Online Dating Safety For Men


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Phicklephilly – Hang On Saint Christopher

“This has been the best therapy that I never had to pay for.”

I’ve been writing phicklephilly for over two and a half years now and there’s no end in sight. The phicklephilly book is finished and so is the Sun Stories book for Amazon. Now I’m working on the TV series. Why not? Sex in the City from a gentleman’s perspective.

Once I got through writing about all of the crazy dates I’ve been on since returning to Philadelphia from New York, and my relationships, I turned inward. I’ve been in a relationship with this lovely girl who I adore, but you can’t write a dating blog if you’re in a committed relationship. It just won’t work. So I started to write about my life and my past in general. I didn’t want the blog to lose its voice, and I certainly didn’t see this relationship coming. It’s been wonderful, and I love Cherie very much. She has an amazing, loving, calming effect on me. She’s a sweet, down to Earth girl who is also smart, and a sexual animal in the bedroom. What man wouldn’t want that?

She’s also not around all of the time, so there isn’t that “I have to put my time in, or I have to go do a bunch of things that I don’t want to do.” She is literally the greatest hits album in a relationship.

When I walk down the street with her I actually get a feeling that I’d love to have her as my wife. Because she’d be amazing at that. I can’t describe why, because I’ve had zero success with committed relationships and marriage but I feel it with her. First time in 30 years. Cherie would be a good wife. I swear it feels like that when I’m walking out in public. “Yea, this is my wife Cherie.”

I felt this like a week ago before she went to Japan. She’s just so chill and sweet and knows me.  When we’re together, it’s just like a great song. Whether it’s just doing nothing, watching a movie, mad sex, or eating together. It’s just so easy.

Isn’t that what life should be? I don’t know, because it’s never worked for me. But I’m older now. Maybe I’ve finally pulled my mind together. We’ve both been through all of our shit and we could actually settle down and be together and it could be a peaceful happy relationship. I have no idea what that looks like but this could be it.

But don’t worry. I’m not doing anything rash. That has always resulted in disaster. Every relationship I’ve ever been in has burned to the ground. Stay friends or whatever, it’s over.

I need my alone time. That’s paramount. But I have that with her. But if we got married, we’d have to obviously have to consider cohabitation. She has a wild little son. I don’t want that. I could handle him and help him, but I’m over kids. I’ve already raised Lorelei and she’s mint. I can’t go again.

When we’re together its golden but she’s extremely busy getting her education and working and I’m holding it together at the salon and building a business. I can’t risk that.

I’m finally out of the rat race and I’ve never been so happy. I’m working my butt off but for me now. My real talent is finally being realized. This is a moment at the precipice of greatness.

I’m just going to have to be the best person I can be to her because she loves me so much, and I love her and want to keep her. There are just a lot of moving parts to this life right now.

I’m not worried. I just need to be attentive to her and she has really been great with making time to see me. Our time lately has been wonderful. I’m very pleased at how things are going right now.

But why did I have the affair with Ambria if everything is so good now? I don’t know. I’ve always been loyal to all of my girls. I’m just a romantic gentleman. I know what’s right and what’s wrong. My father taught me that. But he was a cheater but admired that I wasn’t like him.

He made me but I’m not him.

But what if I am and I just haven’t had the opportunities that he’s had? What if I really am him?


I’m so busy now I don’t have much of a social life but when I do its compressed and intense because of what’s happening with the business. I’m no longer posting to or looking at stuff on social media because I don’t want people knowing what I’m doing and I no longer care about everyone’s life on Facebook, filled with food, babies, and events and vacations.

I just live my life now.

I’m happier than I’ve ever been and I don’t care what anyone else is doing and no longer care to let anyone in the world know what I’m up to.

With good reason.

I love Cherie. At my age I’m blessed to have her. A hot, beautiful 27-year-old babe that loves sex and lives to please me. Then why am I doing what I’m doing? Ambria? That’s just season 4 on Phicklephilly someday on Netflix.

