‘Who’s buying sex in Center City on lunch break?’ Bill takes aim at sex trafficking at massage parlors

Behind darkened doors, barred windows, or surveilled entrances, thousands of massage parlors hiding exploited sex workers are operating across the country. But lately, in some cities, more of the visitors knocking on their doors are inspectors.

In San Francisco, 150 illicit massage businesses have been shut down since 2015 largely thanks to enforcement of a new municipal code. A toughened ordinance led to the shutdown of 38 businesses in Houston within a year.

And nationwide, at least 13 cities have proposed new ordinances since a report in January documented the operation of more than 9,000 illicit massage businesses in the U.S. — establishments that are commonly used as fronts for sex trafficking of vulnerable women.

 

Philadelphia could be next to join; on Thursday, Councilman William K. Greenlee introduced a bill to add regulations aimed at making a dent in the number of such businesses here.

In several cities, recently enacted measures have successfully shut down illicit businesses without penalizing the workers, who are often victims of trafficking. The approach is a far cry from the traditional police busts that result in prostitution arrests for the workers but do little to stop the owners from reopening a week later with a new name or new employees.

 

“We want to make sure that these places aren’t just fronts for human trafficking,” said Greenlee, who plans to talk with stakeholders about the proposal over the summer. “Human trafficking is clearly a problem and it’s happening, at least to some [extent], in our city. … We need to try to address it.”

The bill would create licensing and registration requirements that would put burdens on owners opening illegitimate shops.  Violations could shut down businesses and discourage new ones from opening.

 

“We need to make it harder for these businesses to just pop up and go down and pop up,” said Shea Rhodes, director of the Villanova Law Institute to Address Commercial Sexual Exploitation, whom Greenlee’s office consulted.

Since January, 46 illicit massage businesses have been shut down across the country in part or completely because of code enforcement, according to Polaris, an advocacy group that runs the national human-trafficking hotline and that released the January report.

About 260 illicit massage businesses are in Pennsylvania and 370 in New Jersey. They operate in the city and neighboring counties, the Inquirer and Daily News has reported.

The businesses are most commonly staffed by female immigrants from Asian countries who come here under false promises of visas, good pay, or a new life, according to Polaris. They are then forced into sex work by massage-business owners, who add on debt after debt to keep the women in servitude.

 

Greenlee’s bill would require every massage establishment to be licensed with the city in addition to the state, display certificates and prices publicly, keep detailed records of services, and not operate outside the hours of 7 a.m. and 10 p.m.

Under the bill, violations found during inspections could result in fines of $200 to $2,000, which can add up daily, and possible license suspension or revocation. It also includes a proposed  $500 annual license fee.

 

Code enforcement can cause businesses to shut down through several paths: The owner’s license is revoked, the number of violations add up and the operation can successfully be closed down as a nuisance, or the violations are used as evidence in a criminal case. Plus, the owner may decide to close up shop when facing fines.

 

“The owners just say, ‘This isn’t worth it,’ ” said Meghan Carton, strategic initiatives specialist with Polaris. “In Philadelphia, where they haven’t had a civil enforcement tool, this will be a shock to [owners].”

 

The bill would hold owners accountable for any violations by the business, thus protecting the workers from fines. It also requires workers to be fully clothed.

Greenlee’s draft bill could change after conversations with experts and other stakeholders, his office said. Key provisions in other cities have included a regulation against anyone living or sleeping on business premises, which can prevent workers from being held captive inside, and against internal locks, so that workers cannot be confined in rooms with clients and inspectors can open the door unannounced.

Other ordinances have aimed to keep the businesses from cropping up after being shut down by prohibiting another massage business from opening in the same location or by barring an owner from opening another business. Those provisions aren’t yet in Philadelphia’s bill.

 

Villanova’s Rhodes said there also needs to be more awareness that paying for sex is a crime.

 

“Who’s buying sex in Center City on their lunch break?” she asked. “What businesses do they work for? And how are they finding the locations to go and buy sex? Are they using their desk phones and desk computers to search for it?”

 

As part of its strategic plan against human trafficking, Houston in 2016 strengthened its massage-business ordinance, created a municipal court diversion program to connect potential victims with legal services, and set up a program to find them care and temporary shelter.

 

And in San Francisco, health department officials have used a mix of citations, penalties, permit suspensions and revocations, local zoning regulations, and discerning review of new permit applications to reduce the number of permitted massage establishments in the city from 350 to 193.

 

“The employees are generally viewed as the victims, so the fines and penalties are largely directed toward the owners,” said Patrick Fosdahl, an assistant director in the city’s Department of Public Health.

Officials and experts have one other group in mind when crafting these laws: real massage therapists. The bill is crafted to put a minimal burden on aboveboard businesses.

