Kita – Chapter 42 – Yellow Fever

While baby’s away in Florida, she’s been on my mind and I’ve been thinking about my attraction to women. Asian women in particular. I love all women of all races but find Asian women especially bewitching.

These days you can’t get anywhere with out someone being called out for having yellow fever. Lets talk about what it means honestly, without resorting to ugly name-calling that usually comes out of discussions around this subject.

The term’s been around for a while and is similar to the derisory term Jungle Fever to describe white women who are attracted to black men. That term has largely disappeared but the term Yellow Fever has really sunk in and become a well-known term not used exclusively by Asian women, although most of them are no doubt aware of the phenomenon.

Let’s be 100% clear on one thing: the Interracial Asian/Caucasian couples which are so frequent these days are the total opposite of the cliche of the THAI bride (typically married to an older western man, usually unattractive and with limited options),since the women are from the same backgrounds, similarly educated, etc. Unfortunately, people still have the idea that western men are exploiting so-called submissive Asian women?

Unfortunately the submissive Asian woman is largely a result of Confucian culture in which women are raised to respect men and follow orders from them. No doubt there are some men who will find this behavior attractive and this may be the reason why they are more taken by Asian women.

It must be admitted here that many men find American society to be incredibly rights based and libertarian. you can’t say or do anything without someone being offended. This has truly had a terrible effect on relationships, with 1 in 3 marriages ending in divorce.

I’d be prepared to bet that most women in modern interracial relationships are more intelligent and better-educated than their western male partners. Far from being submissive, most Asian women are very assertive, they simply have a different approach to dealing with say, their frustration and anger than most other women do. I don’t now how effective shouting is but most kinds of women still feel that this is the way to deal with relationship problems.

I’ve been spending time with Asian women for the last few years. I guess success breeds success because I’m making more and more friends with girls who happen to be Asian women. The thing is I know what I’m dealing with and it’s all very reassuring for me. I find that these women enjoy the same things I do and we are culturally similar in spite of being from very different countries I did some internet research on ‘yellow fever’ and it seems most people using it are some women who feel that men shouldn’t be attracted to them. And yet, what is a man supposed to do? When I was younger, I was attracted by blonde women who had long lega (because this was what society held up as a beauty ideal). So I went after these women, even though I was disappointed when I found out that they weren’t what I had expected.  In life, you must go after what you want in order to be happy. Being around these women makes me happy and I’m in no mind to stop, despite what some people would no doubt put down to an unnatural fixation.

According to an article on the Harvard Crimson, ‘There is nothing wrong with being a white man who is attracted to Asian women. Many times, it is a subconscious desire that you can’t really control anyway.’

And the article was written by an Asian woman, Nian Hu,

So there you have it.

So Yellow Fever be damned, here’s a song by one hit wonder, Yello.

I miss Kita!

 

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Kita – Chapter 39 – Moments Before Florida

Kita popped into the salon for the last time before she goes to Florida for winter break. She leaves on December 12th and will be back in January on the 8th. I’ll miss her when she’s gone, but I kind of need a break from her to reassess my feelings for her.

I give her some crackers and she munches them happily because a we all know by now, baby loves snacks.

She wants to try one of the stronger tingle lotions tonight. She’s fearful to put it on all over so I tell her we should just put a small amount on her forearm about the size of a half dollar.

I take some from one of the bottles on the shelf and put it on her arm. I like that she lets me gently massage it into her skin. I love touching her and she’s so soft and supple. This to me is an intimate moment. She looks up at me as I gently caress her forearm, rubbing in the lotion. She smiles. I go in for the kiss. Her lips yield to me.

“Gonna miss you Kita.”

“Mmm… You too. That felt good.”

“The kiss or the lotion?”

“Both! That felt so good I wish you could do the rest of me!”

My brain explodes with erotic images of me rubbing the lotion all over Kita’s nubile body.

Kita giggles. “All right. I need to go tan. Then I have to go home and do one more paper for finals and then pack for Florida.

Off she goes into Room #2 with the Sweet & Sexy lotion I got for her.

While she’s tanning I’m thinking how much I’ll miss her, and how we may be possibly be hiring her in January to work here part time. I wonder how that will change the dynamic of our relationship. If we do hire her she’ll probably work the shifts I don’t so I’ll rarely see her. That would suck, but then she could tan for free and will probably go tanning even more than she does now. Maybe we’ll step up our little game outside of the salon. Maybe we can get together for lunch, dinner or some weekend fun.

