Johnny R. – One Vice at a Time

Your eyes are not deceiving you. That is a dude. Phicklephilly is still for the most part, straight, and still fickle. Originally I was going to just write about the women I have met, dated, romanced, and loved in this city for the last 10 years. But now that I have been writing this for a while, I thought I’d like to make this into a book and possibly a TV series. So I’d like to start to introduce some male characters that I have met here in Philadelphia. I consider them friends, so they should be included in this story. This way when I make reference to them, you’ll know who they are.

I met Johnny, at my first advertising gig when I got back from New York. Same company where I met Michelle. He worked in the finance department. He’s originally from New York himself. Pretty big family. Irish Catholic. Both parents have passed on.

I met Johnny at a bar one night near where we worked. I was having drinks with some of the back office people in my department and the one girl was friends with Johnny. She introduced me and I liked the guy. He had a sharp wit, and sort of an attitude. I knew he was a smart guy.  So every time I was over at that bar he would be there with some of the gang. We sort of became friends from just running into each other at this particular watering hole.

I always said we should meet up for lunch and a beer one day on the weekend or something. I like Johnny. Like I said, he was a funny guy. Plus, we enjoyed and appreciated many of the same music acts, movies and TV shows.  So he decided one Saturday to come to the city to get his hair cut and said we could meet up after. He lives with his girlfriend of nearly 8 years. They share a house up in Mayfair which is part of Northeast Philly. Her family owns a house in Sea Isle City, NJ. She works in jewelry sales.

So he comes down on the train to center city.  I think we got some food together. But for the life of me I can’t remember where. Maybe one of the old mexican restaurants that’s been knocked down and converted into a Target. After lunch, he says he wants to stop and see a friend of his. So we walk through Rittenhouse and head over towards 15th street. He doesn’t mention exactly where his friend is. So we’re walking down 15th street and we’re crossing the street near Chancellor street. I assume his friend works at the Applebee’s on the corner. But he keeps walking down Chancellor. Then I see where his “friend” works. The place is down the end of the block, (Or filthy trash strewn and dumpster alley as I see it) It’s called the World Famous Gold Club. I have never heard of the place. At that point I didn’t know it existed.

Here’s my take of strip clubs or gentleman’s clubs. In all of my experience the majority of men that go to these places are usually all married, and unhappy in their relationships. Every guy I know that goes to these places, is unhappy and dissatisfied with his life. Granted, there are some older gentleman that are just sad and lonely and just want a little attention from some women and will pay to get it. I’m single. I am not currently in a relationship. I could go every night and get lap dances and probably even commit even more foul deeds with some of the harlots at the WFGC. But I have absolutely no interest.

I have nothing against these establishments or the folks that go there, but it’s just not really my scene. Every time I’ve gone to one of these places in the last 10 years, it’s been with some guy that is in some unhappy marriage or relationship. So these places serve a purpose. I’d rather hang out with real women that aren’t being paid to take off their clothes. But occasionally it is fascinating to go for the novelty. But for the most part it’s a big rip off. The girls will try to steal from you, the bartender will over charge you for drinks and you end up with a $200 bill. Even the ATM fee is $6 per transaction. The whole place is designed to separate poor saps from their cash. Many times by the time you’re drunk enough to want to go to a strip club, you are banged up to the point where the decisions you make are not the correct ones and you can be easily manipulated by dark forces.

But Johnny has introduced me to this little dive. It’s early on a Saturday so the place is quiet. Not many girls are working. He introduces me to his friend. She was a bartender there. Pretty face but all tatted up. Not my cup of tea. The whole lifestyle of those places just turns me off. But I had a good time there that day with Johnny and the girls. I don’t do lap dances or anything. I usually just hand the girl a dollar when she asks me to tip her for her onstage performance. I don’t even stuff it in their top or their bottom. That’s normally what’s offered. I just put the buck in her hand. But Johnny on the other hand, gets lap dances in the back. They are obviously more money. But he has been known to actually get sex from the girls in the back room. Most times he doesn’t pay for that extra perk either. I hear he’s well endowed, so maybe that’s the trick.

So Johnny will pop in occasionally in Phicklephilly. He comes down to center city  every other month. We go to dive bars, drink beer, smoke cigarettes, listen to the jukebox and discuss life. If he gets a good drunk on we may partake in some other activities. I’ll tell you this; Johnny has about 5 different vices. I wouldn’t say he has any addictions. He just loves vice. I enjoy a little vice, but as I get older, I need less. But regardless… I love the guy. I consider Johnny a dear friend.

So next time he’s in town I’ll tell you what sort of deviltry we get into.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every Monday at 9am EST.

I publish new Dating content every Monday at 9am EST. I publish Updates and bios and stories about related characters, such as male and female friends and acquaintances on Wednesdays at 9am EST.

Michelle – Chapter 3 – Ignition

I never wonder how history can get to be blurred over time. Details are lost. Words forgotten. Deeds bent and twisted by time and sometimes other factors. The story of Michelle and I only lived in two places. In both of our heads. That’s it. Nowhere else in the world. There is her version. There is my version and somewhere in between there is the truth. But I will do my best to tell this compelling tale.

