Sun Stories – The Most Orange, Crispy Tanning Horror Stories You’ll Ever Read

Dear Dr. Derm, forgive me for what I’m about to say.

So, yeah, “tan me” is way hotter than “pasty-and-pale me.” (And by way hotter, I’m not intimating that I’m incredibly good-looking—or even a little good-looking—it’s about that little bit of bronze that balances out my sometimes ruddy skin, makes my hair look blonder without the $250 highlighting bill and let’s me walk out of the house with some Aquaphor on as lip gloss and nothing else). But, since tanning is universally known to cause bad stuff (hi, cancer), I refrain and instead hit the bottle.

Either way you go, the bottle tan or the UV-ray real thing, getting bronzed often produces the most brutal (and totally hilarious) stories. To wit…

I went tanning before a date once, because I was feeling a little pasty in the dead of winter. I tanned in the buff, and went for the full 15 minutes. Not a good idea when you haven’t seen a ray of sunshine since August. I burnt my butt and my chest. Not cute—and of course it made me pray that the date wouldn’t go that well. The clothes had to stay on!—Nat, 31

My senior year of high school, my friends and I went down to Cancun for spring break. As we basked in the sun, a friend rolled over and asked me if I wanted any of her sunscreen. I told her no, I wanted to wait a little before applying so as to get a little color and said something stupid about my “natively Floridian skin” being able to take the heat. Flash forward to later that night, when my skin had turned bright red and blisters had started to show up across my belly and shoulders. I spent the rest of the vacation wrapped up like a mummy while my friends called “not it” on sharing a bed with me; by the end of the trip, my skin was peeling off in long, clammy sheets and the big joke in the morning was to wake up, find a strip of my skin in bed and guess which body part it had come from as in “Oops! There’s her forearm!” or “Hmmm, I think this is her right flank.” Eleven years later, I’ve had no less than three suspicious moles removed, all in the vicinity of my Cancun burn. Clearly, my “Floridian skin” couldn’t handle the heat.—Janey, 29

I should have listened when the front desk girl winced and recommended five minutes less than what I asked for at Hollywood Tans. I was fried—and had to go to a wedding that night, where I was seeing my ex for the first time since the breakup. Needless to say, it wasn’t the I’m-hot-and-you-so-regret-breaking-up-with-me moment I’d envisioned.—Kat, 30

When I was 12 years old, I wore my first adult bikini ever. It was a J.Crew pink bandeau top with white polka dot bottoms—I have never felt so chic. Granted, this was at a time when my nickname was “tomato on toothpicks” for a reason – I still had a surplus of baby fat in my middle region. Anyhow, my friend and I decided to play some cards which turned into an all-day tournament. By evening, we were burnt to a crisp. That night, when I took off my bikini, I not only had a bright white stripe where my bandeau top had been, but bright white stripes where my stomach rolls had blocked the sun from reaching. For about two weeks, I had a lovely bumble bee, perfectly horizontal-striped pattern from chin to thigh. Talk about shame.—Emily, 29

In college, after going out and having a few drinks I would come back to my room and decide that it was a great time to apply self tanner. Being that this was 10 years ago, the formulas weren’t what they are today—there wasn’t any gradual build up of pretty, golden color a la that Jergens stuff. So, I’d get home, slap it on and go to bed. Not only would I wake up to a hangover the next day—but an orange streaked face and entire body parts without color. Don’t mix booze with bronzer.—Kim, 26

A few years ago, a friend talked me into going tanning. It was the dead middle of winter and I think I was see-through I was so ghostly white. So, we walk up to the reception desk and she’s singing the praises of going tanning—”It feels really nice and warm! You’ll have a tiny bit of color when no one else does. It’s make any zits go away,” blah blah blah. Well, between her and the front desk lady, they had me signed up for the ten-tan package. I’m into this! Yeah, no more zits! The second I get undressed and step into the booth I have a panic attack. Something about the neon-coffin closing on top of me totally wigs me out—I go running, yes really running, from the booth. Couldn’t take it. And that ten-pack never got used.—Sara, 24

And just to prove that guys have their own tanning fiascos, too:

