I’m a bartender, and these are the drinks that we secretly judge you for ordering

  • There are certain drinks bartenders like me will secretly judge you for ordering.
  • We’ll happily make you a mixed drink with top-shelf liquor, for example, but we’ll be rolling our eyes on the inside.
  • Here are 16 things you should think twice about before ordering at a bar.

Bars are filled with people trying to look cool.

Maybe you’re trying to impress your squad. Maybe you’re trying, and failing, to woo someone on a first date.

Or maybe you just want to appear cool in front of me, your bartender.

And why not? Bartenders are hip. We stand in front of people and do things most people probably can’t do.

So it’s no surprise that folks sometimes try to impress us — or at least not disappoint us — when it’s their big moment in front of us: ordering a drink.

No matter what kind of drink you order, we’ll happily make it with a smile. But that said, there are some types of drinks we’ll secretly judge you for requesting.

Here are 16 orders that bartenders are sure to secretly judge you for.

You order a filthy martini with a top-shelf spirit

With a few exceptions, such as when the cocktail is super spirit-forward, house cocktails are always made with the bottom shelf — or “well” — spirits. Because why waste a perfectly good top-shelf spirit?

If I gave you a blind tasting of two filthy martinis, one with Grey Goose and one with the well vodka, I highly doubt you’d be able to tell which was which. At least not in a meaningful way.

Some bartenders go so far as to judge any and all dirty-martini orders — especially when a blue-cheese-stuffed olive is requested.

Personally, I’m unbothered. That is, until, you besmirch a perfectly good top-shelf gin or vodka that can stand on its own.

Actually, requesting an uppermost echelon spirit in any mixed drink is kind of silly

Actually, requesting an uppermost echelon spirit in any mixed drink is kind of sillyGetty Images

The same principle applies with any mixed drink. Even if it’s a more refined cocktail, like an Old Fashioned.

I’ll do it. But it will hurt me inside to add even a dash of bitters and a bar spoon of sweetener to the $25 Nikka Coffey Whiskey Old Fashioned you just ordered.

We judge when large groups all order the same thing

We judge when large groups all order the same thingShutterstock

Don’t be square. Live a little. Just because you’re wearing matching bachelor or bachelorette tees doesn’t mean your drink orders have to correspond too.

You ask for your martini shaken

You ask for your martini shakenUnited Artists

Please. Unless it’s a Vesper, calm down, James Bond.

Hint: There’s a reason martinis are stirred. And it has nothing to do with how manly you are, and everything to do with the type of ingredients involved.

Our decision to stir instead of shake is pretty cemented, and it’s based on how the ingredients dilute, interact, and ultimately appear in the glass.

You order an LIT when you’re somewhere fancy

Assess your environment. Look around.

Say, for example, there aren’t peanut shells on the floor, the lighting is decent, and your bartender is wearing a tie, vest, or blouse: Don’t order a Long Island Iced Tea. Or a Blue Motorcycle, an Irish Trash Can, or a Slippery Nipple.

These are cocktails designed basically to get you as drunk as possible as quickly as possible. And they taste … unremarkable.

Let a bartender at a refined joint get you drunk in at least a memorably tasty way.

But by all means, when you find yourself at a dive, go ahead and revel in the blasphemy of combining multiple spirits in one glass.

And when you’re at a dive bar, you order something obnoxiously high end

Don’t ask the bartender what smoked salts the bar has available for a bespoke margarita when you’re at a dive bar.

On second thought, never ask us about our smoked salts (yes, people actually request this). It’s an inquiry that somehow manages to make you sound both silly and pretentious.

You order a rum and Diet Coke

You’re drinking cane-based booze. You might as well pile it on.

You order your drink in ‘fingers’

You order your drink in 'fingers'Getty Images

It’s a joke among our crowd that the under-21s order in “fingers” to try to seem more sophisticated — and less underage.

That’s when customers use the width of their fingers to indicate how much liquor they want.

Basically, if you order your drink like this, I will ask to see your ID. Seriously.

You order a complex drink whose substitutions make it a basic drink

You order a complex drink whose substitutions make it a basic drinkGetty Images

When people try to mask their more basic, but desired, drink choice with substitutions, it’s their insecurity that I judge, not their desire to have a vodka soda.

So please. Just ask for a vodka soda. Don’t ask for a gimlet, sub-gin-for-vodka, sub-lime-and-sweetener-for-soda.