Who am I kidding? Her working here would mean she would work on Saturday from 11 to 5 and I’d work Sunday, 11 to 4. That pretty much kills any weekend plans I could make with her. She doesn’t drink so I can’t meet her for a drink. Maybe I could take her to Dan Dan one night after she finishes work for noodles and pot stickers. (Local Asian cuisine on 16th and Sansom Street) I’m sure she’d love that. I’ll figure something out. Who knows, I’m so fickle that by the time she comes back after a month I may have either: A: Moved on to another romantic target, or B: Simply lost interest.

I’m not going to worry about it. Kita finishes her session and comes back to the counter to chit chat for awhile.

“Kita, could you run into Room 5? There’s a grey plastic bag on top of the microwave in there. Could you bring it to me?”

She scampers off like a puppy and does my bidding. When she comes back she sets it on the counter.

“Open it.”

“Oh my God! I love it! Thank you. (Hug and kiss) “That’s from the snack company you always get me. I saw them on the website and loved them and you got them for me. You’re amazing! Thank you!”

“Merry Christmas, Kita. I’ll Miss you.”

“I’ll send you texts and pics from Florida.”

“That’ll be great Kita.”

“This is so nice. I feel like I should have baked you cookies.”

That’s a nice verbal guilty gesture but I already know that poor Kita is so self absorbed and vacant that not only will that never happen she’ll vanish in the next few days without a word.

I love this little nut but only because she’s cute and I’m enjoying our banter. The confused kisses are delicious and wonderful but I know she has no idea who she is. Is there a way I can navigate that into a passionate love affair? I don’t know. Do I want that? Of course. Phicklephilly has always been an elegant dating blog, but given the chance, I would split little Kita like a ripe melon. I would bring her to places she has never imagined.

Kita is enjoying free lotion, snacks, pepper spray and snacks, and there is a lion in the grass that’s ready to spring forward and fuck her back to China. It’s like a present wrapped in a gift that pokes your palm.

Kita jumps up and hugs me. She immediately puts my hands on her breasts and kisses me, her nipples are always hard, like pretzel bites. God I love her, but I’m so confused.

Okay… she’s going to Florida for a month on winter break. She says she’s going to text me and send me pics of her town. That would be great but I know that’s never going to happen.

She wants a job here at the salon. Probably not happening either. Achilles likes to keep it simple and tight and we’re fine with the way it is now. I’m the king of this place with multiple five star Yelp reviews. We want to light the fitness part of our business, we don’t need outsiders. If I bring honey in, it would be just to give me a day off.

She leaves the salon and says she’ll be back for one more session, but I know It’s a lie. All my beautiful babies are so unreliable.

It’s okay. They all do this.

Kita left the salon with her treats and for the moment, it was done.

 

 

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Kita – Chapter 34 – Thoughts While She’s Away

“I stand outside my pain and frustration now.”

I love Kita. Kita has no idea how I feel about her. It’s okay. She’s so young and inexperienced, she can’t see it.

I met her and in classic phicklephilly fashion and fell in love with her. I love my real girlfriend Cherie with all my heart, but this is just a symptom of the universe. That’s why this blog exists.

I’m fickle as hell and fall in love everyday. That sucks for Cherie, but I’m not directly hurting her. I just don’t see her much and don’t know how much longer I’ll be around.

I met Kita. I had a thing for her immediately. I wrote about her without even knowing her because the iron was hot. Then by some miracle I got to know her. I’ve loved that. Because that’s the way my brain operates. But I have control over that now. But I still want what I want. It makes me feel alive.

I think about this silly confused little girl. Beautiful. Doesn’t realize it. Obsessed with tanning and diet and exercise. Little connection with dad. Little connection with men and relationships.

My daughter is her same age and totally has it together.

Kita was with some loser guy that dumped her after 6 months at 16. She lost her shit and her mother put her on medicine. Not good, but here we go. Then she met JR and that was a 3 year odyssey of childish nonsense and discovery. They had sex, and were a couple. He got tired of her nonsense and cut her loose.

She suffered and rebounded into Steve. Another loser. If you’ve been reading the series you’ll see that he’s an absolute fail. I don’t even know him and I feel bad that he’s so confused with who he is.

Then there’s me.

The washed up banker, ad man that now works at a fucking tanning salon. A man that has decided to leave corporate life. A man that is a good dad to his daughter and a decent brother to his sisters.