I was maybe 11 when a friend shared his bottle of Beach Boys-brand tanning lotion with me. We were really concerned with being cool and looking tan when the swimming pool opened for the summer and this seemed like the quickest and smartest way to go about it. I faithfully applied the lotion, which looked and felt like sunblock, each day before I spritzed my hair with lemon juice and peroxide. About three days into the experiment, my mother was staring at me from across the dinner table and told me to go wash my face, that I had dirt all over. This seemed weird because I hadn’t been playing in dirt, but being a kid it was very possible that I got dirty somehow—so I followed instructions. This scenario repeated itself the next night and I began to think that just maybe it was my bitchin’ tan she was noticing. The tanning lotion, at this point, had turned my face a rusty red—but not all over, the color was clustered in certain areas of my face, giving me the overall appearance of having competed in a mud pie-eating contest. Coupled with the copper color that my hair was turning, I was cultivating quite the look! Thankfully, mother threw away the tanner, but it took another week or so before all of my face was the same shade again.—Tommy, 31

 

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If You Start Dating Your Best Friend, Remember These 6 Important Things

So, it happened. You caught feelings for your BFF. When a relationship starts out platonic and blossoms into something more, it can be tricky to know how to navigate the shift. But let’s say you’ve done it — you’ve expressed your feelings, you both have a crush, and you decide to take the leap into romantic territory. Yay! When you start dating your best friend, it’s exciting and scary at the same time. You know this person well, and they’re already your go-to pal, but now you also get to make out with them on the reg. What a time to be alive.

As thrilling as it is, though, dating your bestie doesn’t always come as naturally as you might expect. After all, it’s a big change from your former status as “just friends.” When you become romantically involved, your relationship is going to be different than it was before. And it requires some intentional thought as to how you’re going to make things work. “Everything will change,” explains Jennifer B. Rhodes, PsyD. “Expecting it will help you cultivate the flexibility you will need to move through the transition.” It’s important to stay open to change so you can work through it together as a couple.

If you’ve just started dating your best friend, keep the following things in mind to help your relationship thrive.

1. YOU BOTH NEED TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE.

This is important in any new relationship, but especially with BFFs, you risk hurt feelings if one of you wants something more serious than the other does. “Questions such as, ‘Are you monogamous?’ or, ‘Are you entering the murky water of FWB?’ will need to be answered,” says dating coach Julie Spira. “If one wants to have a casual relationship or FWB, and the other is falling in love, it will backfire. Make sure you’re on the same page, and it will help with the bumps on the road.”

2. DEVELOPING A ROUTINE WILL HELP YOU ADJUST.

When you transition from friends into romantic partners, your schedules will need to adapt to meet this shift. Don’t expect that you’ll be spending the same amount of time together as you did when you were friends — it might be more or less, depending on what feels right for both of you. “Do you have a standing date night such as Saturday night, or are you spending the entire weekend together?” Spira wonders. “Once you get in a groove, your relationship will grow like any other.” The sooner you can figure out how often you want to see each other, the easier time you will have settling into the relationship.

3. YOU MIGHT BE TEMPTED TO MOVE TOO QUICKLY.

Unlike dating someone you just met, you already know this person extremely well. It’s a huge plus because you know how to have fun together, but it can also make it feel like your romantic relationship is farther along than it really is. Don’t risk getting too serious too quickly. “Just like every relationship, you need to go through the phases,” Spira explains. “To go from being BFFs to moving in overnight isn’t a good idea.” Remember that even though you have history together, this dating partnership is new for both of you. The more careful you can be about taking your time, the less likely you are to get too deep into something you can’t sustain.

4. YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY WILL BE CURIOUS.

The people in your life know you two as friends, so they’ll need time to adjust to you being a couple. You might not need to introduce your SO to your friends and family (if they already know him or her), but you will need to introduce them as your partner. Be intentional about this. “Let’s not forget about your extended group of friends who will now be seeing you as a couple instead of two close friends,” Spira notes. She says that telling your squad might be scary, but it’s important to do it whenever you feel comfortable.

You can tell them together or separately, whatever feels more natural — but try to emphasize how excited you are for this next step. It doesn’t mean you’ll lose your friendships with them, just that things will be a little different from now on. Your friends should be excited to see you happy, and it’ll help you feel like a more established couple if you get your love out into the open when you’re ready.