 

“We’re not trying to hurt the legitimate massage therapists,” Greenlee said. “We have a problem here in Philadelphia and we need to try to address it the best we can.”

 

 

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Murder Mystery Weekend – Chapter 3

Just before we got to her apartment, Teresa stopped, and pointed to a park bench.

“Can we sit here for a minute?” It was a lovely spot, opposite a pretty little park. The late summer day was bright and sunny, without the excessive humidity that had tortured us through the month of July. Yet I felt a sudden chill.

We sat down together. Teresa slowly swept her long hair back, and turned to face me.

“Colin, I have to tell you something.” she said. Normally, I’m a pretty optimistic guy, but those words sounded like the footsteps of doom. I swallowed, and nodded.

“I really, really appreciate your help with this.” she continued. “And I’m looking forward to seeing how it will all turn out. But I have to tell you now: this weekend won’t be about you and me. Do you understand?”

I didn’t understand at all, but I nodded as if I did. Teresa was watching me closely – did I mention that she was very bright?

“We aren’t going to be getting back together this weekend, Colin. I’m going to be very busy running the game, for one thing. And then there’s Lena to look after – she won’t know anybody else but me, at first. You could help me out there – be nice to her.”

“I want you to make this long weekend about you. Have fun. Solve the puzzles. Don’t spend your time flirting with me, or going out of your way to be helpful. You don’t have to try to impress me. I want you to just relax and enjoy yourself.”

“Flirt with the other women. Sleep with them.” Teresa saw the look of surprise in my eyes. “I mean it, Colin. We’ve always been frank with each other on that subject. I don’t want you to think about me romantically this weekend. Get drunk, if you want. Have a fling. Flings.”

– “This is one of the weirdest conversations I’ve ever had.” I said.

Teresa took me by the hand. “Colin, please. This is very important to me: tell me that you understand.”

– “I do. I get it.” I told her.

And I did understand. If I was busy chasing Teresa all weekend, trying to get back together with her, it would interfere with her running the murder mystery. It would also leave me frustrated; she was making it clear.

But I did say that I was an optimist. I understood something else very clearly: Teresa said that we weren’t ‘going to be getting back together this weekend‘. She also said that she didn’t want me to ‘think about her romantically this weekend‘.

Those were her exact words.

Why would she specifically say ‘this weekend’? Not once, but twice. She could have said that there was no chance of us getting back together, ever. Period. But she didn’t.

Which meant that there was hope for us yet.

We parted with a hug, and a kiss on the cheek. Then I went on my way. I waited until she was out of sight before I started to smile.

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=254

 

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Why 6th January is the Best Day for Online Dating

http://va.topbuzz.com/s/RdhNQcp

 

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5 Good International Cities to Meet Women

Websites like Swoop the world are solely focused on the subject of meeting girls in an international and global context. I am also one of those who pushes for so-called love tourism, although equally or more concerned about politics, culture, fitness, and philosophy.

Much has been said about this, and there are definitely several locations that are worth going to in East Asia, South America, Europe, Latin America, and the Caribbean. Perhaps even more regions if they become more Westernized and reach a certain level of material and economic development.

For a man who has limited time, however, there are five cities that are particularly good to focus on if you want the odds to be more in your favor. Perhaps in the end he has only time and opportunity to visit one of them, hence choose wisely.

The reason for these being the most appropriate is that in all of these locations the respective local culture is modern enough to “encourage” casual sex, the obesity rates are low, a large share of women are average to good-looking (partly because they often are thin), male competition is low to moderate, and the populations are large (10 million or more), leading to a near-endless pool of females. To visit so-called emerging markets comes with several downsides, such as poverty, higher crime rates (Latin America) and bad infrastructure, but since the main object is to get laid you have to ignore that.

1. Manila (Philippines)

The capital of the Philippines offers a lot of young and petite females that you can meet online, at bars and clubs, and occasionally through day game and fleeting social circles.

If you are a fairly good-looking guy (preferably of European, North American or Northeast Asian origin) with normal conversation abilities and level of confidence, rent an AirBnb, apartment or at least stay at a hotel for the short time being. You should have no problem finding a significant number of average to good-looking girls, although seldom prettier than SMV 8. Generally you can talk about all kinds of things with girls but make sure to keep frame and avoid contentious and complicated issues.

Make sure to pipeline a bit through dating apps/websites just before you go and create an abundance of opportunities. Look out for prostitutes and city gangs and don’t cause any trouble. Drugs should likewise be avoided. You may have heard about Rodrigo Duterte’s tough drug policies, which involve killings of dealers, even users.

You will do well with just English here.

