Dating and Relationship Advice: Do Some People Think Women Have Higher Sex Drives Than Men?

Why do so many people think women have higher sex drives than men?

I know SOME women can have higher sex drives than SOME men. There are some women who frequently have an intense desire for sex — and there are men who don’t — but on average men definitely have stronger sex drives than women do. I think even most women would admit that.

The average man just naturally has a higher libido than the average woman. Men have 7 or 8 times higher testosterone levels than women do. That has a huge affect on sex drive.

Yeah, some women want more sex than their male partners, but in general the pattern goes the other way. Pretty much every study and every measure fit the pattern that, overall, men are hornier than women.

“WebMD concurs, noting that study after study shows men with the stronger sex drive”

“According to Marta Meana, psychology professor at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, data overwhelmingly show that, typically, men have a higher sex drive than women”
Why do some people think women have higher sex drives than men?

Studies on female-to-male and male-to-female transsexuals lend these findings additional credence.

A study of 35 female-to-male transsexuals and 15 male-to-female transsexuals also supports the impact of androgens on sex drive. In a longitudinal design that tested patients before and 3 months postoperatively, found a decrease in sexual interest and arousability among the male-to-female transsexuals, who were administered anti-androgens and estrogens. In contrast, the female-to-male transsexuals, who were administered testosterone, reported heightened sexual interest and arousability. 

These data highlight the importance of testosterone in producing meaningful changes in sexual arousal and interest, even over a relatively short time.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Dating and Relationship Advice: The Hidden Reason Men Get Angry With Women Over “Nothing”

I have a gentleman that follows my blog. He’s been reading all of my dating and relationship work and asked if I could publish one of his pieces.

I agreed. This is not me, but we can all learn from this.

Anger has been a problem my whole life. It contributed to the ending of my two marriages and nearly brought about the demise of my third. When my anger was pointed out to me, usually by my wife, I immediately became defensive and insisted loudly, I’m not angry, God damn it! Inside I felt confused, out-of-control, and righteous. In my mind, I would say to myself, Well, who wouldn’t get angry, when someone is attacking you like she is?

When I tried to explain my feelings to my wife, she was mystified. Nothing she did seemed to her like an attack, and I couldn’t articulate what it was about what she said that triggered my defensive anger. Clearly, my anger wasn’t over “nothing”, but what was really triggering my anger remained hidden for a long time.

It took me years to begin to understand why my wife was afraid of me. I never hit her. So, I told myself, she’s just being overly sensitive. I dismissed my angry outbursts and wasn’t aware of the looks I was giving her. “When you get angry, even when you’re trying to keep it in,” my wife told me, “you get that beady-eyed look that chills my soul.”

My wife, Carlin, and I have been married now for 38 years. It’s the third marriage for both of us and we’ve learned a lot about why we are the way we are and how to deal with my anger. The writer, Margaret Atwood, offers an insightful understanding of a male/female dynamic that has taken us years to understand.

Atwood says, “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” Do you know how sometimes you read something and think to yourself, I know what she’s saying is right, but you can’t quite explain to yourself why it’s right?

On the surface, these two statements don’t make sense. They don’t seem to have equal weight. How can you compare fear of being laughed at to fear of being killed? Yet, Atwood is suggesting that fear of death and fear of being laughed at are comparable.

It’s a lot easier to understand women’s fear of being killed by a man, than men’s fear of being laughed at by a woman. Men are generally bigger, stronger, and more aggressive. Every day in the news we see examples of male violence. There are mass shootings, men killing their wives and girlfriends in fits of jealous rage, rapes, and sexual harassment.

In order to understand why men are afraid of being laughed at by women, we have to take a journey into the world of men and try and see things through their eyes. Here are a few highlights that I’ve come to understand over the years:

Being born of a woman has a different meaning for males than females.

All females learn quickly that they are the same sex as the mother and there is a primal identification, “I’m a female, like Mom, and I can grow up to be like her.” All males learn that they are the other sex and there is a primal disappointment when they realize that they will never grow up to be like mother.

Males are dependent on women, but frightened and ambivalent about their dependence.

