Dust for Life was a post-grunge band from Memphis, Tennessee formed in 1999.
Formation and initial success
After the dissolution of the Memphis grunge band Bacchanal, Jason Hughes recruited three members from the local Memphis rock band Spaceman to form DFL.[1] Chris Gavin of the band Burning Blue was added and became the second main songwriter of the group.[2]
In late 1999, DFL self-released a nine-track eponymous album.[3] Then in April 2000, DFL recorded four songs (“Step into the Light”, “Dirt into Dust”, “Dragonfly”, and “Where the Freaks Go”) at Ardent Studios. This demo was overnighted to Jeff Hanson, manager of the band Creed, and they were subsequently signed to Wind-Up Records.
In October 2000, DFL released a second eponymous album containing all new songs with the exception of two re-recorded songs from their 1999 album. The album reached No. 26 on the Billboard Heatseekers chart. Two singles from the album also charted. In 2001, drummer Rick Shelton left DFL to join Course of Nature.[4]
In May 2001, DFL discovered its publishing money had been spent frivolously by their management and subsequently released the company. In July, they parted ways with Wind-Up Records due to contractual elements not being honored.[5] At the end of the year, Jason Hughes also released an album with the band Third Harmonic Distortion.[6] In early 2002, DFL embarked upon a headlining national tour with Tantric.[5] The song “Poison” was used in the movie Dragonball Z Cooler’s Revenge.
Separate ways and reformation
After taking a break, the band’s two primary songwriters (Hughes and Gavin) began work on the band’s next release in July 2003.[7] Later that year, DFL self-released an eight-song EP titled Degrees of Black.
Eventually DFL went on an indefinite hiatus. Chris Gavin formed the band Memphis Sound. Vocalist Jason Hughes formed the band Dark Things with Saving Abel guitarist Scott Bartlett in late 2006 with the intention of releasing an album on Warner Bros. Records.[8] Yet the project never came to fruition. Instead, Hughes and Gavin announced on their MySpaceblog in 2007 that DFL was to begin recording new material.[9] In April 2008, the band released The Consequence Of Vanishing.[10] Scott Bartlett was featured on the album.[11] Hughes announced a line of clothing based on the title of the song “Dark Things Betray”.[12] The song “Release The Flood” was used by TNA Wrestling as the theme song for Slammiversary (2008).[13]
Another indefinite hiatus
In 2009, Jason Hughes released an album with the band Driving Eternity.[14] The band later changed its name to Driving Into Eternity and released a 5-song EP in 2010.[15]
Chris Gavin currently plays in the bands Kings Trio, White Noise Theory, and the cover band Hi-Fi Allstars.[16][17] In 2009, White Noise Theory released his first full-length album, Self Titled. The album consists of some tracks from the Degrees Of Black album. In April 2011, White Noise Theory released Dust, a collection of re-recorded DFL songs. In 2011, he released his third album Soul Of The Machine. All albums were released digitally.
DFL is presumably on another indefinite hiatus as their current projects list them as former members of DFL and dustforlifemusic.com is inactive.
So sad… I loved this band.
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Adam Schlesinger, one of the most prolific and decorated songwriters of his generation, died Wednesday from complications caused by COVID-19. He was 52.
His death was confirmed to NPR by his lawyer, Josh Grier.
With former songwriting partner Chris Collingwood, Schlesinger enjoyed his greatest commercial success as a musician with Fountains of Wayne, which released five studio albums between 1996 and 2011. In 2003, “Stacy’s Mom” was a hit for the band; that song later helped Fountains of Wayne land a pair of Grammy nominations. But Schlesinger also kept busy outside Fountains of Wayne, even during its commercial peak: He played in Ivy (whose six albums came out more or less concurrently with Fountains’ output), Tinted Windows (a short-lived power-pop project with Taylor Hanson of Hanson, Bun E. Carlos of Cheap Trick and James Iha of The Smashing Pumpkins) and the synth-pop group Fever High. He also produced albums for many other artists.
Schlesinger’s career extended well beyond his work in bands. He had a hand in many of the songs that populated the critically beloved TV series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and he won three Emmys — one for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and two, both with David Javerbaum, for co-writing songs performed in Tony Awards telecasts. With Javerbaum, Schlesinger was nominated for two Tonys (both for 2008’s Cry-Baby) and won a Grammy for A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!.
A versatile songwriter with a gift for straddling genres and musical eras, Schlesinger wrote frequently for film, with credits ranging from three songs in the romantic comedy Music and Lyrics to the Oscar-nominated title track to Tom Hanks’ 1996 film That Thing You Do!.
Tributes began appearing on Twitter as news of Schlesinger’s death circulated. Javerbaum described Schlesinger as “a brilliant songwriter, musician, collaborator and friend,” adding, “You enriched millions of lives with your boundless creativity, none more than mine.”
David Javerbaum
✔@davidjaverbaum
Adam, you were a brilliant songwriter, musician, collaborator and friend.
Gorgeous melodies spun out of you like silk through a loom.
You enriched millions of lives with your boundless creativity, none more than mine.
“When playing billiards with my father he always said… “Don’t just make the shot that’s in front of you, son. Think of where the cue ball is going to land AFTER you hit the ball you want in the pocket. That way you’ll be ready for your next shot. And the one after that…”
If you write a blog and you’re reading this, you know we always write ahead. Just to beat the deadlines of our own publication. I’m a huge fan of planning and staying ahead of what I want to publish here.
But tonight, I’m just going to write something for right now.
