Phicklephilly – Double Life

“The seed is gold. The price of gold goes up in a crisis.”

If you’ve been reading this blog, you know I’ve been in a relationship for quite some time.  This is a subject I can only discuss with my emotionally and morally bankrupt friend johnny R or my friend Robert who will understand. I can’t go to Church with this because he can’t even manage his own shit and has no clue as to how to navigate his own life, let alone the world of romance and women. I hope by the time you read this, he’s sorted out his life and moved forward. (See:Church – Brand Ambassador)

So I’m going to address the 600 pound gorilla sitting in the room we call phicklephilly.

When you have lived the life I have, my story isn’t for everybody. I hope you know what I mean. You have to compartmentalize your life. There are those in your life that can embrace your darkness and those that admire it but never get to be on the show.

Phickle is in a pickle. The most glorious pickle that men would pay money to be in. I’m in love with two women. For the first time in my life this has happened.

I usually meet a girl. Start dating her. If things get serious and we’re compatible, that leads to love and off we go. She’s the only woman in my life. I’m getting older, and I figured the women I would date would get older and more scarce. It’s been just the opposite. I’ve done better in my late forties and fifties than I did in my mid twenties to mid forties. (I was married for 8 years from 28 to 36)

I’m a one woman man. Through and through. What has happened with the last three women in my life is this: They have all been younger than me. So we’re always in different places in our lives. (My mistake, but I don’t chase them, it just happens) We go out for a while, then we’re in a relationship, and they bring up that they may want to get married and have kids. That’s when it ends. They love me, but they know I’ve already been married, divorced back in 2001, have my daughter Lorelei, and paid out over $125,000 in child support.

I’m not risking that again. If I were to marry again, (Which I highly doubt) It would have to be clear that we’re not having kids. If that happened and I fucked it up, my Social Security payments would be going to my ex-wife. So no go.

But back to my current dilemma.

I’m really falling for this lady. I’m happy in my current relationship, but I met Ambria and we’re a good match. I haven’t slept with her yet, but I know it’s inevitable. I don’t even know why I did it. I’m not unfaithful. I’m happy with my current girl. But then it comes to me.

I did it because I could.

(Just like in the film Jurassic Park. Ian Malcom says: “You had the technology that you could re-create dinosaurs, but you never gave any thought to SHOULD you create dinosaurs?”)

My current girlfriend Cherie lives far away out in Pottstown and Ambria lives out in East Falls, just outside the city. But neither of them really come into the city. Current girlfriend is a student at Temple. That’s in North Philly. She has no reason to come into center city. She works at CHOP but not at the one here in the city, she works at a branch of Children’s Hospital out by where she lives.

Ambria works as a Nurse Practitioner up in Kensington. That might as well be in another city. (And a shitty one at that.)

Am I really a two timing, cheating, bastard? Technically, yes. But if I look at this in an open-minded adult way I think I can justify my actions.

My current girlfriend Cherie works a lot of hours and has a 6-year-old son to raise. She’s also in school. After she graduates, it’s off to medical school. I see her once or twice a month for a few hours or a single overnight. When we have time, we go out and do something, then eat and then back to the batcave for sex and sleep. The next morning I take her to breakfast, and then put her on a train back to Pottstown. Sometimes it’s just back to the batcave for sex, sleep and breakfast. Her life is that busy and her time is that limited.

At my age, I’m fine with it. I’m just happy to be getting laid at all. But that’s pretty much my life with my girlfriend. She’s great. She’s smart, she’s funny, and she’s a nymphomaniac. I love being with her and I can really feel how much she loves me even though our time together is short.

I also like my time alone, with my friends and my work and business. I love women. I just don’t want to spend a bunch of time with them. I like a little quality time and some distance. I need her to have her own life, friends, work and priorities. I need to be a part of her life but certainly not the focus. I should never have to “put my time in” like I did with insecure Annabelle (See: Annabelle – 2013 to 2014 – Nice to Meet You) so she doesn’t feel neglected.

I’m just getting started with Ambria and I certainly didn’t think this would happen. I think about them both. I’m happy with them both. Like I said, I’ve never been in this situation before, where there just happens to be two great women in my life and I like them both for different reasons, but can’t just choose one and jettison the other. Why would I do that? I don’t want anyone to get hurt. And no one has to. For right now I want them both. I’ll see Cherie when it’s convenient for her on the weekends that she can get some free time, and see Ambria once or twice a week.

This is pure phicklephilly.

