Sun Stories – Mike – Really Dude?

We hired a girl named Caitlin to take Jill’s shifts. She’s a nice girl and does a good job, but she runs track and field at college and her schedule for practices is changing so we lost her after a few weeks.

Achilles meets this guy Mike. He came into the salon to tan one day. He’s a mountain of a man. Admits to Achilles that he uses steroids to get that huge.

Achilles is chatting with him about the fitness center we’re opening soon and Mike tells him he’s a certified personal trainer. So Achilles hires him to work at the salon, and when the gym opens he can work there.

Perfect. A muscle dude that said he’d be here to run the classes and could make some real income from the personal training. People pay big bucks for that stuff. This is a great opportunity for Mike.

I stop in one Saturday just to escape the heat. I chat a bit with Mike and he seems like a really nice guy. I even spoke to him about a business opportunity I was thinking about and he gave me good advice having had experience in a similar business. So all good.

Everything seems to be going well. We’ve recovered nicely after Trish’s cocaine arrest, Jill’s alcoholic meltdown, and Caitlin’s track re-scheduling.

But two weeks later, Achilles calls me. “I’m going to have to fire, Mike.”

“What happened?”

“He’s stealing money from me.”

“Stealing?”

“Yea. There’s almost no cash transactions on the nights he works and I’m just starting to see a pattern. I don’t think he knows the level at which we can track everything on the computer.”

“Aww dude. I’m sorry. We just can’t catch a break lately.”

“I know. Come in and we’ll have lunch today and figure out what to do.”

The next day when confronted with the crime, of course Mike denied any wrong doing to the point where Achilles almost believed him. But once Achilles dug deeper and examined all of the records in the system there was no doubt in his mind that Mike had been skimming cash from the register.

I hear that steroids are expensive.

Anyway, we fired his thieving ass and banned him from ever coming to the salon again.

Guess who’s working all the shifts everyday for a while?

That’s right! Me. At least Achilles and I know that the people who work here are trustworthy and dependable. Because it’s down to the two of us!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly        Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

 

Advertisements

Sun Stories: Jill – Trish’s Replacement – Whoops!

It’s the Tuesday morning after the whole Saturday catastrophe. What was supposed to be Trish’s last day turned into me having to work her whole shift because she got locked up for cocaine possession.

I’m working at my desk when the phone rings. It’s Achilles. I’m thinking, what now?

He tells me he checked online about activity at the salon and there wasn’t any. It’s 11am. Normally he works during the day, but he asked Jill to take his shift this morning because he had some things he needed to do. He goes on to tell me that he called the salon and that there was no answer, and then he called Jill and asked her what was going on.

Her response was, “I’m looking for a place to live.”

Here we go again.

I spring into action and head to the salon. Looks like I’ll be working from whenever I can get the place open to closing today.

On the way there I’m thinking, if Trish had been able to contact Achilles or myself Saturday morning and said she couldn’t work we would have been fine with it. But she was in jail and probably didn’t have her phone on her. Don’t you get one phone call when you’re arrested? If she had gotten one call, that’s the one call she should have made. We wouldn’t have even cared if she had murdered somebody. Just let us know you can’t come in so we can cover your shift.

I wonder what happened with Jill? Couldn’t she have simply called or texted Achilles or myself that she wouldn’t be able to work today? We wouldn’t care if she was homeless, or even if she had murdered somebody. Just call or text Achilles or myself so we can cover your shift! This is the second incidence of this in the last three days!

I get to the salon and open the doors. There are several women sitting on the steps just like on Saturday. I tell them we’ve had some staffing challenges lately. I apologize for the late opening and tell them I’ll take care of them all and everybody gets to tan right now. Our clients for the most part are all really nice people.

I later find out from Achilles that Jill had gone out and gotten blackout drunk Monday night and was kicked out of the halfway house she was living in. So she’s relapsed with her alcoholism.

You are typically kicked out of a sober house when you relapse; but that doesn’t mean you can’t come back to the house or live in another one. If you’ve relapsed, then living in a halfway house is exactly what you need for your recovery right now. If you want to achieve sobriety, go to a halfway house and make a commitment there and don’t leave until you’ve finished it and are sober!

If you or a loved one are struggling with substance abuse or addiction, please call toll-free 1-800-951-6135.

