Penelope – I Should Have Known Better

The Encounter

I met Penelope in a group setting. It was at the apartment of one of my friends and we gathered together for our weekly game night. I was friends with both hosts, who were roommates at the time. She joined that night through Roommate A, which seemed normal enough since game night is open to all who want to participate. Game night ended with no incident. I think we took a group photo. She chose to sit in front of me and lean back against my legs, scooting around until she was in position. I thought nothing of it. I should have known better.

 

The Facebook Interaction

Back then, I had a tendency to add people on Facebook after meeting them in person for the first time. Over time, I would unfriend many of the ones who I never met again. Seems like extra work for no reason now, but felt practical at the time. My mistake. I added her and she messaged me almost immediately. As a single guy, I kept several women friends around at arms’ length to help satiate my own need for validation. You could almost consider it to be a male version of the girls who say they have so many guy friends. As you’re cringing after reading that, I’m shuddering right now after typing it. After a few messages with Penelope, we got to exchanging phone numbers. The twist is that she asked me for mine first. I thought it was refreshing because I usually ask first. I should have known better.

The Super Bowl

Like many people in the US, I watch the Super Bowl every year. That year was no exception. It was Super Bowl XLVI with Patriots vs. the Giants. Everyone outside of the New England area hates the Patriots. Guess which team I rooted for. Since I didn’t want to watch it alone at home, I joined a party at someone’s house. Lo and behold, Penelope is there. How? Why? She knows enough mutual people at the party itself, so maybe it works through that logic. I thought nothing of it and watched the game, as well as engaged in the party games during halftime. Penelope sat next to me through most of the night. Some people took notice and ribbed me a little, but whatever. This is all normal behavior, right? I should have known better.

 

The Movie

Chronicle (great movie by the way) had come out a few weeks before and I wanted to see it. I texted about 10 or so people to ask if they wanted to go. It might have been a group text. Like clockwork, one after another had something else or just didn’t want to see the film. Since I didn’t want to watch it alone (is this a pattern?), I did the unthinkable. I texted Penelope to ask if she wanted to see it. Her enthusiastic quick response actually made me feel better, because I thought she was into science fiction and everyone else said no up until then. We met at the local theater. A few minutes before the movie started, I looked up something in my phone. I don’t remember what exactly, but I do remember her leaning in very close and looking at the info too. At that point, I knew she was giving me flirty cues and I was just lonely enough to get an ego boost from all her attention. I should have known better.

 

The Coffee

After the movie ended, we went our separate ways. I felt kind of bad because it seemed like I used her just to be a presence so I didn’t have to watch a movie by myself. Maybe that’s exactly what it was. Maybe it would have been better if I left it at that. But my brain told me to justify her kind gesture with some coffee. I texted her again asking if she wanted to get coffee from the nearby Starbucks. Her immediate response again gave me that false ego boost. We met up and talked over coffee. She laughed a lot. I think I’m pretty good at keeping up conversation and causing a few chuckles, but she was really into it. She was too into it. We may have talked for 30 minutes to an hour, until we finally left. I think she said something about doing this again some time. I agreed. I should have known better.

 

The Words with Friends Confession

Since the Facebook friend request, Penelope and I had been playing each other on Words with Friends. I had a pretty good record, but she schooled me. This is what actually prompted me to want to get to know her more, because not many people I knew in real life could take me down as badly she did. During one of our regular matches, she used the messaging service to talk and flirt. At some point, she told me she was drunk. I think she was out with friends. Then, it happened. She said something like “I’m messaging the guy I like and want to date through a word games app. OMG I’m so embarrassed.” That was direct enough for me to understand that she confessed in her drunken stupor. I hadn’t received many confessions in the past, so this should have been flattering. But it wasn’t. It just felt off. We hadn’t spent enough time together to constitute a desire to date. I don’t remember my responses back to her, but they were definitely not reciprocal. I think I told her we should talk about it more after she becomes sober. She said okay and the conversation ended there, or so I thought. I should have known better.