In his book, “Misogyny: The Male Malady”, anthropologist David Gilmore describes the near universal dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women that is built into the male psyche. He says it stems from unresolved conflicts between men’s intense need for and dependence upon women and their equally intense fear of that dependence—and the underlying reason for our anger is almost totally subconscious.

Here are the subconscious needs that are usually so uncomfortable to acknowledge that men block them out:

  • Unconscious wishes to return to infancy
  • Longings to suckle at the breast
  • To return to the womb
  • The powerful temptation to surrender one’s masculine autonomy to the omnipotent mother of childhood fantasy

“All these secret desires,” says Gilmore, “spark unconscious opposition, internal conflict, and consequently psychic turmoil in men. Men’s ambivalence toward women creates an uncomfortable and endless tension at every psychic level which leads to an effort to diminish the source of the turmoil by attacking its source: women.”

Men can be overt in their anger or they can be covert. Their anger can be aggressive and explosive or it can be passive and “nice”. Mostly, I was the nice guy, but my anger would come out in subtle ways. I’d forget an anniversary. I’d flirt with my wife’s best friend. I’d listen to her, but not fully. I’d forget something she’d ask me to get for her. Sound familiar?

Men feel an unconscious bondage to Woman.

In his book, “Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man”, Sam Keen offers a perspective that resonates deeply with me. “It was slow in dawning on me that WOMAN had an overwhelming influence on my life and on the lives of all the men I knew,” says Keen. He goes on to say, “I am not talking about women, the actual flesh-and-blood creatures, but about Women, those larger-than-life shadowy female figures who inhabit our imaginations, inform our emotions, and indirectly give shape to many of our actions.”

Keen says, “One of the major tasks of manhood is to explore the unconscious feelings that surround our various images of WOMAN, to dispel false mystification, to dissolve the vague sense of threat and fear, and finally to learn to respect and love the strangeness of womankind.”

In sum, he says, “It may be useful to think about sexual-spiritual maturation—the journey to manhood—as a process of changing WOMAN into women, into Jane (or one certain woman), of learning to see members of the opposite sex not as archetypes or members of a class but as individuals.”

“It is the WOMAN in our heads, more than the women in our beds or boardrooms, who cause most of our problems,” Keen concludes. “And these archetypical creatures—goddesses, bitches, angels, Madonnas, castrators, witches, Gypsy maidens, earth mothers—must be exorcised from our minds and hearts before we can learn to love women.”

Men’s greatest fear is being ridiculed and disrespected.

I still remember being in a room with my mother and a number of neighbor friends. They were talking about their husbands amid derisive laughter about the various shortcomings of the men. I was six years old. I can’t remember the details of their complaints, but the feelings of pity, contempt, and disrespect remain burned into my psyche nearly seventy years later.

I felt deeply ashamed of my father for not living up to my mother’s expectations, and I made a vow, as a six-year-old, that I would die before I would ever let a woman talk about me that way.

James Gilligan, M.D., one of the world’s experts on male violence and author of the book, “Violence: Our Deadly Epidemic and Its Cause” says, “I have yet to see a serious act of violence that was not provoked by the experience of feeling shamed and humiliated, disrespected and ridiculed.” Most often, men turn the shame inwards, become depressed, and suicidal, but the anger that comes out at women is often shame-based and related to feeling overwhelmed by feminine power.

Most men have a hole in their soul as a result of the father wound.

When I was five years old my mid-life father became increasingly angry and depressed because he couldn’t make a living to support his family. Unable to meet the demands of being the sole breadwinner in the family, he took an overdose of sleeping pills and was committed to the state mental hospital.

If a boy doesn’t grow up with a father who is present physically and emotionally, he clings more closely to his mother, which increases his fear and anger. This was true for me and for many men I know. With my father gone, I needed my mother even more. I was angry that my father had left, and angry at my mother because I felt even more engulfed by her energy.

Richard Rohr founded the international movement known as Men As Learners & Elders (M.A.L.E.s), which focuses on ritual and rites of passage to encourage men to greater spiritual consciousness. He says, “In the heart of every man is a hunger for his father. It’s one of those inevitable things. It happens in both boys and girls actually, but the essence of this hunger is vitally different. There is something about the connection between the child and the same-sex parent that, when unmet, creates a gaping hole in their souls.”