If you look at the actual time spent with these girls, mathematically it’s like only having one girlfriend that you see only part of the time. There’s no demands. No perfunctory chores or doing shit you don’t want to do. These two relationships read like my blog posts about my ex-girlfriend, Michelle. (See: Michelle – 2007 to Present – Nice to Meet You) What I mean by that is this: My relationship with Michelle was as complex as any relationship where you live someone you love. But these two relationships, because of the distance and limited amount of time spent with them both, it’s like the Michelle blog. Simply our Greatest Hits. When I’m with each girl, it’s just the best of Phicklephilly.

I get to be in a relationship with two great girls that I don’t see all the time, and it’s all the fun stuff. It’s all the things that keep a relationship fun. Now granted, I know it can’t always be this way. Relationships always progress and are usually pushed forward by the woman. But in this case I may have dodged that bullet, because Cherie doesn’t want any more kids, and Ambria told me she is unable physically to have children. So, win, win!

Of course there’s the moral dilemma. But I’m not feeling any guilt at this point. I’m treating them both well and giving them my full attention when they’re with me, and nothing’s changed. I’ve simply added another person into my life with whom I enjoy their company.

I think this may have risen from Cheri’s extreme limited availability. When she’s here it’s like I run a sexual marathon for 12 hours and then the whole amusement park shuts down for three weeks to a month and goes dark. Then the process starts all over again weeks later. We text and all, so there’s always a connection, and I’m fine with that. But there are long periods when baby is just MIA.

It’s rare for a man to find not one, but two women with which he’s compatible. Let alone at the same time. I like this arrangement that I’ve created and for now it’s working. I’m going to enjoy this wonderful opportunity as long as possible and do everything to be discreet and keep the girls happy and satisfied.

You know what would be insane? Cherie is bi-sexual, and open to a threesome with another girl. Ambria told me that about 10 years ago she went through a faze where she was into girls.

You don’t think I could…?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8m & 12pm am EST.

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Ambria – Chapter 7 – Monday Meeting

Before she got in the car she said, “Who are you?”

I was planning on taking Ambria to the movies on Monday afternoon. We both like matinees so we settles on a film and I scheduled us for the 1pm show. But a few days later she had to take her Mom’s boyfriend for his colonoscopy. It was at 10am and then there is recovery, and then she would have to drive him home because he’d be out of it. So it could go on until 3pm. I figured we could go to the 4pm show. But I told her no pressure. We could always go to the movies next week.

I was also wondering this: Her mother passed away back in January. Can you still technically have a boyfriend when you’re dead? Ambria referred to this gentleman as her mom’s boyfriend. I cleared this up with her later that evening. They were together for years but her mother always claimed that he was just a “friend” not a lover. But I think it’s nice that she’s still friends with her late mother’s beau and does things to help him out. Ambria is a giver, hence the career as a nurse.

The day goes by and she’s in touch. It’s 3:30pm and she says she can meet me in 40 minutes. I tell her to go to 16th and Chestnut.

“Where?”

“Just go into Two Liberty by that coffee shop. I’ll be there when you get there.”

I come into Two Liberty at 17th street and cut through Bloomingdales just to cool off. It’s another hot day. I cut through the shops and food court and head down the steps to the 16th street entrance. I can see Ambria sitting by the window at a little table. She looks lovely. She’s wearing a light sundress with flowers on it and I see that she has straightened her hair. I like the baby curls, but straight looks very chic as well.

We greet and give each other a little peck on the lips. She wonders what adventure we’re off to today, and I tell her what I’m looking for.

“Well I was looking for a place with a few things.

1. It’s a hot day, so it needed to be a cool place.

2. You’re special, so it needed to be a cool space.

3. It needed to have an early happy hour because we’re meeting at 4:30 instead of 5pm.

4. It needed to have an elevator because my ear has been stuffed up lately and I thought a nice long elevator ride could pop it open.”

“Wow. You’ve really though this through.”

“I have. Come with me.”

We step outside onto busy 16th street. We walk a quarter of the way up the street and go back into Two Liberty. But it’s a different entrance. It’s the entrance to the residences as well as the only way to get to R2L.

R2L stands for Restaurant at Two Liberty. It’s a Daniel Stern spot and probably his most successful just due to its location. The 52nd floor. The walls are all windows to see the city. I’ve always found the food mediocre, but the view is spectacular and the place looks posh. It’s a great place to take someone on a date to impress. I wouldn’t hang there, but it’s a good jumping off point.

Great thing is, we’re early. 4:20 to be exact. Ambria’s never been there and she loves the place. The view isn’t really what it should be because of the heat. The humidity clouds the view. If it were a cool clear day, you could see for miles from the bar at 52 stories up.

