Wildwood Daze – Spring of 1980 – The Union Jacks – Part 2

Look at Chaz in his black outfit, with his ’79 Black Ibanez Iceman, rocking out for the kids. Baby steps.

 

We get our first gig at Margaret Mace Elementary and Middle School. We’re going to play for the kids in middle school. 12, 13, 14 year old kids.

Jim went to this school, and knows the faculty. He was good student, but my dear friend is an older man in high school now. He’s in Wildwood High now with me and Mark the bassist.

Incidentally I will add this side note. My Uncle Jack was valedictorian from the first graduating class of Margaret Mace. My father told me he never cracked a book. Just a brilliant charming dude.

Love him forever.

I wish I were his son. Just neglect me and let me play rock and be in the music industry.

I think family genetics get mixed up but great creativity came from pain and oppression so I’m fine with where I came from.

All the best art comes from the oppressed. Under Jack I may have just ended up a privileged asshole so I’m fine with where my soul landed.

I’m terrified to do our first show. But it’s a bunch of young kids in an auditorium. I can’t eat before the show for fear of throwing up. No one in the band knows about my severe anxiety problem.

They’re ready to rock these kids and take this band for a test drive.

I’m terrified, but we’ve rehearsed everything and have our whole set list ready. Brian would write out the set list and tape it to the floor in front of every one of us so we knew what was going to happen. I always felt comfort in that, so thank you Bri.

If I just could get through the first song I’d be fine. We got this. We always opened with Freeway Jam, I think by Jeff Beck. It was just a cool song we could run licks on and warm up to get the audience going.

It’s funny because almost every blues act does the same thing. They come out and jam for a bit and then get into their real shit with singing and hits. We did the same thing as a fledgling band automatically. It just worked for us so we could warm up and get to the songs.

We hit our groove, and Brian is always the constant professional showman we need to carry us forth.

He’s just great. He is clearly the leader of this band and we let him have the reigns. He carries us through our show with tight drumming and great vocals and showmanship.

Brian is clearly the leader of this band, but he can’t do it without me, the creative songwriter, cute, rock star one, Jim, the sizzling lead guitarist, and Mark, his flexible tone deaf puppet, carrying the rhythm.

It’s Brian’s band and it’s always been Brian’s band, but today he’s a little outnumbered. The audience has me and Jim rocking out on our guitars in the front.

Thats who the audience adores.

I’m just trying to hold it together and hit all of the right notes.

However, I’ve brought several guitar picks with me and I am throwing them out to the kids in the audience.

I’ve lived this exact scenario as a kid. If there was some rock band playing and I could be a part of it, I would attach myself to that in a second. I knew that even though I was playing rock at a middle school I had to go full on rock star. Because that’s what I wanted to be.

I bought tons of guitar picks before the show and threw dozens into the crowd knowing the result. The kids went crazy. Brian picked up on this and tossed drumsticks into the audience and they fought over them.

Back in 1979-1980 the song by JJ. Cale that became a hit by Eric Clapton had become a hit. It was all over the radio. It was called Cocaine.

Huge hit. We covered the song because it was wildly popular that year. People loved it.

Should we have played Cocaine to a bunch of 13-year-old kids? Probably not. We didn’t even think about it at the time. It was just a hit. But to play that for a bunch of kids in middle school, we probably should have deleted from the set list.

I can tell you that we did the chorus…. “She don’t like, She don’t like, She don’t like…..

The kids would shout: COCAINE!

We had know idea.

Union Jacks were already a dangerous band. (We were just playing what was popular on the radio. (Should we have reviewed the set list before playing in front of a bunch of kids….yea probably)

We’re nearing the end of our set. (The kids are going wild) The Vice Pincipal walks onstage and tells us we’re done.

Brand new young lead guitarist Jim and former alum literally pushed him off the stage…

“We’re not done yet.”

He launches into “My Generation” by the The Who, which to me is my favorite song Jim ever performed with our band. It just seemed so arrogant. It just seemed to embody my best friend.

We close out the show and I think maybe Jim busted up his Strat for show.

We never fucked around with our equiptment but because I spent $500 of my busboy money on my sweet guitar I always treated like my best girl. But Jim beat his Strat into the bass drum that day. It was a pot CBS Strat so I knew that bolt on neck would hold and could be fixed.

 

We promise to meet up later to review and revel.

By the end of the show I had a headache from not eating/not puking/anxiety/ I walked home and sat at the kitchen table with my mom.

“How was the show?”

“I should probably eat something.”

“PBJ rock star?”