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice – Marriage Preparation: Tips & Advice for the Groom

Marriage preparation for a groom is really not all that different from how a bride should prepare. Like any bride, you also need to ask yourself some crucial questions. There also feats of (emotional) strength you must perform in support of your spouse.First, you need to be sure you are ready for a marriage. Is your girlfriend ready too? Does she also want the same things as you do from this relationship? If yes, then great! Congratulations!

Marriage preparation: Tips & advice for the groom

1. You are a team

Do not contradict in public. Form a united front even if you know she is wrong. Discuss your disagreements when you are alone at a later time. You have moved on from your mother so it is important to cut the apron strings and side with your spouse – at least in front of her. Always. Do not let your relationship with your mother (or best friend, child, or anyone) overtake your partnership with your spouse. No meddling allowed.

Marriage preparation: Tips & advice for the groom

2. Know your limits

We are human and know what we are good at. There are many stereotypes that you don’t have to live up to (and frankly aren’t expected to). Call the plumber, find an accountant, don’t let ego make a mess of major things.

Marriage preparation: Tips & advice for the groom

3. Discuss money/career/children/religion

Discuss any sticky subject matter that is important to you. Get on the same page and manage each other’s expectations. Plan your budgets. Are you saving for a house? Where? Do either of you have to go back to school? What is the debt scenario? All uncomfortable topics need to be hashed out and compromises need to be found for the road to be laid out smooth for the future.

Marriage preparation: Tips & advice for the groom

4. Always maintain respect and composure

There will be disagreements. This is a guarantee. Handle them with grace and patience; No name calling, no grudge holding, don’t ever retaliate. Fight fair. When it’s all over and the two of you have taken your space let your spouse know they are the most important person in your life.Expectations come from both parties. Live up to yours. If you make agreements be sure to stick to them. If assistance is asked for, get up and assist when asked the first time. Be strong and be patient & your spouse will look to you to be their pillar when times get dark. Deliver on that and you will receive the same treatment in return.

Marriage preparation: Tips & advice for the groom

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice – When Guys Fall In Love, This Is Exactly What They’re Feeling

Love is a funny thing. I find it almost impossible to explain why or how I know I’m in love with someone. Usually, I just… know. I also know, though, that if your partner asks why you love them and you say because you just do, they’re probably going to give you the cold shoulder for the rest of the day. Oops! Since I’m absolutely terrible at this, I wanted to know exactly how it feels when guys fall in love. “Maybe I could learn a thing or two about expressing my feelings,” I thought. Or maybe this would simply be great intel for my next relationship. *Insert evil laugh here.*

Consider this. If women are supposedly more emotional, why is it always the guy running through the airport to deliver a passionate, tear-jerking speech to the woman he loves at the end of the movie? This isn’t just something that happens in the movies, either. Men typically say “I love you” first more often than women do. And anecdotally, my male partners have always been the first ones to say, “I love you,” in every relationship I’ve been in. What I’m saying is, we’ve got to start giving guys more credit IRL for being able to feel and express complex, overwhelming emotions — like love.

Here’s what falling in love feels like, according to 12 guys who’ve been in love. Sometimes, its poetic. Other times, it’s gut-wrenching.

 

 

This is kind of beautiful.

 

– Brennan*, 29

Sometimes, love takes on a life of its own.

 

 

– Kyle*, 27

I think this pretty much sums it up, no?

 

 

Wow, I’m in love with this response.

I wasn’t ready for this.

– Francis, 23

They can’t all be gems.

 

 

Is it bad that I can relate?

 

 

I mean, he’s not wrong.

 

One of my favorite movies about love is The Wedding Planner because Jennifer Lopez’s character Mary says very honestly, “I don’t feel anything about love.” It’s ironic because, like the title of the movie suggests, her job as a wedding planner is all about love but I get where she’s coming from. It isn’t until her soon-to-be ex-fiancé explains to her that, “Love can’t always be perfect. Love is just love,” that she realizes her whole approach has been wrong. There’s no right way to fall in love and that’s what these guys have proved.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am and 12pm EST.

