping erections related to sex, doctors may determine that there is a physical cause of ED.

When to see a doctor

A person should speak to a doctor if they notice changes in how frequently NPT occurs.

Because NPT is an indicator of quality sleep and the health of sexual organs, it is helpful to pay attention to how often NPT happens.

If NPT suddenly stops or is happening much less frequently, speak with a doctor. They may wish to discuss possible health conditions, such as sleep disorders, hormonal imbalances, anxiety, and ED.

It is important to see a doctor about a lack of NPT, as it can be a symptom of ED. This condition can indicate serious health issues, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, or diabetes, especially in younger males. A health professional can help treat these conditions, including ED.

Certain medications, such as antidepressants, can make it more difficult for a person to get or maintain an erection. They may also cause a decrease or sudden stop in NPT. Some of these medications include:

  • high blood pressure medications
  • muscle relaxers
  • hormonal medications
  • seizure medications
  • antidepressants
  • histamine H2 agonists (which can help treat some types of ulcers)
  • chemotherapy drugs
  • medications to treat heart arrhythmias
  • diuretics

If a person has recently started a new medication and notices changes in the frequency of NPT, they may wish to speak with their doctor. Sometimes, the doctor can prescribe a different medication to help address this side effect.

See a doctor if NPT or erections in general are painful.

Seek emergency medical help for an erection that does not go away after 4 hours. If this occurs, it can cause tissue damage in the penis and problems with sexual function.

Summary

Morning wood is a healthy function of the male body.

A person should talk with their doctor if they notice a sudden change in the frequency of nighttime erections. This can ensure that a person receives prompt treatment for any underlying health conditions.

 

Rebecca – Chapter 15 – Reprise

“I never want to retire. I’m not a workaholic, but I love to be busy. I want to have something to do every day for the rest of my life until my sister Janice pats me in the face with a shovel.”

Please go back and read: (Rebecca – Dark Wings of Destiny – Chapters 1 through 14) to fully understand the history I have with this person.

Present Day

Just when I thought everything had gone to shit with Cherie, I get a text.

It’s Rebecca.

I haven’t heard from her in over two years. I don’t even know what she’s been doing. I thought she was gone forever.

So much has changed in my life since meeting Rebecca. I’ve been on a million dates, I’ve changed jobs, I’ve had a sort of girlfriend for over a year and a half. That’s what it is and has been well documented here.

Cherie and I are teetering between love and loss. I’m fine with whatever way it goes, but it would be nice to retain the passion we once had. I think Cherie wants that and so do I, but our schedules are killing us both.

Cherie’s 40 miles away, super busy and so am I, but when we’re together it sings. But lately it’s been really difficult. Cherie’s texts tell me so.

Her life, the distance, her son, her family, her jobs, school, finals, graduation, and beyond.

We’re in two different worlds right now.

Well, we’ve always been in two different worlds.

Cherie’s a 28-year-old attractive, smart, girl faced with the reality of growing up and going forward in her life.

I’m a middle-aged guy who’s realized that corporate america and sitting in a cubicle is bullshit and would rather work two jobs really hard than work one he hated. I love my life at the salon and the restaurant. I’ve found the happy balance.

My daughter Lorelei works right down the street. It’s great. There’s harmony in that.

But when I got the text from Rebecca it threw me for a loop.

I really like Rebecca and she’s always been flighty, but I always loved her company. I know she was trying to find her way in this world and I was always there for her, like I’ve been for all of my friends… but Rebecca was different.

I kind of loved Rebecca.

I would say in a “phicklephilly way” but I think there’s something more than that here. I know it seems crazy. Rebecca’s 24 years old, but if you’ve read the previous Rebecca posts, I always felt a connection to her.

I’ve never been after her. I’m not after anybody.

They always come to me.

But Rebecca has always had a certain pull that the other ones don’t possess. Rebecca haunts me when she’s gone, but I never feel that depressing loss I have with the others. Maybe because the others are just a dopamine drop and I miss the rush of their beauty once it’s gone, but I’m relieved because they were trouble.

Rebecca was never any of those things.

Rebecca was always herself. Honest. Vulnerable. Beautiful.

She thought enough of me to spend time with me.