Michelle was still trying to get acclimated to the job and was coming along. We had been getting pretty close as pals. There was lots of laughs in our department and Michelle fit right in with our band of idiots. Like the rest of the company, everyone liked and respected her.

In our building we had our on lunchroom. Like the watering hole on the savannah, it would not be uncommon to see salespeople, writers, reporters, production people and even management all eating in the same place. Obviously they would all sit in their little cliques together like high school.

One day I asked Michelle if she’d like to join me for lunch up there. She agreed, which I was thrilled about. I could never have imagined in this moment how this day would ultimately end. We’d be moving to our new, modern workspace downtown, so this could be one of the last time anyone of us would be using this lunchroom.

Lunch was nice and people said hello as they passed. I was still relatively new to the company so many people didn’t know who the hell I was but everybody knew Michelle. I don’t remember what we even talked about and it doesn’t even matter. I was just happy to be out of our tiny office and sitting enjoying a simple meal together in public.

After lunch we went back to work as usual. The details are a little fuzzy because this was 8 years ago, but Michelle and several other staff members were all going across the street to a local go-to bar after work for a few drinks. I do remember it was a Thursday, because the next day was Friday and there were moving all of our stuff to the new space. We were to start at the new location the next Monday. I’ll never turn down the offer to have a drink, so when Michelle asked if I was going I said that I’d check it out. I had been there before but only with a co-worker for lunch.

I finished up my work and packed up the last of my stuff. It was probably around 5:30 when I walked over to the parking garage and dropped my computer bag into the trunk of my car. I walked across the street, and entered the establishment. Michelle was sitting at the bar chatting with this young, short jewish guy named Seth who worked in local digital sales. I knew him only in passing because we sold different products than his group. The local sales team were a young, hip, good-looking bunch that always appeared to have it better than the rest of us. I will say this, I liked him. He was hungry and a good sales guy. So he had my respect. I took a seat next to him and Michelle was on the other side of him.

I ordered a glass of wine and we all chatted. Talking about the move to downtown and just regular corporate stuff that happens at every happy hour around the world. At some point Michelle got up to chat with some ladies she was friends with by the jukebox. Seth and I continued to talk. Business, goals, women, bosses, etc. At one point I asked him how his love life was going. He said he had started dating a nice girl and it seemed to be going well. He asked me and I told him I had just moved back from New York and wasn’t seeing anyone. I asked him if he could have any woman who would it be. He looked me right in the eye and with a serious tone said; “Michelle.” I was like, “Really?” He said, “yea, I love her. She’s amazing.” I suppose I would get that answer from any short Jewish guy. A pretty tall blonde on his arm.

Time went by and everyone was throwing back their drinks. People drink a lot in the advertising and financial world. It’s just part of the business. We were all pretty buzzed and everyone was laughing and the place was getting loud. Seth said he had to leave soon, and it looked like Michelle and I were going to stick around a little longer. I thought I’d shake the place up and see if I could get everyone’s attention and maybe annoy them at the same time. It was my turn to feed the jukebox, so I had a plan. I played something popular that everyone liked and then I programmed in Dio’s Holy Diver being performed by Killswitch Engage. I love heavy metal and I’m sure nobody ever places that kind of music in a place like that. But then I programmed a bunch of other songs that were part of my plan.

Seth says his goodbye’s and now it’s just Michelle and I and we’re chatting away and slugging our cheap wine. Frank Sinatra comes on the jukebox. Michelle exclaims that she likes his music and asks if I played those songs. I told her it was indeed me. She smiled.

We continued to talk and tell stories, I told her I  lived in Pennsauken, NJ and how I would ultimately find a place in the city . I always felt like the type of person that should live in a metropolis. I had spent most of my life living in the suburbs wherever I was and hated it. But after getting a taste of city life while in NY I knew where I belonged. Michelle lived in a high-rise apartment building in Fairmount. It was only about six blocks away so she liked walking to work. She had a roommate, who she used to model with a few year ago and they had remained friends and decided to get a place.  She said the apartment had a great southern view of the city.

Then she asked me if I wanted to check out her view. We had been drinking for a couple of hours and were both “tipsy”. I’m being gentle here. It’s like when the police say: “Tipsy driving is still drunk driving.” That’s how tipsy we were.

We literally were outside and she was having a cigarette and we had our wine glasses in our hands, and the next thing I knew we were walking towards her house still caring our glasses of wine and drinking from them. She whips out her iPod, (I had only seen one before in my life. I still had a flip phone back then!) She puts one ear bud in my ear and the other in hers and she’s playing songs for me. It was the first of many surreal episodes I would encounter with Michelle. I asked her wouldn’t the bar be angry if people walked out with full glasses and took them? She said it happened all the time. At that point I didn’t give a shit, I was just happy to be with her. Lunch and then drinks in the same day was a big deal to me. I did notice that if you don’t have both ear buds in your ears the sound quality just isn’t there. But the music was chill and sort of dreamy.

I don’t remember entering her building, nor do I remember going up in the elevator, or entering her apartment. Apparently her roommate was away for the weekend. All I remember is kissing her and her saying my breath was bad. I don’t know why she said that or even why  I remember that, but it didn’t stop me from drunkenly making out with her. I remember some other things happening, but we did not have sex that night. I can’t remember anything else or where  I even slept that night or when the night ended.