Population: 12 million

Apps: Tinder, FilipinoCupid, Pinalove

2. Jakarta (Indonesia)

Although Jakarta is partly a Muslim city in an Islamic country, it is also – only beaten by Bali in that regard –  a rather liberal and secular such with many horny young girls who want a piece of the white flesh. Although some of the hijab-wearing women might be open for sex, look for those who don’t wear them since it may save you some time and trouble. It is more likely that they are open for casual sex.

A combination of online game, night game, and a little bit of day game should do you good. Make sure to rent a place since only a few hotels allow guests to bring girls to their rooms.

Some nice clubs are Jenja, Immigrant, and Empirica. Be aware of hookers and semi-pros there, although there are even more of them at Firefly. Keep frame and don’t pay. There are plenty of normal girls, of about the same level of attractiveness as in the Philippines, to choose from. Talk abut this or that, have fun, and have balance between being fairly serious and fun and outgoing.

English will take you far most of the time, but try to learn some Indonesian before you go. That will help you connect with local females, even if it’s just a couple of words and phrases here and there.

Population: 30 million

Apps: Tinder, IndonesiaCupid

3. Bangkok (Thailand)

Bangkok is associated with crazy nightlife and lots of prostitutes, much like Thailand overall is. Another downside is the massive amount of tourists. Still there are plenty of normal girls in Bangkok who are eager to meet foreign men. Both in public and online, be aware of the large share and number of pros and keep frame.

Use proper apps, especially ThaiCupid, and visit bars and clubs that lean towards a higher percentage of non-pros (i.e. normal girls). Like in other major Southeast Asian cities you can expect to do well if you look average or better and have normal conversation skills. Still the better pictures and looks, and the more confidence and determined mindset, the more you will likely increase your notch count. You are not the only one who is looking for an attractive girl to sleep with.

As for conversational topics it is wise to know about Thai culture and bring up such subjects, plus being friendly and having fun. Be a lover, not a provider, although it might be positive to showcase some form of social and monetary status. Unless girls ask there is no reason to talk about complicated subjects or even your home country. Focus on Thailand, fun, and travel.

English will take you far most of the time, but try to learn some Thai before you go. That will help you connect with local females, even if it’s just 100 words/phrases.

Population: 15 million

Apps: Tinder, ThaiCupid, ThaiFriendly

4. Rio De Janeiro (Brazil)

Rio De Janeiro is one of few cities in the world where girls approach guys, and as such often in a very direct fashion. Although it is often easy to kiss some of these mulatto girls, often from lower classes and even favelas, it is a bit harder to get laid in comparison. Sometimes kissing is just kissing and nothing more. Still it is often fairly easy to score. Forget about Catholic virtues: many live for the moment, like the day was the last on earth.

Like in Southeast Asia you should use a combination of different types of game, but online game and night game are often more than enough. However, you should be slightly more aggressive and confident in comparison – show that you have balls, both literally and metaphorically speaking. Most girls are between 5-7, like in Southeast Asia, but some have better bodies and can reach 8 or 8.5 mark. Those you bring to your hotel or Airbnb, preferably in some appropriate area, like downtown Rio or near Copacabana.

Research a bit online regarding appropriate bars and clubs, since that may differ from one year to another. Stay away from shady areas, take a cab rather than to risk anything, and don’t flash jewelry and such.

English will not take you far most of the time, so try to learn some Portuguese before you go. That will help you connect with local females, even if it’s just a couple of words and phrases here and there.

Population: 12 million

Apps: Tinder, BrazilianCupid

5. Bogota (Colombia)

If you look into a dating website/app like ColombianCupid, you realize that there are girls which are really attractive in Colombia, and since the bodies are sometimes so hot they can peak at 8 or even 9. These girls are spread out in different cities like Medellin, Barranquilla, Cali and so on why it would be wise to check out some them if you can, but if time is limited the capital Bogota is more than enough.

If you solely focus on getting laid you should do well with just online game, but for a variety of reasons you should check out the nightlife as well.

English will often not take you far. Thus try to learn some Spanish before you go. That will help you connect with women, both online and in real life. Since Spanish is valuable to learn in general you may regard it is a small life project, at least for a certain part of it.

Population: 10 million

Apps: Tinder, ColombianCupid

Conclusion

I have provided five examples of cities that are appropriate to visit if you want to meet girls, as well as the methods and tools that will enable you to maximize your results. Needless to say you could also do a lot of other things while there, such as to enjoy food and other aspects of the local cultures, but this post mainly concerns dating.