This lovely bird has no clue how to navigate the perils of dating life. Rich family and boarding school for girls doesn’t groom girls for life.

Kita has come to me. She loves to tan and I’m kind and sweet. I have experience and I can help her. But I’m torn.

I’m not losing my shit over it. I’ve been at this a long time. I’m in a relationship with Cherie and I love her very much, but in classic phicklephilly fashion, I’m helpless to play this out.

I buy an extra banana when I go to Wawa knowing Kita’s coming in the salon. I do this all the time.

I know Kita loves snacks so I have a friend that sells trail mix products and I have secured a six pack of snacks I can give to her. (She goes crazy for them and hits the bag like a starving pup.)

I bought her pepper spray and showed her how to use it to protect my herself. (I haven’t done this for my girlfriend of a year)

I had dinner with her at one of the finest Italian restaurants in the city. We had the best table in the house. )Haven’t done that with Cherie either.)

I tell this story and they can’t believe it. But I have that power.

There’s something about Kita that just drops my dopamine.

And That’s all I need apparently. Kita is a sober, boring, confused 21 year old cute Asian girl. I don’t even know why I like her. She brings absolutely nothing to the table other than beauty and a slamming fit body.

But I’m not that guy.

Maybe I want to rescue her, and spend time with her because I’m obviously attracted to her but…. maybe I want to spend time with her because she doesn’t really fit in with her peers.

I’m happy just to hang with her.

I like that.

As sharp as I am in this world, sometimes my mind is dull when it comes to obvious cues.

All the kissing.

It’s always at the salon and I have to protect the business, but I may be missing the point. As confused as Kita is she seems to slip me in during her weakness. I love it, and I want more but I want to be careful with this one.

I bought her a little treat for Christmas. It’s chocolate pretzels with candy cane sprinkles upon them. She saw them on a snack site the other day and loved them so I knew it would be a small safe gift I could give my love.

Torture.

But not really.

I stand outside my pain and frustration now. It feels good.

I have a solid relationship with Cherie and that’s rock n roll.

But I get to play with young girls like Kita and enjoy the rush of courtship and confusion, but I never lose. I get to get off on the game and then go back to Cherie. I know some of you may have a problem with this but it’s my journey.

I’m going to ask her out to lunch when she gets back to Philly.

 

I’ve been thinking about this for the last two days. I just have to ask my love. She can’t see the lion. She’ll do it. For all of the wrong reasons. She really likes me. She loves that I’m always there for her. Mentor. Dad. her response will always be yes. She has little experience with men.

My inner voice scolds me: “Charles… You love her in a phicklephilly way. You have Cherie. Hold it together. Don’t do anything stupid at lunch.”

I think the most obvious and sad part of this tale is this. Here we have phicklephilly guy completely smitten by a young girl. She is absolutely clueless in the ways of love. The thing she needs is a good boy to step up and take her out on dates. Buy her a romantic dinner, give her bananas when she stops in, give her breakfast bars and snack mix as gifts, (she loves that) give her romantic advice and take her to lunch.

That’s what I’ve been doing.

Kita is completely blind to my love for her.

She’s a self absorbed, selfish girl, that doesn’t understand what is being provided to her. But I’m foolish to ever think I would ever get to savor the fruit of this elegant flower.

Why have I wasted my time on this sweet little project?

 

Maybe not. You never know what could happen.

 

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Kita – Chapter 31 – The Realization and Clarity of My Advice

“He ignored me for two weeks without a reason.
Then he came back.”

I recently told Kita to write down her feelings in regard to her ex boyfriend, JR. She’s still reeling from the pain of the breakup and I know that writing this blog has helped me work out all of my thoughts and feelings. You can think about these things. You can talk to other people about what happened. But when you write it down it sort of gets it out of you and lays all of your thoughts onto the paper in front of you. You can see the whole event in a single snapshot.

Kita took my advice and did just that. I’m really proud of her. Below is what she wrote.

Pretty clear picture, right? This guy obviously sucks and is an immature moron.

But here’s the thing. What if she’s the problem and not JR? I’ve known Kita a few months now, and I’ve learned quite a bit about her. Let’s review.