I’ve lived a charmed life. I really have. I’ve survived on my charm, sense of humor and skills.

Nothing more.

At my age, I’m delighted at my life. I know so many men my age that are lost and confused. It’s so sad.

I love knowing exactly who I am at my age and what I want. After half a century on the planet I finally got it right and it feels joyous.

I never want to retire. I’m not a workaholic, but I love to be busy. I want to have something to do every day for the rest of my life until my sister Janice pats me in the face with a shovel.

My life is rich in experience and memories. I can wrap myself up in them every night like a warm blanket. It’s really lovely after 50 years of anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.

I’ve rebuilt my broken self into an elegant old analog machine that runs so well in the digital age. I work with young people. I love that I can inspire them with my experience just like my dad did when he was my age.

I’m grateful that everyday I get to wake up again, and nothing hurts, and everything’s working. (everything!) The sun is shining and I look forward to the day.

For years I was mired in corporate life. Wearing a suit and tie, going to meetings, working for assholes who couldn’t do what I could do, but were only there because they had no where else to go.

All a joke.

I want to work.

My sister Janice says, “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”

She, like my father is only quoting because they’re not the best in original thought, but yes! She’s right, or whoever wrote that bit.

So here I am, in a relationship that’s been distant but’s still alive. For me this has been a great relationship, because unlike all of my other relationships, this one actually met my perfect relationship model.

I know I’ll feel some backlash on this, but it’s been perfect for me.

All of my other relationships have been traditional. Boyfriend/girlfriend. Living together, and moving towards a destination I’ve already experienced and been killed in virtual immolation, and hundreds of thousands of dollars in child support.

I’m never getting married again. Definitely not having any more kids.

My last three relationships have been with younger women and I know how this looks. I did not pursue these wonderful ladies. It just happened.

But the definition of crazy is, doing the same thing over and over hoping you get a different result.

That’s not me, but, my last handful of girlfriends have been young and beautiful.

The ends were inevitable.

They were all doomed before they began, but they were all wonderful. Thank you one and all, girls!

So here I am at a precipice with Cherie, who is the sweetest woman in the world and whom I love very much, and the prospect that she could shit-can me any day now, simply out of not having any time to see me.

We’re amazing when we’re together and I absolutely adore her. I should probably go to her graduation on Friday, but I know I won’t because I hate getting up early anymore and I don’t really want to deal with the whole event in general.

I probably should go.

It would mean the world to her.

Do I really want to meet her family?

She’s worked so hard for so many years. This could be the thing that fixes us.

I really don’t want to go, but I don’t want Cherie gone from my life.

Ahhh… what should I do loyal readers?

 

I reluctantly texted Rebecca back.

“Hey. It’s been a minute. I feel like we kind of left it all hanging. Hope you’re doing well.”

A day passed…

“Charles…. I miss you. I’m sorry I’ve been out of touch. Been busy with work and life. Up and down. Can you meet for a drink?”

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

10 Reasons Why Saying ‘I Love You’ Too Soon Sucks

Do you find yourself saying ‘I love you’ too soon all the time? Learn why waiting to say ‘I love you’ just a while longer can make love so much better.

When you’re falling in love with someone, it’s hard to hold yourself back from taking the plunge.

If you’re smitten by someone you’re dating, chances are, you’d be really enthusiastic about saying ‘I love you’ and taking the next step.

But how soon is too soon?

When is the right time to say ‘I love you’?

And why is it better to wait a while instead of blurting it right out when you feel like it?

Are you saying ‘I love you’ too soon?

Love always takes time.

You may be madly infatuated by someone you’ve met on a date once, or you may think you’re in love after your first kiss.

But it’s not really love at all.

It’s just the first stage in several stages of that mushy thing called love.

And what makes falling in love with each other so magical is the tension and the confusion, the insecurities and those stolen moments of passion that build as two people start wooing each other.

But if you do say ‘I love you’ before you and your new date can feel the excitement of actually falling for each other, you could ruin the happy moment and turn it into something far more serious before both of you have even had the time to evaluate the potential relationship.

Is it wrong to say ‘I love you’ too soon?

Well, truth be told, it’s never wrong to say ‘I love you’ too soon. After all, if you feel it, you feel it. What’s the point in hiding your feelings for someone?