5. YOUR COMMUNICATION TACTICS MAY NEED TO SHIFT.

Don’t expect that you’ll be able to communicate the same way you have in the past. Even if you’re accustomed to talking about vulnerable things, the subjects you discuss will change a bit. “The more you can communicate about your needs and desires, the easier it is for your partner to be their best and vice-versa,” Spira says. With BFFs, you don’t need to have conversations about defining the relationship, physical boundaries, or sexual preferences. As partners, these will all become important topics to discuss. Don’t shy away from the tough stuff because you’re nervous about how the conversation will go — instead, consider open communication essential to deepening your bond.

6. STAYING OPEN TO CHANGE IS YOUR KEY TO SUCCESS.

As much as you loved your friendship, you’re starting a new chapter now. And this is going to bring about change — there’s no doubt about it. But if you go in knowing this, you’ll be open to rolling with the transitions as they come. “Don’t take each other for granted,” Spira emphasizes. You’ve been in each other’s lives for a long time, but don’t let that make you complacent! “Allow the relationship to grow in a natural way, and decide together if you’re working towards a future together,” Spira suggests. Just like any other relationship, you’ll grow together in stages, so embrace the process and keep an open mind.

When it’s pursued with intention, dating your best friend can be pure magic. “Having a romantic partner who is your best friend is like winning the love lottery,” Spira says. “Enjoy and savor every moment.” It’s so exciting to take your relationship to the next level, even if it’s not always easy. Remember why you got along so well in the first place, and use that as a foundation to help your romantic life blossom into something even greater.

 

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When Dating Someone Who You Know Is Wrong For You, Remember These 5 Things

Considering that there are around 7.5 billion people in the world, it’s safe to say that you have plenty of viable dating options. But there are lots of reasons why you still might date someone who, deep down, you know isn’t a good match. Maybe you’re blinded by physical attraction. Maybe you’re hoping they will change. Maybe you’re so terrified of being alone, that you’d rather be with the wrong person than be single. Dating someone who you know is wrong for youcan obviously come with quite a few complications, some of which can actually cause some wear and tear on your emotional well-being. That said, who you date, why, and for how long is all up to you and you alone. So, if you’ve decided to keep pursuing a relationship with Mr. or Mrs. Wrong, then you may simply want to keep certain things in mind in order to maintain your sanity and sense of self.

The reality is, you don’t really get to choose who you fall for — that’s simply not how it works. So, if you’ve caught feelings for someone who you suspect isn’t right for you, it makes sense why you’d still be eager to date them, anyway. You can’t shut those feelings off. Fortunately, remembering the following things will help you to stay as realistic as possible about your situation, and moreover, continue looking out for your own well-being first and foremost.

YOU MAY NOT GET THE SEAL OF APPROVAL.

Studio Firma/Stocksy

Particularly if you’ve expressed your concerns about your boo being wrong for you, there’s a chance that you won’t get your family’s blessing or your bestie’s seal of approval to be with them. Maybe that’s not a dealbreaker for you. But for some people, it can definitely cause a strain on the relationship. When you know that your loved ones embrace the person you’re dating, you’ll have an easier time inviting them to holiday gatherings or casual hangouts. On the other hand, if they aren’t a fan of your relationship, things can get a tad awkward — or potentially even stressful.

If the people in your inner circle don’t approve of bae, it’s likely either because they think you deserve to be with someone who’s right for you and don’t want to see you get hurt, or they are picking up on something potentially more worrisome about your partner or relationship that you’re too blinded by love to see. So, you may want to listen to the concerns that your friends and family have about your relationship. That doesn’t mean you have to break up with your boo, but as these people usually have your best interests at heart, it’s certainly worth paying attention to their perspectives.

YOU COULD MISS SOMEONE WHO’S RIGHT FOR YOU.

Jovo Jovanovic/Stocksy

Here’s the thing. When you’re focusing all of your time and energy on a relationship with someone who’s wrong for you, you might miss out on a relationship with someone who’s a better fit.

You may still decide that for whatever reason, it’s worth it to you to see this through right now. And that’s totally OK. Just be aware that you have to make room for someone who is right for you, which you can’t do while you’re still in a relationship with someone who isn’t.

BOUNDARIES ARE KEY.

Jovo Jovanovic/Stocksy

Dating someone you know is wrong for you can be risky. You may start overlooking certain behaviors or letting hurtful actions slide even though they don’t sit well with you. So, if you’re going to keep dating someone even though you know they’re wrong for you, make sure to define exactly what you’re willing to accept, and what you aren’t.