This is new to us. We’ve lived through 9/11. As terrible as that was 20 years ago, it happened to other people. It was an isolated incident that changed America forever. When I say ‘other people’ I mean the rest of the country watched in horror at the events that unfolded on TV that day, but we lost nearly 3,000 lives. (2,977 to be exact.)
We’d never seen anything like it. The worst attack on US soil in the short history of our country.
But today’s different.
A virus that’s transmitted from person to person like a cold. We’ve all caught colds, had the flu, stomach viruses, etc.
But nothing like this.
A virus so strong that it’s easily transmitted and passes between people. No animals are affected by this virus.
Just humans.
This is just a taste of how fragile our existence is on this planet.
I don’t know where this came from, but hopefully we’ll find out, and create a vaccine for it.
But for right now, we’re all behaving very well in the first few days of this quarantine.
I tell my stories here about all of my dating foibles and relationships on this blog. I’ve been a decent dad and a fun boyfriend, but when comes to domestic relationships, I’ve never been able to submit.
I appreciate all of the friend and fan support on here, but as I dish out all of the dating and relationship advice, I’ve found that very thing quite the quandary.
I give advice on what to do on a date and how to maintain your relationships.
I’m good at that. I like to write words and lyrics.
But words are hollow unless applied to deeds.
I’d like to believe that my words mean something, and maybe make a small difference in the lives of the people that take the time to read this blog everyday.
And for that, I’m grateful.
For the moment, I’m employed by a restaurant in this city. So is my daughter, Lorelei. We’re both in the hospitality industry.
I worked last week. It was business as usual. We were gearing up to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, and March Madness was on the way. We should have made a bundle last weekend. A payday so big it would have covered the last two months of winter.
But none of that happened. No one came in. No crazy drunken crowds of people wearing green, or funny beads, or fighting, getting shitfaced for no reason, and throwing up in plastic hats at the curbside.
None of it.
Are they all so broken that they need to drink to the point of illness to celebrate the dissatisfaction and mediocrity of their lives here in Philly on a designated day?
Nothing happened.
Nah, something did indeed happen.
Covid-19.
Saturday I normally work from 2pm until at least 11pm. I came in at 5pm and was cut at 8:30pm. It was so slow that even being scheduled was a gift from the owner. When I got there, he told me I was off on Sunday. Normally, I work from 12:30pm to 10:30pm. But I was off. I haven’t had a Sunday off since August of 2019.
Monday I was scheduled to come in at 10:30am and work until 10:30pm. My typical Monday is a twelve hour day on my feet. I don’t mind. I like to work and be busy.
But by Sunday night, I was told not to come in until 4pm that day.
By 2pm I was told not to come in at all.
Off again.
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and now today… Friday.
Still off.
Why?
Because every restaurant in this city has been closed for the next 14 days because of what’s happened. I was on the phone with a friend when my daughter called and told me she wouldn’t have to go into work for the next two weeks.
I told her the same.
I’ve had my share of struggles financially in the past and also with employment. Many times by my own design.
But this was different.
Everyone in the entire industry was affected.
I think they told us two weeks so we wouldn’t lose our minds. But I don’t see this ending anytime soon.
Restaurants can only do pick up and take out. No one is allowed to hang out in any bar or restaurant in this city.
That leaves most places with scheduling one cook, a clerk to ring up and take out orders, and a delivery guy.
That’s it.
The rest of us are fucked.
Well, we’re all currently fucked.
One of my brokerage accounts is down over $7k. Bills and rent are due. So yea, if my little life is an example… then yea, we’re fucked.
Forget me for a second. Think of the people that already have the virus.
How about the people that have it and don’t know it?
But are we?
Let me take a moment as the phicklephilly guy that you’ve been reading for the last 4 years to say a few things about this.
We’re all stuck at home and can’t go out. Income is either running out or is gone. I don’t expect to be paid anymore from my current employer. I think this could go on for awhile. But here’s what I’m thinking about, and I’m going to share it with you all.
If you have your health right now, embrace it and help others that need you.
I know that sounds a bit cliche, but hear me out…
Call or text all of your friends and loved ones today and through this weekend. Just check on them. This is the perfect opportunity for you to connect and reconnect with everyone you know. It won’t be weird. Don’t make it weird. Just call and check on them. This is your perfect opportunity. Because for the first time in the history of this country, we are all experiencing the same thing.
This is what we have in common right now.
Exactly the same thing.
The enemy is the virus. Not a man, or a country, or a race, or an idea, or a religion. This enemy doesn’t care about your race or your religious beliefs. A virus is a living entity that wants to take you over for the last time.
As a species we’ve been a scrappy lot. We’ve successfully moved to a spot that isn’t even in the food chain anymore because we’re so good at killing everything.
We are the best and the worst thing that Earth has ever known.
But we’ve made it ours and for now, Earth is where we’re hangin’.
This is an opportunity.
Right now you have your health.
Appreciate that.
Got laid off from your job? Cut your hours? Not allowed to come in because of the virus?
Use this opportunity to plan.
Humans have always been great planners. That’s how we beat everything else. Plan for the rest of your life. You’re alive now. What if you get it and you die?
Embrace this time. This forced quarantine. Think! What are you grateful for? Do you really like that job you’re currently not having to go to?
I’m a writer. I’m always planning the next few chapters in anything I’ve ever written here.
When playing billiards with my father he always said… “Don’t just make the shot that’s in front of you, son. Think of where the cue ball is going to land AFTER you hit the ball you want in the pocket. That way you’ll be ready for your next shot. And the one after that…
After that…
After this.
This global pandemic.
That is some scary shit.
