Kita – Chapter 32 – Locked and Loaded

“I’m sad about the loss of the nostalgic love I had with him. We’ve obviously grown apart.”

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She comes into the salon and as always I’m delighted to see my little China doll.

I’m so fickle. I love so many women. Cherie’s my girlfriend, but I hardly see her due to our schedules. I want to stay with her and I like this arrangement. I’m sure she’s not happy about it, but I like the idea of having a girlfriend that isn’t around much. It just works great for me. Just ‘greatest hits’ and gone. Then back again for more a month later. It’s always glorious to be with Cherie, but I love my freedom to work and be with my friends and my alone time.

I have another gift for Kita. But she starts the conversation first.

“I texted JR.”

I look away and grimace.

“No wait. Let me tell you what happened, Charles.”

“I’m listening.”

“I just asked him how he was doing and he got combative right away. I was like, how are you? and he said, ‘can’t you see on Instagram?’ I don’t follow him on any social media.”

“That’s good. You shouldn’t. Don’t look at that stuff, it’ll make you crazy.”

“So my friend who didn’t know we were broken up asked me why JR is posting all these pictures with some girl that’s not me. I told her we had split and she said the girl isn’t so hot, and it’s his loss.”

“Obviously. You’re beautiful, kind and sweet, Kita. He’s a manipulative idiot that squandered the best person in his life.”

“Thank you, Charles. So he said he moved on because I took up with Steve and that forced him to move on. It really made me mad because I only started talking to Steve because JR was doing what he did for all of last year.” (See her record in my previous post about Kita)

“Exactly. He’s trying to turn it around like you left him and took up with someone from his crappy neighborhood, and he’s butt hurt about it now that he can no longer control you. He abandoned you, Kita. He’s an asshole.”

“Yea, I was just trying to do the adult thing and be civil to him and maybe get some closure, and he started in on me trying to make me feel guilty when that simply isn’t the case. He’s a punk and I’m done with him. Steve was my rebound and I’m done with him too, but I’m not going to talk to JR anymore. The way he behaved on the phone shows me who he really is and even though I’m sad about the loss of the nostalgic love I had with him, we’ve obviously grown apart.”

“You’re correct in your thinking, Kita. You’ve grown out of his juvenile controlling, insecure behavior. He’s a child. You said yourself, you hate boys. I know they suck, but it gets better. TIME takes care of everything. I promise. I’ve been through a lot. Pain and heartbreak is a natural process we all have to go through at some point and it’s how we learn to cope with loss.”

“You’re right. Thank you. Do you have any snacks?”

I go and get my stash. and hand her the box full of cereal bars.

“Mmm… Oatmeal raisin!” She says as she happily bites into the bar.

I love feeding her and taking care of her.

“I have something for you.”

Her lovely eyes light up. “Ooh… what is it?”

I hand her this:

“Ohhh! Awesome! Thank you! My mom is going to be so happy when I tell her you gave me this!”

As she’s reading the instruction on the back of the package, I smile and my mind drifts to an imaginary conversation with her father the Admiral.

“Kita, I don’t know how comfortable I am with my 21 year old daughter hanging around with some middle aged man from a tanning salon. You’re going out to dinner with him and spending an exorbitant amount of time with this man.”

“He’s a dad with a daughter my age who has lived him since she was 18. He gave me this last week. (Shows dad the pepper spray) That’s the first thing he gave his daughter when she came to live in Philly.”

“Approved. Spend all the time you want with him. He sounds like my kinda guy.”

My active and creative mind also cruises into another fantasy sequence…

“Kita. I love you and have strong feelings for you. You know that. The more time you spend with me the more my feelings will grow for you. I know you’re a young woman of great virtue and want to retain your maidenhood. But one day you’ll be skipping through the woods bringing a picnic basket full of goodies to your grandma. I’ll emerge from the darkness and reveal to you the wolf I truly am. (I hand Kita the pepper spray) This… is for that day.”

Funny, right? I’m the one Kita needs to worry about. But all kidding aside. I never operate like that. If she comes to me… When she comes to me, she will do so willingly and yield to me. That’s how it always is in my life. I never take. It’s always handed over to me in mutual celebration.