  1. Has no idea how to navigate love and loss
  2.  Has been taking anti-depression medication since she was 16 years old
  3. Texts way too much
  4. Overthinks things constantly
  5. Clingy
  6. She’s 5’0″ and thinks her ideal weight should be 96 lbs. (She recently went to the doctor to renew her prescription and he weighed her and she is 106 lbs. and she’s freaking out about it.
  7. Always saying how she’s so pale. (She is one of the darkest tanned people that come to this salon!)
  8. Works out every day. (Too much)
  9. Doesn’t eat enough and eats the wrong things.
  10. Self Absorbed. (If it’s not about her, it’s not discussed)

I can see how between all of that and can’t even go out and have a drink. So to me overall she’s pretty boring.

But I adore her anyway.

I know.  She’s beautiful. I’m fickle, and I’m falling for her.

Hard.

 

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Kita – Chapter 30 – What Kind of Men do Asian Women go for?

Kita

If you’re a western guy and you’re interested in dating a girl from Asia, what are they looking for? I believe that all women are different but there are a few characteristics in Western men that I think Asian women are attracted to.

Number one: Kindness. The ‘nice guys finish last’ concept doesn’t apply to Asian women. In fact, it would be a real disadvantage if you tried to treat them with a lack of decency. Most western women will play games, deliberately making men wait before calling or texting back. But Asian women will be constantly in touch with you and will expect you to call them frequently. The more you call them, or be in communication, the more they will like you.

Number two: Men with a normal body shape. I mean, not the kind of gym-toned physique that is held up as the ideal shape among western men. I’m basing this solely on the guys I see dating Asian women. Now, maybe they are as attracted to these gym rats as Western women are, but it doesn’t seem this way, and I very rarely see someone with bulging biceps with an Asian woman.

Number three: Unattractive, or plain, homely looking men. Maybe Asian women have  a different aesthetic when it comes to standards of male attractiveness, but I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve noticed the imbalance of physical attractiveness in a White male/Asian female couple. The kind of guys who get nowhere with women from their own country are able to get with out and out knockouts. I’ll keep talking about this until I start seeing a less attractive Asian woman with a more attractive white guy, but I haven’t yet. By the way, Korean-American comedian Margaret Cho has a great gag about very attractive Asian women with ugly white guys. You can watch it here:  

Number four: Being an intellectual. In other words, you can be a geek, and it won’t be held against you. Why it would be a problem I don’t know. But most western women don’t care, so what can you expect? I feel that I’m not judged by Asian women if I prefer to stay in and read or learn a language instead of going out.

I think I got a real shot with Kita…

 

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Kita – Chapter 29 – Sweet and Sexy

“I’m going to see a shrink.”

“Why?”

“To help me deal with my depression over losing JR.”

“Okay. Well I’m sure it’ll help. It’s a tough time, and your friends and family can only do so much. It’s always good to get professional help when you can.”

“Yea. Do you have any snacks?”

“I do sweetheart. Let me get them from their hiding place.”

“Hiding place?”

“Yea. I have to hide any food I have here at the salon from Achilles. Anything he finds around the salon he eats. He can’t help it. He just loves to eat. There’s a secret little drawer in the back cabinet and I hid my snacks in there under some bags.”

“You’re funny!”

I return with an array of cereal bars she can choose from. She picks one and happily munches on it.

I love giving things to Kita. I like helping people in general, but it helps if you’re an adorable little Asian chick. I have a few more surprises for her today. I’m always trying to figure out new ways to improve her tanning experience. I hand her this:

“Ooooh! Sweet & Sexy! For me? Thank you! I love it! You’re so good to me Charles!”

Like our Kita, the lotion is sweet and sexy! I think it’s perfect for her. She’s never used a “hot” bronzer before. We call them tingle bronzers because they make your skin tingle when exposed to ultraviolet light.

There are all kinds of tanning lotions on the market. Perhaps you have used a few for yourself while out at the beach, inside at the tanning salon or simply to get a “tan” look. One very popular tanning lotion is the tingle tanning lotion. What’s so great about tingle tanning lotion you ask?

The reason these lotions are called tingle tanning is that they give a tingling sensation on your skin after you apply the lotion; hence the name. It’s certainly more intense than other tanning lotions on the market. What the lotion does is bring blood to the skin surface and, essentially, oxygen to affect the skin’s melanin. The more melanin that’s affected, the darker your skin is going to become. Basically the purpose to tingle tanning lotions is to boost the effects of UV rays you expose yourself to when lying in a tanning bed. Ultimate-inferno-tingle-lotion

Yes, your skin’s going to be red for approximately one hour after you tan. The redness is similar to a sunburn. However, the redness will fade and you’ll be fine.