Poor Jill. She was doing such a good job at the salon. I hope she gets the professional help she needs to be okay.

But… If you don’t show up for work, we have to fire you. So Jill has gone the way of Trish. Now we have to find someone else.

But the story isn’t over yet…

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish everyday at 8am & 12pm EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly             Facebook: phicklephilly      Twitter: @phicklephilly

Sun Stories: Jill – Trish’s Replacement – Hired

Trish lasted almost a year here at the salon. But she’s so unstable she can’t do the job anymore. I hope she gets the professional help she needs to deal with her mental psychosis.

We end up hiring Jill to work at the salon. At this point Achilles doesn’t know about the incident with Trish. Jill has industry experience and catches on quickly and is happy to have a job. She’s sweet to the customers and is up for any task in the salon. Being a former client, she’s happy to now enjoy the benefits of free tanning!

I really get to know her and she seems to have had a difficult life based on some bad decisions. I also discover that she’s had some real problems with alcohol. She’s currently living in a halfway house with some other women in recovery. I don’t know what she did to get there but at least she’s trying to get better.

Halfway Houses are transitional living places for those in recovery from drugs or alcohol. In some states, because of legal requirements, the term “sober living house” is used. Some people go to halfway houses from a treatment center, prison, or a homeless situation, while others go there to be in a sober and clean environment to begin the recovery process. Some residents are in halfway houses due to court orders.

Most halfway houses require residents to pass breathalyzer and drug screening tests as they aren’t equipped to deal with withdrawal symptoms from drugs or the DT’s (Delirium tremens, which are associated with severe alcohol withdrawal). If you can’t pass these tests, a treatment center might be your best option.

 

How a Halfway House is Managed

Many halfway houses are run by people who themselves were at one time a halfway house resident. The houses accommodate either men or women.

Most people who don’t seek recovery from alcohol or drugs will end up on “skid row,” in jail, an insane asylum, or dead. If you are concerned about a friend or family member, an intervention can be the best help for them if they’re not yet in recovery. The good news is that 85% of interventions that are properly carried out result in the person seeking some kind of help. Most interventions carried out without help from people well versed in addiction fail.

 

Determining the Primary Addiction

In seeking recovery from drugs or alcohol, it is important to identify which is the primary addiction — alcohol or drugs. Due to economics, halfway houses are set up to house both alcoholics and drug addicts. In order to obtain optimal results, the person in recovery should focus on either the program of Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous, depending on what the primary addiction is. A person who is addicted to alcohol will relate better to AA and the person addicted primarily to drugs will relate better to fellow drug addicts.

 

How to Choose a Halfway House

In choosing a Halfway House, ask around local AA or NA meetings about those with good reputations, or check with a respected treatment center. Also, choose one that is reasonably near the meetings you will be attending. Most halfway houses accommodate residents until 6 months to a year or two of continuous sobriety or clean time. Houses that have a range or recovery time for people currently residing at the house, such as someone with one month, 90 days, and 6 months are preferable to one with all residents with under 30 days in recovery. Also, those with a live-in manager are generally better choices. Some houses have a democratic process, in which the residents choose who will be coordinator or manager.

I hope everything works out with Jill on our team!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish everyday at 8am  & 12pm EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly        Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly

Top 10 Cities for Single Men

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

Are you still single? Do you find it difficult to continue your life with a woman whom you love? Did you try to find a woman to date and failed? Do you want to find a city where you can date women? If your answer is yes, then we present to you the solution to your problem. You may think that you are the main cause of your problem which is failing to find a woman to date. In fact, there are many factors that cause this problem some of them are related to the man himself while the others are associated with the nature of the society in which we live. The man who is not very attractive, handsome, rich and smart does not have chances to date women like other men who have these qualities and features.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

There are other external factors which are associated with the society such as the rate of single women who are available for men, how easy it is to date a woman, the cost of dating a woman, the number of places which are available for meeting women and other factors that affect your marital status and can make you stay single for a long time. So, do you want to find a city where you can meet single women? Here is a quick glance at the top 10 cities for single men in 2014 to help you to solve your problem of being single till now. Ranking these cities is based on the ratio of unmarried women to unmarried men.