You arbitrarily add egg white to your drink

You arbitrarily add egg white to your drinkGetty Images

Whiskey sour. Amaretto sour. Ramos gin fizz. These are the drinks it is appropriate to request egg white with, if it’s not already assumed.

A gin and tonic is not.

You ask me to make ‘whatever you want’

You ask me to make 'whatever you want'Reuters/Bernadett Szabo

Bartenders hate this. Don’t do it. Be decisive.

Or at least be decisive when I ask a follow-up question.

“Refreshing or spirit-forward?” “Up or on the rocks?” “Bitter or smoky?”

When people insist on sticking with the “whatever you want” script when pressed to answer questions to find a perfect drink, you’re hurting me when you should be helping me help you.

Also, here’s a trade secret from me to you: We have a favorite drink to make. It’s called a neat pour of anything.

You order a well-known brand, but dismiss my suggestions for a better, lesser-known one

You order a well-known brand, but dismiss my suggestions for a better, lesser-known oneCraig Barritt/Getty Images for Johnny Walker

Part of our job is to know what’s well marketed versus what’s good.

So I’ll always throw side-eye to someone who dismisses a suggested spirit that would have probably both saved them money and enhanced their drink.

You order ice in your wine

You order ice in your wineDavid Paul Morris/Getty Images

I say this as a person who does this occasionally. But only on $3-wine night. And with a healthy dose of shame.

You order ‘Tito’s with vodka’

You order 'Tito's with vodka'Colin Young-Wolff

It never fails to amuse me when this happens. And for some reason, this slip of the tongue only happens with Tito’s.

You request an obscure garnish

You request an obscure garnishGetty Images

Some people have weird neuroses about drink garnishes, while others treat the bartender like a Subway-sandwich artist at the garnish station.

I fondly recall when a guest asked for “a single blueberry” in his drink, which for some reason, we had on hand.

Another common eye-roll is asking for multiple Luxardo cherries. Fun fact: Those babies cost $0.33 a pop.

You request a menu drink, but ask to substitute vodka

You request a menu drink, but ask to substitute vodkaMatt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for Grey Goose

Don’t do this. Don’t make me explain the vast taste difference between scotch and vodka and why that substitution won’t fly.

Then again, it’s fine. You do you. Live your best life. Order whatever you want.

Just know, we are judging you.

 

 

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9 Things That Scream, “I’m Not a Good Person”

Recently there was an interesting discussion on Reddit about the horrible qualities that make you stay away from a person. Users shared their life experience and recognize the “narcissist” in their friends or relatives. And it looks like some of them are very fed up with the rude behavior of others.

We at phicklephilly decided to dig deeper into some of the threads and find the psychological explanation of a “bad” person.

1. Avoiding responsibilities

“Avoiding your responsibilities and sticking someone else with the bill” was called out as one of the bad qualities on Reddit. Fear of taking any kind of responsibility can cause a psychological disorder.

A person, for example, can have a panic attack whenever they unconsciously realize that there is an obligation. It may happen for different reasons:

1. Low tolerance to negative emotions

2. Lack of courage

3. Low self-esteem

4. Fear of making mistakes and fear of failure

2. Inability to accept criticism

© depositphotos.com

Ouch. No one wants to be criticized. It hurts, but sometimes people can’t even swallow the simple truths about themselves. But being open to new information means an ability to change for the better. “Taking any kind of criticism or conflicting opinion as a personal attack” is not cool, according to Reddit users.

And if we can take criticism, we can grow. But there is still the question of why some of people can be so closed-minded:

1. They don’t rationalize.

2. They don’t want to make excuses.

3. They don’t minimize the problem.

4. They don’t want to share the blame.

3. Making fun of other people’s appearances

© depositphotos.com

People often insult each other intentionally, and the emotional scars from this linger for quite a while. People have a need to feel unique from others, but humiliation is not the right way to go about this.

Mocking another person for his or her appearance or views can cause a huge problem for both parties. It is difficult to manage your anger when you hear someone making fun of you or bullying you. In any case it’s better to:

1. Make eye contact and pause instantly.

2. Walk away and don’t react.

3. Minimize your contact with the aggressor.

4. Inability to apologize

If I did it, it wasn’t that bad. And if you are hurt, you deserve it. Words like this can finish off a man. Instead of an apology, you get aggression. Public opinion confirms: “I hate when someone just gives a vague “sorry.”