“That would be lovely, mom. I think we did good but we may have played some songs that not everybody liked.”

“Well you have to expect that in rock and roll. You think Elvis cared?”

I knew my mom cried when Elvis died, but in that moment I knew my mom, even though she wouldn’t go to my shows, was proud of me.

She got it.

She just was so afraid of watching me fail.

I didn’t care. I was just happy I didn’t puke on stage because of my anxiety.

I did it. I made it.

Knock at the door. Mark and Brain are there.

One Bufferin and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich later…

“Hey guys. Thanks for bring my gear home.

Mark: “I feel like a fuckin roadie.”

Chaz: Welcome to real rock and roll. We just played a real gig and rocked the fuck out. I know it was to a bunch of kids, but we’ve got something here an got paid! ”

Mark: “Some kids recorded the whole concert on tape recorders.”

Chaz: ” Really? We have to hear them!”

Brian: “Yea. We have more gigs coming up.”

Chaz: “Cool man. We’re going to the top!”

Brian: “Oh, these are for you. Looks like you’re pretty popular.”

He hands me a stack of slips of paper with girls names and phone numbers on them.

IT’S STARTING….

I have finally arrived.

I read them all and can’t believe that after all of this time of being a loser this is happening now.

A bunch of 11, 12 and 13 year old girls want to meet me.

I throw them all in the wastebasket in my bedroom.

Because all of these lovelies are minors. Sadly this is something that will haunt me my entire life.

 

 

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5 Ways Husbands Make Their Wives Feel Ugly Without Saying A Thing

1. He withholds compliments.

So if woman looks attractive while putting on jewelry, she wants her husband to tell her. If a man is amazed at his wife’s ability to multi-task, he needs to let her know. If a woman whips-up the most incredible shrimp linguini, her husband should suggest she open a restaurant.

It’s no surprise that when a woman’s heart is weighed down, “a kind word cheers it up”(Proverbs 12:25).

2. He has no pictures of his wife–anywhere.

I once visited my husband at work and saw something beautiful: Me! There I was, sitting on his desk—inside a little frame for all to see. I felt honored and cherished, and if I’m honest, a little flirty: Can’t get enough of me when you’re not home, eh, big guy?

So if a man is serious about affirming his wife 24/7 and is looking for ways to “publicly declare her praise” (Proverbs 31:31), he should frame a photo of her—his favorite one with the flower in her hair—and put it in a place of prominence. Even a quick switch-out of his phone’s wallpaper will do the trick. And taking down all girly posters in the garage goes without saying.

3. He gawks frequently.

For every married man who does a double-take at the beach or repeatedly glances at the hottie on aisle five, there’s a married woman who feels undesirable and inadequate. Eventually she’ll believe she’s not good enough. And with a steady diet of checking-out the ladies, her husband will come to believe that about her as well.

Since gawking at women in public can easily lead to gawking in private, a man must check himself before a marital affair or addiction to porn ruins his life—“for anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).

4. He never gives her gifts.

I’ll never forget how pretty I felt the day my husband bought me a blouse he picked out all by himself. Why? Because he thought I’d look good in it. I then pictured him shopping, saying to himself, “I want to see her in this.” The entire gesture made him attractive to me and made me feel attractive; it was a win-win.

But the best gift a man can give to his relationally-wired wife is himself. And talk about a win-win, for it’ll free her to become generous in return (Proverbs 11:25). Poet Kahil Gibran once wrote: “You give but little when you give of your possessions; it is when you give of yourself that you truly live.”

5. He constantly looks at his phone.

The days of sitting together—on a couch, at a restaurant, in the car—without the lure of a phone, beckoning to be checked every 18 seconds, are long gone. But when a man makes the first move and puts his phone down, making eye contact like it was their very first date, his woman is sure to feel seen and heard—the very opposite of ugly.

1 Peter 3:7 says a man is to live with his wife “according to knowledge,” which means to know her, and the only way that can happen is to limit distractions.

 

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Ambria – Chapter 17 – Atlantic City – Part 5

After last night’s mad sex and boozing, Ambria passed out. It was obvious she drank too much, but we’re adults and in a safe location so who cares. The sex was intense. But unlike me, Ambria isn’t as sexually powerful as myself. She fell asleep. I was still wide awake from all of the fun activity.

I was sipping my drink, and realized I hadn’t eaten in over eight hours. So I grabbed the keys and quietly left the room. I hopped in the elevator and went downstairs.

The Ritz Carlton is right on the boardwalk. It’s Fourth of July weekend. The town is in full swing. This is sin city!