 

The Crazy

Later that same night, I received apologetic text messages from Penelope. The contents were along the lines of her being sobered up now and blurted out something she didn’t mean. I was relieved because I actually believed her. I replied back thanking her for clarifying and to have a good night. But then, she asked “what if she did mean it?” Since any budding interest had fizzled away at that point, I told her that whether she did or not, I will need more time before making any hasty decisions. We had not spent enough time together yet and I didn’t want to rush into anything like I have in the past. She seemed unsatisfied. We said our goodbyes at around 10 pm. I thought that would be it until our next in person encounter. Nope. She called me at 11 pm. The call consisted of her repeated question and wanting to get a full answer on why I didn’t want to date. My fight-or-flight senses started flaring up. I tried my best to explain that I rushed into relationships in the past and learned from it, so I would appreciate if she could let a friendship start out first to see where that goes. However, I was done even being an acquaintance with her by then. She persisted but eventually hung up. I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning to find 2 voicemails. One was at 3 am. Another was at 5 am. I also had several text messages from Penelope. I don’t remember much of what she said in the voicemails, but they involved how she felt stupid for letting herself get vulnerable. I couldn’t tell if she was blaming herself or blaming me for rejecting her. There was a lot of scream-crying. The text messages tried to convince me to not listen to the voicemails, then to reassure me that whatever I heard was not who she really is. I deleted everything and moved on with my day. I should have known better.

 

The Follow-Up

Penelope was still friends with some people I knew, so she continued to be a presence for a bit. She sent a message to me that looked like it was meant for another guy, saying something like she can’t make it on a date with him that day. I knew enough to recognize this cheap tactic of trying to instill jealousy. It didn’t work. I unfriended her that day. She kept showing up to larger mutual friend group settings, like barbecues and events. She eventually started dating one of the guys, who was becoming a friend of mine. He fell off the deep end with her. I think she fed him some set of lies that got him riled up. He randomly called me to ask a slew of questions about what my relationship with Penelope was. I told him as concisely as I could that I had no relationship and the most we did was watch one movie together. I kept away from any connection to her until she gradually went away, with the poor guy. I saw at some point that they got married. Years later, turns out they divorced. I should have known better.

 

The Questions

Well, that was my convoluted brain dump of a story. If anyone is interested in more info, feel free to ask questions. I hope this helps anyone else out there in a similar situation. If you sense something is just off, listen to those gut instincts.

I should have known better.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Phicklephilly – Special Report – The New Fuckboys

This blog post  is dedicated to my friend Amelia.
One of the best people I know in the world.

fuck·boy

Dictionary result for fuckboy

/ˈfəkˌboi/

noun

VULGAR SLANGDEROGATORY
plural noun: fuckboys
  1. a weak or contemptible man.
    • a man who has many casual sexual partners.

     

I googled this horrible title for young men today and this is what the internet yielded.

 

But there is a new mutated version of these horrible little rodents.

 

My lovely neighbor, Trish, and my co-worker Jane, and my beloved former co-worker Amelia have all recently fallen victim to this new virus of boys.

Back in the day, when I was in my teens and twenties, we used to actually have to go out and be social with other people to meet women. There was competition and several other factors going on. You had to develop certain skills. Some guys never got it, but some of us, and hopefully most of us tried to develop a little charming game to woo a girl. It’s called courtship. You meet a girl you like and you get to know her. You exchange phone numbers and if you’re lucky, and you call her.

Hopefully her dad doesn’t answer the phone when you call because that’s a wall with a poisonous moat around it.

But if you could get the guts, and the luck to get through, maybe you could take her on a date. This wasn’t the fifties. This was the seventies and the eighties.

You needed to build your character and charm and personality to try to meet a girl in the real world in real-time.

It was nerve-wracking but the rewards could be an enormous bounty of love, romance, fun and maybe even sex. (Holy shit!)