The reason why they do this can vary:

1. They’re afraid of taking responsibilities.

2. They don’t want to feel a shame that can be really unbearable for them. So each time they will try to make the situation even worse, than ruin a perfect image about themselves.

5. Being disrespectful to people and their work

© depositphotos.com

Being disrespectful to other people and to their work doesn’t help anyone. You just watch with an open mouth and you can’t believe that a person is serious. People who often behave disrespectfully to others may have:

1. A form of self-protection against feelings of inadequacy, or

2. A different style of communication that easily triggers misunderstandings.

6. Being 2-faced

© depositphotos.com

You meet someone who might talk to you nicely and even invite you for coffee, but then you find out that they say you are a freak behind your back. Betrayal!

“Back-stabbing people appear to be nice and helpful to your face, but sing a completely different tune behind your back.” These people may not like the other person, but they don’t have anyone else at the moment or they are afraid of confrontation and aggression.

It is better to:

1. Confirm your suspicions and not be in a rush to blame.

2. Get distant from this person.

3. Avoid revenge.

4. Have a frank and tough discussion with this person.

7. Applying certain rules to specific people, but not to themselves

© depositphotos.com © depositphotos.com

Hypocrisy is not a result of having double standards, but pretending you have one standard when you don’t have any. Saying one thing and doing another is not that rare.

1. The best way to get a reputation for fairness is to be fair. But since this is easier said than done, we more often choose appearance over reality.

2. Self-deception. Benjamin Franklin confirmed that humans exert very little effort to get real evidence when making decisions. Moreover, humans tend to think highly of themselves, and overlook weakness and failures.

3. Self-ignorance. Psychological researchers found that humans are accurate in their perceptions of others, but generally inaccurate in their perceptions of themselves.

8. Never tipping, even when you can afford it

© depositphotos.com

One research study showed that the extroverted qualities that people from certain cultures have are directly related to how much they tip — the more extroverted, the larger the tip. We have several different motivations for tipping:

1. Encouraging better service on the next visit

2. Rewarding a server

3. Gaining social approval

9. Being envious, even for a small win

© depositphotos.com

People get envious sometimes when they see you succeed. This could even include your best friend. But anyone can get envious and it’s a different story when you spoil someone’s moment who shared a victory with you.

Darwin’s theory of evolution says that humans behave in this way to enhance their individual survival. It drives a person. There are different styles of dealing with this, for example:

1. Always keeping your good qualities in mind.

2. Staying focused on something different, rather than being self-focused.

How do you normally react when a person is rude? Do you know of any qualities that can make anyone a dreadful human being to be around? Please, share your comments with us below!

 

 

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What is a VSCO girl? Meaning behind latest trend taking over your Instagram

WEARING scrunchies, a seashell necklace and rocking a pair of Birkenstocks has taken over Instagram – and it has a name.

It’s called “VSCO girl” and popular among teens. Here’s what we know about the latest social media trend…

 

One of the most popular VSCO girls is YouTuber Emma ChamberlainCredit: @_EMMACHAMBERLAIN

What is a VSCO girl?

A VSCO girl is all about the accessories and very specific fashion taste.

They wear the iconic 90s scrunchies, brightly coloured backpacks, seashell necklaces and carry a hydroflask decorated with stickers.

A VSCO girl’s brand is to save the environment, so they are usually carrying a reusable straw.

They wear oversized tie-die shirts, denim or biker shorts and ribbed white socks.

For footwear, it can be anything from Vans to Crocs to Birenstocks.

VSCO girls wear little to no make up and keep their hair long and wavy – like they’ve just come back from the beach.

 This meme explains what a VSCO girl is

2
This meme explains what a VSCO girl isCredit: Instagram

What does VSCO stand for?

VSCO stands for Visual Supply Company.

It is an app that was created in California in 2011.

It allows users to capture photos and edit them with preset filters and tools.

The app lets pictures look like they were taken with a film camera.

What’s a typical VSCO girl?

The typical VSCO girl has a beachy, California style combined with a drop of 2000s or 90s nostalgia.

One of the most popular VSCO girls is YouTuber Emma Chamberlain.

The trend has been criticized for being exclusionary.

The VSCO girl’s love for expensive brands such as Urban Outfitters and Fjallraven Kanken backpack is one of the most criticized thing about the trend.

Also the typical VSCO girl is tall, white and thin – drawing more criticism.