 

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Top 10 Cities for Single Men

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

Are you still single? Do you find it difficult to continue your life with a woman whom you love? Did you try to find a woman to date and failed? Do you want to find a city where you can date women? If your answer is yes, then we present to you the solution to your problem. You may think that you are the main cause of your problem which is failing to find a woman to date. In fact, there are many factors that cause this problem some of them are related to the man himself while the others are associated with the nature of the society in which we live. The man who is not very attractive, handsome, rich and smart does not have chances to date women like other men who have these qualities and features.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

There are other external factors which are associated with the society such as the rate of single women who are available for men, how easy it is to date a woman, the cost of dating a woman, the number of places which are available for meeting women and other factors that affect your marital status and can make you stay single for a long time. So, do you want to find a city where you can meet single women? Here is a quick glance at the top 10 cities for single men in 2014 to help you to solve your problem of being single till now. Ranking these cities is based on the ratio of unmarried women to unmarried men.

10. New Orleans, Louisiana

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

The ratio of unmarried women to unmarried men in this city is recorded to be the lowest on our list as it is approximately 116 unmarried women per 100 unmarried men. The cost of a date in this city is about $34.6.

Carriage-Travel-New-Orleans-Louisiana-United-States

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

9. Chicago, Illinois

It has about 117 unmarried women per 100 unmarried men. A date in this city costs about $34.4.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

8. Boston, Massachusetts

Although it is highly ranked as one of the best cities for single men, the number of its single women is low as it has 118 unmarried women per 100 unmarried men. The cost of a date in the city is around $31 to be the lowest cost on our list.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

7. Cleveland, Ohio

The ratio of unmarried women to unmarried men in the city is about 119 per 100 unmarried men and just a date costs you about $36.3.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

6. Washington, District of Columbia

It has approximately 120 unmarried women per 100 unmarried men. The date in this city costs you about $37.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

5. Detroit, Michigan

The ratio of its unmarried women to unmarried men is around 121 per 100 unmarried men. A date in Detroit costs about $32.8.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

4. Kansas City, Missouri

It has approximately 122 unmarried women per unmarried men and it costs you $35 for a date in this city.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

3. Baltimore, Maryland

It is estimated that unmarried women per 100 unmarried men in this city is about 124. The cost of a date in the city is around $36.8.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

2. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

It has approximately 125 unmarried women per 100 unmarried men and a date in the city costs you around $48.7 to be the highest cost for a date on our list.

1. New York City, New York

It is ranked as the best city for you to date a woman. It is placed on the top of our list in terms of the ratio of unmarried women to unmarried men as it is approximately 126 per 100 unmarried men. The cost of a date in this city is around $38.7.

Did you decide where you’ll go?

 

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So, You Want To Date An Entrepreneur? Here’s How

So, You Want To Date An Entrepreneur? Here’s How…

Being with an entrepreneur can be very challenging, well, because we’re not normal! We’re a very different breed, from the way we think to the way we carry ourselves.

Entrepreneurs spend a lot of time thinking up new ideas and creating things out of nothing.

It’s extremely difficult to connect with one, but when you do, there are some things you must know if you don’t want your relationship to be a rollercoaster.

Well, what do I mean by that? Let me tell you how to date an entrepreneur…

 

Have a life of your own

When dating an entrepreneur, it is important to not be too needy and to have a life of your own.

Don’t get upset if we’re not texting you back or can’t stay on the phone with you all day. It’s nothing personal, we’re just busy!

Entrepreneurs literally can’t afford to spend all day with you, so it’s crucial that you have something going for yourself to keep occupied.

However, when it comes to spending time and going on dates, rest assured that the time will be well spent and truly of quality!

 

Help or get out of the way!

Entrepreneurs are extremely busy, and we wear many hats! With that being said, it is insanely challenging to keep track of all that we have to do!

We honestly don’t have time for any whining or complaining.

If there’s anything that you can do to lighten up your entrepreneur bae’s load, then by all means, do it!

If your partner needs a book of stamps, go get them!

If he/she has a ton of packages to send off, but is occupied with other things, offer to send off the packages for them!

Go the extra mile! You’ll not only be appreciated, but we’ll probably love you forever.

 

Be supportive

Understand that dating an entrepreneur is nothing like dating someone who works a traditional nine to five.

We don’t get to work for eight hours then relax! We’re always working!

Be mindful of this and understand that we will make time for you, but first, we need to take care of business!

Many times, things don’t go as planned, and starting out, money isn’t always flowing!

Just be there and let your partner know that you support him/her in whatever it is they’re doing, and you two will get a lot further!

The truth is, as entrepreneurs, we never get tired of talking about the empire that we’re trying so hard to build, and an ideal partner is someone who will never get bored listening!

If you can be that person, be faithful and supportive, then there’s no way that the relationship can fail!