 

Let’s jump to today. 2019. The world of dating has completely changed.

But people haven’t changed all that much.

That’s the catch in this new technological world.

If a guy is reasonably good-looking and has a decent profile he merely has to swipe right on hundreds of eligible women on Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, and the list goes on.

This fucker doesn’t even have to leave his couch to connect with women.

And same goes for girls!

 

But here’s the catch. They never develop the social skills and the thrust and parry of the actual dating experience. (I write a dating and relationship blog, I’ve been in 3 bands and have over a half a century experience. So listen to me people. I’ve seen it and one it all. i go to my sister Janice’s Christmas party every year an i look around the room an know I’ve had sex with more people than everyone else in the room…COMBINED.)

 

I have begun to see these young guys. Nice enough. Good looking. Probably decent families. Careers.

Seems like a nice catch.

Everyone is swiping like mad now. No one is going out into the world to meet real people anymore. No one wants to talk to a person to even order food anymore. This younger generation doesn’t mind paying more.

They just want what they want now.

I come from a generation that is far more patient.

Because when I was young you had to wait for EVERYTHING.

You wrote letters. You sent away for thing and they arrived 6 to 8 weeks later. There are more examples but I can’t think of them right now because I’m on  bit of a rant.

This generation has their faces in their phones and lack any spatial awareness and want everything, easy and NOW.

Technology has made them and provided a platform for all of that.

But we gave them that. We made them.

 

Three years ago when I stared this blog I had all of the dating apps. I have deleted them all. It’s all full of losers and leftovers for someone my age.

It’s pathetic to read all of the clever nonsense people my age write on their profiles. “Love the beach, camping, mom of two great grown kids, love travel, friends, brunch, camping, adventure, ready for the next chapter of my life.

Fuck you.

I know what living is, and it’s not that shit. 

Those sites are just littered with the sad detritus of people from broken marriages that have been cast asunder by their life partners and soul mates. Divorce. Child support. Alimony. The list goes on.

It’s sad.

I want nothing to do with that collective of losers.

These people are just trying to replicate what they think is love. You’re not 28 anymore darling. It’s over. You can desire all the fun camping and travel you want, but in reality you’re simply lost and running from your past and hoping to recreate what your parents taught you what was love, happiness and marriage.

All bullshit.

Am I bitter about my own losses? Fuck no. I forgave everyone ten years ago. Why should I drink the poison hoping all of those fuckers die? I can’t be bothered with that weight.

I know I’ve been hot on this subject but Phicklephilly is a dating and relationship blog and I need to get back to what it really is. The reality of life. Not a bunch of links to some one elses dating column so I can get traffic. That shit ends here.

Once the dating and relationship shit runs its course I’m not doing it anymore on Phicklephilly!

 

Now that the storm in my mind has passed I need to tak about this new breed of fuckboys.

Guys… come on. Have you learned nothing from us?

Or have you just gotten better at being pieces of shit to women?

I hate you all.

 

I wasn’t the best representative of a man when I was a teenager but we need to do better.

 

I’m so pissed off I can’t even write this garbage about these pieces of shit

 

Here is the new trend:

 

https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/mosting-is-the-latest-maddening-dating-trend

 

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/this-new-dating-trend-is-even-worse-than-ghosting_n_5aabfcf6e4b05b2217fe8495

 

This happened to 3 young girls I know.

 

This is the new dating trend.

  1. Go on Tinder or Bumble and swipe on a bunch of girls.
  2. Connect and engage with them
  3. go on an affordable date with them
  4. spend hours talking to them and build an honest heartfelt connection
  5. Girl thinks she has finally met the ONE
  6. Be that good at it. (You are simply practicing and learning about yourself and using these innocent should to figure out who you eventually want, but she doesn’t know that. You have absolutely no interest in building a relationship with her, She is literally a crash test dummy to you.)
  7. go on may one more date with her… maybe
  8. Fuck her
  9. Time passes…
  10. fade away…. (You’ve gathered your intel from another victim on your journey of self discovery
  11. Afer some sudden absence, text her and tell her you need to figure some things out, you can’t do anything right now, work is crazy. Basically lie to her now that you’ve gathered the two days of experience and penetrated her.
  12. GONE

 

This is some despicable behavior. Like I said. This has happened in the last month to not one but three girls I know. So this is not an anomaly

This is a trend among young men.