10. New Orleans, Louisiana

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

The ratio of unmarried women to unmarried men in this city is recorded to be the lowest on our list as it is approximately 116 unmarried women per 100 unmarried men. The cost of a date in this city is about $34.6.

Carriage-Travel-New-Orleans-Louisiana-United-States

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

9. Chicago, Illinois

It has about 117 unmarried women per 100 unmarried men. A date in this city costs about $34.4.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

8. Boston, Massachusetts

Although it is highly ranked as one of the best cities for single men, the number of its single women is low as it has 118 unmarried women per 100 unmarried men. The cost of a date in the city is around $31 to be the lowest cost on our list.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

7. Cleveland, Ohio

The ratio of unmarried women to unmarried men in the city is about 119 per 100 unmarried men and just a date costs you about $36.3.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

6. Washington, District of Columbia

It has approximately 120 unmarried women per 100 unmarried men. The date in this city costs you about $37.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

5. Detroit, Michigan

The ratio of its unmarried women to unmarried men is around 121 per 100 unmarried men. A date in Detroit costs about $32.8.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

4. Kansas City, Missouri

It has approximately 122 unmarried women per unmarried men and it costs you $35 for a date in this city.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

3. Baltimore, Maryland

It is estimated that unmarried women per 100 unmarried men in this city is about 124. The cost of a date in the city is around $36.8.

[] - Top 10 Cities for Single Men

2. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

It has approximately 125 unmarried women per 100 unmarried men and a date in the city costs you around $48.7 to be the highest cost for a date on our list.

1. New York City, New York

It is ranked as the best city for you to date a woman. It is placed on the top of our list in terms of the ratio of unmarried women to unmarried men as it is approximately 126 per 100 unmarried men. The cost of a date in this city is around $38.7.

Did you decide where you’ll go?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

Facebook: phicklephilly         Instagram@phicklephilly         Twitter: @phicklephilly

Miscellaneous Stories – So, You Want To Date An Entrepreneur? Here’s How

So, You Want To Date An Entrepreneur? Here’s How…

Being with an entrepreneur can be very challenging, well, because we’re not normal! We’re a very different breed, from the way we think to the way we carry ourselves.

Entrepreneurs spend a lot of time thinking up new ideas and creating things out of nothing.

It’s extremely difficult to connect with one, but when you do, there are some things you must know if you don’t want your relationship to be a rollercoaster.

Well, what do I mean by that? Let me tell you how to date an entrepreneur…

 

Have a life of your own

When dating an entrepreneur, it is important to not be too needy and to have a life of your own.

Don’t get upset if we’re not texting you back or can’t stay on the phone with you all day. It’s nothing personal, we’re just busy!

Entrepreneurs literally can’t afford to spend all day with you, so it’s crucial that you have something going for yourself to keep occupied.

However, when it comes to spending time and going on dates, rest assured that the time will be well spent and truly of quality!

 

Help or get out of the way!

Entrepreneurs are extremely busy, and we wear many hats! With that being said, it is insanely challenging to keep track of all that we have to do!

We honestly don’t have time for any whining or complaining.

If there’s anything that you can do to lighten up your entrepreneur bae’s load, then by all means, do it!

If your partner needs a book of stamps, go get them!

If he/she has a ton of packages to send off, but is occupied with other things, offer to send off the packages for them!

Go the extra mile! You’ll not only be appreciated, but we’ll probably love you forever.

 

Be supportive

Understand that dating an entrepreneur is nothing like dating someone who works a traditional nine to five.

We don’t get to work for eight hours then relax! We’re always working!

Be mindful of this and understand that we will make time for you, but first, we need to take care of business!

Many times, things don’t go as planned, and starting out, money isn’t always flowing!

Just be there and let your partner know that you support him/her in whatever it is they’re doing, and you two will get a lot further!

The truth is, as entrepreneurs, we never get tired of talking about the empire that we’re trying so hard to build, and an ideal partner is someone who will never get bored listening!

If you can be that person, be faithful and supportive, then there’s no way that the relationship can fail!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

Facebook: phicklephilly        Instagram@phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Tales of Rock – Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee And Nikki Sixx Had The Grossest Bet Ever

Once you’re a famous rock star, all the fun goes out of making a conquest. Instead of having to go to a bar and desperately try to pick someone up, or swipe right on every photo on Tinder in the hopes one single person will like you back, you basically can’t go anywhere without beating groupies off with a stick (pun not intended). Even if you’re the bassist. That’s why you have to throw some roadblocks in your way to make it a little more interesting.

