Is It Safe To Get Pregnant During The Coronavirus Outbreak?

The coronavirus has changed almost everything about people’s daily routines. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s social distancing guidelines recommend that people avoid public gatherings, stay indoors as much as possible, and limit their social interactions. If you’re quarantining with your significant other, you have a lot of time to watch movies together, eat frozen dinners, and hook up (not necessarily in that order). In fact, with all this time on your hands, you may be having more sex than usual. But as to whether it’s safe to get pregnant during the coronavirus outbreak, that information is still unclear.

COVID-19 (the disease caused by the novel coronavirus) is still new, so much is unknown about its effects on people. “All that we know right now is extremely limited data,” explains Dr. Lauren Streicher, MD, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University.

A March 16 study of four babies in China found that COVID-19 was not transmitted from mother to baby at the time of birth. The CDC says the virus has not been detected in samples of breast milk or amniotic fluid. The CDC also reports “a small number of reported problems with pregnancy or delivery in babies born to mothers who tested positive for COVID-19 during their pregnancy,” like pre-term birth. However, it is yet unknown whether the virus itself is to blame for this, or whether these issues might have been due to unrelated pregnancy complications.

However, as Streicher points out, “there’s a very big difference between a term baby versus a baby in development.” The CDC website states it currently does not know if a pregnant woman with COVID-19 can pass the coronavirus to her fetus or baby during pregnancy or delivery. “Certainly we know there are infectious issues that can cause problems with growth and development of the baby,” Streicher points out. Certain bacterial infections, viruses, and untreated STDs like chlamydia and gonorrhea have been linked to birth defects and pregnancy loss.

Adene Sanchez/E+/Getty Images

Tristan Bickman, MD, OB/GYN and author of Whoa, Baby!, tells Elite Daily that “as far as we know, it is safe to get pregnant during the coronavirus outbreak.” However, Streicher urges caution if you’re planning to conceive. “I would put it off until we have a little bit more data,” she says. “But that’s not based on anything. We don’t know.”

It’s worth noting that pregnancy involves regular doctors appointments, which means you’ll have to take more trips outside and be surrounded by more people. If you are immunocompromised or quarantining with someone who is at high risk for severe illness from the coronavirus, this might not be something you want to do.

If you’re currently pregnant, the CDC recommends doing the same things as the general public to protect yourself: avoid people who are sick, wash your hands often with soap and water, and cover your cough with your elbow. “Isolate yourself and do everything you can to not be exposed,” Streicher says. You can always call your doctor if you’d like individual advice. An OB/GYN can answer questions about whether it will be safe to deliver the baby at a hospital, or whether home birth might be right for you.

If you are pregnant and want to get an abortion, you may have to do a bit of extra work to find care. According to Planned Parenthood’s website, the organization continues to monitor the spread of COVID-19, but it does not clearly specify whether all clinics will remain open throughout this crisis. The National Abortion Federation recommends calling the clinics in your area to confirm their operating hours when you make an appointment.

blackCAT/E+/Getty Images

As far as your sex life goes, you don’t have to put all physical contact on hold. If you’re self-isolating with a monogamous partner, you can be intimate as long as neither of you has been around any potentially contaminated situations in the last 14 days. “As best we know, the COVID virus does not seem to be transmitted in semen,” Streicher notes. But it can be transmitted through an infected person’s respiratory droplets and the mucous membranes in the face, so kissing someone who might have been exposed to the coronavirus might not be the best idea. “I’m not going to tell someone not to have sex if it’s someone they’re intimate with on a daily basis anyway,” Streicher says. “Is this the time to go out and have sex with strangers? Probably not.”

Bickman encourages her patients to exercise caution when having sex. “Make sure to remain as safe as possible and use protection,” she urges. Use your regular method of birth control, and don’t have any sexual contact with someone you aren’t already quarantining with. As the months progress, more data will likely emerge about the specific effects of COVID-19 on pregnancy. Until then, it’s up to your individual discretion as far as how to proceed. “For me, I would say, put [pregnancy] on hold for a month or two,” Streicher says. “If you’re already pregnant, you just have to wait for information to come in.” Do your best to stay safe, isolated, and healthy while scientists continue to learn more about the virus’ effects.