I woke up I think on the floor the next morning and was pretty hung over. The beautiful thing was we didn’t have to go into work that day, which was clutch. I remember looking everywhere for my glasses. For the life of me I was looking all over for them and just couldn’t find them. It’s even harder to find your glasses when you’re not wearing your glasses! I did finally locate them. They were under a chair out on her balcony. It had rained during the night and they were all wet but thankfully, undamaged. No idea…

We awkwardly pulled ourselves together, and I’m sure she was probably feeling bad about what transpired, especially because she was working hard to get back together with Delaware Dave. I think we agreed that it was just a case of drunken slipsies (That’s what my Dad calls it) I apologized for the infraction but deep down didn’t regret having it happen.

We said our awkward goodbyes and I told her I would talk to her later. She said she had to go into the office and pick up a few things but that was all. So I did my first Philadelphia walk of shame back to the parking garage under cloudy skies. When I got home I realized I had forgotten to pack the AC adapter to my computer. It was still plugged in the wall under my cubical at the old office. I called Michelle and asked if she could get it for me. She was pretty hung over and she agreed to slip in and out, and get her stuff and grab my adapter for me. Well at least she doesn’t hate me, I thought.

I was so tired and banged up from the events of the night before, I just drove back to Jersey and took a nap at home. It was officially the weekend, and we would all be reporting to the new location Monday morning. I had a lot to think about, but only time would tell what the coming days would bring for us all.

 

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Sarika – River of Betrayal

I was down at Harbor Park down on the Delaware River, two summers ago. I remember I was stumbling about with one of my bartender pals, Myles. We her drunk and stoned and just grooving on the lights and checking out the ladies.

I remember looking off to my two o’ clock and seeing this stunning Indian beauty in a blue and white striped shirt with white slacks. She really struck me because she was so lovely. Just an ethereal, exotic beauty. She was with a group of girls, so we just kept walking. Myles had a girlfriend at the time and I wasn’t in the market, so we just browsed.

I never really thought of that Eastern beauty again, until I was chatting with my friend, Keila. She was showing me some of her friends in her phone, and I was suddenly like, “Wait a second! Back up! Who is that?” “Oh, my friend, Sarika?”

I told her how I saw her at Harbor Park and was immediately taken by her beauty. “Can you introduce me to her?” I squeaked.

So a few weeks later I was at an event with Keila, and she had her squad with her. Sarika was there. Keila knows everybody and has tons of contacts so it stands to reason she’d be friends with hot Sarika. She introduces me, and I proceed to tell her the story of how I had noticed her at Harbor Park weeks before.

I became friends with Sarika. We would meet up for drinks, and I was just happy to be seen in public with such a deadly beauty. I would take her to fashion shows and she would be hotter than the models on stage. I kid you not.

I learned that Sarika was a nerd. As hard to believe as that may seem, it’s true. She worked as an engineer. She would rather go to the Franklin Institute after hours with me than sit in a bar or go to a club. I found that incredibly hot. Because most nerds aren’t hot. I mean my friend Trish is hot, but not “Sarika” hot. We would hang out quite a bit. I started to realize that she didn’t have many female friends. She was seeing this pretty boy type, but I think he wasn’t that into her. Which I didn’t understand. How could you not be interested in someone who lovely? The more time I spent with Sarika, the more I started to see that she was vacuous and really self-absorbed. She would say things negative about herself only so you’d say, “Oh no you’re not. You look great.” Why would she need that?

Then I heard a story from my dear friend Alice. She was in New York with Sarika, and Alice was visiting some people and one of them was an ex that she was still friends with. Alice stressed to everyone that she still had some feelings for him. Which if you were a normal person you would be careful about what you said or did around them. So they’re in a taxi, and Sarika starts flirting with Alice’s ex right in front of her. Then goes so far as to laugh and make fun of Alice. I hear this story later, and I find it hard to believe, because Sarika has never done anything to me. But I’m not a girl.

Then I hear another story about how Sarika was flirting with Keila’s then boyfriend. She would do it right in front of her. Keila knew this was breaking the code. You don’t pull that shit on your friends. Granted, at the time she was dating this rich guy that looked like Woody Harrelson’s brother with down syndrome and the HIV. I didn’t understand that mess.

So what was up with Sarika? Was she really a Black Widow? My female friends would ask me why I still hung around with that shrew, and my answer was always the same. “She’s never done anything to me.”

New Years 2016 rolls around. I have tickets at the Pyramid Club for a $70 a plate event. Who do I want to be seen with in all the pictures on New Years eve at the Pyramid Club? Exactly. I don’t even have to say her name.

Well, it’s like the day before and I get a call from her and she says, “I’m trying to get Jim a ticket but it looks like it’s sold out.”

Ok. I know she has been seeing Jim off and on for a while now. First that smacked ass wouldn’t commit to her, because he probably was still banging his ex that he said he was ‘still ung up on.’ Maybe he didn’t want to commit to a brown-skinned girl.  i don’t know. But if you are my first choice to go to an exclusive event, and you agree, I don’t expect you to bring a date. It’s just rude. I didn’t expect to be kissing Sarika at midnight. i just wanted her to go with me. Sure i would have loved to have been with her, but i knew that wasn’t happening. She was just a friend, and the best darn bit of arm candy i knew.