Why.

Because they can.

 

Think about it. No one needs charm or a sense of humor or talent anymore. If you look decent and don’t seem threatening, you put up a profile on tinder and off you go

You don’t build a personality and confidence and approach a woman in public and get to know her. Your little greasy thumb swipes right and you get to meet a pretty girl.

 

But you’re blowing it and so are they. You meet, you engage so quickly (Just the way this generation like everything. Quick and easy) and within two or three dates you’re having sex.

But at what cost?

Fuck technology and immediate gratification! Your Heart is at stake here!

 

The technology is new and fast and easy, but hearts are slow and beautiful and they continue to break just like they have for hundreds of years from bad behavior and shitty people.

 

So in closing, I’ve been inspired at 2:05 in the morning because some douchebag hurt my friend Amelia with his awful behavior.

As bad as I’ve ever been in my legacy I never did that to a girl. I don’t know where this generation is going, but I will advise the women in my life to protect their hearts and take the time to protect their bodies, minds and their virtue from these charming pirates disguised as future husbands.

 

Text me for advice before you leap ladies, please! I have three sisters and a daughter. I’m here to help!

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Kimiko – Chapter 2 – Finally Connected

Kimiko had given me her number very quickly in our first conversation, so that was good. But this one takes a little time to get off the ground. After our brief connection, I text her just to make contact off the site

 

Monday Night
Me: Hey there. It’s Charles.

K: Hi Charles, Nice to meet you here.

Me: Me too. When would you be available to come to the city?

K: I am off this Saturday, does it work for you?

Me: I should be available after 5.

K: Ok.

Me: Sounds good! I’ll pick a spot we can meet. Do you have any dietary concerns? Or any passions about food?

K: No. All good.

Me: Cool. Do you have a food preference? Something you really like?

 

Tuesday Morning

K: Hi. Good Morning. Charles, sorry for the late reply. I went to bed right after I texted you. To me, I like all kind of food except Mexican, I mean I could have it but not a big fan.

Me: Ok. No worries! Hope you got some rest. I’ll find a place we can meet.

K: Sure thank you. Have a nice day.

Me: You too!

 

Wednesday

Cherie texted me that she was coming down Sunday night, so being the little weasel I’ve become, I had to reach out to Kimiko and see if I could take her out on Sunday.

Me: What about Sunday? Can you do after 4pm?

K: This Sunday I’m not sure.

Me: Why not?

K: I have my boys coming home.

Me: Ok. What about during the week? I work a lot.

K: Understand, so if this Saturday is not good for you, we can find another day next week.

Me: Sounds good. I really want to meet you.

K: Ok. We can plan for next week.

Me: Yes. Maybe we can chat on the phone before that. What type of work do you do?

K: I work in retail and also taking a financial and insurance course now. I work a lot too.

Me: Oh, very good. I want to meet you. We’ll figure it out. Work is good. We could chat on the phone at some point if you like.

K: Maybe tonight?

Me: Ok. I’ll call you after 9.

K: Ok.

I have been working so much lately I completely forget to call her. I don’t want her to think I’m a flake. 

Thursday

Me: Sorry about last night I was chatting with my daughter and forgot. Hope you’re having a good day.

K: No problem.

Me: Can I see you this Saturday or Sunday?

K: Hi! May I know who is it… My phone was broken and just got a new phone… Haven’t updated all the contacts yet.

Me: (Sends pic) Charles from Bumble. We matched.