If you think you’re showing symptoms of coronavirus, which include fever, shortness of breath, and cough, call your doctor before going to get tested. If you’re anxious about the virus’s spread in your community, visit the CDC for up-to-date information and resources, or seek out mental health support. 

 

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What is ‘Morning Wood,’ and Why Does it Happen?

Nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT) is not a result of sexual arousal or having a dream relating to sex. Instead, it is a normal function of the male reproductive system.

In fact, regular episodes of NPT are a sign that the nerves and blood supply to the penis are healthy.

If a male does not have NPT regularly, it can indicate a health issue, such as erectile dysfunction (ED), which involves having trouble getting or keeping an erection. Not having regular NPT can also suggest other problems with the nerves or the blood supply to the male reproductive organs.

A hormonal imbalance, such as a decrease in testosterone, can also affect how often a person experiences NPT. A lack of regular NPT can sometimes result from not getting quality sleep.

As a person gets older, they can expect to experience NPT less often. This change should happen gradually, as hormone levels shift. Anyone who notices a sudden drop in the number of their NPT episodes should speak with a doctor to rule out any potential health issues.

Causes

“Morning wood” is a common occurrence for most men.

NPT is not a typical erection because it is not related to sexual thoughts, dreams, or stimulation. It is simply a result of sleep cycles, combined with healthy nerves and blood flow in the body.

NPT tends to happen when a person is in a rapid eye movement (REM) phase of sleep. REM sleep can occur several times during an 8-hour sleep cycle. The erection may go away on its own as a person enters deeper sleep. Thus, a person may have erections several times during the night but may not be aware of them.

Often, a person wakes up at the end of a REM sleep cycle, which explains why NPT seems to happen in the morning. In addition, testosterone levels tend to be elevated in the morning. Males have high levels of this hormone, which contributes to sexual function.

An erection caused by NPT may be physically different from one caused by arousal. One study found that some men experienced pain when they had NPT, but not when they had typical erections.

How often should morning wood occur?

Males of various ages, from children to older adults, experience NPT. Usually, younger adults, who have the highest levels of testosterone, will experience nocturnal erections more frequently than children or older people. Young adult males may have NPT every morning and a few times during the night.

The peak of sexual maturity generally happens when males are in their late teens to late 30s, and this may correspond with higher testosterone levels. It is normal for people in this age range to experience frequent episodes of NPT.

As a person approaches their 40s and 50s, they may notice fewer episodes of NPT. This often occurs because testosterone levels are naturally declining. However, the episodes should decline gradually, not suddenly. A gradual decline in NPT with age is customary.

A hormonal imbalance, especially one that affects the penis and testes, can result in few or no episodes of NPT. This is one reason why having regular erections in the morning is an important indicator of healthy male sexual organs.

One study found that men with hypogonadism, which prevents the sexual organs from fully functioning, experienced an increase in NPT after they had received testosterone therapy.

Some research says that a person’s quality of sleep can affect the frequency of NPT. If a person is not getting good sleep and entering the REM cycle, they may not experience nocturnal erections.

A study of 61 men with obstructive sleep apnea and ED found that getting better quality sleep resulted in more frequent NPT. The participants who used continuous positive airway pressure devices had more frequent nocturnal erections than those who did not.

Other studies have used NPT as an indicator of hormonal or sexual health, especially when treating ED.

For instance, if a person has NPT but cannot get or maintain an erection during sexual activity, doctors can rule out issues such as insufficient blood flow or nerve responses in the penis. If this is the case, ED may be a psychological issue, and a health professional can treat it accordingly.

However, if a person has no nocturnal erections and has trouble getting or keeping erections related to sex, doctors may determine that there is a physical cause of ED.

When to see a doctor

A person should speak to a doctor if they notice changes in how frequently NPT occurs.

Because NPT is an indicator of quality sleep and the health of sexual organs, it is helpful to pay attention to how often NPT happens.

If NPT suddenly stops or is happening much less frequently, speak with a doctor. They may wish to discuss possible health conditions, such as sleep disorders, hormonal imbalances, anxiety, and ED.

It is important to see a doctor about a lack of NPT, as it can be a symptom of ED. This condition can indicate serious health issues, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, or diabetes, especially in younger males. A health professional can help treat these conditions, including ED.