I jus got really pissed at the infraction and sort of cut her off. I ended up taking some other loser chick that I could get to go with me last minute. I shouldn’t call her a loser. She’s clearly not but it just wasn’t the same. It was however one of the most sober new years eves I’ve ever had.

I started to think about some other times I was out with Sarika with some other women friends there. Sarika would sometimes make fun of the other girls. It’s kind of bizarre. Here is this tragically beautiful girl, who knows she’s gorgeous and smart as a whip, and she’s kind of an asshole to those around her. But I will tell you this. In the time I’ve known her, she’s never once been in a stable loving relationship. So there’s that.

My father used to say, you should be able to be friends with men and women. It’s a good balance. He also once said, “Go through this life and hurt as little people as possible.”

So watch out for karma, Sarika.

Update: It’s been over a year but I recently ran into Sarika and we have made some amends. I am supposed to meet up with her this month, so we’ll see what’s up. Sure she’s probably still a self-absorbed asshole.

But God, she is beautiful…

Phicklephilly!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every Monday at 9am EST.

I publish new Dating content every Monday at 9am EST. I publish Updates and bios and stories about related characters, such as male and female friends and acquaintances, on Wednesdays at 9am EST.

Lizzie – The Girl in the Elevator

I worked in one of the high rises in center city Philly. I’ve been in sales for over 30 years and I can think on my feet and have mad game. Hell… Sheena Parveen gave me her cell at a Ashton Cigar bar one night.

One day I’m coming back into my building from lunch with my usual lunch date, the guy that works in the cubicle next to mine! I’m walking to the elevator in the back and the door is closing as we get in and I hear the light patter of shoes scampering to catch the elevator. I quickly jam my hand between the door and the wall and the elevator pops open. In walks a very lovely slender Asian girl. Fair skin, black hair and a very slender frame. Like a fragile eastern bird. She’s somewhere on the right side of 25.

Our office was on the 9th floor and she was going to 7. She was very sweet and thanked me for holding the door for her. She said she wouldn’t have made it without me. She was happy there were still some chivalry left in this world. I then did something right then that I refer to as “running the program.” That’s where I work a pitch as fast as I can to make contact with someone. Now this is very difficult to do but I have perfected it to the point where it almost feels like I’m giving them a push. We’re chatting and she’s giggling and  by the time she gets off on the 7th floor, She has my business card, I know her name and what she does. She even says that she would like to chat more with me sometime.

So when we got off on 9, my colleague, Rocco smiles and is like, “Dude, you are something else.”

So we had a good laugh about me running my little program. But it may the fastest I’ve ever worked. I had a solid connection in 7 floors in an elevator. That’s got to be some kind of record.  Anyway, I didn’t think anything more about it. It was just a fun exercise which I think was more about showing off my charming prowess if nothing else.

A couple of days later I get an email from Lizzie and at work. She said how it was so nice to meet me and that if I’d like to meet her one day for coffee that would be great. So I waited a few hours. (You have to! You can’t seem too available or desperate, even if you are!) I wrote back to her and gave her some times we could meet. The next Tuesday we met at Horn & Hardart’s in One Penn Center above Suburban Station. She looked lovely and cute. We chatted about just some general things. She wanted to learn more about what I did and I wondered what her deal was. She is from China. She’s an only child. She was working for a non-profit in the building that helps immigrants learn about their legal rights. So as young as she was she was pretty much a lawyer. But for whatever reason you can’t be a lawyer in China and just walk over here to the good old U S of A and think you can practice law here. So she wasn’t making much money. But she was very sweet and I liked her.

I waited a week and again my colleague Rocco came through in the clutch with yet another pair of tickets. This time it was to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat. Now I love the arts and normally enjoy most of the stuff I see. There is nothing better than watching live performance art. I really have to hand it to the people who do it for a living. But in the arts that’s extremely hard to do. So I reached out to Lizzie and asked her if she’d like to go. She said yes!   She said she would read about what it was about and meet me at the theater Sunday. I tried to squeeze a dinner before out of her but she had something to do that afternoon. So Sunday rolls around, I text her and we meet. She’s on time and looks adorable. She is wearing a little skirt and has a bow in her hair. It almost seemed a little juvenile, but like I said, she is young.

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is a musical or operetta with lyrics by Tim Rice and music by Andrew Lloyd Webber The story is based on the “Coat of many colors” story of Joseph from the Bible’s Book of Genesis. This was the first Lloyd Webber and Rice musical to be performed publicly (the first,The likes of us.) written in 1965, was not performed until 2005).The show has little spoken dialogue; it is completely sung-through It’s family friendly storyline, universal themes and catchy music have resulted in numerous productions of the show according to the Really Useful Group, by 2008 more than 20,000 schools and amateur theatre groups had successfully put on productions.

Joseph gets kicked out of his family, falls down a hill, gets the dream coat, meets a bunch of people, gets locked up and then made into a king. It’s a fun romp and is nothing like the badass awesomeness of Jesus Christ Superstar.