I dream of that day. I think of her asleep in my arms. I smell her hair as I’m nestled behind her like a spoon. My mind recalling the night before of passionate, searing lovemaking the like she’s never felt.

Back to reality…

“Here let me show you how it works, dear.”

I show her how to hook the unit to her key chain. I hold her dainty hand in mine and guide it to the quick release button to separate the pepper spray unit from the key chain. I then show her how to hold it and how to simply slide the safety to the right to engage the unit.

She’s holding it.

“It’s now armed, Kita. Press down on the trigger and fire it in a horizontal, back and forth motion across the assailants eyes. It will immobilize your attacker and give you time to get away quickly and call 911.”

She presses down on the trigger and the unit shoots a tight stream of the police grade pepper spray 10 feet away at the wall.

“Ooohh! Wow! That really works! Thank you, Charles! I got it. I’m ready!”

“Keep that with you at all times, Kita. You’re only five feet tall. You’re small and someone may think they can take you. You hit them across the eyes with that, and they will be temporarily blinded with searing pain in their eyes and it’ll give you time to get away. I care about you and don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“You’re so amazing, Charles. I’m so glad I met you.”

She grabs me and hugs me. Kissing my face and lips.

I love this. (And hope she never has to use it on me…

Kidding! It’ll be the last thing on her mind if…. WHEN she comes to me.)

We’re making progress…

 

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Kita – Chapter 31 – The Realization and Clarity of My Advice

“He ignored me for two weeks without a reason.
Then he came back.”

I recently told Kita to write down her feelings in regard to her ex boyfriend, JR. She’s still reeling from the pain of the breakup and I know that writing this blog has helped me work out all of my thoughts and feelings. You can think about these things. You can talk to other people about what happened. But when you write it down it sort of gets it out of you and lays all of your thoughts onto the paper in front of you. You can see the whole event in a single snapshot.

Kita took my advice and did just that. I’m really proud of her. Below is what she wrote.

Pretty clear picture, right? This guy obviously sucks and is an immature moron.

But here’s the thing. What if she’s the problem and not JR? I’ve known Kita a few months now, and I’ve learned quite a bit about her. Let’s review.

  1. Has no idea how to navigate love and loss
  2.  Has been taking anti-depression medication since she was 16 years old
  3. Texts way too much
  4. Overthinks things constantly
  5. Clingy
  6. She’s 5’0″ and thinks her ideal weight should be 96 lbs. (She recently went to the doctor to renew her prescription and he weighed her and she is 106 lbs. and she’s freaking out about it.
  7. Always saying how she’s so pale. (She is one of the darkest tanned people that come to this salon!)
  8. Works out every day. (Too much)
  9. Doesn’t eat enough and eats the wrong things.
  10. Self Absorbed. (If it’s not about her, it’s not discussed)

I can see how between all of that and can’t even go out and have a drink. So to me overall she’s pretty boring.

But I adore her anyway.

I know.  She’s beautiful. I’m fickle, and I’m falling for her.

Hard.

 

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Kita – Chapter 30 – What Kind of Men do Asian Women go for?

Kita

If you’re a western guy and you’re interested in dating a girl from Asia, what are they looking for? I believe that all women are different but there are a few characteristics in Western men that I think Asian women are attracted to.

Number one: Kindness. The ‘nice guys finish last’ concept doesn’t apply to Asian women. In fact, it would be a real disadvantage if you tried to treat them with a lack of decency. Most western women will play games, deliberately making men wait before calling or texting back. But Asian women will be constantly in touch with you and will expect you to call them frequently. The more you call them, or be in communication, the more they will like you.

Number two: Men with a normal body shape. I mean, not the kind of gym-toned physique that is held up as the ideal shape among western men. I’m basing this solely on the guys I see dating Asian women. Now, maybe they are as attracted to these gym rats as Western women are, but it doesn’t seem this way, and I very rarely see someone with bulging biceps with an Asian woman.