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice: The Hidden Reason Men Get Angry With Women Over “Nothing”

I have a gentleman that follows my blog. He’s been reading all of my dating and relationship work and asked if I could publish one of his pieces.

I agreed. This is not me, but we can all learn from this.

Anger has been a problem my whole life. It contributed to the ending of my two marriages and nearly brought about the demise of my third. When my anger was pointed out to me, usually by my wife, I immediately became defensive and insisted loudly, I’m not angry, God damn it! Inside I felt confused, out-of-control, and righteous. In my mind, I would say to myself, Well, who wouldn’t get angry, when someone is attacking you like she is?

When I tried to explain my feelings to my wife, she was mystified. Nothing she did seemed to her like an attack, and I couldn’t articulate what it was about what she said that triggered my defensive anger. Clearly, my anger wasn’t over “nothing”, but what was really triggering my anger remained hidden for a long time.

It took me years to begin to understand why my wife was afraid of me. I never hit her. So, I told myself, she’s just being overly sensitive. I dismissed my angry outbursts and wasn’t aware of the looks I was giving her. “When you get angry, even when you’re trying to keep it in,” my wife told me, “you get that beady-eyed look that chills my soul.”

My wife, Carlin, and I have been married now for 38 years. It’s the third marriage for both of us and we’ve learned a lot about why we are the way we are and how to deal with my anger. The writer, Margaret Atwood, offers an insightful understanding of a male/female dynamic that has taken us years to understand.

Atwood says, “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” Do you know how sometimes you read something and think to yourself, I know what she’s saying is right, but you can’t quite explain to yourself why it’s right?

On the surface, these two statements don’t make sense. They don’t seem to have equal weight. How can you compare fear of being laughed at to fear of being killed? Yet, Atwood is suggesting that fear of death and fear of being laughed at are comparable.

It’s a lot easier to understand women’s fear of being killed by a man, than men’s fear of being laughed at by a woman. Men are generally bigger, stronger, and more aggressive. Every day in the news we see examples of male violence. There are mass shootings, men killing their wives and girlfriends in fits of jealous rage, rapes, and sexual harassment.

In order to understand why men are afraid of being laughed at by women, we have to take a journey into the world of men and try and see things through their eyes. Here are a few highlights that I’ve come to understand over the years:

Being born of a woman has a different meaning for males than females.

All females learn quickly that they are the same sex as the mother and there is a primal identification, “I’m a female, like Mom, and I can grow up to be like her.” All males learn that they are the other sex and there is a primal disappointment when they realize that they will never grow up to be like mother.

Males are dependent on women, but frightened and ambivalent about their dependence.

In his book, “Misogyny: The Male Malady”, anthropologist David Gilmore describes the near universal dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women that is built into the male psyche. He says it stems from unresolved conflicts between men’s intense need for and dependence upon women and their equally intense fear of that dependence—and the underlying reason for our anger is almost totally subconscious.

Here are the subconscious needs that are usually so uncomfortable to acknowledge that men block them out:

  • Unconscious wishes to return to infancy
  • Longings to suckle at the breast
  • To return to the womb
  • The powerful temptation to surrender one’s masculine autonomy to the omnipotent mother of childhood fantasy

“All these secret desires,” says Gilmore, “spark unconscious opposition, internal conflict, and consequently psychic turmoil in men. Men’s ambivalence toward women creates an uncomfortable and endless tension at every psychic level which leads to an effort to diminish the source of the turmoil by attacking its source: women.”

Men can be overt in their anger or they can be covert. Their anger can be aggressive and explosive or it can be passive and “nice”. Mostly, I was the nice guy, but my anger would come out in subtle ways. I’d forget an anniversary. I’d flirt with my wife’s best friend. I’d listen to her, but not fully. I’d forget something she’d ask me to get for her. Sound familiar?

Men feel an unconscious bondage to Woman.

In his book, “Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man”, Sam Keen offers a perspective that resonates deeply with me. “It was slow in dawning on me that WOMAN had an overwhelming influence on my life and on the lives of all the men I knew,” says Keen. He goes on to say, “I am not talking about women, the actual flesh-and-blood creatures, but about Women, those larger-than-life shadowy female figures who inhabit our imaginations, inform our emotions, and indirectly give shape to many of our actions.”

Keen says, “One of the major tasks of manhood is to explore the unconscious feelings that surround our various images of WOMAN, to dispel false mystification, to dissolve the vague sense of threat and fear, and finally to learn to respect and love the strangeness of womankind.”

In sum, he says, “It may be useful to think about sexual-spiritual maturation—the journey to manhood—as a process of changing WOMAN into women, into Jane (or one certain woman), of learning to see members of the opposite sex not as archetypes or members of a class but as individuals.”