Well needless to say Lizzie LOVED IT. She was laughing and cheering like a little kid. She said she had never seen anything like it. You know, I think w take it for granted in this country that we’re all so hip and jaded that it’s hard to get American’s worked up about something. It has to be groundbreaking and new. This musical was created back in the sixties. We don’t realize that people from other countries see something like that and go fucking wild. It’s all relative.

It was a nice evening, she lives close to the theater but I walked her to her door anyway. It was a fun exchange and the best part I guess for me was that thanks to my colleague Rocco, the whole night only cost me $1.00 for a bottle of water that Lizzie wanted. (Unlike the sledgehammer $130 lunch tab I got crushed with at Devon with Maria!)

I ran into her a few more times in the building but wasn’t really feeling it anymore. When she would talk she just seemed so juvenile and also kind of the way she dressed too. Like a skinny Asian Minnie Mouse.  But I had a nice time with her that night and I know she loved the show so that’s all that matters.

I know this wasn’t my usual epic tale, but it was one that needed to be told. The lesson here is, you never know when your going to meet someone new, and sometimes that can come from a simple act of kindness.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please follow, like, and comment on this and future posts. All feedback is greatly appreciated. I publish every Monday at 9am EST.

I publish new Dating content every Monday at 9am EST. I publish Updates and bios and stories about related characters, such as male and female friends and acquaintances on Wednesdays at 9am EST.

Keila – The Gaza Stripper

Keila is not really a stripper. She is however a passionate Israeli lady that lets me get away with giving her crazy titles. When I think of Keila, a few things come to mind. A lady with one of the biggest hearts I have ever met. One of the greatest networkers I have ever seen in my life. Yes, she is even better than I am, and I’m good.

I kept running into her at different events I was attending. She finally came up to me and we started chatting. We ended up becoming friends and sometimes hanging out. She is always a ball of energy, and you’re guaranteed a lively time when you are with her. I don’t think we’ve ever gone anywhere without her running into someone she knew. Sometimes she can get a little distracted, but when it comes to loyalty, you won’t find a better lady.

The only problem with being such an amazing attractor, is that you attract everything. Think of this beautiful elegant poodle. Bright, sharp, with a lovely coat. Everyone wants to be near her and bask in her sunlight. But when you put yourself out there at so many events you can’t help but attract a lot of “fleas and ticks” as I call them. I will write about a couple That I have met through Keila, and some of them are just awful people. But… this is not a reflection on Keila, simply a symptom of being famous.

I know in the past she was searching for love. She’s kissed a few frogs. But in the last year or so she has met a really good guy and it looks serious. I know she would like to get married and have children someday. Probably sooner than later.

I introduced her to my cute recruiter Alice, and they really connected. As I said, when Alice formed her own recruiting firm. Keila was her first choice. Keila had worked for several years in event management, so this was a new challenge for her. From backstage at the Tower Theater to running IT networking events and finding great talent, it was a brand new day for Keila.

But two years later, and they are still going strong. Keila is so busy I don’t see her as much as I used to, but I had to think of a good gift idea for a friend of mine, and I text her first. She got back to me immediately and said, “Call me.”

I did, and the problem was solved. We’re supposed to meet up for a drink next week or two to catch up. I look forward to seeing my friend with the big beautiful heart.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every Monday at 9am EST.

I publish new Dating content every Monday at 9am EST. I publish Updates and bios and stories about Non-Dating related characters, such as male and female friends, on Wednesdays at 9am EST.

Michelle – Chapter 2 – Getting to Know You

I know these initial chapters are  short and I’m sure the real Michelle reading them will feel the same. But Just know that this is the beginning of me knowing her. There isn’t much data, because not much was happening in the beginning. But just know these stories will expand and be rich in history once I get to know her. Stay with the story. It gets better.

Michelle began work as an account representative in my department. At first it was kind of weird having her there. We were all a bunch of misfits and she was this really pretty woman who seemed perfect. Why would she want to work with a bunch of miscreants like us? But everyone made her feel welcome. Of course I would chat with her because she was a total babe and I couldn’t help it.

Michelle, is basically an easy-going girl. For someone as tall and beautiful as she is, she doesn’t have analoof  attitude. She’s very approachable and friendly. I have always described her as, “The nicest, beautiful girl, I’ve ever met.” That statement stands true to this day. Many think beauty equals kindness. That is usually not the case. Physically beautiful people get preferential treatment every day.

Beauty is not subjective. Contrary to popular belief, men and women generally agree on who is and who is not physically attractive, even across other cultures.What makes someone enjoyable to look at? High cheekbones, fuller lips, big eyes, and a thin chin are associated with sexiness in women, whereas a big jaw and broad chin are preferred in men. Smooth skin, shiny hair, and facial symmetry are also key aspects of beauty. According to various studies, these provide measures of health, good genes, intelligence, and success. More often than not, the world rewards beauty. Beautiful people are viewed as healthier.

Facial symmetry, considered the beacon of beauty, can be perceived as good health, even if it is not related to actual health. In an Australian study, researchers morphed photographs of young adults so that their faces were perfectly symmetrical. In general, the symmetric version of each face — both male and female — received higher health ratings than the normal image. Individuals with asymmetric faces were perceived as unhealthy.