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Dating and Relationship Advice – 15 Ways Women’s Manipulating Dating Tactics Affect Men

Dating in 2018 can be tricky, especially for women. Even though we have more options than ever at our fingertips (technology in the form of Tinder and other dating sites), the dating world can be a frustrating pool to wade around in. A lot of the time, women keep their guards up in order to properly filter through a sea of jerks that are swimming around out there, so much so that one surefire guard happens to be turning into a jerk herself. While, yes, this can keep the creepers at bay, it can mess with the psyche of the men who are actually good and decent.

Okay, yes, I get it – those are few and far in between it seems, but they ARE out there, and when women start using especially toxic dating manipulation tactics, it’s the nice men who can unknowingly become random collateral damage. Sure, we women like to go off about the men in our pasts who have burned us and tell people who THEIR tactics have hardened us. So, when we do it to others, while we’re trying to step back into the dating world again, we can’t see the damage we cause to the men who clearly AREN’T our idiot exes.

Here are 15 ways women’s manipulating dating tactics have an effect on the good guys.

 

15. Dangerous Tactics Can Give Them Low Self-Esteem

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Self esteem

Sometimes, if a woman has been burned before in the past while dating, it can knock her self-esteem down a few notches, and that can be one of the worst feelings in the world. So, sometimes, as a defense mechanism, a good woman will turn around and do the same thing to a different man after the fact. It’s not like she’s INTENTIONALLY attempting to break this new guy, it’s that she’s demonstrating what she’s technically been through herself. Now, this can work when it comes to absolute trash dudes, but if you do it to a good-natured man, it WILL have the same effect that it did on the woman – it will give him low self-esteem that can follow him around for a long while.

 

14. Trust Factors Fly Right Out The Window

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Trust

Trust is the key component in ANY relationship. EVER. If a woman happens to be manipulative in the dating phase of a relationship, she WILL be found out. It’s the same with anyone – man or woman – if you’re a manipulative rube, you will be discovered. And when you’re discovered, the trust is shattered. And we all know how long it takes to build that back up again. And even if a couple is able to, the structure in which the new trust is built upon is shaky at best. If a nice guy finds out that a woman is being manipulative at the start of a relationship, he will most likely forgive her, but it’s never forgotten, and the entire relationship will end up liquefying.

 

13. Cause Them To Have Intimacy Issues… Even Drive Them To Cheat

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Cheating

It’s one thing if a woman is coy and witty when dating – THAT’S a turn on. If she’s emotionally manipulative, that will come back and bite her in the rear. I know some women think it’s a quid-pro-quo thing if a man is that way to her, why can’t she be that way back to him? But if you manipulative the wrong type of man, it’s going to come full circle back. Once found out, this can drive them to have intimacy issues since they can probably never look at you the same way again. So what do they do? The worse case scenario is it drives them into the arms of someone else – someone who ISN’T manipulative and will treat them with respect without playing mind games.

 

12. They Can Shut Him Down Emotionally

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Emotional

Dating can be innocent enough, at least to someone who dates frequently. Sometimes, if one person is more invested than the other person, things can get out of hand pretty quickly. Feelings are overlooked and people start to get hurt. If a woman is playing the puppet master with a nice guy in the salad days of a relationship, eventually, the guy will figure it out. It may not be right at first, but the inevitable will come, and it will have some startling repercussions. Especially emotionally. If a woman is tugging at the heartstrings of a guy she’s only messing with, it will cause decent men to begin to shut down emotionally – first to everyone around them, and then to her. And that stuff will follow him from relationship to relationship.

 

11. Can Cause Him To Start Lying To Himself

Lies

In the beginning of a relationship, if a man is completely consumed by the woman he’s dating, he won’t BELEIVE that she’s manipulating him if she actually is. But there are stages to this: not believing she’s doing anything wrong is first, followed by realization and then not caring that she is. At least, that’s what he’ll tell himself. He’ll start lying to himself – telling himself that he doesn’t care. Pretty soon, he’ll start to believe his own lies and become numb. It’s a sad process, but it happens unfortunately to good guys. He doesn’t want to believe the girl he’s dating is manipulative and pretty soon, he’ll teach himself to not actually see it, which is more dangerous in itself. He thinks if he doesn’t believe it, it won’t be true, even though it’s staring him right in the face.