I don’t want to gamble, but I really want to do something I shouldn’t after all that booze at 11pm at night. I don’t live like this. But I did what I knew I shouldn’t do. I walked into Tony Luke’s and ordered a big old cheese steak and fries.

I’m sure you all assumed I did something much worse, but I never eat like that anymore. I love a good breakfast, I dig a modest late lunch, and then a very light supper at dusk.

I know what could happen, but I’ve been drinking, I’m hungry after getting my freak on for the last few hours, and I want a fucking cheese steak!

I go back up to the room and obviously, my girl is deeply asleep. The cheese steak and fries is sooo good. It’s just what I need. Oh, that and the large Diet Coke to wash it all down.

After I stuff my head I’m so satisfied. It’s been an electric day and night. I crawl into bed and pass out within a few minutes.

Here’s why I shouldn’t have done that.

1. My body knows its own schedule in regard to diet. It’s pretty consistent.
2. I’ve been drinking oceans of booze with Ambria tonight. We didn’t quit drinking early. We boozed for hours. Despite the alcohol the sex wasn’t affected at all. (That I know of. Everything was fully functional and it was hot.)
3. I just ate a pile of greasy proteins and carbohydrates.
4. And now I’m passing out.
5. When you’re boozed up you pass out, but don’t really get a solid nights sleep. Part of that time you’re unconscious, your body is busy still processing the alcohol in your system.
6. Now you’ve added a whole food digestion event into this nocturnal slumber. You’re probably going to feel much worse tomorrow morning.

 

The next morning I felt like shit. It’s rare I ever feel hungover anymore because I always drink a lot of water when I’m out drinking. But that drinking is usually a happy hour that consiste of two cocktails in two hours and then home. Or, a few glasses of wine and then home.

It’s not oceans of hard liquor and then greasy food tossed in on top of it all. That just turns into rocket fuel.

The best thing to do is moderation, hydration and then solid sleep. The next morning a good breakfast with fruit and protiens and vegtables will bring you forward through your day.

Ambria is already up and getting dressed. She seems fine. I feel like I’ve been thrown into a dumpster. I know I’ll feel better later but probably not until well after 3pm.

I jump into the shower and that helps. When I’m finished, I pack up and we head out of the room. Ambria says something about some breakfast place she likes to hit when she’s in town and asks if I want to do that.

Normally I’d be down for a new breakfast spot but right now I just feel too sick. The Irish flu is upon me.

I tell her I’d just like to get on the road and hit up a Wawa and get some crackers, a banana, some water and ginger ale.

Ambria seems annoyed, but I’m really not feeling well and I’m kinda done with being here today. Had I felt better, I would have done whatever she wanted, but i just wasn’t feeling it anymore. I just wanted to feel better.

I’m set in my ways at my age, and even though I am very flexible and affable, I’ve been with the same girl for the last 48 hours and I’m done. I want to be back in Philly. It’s the fourth of July today, and I don’t have to be in work until tomorrow, so I just need my solitude and recovery.

I’ll be fine by late afternoon.

Ambria and I have been dating for a few months. We just had cataclysmic sex. It was her idea. I did what I was supposed to do. I performed accordingly. The vodka/urethra incident was painful, but I get a story out of it. I am in a place in my life where there’s only some key things I need in my life.

The good thing was, it was a nice day. A clear day helps clear ones head. We stop at Wawa and I get the things to help cure my self inflicted illness. Ambria picks up a couple of items and we’re back on the road.

As time passes the conversations are fine, and there’s no traffic which is great.

We get back to Philly in about 2 hours and I’m happy to home and off for the rest of the day.

Ambria pulls up about a block from my house, I kiss her and tell her what a wonderful time I’ve had and thank her for making my 4th of July extraordinary.  I grab my bag and get out of the Jeep. I wave bye and tell her we’ll text and probably meet up again next Monday. (Our usual date day because we’re both off)

Ambria drives off and I walk up to my house. Once in I unpack and sit down at my desk and open my laptop. I do some writing, and just feel relieved it’s over.

The whole weekend has been a challenge. (You may be thinking… a chalenge? You just got taken to the shore and ate, drank and fucked away at the Ritz Carlton!)

But I run my life a certain way now. I like to work. I have a set schedule, and if I hang out with someone I know exactly how that’s going to be. Where, when, and for how long. There was a lot of unknows here, travel, strage place, pressuer to perform, and retched excess.

I don’t do that anymore, but I’m glad it’s behind me and Ambria and I can move on from here. I kind of want to get back to the dating part of our relationship.