 

 

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Amount of Young People Who Don’t Have a Romantic Partner up SIGNIFICANTLY Since 2004

Are your extensive right-swiping efforts fruitless? Do you spend hours at the smoothie bar at Whole Foods in an attempt to meet chicks, but end up going to the beer tap at the grocery store to drink away your loneliness? Well, chin up because a majority of young Americans can’t find love according to a new study.

According to a new study from the General Social Survey, 51 percent of Americans between the ages of 18 and 34 do not have a steady romantic partner. You have to ask, how many married couples have a steady romantic partner? This is interesting because that number is significantly higher than in 2004 when the figure was 33 percent, the lowest number since the GSS first asked the question in 1986. The number is up from the 2016 findings that 45 percent of young people were single.

The General Social Survey is a “biennial, nationally representative survey that has been conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago since 1972 to monitor societal change and study the growing complexity of American society.”

In other relationship surveys from the GSS, the amount of people saying that they had a divorce has been steady or declining since 2014. People who were very happy in their marriage were up in 2018, 65 percent compared to 60 percent in 2016. The question was asked, “Is it wrong to have sex before marriage?” The response was 17 percent in 2018, the lowest level since the question was first asked in 1972 when it was at 34 percent.

A Pew Research Center study found that about 18 million unmarried partners were living with their partner. The cohabitation unmarried couples was up 29 percent since 2007.

The polls don’t only focus on relationships, they also find the pulse in the U.S. on a variety of topics such as current affairs, social issues, economic well-being, civil liberties, crime, politics, work, and religion.

So if you haven’t found that special someone don’t get worried, most other people haven’t either.

 

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Brooke – Insanity Girl

One time I went on a tinder date with this girl, Brooke. She was smoking hot. We’re talking Instagram fame hot. I start talking to her, we exchange numbers, she sent me some topless pics on snapchat. I’m basically on top of the world.

She calls me a day before we meet up and asks me a lot of weird, way too personal questions. Right off the bat her personality seemed pretty weird but I figured she was just kind of quirky.

I take her out to dinner and this girl has horrible table manners. She tells me all about the guy she had been seeing recently, (like a week before I came to find out) and keeps asking me questions about my money, dick size, if I can do a backflip, all kinds of odd shit.

After we eat I take her to my house to watch a movie or something. There were so many red flags going off in my head about this girls personality, but she was so beautiful I didn’t listen to my conscience. (I never do. Beauty always wins.)

I take her to my house and we start watching movies. This girl gets up out of the seat and starts running around my house! Almost aimlessly. Just sprinting. Not saying anything at all. Just running from place to place, not making eye contact with me and not acknowledging anything I say. I was actually terrified at this point. I wasn’t afraid of getting hurt, I was more afraid because I thought I was watching someone who was just clinically insane. She was just totally disconnected… Anyway, so we got to fooling around a little bit after that and I called it quits.

I once had a cat that did that running around aimlessly thing, so it’s pretty normal. Just let them get it out their system, then they come back to the couch and you can pet them again.

She leaves later that night and I’m still processing what happened.

I keep texting her because I’m an idiot and she’s hot.

For some reason she starts getting angry when I don’t text her back within 5 minutes. Literally 5 minutes pass and she said “Fuck you.” Out of nowhere, for no reason. At this point is when my brain finally kicked in and I blocked her, deleted her number, blocked and deleted her on every other form of social media as well.

Other odd thing about her, she told me one day she ate a whole chicken in one sitting and drank the grease up.

No girl is attractive enough to outweigh insanity.

 

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Paperclipping is the Baffling New Dating Trend Set to Infuriate You

From ‘ghosting’ to ‘love bombing’ and ‘breadcrumbing’, finding romance in the modern age can be a confusing journey.

And the latest dating trend, called ‘paperclipping’, is set to baffle you further.

According to Metro, it’s not an adventurous sex move requiring high levels of flexibility, but the act of receiving a friendly message from an old flame – who ghosted you after a couple of dates – months down the line without any explanation.

The name is inspired by Clippy – the irritating Microsoft Office assistant who used to pop up with advice on Word, often when you least needed it.

Just like the animated paperclip on your computer screen, long-term daters will have encountered those people you see for a couple of weeks, then stop talking to you for no logical reason, and who resurface once more just as you’ve forgotten about them.

Their message will probably be a friendly ‘how are you?’ or ‘what are you up to this weekend?’ – providing no explanation for why they suddenly stopped messaging back in the first place or if they now want a relationship.