That’s where Motley Crue’s drummer and aforementioned bassist come in. Apparently sick of having foursomes every night, they made a bet with each other over who could go longest without bathing, showering, or washing in any way, and still find a groupie willing to have sex with them and/or not vomit all over them. Spoiler alert: This has gone down in history as “The Spaghetti Incident” so if you are squeamish, tap out now.

So Tommy and Nikki did their thing up on stage every night, getting sweaty and gross in their trouser areas, then would proceed to have sex with up to four women a night, getting even grosser and sweatier down there, and did nothing about it. After even two days of that, most of us would be so disgusted with ourselves that we would give up on the bet, but the members of the Crue managed to go two months.

Two months.

Then finally one night it all came to a head, literally. (Seriously, one last warning. Go look at puppies or something.) Nikki brought a woman to his room to get down, and she started giving him a blowjob. Next thing he knew, she was vomiting all over his junk. Since she had eaten pasta earlier in the night, this became known as “The Spaghetti Incident.” Said pasta apparently “became tangled in his pubic hair.” Instead of freaking out and running for the nearest water, Nikki called for Tommy to come check out what had happened, and admitted he lost the bet. And you will never be able to eat pasta again.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly               Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

 

Dating and Relationship Advice: The Hidden Reason Men Get Angry With Women Over “Nothing”

I have a gentleman that follows my blog. He’s been reading all of my dating and relationship work and asked if I could publish one of his pieces.

I agreed. This is not me, but we can all learn from this.

Anger has been a problem my whole life. It contributed to the ending of my two marriages and nearly brought about the demise of my third. When my anger was pointed out to me, usually by my wife, I immediately became defensive and insisted loudly, I’m not angry, God damn it! Inside I felt confused, out-of-control, and righteous. In my mind, I would say to myself, Well, who wouldn’t get angry, when someone is attacking you like she is?

When I tried to explain my feelings to my wife, she was mystified. Nothing she did seemed to her like an attack, and I couldn’t articulate what it was about what she said that triggered my defensive anger. Clearly, my anger wasn’t over “nothing”, but what was really triggering my anger remained hidden for a long time.

It took me years to begin to understand why my wife was afraid of me. I never hit her. So, I told myself, she’s just being overly sensitive. I dismissed my angry outbursts and wasn’t aware of the looks I was giving her. “When you get angry, even when you’re trying to keep it in,” my wife told me, “you get that beady-eyed look that chills my soul.”

My wife, Carlin, and I have been married now for 38 years. It’s the third marriage for both of us and we’ve learned a lot about why we are the way we are and how to deal with my anger. The writer, Margaret Atwood, offers an insightful understanding of a male/female dynamic that has taken us years to understand.

Atwood says, “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” Do you know how sometimes you read something and think to yourself, I know what she’s saying is right, but you can’t quite explain to yourself why it’s right?

On the surface, these two statements don’t make sense. They don’t seem to have equal weight. How can you compare fear of being laughed at to fear of being killed? Yet, Atwood is suggesting that fear of death and fear of being laughed at are comparable.

It’s a lot easier to understand women’s fear of being killed by a man, than men’s fear of being laughed at by a woman. Men are generally bigger, stronger, and more aggressive. Every day in the news we see examples of male violence. There are mass shootings, men killing their wives and girlfriends in fits of jealous rage, rapes, and sexual harassment.

In order to understand why men are afraid of being laughed at by women, we have to take a journey into the world of men and try and see things through their eyes. Here are a few highlights that I’ve come to understand over the years:

Being born of a woman has a different meaning for males than females.

All females learn quickly that they are the same sex as the mother and there is a primal identification, “I’m a female, like Mom, and I can grow up to be like her.” All males learn that they are the other sex and there is a primal disappointment when they realize that they will never grow up to be like mother.

Males are dependent on women, but frightened and ambivalent about their dependence.

In his book, “Misogyny: The Male Malady”, anthropologist David Gilmore describes the near universal dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women that is built into the male psyche. He says it stems from unresolved conflicts between men’s intense need for and dependence upon women and their equally intense fear of that dependence—and the underlying reason for our anger is almost totally subconscious.