I order a vodka martini straight up with a twist, Ketel One. She goes with theLoree’s Jones, named after one of the regulars that always ordered this drink so they named it after her. It’s got citron vodka, ginger liquor, peach, and soda in it. It’s pretty good. It’s a light crisp cocktail.

My drink on the other hand arrives and it appears to be a weak pour. I taste it and I can taste the vermouth. It’s not a good martini and certainly not worth the $12 to $14 price tag that I’m sure it has on it. She likes her drink, and I tell her mine is weak. The bartender is young maybe he doesn’t have a vodka martini quite down yet.

“Shall we ask him if he’s in training?”

“Oh my God, Ambria. You are so bad!”

We giggle and I tell her that although it’s only going to taste worse as it gets warmer, it’ll still do what it’s supposed to do. In a bit she orders and other one and I get a beer. I just wanted an ice cold Corona to wash the foul taste of the poorly made martini that I just drained.

I tell her I know another place a block away that is nice, cool, and up off the street. When we finish our drinks she compliments me on my 4:30 choice but agrees we should try the other place. She insists on paying the bill. (Am I falling in love?)

We head to the elevator and she’s rubbing my back. We get in and we’re the only ones in there and we kiss. It’s a sweet stolen moment that belongs only to us.

We walk over to 17th and Sansom. Davios Italian Restaurant is on the 2nd floor connected to the Club Quarters. It’s a slow Monday night. Big Chuck and Cort are on the stick so we should be in good shape. She gets a vodka cranberry and I go with another martini. This time it’s the right pour, and it’s clean and cold with tiny flecks of ice in it. Just the way I like it.

It’s summer now, so it’s quiet at Davio’s on Mondays. I know the staff doesn’t like it, But I do. We chat with Big Chuck and he’s always charming and funny. He brings out the  brochette, fries and olives for us to munch on for free. They used to give out free pizza, but they don’t anymore. We decide to just hang for the one drink, and then head down to Square next door for the hook up.

I introduce her to Roman, and tell her who he is and who he is to me.

Ambria had a few vodka cranberries and I was sipping oceans of chardonnays. She wanted to go to the ladies room and I knew she wouldn’t be able to find it so I told her I’d take her upstairs and show her where it was.

As soon as we got up there we started making out like a couple of teenagers. It was glorious. I really like Ambria.

We hung there for a few hours. Sipping our drinks, laughing and chatting. There was some hand holding and some gentle caressing. But we were at my bar so we tried to be discreet. There was another trip upstairs for more private necking.

The bill comes and it’s the usual super low amount. I love Roman. He’s my favorite bartender in the city. She hands me some money towards the check. Ambria’s great.

When we were tired I called her an UBER.

Before she got in the car she said, “Who are you?”

I’m assuming she said that because she can’t believe how well we’ve connected. The car disappears into the night. She blows me a final kiss to send me home.

I text her some movie possibilities she may be interested in.

“Check it out, dear.” I text.

“Okay my love….” was her reply.

Yea. She said that.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Ambria – Chapter 6 – Top Secret

Went on my third date with Ambria today. Normally your typical date lasts a couple of hours and off you go. Well not with this one.

She’s off on Mondays and Tuesdays so I planned a lunch date with her for Monday. I thought the usual Monday move of Cavanaugh’s Rittenhouse, because it’s half off cheesesteak day. But I changed my mind, and thought I should take her somewhere else a little more interesting. I know she goes on the restaurant’s website and checks out the menu and Cavanaugh’s is just simple bar food and sandwiches. I need to take her somewhere with a little more flair. I change the venue to Devil’s Alley. I let her know that morning and she replies in text that the food looks good. So I’ve made a good choice.

Devil’s Alley has sumptuous southern cuisine. The dining room on the main floor is spacious, and they can open the front  in nice weather. There is a bar upstairs and more tables near the front. They can also open that in nice weather. The rest of the floor is a long row of two tops along the wall all the way to the back where they have one big long banquet table. I hear the owner is a tyrant, but the food is always consistently delicious and the serving staff and bartenders are always really nice.

I had been running around right before that, and arrive at 12:45 and snag a quiet table upstairs. She’s in touch and tells me she’s getting off the train and is on her way over to the restaurant.

Instead of being 45 minutes late like last Wednesday night (I know, nurse stuff. All is forgiven) She comes up the steps and back to my table. I stand and give her a hug and a peck on the cheek. We sit and I look at my phone. 12:59. Well done Ambria. You made it.