I’m actually surprised in the moment that I write this. The the films, Outbreak and Pandemic are very popular on Netflix. Oh, the irony of our own fate! I’ve always been a huge fan of Art imitates life, imitates art.
There’s no anarchy.
Not yet.
I’ve been off work for over 5 days now and I haven’t had this much free time in years.
Monday I went to breakfast, wrote, talked with friends and loved ones, had dinner, and watched my shows. I, for once… had nowhere to be.
Tuesday, pretty much the same.
Wednesday, More of that just living and breathing thing. Daughter came home. I was happy to see her. She went to the supermarket and bought a bunch of food. She cooked dinner for the two of us and we actually sat and ate, and chatted like a real family.
It was elegant and beautiful.
We never do that.
We work in the industry and pass in the night, and crash here.
But for the first time in a very long time, we actually sat down as a family and broke bread together.
Lorelei made an amazing stromboli from scratch. She’s vegan, so she made it that way. But for the life of me I couldn’t tell, and it tasted so delicious, I went back for seconds!
That wouldn’t have happened if not for today’s circumstances.
Embrace that. Your partner. Your children. Your health. Yourself.
(ok… here we go)
You beat 250 million other sperm to get to here.
You were racing for your mom’s egg, and there were 249,999,999 dudes chasing you.
You got there FIRST.
You won.
Embrace and appreciate that. You’re partner, your children, your friends, your employer… everybody you’ve ever met got here the same way.
You’ve earned your right to be here on Earth today.
Embrace what’s good in your life right now. We all have the same problems at different degrees in this life.
But in this moment… Today. You are reading this and I hope you’re okay. If my blog suddenly stops you’ll know Capt. Trips got me. (look it up!)
Be thankful everyday for your health.
Surround yourself with good people. (But no more than 10, okay? Just for now!)
Find something to do. If you’re home, find something to do with your free time. For a workforce that’s accustomed to working themselves too long and too hard, you may find this sudden stop a bit jarring.
Are you in love? Are you feeling loved? If you have it, embrace that. It’s the strongest force in the galaxy.
No love? Stop lying. Somebody’s worried about you right now. Give them a call. This is your opportunity to forget the past. All bets are off. You can call anyone, ex, old flame, enemy, frenemy…. reach out and just check on them.
I’m going to call and check on my landlord. Who knows, maybe my diplomatic charm will get her to slide me a free month during this crisis.
Think of all of the projects and other thing you’ve been saying you want to do. But you never have any time to do any of them because you’re always working, and when you have free time you need to rest from the life of work you don’t even really want.
Go clean your house. It’s Spring! Clean up. Get rid of stuff. Have fun. Take a nap. Have a drink. Smoke some grass. Call your mom.
Have something to look forward to. Remember what I said about planning? This is your opportunity to plan for the future.
The world is on pause right now.
(I wish the fucking Dow Jones was on pause right now!)
Take this time to do whatever you want. Lean into your free time.
My goal is to crack off 3 volumes of Crazy Dating Stories by the weekend. And I’m going to fucking do it.
All I do is cry about how I don’t have anytime to write because I work so many hours.
I have no excuse now.
And neither do you.
Do something. Anything. Try something new. Even if it’s you having the ability to be at home alone in the quiet of your own mind and just take a break.
Here’s your break from everything.
I’ve been walking the city. This is MY city. I’ve walked it’s streets. Drank it’s wine. Danced with it’s women. Taken my share of the money that’s available here. (In my jobs, you idiots!)
The city is deserted. Sure, there are some people and kids about. Folks out walking their dogs, but it’s different right now.
It’s like nothing any of us have ever seen in our lifetimes.
I’d like everyone that reads this today to contact just one person you haven’t spoken to in awhile. It’s not like you won’t have anything to say to them! We’re all experiencing the same thing right now as a species.
You can do it!
I’d like to see some comments about this idea and what you folks did.
I have a translator widget on this blog so no one has an excuse to not do it.
Contact someone, and write your results in the comments section.
Stay safe people.
“Don’t be the tree that falls and makes no sound.” – Phicklephilly
Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.
Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!
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“Love at first swipe! One man’s story of returning to Philadelphia in search of the perfect girlfriend. Will he succeed or fail miserably in his quest to find love in this city? This is a funny and sometimes heart wrenching tale of a man trying to navigate the pitfalls of the modern dating world in the city.”
Hey readers and beloved followers!
I know I sent a message out a year and a half ago telling everyone my book was going to be published on Amazon. They said it takes 72 hours to review and create. That was almost 2 years ago.
I called Amazon Kindle last week and spoke with a charming woman named Teresa and she assured me that they would look into the problem. I loved it when she looked at my account and said my name and the title of the book. It was so nice to hear the title of my book announced over the phone by someone I never met.
Well, I just got word that I just published Phicklephilly, The Book… on Amazon! (for REAL this time. I promise!) And the craziest irony of all is, it was published on Valentine’s Day!How fitting!
The book is available for online purchase currently, in kindle and paperback editions.
Please buy my book. Know the secrets that are coming up in the blog before they happen! Will I find true love in the city of Philadelphia? All will be revealed in the book.
There will be more books. I believe this could be the beginning of an ongoing series!
Thank you all for reading, commenting, and especially following my odyssey of romance!
Thanks to all of you for your support! (Yes! Finally reached my 2020 goal!)
Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.
Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!
Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!
I recently published my end of the year (end of the decade) post for New Years. I sort of covered everything that was happening, and everything that’s going to happen in 2020. (Don’t worry. I’m sure there’ll be plenty of surprises!)