Here are the subconscious needs that are usually so uncomfortable to acknowledge that men block them out:

  • Unconscious wishes to return to infancy
  • Longings to suckle at the breast
  • To return to the womb
  • The powerful temptation to surrender one’s masculine autonomy to the omnipotent mother of childhood fantasy

“All these secret desires,” says Gilmore, “spark unconscious opposition, internal conflict, and consequently psychic turmoil in men. Men’s ambivalence toward women creates an uncomfortable and endless tension at every psychic level which leads to an effort to diminish the source of the turmoil by attacking its source: women.”

Men can be overt in their anger or they can be covert. Their anger can be aggressive and explosive or it can be passive and “nice”. Mostly, I was the nice guy, but my anger would come out in subtle ways. I’d forget an anniversary. I’d flirt with my wife’s best friend. I’d listen to her, but not fully. I’d forget something she’d ask me to get for her. Sound familiar?

Men feel an unconscious bondage to Woman.

In his book, “Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man”, Sam Keen offers a perspective that resonates deeply with me. “It was slow in dawning on me that WOMAN had an overwhelming influence on my life and on the lives of all the men I knew,” says Keen. He goes on to say, “I am not talking about women, the actual flesh-and-blood creatures, but about Women, those larger-than-life shadowy female figures who inhabit our imaginations, inform our emotions, and indirectly give shape to many of our actions.”

Keen says, “One of the major tasks of manhood is to explore the unconscious feelings that surround our various images of WOMAN, to dispel false mystification, to dissolve the vague sense of threat and fear, and finally to learn to respect and love the strangeness of womankind.”

In sum, he says, “It may be useful to think about sexual-spiritual maturation—the journey to manhood—as a process of changing WOMAN into women, into Jane (or one certain woman), of learning to see members of the opposite sex not as archetypes or members of a class but as individuals.”

“It is the WOMAN in our heads, more than the women in our beds or boardrooms, who cause most of our problems,” Keen concludes. “And these archetypical creatures—goddesses, bitches, angels, Madonnas, castrators, witches, Gypsy maidens, earth mothers—must be exorcised from our minds and hearts before we can learn to love women.”

Men’s greatest fear is being ridiculed and disrespected.

I still remember being in a room with my mother and a number of neighbor friends. They were talking about their husbands amid derisive laughter about the various shortcomings of the men. I was six years old. I can’t remember the details of their complaints, but the feelings of pity, contempt, and disrespect remain burned into my psyche nearly seventy years later.

I felt deeply ashamed of my father for not living up to my mother’s expectations, and I made a vow, as a six-year-old, that I would die before I would ever let a woman talk about me that way.

James Gilligan, M.D., one of the world’s experts on male violence and author of the book, “Violence: Our Deadly Epidemic and Its Cause” says, “I have yet to see a serious act of violence that was not provoked by the experience of feeling shamed and humiliated, disrespected and ridiculed.” Most often, men turn the shame inwards, become depressed, and suicidal, but the anger that comes out at women is often shame-based and related to feeling overwhelmed by feminine power.

Most men have a hole in their soul as a result of the father wound.

When I was five years old my mid-life father became increasingly angry and depressed because he couldn’t make a living to support his family. Unable to meet the demands of being the sole breadwinner in the family, he took an overdose of sleeping pills and was committed to the state mental hospital.

If a boy doesn’t grow up with a father who is present physically and emotionally, he clings more closely to his mother, which increases his fear and anger. This was true for me and for many men I know. With my father gone, I needed my mother even more. I was angry that my father had left, and angry at my mother because I felt even more engulfed by her energy.

Richard Rohr founded the international movement known as Men As Learners & Elders (M.A.L.E.s), which focuses on ritual and rites of passage to encourage men to greater spiritual consciousness. He says, “In the heart of every man is a hunger for his father. It’s one of those inevitable things. It happens in both boys and girls actually, but the essence of this hunger is vitally different. There is something about the connection between the child and the same-sex parent that, when unmet, creates a gaping hole in their souls.”

 

Was this helpful? Id love to hear your feedback on in regard to this subject!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly       Facebook: phicklephilly     Twitter: @phicklepilly