The server, CJ comes over and is great. Sweet guy with good energy. Twenties. Probably working his way through college. I know what we must order first. The spicy dry rub wings. It’s six delicious morsels of amazingness. Ambria has to try these bad boys. They’re like nothing else in the city.

She orders the Satan’s Cooler. This is a crisp vodka driven cocktail with hints of fruit. I order a Diet Coke. It’s her day off, so it’s like her Saturday. It’s my real Monday and it’s a bit early for me to start hitting the sauce. She doesn’t know it yet, but I plan on spending some time with this lady today. Let’s see what happens. I said I wanted to get to know her better, and putting in solid time with her we can learn quite a bit.

She loves the spicy wings as I knew she would. Everybody I bring here loves them. When my friend Duncan comes to visit, he always gets two orders of them… and he lives in the South! They’re consistently that good.

She follows that up with the B.L.T and I hit the pulled pork sandwich, which is always good. Normally I go with a little hot sauce on the side, but I’m on a date, and I don’t want to be running to the bathroom and then coming back with tears in my eyes later.

Our lovely lunch lasts until 2:30, which is good. Hour and a half. Service was great and so was the food and especially the company. I have such good rapport with this girl.

We split the bill down the middle and head outside. It’s spitting a little still, but it’s not bad. She asks what we’re doing now, and I tell her I have some ideas. She asks if we can just walk a bit. She starts to realize we’re going to hang out some more. That was my plan all along. I tell her I know a spot where we can chill out until the rain subsides.

I take her over to Sofitel. She’s never been there. The Liberte Lounge is such a chill spot. I like hanging out there whether it’s at the bar or the lounge. We both realize how chilly it is in there. I think other people notice it as well. We move up to a pair of seats by the front windows so we can people watch.

This very nice French gentleman comes over and asks if we’d like something to drink. It’s 3pm so technically I should be good to go. We ask to see drink menus but I know I want a glass of chardonnay with a side of ice. She goes with the rose. We sit and chat and sip those two glasses for over two hours. That is highly irregular for me. I can drink oceans of chardonnay in no time flat. But it’s a lovely segue to happy hour. We’re in a different state of mind than last Wednesday. She was late, and stressed from work and wanted a pitcher of margaritas.  I was down for that, but today is just gently unrolling before us.

After about an hour of sipping our single glasses of wine, (Which she insists on paying for) we head across the street to Square 1682. My boy Roman is working the bar so the hook up will be happening. Ambria can’t believe I’m getting the hook up, but I tell her I’ve been coming here for a long time and it’s a good deal for everybody.

But after one drink we decide to go over to Dan Dan to see my buddy Chet and get some chicken pot stickers and whatever else she wants. I would have stayed at Square, but for some reason my Spider Sense was tingling and I just wanted to get out of there for some reason. Like I was going to run into someone I didn’t want to run into.

So I pay the bill and we walk a block over to 16th street to Dan Dan. It’s a great little spot and my buddy Chet is always good for keeping happy hour going for me anytime I go there. We get the pot stickers and some drinks.

This has been a lovely day with this lady. She’s sweet and funny, and I love the sound of her voice. It’s soft and warm. Just like her. I can’t believe my good fortune. Lightning has struck and it’s beautiful.

We stay for a bit and then it’s time for her to go home. I’m tired too after our nine hour date. It’s been glorious.

We kiss a bit while waiting for her UBER. It’s like our lips were made for each other. The car comes and off she goes until next time. I’m glad we’re taking it slow and dating each other. I can feel the pressure building in her. The desire rising to the surface.

Soon.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Cherie – Chapter 36 – Four to Eight – Part One

So baby’s coming down on Sunday to see me. We both have crazy busy schedules. But we make it work and I like it. I like the distance between the pillars that support the temple of our relationship. I’ve never had that. It’s always been the traditional American bullshit progression that goes nowhere and ends in failure. This actually works really well for me. I love intense bursts of energy with my friends but then I like to be alone for a while. It’s inevitable right now based on where we both are in our lives and it’s working beautifully. I love it.

She says she’ll be down around 4:30pm on Sunday.

Cool.

I get done at the salon at 4. She says she has to be on an 8:30 train back to Pottstown. I’m thinking, perfect. Come down early Sunday, I’ll feed her and give her some dinner, and then tomorrow we’ll get up early, I’ll take her to breakfast and she’ll be on a train back home or to school, and I’ll be writing this blog getting the 1/2 off cheesteak by noon on Monday at my local haunt.