It’s easier for beautiful people to find mates. Men seek attractive women as mates because good looks signal youth, health, and reproductive fitness. Beautiful people are more persuasive. Good-looking people can use their sex appeal and good looks to be more persuasive, say in a job interview or when asking for a promotion. Attractive people are more persuasive, in part, because they also possess or develop key personality traits — like intelligence and strong social skills — that make them more effective communicators. Researchers also found that compared to unattractive speakers, attractive speakers were much more fluent talkers.

Beautiful people are perceived as more likeable and trustworthy. Beautiful people are typically treated better by others. In a study from Harvard University, researchers found that wearing makeup, shown to enhance a woman’s attractiveness,boosted people’s perception of the subject’s competence, likability, attractiveness, and trustworthiness.

All of that said, when I met Michelle she was just coming into her own. She was breaking internal barriers, emotionally and physically. She had a hard shell that she wore like a suit of armor every day. Not a hard exterior or an attitude, just a barrier to protect her fragile, developing, inner self. She was a confused twenty-seven year old woman. Just trying to figure it all out like every other girl her age. She liked novelty, but loved adventure, sometimes in the fast lane.

Michelle is kind. Like I said, she is a very nice lady. She is also mostly conservative, but liberal in her beliefs. She always comes across as authentic. She doesn’t like bullshit, or those who spew it. She had a strong dislike for fake people or gossips. She does not have the time nor the tolerance to put up with a lot of nonsense, or “give people a lot of chances.” She’s very civic-minded and volunteered at several foundations.

Michelle does love to laugh, drink and smoke cigarettes. She loves to listen to her music. Michelle is always down to party any day of the week. Who doesn’t love a chick that’s willing to take a few chances?

She had told me she had won a trip for two to Greece through the company. Sadly, she had to come up with the money for the hotel or the airfare or something. So it wasn’t really a prize. I don’t know what it was. I asked her who she was going with and she said her ex-boyfriend. They had been together since they were 15 and broke up when she moved to the city a few years ago. (See: Michelle – Chapter 1) I think she had been with him for so long, (I’m sure he was the first one to punch her V-Card, so there’s that.) When you’re with someone like that when you are so young and you’re together for years, that person sort of becomes like family. They were trying to get back together when I met Michelle. She had dated a few guys since coming to Philly, and even had a relationship with a guy that worked at the company for a while. I’ve met him and he’s dumb as a post. He never treated her well simply because he didn’t know how. He liked acquiring her but he couldn’t relate to her and was never compassionate to her. He just didn’t have it in him. He liked hanging at the club with his boys surrounded by bitches and hos. Are you getting the picture? They were like O.J. and Nicole but without the murder. There you go.

So that was a fail. When you fail you go back to the familiar. Michelle migrated back to Delaware Dave. That’s what I’ll call him. But Dave was in Delaware and didn’t like being around crowds, or going out in the city or anything. Me, on the other hand was there in the office with her everyday. I had been away from Philly for many years and loved going out and exploring the city. Actually, back then I was living in a little apartment in Pennsauken NJ. I would commute in every morning. I had not yet become the Dark Lord of the City of Brotherly Love yet in 2008.

One night our department went out to dinner at the Continental on 18th street. I remember me and the retarded guy making room for Michelle to sit next to our boss because it was so obvious he liked her. The dinner was great and the drinks flowed. Michelle had to go and Herbert was super concerned about Michelle’s safety walking home. A little too much. This guy was weak. He was smart and well-educated but when it came to matters of the heart he couldn’t handle himself properly. It felt awkward. So he’s had a few drinks and we’re walking with him and he says: “Guys, I think I’m falling in love with my employee.” This wouldn’t be the first time for family man Herbert. We found out that he once worked for a competitor and had an affair with one of his employees. It didn’t go well and I saw the long scratch from a key down the side of his white 300 series Mercedes. What an idiot. So he ended up leaving that company and coming here. I wonder how he explained that gouge to his wife. Probably blamed it on vandals.

There were days when I would take a seat next to Michelle by her work station and chat with her. She began to open up to me about some aspects of her life. She suffered from some health problems that many don’t understand. Nothing life threatening but troublesome in regard to quality of daily life. I gathered some info from a specialist and passed it along to her. I would sometimes leave her a granola bar as a breakfast snack some mornings. I also bought her lotion because her hands would get dry in the cold weather. Sometimes in the afternoons we would watch funny videos on her computer. She admitted that when she saw clips of people falling down accidentally or from doing stupid activities it really tickled her. So our work friendship was developing. I was just honored to be around this lovely lady.

This was so much better than scuttling down the hallway after her to the billing department.

 

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Alice – The Cute Recruiter

From now on, I will be writing stories about people in my life and publishing them every Wednesday. The stories will vary from friends, family and stories from my life.

Alice came into my life at the end of 2011, when I was looking to get a better job than the one I currently had. I had been there for five years and it was time for a change. She worked as a head hunter for an IT firm. Alice was so deadly at her job she was probably making six figures at age 22. She had brought in several candidates for this particular web-based start-up company that was well-funded. They really didn’t like any of the people they had interviewed, until they had met me. It was a sales job, and that’s what I do.