This is where boundaries come in. If you know you’re simply not compatible with bae in terms of your communication habits, that’s definitely important information to be aware of. But that doesn’t make it OK for them to treat you poorly, so if it’s bothering you that they’re neglecting to text you back, or going several days without calling, then you owe it to yourself to be honest with them about it. Better yet, start setting healthy boundaries to protect yourself as much as possible. It can be helpful to keep regularly checking with yourself. Ask yourself: How does this relationship make me feel? Are my wants and needs being met?

THERE’S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INCOMPATIBLE AND TOXIC.

Guille Faingold/Stocksy

A partner who isn’t an ideal match may not be super compatible with you. But a partner who’s emotionally abusive? That’s a whole different ball game.

“Someone who isn’t good for you may also engage in a manipulative form of emotional abuse called gaslighting, in which they deny and invalidate your emotional experiences,” dating coach and author Samantha Burns previouslytold Elite Daily. “They don’t take accountability for their wrongdoing, blame you, and somehow even when you know you’re in the right you wind up apologizing just to smooth things over because you’re uncomfortable with the tension. You then start to tiptoe around conflict and worry more about their feelings than your own.”

Make sure to be on the lookout for red flags that your partner is emotionally abusive, because that’s typically a sign that it’s time to make an exit. The effects of that kind of abuse can last beyond your relationship, and your well-being always takes top priority.

Not only that, but Burns pointed out that dating the wrong person can cause your self-doubt and anxiety to surge, thus making dating more difficult for you down the line. Once again, this is why it’s a good idea to keep checking in with your feelings and be alert to any negative impact that the relationship could be having on your emotional or mental health.

YOU CAN’T CHANGE ANYONE.

Jesse Morrow/Stocksy

Are you continuing to date the wrong person for you because you’re hoping they’ll eventually be right for you? The reality is, there’s no guarantee that your boo will change. Certainly, when someone is motivated to focus on self-improvement, they can achieve that. But if they’ve never expressed an interest in changing, and you’re hoping they’ll magically transform into the right person for you, then you may need a reality check.

Be honest with yourself about whether you can be happy with this person as they are, whether that includes commitment fears, trust issues, or conflicting values. Otherwise, you may be falling in love with their potential, not the person they truly are.

Dating someone who’s all wrong for you (yet oh so right) is, in a word, complicated. You may feel internally conflicted about pursuing a romance that isn’t necessarily a perfect fit, for whatever reason. And that’s totally normal, not to mention understandable. Ultimately, only you can decide if this is a relationship that’s still worth pursuing. I’m a firm believer that all dating experiences are valuable in some way or another, so as long as your safety or well-being are not at risk, then there’s no reason why you can’t learn from or grow with someone who isn’t quite a good match. Most importantly, don’t forget that you are fully worthy of fulfilling love — regardless of whether someone is right or wrong for you.

 

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8 Tricks That Will Help You Recognize a Liar

Most likely, you have already faced brazen liars who are always looking for someone to fool. But exposing a lie is not as difficult as it may seem. Analyst and body language expert Dr. Lillian Glass says, ’If someone is dishonest, you need to pay special attention to the facial expression and body language of your interlocutor.’ She wrote a book about this called ’The Body Language of Liars.’

Eight tricks that will help you recognize a liar

When you ask a direct question and your interlocutor begins to spin their head, it’s better to keep your eyes peeled: perhaps this person’s lying about something.

Eight tricks that will help you recognize a liar

When someone is nervous and at the same time trying to fool you, their breathing becomes heavy, their voice goes quiet, and their shoulders rise.

Eight tricks that will help you recognize a liar

It’s ok to feel relaxed in a normal conversation with a familiar person, but if your interlocutor looks too stressed, it may be a warning sign. In general, a liar’s trying to keep you at a distance so you do not suspect anything.

Eight tricks that will help you recognize a liar

This happens because they’re trying to convince not only you but also themselves. Repetition gives you time to gather your thoughts. Also, people who aren’t willing to tell the truth might answer the question in the same words. For example: ’Did you break the cup?’ ’No, I didn’t break the cup.’