Number three: Unattractive, or plain, homely looking men. Maybe Asian women have  a different aesthetic when it comes to standards of male attractiveness, but I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve noticed the imbalance of physical attractiveness in a White male/Asian female couple. The kind of guys who get nowhere with women from their own country are able to get with out and out knockouts. I’ll keep talking about this until I start seeing a less attractive Asian woman with a more attractive white guy, but I haven’t yet. By the way, Korean-American comedian Margaret Cho has a great gag about very attractive Asian women with ugly white guys. You can watch it here:  

Number four: Being an intellectual. In other words, you can be a geek, and it won’t be held against you. Why it would be a problem I don’t know. But most western women don’t care, so what can you expect? I feel that I’m not judged by Asian women if I prefer to stay in and read or learn a language instead of going out.

I think I got a real shot with Kita…

 

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Kita – Chapter 29 – Sweet and Sexy

“I’m going to see a shrink.”

“Why?”

“To help me deal with my depression over losing JR.”

“Okay. Well I’m sure it’ll help. It’s a tough time, and your friends and family can only do so much. It’s always good to get professional help when you can.”

“Yea. Do you have any snacks?”

“I do sweetheart. Let me get them from their hiding place.”

“Hiding place?”

“Yea. I have to hide any food I have here at the salon from Achilles. Anything he finds around the salon he eats. He can’t help it. He just loves to eat. There’s a secret little drawer in the back cabinet and I hid my snacks in there under some bags.”

“You’re funny!”

I return with an array of cereal bars she can choose from. She picks one and happily munches on it.

I love giving things to Kita. I like helping people in general, but it helps if you’re an adorable little Asian chick. I have a few more surprises for her today. I’m always trying to figure out new ways to improve her tanning experience. I hand her this:

“Ooooh! Sweet & Sexy! For me? Thank you! I love it! You’re so good to me Charles!”

Like our Kita, the lotion is sweet and sexy! I think it’s perfect for her. She’s never used a “hot” bronzer before. We call them tingle bronzers because they make your skin tingle when exposed to ultraviolet light.

There are all kinds of tanning lotions on the market. Perhaps you have used a few for yourself while out at the beach, inside at the tanning salon or simply to get a “tan” look. One very popular tanning lotion is the tingle tanning lotion. What’s so great about tingle tanning lotion you ask?

The reason these lotions are called tingle tanning is that they give a tingling sensation on your skin after you apply the lotion; hence the name. It’s certainly more intense than other tanning lotions on the market. What the lotion does is bring blood to the skin surface and, essentially, oxygen to affect the skin’s melanin. The more melanin that’s affected, the darker your skin is going to become. Basically the purpose to tingle tanning lotions is to boost the effects of UV rays you expose yourself to when lying in a tanning bed. Ultimate-inferno-tingle-lotion

Yes, your skin’s going to be red for approximately one hour after you tan. The redness is similar to a sunburn. However, the redness will fade and you’ll be fine.

What does it all mean? Basically, the lotion’s ingredients, Methyl Nicotinate or Benzyl, are designed to bring more oxygen into the skin by increasing the circulation of blood in your body as well as the increase the amount of oxygen on the surface of the skin. So, tingle tanning lotions are designed for people who want deep tans or have difficulty getting a tan.

Some folks give up on using tingle tanning lotions because of the sensation it gives. Some users have complained that the lotion is painful or uncomfortable. Other users have not made any complaints against this kind of lotion. It’s all depending on how rough your skin is and how high your pain level tolerance is. Everybody’s different, which means what you get from the experience could be different from your friends.

However, if you do endure whatever pain, if any, you will get the end result that the tingle tanning lotions are designed to do…give you tan skin!

If you can handle the temporary burning sensation you will come out of the bed looking darker.

When Kita comes out after her session she looks in the mirror. “Oh my God! I’m darker!”

She loves being dark as I’ve said before.

Baby’s happy.

“Thank you so much! You’re always taking good care of me!”

She hugs me tightly.  I feel her breasts compress against my chest. Then she places her hand on my cheeks and pulls my lips to hers. They are ripe, moist and yield to mine. It was a firm smooch but brief so as not to be discovered by a random client.