Alice was super attentive through the entire hiring process. If there was any questions I had she would walk me through them. If I was panicking about salary, she would talk me off the ledge and make sure I would be compensated what I was worth. Probably the most amazing talent recruiter I have ever met.

She is also a beautiful cute little blonde. Loves her Grand Pop, her little nephew and Jesus. Yes, Alice is a rare bird. Deadly in negotiation and talent acquisition, but sweet and proper and a real lady. Not really my cup of tea. I prefer my girls with a touch of evil.

After a few years of working her butt off for someone else, she has since started her own recruitment firm. At 25 she is the CEO of her own company. Her sales and marketing person is my friend Keila. As a matter of fact, I introduced them. They became friends and now they work together everyday to build the firm.

I got them on the cover of a local magazine with my connections. Boy, that was a hell of a week. They even recently bought a little Siamese Fighting Fish and named him after me. I am truly touched. They are usually solitary animals, just like yours truly.

The funny thing is, with all of the aggressive recruiting and negotiating that Alice does everyday, she still has all of the trappings of a 25-year-old girl. She is so mature and wields a sharp sword against even the most arrogant CEO’s but when it comes to dating and boyfriends, it’s just as mixed up as any other girl. It is such a funny paradox.

I work after 8pm some nights and so does Alice. She’s always great with keeping in touch. She’ll hit me up for a drink and we’ll meet and catch up.  I hope I have helped her with some senior advice about men and life, and she has helped me negotiate some employment stuff over the years.

I’m very grateful to have such a wonderful lady in my life as a friend. I feel very fortunate that I have met so many wonderful young people who still think I’m relevant enough to occasionally want to hang out with me.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every Monday at 9am EST.

I publish new Dating content every Monday at 9am EST. I publish Updates and bios and stories about related characters, such as male and female friends and acquaintances on Wednesdays at 9am EST.

June – Runs with Scissors – Midtown Fall Festival Too!

So technically, I said I’d probably not go out with June again. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Is it a 2nd date? It kinda is. I can’t wiggle out of that. I may regret it, but I want what I want and it’ll make for good prose. As you may have read in my last chapter, (Valerie – Date 4) My buddy Johnny wasn’t coming down because he had stuff to do.  We thought it was going to rain but it didn’t, and I really wanted to go to the Midtown Street Festival!

I set it up the date the night before with June. Who I know likes to drink and even though she’s no box of chocolates, she’s fun to be with. So a few days before my morning date with Valerie, I told June about the street festival and how I’d like to go and I’d like her to join me after 2pm if she was available. She agreed and it was on.

I get there, and text her, and within a few minutes we’re together. We hug and agree that we should get a drink. She says, “I’ll get the first round.” ( I am nearly aroused by that statement based on how things have been going on these dates lately.) So I am back at the festival. It’s in full swing now. I ran into a couple of people, but not my friend with the baby son. How funny would it be if he saw me with Valerie at 1pm and June at 3pm?

The drinks were flowing and the festival was great. June is fun to be wit, but again, I’m not feeling the energy. The amazing light is not there. I’m glad that I’m doing all of this and I’m meeting some new people, but the quest will continue. We stopped on Chestnut in front of a whiskey and jazz bar called Time.  There is a good band playing and we’re chatting with some folks around us. I was telling June about a new opportunity in which I’m about to embark. I am telling her about how part of the package is a membership to the Pyramid Club. The Pyramid Club is a private members only club on the 51st floor of the BNY Mellon Center at 18th and Market. It has amazing views and is a great place to take clients. I’m telling her all about it and the last time I was there. A co-worker at my last job had tickets to a New Years Party there, and gave them to me because she was going to something else that night. I reached out to one of the most beautiful women I know to go with me as arm candy. Her name is Sarika. She is Indian and incredibly beautiful and smart. But she is a vacuous, mean-spirited wench that women hate. All of my female friends have warned me about her and my opinion has always been: “She hasn’t done anything to me, so…” But she is trouble. I invited her and she agreed. Normally I hate New Years and any shitshow that involves amateur night, greatest hits drunk people. But it was a nice event and I wanted to look good bringing her with me, and being seen with a beautiful woman. The pictures would have been fabulous. But apparently there was some “confusion” and she “thought” it was some sort of event I could bring a bunch of people to, and she invited some asshole she’s been seeing. I’ve heard all of the stories in regard to this “relationship.” I think he’s enjoying the sex and novelty of being with her but it’s not a match. His family will never accept her. As smart as she is, she’s socially awkward and kind of nerd. Which normally I would find hot. A pretty girl who likes Sci Fi? It should work but it doesn’t. I’ll expand on her when I write her chapter, but I got pissed that she wanted to bring a date to my $80 a plate event. She’s smart, and I was thinking everything that everyone has said about her is true. She’s awful.