We’ll see what happens now.

Either way, I have Cherie so I’m in a position  of power here.

 

 

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7 Weird Dreams That People With Anxiety Have In Common & What They Mean

If you have an anxiety disorder, chances are you’re well-acquainted with the fact that anxiety can invade every part of your life, whether you’re awake or not. But even if you don’t have anxiety, you’ve probably experienced an anxiety dream. Anxiety dreams can come in many shapes and sizes, from full-blown nightmares, to things that aren’t as terrifying, but that certainly make you feel uncomfortable, unsettled, and anxious. If you do have anxiety, you want to know the weird dreams that people with anxiety have in common and what they mean so that maybe you can begin to make some sense of what your own dreams might be telling you. And if you don’t have anxiety, you still might want to know more about anxiety dreams because, as Dr. Carly Snyder, M.D., a perinatal and reproductive psychiatrist/women’s mental health psychiatrist, tells Romper, you don’t have to have an anxiety disorder to have an anxiety dream — pretty much everyone has them.

Just because you’ve had a similar dream yourself before doesn’t necessarily mean that the exact interpretation is also true for you, but knowing what your subconscious could be telling you just might help you understand your anxiety — or your situation — a little bit better. Snyder says that in order to get to the bottom of your anxiety, you likely need to look at the big picture, not just what you can remember from one dream.

“Sleep is imperative, like, imperative,” Snyder says. “If you don’t get enough sleep, you will feel anxious and your mood will be down and there are so many negative outcomes as a result of exhaustion, so if you find that you are having a lot of anxiety dreams and it’s really negatively impacting your ability to function during the day and your overall amount of sleep you’re getting, find a therapist, talk it out. You don’t always have to work on it either by yourself or with your significant other in the middle of the night. Sometimes the best approach is to find a specialist who can really help you to figure out the root cause and then get your sleep back on track and then your anxiety will likely improve on its own, hopefully.” If these dreams are causing problems in your life, it might be time to talk to someone about them and get to the bottom of what’s really going on.

 

1. You’re Falling

Nearly everyone has at least heard of people suffering from scary dreams where they’re falling, even if you’ve never experienced a dream like this firsthand. “You fall out of a plane and your parachute doesn’t open, or you fall onto subway or railroad tracks and you can’t get up before the train comes,” Dr. Carole Lieberman, M.D., a psychiatrist and author, tells Romper in an email exchange. “These dreams mean that you are feeling out of control of your life. You feel helpless to fix some situation.”

2. You’re Running Late

Running late can be stressful enough when you’re awake and it’s really happening, but when you run late in a dream, it can still be pretty nerve-wracking. “You’re trying to get somewhere extremely important, but one obstacle after another gets in your way. Your car runs out of gas, so you decide to take a bus, but the bus pulls out just as you’re running to it, so you keep hailing cabs but none of them stop,” Lieberman says. “This dream means that you feel like you’re missing out on something and that no matter how hard you try, you’re afraid things will keep happening to stop you from getting what you want.”

3. You Have A Test & Forgot To Study

Snyder says this anxiety dream is a classic. “All of a sudden you are completely vulnerable, everybody sees it, and you’re unprepared,” she explains. Feeling like you’re unprepared or soon going to embarrass yourself probably isn’t going to make you feel calm, cool, and collected.

 

4. You’re Drowning Or Battling Large Waves

If you’ve ever had a dream you’re drowning or being thrown around in rough waters, you’re far from alone. It’s a dream that many people have had at one point or another. The Outline noted that overwhelming waves and tsunamis often signify some emotional distress or a strong repressed emotion. If you’re going through a major life change or dealing with an emotional situation, you might dream about getting tossed about in the surf.

5. Everyone Is Laughing At You

Most people don’t enjoy being laughed at, judged, mocked, or made fun of. If this is an anxiety-ridden dream that you’ve experienced once or twice before, you’re definitely not the only one to have done so. “You dream you’re in a musical on Broadway, and everyone is keeping in step with the dance except you or you’re singing a solo and you keep hitting the wrong notes. The audience is laughing at you and you feel humiliated,” Lieberman says. “This dream highlights your insecurities and fears that you embarrass yourself because you’re not on the same page as everyone else, or not how you’re supposed to be.”

6. You’re Scared Of What’s Ahead

It makes sense that you might dream of losing control in anxiety dreams. If you dream of a natural disaster, dying, the end of the world, or anything else that generally spells doom and gloom, Lieberman says that the dream could be trying to get you to pay attention to something big and life-changing that could be on the horizon in your own life. Maybe you’re going to lose a job or maybe your relationship is going to break up, either way, that can result in stressful and anxiety-ridden experiences, at least for a while.