I finish up at the salon, and we meet up on the street after she gets off the train. I take her to Mix Pizza, because I know she loves that place from our early encounters.

We get there and instead of sitting in the back bar, we sit in the main dining room. We order a 12 inch pie that is just enough for the both of us. We’ll murder that tiny pie. She likes extra cheese, and I’m okay with that because she wants that but I know that dairy will fuck with my stomach. But I don’t care. I love her. If that’s what baby wants, that’s fine.

Our waitress is banged up. I don’t mean drunk, I mean it looks like she was in a car accident or is a victim of domestic violence.

We can’t say anything even though I want to so badly. Puffy eye, cuts and bruises on her. I’m feeling sad and concerned. I have three sisters a daughter and a girlfriend. If I know a man raised his hand to my waitress I’ll have a hit put out his worthless ass.

But Cherie tells me to behave. We’ll get our little brick oven fresh pizza and go home.

She brings out not a 12 inch pizza, not the next size up, but the biggest fucking pizza they make with extra cheese. The order is wrong, I’m tired from work and I know I’m going to spend some quality time in the bathroom. But I’m happy to be sitting across from my queen and I’m okay.

I make some jokes to her about why the order is wrong to Cherie and why our server got beat up.

“Because she doesn’t listen.” (Kidding. I feel bad for her. Maybe she just fell off her bicycle.)

“I will kick you so hard under the table your mom will feel it, if you don’t stop.”

I always make jokes when I’m sad or suffering for someone, to ease the tension in my heart, and Cherie knows this but she just wants me to stop.

(I did make a few more. Just to deal with it, and I love to watch her lovely dark almond eyes narrow and tell me to shut up.)

She knows I’m kidding. She knows me and knows I feel for this girl, and hates the fact that she is feeling what she’s feeling from my dark jest.

When I’m scared or sad I always joke to deal with my anxiety, sadness or depression. It’s a combative mechanism to help me deal with life.

We have a nice dinner and she’s happy. I love her braids. I hope they last all summer. Every time I see her, she seems more beautiful to me. She’s already gorgeous, but I am falling deeper in love with her soul. Her spirit. Her voice. Her mind. Her heart.

Cherie is a complex, beautiful human being that has come a long way at her ripe 27 years. I love her sweet calm with me. I love her wise maturity. I love that she is a parent like myself. She’s always struggling with what we all do with work, children and education, but she does it as a woman. My relationship with her has redefined me as an adult. I continue to evolve. She makes me grow as a man. I love that I continue to evolve. My life is changing.

I’m about to open a new business in Rittenhouse. If it’s successful, it will change my life dramatically. It will mean I can do more for my daughter Lorelei and change her life too. I’m beginning to think that sitting at Square 1682 getting cheap drinks and hanging with the same cast of characters is a waste of my talent.

I like these people but I think our time together is a bit of a waste of time. Nice people, but I’m carrying a lot of their water on my ship. I appreciate them.

I do. But I think I am growing out and away from them.

Just evolving as usual. It happens.

I was sitting at the bar the other night at Square and as usual I am loving the bartender Roman. He’s glorious. He is what I need him to be and he knows that. I take care of him. He’s amazing. He’s a husband and a dad and we have a history that is connected.

But I looked to the friend to the right of me and I started to see that I don’t need to do this anymore. The game is changing.

I’m changing.

There’s no value in this anymore. She has positioned herself with someone I no longer speak with and I know is nuts and has hurt my friend Alice.

I look to my left and here is my other friend. A lost confused damaged soul that can’t get out of his own fucking way to do go forward.

What am I doing here?

I was at City Hall today with my business partner getting our permit to open our fitness center.

That’s what I need to focus on. Going forward and building a business.

This happens throughout ones life if you continue to evolve. They come in and visit for a while and then they have to go because you grow beyond them. I think I need to faze them out. I may or may not do that, but I need to withdrawal from their stagnant drama.

I used to be in the public eye all of the time. Blowing up social media constantly. Many people and beautiful women basked in my light and I was just left with the hangover.

It’s okay. I had a great time but I’m getting older and I just can’t carry their weight anymore.

I want to build something.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, share, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am EST.

 

10 Ways to Win a Girl’s Heart

10 Ways to Win a Girl’s Heart

How the average guy can get the beauty queen

Disclaimer: This is not intended for the guy who wants a one-night stand. There are books like “The Game” and “The Players Handbook” which can give you great techniques to hook up and end up with an empty life and a roster of regrets. If you want the most beautiful girl in the world on the outside and inside, a girl you would be proud to show off to all of your friends AND family, and a girl to build the foundation of a full life together, then “10 Ways to Win a Girl’s Heart” is for you.