Eight tricks that will help you recognize a liar

The eyes can tell a lot about people, including whether they’re telling the truth. Constant eye contact is very important to liars. If your interlocutor looks insightfully into your eyes and tries to maintain eye contact in every possible way, be sure that this person wants to fool you.

Eight tricks that will help you recognize a liar

Among other signals that the interlocutor’s trying to lie is when he or she is biting or pursing their lips. Such a person is clearly not sure what he or she wants to say. In these moments, salivation is decreased, resulting in dryness in the throat, and this makes them swallow and purse their lips. Also, it’s better to keep an eye on their smile: it’s always easy to notice an artificial smile.

Eight tricks that will help you recognize a liar

Hands are the indicator of a person’s honesty. Therefore, if someone’s constantly touching their neck or trying to hide weak spots — as if he or she is trying to defend themselves — this person definitely wants to hide something.

Eight tricks that will help you recognize a liar

Even without realizing it, a liar prevents themselves from speaking. When people touch their lips, it means they don’t want to tell the truth, almost as if they are forbidding themselves to speak.

 

 

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If You’re About To Start Dating Someone Your Friends Don’t Like, Remember These 6 Things

Introducing someone you’re dating to your friends can be a really nerve-wracking experience — especially if you’re really into this new person. I’ve been in situations where my friends instantly took a dislike to the person I was dating (they usually ended up being right about them, by the way) and it was an all-around stressful situation. When you’re dating someone your friends don’t like, it can feel like you have to compartmentalize your life, and like you’re always playing interference between the two parties — trying to keep the peace and make everyone happy. So, yeah, not great.

While this scenario is far from ideal, Connell Barrett, founder of Dating Transformation and executive dating coach, tells Elite Daily it’s not uncommon. “It would be great if all your friends liked your romantic partner, but that’s not how people are wired. Some of us just don’t jive with others. And chances are you haven’t liked everyone that they’ve dated either. You can’t please everyone all of the time, and that includes your BFFs,” he says. Here’s what the experts suggest you keep in mind if you’re newly dating someone your friends just do not like, no matter how hard you try to get them to vibe.

1. REMEMBER: YOUR OPINION OF YOUR PARTNER IS THE ONE THAT COUNTS THE MOST.

While your friends’ input does matter, Erica Gordon, millennial dating expert, founder of The Babe Report, and author of Aren’t You Glad You Read This?, tells Elite Daily it’s important not to let your feelings get lost in the mix. “Remember that the most important opinion about your partner is your own. You’re the one who knows your partner best, not your friends. You’re the one who will have the best instincts regarding your partner,” she explains.

Barrett agrees, saying you shouldn’t feel like you can only date people your friends approve of. “Your friends are entitled to their feelings, but that doesn’t mean you need to stop dating your new significant other. You can agree to disagree while staying great friends. And hey, it’s not their job to love your partner. That’s your job,” he says. “You’re the one dating this person, not them. If your new partner makes you happy and treats you well, that’s the most important thing.”

2. THEY MAY SEE SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT SEEING.

While your opinion about the person you’re dating is the most important, it doesn’t hurt to take their feelings into consideration, says Barrett. After all, they have a unique perspective on the relationship. “They might have good reasons for not liking your SO. Listen and see if they have a point. It doesn’t mean you have to dump the person,” he explains. “But new love can blind us from people’s faults. Maybe your friends think you’re not being treated well enough, or that your new partner could improve their behavior in some way.”

Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again, tells Elite Daily there’s a good chance you may not like what they have to say. After all, who wants to hear negative things about someone they like? However, Dorell says it’s important to keep an open mind and try not to be be defensive until you’ve heard them out. “Find out why your friends don’t like your new [partner] — come from a space of receptivity and listen, even though it may seem really hard to listen objectively,” she advises.

3. REMEMBER HOW YOU MAY BE CONTRIBUTING TO THE WAY YOUR FRIENDS FEEL ABOUT THEM.

If you’re not sure why your friends don’t like the person you’re dating, Gordon says to consider if you’ve had a role in shaping their perception of them. “Remember that sometimes, the reason friends don’t like your partner is because you vent to them a lot anytime you have an argument with your partner, or anytime your partner does something that bothers you,” she explains. “This can paint an negative picture of your partner in your friends’ minds, and if you don’t want to do that, be sure to remember to talk about your partner’s good qualities when discussing him or her to your friends as well.”

