Stashing Might Be The Worst Dating Trend Yet

You might have been ghosted, breadcrumbed, or paperclipped. But have you ever been stashed? Even if you haven’t heard the term, you might be familiar with the experience. “Stashing” is what you call it when you date someone who’s happy to spend time with you one-on-one — but they never introduce you to their friends or family. More often than not, their social media profiles don’t show any evidence that you exist. Used in a sentence, you’d tell your friend, “It’s been two months and I haven’t met a single one of his friends yet. I think he’s stashing me.”

 

Stashing is insidious because it’s pretty normal to focus on one-on-one time when you first start dating. Early on, you probably don’t think twice about this behavior. But as time goes on, your partner’s excuses for keeping your relationship weirdly private start to get more far-fetched.
His parents are in town but they’re too busy to see you because they’ve… got to go shopping. You can’t meet her friends because she doesn’t have a plus one… to happy hour. When you post a cute photo of the pair of you to your main Instagram grid, they simply share an Instagram Story that shows the bottle of wine you’re sharing… and they tag their local wine shop, but not you.
We have Metro UK writer Ellen Scott to thank for coining this oh-so-useful dating term back in 2017. Her definition: “Stashing is a super fun dating trend in which someone is dating someone else, but has decided to hide them away from everyone in their life… A victim of stashing is hidden from every other part of the stasher’s life – from their tagged photos to their casual chats with their parents. Why? Because that way, they’re able to pretend that they’re not really dating the person they’re stashing, meaning they can justify getting with other people, doing whatever they fancy, and being generally inconsiderate and awful.”
The term clearly resonated, because it was quickly covered by Cosmopolitan, the New York Post, and even the Today Show. And today, the behavior, if not the word, is getting new attention thanks to a TikTok trend. In it, people lip sync to a 2016 parody song by comedy rap duo Emmanuel and Phillip Hudson, “Questions Part 3,” while scrolling through an Instagram feed (often a celebrity’s, but sometimes someone they’re actually involved with).
The song begins: “I just think it’s funny, we’ve been talking for so long but no one knows I exist / I was scrolling through your IG, why we ain’t got no pics / You tryna keep us a secret, why you ain’t posting me? / Oh I get it, you don’t want your other hoes to see.” Sounds like stashing, all right.
While being stashed can make you suspect your partner is dating other people and trying to keep you in the dark, it is possible something less nefarious is going on. Maybe your partner just moved to your city and they don’t have many friends or family nearby to introduce you to in the first place.
Still, if you think you’re being “stashed” and it bothers you, ask your partner about it. Say something like, “I’d love to meet your friends,” and see how they respond. Think of it as something like the define the relationship talk. While it’s probably nerve-wracking to have the conversation, in the end, at least you’ll know where you stand. And if that doesn’t work, you can always make a TikTok about it.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

Women Are Growing Out Their Body Hair For ‘JANUHAIRY’ To Raise Funds To Tackle Climate Change

Women are ‘growing out their [body] hair to clear out the air’ as part of ‘Januhairy’, which this year is raising funds to fight climate change and restore natural habitats.

The campaign was launched last January and aims to ‘encourage the acceptance of body hair on women’ while also raising money for charity.

View this post on Instagram

Three days in to the world wide #januhairy movement, combating social pressures on what it means to be a ‘Woman’, or any identity for that matter, whilst raising money for @treesisters_official 🌱 protecting and restoring our natural habitat, as well as our bodies. How is your januhairy going so far? ‘Wait what? It’s januhairy 3rd already? Damn, isn’t it too late to join in?’ Umm NO OF COURSE NOT 🎉This is all about your individual experiences within the empowering community of Januhairy! Start now, start next week; you’re still spreading our message and challenging yourself and, in turn, fucking with the patriarchy… Visit ‘januhairy . org’ (without the spaces) for more info on the movement and the charity involved. Photo from @neonmoon whose products we are very excited to be involved with in our upcoming photo shoot! ’Waaat? A photo shoot? Wow!’. Yup, we are hosting a Januhairy photo shoot this weekend in London celebrating all beautiful hairy bodies!! There will for sure be a few little teasers on our stories all throughout the day, so keep your eyes peeled 👀 Hairy hugs!

A post shared by Januhairy (@januhairy) on

It was founded by Laura Jackson, who got the idea while she was a drama student at Exeter University and was growing her own body hair out for a performance. Since then, it has grown into an international campaign and this year it is raising money for charity TreeSisters, which works to protect forests and fund reforestation.

This year’s campaign was announced in a Facebook post that read: “A very hairy new year to you all!! Today marks the first day of #januhairy2020 where women all over the world come together to drop our razors for the month of January.

“The focus may be on women, but this movement includes all genders and identities. Let’s educate one another on ALL experiences within this ‘prickly’ subject.