I can’t believe it. In a few weeks I will be marrying my dream girl. She’s the type of woman who blew all of my expectations and checklists out of the water. I look down at her in my arms, and I know I’ve found the treasure of a lifetime. She’s so delicate both physically and emotionally. It’s like I’m holding the rarest piece of artwork in the world. I want to treat her gently, speak loving words, and plant kisses all over her sweet-smelling skin. I can’t help but think, “How did you, Kris, get the most precious jewel in the world????” After all, she’s much more than a beautiful creature to stare at. She’s intelligent, well-spoken, athletic, care-free, and creative. She’s like a fairy tale princess. She was Miss USA!!!

The other night, we’re on a hike, and as we get to the top, we encounter the most beautiful view. It’s literally all the colors Kristen picked out for our wedding, and she’s in awe. I am caught in between the most beautiful woman and the most beautiful sunset God has created. I’m talking to her about this article idea. After all, I want this content to be the turning point for the good guys out there. I’m all about the underdog coming back for the win, and it just seems the good guy ends up being the one who loses to these generic techniques some greasy dude fine tunes from using over and over again. So, I asked her what things I did to win her over.

Are you ready to win your dream girl? Here are 10 ways to win a girl’s heart:

1. Be pursuant

Pursue her without the pressure. In other words, don’t try to “front” and be cocky. Have a conversation first and show her you are interested beyond her appearance. You don’t have to come up with some crazy pickup line. You can simply say, “I want to introduce myself…”Be sincere and genuine in wanting to get to know her. I see too many good guys get intimidated by a girl’s beauty up front, but take a closer look, and find her true self. Honestly, if you can get past this, you’ll have a leg up on the other idiots out there. After all, being genuine is where you excel the most. This is why you are the good guy!!

2. Be a gentleman

Girls don’t want to be treated like a queen, but they do want to be treated like a princess. She doesn’t want you to be a doormat, she wants you to be the one in charge. Open every door for her, especially the car door. Pull out her chair and allow her to sit down first when you take her on a date, and let her order first. When you are walking alongside the street, you should be the one walking closest to the street. Being a gentleman is being selfless.

3. Be complimentary

On our first date, I told her “You look so beautiful.” I then told her how great she looked when I saw her without makeup the night before. It was real and sincere. While she later revealed to me that she had been testing me to see if I would still like her without makeup, I simply saw a girl who didn’t have enough time because she just got done at the gym. That was incredibly sexy to me.

4. Be creative

You don’t have to blow your bank account to impress her. Think outside the box. I’ve been watching one of my good buds Danny pursue his girl right. [Update: Danny Booko is now engaged to Nia, the current Miss USA 2014.] He took her on a hike in Malibu, CA to waterfalls and then took her to this place called M Café complete with swans. He’s also taken her to the Getty museum and the zoo, which are free. Another idea is to take her to a place like Color Me Mine, where you paint your own pottery. Putting thought and originality into a date lets her know you really care about showing her the best in life and it allows you to experience each other across various situations.

5. Be intentional

Invite her to parties, events, and game nights with your friends. I called Kristen every day when I finally got her number. I sent her encouraging text messages and inspirational Bible verses. I told her I wanted to be her man on our fifth date. She wasn’t ready, but she knew what I wanted. I gave her the time she needed with no stipulations, while still pursuing her intentionally. She told me she loved that.

6. Speak well of her in front of other people

Hold her hand. Pick-up artists recommend saying backhanded compliments, but nothing beats a genuine and sincere compliment. A backhanded compliment might work for a one-night stand, but come on, this is a poisonous ingredient in trying to form a long-term relationship. Treat her just as kindly in front of friends and family as you do when you are alone.

7. Be attentive

Show her that you care for her and her needs. Pay attention to the small details. Girls care about the small stuff, big time. For instance, on our first date, I knew Kristen was a vegetarian, so I took her to a vegetarian restaurant called Café Gratitude. Listen to what she has to say.

8. Be protective

Don’t let her walk alone to her car. If she’s going on a jog or walk at night, tell her you want to go to keep her safe. If she’s going to the gas station at night, go with her. If you’re at a club and she needs to go to the restroom, take her there and wait outside the door.

9. Be a good listener

Ask solid open-ended questions that include “what,” “how,” and “why.” If you’re doing most of the talking, you’re not getting very far with her. Show her you care with body language and by repeating back some of what she just told you.