Certain medications, such as antidepressants, can make it more difficult for a person to get or maintain an erection. They may also cause a decrease or sudden stop in NPT. Some of these medications include:

  • high blood pressure medications
  • muscle relaxers
  • hormonal medications
  • seizure medications
  • antidepressants
  • histamine H2 agonists (which can help treat some types of ulcers)
  • chemotherapy drugs
  • medications to treat heart arrhythmias
  • diuretics

If a person has recently started a new medication and notices changes in the frequency of NPT, they may wish to speak with their doctor. Sometimes, the doctor can prescribe a different medication to help address this side effect.

See a doctor if NPT or erections in general are painful.

Seek emergency medical help for an erection that does not go away after 4 hours. If this occurs, it can cause tissue damage in the penis and problems with sexual function.

Summary

Morning wood is a healthy function of the male body.

A person should talk with their doctor if they notice a sudden change in the frequency of nighttime erections. This can ensure that a person receives prompt treatment for any underlying health conditions.

 

Tales of Rock: ‘DESTROYED BY DRUGS’: Elton John says Michael Jackson was a ‘walking drug addict’

Elton John believes drug addiction made Michael Jackson’s later years hell.

In his new memoir Me: Elton John, the I’m Still Standing singer opens up about his relationship with the late King of Pop, who he had known “since he was 13 (or) 14 years old”, admitting he became concerned for him in adulthood due to his bizarre behaviour.

Speaking with Entertainment Tonight at a special orchestral screening of the musical biopic Rocketman with the Hollywood Symphony Orchestra at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles on Thursday, Elton claimed the star became a “walking drug addict” in his later years before his death, aged just 50, from an overdose of sedatives in 2009.

“What happened to him was such a tragedy, with the drugs and I don’t think he had a particularly happy life leading up to his big success,” the Tiny Dancer star, 72, said. “I think success is hard to deal with and I think Michael found it hard and became isolated.

“It was awkward to be around him. It was tragic to be around him,” he continues. “This was someone who was one of the most talented people to come on Earth, and it was so sad to see him destroyed by the drugs … He was a walking drug addict and was on everything possible.”

Elton, who has his own well-documented history with drug addiction, added it’s “upsetting when you see someone that you care about (suffering) and you can’t do anything about it.”

The rocker’s memoir, Me, is out now.

 

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Tales of Rock – The 6 Most (Certifiably) Insane Tales of Rock Star Behavior

We expect our rock stars to be a little crazy. Sex, drugs and trashed hotel rooms are all part of the rocking package.

But even in the crazy-ass world these artists live in, sometimes there’s an incident that makes everybody stop and say, “Dude.”

For instance…

Prince Assaults Sinead O’Connor … For Cursing

 

In the early 90s, Sinead O’Connor scored a massive hit with her cover of the Prince-penned “Nothing Compares To You.” Sorry, that should probably read “Nothing Compares 2 U.” We are talking about Prince after all. At any rate, according to O’Connor, His Purpleness was less than thrilled with her decision to cover the song since he was already planning to give it to a female protege of his, perhaps in exchange for a series of unthinkable sex acts.

When he met with Sinead to discuss the situation, things got a bit out of hand. And by “out of hand” we mean “they got in a goddamned fistfight.”

It started with Prince berating the shorn-locked singer for, of all things, cursing in interviews. She replied with a diplomatic and sympathetic “go fuck yourself.” At that point, O’Connor claims Prince became physically threatening, or at least to the extent Prince can physically threaten anyone.

At that point the two went at it, in what was probably the most effeminate fistfight of all time. Prince used his fists, O’Connor used loogies. “All I could do was spit. I spat on him quite a bit,” she said. Classy! Not that beating women is any classier, but seriously, how would you feel if you were robbed of the chance to pass one of your most enduring tunes onto one of your talented proteges? Imagine the possibilities!

Oh, shit!

Ozzy Osbourne Impresses Record Execs… By Biting the Head Off a Dove

 

That Ozzy Osbourne once bit the head off a bat is old news. To the credit of his sanity, he apparently didn’t know it was a real bat. Plus, he was in Des Moines, Iowa at the time. When you’re spending an evening in a place like Iowa, you find your fun however you can.

A slightly less famous incident happened at CBS Records’ Los Angeles office shortly after Ozzy left Black Sabbath to embark on a solo career. Sensing that CBS was not overly interested in her husband or his music, Sharon Osbourne decided it would be a good idea for Ozzy to show up at a meeting with CBS executives with a couple of live doves in pockets. The idea was that he would release them into the air when he walked in. And who wouldn’t be impressed by having a couple of albino birds hurled into the air at their place of employment?