“Our charity focus this year is to support TreeSisters in protecting, restoring and funding reforestation… We envision a world in which it is normal for everyone to protect and restore themselves and their world, a plight we resonate with as women, to protect and restore our personal natural habitats!

“If you are not personally joining in with Januhairy this year, I encourage you to talk about the it with others; if we see the same things again and again, it becomes normal.

“I hope the new year has wonderful things in store for each and every one of you!”

View this post on Instagram

Just over a week to go until #januhairy 2020! Are you thinking of taking up any challenges next month? Dry January? Veganuary? Why not try joining in with the many women around the world taking part in Januhairy! Januhairy is a project which has grown into (pun intended!) a wonderful community that empowers women globally, whilst also tackling the imminent issue of climate change that we are all facing together. This year we are raising money for the wonderful @treesisters_official in order to help regrow our planet whilst also battling stereotypes that we face every day. Disposable plastic razors contribute to the enormous issue of single use plastics polluting our Earth, so why not drop the razor, raise some money for a wonderful charity, whilst joining a loving and supportive community of women taking part. There is still time to get involved, so keep an eye out for our website launching tomorrow, as well as JANUHAIRY MERCH which will be coming very soon! We cant wait to embark on this challenge with you – let’s grow out our hair to clear the planet’s air! – photo by @topxrahman 🌿

A post shared by Januhairy (@januhairy) on

You can donate to the TreeSisters fundraiser here.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

Teen Vogue’s Most Disgusting, Explicit Material Of 2019

This is the last thing I want to post from last year…

Although Teen Vogue can no longer be found in grocery stores and newsstands, their polished, obscene brand of smut persists and remains available to any child with internet access.

2019 has been a big year for the publication to become increasingly legitimized as a source of journalism, given the unceasing advance of leftism in politics, but the real meat and potatoes of the online publication is its pornographic sex ed-style how-to guides.

Teen Vogue first caught the eye—and the flame—of Elizabeth Johnston, the Activist Mommy, back in 2017 when they printed a sickening guide to anal sex for tweens and teens.

On Christmas Day this year, we reported that they revived that article, offering their readers an Anal Sex 101 guide. The details are far too graphic to repeat yet again, but suffice it to say that the article literally teaches its 11- to 17-year-old readers all about the mechanics and purported joys of sodomy.

The magazine also closed out the year with a thorough guide, complete with trendy watercolor illustrations, to female anatomy, and a gift guide for readers’ “horniest” friends. Because that’s exactly what teens need, apparently.

Believe it or not, these aren’t the worst stories to come out of this digital rag.

Here’s a round-up of the absolute worst content to come out of Teen Vogue in 2019, proving once again that they’re long overdue for a shut-down:

“When Is It Safe to Send a Partner Nude Photos?”

Some of the most obscenely immoral content to come out of Teen Vogue comes from writer Nona Willis Aronowitz’ column, Down To Find Out, which launched back in May and aims to answer readers’ “biggest questions about sex, dating, relationships, and all the gray areas in between.”

Its inaugural entry, a guide on “safe sexting,” celebrates that sending nude photos to “admirers” is now expected and commonplace. Aronowitz gives an intimate guide on how to execute the best nudes as a form of “radical self-acceptance,” telling readers to “Get very familiar with yourself. Pose in the mirror, caress your silhouette, know your naked angles…”

Imagine your child’s school counselor suggested nude selfies as a means of overcoming body image issues. You’d want their head on a spike, and rightfully so, and yet it is somehow perfectly fine for a complete stranger to offer this advice to children on the internet?! Come on!!

“Why Sex Work Is Real Work”

Back in April, Teen Vogue published a guest op-ed from Dr. Tlaleng Mofokeng, a “reproductive justice” advocate working to bring sexual revolution to South Africa. Mofokeng declares that the rights of prostitutes are “women’s rights, health rights, labor rights, and the litmus test for intersectional feminism.”“So, what exactly is sex work,” Mofokeng asks. “Not all sex workers engage in penetrative sex, though, undeniably, that is a big part of sex work. Sex-worker services between consenting adults may include companionship, intimacy, nonsexual role playing, dancing, escorting, and stripping. These roles are often pre-determined, and all parties should be comfortable with them.”

She goes on to urge readers to “support the global demand for sex work decriminalization, and fund evidence and rights-based intersectional programs aimed at sex workers and their clients.”

“Having Sex When You’re Fat: Tips on Positions, Props, and Preparation”

“Yes, fat people have sex — and it’s great,” writes “certified sex educator” Elle Chase, rounding out the inclusivity with an article on the right of overweight people to enjoy sex.