“It is the WOMAN in our heads, more than the women in our beds or boardrooms, who cause most of our problems,” Keen concludes. “And these archetypical creatures—goddesses, bitches, angels, Madonnas, castrators, witches, Gypsy maidens, earth mothers—must be exorcised from our minds and hearts before we can learn to love women.”

Men’s greatest fear is being ridiculed and disrespected.

I still remember being in a room with my mother and a number of neighbor friends. They were talking about their husbands amid derisive laughter about the various shortcomings of the men. I was six years old. I can’t remember the details of their complaints, but the feelings of pity, contempt, and disrespect remain burned into my psyche nearly seventy years later.

I felt deeply ashamed of my father for not living up to my mother’s expectations, and I made a vow, as a six-year-old, that I would die before I would ever let a woman talk about me that way.

James Gilligan, M.D., one of the world’s experts on male violence and author of the book, “Violence: Our Deadly Epidemic and Its Cause” says, “I have yet to see a serious act of violence that was not provoked by the experience of feeling shamed and humiliated, disrespected and ridiculed.” Most often, men turn the shame inwards, become depressed, and suicidal, but the anger that comes out at women is often shame-based and related to feeling overwhelmed by feminine power.

Most men have a hole in their soul as a result of the father wound.

When I was five years old my mid-life father became increasingly angry and depressed because he couldn’t make a living to support his family. Unable to meet the demands of being the sole breadwinner in the family, he took an overdose of sleeping pills and was committed to the state mental hospital.

If a boy doesn’t grow up with a father who is present physically and emotionally, he clings more closely to his mother, which increases his fear and anger. This was true for me and for many men I know. With my father gone, I needed my mother even more. I was angry that my father had left, and angry at my mother because I felt even more engulfed by her energy.

Richard Rohr founded the international movement known as Men As Learners & Elders (M.A.L.E.s), which focuses on ritual and rites of passage to encourage men to greater spiritual consciousness. He says, “In the heart of every man is a hunger for his father. It’s one of those inevitable things. It happens in both boys and girls actually, but the essence of this hunger is vitally different. There is something about the connection between the child and the same-sex parent that, when unmet, creates a gaping hole in their souls.”

 

Was this helpful? Id love to hear your feedback on in regard to this subject!

 

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Celebrity Sightings: Farrah Fawcett – 1947 to 2009 – Life Uncovered – Part 7

Stick Figure Thin

When Farrah was hospitalized, she seemed to fade in and out of consciousness, mumbling incoherent matters in between. She was stick-figure thin, so her dear friend Alana Stewart made every dish on Farrah’s former favorite food list so that she and O’Neal could try to tempt Farrah to eat. She made macaroni and cheese, fried chicken and ginger cookies – but there was no use. Farrah would take a cookie, stroke it gently and hand it back to Stewart with a smile, saying “that’s so beautiful.”

Marriage Wasn’t In The Cards

Fawcett and O’Neal had danced around the idea of marriage since before their son Redmond was born in 1985, with Farrah sometimes pushing it and O’Neal sometimes pushing it. But with three failed marriages between them as well as the difficulties in their relationship, a wedding never happen. One time, O’Neal even proposed to the actress using a cigar band as an impromptu engagement ring, but a flat tire on the way to the shotgun wedding ruined those plans.

O’Neal’s Last Chance

Just before Fawcett’s death, O’Neal decided to ask Farrah one more time to marry him and with tear-filled eyes, she accepted. While speaking about it in an interview, O’Neal said,” The priest at St John’s Hospital arrives to marry us but administered the last rites instead.” The next day, the doctor was ordered to remove the actress’ life support, and Farrah passed away just a few hours later with O’Neal at her side.

In Denial

Before her untimely and saddening death, Doug Vaughan, an NBC senior vice president, worked with Farrah on Farrah’s Story – a type of video diary she made detailing her battle against the disease. Doug was quoted saying: “This is so not the way she thought it was going to go, Farrah was certain that she was going to beat this.” Truth be told, Farrah was so profoundly convinced she was going to make it, the entire point of the video was to show other patients the fight is worth it.

In Sickness And In Health

O’Neal would not leave Farrah’s side during her last days. When he was asked why, he gave a rather unpredictable answer: “She’s never been more lovable,” he said. “There’s a sweetness – she’s skin and bones, but she’s got this beautiful look. I don’t know how long I’m going to get it, but I know why I’ve been around for 30 years for this person.” Although they have certainly had their rough patches over the years, some things never change.