10. Be romantic

Plan ahead. What do you want your love story to be? You are the writer. When people ask where your first kiss was, you don’t want her to answer with the driveway or that you were drunk at a party. The night I kissed a girl for the first time, I wanted it to be special. I took her to an overlook on Mulholland Drive. We stood on top of the city, and that night I was her very own Superman. It was a special moment.

Finally, be yourself. There won’t be much longevity if she’s fallen for a false persona, and why would you want that anyway? I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not the coolest guy out there, so I have fun in my dorkiness. There is no one else like you, so be confident. When you are walking in truth, game isn’t necessary. You’ve already won.

 

Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your feedback in regard to this subject!

 

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Cherie – Chapter 35 – Jungle Fever

“My heads under water but I’m breathing fine.”

Jungle Fever: “When a non-black person is attracted sexually to black people. Originally it was used for when a white woman dates black men, but now it could refer to a white man who thinks black women are hot and wants to date them.”

A Stevie Wonder song about black man/white woman love.

“She’s gon’ black guy crazy
He’s gone white girl hazy
They got jungle fever”–Stevie Wonder.
It’s been nearly a month and I’m going crazy. I miss her. She’s so beautiful and sweet. She’s an absolute pleasure to be with. A calm, loving, grateful, sexual, amazing woman. I haven’t seen her in three weeks.
She is crushing it in her life. Finals at Temple destroying her life just like all of the other girls at that damn school. Raising her son, working at CHOP as a medical assistant and the pediatrician’s office and everything else she’s dealing with.
She told me today that she got a flat tire on her Saab. That’s horrible but she said as bad as her life is, she says it could be worse. I like that because that is how I live my life, with positivity. Cherie is my sweet match.
I love her optimism. Maybe she got that from me but it doesn’t matter,  I just want her to be okay.
I’ll see her tomorrow at 4pm after a long hiatus.
 Sometimes I think she’ll just give up. Far away. Distant factor. Right side of thirty. Beautiful black girl.  Me… white guy in his mid fifties.
I’m prepared for her to bail. I’m writing this now in my home office, listening to the band Morphine and thinking she should just bail on me. Distance. Time. Age difference. She’ll just decide  it’s too difficult and I’ll be dead in the water.
Again.
She’s young and beautiful like Michelle and Annabelle and she’ll just wise up and just go.
I think about that on a weekly basis. That’s a real thing when you’re a middle-aged bachelor.
It feels like love and mad sex but it all could end if at 27 she wants a husband and more kids. You’re done. I’m dead. I’m alone. I have to start again. Or not. I say that she was the last one and it was great, but I’m finished. I’m out. I’ve punched all of the holes in my romance card, an it’s over.
If this one fails. I think I’m done.
That’s a real thing for guys my age.
But I’m not like guys my age. They’re scared and insecure without game. I’ve worked hard to build game. But that could also be my undoing.
Men my age try to surround themselves with affluent things that mean nothing.
Cars, gadgets, shoes, suits, watches, lifestyle. It’s all bullshit. Just build the powerful you to move forward with nothing but your own powers and the women will notice. Most men can’t do this.
But you have to practice guys. Get to know women. They’re great. Talk to them. Listen. Love them. Let go of whatever you were taught and just get to know them.
I’m having brunch on this rainy Saturday with my dear friend Alice who blew me off for drinks and quizzo last Wednesday. I love Alice. But the weather sucks. I would love to take her to the craft show in Rittenhouse Square this weekend. But the weather could take a dump on our plans.
It’ll happen because she’ll feel bad that she blew me off so she’ll do it. But I don’t even care because I love her (as a friend) and I want her to do well in her business.
All I need to do is get Cherie at 4pm and make sweet love to her.
That’s it.
I have a giant umbrella for me and Alice for the craft show but all I want to do is get Cherie at the train station and take her home and tear her to pieces.
My time with Alice is important. I love hanging with her. But I need to get to Cherie.
That’s the magical time.
That’s the time that everyone in the world wants.
That’s the time that everyone envys.
That’s the time that everyone regrets.
That’s the time everyone wishes they had again with their current partner.
That’s the time that you only get once but wish you could have again and again.
I’m not wrong. You all want that. What if you could have that again and again just as good as the first time? That would be the perfect drug for us all right? Can you have her or him again and again and it always feels like the first time? That shit’s magic.
That’s my life. Cherie and I built that together. I’m lost in that.
We’re always wishing for the first date. The euphoria. The excitement. Then they’re gone.
But this time she stays.
But also stays away. Just far enough to love her. And it works. Its magic together, but I’m alone. I like that. She’s busy and can’t be with me. I’m okay with that. I like it. She’s a nymphomaniac and I  love that.
It’s not all of the time. I need my alone time. She’s busy with school and life. So am I…  busy building a business. I have finally found a balance that works for me.
intense.
I love you, Cherie.
See you soon.
Magic again.
Watch this video please. Cut and paste if you can.
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=450p7goxZqg

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Ambria – Chapter 5 – Wednesday Night – Part Three

I pay the check. It’s $65. I figured a cheap happy hour with my new flower that would consist of $2 beers and $1 tacos. But it hasn’t played our like that. It never does. But this one isn’t like the others.  Nothing like the others.