 

10. They Begin To Project

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Projecting

Now, we all know that men tend to project when THEY’RE doing something wrong. Say, if they’re cheating, or thinking about cheating, they’ll be the one to accuse THEIR partner of cheating because if they’re doing it (or thinking about it) their partner has to be doing the same thing. However, if they were once a decent guy who got caught up in a woman’s manipulative dating rouse, they’ll begin to project not only big things that they’re considering (oh, like cheating) but other things as well. You see, they’re actually the victim in this dangerous little game, but they won’t want to see themselves as such, so they start projecting HER as the victim, which, if a woman is cunning enough, will play right into.

 

9. He Can Begin Manipulating Himself

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Ah yes, the classic case of the student becoming the teacher. Yes, this can happen, and when it does, it’s usually at the hands of some karmic force coming back to bite us in the rear. Sometimes, a nice guy is just done being that – a nice guy (and no, I’m not talking about those dudes who claim that “all women like the bad boys why can’t they go after the nice guys like me” but are, in fact, whiners) if they discover they’re being manipulated by the woman he’s dating. So what do they do? Well, if they’re smart, they’ll start doing it right back. Now, I know that may seem like a match made in heaven, but if he truly is a nice guy, manipulating himself will leave a sour taste in his mouth and he’ll bail on the relationship.

 

8. Cause Them To Be Submissive (Or Weak)

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Weak

I have never been fond of submissive men – while I despise aggressive men, usually falling someone where in the middle of the spectrum is usually the best place to be. However, it takes one manipulative individual to break down a man emotionally, and leave him a shell of a man. And it takes a special sort of witch to do this in the beginning of a relationship and is able to break a man so quickly and effortlessly – even if she doesn’t mean to do so. Depending on the type of manipulation tactics performed (and yes, there is a great deal of them depending on the woman), a man’s head can be left spinning and strip him of any sort of willpower he has over himself. He’ll become submissive and at her beck and call.

 

7. They Can Allow Men To Act In Ways In Which They Normally Wouldn’t (You Know – Like A Moron)

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Moron

No one wants this. And why? Because there are enough male morons in the world today. Just look at Hollywood – Tinsel Town is in the middle of spring cleaning all their male morons out of the industry, and women are slowly starting to take over (yessssss, more of that please). Now, while those men acted on their own accord, stupidity, and masculinity, there are some impressionable men who, when in a relationship with a confusing and devious woman, he can start changing the way he acts… meaning, he starts to act like an idiot. Now, what type of idiot he starts to act like is entirely dependant on his personality ahead of time, but know this – no moron is a good moron. Be sure to keep that in mind, ladies.

 

6. Switch Their Taste In Women Altogether

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Taste

So when you first got with your guy, he was attracted to strong-willed, brilliant women? Oh, but what’s that? After the relationship faltered, he’s starting to date the bimbo type? The ones who giggle at everything and need to be rescued every five minutes whenever they get stuck inside a revolving door? There may be a reason for that. If a nice guy, who has always been drawn to intelligent women, gets burned by a smarty in some sort of manipulative fashion, it could possibly change his taste in women altogether. He’ll be drawn to the less complex because he believes they wouldn’t hurt him in the same, devastating way. The less complex, the less the chance the woman will be able to hurt him in a manipulative fashion.

 

5. They Can Start To Release Their Anger Randomly

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Anger

In a good relationship, two people start to reflect and project each other’s best qualities in one another. However, this usually comes after the dating phase of the relationship when the two know each other on a deeper level. However, if one party is manipulative, it will wear on the other person, and things can get pretty out of hand. If a guy dating someone who is even a little bit manipulative in her tactics, he won’t want to release his anger on her, so he’ll start taking it out on those around him, especially if he’s blinded by her. He’ll take it out on his friends and family, but not her – at least not yet. Frustration sets in and when it does, anger follows suit.