I had hoped to end 2019 with 100,000 page views but we fell short before the new year. (We hit 50,000 around Christmas of last year) But I could see with the way things were going that I’d probably hit 100,000 by January of 2020.
Well, here we are!
I suppose I should start by thanking everyone that has supported me since the beginning back in 2016.
First of all, to all of my loyal subscribers I owe you all a debt of gratitude. I really appreciate you taking the time to sign up and receive the daily emails to read my blog. Without you guys I’d probably still be struggling. Knowing there were those out there that cared enough to subscribe meant the world to me.
Then there are all of my regular daily readers. I love all of you too! Koolkosherkitchen, Joliesattic, Righteousbruin9, Ajeanneinthekitchen, porngirl3, Sdeden, just to name a few. You guys rock! I love what you all do and appreciate your words on a weekly basis. Always great comments and thoughts to inspire me.
I’m thinking back now…
All of the failed dates in the beginning. Valerie, June, Katsumi, Scarlett, Carol, Lizzie… You’re all part of this journey. I’m way beyond swiping right or left on anyone now, but I had to do those things to get me here. I appreciate you all for going on dates with me. I’m no box of chocolates anymore and you were all lovely women. I hope you have all found love and are happy now.
I also want to thank the following:
Maria: The kindly waitress who inspired me to start writing about how I felt about her and start this blog. Maria definitely had a certain something that inspired me to write about her. A great girl who struggles with herself but resilient as hell. I hope she’s doing well and has found a suitable career!
Rocco: My co-worker at the newspaper who always said that I should write about all of these women in my life. Rocco is doing well and now works in real estate. I hope you’re well and happy, Sir! I miss our lunches together.
Church: Thank you for your friendship. You’ve been the inspiration for me to start writing dating and relationship advice back in 2017. As difficult as it is to constantly come up with new subjects to write about it’s become the foundation of phicklephilly as a viable daily publication. On top of all that, you’ve always been a great friend of mine and a cheerleader for my cause. I appreciate you getting it, and supporting me in all of my crazy adventures. Let’s make some new ones in this new decade, buddy! Thank you! (Church just started his own blog recently and I’m sure if he sticks with it, it’ll be a smash!)
Crazy women and toxic people: I appreciate you giving me the foresight to know what I want and what I don’t want in my life. I’ve written about all of you and I hope you’re doing well wherever you all are. The sex was great! Just steer clear of me!
Michelle: Thank you, dear. I never hear from you anymore and I understand why. (Married and baby) You were the love of my life and the very first series I accepted the challenge to compose. I know those stories don’t even begin to scratch the surface of what we had in our relationship, but I will never forget you. Thank you for loving me.
Annabelle: hmm… You get zero fucks, Miss.
Cherie: When I started this blog about dating and relationships I got back into the dating scene after several years of being absent. But within 6 months of its inception, you came into my life. How can I write a dating blog if I have a girlfriend? Well, 60 chapters later and here we are. I appreciate you giving me your heart.
James: Hey, best friend in Philly! I’ve shared so many great times with you. All of our talks, drinks, stories and love of movies is always a blast. You throw the best parties and are one of my favorite people in the world. Thank you for your friendship.
Kita: Thank you for coming into my life. You showed me that I could still get worked up about a new love. We were never really a thing, but I appreciate what you were to me on a weekly basis. I know the relationship was pretty much one sided but I didn’t mind. I was just happy to hang out with you! Our little encounters where absolutely electric and I wish you well, dear!
Johnny R: What can I say about Johnny that hasn’t already been spat out in this blog? I love the man who carries at least 7 vices around with him on a daily basis. You’ve always been an interesting character, and even though I haven’t seen you in over a year, we can always pick up just where we left off and I love that.
Alice: When the old crew that filled this blog with adventures fell away, (moved, left town, of got married) you’ve always been a constant in my life. You’re one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. I cherish our friendship and am so glad you’re still around. It was an absolute joy to sit in front of the fireplace with you at The Dandelion last month. You’re a delight, and even as I write this, I’m looking forward to seeing you soon and catching up on your stories.
Sabrina: Thanks for being my #1 fan. I know you’ve had some struggles in your life, but you’ve risen above it all in glorious fashion. I’m so proud of you. I know you don’t have many posts about you, but your words always inspire me to push on. I will never forget the day you said: “I love all of your stories. I pretend I’m the women in each story and love all the crazy things you get yourself into!” You’re the best, Sabrina!
Rebecca: I loved our early dates before Cherie, but you slipped away. I get it, but the brief moments we spent together were some of my finest in Philly. You’re a lovely girl and represent all that I want but cannot possess. I always thought you’d be the next big thing after Michelle, but destiny had it’s own plan for us I guess. I wish you well, dear.
Sarika: The prettiest girl I know in Philly. The brilliant, misunderstood scientist nerd who is one of the most unique women I’ve ever met. Thank you for spending all the time you did with me. I’ll never forget all of the parties, events, movies, and museum visits. Congratulations on your recent engagement. He appears to be a good man, and I’m glad that you’ve found happiness. I miss you, but wish you both health and joy!
Dina: I met you when you were 22 and working as an intern at the newspaper. Now you’re my broker and manage all of my money. I love you, and am so happy you’re in my life. I think my favorite thing about you is your acceptance of me. No matter what I did, you always approved and took my side. I will always appreciate your friendship. I recently found out that you’re expecting. That’s going to be one cute baby! Congrats!!!