Fighter Right Until The End

For two years Farrah moved back and forth between her comfortable California home and a personal German clinic. In the clinic, she underwent alternative treatments, some extremely painful and invasive. Suffering through the pain and clenching strongly to her mattress, Farrah insisted her best friend Stewart would film every single procedure she had to go through so that the documentary would chronicle her achievement in finding new means of combatting cancer. “She’s had terrible luck,” said O’Neal, “she tried so many different approaches.” Sadly, nothing worked.

 

Rest in Peace, Farrah. I’ll always love you because you were my first.

 

 

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Celebrity Sightings: Farrah Fawcett – 1947 to 2009 – Life Uncovered – Part 6

Mystery Scar

The red, one-piece bathing suit that Fawcett wore during this photo shoot was chosen to cover up a scar she received in her youth. While the exact story behind the injury that caused the scar remains a mystery, sources that were close to her say that it was from an accident while trying to learn to ride her bike. Either way, it all worked out because without the scar to be hidden the red bathing suit wouldn’t have been chosen.

Friends Or Enemies?

After taking a brief break with her former flame, Ryan O’Neal, Fawcett later began dating producer James Orr in 1997, but the relationship almost as soon as it started. In 1998, Orr was convicted of assaulting Fawcett in a highly publicized scandal that was majorly played up in the tabloids. Neither came out from the legal battle unscathed, and since then became enemies. The bad publicity Orr received seriously hurt his name in Hollywood and had trouble finding work.

Kids Before Marriage

Fawcett and O’Neal may have never made it down the aisle, but famously dated from 1979 until 1997 and even had a son together, Redmond O’Neal. Although the couple broke things off more than a decade before her battle with cancer began, O’Neal appeared to be a constant presence in Farrah’s life. While the pair seemed to be picture perfect, their relationship was described by some as stormy and temperamental. There was certainly more than what met the eye.

Sticky Fingers

Just three months after ending her 17-year relationship with Ryan O’Neal, Fawcett began dating James Orr, who directed her in the 1995 comedy Man of the House. Orr’s close friend and sometimes actress Kristen Amber claimed that Fawcett had stolen $72,000 worth of her clothing that she had kept in his home. After a thorough police investigation, and Farrah’s name being dragged through the dirt, investigators failed to substantiate the charge, and Farrah was let off the hook.

‘Til Death Do Us Part

It’s true that hardships can bring people together, and this is especially true in the case of Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal. The relationship was put to the ultimate test after O’Neal fell ill and Fawcett was there for the whole ride. Although they split up in 1997, Fawcett called Ryan the love of her life, and they but got back together in 2001 after he was diagnosed with leukemia. They remained a couple until Fawcett’s death.

Battle With Cancer

O’Neal wasn’t the only one to fall victim to cancer as in 2006, Farrah was also diagnosed. For three years, Farrah fought hard against the disease and sought various types of treatments, but her efforts were to no avail. Cancer quickly spread to the rest of her body, and she unfortunately passed away on June 25, 2009. Farrah was surrounded by Ryan and her son Redmond at the time of her death as well as the final moments leading up to it.

Kicking And Screaming

The first time O’Neal and Fawcett decided to cease their relationship, back in 1997, was not a pretty sight. The two were screaming, scandals of infidelity hit the fan, and even news of low-level violence would surface in tabloids thirsty for information. However, just because they could no longer keep their cool enough to be interlinked romantically, did not mean they were willing to terminate any further interaction with one another altogether. Therefore, the second and last time the two parted was when Fawcett was on her death-bed.

Photo Fight

In 1980, O’Neal set up a meeting between Fawcett and artist Andy Warhol, where Warhol created two portraits of Fawcett. The one of a kind portraits were later loaned by the actress to The Andy Warhol Museum. After a 2013 court case between O’Neal and the University of Texas, whom Fawcett named as the recipient of her artwork, one of the portraits was deemed the property of O’Neal. During the court case, the portrait was valued between $800,000 and $12 million.

Michael Jackson Overshadowed Fawcett’s Death

Fawcett died at age 62 on June 25, 2009, the same day pop icon Michael Jackson died, at Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica, California, with O’Neal and Stewart by her side. Unfortunately, the news of Fawcett’s death was largely overshadowed by the coverage of singer-songwriter Michael Jackson’s death, which occurred a few hours later in Holmby Hills, Los Angeles. Even in her final moments, O’Neal said that Fawcett managed to keep a smile on her face.

Permanently Damaged Their Son

O’Neal was quoted recently explaining he fully understands the extent in which his fighting with Farrah deeply damaged their son. He elaborated: “One of us should have been the grown-up. Instead, we were two single-minded people who gave into our baser impulses…Our moral compass had become submerged in a sea of ego and confusion and our sweet little boy would bear the brunt of the corrosion.” Because of his unstable childhood, Redmond turned to substance abuse.