While addressing the issue of body image can be an edifying way to point young girls to their true worth in Christ, not their own beauty, Teen Vogue predictably steers the premise into a smutty, desensitizing ditch.

Along with tips and tricks on pillow placement and sex toys, Chase gives readers a run-down on basic sex positions and their dynamics for overweight couples. “…Don’t let the size of your body stop you from trying any position that floats your boat,” she encourages readers. “You may need to refine the position to better fit your needs, but there’s nothing wrong with that,” she concludes, giving readers the retch-inducing reminder that “We all deserve to f*** our fat hearts out.”

“How to Get an Abortion If You’re a Teen”

While the other articles may be disgusting and immoral, the last item on our list is downright evil. In Aronowitz’ Down To Find Out column, she helped her young readers navigate the dangerous waters of obtaining an abortion without parental knowledge or consent.

“First of all, I’m here to tell you that you have nothing to be ashamed of,” Aronowitz writes. “Accidents can happen even to the most careful among us. And it’s only logical that if teens are mature enough to become parents, they are mature enough to decide whether or not they want to give birth. Having access to abortion should be your right, regardless of your parents’ beliefs.”

Now, to be perfectly clear, no parent should “consent” to their child having an abortion—effectively murdering their own grandchild—to begin with. Parents who do allow or pressure their young daughters to kill their babies are an abomination. That’s all there is to it.

But, thanks to Aronowitz’s guide, children across the nation are equipped to take advantage of laws allowing them to procure an abortion on their own, regardless of their mental capacity as children to understand or consent to the procedure. This is to say nothing of the danger children are placed in when they receive an inherently risky procedure in secret. To put it quite plainly, Aronowitz has blood on her hands for every child who receives an abortion without parental knowledge, suffers, and possibly even dies from complications of the procedure.

This article was even published via SnapChat, a social media app incredibly popular with young people, allowing children to access the information without Teen Vogue showing up in their browser search history for parents to see.

There is no reason on this green earth why any child should have access to material like this. Teen Vogue serves no purpose whatsoever beyond grooming and desensitizing children to obscene sex, prostitution, pornography, and abortion. It is well past time to put an end to this sickening publication.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

Viewing smut doesn’t affect your sexual ability, but here’s what does…

Perhaps you’ve heard that if you (ahem) “enjoy” too many adult videos, it’ll make arousal difficult. Well, sex researcher Nicole Prause is here to tell you — that’s a gosh darn lie.

Prause studies human sexual behavior, addiction and the physiology of sexual response, and in a recent article, she wrote, “Seven independent labs have been unable to find an association between time spent viewing sex films and experiencing more erectile difficulties with a partner.”

Looking at previous sex studies, Prause found that sexual images and sex itself activate entirely different regions of the brain. For example, being touched by another person stimulates brain regions associated with socializing and sex. Watching someone else being stroked or stroking yourself doesn’t.

“Pictures of sex are not sex,” she writes. That is, the mere watching of adult videos can’t possibly account for a person’s lack of interest or physical response to sex. Rather, she found that masturbation is likely to be the cause for men’s non-arousal.

This may sound like a no-brainer, but it’s an important distinction because few studies on smut-viewing and sexual response actually take masturbation into account — they assume that triple-X films alone are to blame for lower arousal. But if you watch Man-Slammerz in a lab without touching yourself, you’d probably run home to hump your honey(s) afterwards. Watching alone wouldn’t reduce your desire.

But you know what does affect your ability to get hard? Alcohol, medications, tiredness and anxiety, and a lack of sexual interest in partner(s). In fact, all of these often compel people to watch adult videos in the first place, she says, and all of them affect your ability to stay erect during intercourse. If your partner values non-penetrative sex or blames you for not getting hard — projecting their own insecurities on you — that’ll affect your wood as well.

She quotes Olympic fencer Jason Rogers:

“Most men think they should be able to snap their fingers, immediately get an erection, and perform like a champ. But sex is a complicated physiological and psychological process and virtually all men have struggled with this in the past. So cut yourself some slack.”

Blaming adult videos for a lack of arousal may actually drive some men away from them, when videos could in fact help them better understand their bodies, fantasies and sexual responses.

Rather than blaming smut for a lack of arousal, Prause says, “having open conversations about sex, admitting unusual sexual preferences, finding a partner who is supportive, and exploring fears about our own sexual body” can all help guys better understand their bodies much better than merely avoiding another viewing of Latex Bottomz Vol. 4.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

Real-life Philly Horror Stories: 4 Tales of True Crime from a Former City Medical Examiner

Real-life Philly horror stories: 4 tales of true crime from a former city medical examiner

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

‘Who’s buying sex in Center City on lunch break?’ Bill takes aim at sex trafficking at massage parlors

Behind darkened doors, barred windows, or surveilled entrances, thousands of massage parlors hiding exploited sex workers are operating across the country. But lately, in some cities, more of the visitors knocking on their doors are inspectors.