So I’m telling June this story and to another two ladies we were hanging with. I finish the story, and within five minutes, this beautiful woman walks by and June says; “I like your jacket” and I look over and it’s Sarika! It was such an uncanny moment that I could never have imagined. June had just gone to the truck next to us to get us drinks and Sarika starts talking to me. I’m half in the bag and she’s says: “What happened New Years?” I just tell her I was in a bad place and it was all a misunderstanding because I’ve had 8 drinks and she looks great as usual. I can’t disrespect June no matter what I feel or where I am in the day. It was a surreal moment. Of all people to show up at that moment. I wish I had been talking about lottery numbers or my last girlfriend and maybe I would summon them all up. June passes me my drink and is on the other side of the table with the other girls. Sarika asks me if  I tried to contact her because she has a new number, and I tell her I haven’t. (which I loved saying)  She asks if she can give me her new number so we can catch up and like the idiot I am, I relinquish my phone. It was weird because even before the story that summoned up this siren, I thought of Sarika earlier that same day, when I went on Facebook. You know how now they show that you have memories with certain people on that day a year ago? Well it came up that I was at a fashion show with Sarika a year ago and it made me think of her. I thought she had moved to another city for her work and Philly was rid of this witch. But no. She’s still here to wreak more havoc and crush the spirits of the people around her. But my mind went one place. This work. Any contact with her will feed this story. And at this moment, my art takes precedence over everything.

I tell her I’m glad we’re cool and that we’ll catch up before the end of the month. I will meet with her, but I will write about her and be truthful about who Sarika really is.  So she moves on and goes back to whoever the hell she’s hanging out with currently at some other table. I explain it away to June and the other girls and they laugh at the mad irony of this moment. I did notice that after that incident June stuck really close to me. She said I should have kissed her in front of Sarika, and I would have done that had I been into her. Which sadly I’m not, and Sarika wouldn’t have given a shit, and would have probably texted me later saying: ” Who was that woman you were with?” Not in jealousy but in: “What were you doing with that old lady?” Like I said, Sarika is a rotten person. And technically sometimes so am I.

June had cooked up a bunch of food the night before, and had to go to some event that night so she had to get her back home. We said goodbye to the girls we had been chatting with, and walked back down through the festival, drinking our way through it of course.

She lives in Washington Square West. It’s a beautiful neighborhood, and she lives on a really great street. We get to her house and we’re out front saying our goodbyes. We’re hugging and kissing. Actually we’re making out. There is some physical activity but it’s her street and I don’t want to disgust her neighbors. However I did enjoy it. I think in that moment, that all of these women may all have a place in my life right now. None of them are “the one” but their sum total keeps me amused and busy. For some reason I find that interesting.

Anyway, I can drink. I can handle myself when it comes to the bottle. I’ve only been sipping IPA’s all afternoon and it would take a lot more than that to bang me up. But, I’m saying goodbye and I’m backing up, and I lose my footing when I step onto this ring of cobblestones that border this tree out front of her house. I fall backward. There is this little metal fence about two feet high around the tree. I destroy that wire fence as gravity takes me back to earth. I don’t technically fall, more like sit back on the fence, crush it, and slide down the tree into the flowerbed around it. June runs down and helps me get up. I look like a stupid drunk. But I swear I’m not. I know what you’re thinking… yea, you are, but I really did just lose my footing and tripped backwards. I’m back on my feet, thanks to June, and we’re trying to bend the little fence back into shape, but it’s ruined. We’re laughing and I dust myself off and assure her I’m not a fall down drunk and I’m really okay. She says: ” You need to text me when you get home safe.”

I walk down to the corner and summon an UBER. I normally wear jeans that are a 32 waist, but they were in the laundry and I had on a dark blue pair of 34 waist jeans. So I have to wear a belt. But the belt I pulled out of my closet, was a really old weathered belt I’ve owned for over 15 years. Well, when I get to the corner I realize that my pants are really loose, because in the fall I have blown out the old buckle on the belt. It’s still attached to the belt but it has released from its connecting piece. So my drawers are super loose and I have to hold them up like some homeless bum. But a very well dressed bum with a lovely french scarf and blazer. I grasp my pants and get into the UBER. I get home in one piece and text her that I’m fine, and everything is good, and that I had a great time with her.

I’m up or maybe 2 hours and realize I am exhausted from all of the walking and drinking of the day and go to bed. I slept for at least 10 hours. When I awakened to go work at the spa I was completely refreshed. I worked the day and felt great. I met with my friend Johnny after 4pm and he and I went to our usual go to: McGincheys. (Which is our beloved home) It’s a filthy dive that has $2.60 wines and $4 bud bottles that Johnny loves. We exchange stories and I tell him all about my weekend and he says he envies my life. We drink, and smoke cigarettes (Yes one of the few bars you can still smoke in here in Philly!) we take turns playing songs on the jukebox and it is the perfect end to an adventurous weekend. He’s a good friend and a decent man despite his love of vice. I tell him what June is like and he says he would love a girl like that. I know June would be wild if I would crack the seal on that one. He says based on what I’ve said I should probably have a good time with her and take her to places like McGlinchey’s. I think he’s right. He says she may even be down for a threesome. We laugh and order another round.

 

Thank you for reading Phicklephilly. Pleas read, like, comment and most of all follow my blog. I publish every Monday at 9am EST.

I publish new Dating content every Monday. I publish Updates and bios and stories about related characters, such as male and female friends and acquaintances on Wednesdays at 9am EST.