K: Oh hi! How are you? Sorry about that. I broke my phone! Sunday should be fine.

Me: Awesome! Can I meet you in the city after 4?

K: Where do you live? Sunday is usually very hard to find a parking spot in the city.

Me: I’m in Rittenhouse. You could come over on the Patco train.

K: Is that where you live?

Me. Yes. Rittenhouse.

K: I’ll try. I like to drive because sometimes I feel more comfortable when I go home at night by myself. Maybe I could find parking somewhere.

Me: I’ll pay for your parking. Sound good?

K: It’s alright. I think the most important thing is where to find a parking spot.

Me: Ok. Looking forward to meeting you.

K: Sure.

Doesn’t sound promising.

 

Saturday

Me: Still good for tomorrow after 4?

K: Yes.

Me: Great!

Later that night…

Me: Yay I’m going to meet you tomorrow! 5pm Devil’s Alley (I send her location)

K: Ok

Me: Looking forward to meeting you Kimiko. (smiley face)

K: (smiley face) Likewise.

 

So hopefully it’s on.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Online Dating Safety For Men

https://va.topbuzz.com/s/bFNRR

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly

Phicklephilly – Hang On Saint Christopher

“This has been the best therapy that I never had to pay for.”

I’ve been writing phicklephilly for over two and a half years now and there’s no end in sight. The phicklephilly book is finished and so is the Sun Stories book for Amazon. Now I’m working on the TV series. Why not? Sex in the City from a gentleman’s perspective.

Once I got through writing about all of the crazy dates I’ve been on since returning to Philadelphia from New York, and my relationships, I turned inward. I’ve been in a relationship with this lovely girl who I adore, but you can’t write a dating blog if you’re in a committed relationship. It just won’t work. So I started to write about my life and my past in general. I didn’t want the blog to lose its voice, and I certainly didn’t see this relationship coming. It’s been wonderful, and I love Cherie very much. She has an amazing, loving, calming effect on me. She’s a sweet, down to Earth girl who is also smart, and a sexual animal in the bedroom. What man wouldn’t want that?

She’s also not around all of the time, so there isn’t that “I have to put my time in, or I have to go do a bunch of things that I don’t want to do.” She is literally the greatest hits album in a relationship.

When I walk down the street with her I actually get a feeling that I’d love to have her as my wife. Because she’d be amazing at that. I can’t describe why, because I’ve had zero success with committed relationships and marriage but I feel it with her. First time in 30 years. Cherie would be a good wife. I swear it feels like that when I’m walking out in public. “Yea, this is my wife Cherie.”

I felt this like a week ago before she went to Japan. She’s just so chill and sweet and knows me.  When we’re together, it’s just like a great song. Whether it’s just doing nothing, watching a movie, mad sex, or eating together. It’s just so easy.

Isn’t that what life should be? I don’t know, because it’s never worked for me. But I’m older now. Maybe I’ve finally pulled my mind together. We’ve both been through all of our shit and we could actually settle down and be together and it could be a peaceful happy relationship. I have no idea what that looks like but this could be it.

But don’t worry. I’m not doing anything rash. That has always resulted in disaster. Every relationship I’ve ever been in has burned to the ground. Stay friends or whatever, it’s over.

I need my alone time. That’s paramount. But I have that with her. But if we got married, we’d have to obviously have to consider cohabitation. She has a wild little son. I don’t want that. I could handle him and help him, but I’m over kids. I’ve already raised Lorelei and she’s mint. I can’t go again.

When we’re together its golden but she’s extremely busy getting her education and working and I’m holding it together at the salon and building a business. I can’t risk that.

I’m finally out of the rat race and I’ve never been so happy. I’m working my butt off but for me now. My real talent is finally being realized. This is a moment at the precipice of greatness.

I’m just going to have to be the best person I can be to her because she loves me so much, and I love her and want to keep her. There are just a lot of moving parts to this life right now.