 

7. You’re Naked In Public

The other classic, Snyder says, is that you’ll show up naked in public. She says that a dream like this can, again, be related to you feeling vulnerable, but it can also mean that you’re upset over “losing control of one’s privacy.”

If you’re experiencing a dream like this one, where you’re vulnerable and exposed, what can you do? “I always also encourage people to talk out their anxiety, not right before bed, not in the middle of the night either, and, you know, kind of think out like ‘what is causing me to feel this way?’ and then go from there, rather than kind of having a middle-of-the-night freak out,” Snyder says. “Which we all have, by the way — we all get scared — but ideally one can kind of figure out how to tackle issues and where the anxiety is coming from without having multiple nightmares first.”

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Ambria – Chapter 16 – Atlantic City – Part 4

Sorry…. NSFW

Go here people…

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=562

 

 

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3 REASON’S YOU DON’T HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

A good Relationship is the bedrock of every progress in the life of those that have it. The conversation below belongs to my friends neighbor.

Stewart stormed out of the room with rage and yelling at Emily ‘I told you not to use that road now you can see the outcome’

Emily tried to defend herself ‘The other road was congested with heavy traffic so I decided to use the next available option’.

These are scenes we encounter more especially with very young couple’s trying to blame their partners for one reason or the other. It actually takes the grace of God for such relationships to work.

That’s why this article will expose you to 3 things that can hinder you from having a good and blissful relationship.

Complaining.

Couple that complain over everything don’t go far in their relationship. They complain even without any effort to correct what they are complaining about. Imagine a guy complain that his girlfriend is wasteful with water when there is abundance of water in the house, steady light to keep the water running and the water usage was for washing household items. These complains are energy draining and less meaningful .

Blaming.

The blame game for many is a way of pushing responsibility to each other. Yes we know the man is the breadwinner but today’s contemporary society has relegated that to the background. Women now fend for their families, why blame the man solely if there is nothing in the house .

There is supposed to be a form of collaboration in the family and what a man can do a woman even better.

Giving Excuses.

Many males today use the ‘What a man can do a woman can do even better’ to shield themselves from their responsibilities. Quit giving excuses if you want to have a better relationship. Excuses reduces your worth. It is an indirect nod to failure.

The husband or wife that is filled with taking excuses is never taken seriously.

 

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Ambria – Chapter 15 – Atlantic City – Part 3

Sunday night was amazing. We got down here and her place is great. I did to her what I told her I was going to do. I like to give. She knows what that is and she says she likes to give as well. But we were there in her lovely efficiency at the Ritz Carlton in Atlantic City after our long days of work and the journey here. I want to please her. The cocktails are flowing and the dating is done. She has seen to that. It’s time for the you and me. We’re both tired but our desire is there and I really want to give her a reward before we retire at her lovely place.

I did. I hope she enjoyed it. It sounded like she did but I don’t hear so well when my ears are locked between a pair of caramel thighs.

I do my best and we fall into a satisfied sleep.

I awake the next morning and we’re both tired but want to head out onto the boardwalk in Atlantic City to people watch but get some food and drink.

I drank vodka from 5 to 8 last night before she picked me up. It took the edge off what was happening. The cheating, the new girl, the new place, AC, and the holiday. All nightmares to phicklephilly.

But I will soldier forth and have sex with two different women and love them both equally and make it work. I’m insane. Stop reading this blog now.

 

Lovely Ambria is so affable. So chill. This is a dating blog but it’s been two years and we made love three times that morning before we left the house.

Ambria has told me on our other dates that her fallopian tubes don’t line up so she can never have kids. That’s heartbreaking for everyone except me. I’ve paid $125k in child support to and absolute monster so if the planes are clear to fly with no babies, I’m ready to roll. I will send whatever boys I have left into the valley of joy as many times I can as long they are safe every time.

Ambria can’t get pregnant so I can have the best super sex with her that every man on Earth wants everyday. It’s 4th of July weekend, I’m at a sweet condo with a gorgeous lady that has pretty much brought me here to close, so yes. Let it roll. And roll we do.

We get down to some serious intimate love and we create some new positions.

You all know, when you have amazing sex in the morning your day can never suck after that.  It’s impossible.

Think of it. Oh my God, I got fired today… I did have mad sex this morning with Jennifer Lopez. Ah… I’ll find another job.

Everybody on all of the dating sites on Earth just wants to make mad love to someone who loves them.