There are so many other people that have been just great on this journey. I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for over three years! Like I said in my annual New Years blog, it all started with a single post.
if you want to do something, just take the first step. One step. Is that all it takes? NO. Take that first step and keep walking. Let go of the bars of your own prison and simply walk out. Writing has been an incredible liberating experience for me. I discovered while doing this that if you write it down, you’ll work it out. The best therapy for me in my later life has been writing. Maybe for you it’s painting, or music, cooking,or gardening. But whatever it is, please keep doing it. It will carry you forth through this life.
Writing down all of my thoughts and feelings in this blog have cleared away all of the mist of my past. The clouds of my understanding opened and the sun shown through the darkness and confusion of my existence. By writing down what I experienced, I was able to sort it out and look at it clearly and see the whole picture. What it was. What it meant. Why it worked or failed. There was a calming effect that came with that. It has brought me more wisdom and understanding in my life. When you write it brings forth a document. A document of what has come to pass and what it really meant to you.
I don’t know what else to say at this point, Normally I can waffle on for a good 3000 words. But I’m off from work today and I kind of want to simply rest and bask in the sunlight of my thoughts of you all and how fortunate I’ve been to meet you.
Thank you all so much. I’m extremely grateful.
I’ll leave you with this…
All the money in the world can’t buy a second of time.
Make today count.
See you all at 250,000!
Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.
“We’ll just have to see how this one plays out. I’m not going to get my hopes up, but if it goes well, I will be getting airbags installed in the headboard of my bed.”
I met Rebecca 3 years ago on a date. Rebecca has recently made an appearance in my life so I thought I’d re-run this series so everyone won’t have to go back and search for her series to catch up. Enjoy!
Fall 2016
Rebecca was right next to me. I could feel the energy. I felt really close to her.
“The city is so beautiful” she said.
She turned to me.
“You are” I replied.
And that’s when our lips met. My Lord. I’m too old for this.
Wait…no I’m not.
I kissed her.
Her lips were soft as she yielded to me. She folded into me like an old friend. It was just like I just stepped off stage at the Troubadour in Los Angeles and she loved the song that I had written about her. I was ageless in that moment. Overcome. Beautiful. This can’t be happening, but it is. Her lips were sweet and a little sticky. Minty. Human.
Her pupils were so big, it’s like her eyes were black instead of green. Her cheeks flushed and she giggled. I gently brushed her dark hair from her face and behind her ear. She slipped from me and cocked her head. It was as if she were trying to see me in a different way. “Let’s go look at some more stuff” she said, smiling. All I could hear was Midnight Moses playing in my head by the Dead Daisies.
We continued to wander though the museum. Just going from room to room. I was making her laugh a lot about some things, because that’s what I do. I think at this point it was more nerves than game. I was smitten. I’m like a child at this point. I really am. I’m just amazed to be alive at this moment. But this is the old me. The new, old me. I shouldn’t follow this path.
We went into this one room and the whole space was art in architecture. Glorious big rooms that are incredible and opulent. We’re looking around the room and I’m behind her and she just leans back into me, and she is again in my arms. Is it the art? Is it me? It can’t be me. This is nuts, but the euphoria is glorious. I love this. This is my favorite part of everything. The beginning. Ignition. I’ve always been this way, much to the disappointment of the women in my life. But for right now I’m living in this moment. None of this makes any sense but I’m mainlining this feeling. She turns in my arms and nuzzles her lips and nose to mine. Her eyes are smokey and dark. Lashes flash and she smiles. She looks deeply into my eyes.
Rebecca pulls me into her world and kisses me again.
And again…
There was a moment later when we were sitting in one of the galleries and she was so excited by a work of art she grabbed my hand. She clasped it tightly in both of her hands as she described her passion for the work. It was one of my favorites as well. The couple coming home from the carnival. I feel her soft hand clasp mine. She’s holding my hand in her lap. Dopamine drops in my mind and I’m blind. The work was beautiful. But, I could no longer see it. It was gone. As was I. All I could feel in that moment was the back of my hand against Rebecca’s warm thigh.
I think we were at the PMA for 3, maybe 4 hours. I have no sense of time at this point with Rebecca. If I never hear from her again, I’m okay. This was a special sacred moment that I can wrap myself up in tonight. It’ll be just like waking up from a beautiful dream.
Obviously, we did get around to inquiries. Being overwhelmed by beauty and art only lasts so long. I asked he why she’s on Tinder. She said that she wanted to meet someone good. Someone that understood her and liked the things she liked. She told me at her age her friends aren’t really friends at all. They are just a bunch of young fools that smoke a bunch of weed and get drunk all of the time. She has ambition and wants to make something of herself. (she did seem really mature while we were texting) She told me she kind of went on Tinder to try. She gave me an example of a conversation she had with a boy her age recently. They were chatting and she asked him what he was looking for and he said he’d like to have some fun. When she asked him to define “fun” he sent her a photo of his genitals. That is some sad textbook shit right there. She explained to me that as an emergency room nurse, she gets her fill of seeing plenty of junk on a regular basis. “I don’t want to see his dick. I saw 5 dicks today and I had to put a catheter in an 85-year-old dick today”
My unblinking response: “Okay…..okay…”
She said she met another guy. She loved his mind and political views and he was just a really smart guy. She thought maybe her love of his mind and heart would translate into sex but she just wasn’t lit when they kissed. Women know. It’s either on in their minds and bodies or it’s not. Sadly boys, men don’t have this ability. She said she went on 4 dates with him and it was done. He was divorced and really into his kids, I think she said they were 16 and 19. He wanted to have her over and they were going to have dinner with the gang, and it all seemed weird because the teens were a little uncomfortable with their 54-year-old father bringing over a girl who was only 2 years older than the 19-year-old son.