At times, revealing your love for someone may be the best thing you could do, especially if they love you back already. But what happens if you’re dating someone who’s still evaluating you as a long term partner potential?

If you rush it by professing your love for someone who’s still not ready to love you, you may end up losing the relationship even though both of you were perfect for each other. So if you can wait for it, it’s always better to wait a while rather than rushing into something and ruining it without giving the relationship a fair chance.

10 reasons why saying ‘I love you’ too soon sucks

If you truly love someone, or are waiting to say ‘I love you’ for the first time, keep these 10 reasons in mind and test your own potential relationship.

And if you feel like you stand a good chance and are not rushing into love even after reading these tips, then go right ahead and say those three magical words to the one you love!

#1 The guessing game is over. The excitement of playing hard to get with each other is what makes falling in love so much fun. Both of you like each other a lot, can’t stop touching each other and feel so good inside every time both of you meet. You’re not in a relationship yet, but both of you are falling hard for each other already.

If you say ‘I love you’ too soon, the excitement of wondering what’s on each other’s minds would end overnight. It’s not a bad thing, but a longer courting almost always gives a better chance for a longer relationship because both of you waited before taking the plunge.

#2 Are you an obsessive lover? Some people are obsessive lovers. They jump into a new relationship with someone as soon as one relationship ends because they can’t stay single. They love being in love, and need love to feel complete. These kinds of lovers end up saying ‘I love you’ even without realizing whether they’re really in love with their date.

And as you meet your date often over time, instead of trying to build the love, you may spend many of your dates trying to convince yourself that you’ve actually met the one!

#3 When there’s no reciprocation. If you say ‘I love you’ and your date doesn’t respond with the same sentence, it makes the whole relationship go backwards. It’ll leave one of you confused and the other angry.

And that builds insecurities and fills the air with a lot of awkwardness. Unless you’re completely smitten by this person you’re dating and don’t care whether they love you back or not, avoid saying it too soon.

#4 A big misunderstanding. If you say something as serious as ‘I love you’ very early into the relationship, your date may think you’re not really in love with them, but are just saying it to please them. That’s really the worst thing, because your three magical words have just lost all meaning to your date.

#5 How well do you know each other? People get infatuated by each other at first sight. They don’t fall in love! If you really need to love someone, you need to love them for who they are. So what do you know about your date? Do you know about their exes, how many relationships they’ve been in, about their likes and dislikes and the kind of person they are? Always make sure you actually like the real person you’re dating for their personality before professing your love to them.

#6 Are you insecure? Ask yourself this question sincerely, are you saying ‘I love you’ to this special person just to cover your insecurities? Some smitten lovers say those words just to beat any competition out of the way, or arm-twist the one they’re dating so they can feel more secure about the relationship or push away anyone else who’s threatening the relationship. If you have to profess your love, do it for the right reasons.

#7 Stuck in love. If one of you says ‘I love you’ too soon, and the other person accepts and responds with the same line without really thinking, one or both of you may feel stuck in the relationship because it all happened so fast.

If you say it too soon, your lover may even get angry with you if they jumped in too fast and reciprocated by saying that they loved you too. And instead of focusing on love, your new partner may have to spend all their time wondering if they really need to be in a serious relationship with you. Would you like that?

#8 Pressure doesn’t always work. Once you say it, the secret’s out in the open for you and your date to see. And you can’t take your words back again. What if your date just wants a casual relationship with you and doesn’t want anything serious just yet? They may really love you, but they may still be unsure about doing anything about it.

And remember, there’s no going back once you say it. If your date’s uncertain about the future of the romance, saying ‘I love you’ will force them to think about it. And the extra pressure on deciding immediately may just force your date into turning you down or walking away if they’re not ready to be held down in a serious romance.

#9 Prove your love. If you really want to say ‘I love you’ and hear it back from your date, then learn to play it safe. Instead of saying ‘I love you’, prove your love through actions. Don’t say how much you love your date, but show it through your romantic gestures. If your date loves you, they’ll reciprocate with happiness. But if they aren’t looking for something serious, they’d seem uncomfortable with your affection.