That’s it.

I know there’s a whole bunch of responsibility in a relationship. I’m a parent I get it. Shut the fuck up. You all want that electric sex to light up again.

That shit is gone in your life. It ‘s okay. The brightest stars burn out early. Supernovas are so bright and then are gone. Jimi, Janis, Jim, Kurt.

I once talked to a friend of mine why everybody was so fixated on food all of the time, and he said it’s because we can’t have sex all of the time.

That dude may have been right, but he makes a good point. You’re trying to fill that hole in your life with everything else that isn’t real love and sex.

That’s what everybody wants. Don’t lie to yourself.

If you could have that sweet man or woman in your life that you could just be easy with and be yourself with you would love that.  They accept you. You can just hang out and it’s easy. No trouble. A balance.

Beyond the mortgage, the car payments, the utilities and an all of the kid, shit you really dug each other… that would be a solid relationship.

That’s what everybody wants.

Simple.

So here we are. We wake up in the same bed. The space is lovely. It’s here. But I could live in a space like this forever. I see this efficiency as a model for the rest of my life and I’m dead serious. If Lorelei moves out, I’m going to get a place that looks exactly like this.

Thank you Ambria, for clarifying my future housing to me.

Maybe Ambria and I are meant to travel together.

We both decide that we need to clean up and go walk the boardwalk and get some food and drinks.

She allows me to shower first and we are good sex/travel partners. I love to go first.  (The water is hot, and I’m in and out)

What’s great about this room is that is very old hotel room. The shower head has that dial on it that goes from shower stream, to pulsating jets, to sharp skin drilling streams.

I love this feature but feel the pain as the jets hit me in places that laser jets of water shouldn’t hit my genitals like a hose at an early sixties racial uprising.

We’re both happy we have finally consummated our little dating relationship. I mean I hope we have, but I adore Ambria, and this shit is destiny.

Ambria is the architect of this holiday weekend and she’s gotten what she came for. It happened three times this morning and now here we are. We’ve had a lovely. romantic courtship and now we’ve gone to her shore house to have loads of hot sex.

Phicklphilly is a dating blog, but that’s what happened.

Two of my sisters read this blog and I’m sorry Janice and Gabrielle, but I need the followers so I’ll deal with this at Janice’s annual holiday party.

How about we never talk about it ever again and if I show up with an attractive woman at Christmas and just pretend you know nothing. Because you won’t know which one it is and you’ll blow my cover.

 

Lovely Ambria and I wander out onto the Atlantic City Boardwalk. It’s a warm sunny day. A people watching feast.

Time to go find some hot food and some cold beer.

 

 

 

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5 Signs A Broken Relationship Is Still Worth Saving

How could you know if your broken relationship with your partner is worth saving? Is there a sure sign of things being beyond repair? We will look at some of the symptoms of broken relationships that can be revived, and some advice on how to save your relationship.

You and your partner have had your ups and downs, but lately it seems like you’re in a deep one. Not every crisis has to mean the end of a partnership though. All of the time that you’ve put into this pairing is an investment that you want to see a return on. Don’t walk out yet if your broken relationship is still worth saving.

1. YOU STILL TRUST YOUR PARTNER

There cannot be intimacy without trust and there cannot be a good trusting connection without open communication. Open communication is not about nagging or criticism; it is about expressing your feelings so you can both get what you need, and hopefully, what you want from the relationship. If sex has declined, it’s not the end of your relationship. You can still have intimacy without intercourse through touching, and that might build enough trust to lead to being able to have more sex.

2. YOU’VE SURVIVED CHALLENGES WITH RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER

Coming through the fire has made you stronger, not weaker, and your love for each other can still be enough to save the relationship. Read below about the power of touch and positive communication to heal your relationship. You’ve been through some hardships, but you’ve made it through the rough parts by each others’ side.

How your partner handles stress is a great determination of their character and it reveals a lot about them to you. If you survived a challenge and can look at your partner with respect for their courage, composure, and ability to find humor, you are a lucky person because your broken relationship is still worth saving.

3. YOU STILL BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF LOVE TO HEAL

Love is one of the most powerful forces on the planet, and we don’t use it as much as we should. Give hugs, kisses, gentle shoulder rubs, and caresses to your partner as often as you think about wanting to do it. Physical contact helps stimulate the release of oxytocin and that makes couples bond more strongly.