She smiles and I melt in her almond eyes. She grasps my hand and squeezes. “I have to go work on a presentation.”

Her hand slips away and she’s gone.

*Sigh…

 

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Kita – Chapter 28 – Hair Done & No Fun

Today is the Saturday I wanted to take Kita to Dave and Buster’s but it was the only day she could schedule her hair appointment. So I will continue to pursue her to get some fun in her life. I’m just floating around the city when I get a text.

“Hey, Charles. Look at my hair now.”

“You look like Storm from the X-Men.”

“Hahahaha”

“It’s like a silver head dress!”

“So happy I’m going blonder!!!”

“It’s going to look so awesome! I’m running some errands in the area. Need a Frappuccino?”

“I ate a banana recently, but thank you! It’s too cold outside to be running errands.”

“Yay! Bananas are better for you than coffee drinks. Oh, and it’s not too bad out now.”

Hours later…

“I talked to Achilles about working there! I want to do it. I am just looking at logistics with my classes and me going away for breaks. My classes are different so I’m making my schedule next week, so I’ll have a decision by then ok? Also, thank you for the Honey Grow card. (Smiley emoji)”

“Sounds great. No worries. We’ll work with your schedule. Take your time working out. You’re welcome! I knew the one person that could put that card to good use!”

An hour later…

“Can you make sure Achilles knows I’m still pondering it? I feel like he thinks I told him 100% yes. I brought up the schedule thing but I think he thought differently. Oh yea, I used the Honey Grow card today and it was delicious!”

“I’ll talk to him Monday. He and I already have decided to split the schedule between the two of us until we find someone. We’re going to open the gym in December so I may take more of his shifts while he runs the gym. Don’t stress, Kita. Take your time and we’ll figure it out.

Two hours later…

“Thanks Charles. I fell asleep. I’m exhausted for no reason.”

“I’m sure you’re tired, Kita. Big day. Hours at the salon creating the perfect blonde highlights! I hope you like it.”

“I do, I’m just so dead right now. And the weather and darkness so early never helps. Haha.”

“I get it. I just wrote an article for the salon that we’re going to send out to our members about Seasonal Affective Disorder. We worked on it today and I know it’s important that we communicate with our clients about the importance of how we can help them.”

“That’s awesome! Yeah, it really does affect your moods/emotions.”

“It’s paramount that we communicate the importance of controlled UV emissions to our clients for their well being during these cold, dark winter months in the Northeast. I’m glad you get it.”

“Yes because it definitely helps!!!”

“Well we’re here for you to absorb your power through our light! I’m going to do a stand up session before I start work tomorrow. Oh, and I have some new ideas to get you darker!!!”

“Thank you!!! (Smiley emoji) Thank goodness for tanning! And what are your ideas?”

“I have a special lotion, (Only for you my #1) and I want to try a 12 minute over exposure session and see what that does. Always creative.”

“Oh my! A special lotion???? The tingling one?”

“Yes! But it has a very gentle tingling vanilla and chocolate scent that I’m giving only to you. Always working hard for my Yelp reviews.”

“Wow sounds delicious!!! Hahah.”

 

By then it was almost midnight, so we both went to sleep.

Thing was, I wish she were sleeping next to me.

 

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 27 – Those Who Frequent Tanning Beds Are Likely To Be Addicted (To Things Other Than Tanning Beds)

Kita loves tanning. Her parents want her to focus on her education and not get a job. They’re paying for her to go to college and have her on an allowance. Her mom even gives her extra money to pay for better groceries so she maintains her health. I offered her a job here when we lost Summer. (See: Sun Stories: Summer – Summer is Slipping Away) She said she would LOVE to work at this salon but she’d have to see. I’m assuming she has to check with the parents. I gave her what her schedule would be and that she’d be getting FREE tanning. She said she’d think about it. Thing is, if she did start to work here she’d be work shifts opposite of me, so I’d never see her. Kinda sucks.

I didn’t think she’d be able to work here, but lately she seems more interested in making it happen. But if she works here and can tan for free will she tan every day? (See: Kita – 2017 to Present – Addicted to Tanning?) I need to do some more research.