What does it all mean? Basically, the lotion’s ingredients, Methyl Nicotinate or Benzyl, are designed to bring more oxygen into the skin by increasing the circulation of blood in your body as well as the increase the amount of oxygen on the surface of the skin. So, tingle tanning lotions are designed for people who want deep tans or have difficulty getting a tan.

Some folks give up on using tingle tanning lotions because of the sensation it gives. Some users have complained that the lotion is painful or uncomfortable. Other users have not made any complaints against this kind of lotion. It’s all depending on how rough your skin is and how high your pain level tolerance is. Everybody’s different, which means what you get from the experience could be different from your friends.

However, if you do endure whatever pain, if any, you will get the end result that the tingle tanning lotions are designed to do…give you tan skin!

If you can handle the temporary burning sensation you will come out of the bed looking darker.

When Kita comes out after her session she looks in the mirror. “Oh my God! I’m darker!”

She loves being dark as I’ve said before.

Baby’s happy.

“Thank you so much! You’re always taking good care of me!”

She hugs me tightly.  I feel her breasts compress against my chest. Then she places her hand on my cheeks and pulls my lips to hers. They are ripe, moist and yield to mine. It was a firm smooch but brief so as not to be discovered by a random client.

She smiles and I melt in her almond eyes. She grasps my hand and squeezes. “I have to go work on a presentation.”

Her hand slips away and she’s gone.

*Sigh…

 

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Kita – Chapter 28 – Hair Done & No Fun

Today is the Saturday I wanted to take Kita to Dave and Buster’s but it was the only day she could schedule her hair appointment. So I will continue to pursue her to get some fun in her life. I’m just floating around the city when I get a text.

“Hey, Charles. Look at my hair now.”

“You look like Storm from the X-Men.”

“Hahahaha”

“It’s like a silver head dress!”

“So happy I’m going blonder!!!”

“It’s going to look so awesome! I’m running some errands in the area. Need a Frappuccino?”

“I ate a banana recently, but thank you! It’s too cold outside to be running errands.”

“Yay! Bananas are better for you than coffee drinks. Oh, and it’s not too bad out now.”

Hours later…

“I talked to Achilles about working there! I want to do it. I am just looking at logistics with my classes and me going away for breaks. My classes are different so I’m making my schedule next week, so I’ll have a decision by then ok? Also, thank you for the Honey Grow card. (Smiley emoji)”

“Sounds great. No worries. We’ll work with your schedule. Take your time working out. You’re welcome! I knew the one person that could put that card to good use!”

An hour later…

“Can you make sure Achilles knows I’m still pondering it? I feel like he thinks I told him 100% yes. I brought up the schedule thing but I think he thought differently. Oh yea, I used the Honey Grow card today and it was delicious!”

“I’ll talk to him Monday. He and I already have decided to split the schedule between the two of us until we find someone. We’re going to open the gym in December so I may take more of his shifts while he runs the gym. Don’t stress, Kita. Take your time and we’ll figure it out.

Two hours later…

“Thanks Charles. I fell asleep. I’m exhausted for no reason.”

“I’m sure you’re tired, Kita. Big day. Hours at the salon creating the perfect blonde highlights! I hope you like it.”

“I do, I’m just so dead right now. And the weather and darkness so early never helps. Haha.”

“I get it. I just wrote an article for the salon that we’re going to send out to our members about Seasonal Affective Disorder. We worked on it today and I know it’s important that we communicate with our clients about the importance of how we can help them.”

“That’s awesome! Yeah, it really does affect your moods/emotions.”

“It’s paramount that we communicate the importance of controlled UV emissions to our clients for their well being during these cold, dark winter months in the Northeast. I’m glad you get it.”

“Yes because it definitely helps!!!”

“Well we’re here for you to absorb your power through our light! I’m going to do a stand up session before I start work tomorrow. Oh, and I have some new ideas to get you darker!!!”

“Thank you!!! (Smiley emoji) Thank goodness for tanning! And what are your ideas?”

“I have a special lotion, (Only for you my #1) and I want to try a 12 minute over exposure session and see what that does. Always creative.”

“Oh my! A special lotion???? The tingling one?”

“Yes! But it has a very gentle tingling vanilla and chocolate scent that I’m giving only to you. Always working hard for my Yelp reviews.”

“Wow sounds delicious!!! Hahah.”

 

By then it was almost midnight, so we both went to sleep.

Thing was, I wish she were sleeping next to me.

 

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