Fuck. I’m jaded as hell and I hate that story. But it really came down to the fact that there was no chemistry. And that’s critical, because I’ve made that kind of lightening strike twice in the same place in the last decade. But what I noticed was she liked him but just wasn’t feeling the intimacy when they kissed. It just wasn’t there. She said she really liked him as a man and tried to keep the friendship going but he realized there was no fire so he withdrew. He has since moved on and even recently married.
So, is this chick into older men? I suppose so because she’s so bright and mature in her head. She’s got the brain of Emily Dickinson and the body of Vanessa Hudgens.
What am I supposed to do with that? I never saw any of this coming when I started this blog. I thought I would be just writing about my experiences with women here in Philly over the last 10 years, and then this curve ball blindsided me.
She told me her dad is a big guy who’s from New York and he’s a caricature of a New Yorker. Works for the railroad. Her uncle travels the world and sounds like a cool guy that works and makes enough money and then moves to the Philippines and lives like a king for a year and then does it again somewhere else. That sounds awesome. I don’t have the freedom to do that but if I did you know I’d be there in Thailand risking arrest every year until I die. But I digress…
We wander back to the first floor and are nearing the exit. She validates her parking because apparently she’s a member of the museum which I find super cool. We walk out the door and go to the elevator to the parking garage. I didn’t know the PMA had this. It must be new. I walk her to her car. It’s dusty and blue. We do the perfunctory statements. I like you. I want to see you again. But those words are hollow. I think I may never see her again. This all seems so unreal. I haven’t felt this in years. Please don’t let this happen again. But I want the drug of love. Not love. Just the drug. I feel like a helpless addict.
She looks up at me under the fluorescent lights of the stark concrete parking garage. We are beneath the silence… Her green eyes flash in the light like pale emeralds. She runs her hands through her thick mane of dark hair. I watch as it tumbles back to her shoulders through her fingers. Her neatly manicured fingernails. The lean muscles in her arms. She smiles. Sort of a sly, half-smile. Like she knows something about me that I haven’t revealed. I think she senses it in my eyes. I smile and try to clear that. But she sees me. It’s unsettling. She places her petite hands together likes she’s praying, and then spreads them and reaches for me. Her hands hit my shoulders and pull me toward her.
She kisses me. The kiss is deep and wet. Her tongue swirls. She smells exquisite.
I am lost in this sensuous moment.
But just for a moment.
Rebecca: “I like you. The Fringe Festival is happening soon. Can we go to something?”
You all know my answer.
She places her foot against the door and adjusts her shoe. I steal a glance at her well turned leg. She lingers on the laces of her sneaker. It’s taking too long. It’s as if she wants to remind me of what I like. She knows. She’s reading me. Come on. Nobody can do that. Maybe it’s all in my head, but her legs are exquisite and she knows she’s touched the beyond in me.
She drives away and I’m back on the street behind the museum. I order an UBER. He arrives in 8 minutes and I’m on my way back to Rittenhouse. I’m sitting in the back of the Toyota Avalon and my mind is reeling. I need to hold it together. He’s lost for some reason and I have to guide the driver home. I get out and realize I haven’t eaten in over 8 hours. I stop at my local corner shop and order a slice to go. I get back to the bat cave and text her.
“Home safe. Had a lovely evening with you.”
Crickets.
Panic.
Then it came…
“I was just about to text you the same thing! See you soon! XOXO- Rebecca”
We’ll just have to see how this one plays out. I’m not going to get my hopes up, but if it goes well, I will be getting airbags installed in the headboard of my bed.
Old habits die hard.
Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.
How do you like my new Homepage pic? In the last few years the skyline here in Philly has dramatically changed. The town has really boomed in the last 12 years I’ve lived here. So I figured the pic should reflect how lovely our city looks now as we enter a brand new decade!
I’ve been writing Phicklephilly for over 3 years now, and it’s been an incredible journey of dating, love, relationships, and new discoveries!
I’d like to first express my incredible gratitude to everyone who has chosen to read, like, comment, and most of all, follow my blog. I appreciate every one of you and will always try to respond to any of your comments on any of my stories.
Can we talk numbers for a moment before I get to the good stuff?
Here’s where we are as of this writing. Over the last 3 years, I’ve had over 55,000 visitors to the site, and over 100,000 page views! I can’t believe my good fortune.
Thank you all!
I started this blog back in the Fall of 2016 with a single post on a Monday about a date I went on. After writing it, I thought… How the heck am I going to come up with something for next week? But I wrote something else and was on my way. It was a very long and slow progress in the beginning. (The only way to become a writer is to simply write!)
Then I’d do an update on the occasional Wednesday. Then came Tales of Rock. Then Crazy Dating Stories from my past. What followed was Dating and Relationship Advice. What was once a once a week thing has grown to a daily forum!
Top Blog Posts of 2019
You want to know what’s weird? Out of everything I’ve written on here, (1800 posts!) the most popular thing I’ve ever composed is a post entitled, Asian Massage Parlors – The Fun Part. It’s had over 2700 page views in the last 2 years! People all over the world read that piece every day! I don’t know why, but it’s an odd anomaly based on what phicklephilly is usually about.
Another strange phenomenon has been the success of articles I’ve written about two actresses that were on a wonderful program from the BBC. Death in Paradise. It’s a great little series that takes place at a fictional resort. The local police force solves a different murder each episode. Actresses, Sara Martin, and Josephine Jobert have both been on the show at different times. I was completely taken with both of these lovely, talented women. Well, apparently, so is the world. Anything I’ve written about either of them have been some of my most successful posts ever! (2400+ views each!) You’d think a Dating and Relationship themed blog wouldn’t get that kind of traction writing about actresses that aren’t even popular here in the US. But apparently, globally these ladies are beloved. Congrats ladies! Thanks for making my blog great!