 

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Celebrity Sightings: Farrah Fawcett – 1947 to 2009 – Life Uncovered – Part 5

Finally Out Of Jail

In 2016, the distraught son Redmond O’Nea was released from prison. After he had been jailed in 2015 for violating probation regarding previous drug possession convictions, it was rather unexpected when he was spotted out to dinner with his father, since he was initially given a three-year sentence. Redmond reportedly promised Farrah he would stay clean, but in 2011 he was found in possession of illegal substances and a firearm. He was imprisoned during Farrah’s last days, but he managed to visit her one last time before her death.

Cheating On Every Man’s Fantasy

In 1997, the couple knew one of the hardest years of their lives due to O’Neal’s notorious inability to stay faithful. Apparently, the same woman featured on every teenage boy’s wall in the 70’s caught her long-time lover doing the dirty deed in his Malibu pad. O’Neal was forced to recount his infidelity during a testimony he gave in a lawsuit pressed by the University of Texas years later, in which he confessed to messing around in the sheets with Leslie Ann Stefanson, star of The General’s Daughter.

A Valentine’s To Remember

Fawcett decided to surprise O’Neal for Valentine’s Day the day she discovered the truth. O’Neal described the horrible moment in detail: “It was terrible, I didn’t expect to see her down there. I tried to put my pants on, but I put both legs in one hole. Leslie dived under the covers.” O’Neal hoped Farrah didn’t realize what was happening, but in vain. “I thought Farrah was going to attack her, but she said, ‘What’s your name?’ Leslie said, ‘Leslie.’ And Farrah walked out.”

Special Guest At Farrah’s Funeral

A private funeral was held for Farrah in Los Angeles on June 30, 2009, and there was a very special guest in attendance, her son. Fawcett’s son Redmond was in jail at the time of her funeral, but he was thankfully given the permission to leave his California detention center to attend the funeral, where he gave the first reading. While being released, Redmond was photographed in his blue jumpsuit. Fawcett was buried at the Westwood Village Memorial Park in Los Angeles.

Not A Vain Bone In Her Body

One time, O’Neal asked Fawcett about her chosen and very distinct hair style: “I said, ‘Why do you wear your hair like that?’ and she said, ‘I can’t see to the right or left, and that way I don’t have to see people looking at me.’” Farrah was also not one to spend hours on grooming rituals. In fact, she once said: “I’m always more comfortable when I have on hardly any make-up, my hair is brown and I’m very unattractive.”

The Secret Affair

According to court papers, Fawcett had a secret affair with her university sweetheart during her final years behind Ryan O’Neal’s back. He claimed in a deposition that they rekindled their relationship in 1998 and were a couple for 11 years until Farrah died from cancer several years ago while she was 62 years old. The undercover love triangle was revealed in a bitter legal battle over the ownership of a $26 million Andy Warhol portrait of the former Charlie’s Angels actress and model.

Fawcett’s Football Flirt

Greg Lott, 67, a former football star, first dated Fawcett when they were both at the University of Texas. Lott, now a car dealer in Texas, claimed O’Neal prevented him from seeing Fawcett in her last days. “He kept me from seeing the love of my life before she died,” he said. “Photos don’t make a relationship. I know what I had with her. He didn’t have that. He blew it.” O’Neal and Lott were photographed arguing in the street several months after her death.

A Whole Lott Of Money

Fawcett left all her artworks to her old university but when the collection was handed over it was discovered that one of the valuable portraits was hanging in O’Neal’s bedroom. O’Neal claims that before she died, Fawcett gave him the Warhol painting to pass on to their son. Fawcett didn’t include O’Neal in her living trust but left $80,000 to Lott, who testified that it was the actress’s wish to bequeath all of her artwork to her alma mater, including the Warhol portrait.

Lott’s Love Letters

In court, Lott claimed to have years of handwritten notes between him and Fawcett. In one letter dated, Dec. 8, 2008, written from her hospital bed in Germany, Fawcett wrote, “I miss you so much, and sometimes the loneliness makes me cry. But this is a daunting journey one must take oneself, and there is very little anyone else can do to help. I wonder if at the moment of surgery I can do it, so I pray for strength and courage and it comes.”

Close Call

Fawcett and O’Neal fought often and loudly, and these arguments took a toll on their son, Redmond. The six-year-old once threatened to hurt himself to stop his parents from fighting. O’Neal recounted a particularly heart-stopping example that occurred during an argument in their bedroom. Redmond was standing in the doorway in his Winnie-the-Pooh pajamas, holding a butcher’s knife and said, “I’m going to stab myself if you don’t stop it!” That ended the argument.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish everyday at 8am & 12pm EST.

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