Now that the general populace is more aware of how wonderful and beneficial prolonged exposure to UV rays is (if you’re a developing malignant melanoma), tanning salons aren’t quite as popular as they once were. And yet there are somehow still plenty of people who regularly strip down, put on those weird tiny glasses, and go under the lamps. Why do they still engage in an activity that’s so objectively self-destructive? Well, a lot of the time, according to research, it’s because they’re sad drunks and/or junkies.

It’s unclear what motivated the eggheads at Yale to study the self-destructive tendencies of orange people (it’s not like that has any relevance to, say, world peace or anything), but this they did, only to reach the conclusion that those who display a “tanning dependence” are also prone to other forms of addiction. Like a sixfold tendency toward alcoholism, and a five times greater chance of having an accompanying “exercise addiction.”

Plus, it stands to reason that people who pay money to climb into a contraption which provides fake sunlight are also three times as likely to suffer from seasonal affective disorder (which, with the initials S.A.D., enjoys the most convenient acronym in psychiatric history).

Yes, pointing out that people with addictive tendencies tend to be addicted to more than one thing may not be the most revolutionary discovery made so far this century. The hope, however, is that the findings will help spur the development of inventions that might help those who are compelled to overdo their UV exposure to the point where they look like a vintage purse golem before they’re devoured by skin cancers. What kind of inventions? Only time will tell. Hopefully not a machine where you stuff in coins, pull on a lever, and hope various fruits line up the right way. Or anything to do with starting nuclear conflicts.

I don’t want cute little Kita to get destroyed from tanning! What’ll I do?

 

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Kita – Chapter 26 – Round and Round – Part 2

“Kita, I’ve asked myself the same quastion several times. It’s because we’re good people with good hearts and we give and believe in people. But unfortunately we sometimes make choices that aren’t right for us and we get hurt. But we learn from that and go forth stronger and better. Worked for me. I believe in you Kita.”

“Yeah. It’s a good trait that we have. It just sucks for us if it doesn’t end up working out. Thank you!!!”

“As a friend I am sorry this is happening to someone I care about but this is how we grow as people.”

“It’s definitely one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in my life. I know once I’m over it, I’ll look back and be so happy. It’s just getting there.”

“I’m sad for you, Kita but you’ll come out on the other side of this experience stronger and more wise.”

“I’m sad too. I really loved him and just wanted to make him happy. But we’re not good together.”

You’re right in your thinking, Kita. You’re already curing yourself. Just take some time and center yourself. Hold on dear. I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be okay! Thank you though. I’m just going through some rough times.”

 

And it ends there…for now.

 

My girl has some issues. She’s struggling with the obvious loss of a long term and very deep love to her. She’s confused and lost. Why else would she be spinning like this right now. It has to be horrible. You’re in love with someone and then they leave you. This blog has been about that. I get it. If you’ve been following it, I went through that with Annabelle and it was awful. That was five years ago for me and of course after two years I was fine. But it took two years! Kita has the capacity even as a young girl to love very deeply. I know it’s alien to her to feel this way but I am all to familiar with the bitter burn and searing pain of lost love. It’s like the withdrawal symptoms from coming off drugs.

I’ve got my circle of friends and family. I’m fine now. I cut all of the crazy people out of my life and keep the borderline ones at arms length or in small doses. I can manage that.

But Kita has no idea to navigate that. It’s killing her, poor thing. Sadly she’ll just have to ride it out like we all have. Each and every one of us.

I’m doing everything I can to support her during this dark period. People need that and I’m in a position to do that now.

No more crazies. Just good people that are wounded and need me right now. I’m ready to offer whatever they need. If I charged by the hour I’d be a wealthy man.

But as long as I’m here on this Earth, if I can help people get through their pain and move forward with their lives then that’s what I’m going to continue to do.

I believe in you Kita. I love you. You don’t know it, but I do in my own way. I’ll get you through this. But sometimes I just feel like we’re going round and round.

Right now, Kita just needs my presence. Not my presents.

 

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