Sometimes I think that writing this blog has finally released everything in me and I’ve found the perfect forum to do it. But what if phicklephilly is actually driving me to offend? What if because I have this forum now, I’m doing things and pushing the envelope to create better content?

Art imitating life, imitating art?

I think that’s what’s happening. I need content. I want to tell my stories and I love writing about my childhood. It feels wonderful to finally release all of my experiences and feelings onto the page. I love all of my followers and they have been amazing and supportive. This has been the best therapy that I never had to pay for.

I can get it all out and finally dump the freight car of baggage and stories I’ve been carrying around in my head for decades.

Can you even comprehend what that feeling is like? Once I write it and post it, I’m clear. I’ve worked it out and told the story. I publish and it’s out of me. It’s been a nightmare holding all of this in.

Now it’s all out there. Everything will eventually be out there to free myself of this burden in my hand.

When I started this blog I wrote about waitresses, crazy girls, and shitty dates I attempted to go on. Then I started to write about my relationships. That’s when the blog started to sing for me. But it was hard. Because those love affairs were over. So I had to romanticized dead relationships and dredge up all of those memories. Good and bad.

Then the rebounds and even more crazy.

Then I meet a great girl. Seems impossible I can go again with a girl this young but it works. But then when we’re in a rough patch of distance I willfully have an affair.

Something must have been missing, or do I just suddenly have the power and the availability?

This is all new ground for me and I don’t know why I even did it. I’m a decent, loyal man and I love my girlfriend very much. I don’t want to lose her and I don’t think I will. If you’ve been reading this blog you’ll know that we’re rock solid as ever and our relationship is glorious.

She’s over on the other side of the world with her family. I hope they’re all laughing and eating and happy together.

I’m not sorry for Ambria, but it happened.

I’ve worked 20 days in row at the salon non-stop to hold it together because it’s what’s needed. We’ve burned through 4 employees in a month and we have to get this gym open by Labor Day. I’ve got money tied up in this business. It needs to be successful and I won’t rest until it is.

I fit my friends in when I can and I’m making it work, but the grind is getting to me. But I’ll see it through for the business. The results could make us all wealthy.

My life is beautiful. Everything is moving forward. I’ve never been happier. I should have learned my lesson. I want things to work between me and lovely Cherie, who seems to be the perfect girl for me.

Everything’s great right?

Why do I keep saying how much I love Cherie and how happy I am over and over?

Am I trying to convince all of you?

Or Me?



Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Daughter Lorelei   (pictured above)


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Kara – Valentine’s Day Date

Some background: I had known Kara since she was in college and had a crush on her when she came into the bank I worked in. Came close to going out with her once, but it never really materialized. I lost touch with her for over a decade before getting back in touch on Facebook. We chatted in a Facebook friends way, but she was also a very outspoken feminist who was easy to anger, which lead to some “interesting” interactions.

Kara and I start talking more via Facebook closer to Valentine’s Day a couple of years ago and she began getting flirty and very interested in me out of the blue. Like I said, I had interest in her in the past so I figured, “Sweet! Better late than never.” Plans were made and we agreed to go out to a local bar the day before Valentine’s. I had made some references to a previous date I went on where I paid for the meal and the girl I was with ghosted me afterward. It was a shitty thing for her to do and felt she used me for a free meal. Of course after mentioning this, Kara gets super offended and sarcastic (first red flag). So instead of “inconveniencing” me by having me take her out to eat, the bar was suggested.

We’re at the bar that night and things are pretty chill, although it is worth noting that I like to drink and I do enjoy hanging at a nice bar. But I don’t like public drunkenness or drunk, rowdy, loud people.