But Ozzy, ever the showman, decided that instead of releasing the doves, he would take one out of his pocket and delightfully bite its head off as CBS employees looked on in horror. According to an eyewitness, the reaction was an understandably stunned silence followed by Ozzy being hastily removed from the room, presumably while little spurts of blood shot from the bird’s ragged neck stump.

This is the kind of story that, over the years, becomes so shrouded in legend that people start to question whether it is even true, us included. But, admittedly, this picture of Ozzy Osbourne biting off the head of a dove while shocked record execs look on is pretty damning evidence.

Carlos Santana Gives All Glory to… Metatron?

 

It’s not unusual these days for an artist to score a huge album and, in later interviews, give all the credit for their success to God. Ok, it’s not unusual for rappers and R&B singers at least. But in a 1999 interview with Rolling Stone, Carlos Santana awesomely took things a step further.

Those skeptics among us would be tempted to credit the success of the album largely to the fact that it consisted mostly of Carlos playing guitar on songs that, otherwise, didn’t resemble Santana songs in the least. But when asked about the inspiration for his comeback album Supernatural (of course) Carlos credited a mystical spirit named Metatron.

In Carlos’ own words:

“I know it sounds New Age… but in my meditation, this entity – which is called Metatron – he said, ‘we want to hook you back to the radio airwave frequency. We want you to reach junior high schools, high schools and universities. Once you reach them – because we are going to connect you with the best artists of the day, then we want you to present them a new menu. Let them know that they are themselves, multidimensional spirits with enormous possibilities and opportunities. We want you to present them with a new form of existence that transcends religion, politics or the modus operandi of education today'”

Alrighty then!

He also went on to say, “Metatron is the architect of physical life. Because of him, we can French-kiss, we can hug, we can get a hot dog, wiggle our toe.” Well, we do certainly dig hot dogs. And we like a god who may possibly be a Transformer. Then again … Metatron claimed the album would feature “the best artists of the day.” This would be an album that featured both Rob Thomas and Everlast.

We’d have to say we’re non-believers, Santana.

Serge Gainsbourg Sings About Incest… With His Daughter

 

Legendary (to French people) pop singer Serge Gainsbourg was never any stranger to odd behavio(u)r. But the line between strange and crazy is a fine one. Take, for example, the time he appeared with Whitney Houston on what amounted to the European version of The View and said, and we quote, “I want to fuck you.” Strange? Sure. Crazy? No, it was 1985, who didn’t want to nail Whitney Houston in 1985?

No, the Whitney incident was downright boring compared to Gainsbourg’s single “Lemon Incest.” There is nothing inherently strange about singing about incest, we suppose. Aerosmith had a huge hit that was about incest (“Janie’s Got A Gun”). But it’s not like anyone thought any differently about Steven Tyler because of the song.

OK, bad example

But to sing about incest with Joe Perry on lead guitar is one thing. To sing about it with your daughter on co-lead vocals, that’s some whole other shit altogether.

And that’s exactly what Gainsbourg did on “Lemon Incest,” a duet with his quite young daughter Charlotte. It’s at this point that our European readers will scold us for being “dumb Americans” who “misunderstood” the song. And hey, that may be. Or maybe Europeans just have hotter kids than we do. Whatever the case, it’s hard to read these lyrics without getting a bit of the heebie jeebies:

The love that we will never together,

Is the most beautiful, the most violent, the purest, the most intoxicating,

Exquisite outline, delicious child, my flesh and my blood,

Oh my baby my soul,

Incest lemon, lemon incest

But surely, seeing the video for the song will dispel any misunderstandings about the meaning of the song, right? What father doesn’t croon about incest over sleazy electronic music while laying shirtless in bed with his kid? In a perfect world, fucking all of them.

Whitney Houston Gets the Christmas Spirit… By Joining a Cult

 

Speaking of Whitney …

It takes a lot to out-crazy Bobby Brown. But time and again, Whitney rises to the occasion. In a stunt that Bobby couldn’t dream up in a hundred crack-filled years, Houston traveled to Israel in 2003 to spend time with a cult group known as the Black Hebrews. Her reasoning for the trip? To find inspiration for her upcoming Christmas album.