 

4. They Can Make Them Take Out Their Aggression On The Next Girl

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Aggression

So you managed to manipulate a guy at the beginning of your relationship (you know, the dating phase), but it just so happened he was a nice guy… or at least he started out as one, and now he’s starting to change a little bit for the worse. If a manipulation tactic you took with the nice guy you’re seeing happens to be the whole “be mentally aggressive” tactic, chances are, if you’re just looking for a fling to be flung, he’s going to attempt to do so with the next girl. And if it ended badly with you, he’s going to take out all his aggression on her. Nice guys can be impressionable at times and if he’s hurt to a point, he’s going to assume that EVERYONE is out to hurt him (like we women tend to at times) and his aggressive walls will go up.

 

3. Change Their Taste In… Movies And TV? Okay

Check Out!!! 15 Ways Women’s Manipulating Dating Tactics Affect Men!?

Nope

OH YES, THIS IS VERY POSSIBLE. Women are very interesting creatures who have powers beyond people’s (especially men’s) comprehension. And one of these powers happens to be… we can change the taste of movies/tv/music etc in a person we find desirable and who happen to find us desirable. It’s called being in a relationship. Though, if WE happen to be the ones who use our powers for evil instead of good, and happen to screw up a perfectly decent human being, we can end up changing a lot about them – including changing their taste in entertainment. If a manipulative woman is figured out by a nice guy, and the guy was burned, he won’t want to watch or do anything that reminds him of her. His tastes will start to change. Maybe that’s for the better if he was a Nickleback fan.

 

2. Change Their Train Of Thought (And Not Always For The Better)

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Thought

This happens more so with the more impressionable men: manipulative women have a power over men, especially when dating. It’s like they’re messing with their brains, which can have a lasting effect on them. If a woman who is skilled in the art of getting men to do her bidding gets her hands on an impressionable nice guy, she can change his way of thinking – and it’s never for the better. She can harden him into a brutal and all too real stone-like figure. This once nice guy who had a positive outlook on life has been tainted, and a shadow has fallen over his realm of thought – especially when it comes to other women. If you think this is a good thing, ladies – you’re out of your mind.

 

1. The Tactics Can Stop Men From Believing In Love Altogether

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Love

Being in a horrible relationship can have a lasting effect on a person and even ruin them for life. It literally changes everything – from how they see and act around other people, to how they see and act in the world itself. When our hearts and souls are messed with, it can rip us apart from the inside out. When we find out that we’re the victim of scheming while in the dating phase of a relationship, it hurts. Some men are just as vulnerable as women are whether we ladies want to believe it or not. If we happen to come out of a manipulative relationship and are the same way with the next guy, it can ruin him just as much as it ruined you. It can make them stop believing in love altogether. And yes, this happens more than one thinks.

 

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Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 2pm EST.

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Dating and Relationship Advice – 12 Things Mature Men Don’t Do

The thing is, few young people – and too few older people as well, I’m sad to say – don’t really know what it means to be a mature man. A truly mature man is a strong and confident individual, a diligent provider, passionate and caring lover, brave protector, problem solver, careful listener, a safe port in a storm and a friend you can depend on.

Being a confident individual who knows a thing or two about life, understands that others depend on him and has his priorities straight, a mature man will never exhibit behaviors associated with inexperienced, immature and weak people. Here are the things that mature men don’t do.

1. They don’t let fear keep them from achieving happiness and success

Fear – whether it be fear of failure, fear of being reprimanded or fear of being rejected – is something that keeps most men back. Living in fear means being docile and never seizing big opportunities, which can negatively impact your career, love life, interpersonal relationships and mental well-being. A mature man knows that fear is always present, but he knows who to deal with it.

He doesn’t hesitate to put himself out there and take some risks, particularly when the only consequence to taking an action will be a slightly bruised ego or a bit of discomfort. Mature men live on the very edge of their comfort zone and take frequent trips into the wilderness that lies beyond that edge.

2. They don’t go do things just to please others

You often see young guys who start working out to impress girls, men who read up on wine tasting or art just so others perceive them as classy, and you also have those who go out of their way to come across as smart, so that their boss and coworkers will respect them more. Mature men are not motivated by what others think – their actions are motivated by a sincere desire to improve, learn and develop in a direction that they themselves have chosen.