4. REMEMBER TO TREAT YOUR FRIENDS WITH LOVE AND RESPECT.

It can be frustrating when your friends don’t like the person you’re dating, but Barrett says it’s important to remember that your relationship with them is also important, and that they likely have your best interests at heart. “You want to guard against feeling defensive or angry, which can hurt your friendships. Rather, be grateful that your BFFs are looking out for you,” explains Barrett. “Part of the deal of having close friends is receiving advice and feedback about your dating life. Even if you don’t agree with them, they mean well. Don’t let resentment creep in. It will only hurt your friendships,” he warns.

5. REMEMBER TO ALWAYS CONSIDER THE SOURCE.

While ideally your friends’ issues with the person you’re dating are coming from a good place, friendships can be complicated, so Dorrell warns you take the source into consideration. “Friends who have issues with the person may be coming from a place of envy or jealousy and you can have a conversation with them about why specifically they don’t like the person,” she suggests. “That could give them space to share and also for you to see if their comments are coming from a warranted space.”

6. REMEMBER TO TRUST YOUR GUT.

Ultimately, Gordon says the most important thing is to trust your own instincts — they are your best guides in this situation. “If you know in your heart that you are head-over-heels for your partner, don’t let the opinions of friends sway you. Don’t let them get in your head, because you shouldn’t let anyone interfere with your relationship or with your feelings,” she says.

Hopefully, you’ll never be in a situation were you find yourself stuck between your friends and the person you’re dating. If you do, however, Barrett closes with a final bit of advice: “Be respectful of [your friends’] feelings and understand that their misgivings are coming from a good place. At the same time, you can’t live your life according to their blueprint for you. You have to follow your own path.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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If You’re Going To Start Dating Someone You Have History With, Remember These 4 Things

Dating is complicated enough when you’re getting to know someone new. Now add in the fact that you’ve had some history the person you’re dating, and it gets even more interesting. Whether you hooked up a few times back in college or went on a date years ago, your previous experiences together are bound to come into play as you enter this new phase of your relationship. So, if you start dating someone you have history with, there are certain things you’ll want to keep in mind.

When you have a history with someone, there’s a degree of understanding between you. That means that hopefully, you can relax a bit on those early dates and just be yourself. As an added bonus, there may be no need for awkward small talk because chances are, you already know a bit about each other. On top of that, you may find that there’s a sense of trust with this person. However, if you had kind of a rocky past, you may also have some lingering feelings of awkwardness or regret that can leak into your new relationship.

Dating someone you have history with definitely has its pros and cons. But as long as you’re aware of all the potential perks and pitfalls, you can embark on this new chapter together with confidence. Here are some things to keep in mind, depending on what kind of history you have together.

IF YOU WENT ON A DATE OR TWO

Lauren Naefe/Stocksy

Maybe you went on one date months back, and despite the fact that it was hilariously horrible, you’ve decided to give it another shot. Maybe you went on a few dates that were mediocre, and there simply wasn’t enough of a spark to see it through. Regardless, if you’ve already been on a date or three with your new bae, don’t get too caught up in why it didn’t work out last time around.

Timing is everything in relationships, and perhaps there were certain factors impacting your compatibility that are no longer in play anymore. For example, one of you may still have been hung up on an ex or stressed out with work. The important thing is that now, you’re both interested in giving this connection a real shot. While you can certainly use what you already learned about your crush on previous dates to your advantage, try to approach this new relationship with as much of a clean slate as you can muster. The important thing is not why it didn’t work out before, but rather, why it is working now.

IF YOU HAD AN OFF-LIMITS CRUSH

VICTOR TORRES/Stocksy

So, you used to have a crush on bae when they had a girlfriend. Or perhaps you were lusting after them while you were coworkers on a tight-knit team at your company. Basically, your new boo used to be off limits for some reason. But for whatever reason, they aren’t anymore. First off, congrats! There’s nothing more satisfying than finally going out with someone you’ve been fantasizing for basically forever — especially when there’s no longer anything holding you back or causing you any guilt or shame about it.