#10 Watch their response to your love. You’ll know if your date loves you back if they go out of their way to do something for you too. After you smother your date with love and romance, wait and watch their response. If your date really loves you, they’d start indulging in little romantic gestures like buying you gifts or going out of their way to do something nice for you.

If that happens, yeah, your date loves you. On the other hand, if your date doesn’t respond in kind, perhaps they just need more time to fall madly in love with you.

When is the best time to say I love you?

Express your love when you believe you’re truly in love. But at the same time, be certain that your date is ready to hear it. A good rule of thumb here, both of you should have spent at least a month seriously dating each other each and must have met each other on at least five real romantic dates.

To some, this may seem like it’s all too fast. And to many others, it may seem like a lot of waiting. But a month into dating each other is the perfect time to express your love for this special someone. The infatuation would have peaked and led to something a lot more beautiful, and big chances are, it could just be love!

The waiting game

If you wait too long, your new date may get bored or wonder if the relationship’s going anywhere. If you say it too soon, you may ruin your relationship because of all the added pressure and the confusion.

If you want the experience to seem like a fairy tale romance, take your time while saying ‘I love you’ and read the signs. Keep an eye on the budding relationship and take the plunge when you feel like love’s all around in the air.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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The 5 Worst Tinder Scams: Tips for Dating Safely on Tinder

Since online dating is so popular, online dating platforms are a perfect tool for scammers. And with Tinder being one of the most popular apps, Tinder scams are common.

Here are are the Tinder scams that you should look out for, along with advice on how to avoid them. Because we want you to keep swiping right without being scammed.

1. Tinder Account Verification Code Scam

The Tinder account verification scam involves a match asking whether you have verified your profile on the app. The match, who is actually a bot, then asks you to verify your account through a link that they provide.

However, the link sends you to a third-party website. The site requires you to fill in personal information such as your full name, your email address, your birthdate, and your credit card number.

Instead of being used to verify your account, this information is used to register you (and your credit card) for costly subscriptions to adult websites. Users who fall for this scam report that the subscriptions can run up to $120/month and are very difficult to cancel.

How to Avoid This Scam

Tinder does actually have verified accounts, but this verification is never done through a third-party.

According to the Tinder FAQ, “Some Tinder profiles are verified to confirm their authenticity. Verified profiles include public figures, celebrities, and brands. If a Tinder profile is verified, a blue verified badge will appear next to the user’s name.”

However, you have to send a verification request to an email address at Tinder to start the process. Furthermore, verification is limited to only certain public figures and brands. Therefore, the average person won’t be verified.

2. Tinder Bot Profiles

The bots mentioned above are just one type of bot using Tinder. In reality, many different types of bots try to lure users into different scams.

These bots can usually simulate a real conversation. However, after a short while, they will send you a link, asking you to visit it. The link usually sends you to an app, an online game, or some other online service.

The bot may talk about wanting to play the online game with you, suggest downloading a chat app so that you can have a more adult conversation, or say that they recommend the service and you should try it out.

Unfortunately the links they send you will likely end with you providing personal information to a fake site or downloading malware to your phone, so be sure to learn how to spot online fakes used by scammers.

You can’t trust everything you see online. Here are seven commonly faked elements online and some advice for identifying them.

How to Recognize a Tinder Bot

The easiest way to avoid a Tinder bot scam is to learn to recognize one as fast as possible. However, recognizing a bot is more difficult than you might think.

Improvements in chatbot functionality make them a lot harder to identify. Bots do very well with the kind of conversations you have in online dating—short, direct questions and responses.

Here are a few ways to spot a potential bot:

  • Be on alert if the profile only has between one and three very similar photos (especially glamour or professional modeling shots).
  • Profiles with limited info, nothing in their bio, and very suggestive images are more likely to be bots.
  • Bots often reply very quickly—sometimes faster than the time it takes to type their message. They are also more likely to message first.
  • 99 percent of the real people on Tinder will not ask you to follow a link, download an app, or to play a sketchy online game. If the person you’re talking to asks you to do this, the chances are it’s a scam.

If you suspect a Tinder match is a bot, there are a few strategies for testing your suspicion. Challenge suspected bots by asking complicated or very specific questions. This could be as simple as asking the bot to explain something in one of their photos or asking a two-part question.