It can be tempting to message them back, and try to get to the bottom of their unexpected text.

However, to reply could condone their initial bad behavior and it’s unlikely to end well.

The Clippy-esque act has been enshrined on Instagram by talented Brooklyn-based illustrator Samantha Rothenberg (@violetclair) who reveals the trials and tribulations of being a single woman dating in 2019.

She recently posted an image of three paperclips, reminiscent of the passive aggressive Word tool.

One said in a speech bubble: “Sometimes I pop up for no reason at all. Like now.”

A second said: “See, the truth is, I’m damaged, flaky and not, and not particularly interested in you.”

 

 

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Why is everyone suddenly using the C-word?

A journalist from Canada recently shared a video on Twitter in which she asked people in Manchester their opinion of Tommy Robinson (real name Stephen Yaxley-Lennon). Two young people – one male, one female – replied immediately with the word “cunt”. The journalist was taken aback, and the video quickly racked up retweets and comments. So what’s going on here? Is the status of this notorious word changing?

Swearing is power language, a parallel vocabulary packed with emotion and social force. But its effects depend heavily on context: one person’s everyday expletive is another’s strict taboo. These differences also vary greatly across time and place. The strong religious swears in English in the Middle Ages are now mild in most places, though minced versions remain popular (jeepers, cripes, gosh).

Over time, taboos shifted from religion to sex and excretion: fuck, shit and company. Salient among them is cunt. “In the premier league of profanity,” Susie Dent tells us, “cunt has been dominating the table for over two centuries.” Yet it was not originally profane at all. It was once routine enough to appear in street names, surnames, even medical books. “In the 14th century cunt was standard English for the female pudendum,” writes Jane Mills in Womanwords. A century later it was still “the standard way to define vulva”, according to Melissa Mohr in Holy Shit: A Brief History of Swearing.

Attitudes then began to change, and cunt became taboo. Slang lexicographer Eric Partridge notes it was “avoided in written and polite English” – though Shakespeare snuck it in anyway. Later it became obscene by law. Partridge’s forerunner Francis Grose, in his 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, defined it – nastily – as “a nasty name for a nasty thing”. The OED prudishly omitted it from its first edition but caught up in 1972 and has fared better in recent years, adding the adjectives cunted, cunting, cuntish and cunty in March 2014. (The authoritative Green’s Dictionary of Slang catalogues a great variety of such terms.)

“By the early 20th century cunt has acquired a layer of hatred in its meaning,” Kate Warwick writes in an exploration of the word’s offensive power, describing how phonetics and connotation contribute to that effect. Germaine Greer’s influential Female Eunuch (1970) deemed it “the worst name anyone can be called”, and many would still agree. Surveys by broadcasting standards authorities in different English-speaking countries consistently place it at or near the top of their offensiveness charts.

But profanity is determined socially, which traditionally has meant locally, and in certain dialects cunt has little or no shock value. For some speakers of Australian English, Irish English and British (especially Scottish) English, it is an ordinary element of their speech. In Scotland it’s even becoming a pronoun. There are socioeconomic implications: “Even within England,” writes Ally Fogg, “it is used more commonly the further you get (both geographically and socio-politically) from the ruling class and the bourgeoisie.”

Its casual use can be hard to adjust to if your culture categories it as a serious, misogynistic slur. In dialects where cunt is less taboo, it’s often used of men, typically as an insult but also with affection. That doesn’t rid it of its gender-markedness, though (any more than “guys” has become gender neutral) simply because some people use it that way. As Lynne Murphy writes, “The shift from feminine to masculine in BrE is part of a more general tendency to use words for women (or our parts) as the ultimate way to put down a man. Which sums up the status of womanhood in our culture rather neatly.”

There are signs that cunt’s taboo is decreasing slightly in North America, or at least parts of it. Feminist efforts to reclaim it gained momentum through Eve Ensler’s Vagina Monologues, while Michael Adams has tracked its re-appropriation on American TV – though he concludes that the examples don’t yet constitute a trend.

The word’s occurrence in high-profile shows such as Game of Thrones may reduce its profane power, if only a little, but the greater influence of religious and social conservatism will preserve the taboo’s strength. In language use we take our cues from family, friends and peers far more than from pop culture. One swallow doesn’t make a summer, and even a couple of swears doesn’t break a taboo.

 

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