There are several other posts that are wildly popular as well, but mostly people like stories about my teenage years. One of the most popular ones is about a young lady named Lola whom I had the pleasure of having as my little girlfriend back in the 70’s. It’s a sexy, fun tale that has somehow caught the imagination of my readers. (1200 views!)
Also, it seems anything sexy seems to generate quite a bit of buzz. One of the top performers is entitled, Hookers on Tinder. (All time views: 3200!) I’m still a bit surprised by all of this, but I promise to keep trying to create quality, fun content that people like to read.
This kind of data tells me that the people have spoken, and maybe I need to dig deeper into my checkered past and pull out some more stories from my youth!
I’ve written so many heartfelt pieces about my life, family and feelings. No one really cares much about me working through my issues as a kid. They love the crazy, sexy stories and dating advice! (I don’t really mind what you like. Just keep reading folks!)
Anyway, let’s talk about what’s coming up on Phicklephilly in 2020.
Dating and Relationship Advice
This series began back in 2017. I would publish content on the weekends. It just seemed like a natural progression for the blog to take. I wrote about dating and relationship tales from my own life, and thought, why not give a little advice to help others?
It was okay for awhile, but then a friend of mine was going through a difficult separation from his wife and I wanted to help. I of course, rallied around him to assist. But I also thought, what if I try to write something every day that references dating and relationship guidance? I’ll do it every day for 30 days and he can read it, and it’ll help acclimate him to the new dating world after being off the market for 12 years.
Well, that turned into 90 days. Then I simply pushed on and kept researching and writing, and before I knew it, it became an everyday thing.
But… after a year I realized he was too busy to read it and it felt like a waste of my time. I also wanted to focus on the things I wanted to write about in my own life. I was tired of having to edit 14 posts for over 3 hours every Sunday night, just to be ready to publish for the upcoming week’s material.
But then something magical happened.
My daily traffic DOUBLED!
I liked that very much. But after a year and a half of that I decided around the end of the third quarter of 2019 I was sick and tired of writing dating and relationship advice every day. I decided to stop doing it by year end and focus on stories that were exclusively about my life experiences from then on.
But… it got to be about a month ago and I realized that dating and relationship advice had become the bedrock, the foundation of the blog itself. It seemed people loved reading them and always enjoyed the content and commented to let me know that it was helping them in their daily lives.
So… Happy 2020! I will continue to try to bring you the best and most interesting dating and relationship content I can for at least another year. (Knowing me, I’ll probably never stop writing about the subject because there’s so much to tell!)
Thank you for all of your words and support. Dating and Relationship Advice is here to stay!
Did you know there’s a Language Translation widget on here now? It’s really increased my global reach, and I like that people everywhere in the world can now enjoy my stories in their native language. Phicklephilly can be read in any language with a simple click of a button! (Now you have no excuse not to read my blog!)
Sun Stories
These stories will continue to be told through 2020 but probably not much further than that. If you keep reading the blog you’ll find out why. However, I’ll be introducing some new people that have come to work at the salon so we’ll see how they work out. The lovely Amelia and Eileen come to mind. I hope you enjoy reading about these great women whom I’ve had the honor to know.
Crazy Dating Stories
I’m almost out of gas on these stories. They’ve been fun to recount, but there are only so many in my memory. I’m sure there’ll always be some crazy story to tell based on who I am, but for the most part, they’ve been exhausted at this point. I will eventually tell the tales of my young life in New Jersey with some legendary people, but there are still some from my time in California in the early Eighties, but beyond that not much is left. Which brings me to…
California Dreamin’ 1982-1984
I really enjoyed writing about the journey on the road to Los Angeles back in those days. I think I did justice to the trip itself, but I know there’s so much more to tell. I still have more stories to tell, but they’ll no longer be running every Friday anymore. I’ll probably write a few more and run them on Saturdays. I’ll compose them as the memories surface, but I’ll write them when the mood strikes me. I promise they’ll be interesting, but for now I need to focus on the things that are happening in my life right now. (So, they’re not going away, just published a little less.) Spoiler Alert: George Carlin and Arnold Schwartzenegger will both be making appearances, and I have proof that I’ve met them both!
Erotic Fiction
I tried my hand at writing erotica in 2019. I thought this would be a fun foray into something a bit more racy than the usual Phicklephilly dating fare. I worked hard on creating rich stories with solid plot lines and characters with a bit of sex. I thought they’d be a big hit with my readers.
I was dead wrong.
Murder Mystery Weekend, Another Life, A Unique Gift and The Beach House all withered and died like a house plant that gets no light or water. I get it. No one read any of them. (Okay, like one guy read maybe one or two of them, but that’s just not enough for me to continue these erotic series) Frankly, I liked the idea of A Unique Gift. (The whole mind control thing tickled me.) I loved writing The Beach House and thought it would make a solid book, or movie. But alas… all of it failed miserably. I appreciate anyone who took a look, but I get it. It just didn’t work.
All of that content and more sexy, NSFW stories can be found on the following site:
So, going forward, the only things that will run over on that site (La Petite Mort) will be content that’s too racy for phicklephilly. I’ll post a NSFW link on any given story and you’ll be able to click on it and go read the story over there. I’d simply abandon the site, but based on recent events, I think I’m going to need that it to be able to publish some of my upcoming adventures. But for now, Erotic Fiction is done on Phicklephilly.