Hanging out with Jews to get inspired for Christmas? Hey, why the hell not? But the group, on the surface just a run-of-the-mill religious group, is purported by some to be more like a cult. Given their unorthodox policies of polygamy (men are allowed seven wives) and, much more ominously, strict vegetarianism, it’s not much of a stretch.

“Crack is vegetarian, right?”

According to some former members, the group believes so heavily in discipline that, not only have children died while being beaten by their parents, but adults are also beaten for failing to abide by the laws of the group’s settlement. Adults who have fallen ill due to the strict diet imposed on them have refused medical attention due to their refusal to visit “heathen doctors” in Europe and American.

Needless to say, Houston was sold. By the time she left, Whitney was referring to Israel as “my land.” And Bobby was probably on the hunt for six more wives. What a bunch of lucky ladies!

Phil Spector Kidnaps The Ramones

 

Legendary producer and songwriter Phil Spector is one of those guys who is batshit insane, but you’d never know it from his calm, reassuring exterior.

You can’t judge a book by its cover.

The above photo is what he looked like when he showed up to his trial for murder charges, looking as sane as possible to impress the jury. Anyway, what is so surprising is how successful he managed to become while spewing the crazy on damn near everyone around him.

Like the time he put a loaded gun to Leonard Cohen’s head. Or that one time when he fired a shot in the studio while he was working with John Lennon. Or all of the other times he allegedly pulled guns on the artists he worked with. But if one incident takes the cake over all of them, it would be the time when Phil allegedly held The Ramones at gunpoint, while working on their End of the Century album.

According to bassist Dee Dee Ramone, while in the studio Phil pulled Joey Ramone away for a private meeting. Dee Dee went off in search of the pair, at which point he says Spector emerged at the top of a staircase, waving a pistol around.

After Dee Dee objected to, you know, having a gun pulled on him and shit, he told Phil he was leaving. That he did this instead of, say, diving behind a piece of furniture while screaming, indicates that the sight of Spector with a gun wasn’t all that uncommon.

At that point, Spector allegedly pointed the gun at Dee Dee’s chest and motioned for the rest of the band to return to the piano room. Then, with the band captive in the locked room, he sat at a piano and made the band listen to him sing “Baby, I Love You.”

Repeatedly.

Until 4:30 in the morning.

But on the bright side, at least nobody got shot in the face!

 

 

The Coronavirus Epidemic Has Made Dating Even More Complicated

Sajmun Sachdev, a 36-year-old single woman in Montreal, was messaging with a promising match from the dating app Hinge. The guy had two desirable traits: a six pack and a job. And he’d asked her out — the only guy to do so in months. But one thing was worrying her: He had joked that he didn’t know if his headaches were from a concussion he got in China recently or a symptom of covid-19, the illness caused by the new coronavirus.

 

Excuse me. Did you say you’ve been in China recently?!

 

Conveniently, he canceled their date, claiming he was too busy and hasn’t tried to reschedule. Sachdev was relieved. “I’m not sure that this is totally worth it,” Sachdev recalled thinking, in a phone interview last week. “There must be someone else I can meet.”

People do fall in love through online dating, which is now the most popular way for couples to meet. But often they match but don’t message. Or they message but never meet up. Or they make plans but then cancel. Or they make plans, then unmatch and never show up. Or they make plans, date for a bit and then disappear without an explanation.

Now, coronavirus fears have further complicated this hotbed of flakiness. Dating apps are serving up reminders to wash your hands; profiles and first messages are full of coronavirus references; one dating coach suggested ways to avoid touching during that initial greeting. For many, the fear of the coronavirus is real. But in dating, it’s hard to know when people are using it as yet another reason to discard one another before they’ve even met.

 

“I don’t think anyone really wants to rush meeting in person, given everything,” says Meghan Lloyd, a 28-year-old woman in San Francisco who’s been in a few suspiciously drawn-out conversations, without being asked out. “We’re just chatting longer than is usual.” She’s also hesitant to meet up, asking herself: “Do I like this guy enough to risk catching coronavirus?”