I’m not worried. I just need to be attentive to her and she has really been great with making time to see me. Our time lately has been wonderful. I’m very pleased at how things are going right now.

But why did I have the affair with Ambria if everything is so good now? I don’t know. I’ve always been loyal to all of my girls. I’m just a romantic gentleman. I know what’s right and what’s wrong. My father taught me that. But he was a cheater but admired that I wasn’t like him.

He made me but I’m not him.

But what if I am and I just haven’t had the opportunities that he’s had? What if I really am him?

 

I’m so busy now I don’t have much of a social life but when I do its compressed and intense because of what’s happening with the business. I’m no longer posting to or looking at stuff on social media because I don’t want people knowing what I’m doing and I no longer care about everyone’s life on Facebook, filled with food, babies, and events and vacations.

I just live my life now.

I’m happier than I’ve ever been and I don’t care what anyone else is doing and no longer care to let anyone in the world know what I’m up to.

With good reason.

I love Cherie. At my age I’m blessed to have her. A hot, beautiful 27-year-old babe that loves sex and lives to please me. Then why am I doing what I’m doing? Ambria? That’s just season 4 on Phicklephilly someday on Netflix.

Sometimes I think that writing this blog has finally released everything in me and I’ve found the perfect forum to do it. But what if phicklephilly is actually driving me to offend? What if because I have this forum now, I’m doing things and pushing the envelope to create better content?

Art imitating life, imitating art?

I think that’s what’s happening. I need content. I want to tell my stories and I love writing about my childhood. It feels wonderful to finally release all of my experiences and feelings onto the page. I love all of my followers and they have been amazing and supportive. This has been the best therapy that I never had to pay for.

I can get it all out and finally dump the freight car of baggage and stories I’ve been carrying around in my head for decades.

Can you even comprehend what that feeling is like? Once I write it and post it, I’m clear. I’ve worked it out and told the story. I publish and it’s out of me. It’s been a nightmare holding all of this in.

Now it’s all out there. Everything will eventually be out there to free myself of this burden in my hand.

When I started this blog I wrote about waitresses, crazy girls, and shitty dates I attempted to go on. Then I started to write about my relationships. That’s when the blog started to sing for me. But it was hard. Because those love affairs were over. So I had to romanticized dead relationships and dredge up all of those memories. Good and bad.

Then the rebounds and even more crazy.

Then I meet a great girl. Seems impossible I can go again with a girl this young but it works. But then when we’re in a rough patch of distance I willfully have an affair.

Something must have been missing, or do I just suddenly have the power and the availability?

This is all new ground for me and I don’t know why I even did it. I’m a decent, loyal man and I love my girlfriend very much. I don’t want to lose her and I don’t think I will. If you’ve been reading this blog you’ll know that we’re rock solid as ever and our relationship is glorious.

She’s over on the other side of the world with her family. I hope they’re all laughing and eating and happy together.

I’m not sorry for Ambria, but it happened.

I’ve worked 20 days in row at the salon non-stop to hold it together because it’s what’s needed. We’ve burned through 4 employees in a month and we have to get this gym open by Labor Day. I’ve got money tied up in this business. It needs to be successful and I won’t rest until it is.

I fit my friends in when I can and I’m making it work, but the grind is getting to me. But I’ll see it through for the business. The results could make us all wealthy.

My life is beautiful. Everything is moving forward. I’ve never been happier. I should have learned my lesson. I want things to work between me and lovely Cherie, who seems to be the perfect girl for me.

Everything’s great right?

Why do I keep saying how much I love Cherie and how happy I am over and over?

Am I trying to convince all of you?

Or Me?

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Male Model’s Tinder Experiment Reveals The Look That Makes Women Swipe Right

https://va.topbuzz.com/s/fYdRR

 

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Most Single Millennials Have Made a Conscious Choice to Be Single, a New Tinder Survey Find

Daughter Lorelei   (pictured above)

 

http://va.topbuzz.com/s/xshSQcp

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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