Tinder Moments
This was a monthly series where I collected funny, crazy dating profiles from online dating sites. Frankly, I don’t really use those sites anymore and got tired of collecting, and cutting and pasting all of that nonsense into my blog. So they’re also sadly dead on this site. You can always go back and read the old ones. They’re pretty funny!
Phicklephilly and Sun Stories published as books on Amazon Kindle
I tried to get two books published over a year and a half ago and ran into so many technical difficulties with the team at Amazon, I decided to scrap the idea. However, I’d like to try again in 2020 and also have another work of fiction entitled, Angel with a Broken Wing, I’d like to try to publish this year. So, fingers crossed! I’m going to give it another shot! Wish me luck!
Tales of Rock
I still love researching and writing this column. As a musician and a fan of music, it’s fun to dig up these stories about the musicians we all love and hate. They’ll continue to run every Sunday at 8am through 2020. I’ve also added another feature entitled, The Best Band You Never Heard. It’ll run on the first Sunday of every month and introduce you to just that. Great bands you may never have heard about that rock! Tales of Rock is here to stay!
Phicklephilly the Podcast
I’ve done a few of these on Spotify and enjoyed making them. If I have time I’d love to do a podcast series about a former love of my life, Michelle. I still miss her friendship and would like to create a kind of audio book type thing so you can hear my stories in my own voice. I’d also like to have guests on and interview interesting people about a myriad of different subjects. Please stay tuned, this is new ground for me and any feedback is always welcome!
Guest Bloggers
There’s one person’s blog I’m interested in promoting this year on Phicklephilly. I enjoy supporting other artist’s work. I’ve done it in the past. But here’s the thing. It has to fit with what I’m creating on this forum and sadly, I really have little time these days to add anything other than the content I work to publish here everyday. I’m not ruling it out, but I just don’t want to bite off more than I can chew this year.
Dating
The core formula of Phicklephilly has always been my personal experiences here in Philadelphia. Although Dating and Relationship Advice has become the foundation of the blog that carries it forth, I believe the stories about my life lie at the center of its existence.
I live a quiet and private life now, but have always believed in absolute transparency in the words that I write here. I have no illusion as to who I am, or what I am in this world. I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done, and it’s all from the heart.
Let’s review what’s been happening.
Michelle
She was my girlfriend over 10 years ago. I still sometimes think about her, and you can read her series on Phicklephilly from 2016-2017. Originally there were only about 15 chapters but it will probably swell to 24 based on events and time. But I assure you, Michelle is not coming back. I miss her and wish her well, but it is what it is. Michelle is the one who got away.
Cherie
Cherie is my lovely girlfriend I started seeing near the end of 2016. That relationship has weathered time, distance, and my dalliances with other women. The issues in this union have been ongoing. The distance factor: She lives 40 miles away in Pottstown, PA. Our age difference: 30 years. Our work schedules: We both work crazy hours. Her family obligations: Lives with her parents and sister and has a young son. We rarely see each other. It sucks, because she’s a wonderful lady.
Sadly, when I look back on the last year or so, our tender relationship has been reduced to little more than a series of booty calls due to the sheer lack of time either of us have to see each other. Cherie is a great girl, but I have a feeling that in 2020 this relationship will sadly meet it’s end. (But, I could be wrong!)
Kita
She’s the Asian girl I met a year and a half ago at the tanning salon. A lovely, sweet girl trying to navigate her life at college here in Philly. (You can go back and read the entire sordid odyssey on this blog.) I never saw any of this coming and feel bad about it. We dated a little bit, but it felt more like a mentor/student relationship that recently spun out of control in glorious fashion. To be honest with you, at the time of this writing I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again.
Jazmin
This has been a recent, unexpected development. I don’t quite know what to make of this Persian beauty. Her appearance has been quite unexpected and I have no idea where this one will lead me. (Probably into trouble!)
Rebecca
Ah… last but certainly not least is the ethereal, Rebecca. I met her back in 2016 on Tinder when I first started writing this blog and got back into the dating arena. She predates Cherie, but disappeared for a period of time. I found her absolutely enchanting despite her then chaotic lifestyle. She recently resurfaced, and I decided to rerun her original series from the Fall of 2016.
At the time, she drifted in and out of my life. But I met Cherie and she took precedence. Cherie quickly became my main squeeze and I gave little thought as to what happened to Rebecca. I was sort of falling for her back then, but she was so flaky it was hard to lock on to her in a meaningful way. I get it. A young lady with a busy life. But there was just something wonderful about her that I could never quite possess. That obviously made her even more desirable to me.
I wanted to go back and release the original series and publish everything that happened leading up to her doing what she did. I had some drafts that I never published back then and wanted to tell the whole story now that she’s appeared back in Philadelphia. I was too busy with my new love, Cherie to even think about her back then. I hope you find her series as interesting as I do. I loved writing about her back then and I guess I just felt the story needed to be told once and for all. At this point it’s more of a nostalgia piece than anything.
Other than that I’ve been leading a pretty quiet and uneventful life. I like to work and stay busy. I feel like old Ben Kanobi from Star Wars, A New Hope, Episode IV. Not Obi Wan out fighting the Empire, just old Ben hanging out in his little house watching Netflix.
Sometimes I feel like all of my memories are here on phicklephilly and scattered in a bunch of letters and photo albums in my house.
But… I’m still alive and well and I’m sure there’ll be some new adventures I’ll explore in this brand new decade!
Thank you again for reading Phicklephilly loyal readers!
Onward and upward into The Roaring 20’s!
Thank you!
Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.