Speaking of which, a crucial thing to work on in this scenario is avoiding holding on to those negative emotions that you attached to your initial crush. You may still have lingering awkward feelings from when you were crushing hard on this person and they weren’t available to you. If you continue to associate those feelings with your bond, they may end up taking a toll on this new relationship. In order to let go of them, it may help to hash them out with your boo. Openly admitting to them that you used to like them back when they were your manager at the office, or dating an acquaintance of yours, may give you a sense of relief, and odds are they’ll be flattered. In fact, you may be surprised to learn that the feelings were mutual. Then, you can focus on your future together rather than getting stuck on any “forbidden fruit” vibes from the past.

IF THEY WERE A FWB

ADDICTIVE CREATIVES/Stocksy

Ah, the FWB relationship. For some, no-strings-attached sex with a trusted friend is ideal at certain points in life — like when you’re super swamped with work or just out of a relationship, and can’t handle anything serious. There’s definitely nothing wrong with having a FWB. But what happens when that person becomes your full-on bae down the line?

There are plenty of perks to this scenario. For one, you already have established a friendship, so you probably have a solid sense of trust, quality communication, and emotional safety, between the two of you. Plus, you’ve already hooked up, so you already know the sexual chemistry is there. All of those things are pretty critical in a relationship, so basically, you have a head start. However, transitioning into a relationship does require some special considerations. The key here is to set some new expectations and boundaries so that you don’t slip back into your FWB ways. What will change now that you’re in a committed relationship together? What will make you both feel secure as you enter this new phase? Openly sharing your needs, wants and concerns will ensure that you and your boo are on the same page. And as a result, that will help to minimize the chances that either of you gets unnecessarily hurt.

IF YOU HAD A ONE-NIGHT STAND

Marc Bordons/Stocksy

Whether you met at a bar, on an app, or at your bestie’s house party, if you had a one-night stand or a few random hookups with the person you’re starting to date, that can certainly add a unique layer to your relationship. After all, you’ve already seen each other naked. Maybe you’ve even managed to help each other cross the finish line (*fingers crossed*). But now that you’re pursuing a relationship with this person, you may have some nagging feelings of awkwardness. Will they remember what your “O face” looked like? Is it weird that you’re going on a first date with someone that you’ve already slept with? While I can’t answer the first question, I can clear up the second: No. There’s nothing strange about turning a casual hookup into a relationship. In fact, people do it all the time.

One thing to remember is that you’ve already established that you have sexual chemistry. So now, it’s time to explore whether you have a genuine intellectual and emotional connection. As such, it’s a good idea to plan real dates in the beginning — you know, the kind where you go out in public and experience new things together. These experiences will spark meaningful conversations, and those convos will offer up new insight into your compatibility outside of the bedroom. That’s not to say you have to wait to hook up with your potential bae. It’s up to you when you decide to get frisky again, and there’s no right or wrong timeline where that’s concerned. However, it’s important to make an effort to get to know each other in different contexts as well. That way, you can ensure that your budding relationship has a strong foundation that doesn’t solely depend on mind-blowing sex (not to minimize the value of that factor).

Having a history with someone can also muddle your feelings a bit. Depending on your previous experiences with this person, you may feel like you fall faster for them than you normally would, or conversely, like you’re guarding your heart more carefully. Remember — your history can actually prove to be beneficial to this new relationship you’re pursuing. As long as you maintain open communication about your feelings, set clear expectations with each other, and focus on building on the foundation you’ve already established, you’re primed to ensure that your past together only has a positive impact on your present.

 

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Sun Stories: Summer – Astonished – Part 3 – Update

 

UPDATE: They’ve run a battery of tests on Summer and the baby. They have determined that the child is fine and there are no problems that they can see. So that’s wonderful news for now.

Summer is a straight A student, but hates to do all the homework they assign the students. She simply pays someone else to do it, then goes in and crushes the exams.

Leave it to this bright, cunning, lovable, repugnant, remorseless girl dodge 9 months of pregnancy. She’s having the baby in 3 months. She’s been pregnant for 6 months. So to her since she found out, she’ll only have to stay sober for 3 months in stead of 9 because 6 of those months are behind her. So to her it feels like a 3 month pregnancy and then boom, baby.

When her father heard the news that the child seemed perfectly healthy, he said “My daughter’s got an Iron Placenta.” (Sounds like a good name for a Death Metal band)

Her mother is already super excited to be a grandmother at 47. These people are rich, that child isn’t going to want for anything. I just pray that it’s okay health and developmentally in it’s formative years.

 

Oh, by the way… It’s a boy.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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