What is happening?

We leave El Rey. What Ambria doesn’t know is that El Rey is owned by the same company who own the Rainstead Room. The server tells me we can cruise through the kitchen and go to Rainstead, but I say no. I want to take Ambria outside, and around the corner to the dirty alley to where the Rainstead resides.

We step into the night, and walk around the corner to the alley-like street that is Ranstead,  She seems a little nervous. But I put her at ease. I tell her it’s up ahead. On the balcony there is a red light. Before us is a black door with two R’s on it. Ranstead Room!

I open the door for her and in she goes. The vestibule, which more like and entrance hall is illuminated in red light and there is a young lady sitting there to host us inside. She grabs the next door and in we go. Inside is a very dark plush bar. Dimly lit, with a long white bar and a room of dark private booths. Blues plays in the background and the walls are adorned with paintings of nude women. It’s like something out of a Tarantino film.

Ambria instantly loves the place. She had no idea that it existed. She went with a vodka driven, light, sweet drink. I went with a spirit forward rye infused cocktail. These drinks are well crafted and delicious. They’re not cheap. But Ambria already said she’s paying so…

There’s a lot of gazing into eyes, hand holding and just general touching. There’s talk about us making love. I can’t believe this is happening on the second date! There’s such amazing chemistry between us.

It’s really uncanny.

I think of how difficult it is for people to really connect in this modern world, and how everyone is so connected through social media now. But that’s all it is, social media. It isn’t really connecting with anyone at all. Not in any real way. But I did meet Ambria on Tinder. But let’s look at what that is. It’s the new way to meet people and connect. But once you’ve swiped right and made contact, it’s up to you. Some people just want to hook up and have sex. That’s fine. That’s not for me, and not the way I operate in the world. I can only be intimate with someone I really like. The sex isn’t simply a release or a desire. It’s a celebration of our physical selves because we love each other. Now, that may sound corny to some of you, but what’s better than making love to someone you absolutely adore. It’s amazing.

Ambria says she’s a giver. I tell her I am as well. I have always been a giver. I can’t believe my good fortune for this sort of lightning to strike with such a wonderful lady.

This is our second date. It started officially around 5:45pm today. It’s now 10:30pm. The two and a half our lunch yesterday, and now four hours into our second date the very next day are strong indicators that there is a powerful attraction happening here.

She slips her shoes off, and puts her feet up on my chair. Just the way she’s listening to me when I speak. I can see she’s really into me. This is great. I feel her foot press gently against my crotch. This is a hot night.

She has to get a train back home. I ask her how and when. It’s getting late. She says she hasn’t given a thought about the clock or going home. She is lost in this wonderful night with me. The next train is at 11:30pm. That’s like an hour from now. We’re not doing that. I tell her I’ll call an UBER for her and send her home on my account. She likes that idea far better than going over to Suburban Station and waiting for a train and then getting home after midnight.

She pays for the two rounds of drinks like she said she would.

What a great girl.

We go outside and immediately start making out. I don’t mean like kissing, I mean deep, penetrating sensuous making out. That hasn’t happened on any of these dates that I’ve been on up till now.

I kissed her and it didn’t feel like a first passionate kiss. That awkward connecting of our mouths to be intimate that happens sometimes when you start making out with someone. The making out usually has to be later perfected as you get to understand the movement and rhythm of the person you’re with. There was none of that. It felt like she already belonged to me. Like we’d been together for a while.

Like I was kissing a girlfriend.

We walk up to 20th and Market and I summon the UBER. I thought East Falls where she lives was far away. It’s not. She won’t be waiting for a train at 11:30. She’ll be home in a few minutes. The ride is only going to cost me $8 bucks.

Before the car arrives there is more delicious kissing with Ambria. We’re both hot for each other and I’m really happy I met this lovely girl. We’re both buzzed and as I put her in the car.

I almost tell her I love her.

Almost…

 

 

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