Oxytocin is called ‘The Cuddle Hormone’ for a reason. It helps mother and child bonding, as well as romantic couple bonding. Oxytocin may also help with healing, literal wounds in the body, and with emotional ones also, so hug it out. Researchers looked at couples and their levels of oxytocin while they talked. They found that positive communication patterns where couples could be upbeat with each other had the highest blood levels of oxytocin. The study also found that higher oxytocin levels had the power to heal. You can literally heal your broken heart with oxytocin.

4. YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU ALSO PLAYED A ROLE IN WHATEVER BROKE THE RELATIONSHIP

Maybe you did nothing wrong, but you didn’t believe yourself worthy of love, so you couldn’t truly receive the love that your partner was giving you. Relationshiprules.com has a great way of putting this; ‘open yourself to embrace the fact that the other person is truly and actually madly in love with you and is ready to cross any physical or emotional barrier for you. This moment of clarity is the reality of every strong relationship.’

How can you fix whatever is broken if you won’t acknowledge that it needs to be fixed? There are two people in every relationship and both contribute to the health and security of the partnership. Neither one of you is blameless but neither one of you is completely to blame either. If you say nothing else, say these four sentences to your partner often; ‘I’m sorry.’ ‘Please forgive me.’ ‘Thank you.’ ‘I love you.’

5. IMAGINE YOURSELF SEPARATED

Are you happy or sad thinking about breaking up with your partner? If you are happy, you will be smiling as you think about it. If you’re not smiling, it’s a sign that your broken relationship is still worth saving. A breakup can lead to a major depressive disorder or depression, which is a terrible consequence for your mental and physical health.

Researchers looked at when depression was most likely to develop for teenagers. They found that ‘The severing of a romantic relationship in the past year may set the stage, or at least one stage, for developing MDD (major depressive disorder).’ Depression can kill and it is nothing to brush off. Extreme sadness is common for people going through romantic relationship difficulties. If you feel depressed, seek help sooner rather than later.

 

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Ambria – Chapter 14 – Atlantic City – Part 2

I know what’s going to happen over the next two days. I’m ready, and I hope it goes well and our chemistry continues in a brief domestic space. I am going to her place. I’ve never been there before. I don’t know what to suspect. But I can handle it. It’s a couple of days in Atlantic City with a beautiful young woman. How bad is my life?

I’m munching my sandwich in the Jeep and the trip is rolling along. It’s late, but I don’t care.

“I need a drink after this day.”

“Sounds like a plan, Ambria.”

We finally pull into the parking lot of the Ritz Carlton Residences in AC. This place is glorious. Such history. The summer heat has been upon us in the city for the last week, but as I roll down the window, I catch the vivid fragrance of the sweet sea air. The seashore has been part of my being since childhood, and even though I have just rolled into the dying sin city of the east coast, I smile and breathe deeply. I had forgotten as hot as the city gets it’s always cooler at the shore. That’s part of the reason people come to the seashore. The cool breeze is wonderful.

It’s glorious.

I’m alive.

We park and unload her Jeep. We’re like every other tourist at this moment. Tired, and hauling our gear up to our room. I’m happy to be here. She’s relieved we’re finally here after a long day for both of us. Ambria, says hello to the staff as we make our way to the elevator.

The Ritz-Carlton Hotel Company announced its intention to build a hotel in Atlantic City in 1911. The Ritz-Carlton was designed by New York architect Charles D. Wetmore and constructed by the Thompson-Starrett Company. Opened on June 21, 1921, it was erected at a cost of $6,250,000 (almost $70 million in 2010 dollars), less than the original $8 million projected. Located at the end of Iowa Avenue, the building has 131 feet of Boardwalk frontage, is 222 ft (68 m) tall, and has 18 stories.

At the building’s dedication, hotel president Richard Harris stated “We are out to do business with the average American citizen without regard to race, religion or politics”. But the Ritz-Carlton soon became a haunt for the well-off, the hotel exuding wealth and status. Many features were state-of-the-art or unique among hotels at the time. They included fresh and salt-water faucets for both hot and cold water in each room, an on-site artesian well for spring water, pantries on each landing to speed room service, and elevators with walls of rubber and floors of cork so that bathers’ could bypass the lobby.

The hotel’s restaurants were the Ritz, the Trellis Room, and the Ritz Grill, an outdoor dining terrace overlooking the ocean, and a merry-go-round shaped bar. The Maude Earl Room, a writing room adjoining the parlor, housed rare and antique art.