Being well-traveled, like Sachdev’s match, is usually something singles brag about in their dating-app profiles, noting how many countries or continents they’ve visited, or suggesting that you help plan their next trip. Now Hinge profiles say things such as: We should match if you haven’t been to Italy. Comedian Nicole Byer, who hosts the “Why Won’t You Date Me?” podcast, tweeted that she’d been talking to a man on Tinder who unmatched her after she said she’d been traveling.

nicole byer

@nicolebyer

I was talking to a man on tinder and I told him I was traveling and he said “with this corona virus!?” Then unmatched me

Dating is maybe the most fun thing I’ve ever done.

Other daters use the prospect of self-quarantine as a chance to get sequestered with someone. “Let’s meet before the Coronavirus gets really bad” says one Hinge profile, where the dater touted himself as “fully stocked” with Purell and items from Trader Joe’s.

Evan Maeda, a 26-year-old man in San Francisco, says he’s seen lots of Tinder and Bumble bios seeking partners to help ride out the apocalypse. Since his demographic isn’t at high risk, most of the references are lighthearted. “I’ve never been able to fully read the sarcasm on dating apps — until now,” Maeda says. He’s even using the outbreak as an icebreaker. “How are we feeling about this coronavirus stuff?” has become Maeda’s version of that 2017 pickup line “I’m going to Whole Foods, want me to pick you up anything?”

The virus even has a fake dating profile floating around. (Hometown: Wuhan, China. Bio: “I love being outdoors, crowded places and food markets.” Turnoffs: Masks and goggles). “Saturday Night Live” combined coronavirus anxiety with Netflix viewers’ “Love Is Blind” obsession to conjure up a reality-TV dating scenario where singles dated while in separate pods — and while sick and hooked up to IVs. Some people even find the doom and gloom arousing: Coronavirus-themed porn has gone viral on Pornhub, Vice reports.

Apps are promoting good hygiene as good dating strategy. Last week, Hinge tweeted that singles should wash their hands before stealing a date’s fries. On Instagram, the dating app proclaimed that “washing your hands is hot.” Tinder has interrupted users’ swiping to deliver PSAs saying protecting yourself from the coronavirus was more important than dating. Avoid touching your face, Tinder cautioned, but the dating app conveniently didn’t say anything about touching someone else’s. With your lips.

And daters are definitely still doing that.

On Thursday night, 37-year-old Xavier Garcia was among the many singles at the Washington bar Green Zone who told The Post that they’re not being more cautious about making a move. “If I want to kiss someone, it doesn’t matter,” he said while standing next to a woman he had already kissed. “I’m not going to ask anyone: Do you have coronavirus?”

Emily Menge, 26, said she hadn’t thought about the coronavirus’s potential effect on her dating life until she had a nightmare that she was patient zero in Washington — and that the virus had spread because she’d kissed two men. “My mother was very disappointed,” she recalls. In Menge’s waking life, she is dating two men and at the moment everyone is healthy. But that doesn’t stop her and her friends from wondering: Should I be more careful? Should I stop making out with people in bars?

 

Menge and her friends haven’t resolved to change their behavior. “We’re going to get it anyway,” she posits. Though she does think coronavirus references in dating profiles have become a good litmus test for whether someone is paying attention. “If people update their profiles, it shows if they’re reading the news or not.”

Rachel DeAlto, the chief dating expert for Match, says that the virus is actually an opportunity to be more discerning. DeAlto suggests doing pre-dates on FaceTime or Skype before meeting, to get a sense of whether a connection is really worth leaving the house. In times where people are hunkered down — such as snowstorms — Match and other dating sites have reported surges in traffic. Coronavirus self-quarantines could have a similar effect.

Francesca Hogi, a dating coach in Los Angeles, says she hasn’t noticed her clients being too concerned about in-person meetings. But if someone is, Hogi advises that they talk about it with their date before that awkward hello. They could send a text saying something like “I’m really excited to meet you, but let’s not shake hands.” Perhaps daters might put their hands over their hearts in a contact-free salute to their dates. (Hogi doesn’t think fist bumps are good for first dates; they set more of a buddy tone.) She also suggests modeling good hygiene by putting on hand sanitizer together.

Sometimes the coronavirus is preventing people from meeting up not because they’re sick but because the virus is putting their work lives into overdrive. Or at least that’s what they claim.

For over a month, Michael Garofola, a 39-year-old attorney and former “Bachelorette” contestant in New York, has been trying to schedule a first date with a woman he met on Raya, the celebrity dating app. She keeps canceling because of work conflicts, he says, and, last week, she again had to postpone because the coronavirus’s effect on commerce kept her in the office late. But he hasn’t given up hope that they’ll eventually meet.