They train to be healthier and stronger, they read books and take classes to expand their knowledge and develop skills in areas that they find useful or interesting. In other words, they know who they are and what they want, and although they respect others’ opinions, they are only governed by what they believe is the best choice.

3. They don’t create an idealized image of a woman in their mind

Many relationships fall apart when immature men realize that the image of the ideal woman that they have put on a pedestal and have been admiring all this time doesn’t really sync up with reality. Many guys go from zealous admiration to misguided misogyny when their deluded expectations aren’t met by real women. Women are just like men – they have their strengths and weaknesses, admirable traits and forgivable faults, desires and fears. A mature man knows this and feels much more at ease with women, seeing them as his equal, and can thus develop sincere and healthy relationships.

4. They don’t get baffled by a woman’s words or actions

Even though mature men treat women as equals, they are aware of the simple fact that men and women are fairly different on a number of levels – e.g. from a biochemical, psychological and social standpoint. We are brought up differently and our brains are wired differently, and a mature man understands that women communicate, argue and are emotionally affected by things differently than men are.

This is why such a man is not easily baffled or angered by a woman’s words or actions, and is more than capable of seeing things from a different perspective and picking up on subtle cues – it’s not about mind reading, just about developing a deeper understanding of the female psyche and body language cues.

5. They don’t hold grudges

Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. – Buddha

Arguments will happen between family members, friends, lovers and coworkers, it is inevitable if you spend a lot of time with someone. However, a clear sign of maturity is the ability to cool off after an argument and let go of all the negative feelings. You will hear the phrases “I’m sorry,” “forgive me, I was wrong to do that,” “oh, just forget about it, it’s nothing, really,” and “water under the bridge” spoken by mature men, as they give and receive apologies and move on with their lives. Harboring resentment will poison your relationships and lead to unhappiness.

6. They don’t feel insecure about their appearance and style

Another big issue many men have is that they feel insecure about the way they look, dress and act. Insecurities lead to fear, anxiety and anger, which will negatively affect your life in many different ways. Insecure men are afraid to experiment with fashion as they don’t want to be considered feminine, and they don’t feel comfortable in their own shoes.

The world has evolved, and fashion sensibilities have drastically changed. There are a number of fashion accessories that can be worn by both sexes, and you don’t even have to sacrifice utility for style. A mature man is confident in his appearance and unique fashion sense, and doesn’t care about a few people disapproving or making negative comments.

7. They don’t distance themselves from their family

As the years go by and we mature, keeping strong family ties becomes more apparent. There are some instances where it is not possible for a family to stay close, but most of us can afford to spend a bit more time with our parents, relatives, wife, and kids. Quality family time strengthens bonds and a mature man sees himself as being part of a larger codependent group.

8. They don’t allow people to bully them

There is a difference between being confrontational and being assertive, and it is not something that immature guys really understand. Mature men have the self-respect, self-control and confidence to set and enforce boundaries – if others try to push too far and bully them, these men will stand their ground and project a strong dominant energy. They cannot be coerced into doing something that they don’t want to do, nor will they sit by and let someone walk all over them. There is no need for them to resort to violence or shouting in most cases, as they can solve problems by standing tall and speaking up for themselves in a strong stern voice.

9. They don’t moan and despair when faced with challenges

Defeatism and moaning are things that a mature man sees no need for, and has no time for. When faced with challenges this type of man will remain collected, even helping calm others and keeping their spirits up, and work on finding the right solution. Often sacrifices have to be made and plenty of hard work put into solving big problems, but this is not something that men should shy away from. It is a simple rule that these men abide by – either put forth a constructive solution or stay quiet until you can find one. This makes the people around them feel safe and stay positive.

10. They don’t see their job as something boring that they have to put up with

While some people just view their jobs as something they need to push through mindlessly, so that they can go home and do what they want, the mature way of going about it is to give your best at your job and look for opportunities to improve and take your career to the next level. Mature men realize that others depend on them, so their career is a very big priority. Constantly improving and striving to earn more so that you can provide for your loved ones and still be able to afford some luxuries that will make you happy – this is the goal that these men set for themselves.