In San Francisco, 150 illicit massage businesses have been shut down since 2015 largely thanks to enforcement of a new municipal code. A toughened ordinance led to the shutdown of 38 businesses in Houston within a year.

And nationwide, at least 13 cities have proposed new ordinances since a report in January documented the operation of more than 9,000 illicit massage businesses in the U.S. — establishments that are commonly used as fronts for sex trafficking of vulnerable women.

 

Philadelphia could be next to join; on Thursday, Councilman William K. Greenlee introduced a bill to add regulations aimed at making a dent in the number of such businesses here.

In several cities, recently enacted measures have successfully shut down illicit businesses without penalizing the workers, who are often victims of trafficking. The approach is a far cry from the traditional police busts that result in prostitution arrests for the workers but do little to stop the owners from reopening a week later with a new name or new employees.

 

“We want to make sure that these places aren’t just fronts for human trafficking,” said Greenlee, who plans to talk with stakeholders about the proposal over the summer. “Human trafficking is clearly a problem and it’s happening, at least to some [extent], in our city. … We need to try to address it.”

The bill would create licensing and registration requirements that would put burdens on owners opening illegitimate shops.  Violations could shut down businesses and discourage new ones from opening.

 

“We need to make it harder for these businesses to just pop up and go down and pop up,” said Shea Rhodes, director of the Villanova Law Institute to Address Commercial Sexual Exploitation, whom Greenlee’s office consulted.

Since January, 46 illicit massage businesses have been shut down across the country in part or completely because of code enforcement, according to Polaris, an advocacy group that runs the national human-trafficking hotline and that released the January report.

About 260 illicit massage businesses are in Pennsylvania and 370 in New Jersey. They operate in the city and neighboring counties, the Inquirer and Daily News has reported.

The businesses are most commonly staffed by female immigrants from Asian countries who come here under false promises of visas, good pay, or a new life, according to Polaris. They are then forced into sex work by massage-business owners, who add on debt after debt to keep the women in servitude.

 

Greenlee’s bill would require every massage establishment to be licensed with the city in addition to the state, display certificates and prices publicly, keep detailed records of services, and not operate outside the hours of 7 a.m. and 10 p.m.

Under the bill, violations found during inspections could result in fines of $200 to $2,000, which can add up daily, and possible license suspension or revocation. It also includes a proposed  $500 annual license fee.

 

Code enforcement can cause businesses to shut down through several paths: The owner’s license is revoked, the number of violations add up and the operation can successfully be closed down as a nuisance, or the violations are used as evidence in a criminal case. Plus, the owner may decide to close up shop when facing fines.

 

“The owners just say, ‘This isn’t worth it,’ ” said Meghan Carton, strategic initiatives specialist with Polaris. “In Philadelphia, where they haven’t had a civil enforcement tool, this will be a shock to [owners].”

 

The bill would hold owners accountable for any violations by the business, thus protecting the workers from fines. It also requires workers to be fully clothed.

Greenlee’s draft bill could change after conversations with experts and other stakeholders, his office said. Key provisions in other cities have included a regulation against anyone living or sleeping on business premises, which can prevent workers from being held captive inside, and against internal locks, so that workers cannot be confined in rooms with clients and inspectors can open the door unannounced.

Other ordinances have aimed to keep the businesses from cropping up after being shut down by prohibiting another massage business from opening in the same location or by barring an owner from opening another business. Those provisions aren’t yet in Philadelphia’s bill.

 

Villanova’s Rhodes said there also needs to be more awareness that paying for sex is a crime.

 

“Who’s buying sex in Center City on their lunch break?” she asked. “What businesses do they work for? And how are they finding the locations to go and buy sex? Are they using their desk phones and desk computers to search for it?”

 

As part of its strategic plan against human trafficking, Houston in 2016 strengthened its massage-business ordinance, created a municipal court diversion program to connect potential victims with legal services, and set up a program to find them care and temporary shelter.

 

And in San Francisco, health department officials have used a mix of citations, penalties, permit suspensions and revocations, local zoning regulations, and discerning review of new permit applications to reduce the number of permitted massage establishments in the city from 350 to 193.

 

“The employees are generally viewed as the victims, so the fines and penalties are largely directed toward the owners,” said Patrick Fosdahl, an assistant director in the city’s Department of Public Health.

Officials and experts have one other group in mind when crafting these laws: real massage therapists. The bill is crafted to put a minimal burden on aboveboard businesses.

 

“We’re not trying to hurt the legitimate massage therapists,” Greenlee said. “We have a problem here in Philadelphia and we need to try to address it the best we can.”

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly