Tales of Rock – Motley Crue Rubbed Egg Burritos On Their Dicks To Mask The Smell Of Groupie Sex

According to pop culture, hiding an affair is a complex plot involving secret phones, meaningful glances, and constantly sniffing and re-sniffing your clothes. It’s a high-stakes game, and if you don’t want to lose, you better be willing to do anything. Just ask Motley Crue.

In the early days of the band, most of the members had girlfriends — which is problematic when your job kind of insists on you sexing groupies. Not wanting to break up with the loves of their lives, but also wanting to constantly be boning other people whenever they weren’t home, the Crue came up with a plan. After every piece of backstage or recording booth tail, the band would take Tommy Lee’s van to a place called Naugles. There, they celebrated their infidelity with a round of egg burritos — one to eat, and one to slather all over their dicks and balls.

Now, rubbing Mexican food on your junk isn’t some old-fashioned cure-all for groupie-related STIs — this ritual was all about the smell. The band figured that the smell of egg burrito would overpower even the most pungent of backstage favors. And before you ask “Couldn’t they just shower?” remember that this is Motley Crue we’re talking about. Look at them. Taking a shower would raise more suspicions than coming home smelling of strange vaginas. As Vince Neil described it, “We would tell our girlfriends, ‘Oh, we dropped the burritos in our laps.'” Every day of the week. Maybe their girlfriends were too worried about them dying of high cholesterol to be thinking about them cheating.

As we know you’re dying to find out, they used the burritos like washcloths, not like fleshlights. The Crue didn’t ram their members into piping-hot eggs. At that point of the evening, their dicks were already burning plenty.

 

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Wildwood Daze – The Union Jacks – Dirty John – Part 1

“Okay, He’s freaking out like a retard. Put him in his bed and we’ll go.”

I had been to the restaurant where Brian our drummer worked part-time as a busboy. I don’t remember, but I had been there to meet up with him once for some reason. I do remember Brian telling me the bartender there liked my “friend with the big eyes.” (Me.) I don’t remember that person and quickly dismiss it in my mind.

One night Brain wants to bring us to the restaurant where he works for drinks. We get there and the band sits at the bar. Brian introduces us to the bartender, Frank. Or, as Brian calls him, Frank the Fag. Now I get it. Frank fancies me. It’s a compliment, but I’m straight.

We all order bottles of beer. Frank is being Frank but he’s nice as could be. We’re all just chilling at the bar and it’s nice to all go out and have a drink as a band. It’s like we’re somebody now. People recognize us when we’re out and I like it.

We’re sitting there for about an hour chatting about music, when Frank presents me with not one, but two large tumblers filled with a frothy pink liquid.

“What’s this?”

“It’s called a Dirty John.”

“Thank you, but I never drink hard liquor. I just don’t do it. I’m a beer guy only.”

“I’ll drink it!”

Jim is the youngest and newest member of the band. I think he wants to show that he’s a bad ass that can hang with the older guys.

“That’s really not necessary Jim.”

“No. I want to.”

Jim proceeds to chug the drinks.

We settle up and walk outside. Brian and Mark say they’ll bring the car around. I’m smoking a cig waiting with Jim. Brian doesn’t allow smoking in his car so we wait.

“I gotta take a piss.”

“You could have gone in the bar, Jim. Actually, I gotta go too. Beer goes right through me. There’s some tall hedges behind the restaurant. Let’s go back there.”

We walk back and are standing next to each other as if we’re just a couple of students pissing in the urinals in the Boys bathroom at Wildwood High. I suddenly hear this rustling noise and a thump. I glance to my right and Jim has vanished. I zip up my fly and go to the spot where he was.

There’s Jim, face down in the next yard. While pissing he literally just collapsed forward between the hedges. What the fuck was in that drink? Whatever it was, it hit him like a sledgehammer.

Brian and Mark pull up in his yellow ’77 Ford Mustang II.

“What the fuck’s up with Wolfie?” (Brian sometimes referred to Jim as ‘ Wolfie’ because the way he brushed his hair back, it resembled Lon Chaney’s monster.)

“Guys get over here!”

Brian and Mark scramble from the car and run over. We get Jim to his feet and he is just gone. Slurring and stumbling and we get him to the car. It takes all three of us.

“He went from buzzed to black out in a matter of seconds!”

Brian’s driving. Mark’s riding shotgun, and of course I’m in the back with drunk boy. He’s really out of it. Conscious, but super fucked up. More drunk than I’ve ever seen anyone ever in my life.

Brian’s driving him back to his house. “He better not fuckin’ puke in my car! I swear to god!”

We get to Jim’s house and I’m about to get him out and he pukes all over me. He doesn’t even know I’m there. Now I’m wearing the Dirty John meant for me.

Thankfully his parents weren’t home when we dragged our new guitarist back into his house.

We carry him through the door, in front of at least a half dozen siblings. They all look on in utter horror. I assure them their brother isn’t dead. He’s just sick and we’re taking care of him.

The kids know me from school. I’m the kid that comes and waits for Jim each morning and lets my glasses steam up while watching the Today show waiting for my friend so we can walk to school together.

 

It’s a mess. The little kids are clueless. We are simply a group of guys bringing their older brother home because he’s sick. Everything’s fine. Just like in any household in the 70’s. It didn’t happen.

We bang Jim up the stairs to his bedroom. When I say, bang I mean he was dead weight and me, Brian and Mark did the best to get him to his room.

This is all new ground for all of us. We’re new musicians, but we don’t know anything about but extreme behavior even if it’s accidental.

My best friend is so sick. I am wearing his puke. We try to run his head under the shower to revive him. He cries out like a molested child so we withdrawal.

“Okay, He’s freaking out like a retard. Put him in his bed and we’ll go.”

Brian was always so pragmatic.

“Turn him over on his stomach.” (I say) Put his face at the edge of the bed.”

“Why?”

“Umm… Bon Scott….” (See: Tales of Rock – Bon Scott) 

“He’ll be fine.”

” Dude. Hendrix died choking on his own puke.”

“He’ll be fine.”

We leave our lead guitarist in his bed and all go home. It’s bee a fucked up night.

My best friend got poisoned by a drink meant for me. What was Frank’s plan? Get me drunk beyond recognition and take advantage of me? That’s kind of evil.

But the worst part of it is… Was Brian in on it?

 

 

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How to Be Close with A Girl

How to Be Close with A Girl: The Guide to ‘Be More’ To Her the Friend Way

How to Be Close with A Girl.......

Being a friend has its advantages. Find out how to flirt with a girl the friend way and make her like you without ever telling her that you like her.

Read the introduction on how to make a girl like you to use these ten tips on how to get girl the right way.

When you try to get a girl, there’s the right way and the wrong way.But whatever way you choose, the girl immediately knows you’re hitting on her and she knows you want to go out with her.

So you’re going to have to hope that her first impression of you is a good one.

Unless the girl you like is interested in going out or looking for a potential date mate herself, there’s a good chance that she’d shut herself up for any advances as soon as she realizes you’re flirting with her.

Now you may know that you’re a great guy, but really, she still doesn’t know that for sure just yet.

Flirting on first impression is a game of chance, and however good you may be, there’s always a chance for misinterpretation and failure unless she’s already interested in flirting with you.

How to flirt with a girl the friend way

As you’ve read in the introduction, you really need to make a girl wonder about your intention and rouse her curiosity if you want to make her like you back.

Here are ten tips on how to flirt with a girl that can definitely help you leave an impression on her and make her like you at the same time. You don’t have to go out with guns blazing, play it subtle to start with and work your flirting around the way she reciprocates to your moves.

#1 Be the best man you can be

You can’t cheat your way through this step. The world is full of great guys who want to be with the best women they can find. If you want the girl you like, you need to be worth her effort. Even before you flirt with her, you need to make a real man out of yourself. Be the man who can attract attention from women and you’ll realize that wooing the best girls around you is way easier than you can imagine.

#2 Compliment her the right way

Is she looking particularly good today, or has she done something with her hair? If you like a girl, odds are, you’ll notice these signs almost immediately. If you like something about her, compliment her about it, be it her dress or her hair.

But if you want to tread into the dating ground and make her remember your compliment, you need to use your words well. Don’t say the obvious statement when you’re trying to compliment her. Try to get memorable and personal with your compliments without crossing the line. Here are two ways of complimenting the same thing.

Nice tee shirt! – Gosh, you look so beautiful.

Nice perfume – You smell so good today…

You can always compliment a girl about her tee shirt or her perfume directly, but by getting personal with it, you’re creating a memory for her. The next time she uses that perfume, she’s going to remember what you said. And that’s the first step to paving your way into her heart.

Saying “your skin is so soft… does it feel the same way all over?” or “nice tee shirt… I love the way it fits your body” may seem personal, but it also borders on creepy. Save these sexual compliments for later, when she wants to hear them.

#3 Get some alone time with her

Flirting is best indulged in when it’s just the both of you. You can show off your flirting skills around a group of girls and guys, but you won’t be able to create an impression on the girl you like, because she’ll never think it’s special. After all, if you’re going to flirt with every girl you meet, how will the girl you like ever feel like you’re treating her in a special manner?

Indulge in a bit of humorous flirting when there are people around, but save all your special compliments and “you make my day” lines when it’s just the both of you. When you’re flirting with a girl, make her feel more special than anyone else, and she’ll think about your conversation a lot longer.

#4 Girls like a funny bone

A sense of humor is a great quality to have for a conversation. If you don’t think you’re a funny or witty guy, don’t fret. Just grin for starters. Girls love a guy with whom they can have a fun time. You don’t need to memorize a thousand one liners to seem funny. Just remember an incident you came across or talk about the things around you.

If you want to get a sense of humor, start to see the lighter side in everything you do. Enjoy your life and always stay positive and cheerful. A good sense of humor always accompanies a guy who can see the bright side of everything, and shares his funny thoughts with the people around him.

#5 Tease her now and then

While flirting may seem like a lot of work, it’s all about the little details that matter. Flirting isn’t just about mouthing a few lines laced with sexuality. It’s the way you behave around each other, be it having a laugh or indulging in a bit of touchy feely flirting.

If you can have a fun conversation with her, you’re already flirting! It’s as simple as that. But to push the friendly banter into dating grounds, you need to tease her and pull her leg now and then, when she slips or does something funny.

#6 Play with dirty conversations

The first five steps are perfect for creating a flirty environment for both of you. It’s just friendly and casual. But once you get past that, both of you would be close enough to take the kiddie flirting to the next step.

Whenever you get some alone time or are speaking to her on the phone, learn to mix your conversations. By now, both of you would have warmed up to flirting with each other, so you don’t really have to be worried about crossing the line now and then. Pass a few sexual remarks or ask a few questions that border on personal space every now and then. Even if she tells you to shut it in jest, you’ll still be making a great impression.

#7 Get touchy feely

No flirting is ever complete without a few sexy touches now and then. Every now and then, try to find an excuse to touch her, be it her new earrings, her strand of hair that’s caught in the wind, or while crossing a busy street. And each time you touch her, let your hands linger just a bit longer than required. She’ll sense your hand lingering and she’ll love it, just as long as you’ve been working your magic on her.

#8 Ask her out often

Once in a while, when you’re flirting with her, ask her out to a movie or lunch the next day. The best time to pop this question would be when you’re just about to say goodbye, or when you’re text flirting. You don’t have to sound serious about it at all. By ending the conversation abruptly, you’ll make her wonder if you genuinely asked her out or if you were just joking. And as always, these little details rouse curiosity and excitement.

The next day, you can remind her about your date, and again don’t sound too serious about it. If she just laughs about it, laugh along and talk about something else. She may be unsure if you’re joking or serious, or she may not be willing to take the plunge just yet.

If she actually responds in your favor and accepts, woo hoo! But if she declines, laugh it off as a joke. But make a mental note to work harder on impressing her while flirting with her.

#9 Make those late night calls

The night has a funny way of awakening our sexuality. Any two friends who indulge in long conversations with each other at this bewitching hour can assure you of this one. If you want to know how to flirt with a girl and make her like you, start calling her up or texting her late into the night and have your flirty conversations.

The relaxed late night conversations will soon evolve into a mutual attraction that will easily cross the boundaries of friendship in no time, just as long as you use these flirty conversation tips.

#10 Let her see you as a dating potential

You may have created an attraction and a strong sexual chemistry between both of you, but you’re not done just yet. She may enjoy your conversations and secretly like you already, but to flirt with a girl and make her want to go out with you, you need to let her see you as a dating potential.

During a few conversations with her, drop a few hints that you’re looking out for a girlfriend or are interested in going out with someone. If she’s single or in a bad relationship, she’ll involuntarily think about both of you together, especially if it’s one of those late night calls.

Once you know how to flirt with a girl the right way by playing it safe and taking one little step beyond friendship each time, you’ll see that flirting with any girl you like doesn’t always have to be a game of chance and hope. Use these subtle flirting tips and flirt with any girl you want the friend way!

Now that you know how to flirt with a girl the friend way and make her like you, do you want to take it a step further into going out with each other? Find out how to date a friend here.

 

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Tales of Rock – Bon Scott

Ronald Belford “Bon” Scott (9 July 1946 – 19 February 1980) was a Scottish-Australian singer and songwriter, best known for being the primary lead vocalist and lyricist of the Australian hard rock band AC/DC from 1974 until his death in 1980.[1]

Scott was born in Forfar, Scotland, and raised in Kirriemuir, before moving to Melbourne with his family in 1952 at the age of six. They lived in the suburb of Sunshine for four years before moving to Fremantle.[1] Scott formed his first band, The Spektors, in 1964 and became the band’s drummer and occasional lead vocalist. He performed in several other bands including The Valentines and Fraternity before replacing Dave Evans as the lead singer of AC/DC in 1974.[1]

AC/DC’s popularity grew throughout the 1970s, initially in Australia, and then internationally. Their 1979 album Highway to Hell reached the top twenty in the United States, and the band seemed on the verge of a commercial breakthrough. However, on 19 February 1980, Scott died after a night out in London. AC/DC briefly considered disbanding, but the group recruited vocalist Brian Johnson of the British glam rock band Geordie. AC/DC’s subsequent album, Back in Black, was released only five months later, and was a tribute to Scott. It went on to become the second best-selling album in history.[1]

In the July 2004 issue of Classic Rock, Scott was rated as number one in a list of the “100 Greatest Frontmen Of All Time” ahead of Freddie Mercury and Robert PlantHit Parader ranked Scott as fifth on their 2006 list of the 100 Greatest Heavy Metal Vocalists of all time.[3]

 

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Tales of Rock – Lori Maddox – Part 1

“I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO DAVID BOWIE”

IN THE EARLY 1970S, the Sunset Strip was a magnet for rock stars: Bowie, Zeppelin, Iggy Pop, Mott the Hoople, The Who. They all hung out in the VIP rooms of louche LA nightclubs like E Club, the Rainbow, and Rodney Bingenheimer’s English Disco. And with them, of course, came groupies. Scantily clad 14- and 15-year-olds like Sable Starr and Lynn “Queenie” Koenigsaecker sipped cherry cola, dropped pills, and evolved into pubescent dream girls for the platform-shoed rockers who could get anything and anyone they desired. 

MICHAEL OCHS ARCHIVES/GETTY IMAGES
MICHAEL OCHS ARCHIVES/GETTY IMAGES

 

 

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What It’s Like Dating Someone with a Mental Illness

That is like dealing with care, with the difficult parts of someone, who is already broken. The broken pieces have to be mended and always bear the label, ‘handle with care’. Not to be taken with negligence or granted, a relationship with someone having a mental illness is a challenge at some point. You want the person to be as happy, because you love them, but are also sometimes shattered because they fail to stand tall in times of your emotional needs.

Mental illness refers to disorders relating to anxiety, depression, diet, compulsion and so on. Although curable, they are not easy to overcome. Have a look as we discuss how is it to date someone fighting with a mental disorder.

Cancellation of plans is very frequent.

Due to mood swings, they are not sure of what do they exactly desire at the moment. Thus, there are chances that you may be sacked for the plan, impromptu.

It feels like a swing of emotions, when height brings delight and any low, simply seems a bore, but a torture, here.

What It Is Like Dating Someone with a Mental Illness

And you are left figuring out what wrong you have done. While, all this time, you were helping them heal.

Mental illness often encounters diverse emotions, and thus, rules set in the relationship are tweaked due to the mental state.

Communication often turns out to be a problem, because you have to think, A LOT, before speaking anything.

A real problem, but can be gradually resolved with deeper understanding.

Instead of always trying to heal them yourself, stand tall with them in their difficult time, be their strength and they will fix themselves for you. They have their issues to face, thus, simply being the shoulder to cry on helps immensely.

 

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Duncan – Touchdown – Part 1

“Whenever his plane lands he always texts me the signal: “Touchdown.” I know he’s landed in Philly and the fun is about to begin. But in that moment I didn’t realize how his phrase would ring true this fateful weekend.”

Duncan had planned on coming into town to visit me. It had been a while since we’d hung out. But this was a very special weekend. He was turning 50 and the Philadelphia Eagles were playing in the Super Bowl.

Whenever his plane lands he always texts me the signal: “Touchdown.” I know he’s landed in Philly and the fun is about to begin. But in that moment I didn’t realize how his phrase would ring true this fateful weekend.

My schedule has changed since he last was up here in Philly. I work every day and only get every other Saturday off. I don’t mind because I love to work and stay busy. We’ve got two businesses to run and this blog’s not going to write itself.

While I was walking into work today, I realized that even though we don’t see each other very often, Duncan is my very best friend. We’ve known each other for 20 years.

He later rolls into the salon on Friday afternoon. It’s great to see him. He walks up to me and practically jumps into my arms.

I give him the tour of the gym and salon. It’s been over a year since he’s seen it. The last time he was here the space was an empty husk of a fallen restaurant. Now it’s a busy tanning salon with a personal training fitness center up front. We’ve come a long way since then. He’s impressed.

We takes a seat in the waiting area and we chit-chat. This time together gives us a chance to catch up on what’s happening in each other’s lives. It’s been slow at the salon so we can talk. Duncan also likes all of the young attractive women that come in to tan. It’s like an endless pageant of beauty.

I get a couple of cheese steaks and sodas delivered and we happily munch them, while bringing each other up to date. We discuss current events, business, work, the women in our lives, and most of all Super Bowl LII.

When I finish we decide to go to Duncan’s favorite bar at the Ritz Carlton. He stayed there last year and we loved it. I got him a more modern and less expensive room at the Hotel Palomar at 17th and Sansom. But there’s no bar that looks like what’s at the Ritz Carlton. It’s a vast space with high ceilings surrounded by pillars. It’s like you’re having a drink at a beautiful white marble bar in ancient Rome. (But with all the modern amenities) If you ever get to Philly, check it out.

We park it at the bar and Duncan goes for his favorite: Rum, Bailey’s and Cream. It’s like a White Russian but more like a milkshake for adults. I like my drinks with a touch of evil so I go for the Manhattan, Bulliet Rye, Sweet Vermouth and brandied cherries. A lethal and elegant classic cocktail.

We get into it. We’ve been friends for 20 years. We know basically everything about each other. But there’s always new material. Stuff you know, but we go for the deeper dive. We both have issues with our parents. Who doesn’t our age? Especially boys.

We agree that the only way we could have moved forward in our lives was to forgive them and embrace all of the great things they did. Not dwell on the horrific things they did to us growing up.

We used to just listen to heavy metal and go to concerts and eat and party in the old days.

We relive those days of simple joy. Building our time together around concerts, meals, drinks, drugs and fun. But now we’re both men in middle age that have held our friendship through truth and our common interests. But mostly growing up in the same era and loving all of the same things.

The pain we suffered growing up has always been there, but tonight in middle age we let loose and agree to forgive. My gentle friend’s childhood was way worse than mine. Our parents were so good to us and they did the best they could, but why the violence against us?

Nothing good came from any of that. It was all just an emotional and physical release for them to escape from their own pain and frustration. None of our sisters knew this, but the sons did. The humiliation. The beatings. It was awful.

How could you do that to a child. By today’s standards, it is a 911 call.

I know my best friend’s life was worse than mine. There is always someone who’s had it worse than you.

I Love Duncan and treasure him as my distant best friend. We are always connected even though there are miles between us.

Our cylinders run an engine of friendship that transcends time and space. Business, values, marriage, relationships, philosophy, politics. comedy, film, Star Wars, comics, music. Everything. I just adore him.

20 years. You can’t build that without your ups and downs but there’s love there. It’s something we both have wanted our entire lives. I met my very best friend 20 years ago through the banking industry.

You never know when you’re going to meet a best friend. Sometimes you don’t even know who they are when you have them. But you open your eyes one day in this fleeting life and there they are 20 years later and you are just as you were when you first started.

You love all of the same stuff. There’s a little bit of new stuff, but the vein runs through it and it is pure. That’s your guy. He gets you. He knows your secrets and all of your fuck ups and weaknesses and he hangs in there anyway.

You can tell him anything and he won’t ever judge you. That’s a friend. He has all of his shit, and you have yours. You have both taught each other to forgive those that have hurt you. They only were doing the best they could with what they had.

They’re lives were so much harder than ours. Their parents came from a harder place and were even more ignorant than we are. But we’re the next generation and we love them. They did so many great things and that outweighs most of the awful mistakes that they made with us.

 

I’m plowing Manhattan’s and Duncan is destroying his White Russians like he’s John Bonham. Then for the first time in our 20 year relationship we finally dig into the darkness.

The agonizing pain of our childhoods and how ignorant our parents were. I describe what happened to me and with Duncan I feel safe in telling him what my childhood was like.

Then he describes incidents from his childhood and I am horrified and tears come to my eyes because I can’t imagine that happening to my friend.

It’s way worse than any of my punishments and almost seem like a call to child services would have been in order back then.

But as awful as it all is as we laugh and throw our cocktails back we discuss forgiveness and understanding. We both realize where our parents were in their lives back then. Where they came from and how far they came with all of us kids.

It was a different time back then and they didn’t know any better. They really did a lot of great things. Fantastic things for us kids, but there were moments where they made missteps that marked us forever.

They could never have foreseen the long-term effect on how what they gave us would propel us into greatness, but in that same moment, provide a weight, a nearly disabling weight that could destroy us in the same moment.

Some of their children would prevail and soar high and clean. Others would crawl from the wreckage of their upbringing broken and fragile, but would still find their way.

Maybe these birds cast from the nest would find their way and eventually fly back to the nest and rescue their own parents from their on demise.

Simply as an act of kindness.

Because they had become good people.

They were able to take the best of what they learned from their parents, and forgive the worst. Learn from it and be the best people they could be.

That’s my Duncan.

It’s late and we’re elated but wiped out. The bill comes and it’s $200. My God.

Duncan pays it.

I feel a twinge of regret but he insists. The weekend is only getting started and I’m stupid happy to see him.

I love Duncan. Our history is so rich, we could write a phicklphilly book just about our stories. (I probably will)

Our friendship has aged beautifully. Middle age hasn’t been kind to any of us, but we’re still tight as super glue. Our friendship has transcended time and space. We still love and hate all of the same stuff together. Now we’re in our fifties and I would love nothing more than to sit beside my dear friend watching whatever new Star Wars incarnation Disney can create and be happy.

We just want to share a moment, a drink, and a laugh.

We’ll do more than that this weekend, but for now… I’m just happy to have him in my life after all of this time.

 

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