During the Depression in 1937 the owners defaulted on the mortgage and the Ritz Carlton was reorganized under bankruptcy. The hotel was one of many in the city to be used as military barracks for soldiers in training and recuperation during World War II. After the war it was sold to Schine Hotels in the 1940s and then to Sheraton Hotels in 1959, becoming The Sheraton Ritz-Carlton. The Ritz was converted to an apartment hotel in June 1969. In 1978, an investor group purchased the building intending to convert it to a hotel and casino. However, unfavorable publicity linking it to the Abscam investigation ended that plan. Senator Harrison A. Williams (D-N.J.) told an undercover FBI agent that he could help save the investors $30 million by allowing them to renovate the existing property, rather than building a new one. Williams’ wife was a paid consultant and shareholder in Hardwicke Companies, the majority investor in the project, and Williams expected to receive a $1 million finder’s fee for helping arrange financing for the project. Williams was later convicted on unrelated charges. In 1982, approximately $25 million was spent converting it to 322 residences and six commercial suites, of which some are full-time residences and others are vacation homes. At the same time, the newly re-established Ritz-Carlton Hotel Company paid the building’s owners to abandon use of the Ritz-Carlton name, to avoid confusion with their hotels. The building has operated since then as The Ritz Condominiums.

We get to the room and it’s perfect. A classic seashore efficiency. I think if Lorelei didn’t live with me in Rittenhouse, if I could find a place like this, I’d do it. I walk through the door, and the air conditioning is already on. To my left is a big row of closets. Plenty of storage. To my right is a sweet little kitchenette. Refrigerator, microwave mounted to the cabinetry, a stove, sink, cutlery drawers and lower cabinets for whatever else. There’s a cream-colored convertible sofa. The queen-sized bed is off to my right against the wall beyond the kitchenette.

There is an easy chair to my left which looks really comfy, and is parked in front of a 36″ flat screen TV. By the window is a little table with two chairs. I open the blinds and from her window I have a lovely northern view of the boardwalk and the Atlantic Ocean.

This place is absolutely perfect.

“What made you choose a place in AC?”

“Well we both know that Atlantic City is struggling right now so I got this place for a song and this is a town that enjoys adult fun and I don’t like kids.”

“Good call.”

I start mixing the cocktails. This place is great. I make myself a vodka club, and she says make her a screwdriver.

“Do you want a single or a double and do you want straight up or rocks?”

“Use my crazy flavored vodka and just put the OJ in for color”

Ok. Baby wants to get her drunk on.

That happens and we have a wonderful time. I think about how the first time I kissed Ambria. When We really kissed passionately outside the Ranstead Room.

That girlfriend kiss.

Ambria told me that night that she was a giver and a pleaser. She’s a nurse, I get it. I told her I wanted to give to her first and I did that after a few drinks that first night. I’m assuming her squeals of delight were a positive review.

 

 

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What Men Should Know About Women Before They Make a Move

Here’s another great pot from one of my female followers. Thank you! I thought it was worth sharing.

Enjoy!

 

Women…we are beautiful creatures, because we make this world beautiful and colorful.

Men believe that we are from another planet, since our thoughts and characters are completely different from each other. And they are kind of right…

Women do not know what it means to be “normal”.

We just know what it means to be “ourselves”. Some men (and maybe even most men) do not know how to build a happy and lasting relationship with women. What is the reason?

They prefer to look at our beautiful surfaces, but not on our souls. They do not know what we are on the inside.

Moreover, they do not want to know us better. Too difficult for them.

What does a woman need?

Every woman wants to love and be loved. Love gives us wings… and we do not want anyone to break them.

We want reciprocity in a relationship with a man – spiritual, physical, mental.

We do not want to be used by men in their own interests.

We want pure love, but not a one night stand.

Do you know what our mistake is? We all are too gullible. Therefore, many women make mistakes, linking their lives with the wrong men. We open up, but they break our wings… A woman is ready to love wholeheartedly and give everything to her man. If you are a player, you do not deserve to be with this woman.

To be with a woman is not so difficult, you just need to swim in the same flow with her. You must be her own supporter and defender.

You must listen to her… even her crazy stories. Every woman dreams of her own superhero. So what’s stopping you from becoming it? Just feel her love, and let her feel your love too. Be her Superman.

All women are unique. But we are bound by one thing – we want to be loved and happy. We are not pets that do not live their own lives. We should not justify your expectations, men. We are who we are. Just try to see something more than a beautiful surface. And you will be happy.

“Imagine meeting someone who understood even the dustiest corners of your mixed-up soul” – Unknown.

We all should want everyone to know and experience true love. It is out there for everyone and until it knocks on your door we are here to remind you that you deserve the best love! You can help us spread this love by sharing this with those around you and letting us know what you think in the comments below.

 

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