“All I can do is continue to wash my hands every day and wait to hear back,” Garofola says, “without washing my hands of her.”

 

 

California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Dillon – The Girl That Just Couldn’t Hold It

I’ve told many people this story, and while I tend to find it rather funny, not a single person I’ve told can come up with a more ridiculous and awful experience.

We were each around 18-19 years old.  A friend of mine worked at a local arcade, and that’s where I met Dillon.

She lived about a half hour away and was in Los Angeles with a friend to do some shopping. We started to hang out and, of course, fell madly in love with each other. A few months later, I was still living at my apartment  but I kept a lot of my stuff at Dillon’s Mom’s house. I’m surprised Dillon didn’t get pregnant. Seriously. You’re going to let an 19-year-old boy hang at your house while he’s dating your daughter and you work all day? I must be sterile. Needless to say, things were going fine until…

One afternoon, we were having sex, and I smelled something foul. Not quite sure what it was, I asked her if she could smell it, too.

“Nope.”

Back to the pogo stick. After finishing, she rolled off, and I began to get up. Until I saw it. A mess of brown funk on my apple bag.

“What. The. Fuck. You fucking shit on me?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Well, what the fuck is that?”

“Maybe you shit on yourself.”

(Anger rising, nausea increasing.)

“My asshole is on the other side of my body.”

(Hurling is imminent, running to the bathroom.)

After showering for about a week, I went home. A few days passed with zero contact between the two of us — she would call, I would avoid the situation. Until she decided to call my house at three in the morning.

“You better come and get your shit out of my house or it’s going out with the trash tomorrow.” Define irony: The girl who pooped on me telling me to get my shit out of her house.

My buddy and I headed over there, blissfully unaware of the insanity that awaited.

We pull up, and she’s standing at the door, salivating. She runs out of the house, spewing a deluge of obscenities and insults toward my manhood. My buddy and I begin to load his car with my belongings. Neighbors are waking up, turning on their porch lights and wondering what all the screaming is about. I was in hell.

At one point, I had a suitcase with clothes in it, and after carrying it to the car, I put it down to rearrange some things in the trunk. She seized the opportunity to go max-crazy by picking up the suitcase and hurling it down the street like a discus. Unsatisfied with her weak toss, she followed the suitcase down the avenue, picked it up a second time and once again heaved it further away from my friend’s car. Mind you, she never stopped cursing my existence while this mini-Olympics unfolded.

Then, things went berserk.

She ran into her house, screaming and crying and completely losing her shit. Her poor mother just stood there, watching the madness unfold.

I was outside at the time, but I watched her through a window in the kitchen as she opened a bottle of pills and took a swig. My friend sat in the driver’s seat of my VW minibus, pleading with me to just get in the car so we could leave. I should have listened.

Not only did she down a mouthful of pills, but she grabbed a big knife and came blasting through the screen door toward me. All around the mulberry bush I ran, being chased by an insane 18-year-old girl who wanted to filet me. Thankfully, she lost her footing and fell down, allowing me a tiny crevice of freedom. I hopped into my van, and we sped off towards sanity and safety.

I never went back to her house for the rest of my stuff and didn’t hear from her for quite some time. I found out through mutual friends that she had, in fact, tried to kill herself with the pills and ended up in the loony bin at the local hospital.

A few months later, I got a call from one of my former co-workers. After chatting for a few minutes, he asked me if my story of defecation was real.

“Of course it is.Why would I lie about some girl pooping on me?”

“I was just wondering, cause a buddy of mine says that he banged Dillon at a party, and she apparently did the same thing to him.”

Sounds like someone needs a new O-ring.

Poor thing…

 

 

Covid-19 Can’t Stop People From Looking for Love (or Hookups)

Sharing meals, hand-holding, and kissing can spread the coronavirus. That hasn’t stopped anyone from checking their dating apps.

It’s Friday the 13th!

Teens cough theatrically while their crushes spring away from them, retreating into their hoodies like turtles into their shells. Men and women walk up to each other on the street, stretch their arms out for hugs and their faces forward for kisses, only to jump back at the last moment and bump their feet together instead. A man walks down the street in a full hazmat suit, hand in hand with a coughing woman in shorts and a T-shirt while TikTok’s most ubiquitous new earworm—”It’s Corona Time”—honks and drones in the background. His caption: “When your girlfriend has coronavirus but you still love her.” Intimacy and social distancing do not mix.