You can also try using a nonsense word in place of a noun while asking a question. If the bot uses the nonsense word back (instead of asking you what you’re talking about), you know it’s not a real person.

3. Catfishing on Tinder

Many scams are run by real people using fake profiles. Also known as “catfishing”, these scammers use a fake persona and make you believe that they are interested in you.

These scammers are difficult to identify, don’t have the tell-tale signs of bots, and are often willing to play a long game. Tinder takes some steps to prevent these kinds of scams by linking profiles to Facebook and Instagram, but this isn’t always enough.

Human scammers generally create fake Facebook profiles with images sourced online and create elaborate stories about their fake lives. Once you match with a scammer, they will probably be very quick to suggest moving to another chat platform such as Skype. They may even talk to you on the phone and suggest starting a relationship.

Inevitably, some sort of disaster will supposedly affect the scammer. After this, they’ll request money from you. Sometimes they claim to need money to travel to meet you; other times they’ll claim there’s some family emergency and they need financial help from you.

By playing to your emotions, master scammers can make thousands of dollars using these techniques.

How to Recognize a Catfish or Fake Account on Tinder

social catfish

If someone has a very limited profile and you’re suspicious, consider using a site like socialcatfish.com to check whether their account is real. This site’s search engine can help you verify that their images, emails, phone numbers, or usernames aren’t being used with multiple accounts.

Many people running a catfish scam will want to talk on other forms of social media as soon as possible so that you don’t flag their Tinder account for spam. So be sure to delay speaking to someone on WhatsApp, Skype, or text until you’re sure that you can trust them.

Another great way to avoid a catfish scam is to actually meet up with your matches. A catfish will usually find excuses or not show up to meetups since they’re hiding behind a fake profile.

Finally, don’t give money to people you meet through social media or dating apps.

4. Tinder Blackmail Scams

Scammers also target Tinder users for blackmail schemes. This scam involves Tinder profiles that solicit nude pictures from other users in order to blackmail them. Once you send through nudes, the scammers demand money in exchange for not releasing the images.

Unlike Tinder bots, these scammer accounts are run by real people who carefully groom potential victims for days. Once they establish trust, they ask for these images.

How to Deal With Tinder Blackmail

To avoid this scam, do not send any compromising images of yourself to matches—especially if you’ve never met them before. This is just one way to protect your privacy while dating online.

Online dating can leave you vulnerable to privacy risks. In this article, we explain how to stay anonymous and protect your privacy on popular dating apps.

However, it’s not too late if this has already happened. If you are being blackmailed on Tinder or other dating apps, there are organizations and companies that can help you. You should get in contact with an organization that deals with removing private images from the internet.

Find an organization in your country that deals with takedown requests for private images. Google has a dedicated takedown request form for these types of issues if your images appear in search results.

Furthermore, the UK has a dedicated helpline for people whose intimate images appear online.

5. Venue Promotion Scams on Tinder

Another scam on Tinder involves people hired to attract customers to a specific venue, such as a restaurant. The match will tell you that they will be at a venue soon with their friends and you should stop by if you would like to meet up.

However, when you arrive, your match isn’t there. Rather, you’ll find other people who were also told to stop by by the same profile.

Another version of this scam is especially popular in China. The online date will want to eat at a specific venue and will rack up a huge tab that you have to pay for. After the date, you’ll never hear from your match again.

How to Avoid This Tinder Scam

Look out for any matches that suggest meeting up at a specific venue after very little interaction. Most people want to at least chat a while before they suggest meeting up.

If you’re suspicious of a potential date, maybe suggest an alternative location to meet up, such as a coffee shop. This makes it unlikely that they’ll rope you into an expensive dinner and shows whether they’re willing to budge on where to meet. If they were hired to get customers to a specific venue, they won’t want to meet up somewhere else.

Stay Safe While Online Dating

So there we have it. These are the Tinder scams you need to watch out for while swiping right on people you want to date. But thankfully, scams are still a small part of online dating as a whole.

There are a few rules to follow when online dating, such as not sharing too much information, not lying on your profile, and using the right platform for your goals. So make sure you check out our online dating mistakes you should never make and these mistakes to avoid when using Tinder so that you can enjoy a positive experience.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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