It was karaoke night and she’s a singer, so she especially wanted to go that night. During a relatively short period of time she downs 4 beers and (at least) three shots (red flag number two) and she’s a slender woman. By this point as you can imagine, she’s pretty toasty. Meanwhile I nurse a beer down and have one shot of Jameson. Toward the end of the evening, she suggests getting together on Valentine’s Day for another date. We brainstorm on where to go and going out to eat is mentioned again as a possibility. Once again she tosses out the sarcastic jab about not wanting me to “feel used” by paying for dinner, complete with eye roll and all. So we settled on her cooking for me at her apartment. Ok cool. It’s a date.

I had taken off Valentine’s Day to get my car inspected anyway. I thought no problem, I’ll roll in during the day, get the sticker, and then swing by in the evening to her place. Well, it didn’t end up working that way. It started with the fact that the 2.5 hour ETA on the inspection turned into a 5.5 hour wait. During this time, the clock was ticking for me to get to her house. I texted her and explained what was happening saying I probably was not going to have time to stop and pick up anything for V Day due to this fiasco. She understood and just wanted me to get there. I finally get out of the shop with my sticker and get to her place (30 minutes later than we agreed). She had already started the dinner and was almost done with it, so we used that time to chill and talk. Everything was going fine. During this time she downs a third of a bottle of wine by herself (uh oh… I know a functioning alcoholic when I see one). We finish the main course and decide we want dessert, so we head to the local grocery store. There’s a winter storm warning with potential snow for the next day, so I stocked up on some food for myself while there. We get back to her place, finish up and I take my leave, agreeing to get together sometime soon. Again, all seems fine.

Two days pass and she sends me a text mentioning something about a Facebook post she made. So I go onto her wall and my jaw drops. She posted a rant about me (fortunately not naming names) essentially accusing me of being a barbarian for a multitude of reasons. Her friends chimed in and called me a Viking and other demeaning things. Upon pressing her for more info in private she expounded on my sins, and they were:

1.) I didn’t bring her anything on V Day and just “brought my appetite.” Even though I texted her and told her why I couldn’t stop due to the inspection delay, which I also reminded her that she said was okay and understood.

2.) I didn’t offer to pay for the food we bought at the grocery store. In fact, I had all the items in my hand ready to pay and I asked her point-blank if I could pay for everything. She said ‘no it’s fine I will pay for my stuff.’ I asked, “are you sure?” She again said it was fine.

3.) I did not help clean up after the meal she cooked. Actually, I had the plates in my hand placing them into the sink. I turned and I asked her, “Can I help you clean up?” She said, no it’s fine, I got it. I asked her, “Are you sure?” She again said it was okay.

4.) I accused her of being an alcoholic. Okay I fess up to this one — I did kind of say something about her drinking, but I was being mostly playful. She apparently took it as a great offense.

5.) I was ultimately just looking for an opportunity for sex. What? No. That was not my intention at all, and I told her as such.

Sadly, it all fell on deaf ears and she wasn’t interested in hearing my excuses, and I should be thinking of ways to make it all up to her. Oh, but apparently it was all okay, because “She wasn’t mad anymore.” Even if I gave her the complete benefit of the doubt on all her accusations, that’s still no excuse to make it public. It doesn’t matter if she named names or not; it was a douche move.

I decided I could not see myself with someone as insane as her with the threat of every spat we had posted on public social media. So I unfriended her. Two more days passed with no word and I thought, well she’s seen the error of her ways and understands why I dropped her, leaving it at that.


I get this text from her out of the blue absolutely ripping into me calling me all sorts of names and how she couldn’t believe I blocked her from FB (which I didn’t, I just unfriended). I calmly explained that her post was childish and that I was not a “Viking” or a “Barbarian” as it suggested. I ended with wishing her the best. She of course continues her verbal assault and tells me she is blocking my number. My last words to her: ” K bye 🙂 ”

Haven’t spoken to or seen her psycho self since, although it said she did view my profile on a dating site we were both on a little while later. I DID block her from that.

Oh, Kara…


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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