As concerns about Covid-19 grow, many people’s minds have turned to romance. In China, where many have been on continuous quarantine lockdown for weeks, residents are sharing photos of stores emptied of condoms—hey, there’s not much else to do. In the United States, where would-be lovers are still free to leave their homes, citizens are more focused on whether dating during a pandemic is medically advisable. Stories about concerned and confused daters are everywhere, and people’s reactions to the outbreak range from seeking a hookup for the end of the world (and saying so in their dating app profiles) to instantly unmatching with people once they find out that their prospective mate has been on a plane recently.

Even the dating apps themselves have been swept up into the Covid-19 discussion. Tinder will interrupt your swiping to remind you that, while they want you to “continue to have fun,” you should also remember to carry hand sanitizer and maintain social distance. Queer-focused app Lex has also been reminding people to wash their hands and suggesting ways to keep busy and connected while quarantined. OkCupid has gone so far as to include a question about coronavirus—“Does coronavirus affect your dating life?”—as part of their users’ dating profiles. “We are always dropping in culturally, politically, and socially relevant questions for our daters to respond to,” says Michael Kaye, OkCupid’s global communications manager. “These questions help us match people on what matters to them.” Whether it’s desirable to be paired according to your infection anxiety level is up for debate, but OkCupid has found that coronavirus concerns definitely matter to people deciding whether or not to bring a new person into their lives or bedrooms.

The caution is appropriate. A typical date breaks just about all of the World Health Organization’s Covid-19 prevention rules. They’re public, and most restaurant tables aren’t 6 feet across. It’s likely you’ll touch hands, which is something people all over the world are trying to avoid. WHO officials have shared alternative greetings like waving, bumping elbows, and bowing. Then there’s kissing. The French government has officially warned its citizens against kissing each other on the cheeks, and Spain has instructed worshippers not to kiss statues of the Virgin Mary and Jesus, so you know this is serious business.

Considering coronavirus is carried in saliva and sputum, kissing is just about the most efficient way to transmit the disease imaginable, short of spitting directly into your date’s mouth. (We won’t yuck your yums, but maybe don’t do that until Covid-19 is under control.) “You could date someone new and make that connection high intensity, but you should then break many of your other normal contacts, especially those that end up reaching the elderly and infirm,” says Robert Glass, who has researched social disease transmission at Sandia National Laboratories, which investigates scientific solutions to national security threats. “Responsible individuals will choose to forgo dating entirely or shift it to online interaction instead.”

Illustrated woman, speech bubble, virus cell

Still, activity on dating apps is holding steady, and is actually expected to increase as more people quarantine themselves. The upswing in usage is typical of any event that keeps people holed up inside, and is sort of the digital equivalent of the Chinese run on condoms. People aren’t going to stop looking for love because of coronavirus—the strictures of coronavirus preparation have left them with little else to do. The apps obviously see this as a good thing: Some hope that their platforms will become a way for people to stay connected and meet new people without ever leaving their homes, especially if they (like Bumble) offer voice and video calls through the app. In some cases, preparations are also being made to field any questions users might have about Covid-19 safety and refer people to WHO and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention guidelines.

However, it seems that most people still aren’t averse to leaving their homes to find romance, despite anecdotes about spurned dates and paranoia hype to the contrary. According to OkCupid, 88 percent of people surveyed globally say they’re still dating during the outbreak. In the United States, the dating pool is still at 92 percent, though it varies by region. (The most nervous cities in America are Seattle and Miami, where only about 85 percent of respondents feel comfortable dating.) In countries that have been more seriously impacted by the virus, that number falls sharply. In South Korea, 71 percent of OkCupid users are still actively dating. In Italy, only 45 percent of people are willing to match and mingle at all.

As the outbreak goes on, daters in the US may change their minds and priorities, but for now the coronavirus seems more likely to inspire dance memes than genuine, celibacy-inducing panic. Even as people are encouraged to work from home and avoid large gatherings, and toilet paper, masks, and medicine fly off the shelves, people aren’t quite ready for their dating lives to go into quarantine. For most Americans, the threat of coronavirus still seems way further than 6 feet away.