11. They aren’t afraid to take action and make difficult decisions

There will be times in everyone’s life where hard decisions need to be made, and to overcome adversity you often need quick thinking and the ability to take action at the right moment. A mature man will make reservations in advance when he wants to take his date out, talk to his boss about a promotion opportunity, sit his friends down and talk them out of doing something stupid even if it means that they will get mad at him, put himself in danger to protect his loved ones or sacrifice his comfort to ensure their happiness. This doesn’t mean that mature men always know exactly what to do or have the ability to handle any situation, but they will try to the best of their ability to ensure a favorable outcome.

12. They don’t set unrealistic goals

Some people will often get disappointed and quit because they have set unrealistic goals for themselves, right from the start and are then unable to achieve them. An important aspect of maturity is being able to correctly gauge your capabilities and be honest with yourself, which allows mature men to set more realistic goals. They are patient enough to dedicate themselves to slowly making progress in the long run and understand that the ultimate goal isn’t attaining quick results, but sustainable results.

 

Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on this post!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am and 12pm EST.

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Dating and Relationship Advice – Smell Me Again: The 5 Best Men’s Colognes That Make Women Go Wild

Love the old natural manly smell? Well, as much as a lot of women are turned on by a sweaty well-built guy, there’s nothing worse than smelling like you have been working in a barn all day during an important meeting or a date.

 

NUMBER 5 BY HUGO BOSS

While the Boss brand might be an old timer in the fragrance business, it still stands out as the ultimate gentleman’s fragrance, and this brand gives out their unique, young and vibrant edge. Boss NO.6 is sweet, with a masculine scent. Perfect for dinner dates and nights out, it’s tame and not all overpowering. If you get close enough to a woman, then you’ll probably understand why Hugo Boss made this fragrance. If you are looking to be associated with class or sparking some midnight romance, then you need to consider this fragrance. This perfume can be purchased at Amazon for $35.

 

4.JEAN PAUL GAULTIER

 

Love a unique scent? Well, nothing gets more unique than Jean Paul Gaultier. This cologne has been designed with aromas that contrast, and the end result is a unique fragrance that will definitely get you some action on the first date (it depends on how ready you are). But on a serious note, you might never get luckier than this with a fragrance. This fragrance was designed for the boy who is bold enough to stand out in front of men, and according to Men’s Fitness, this scent is guaranteed to make women go crazy. Its contrasting flavors of mint, warm vibes, and bittersweet aromas will make even the average man standout.

 

3.ISSEY MIYAKE

Want to have a casual date? Looking for a hookup, or just an outing to impress? Well, you better be wearing Issey Miyake. This fragrance’s first impression is a clear mix of citrus scents, with a subtle woodsy undertone in the background, making it the perfect blend for a manly scent. It’s clean and refreshing, something that will definitely appeal to the lucky lady. It’s often hard to get something that you could wear at work and still try out in a nightclub, however this isn’t the case with Issey Miyake. Its alluring scent and rich woodsy undertones make it a silent killer. This is the sort of cologne that will get you compliments wherever you go as its versatility is on another level. Its costs just about $40 on Amazon.

 

2.CREED AVENTUS

 

On 2016’s colognes to buy list, this fragrance was #3, and it’s for a good reason. First of all, it lasts long and has a memorable scent. This is one scent you won’t regret losing a penny over. This is the kind of cologne that get you noticed once you step into the room, and it’s all thanks to its unique fruity fragrance.

While most fragrances will have you using a gallon a day to get noticed, it’s not the case with Creed Aventus. If you are looking to get noticed, or build a signature scent around work, then you definitely need to get this product. It’s going to be hard for that lucky girl to forget you with this fragrance on.

 

1.LORIS AZZARO MEN’S CHROME

 

If you are eyeing a girl at work, then this is the fragrance to go buy. It was designed for the office setting. This fragrance smells expensive, and no offense to the ladies, but you know how they like expensive things. If you are looking to fetch a few compliments at work, then you need to get this cologne. It’s really bad if you are the guy at the office that everyone avoids because of the farm animal smell you give off, but with Loris Azzaro Men’s Chrome, everyone will be fighting for a seat next to you, and by everyone I mean the ladies. With its tangy woodsy blend, it offers the right aroma to lure any women you might be chasing.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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