Ambria – Chapter 18 – Not So Easy Come, But Easy Go

“Aww shucks, I made other plans.”


After the crazy sex over the 4th of July weekend, I was sort of relieved we finally got that part over with in our relationship. I know she was really after it for a while leading up to it. When I think back on it, we were talking about sex on our second date! I was the one who wanted to wait and get to know her before I let the bullets fly. But she had been after me sexually for a while. I could just tell that when she was with me she was always wanting sex.

Now I know most of you are out there thinking… Oh, nice problem to have, pal. But think about it. I’ve already got a girlfriend. I love Cherie. But I felt and instant mental and emotional connection with Ambria. (On the very first date no less.) I mean, I guess I had that with Cherie too, but this was just a whole different vibe. But a good vibe!

But, wouldn’t a hopeless romantic write a dating blog? That’s what I do. I love writing about life, romance and love. I’m not out there trying to bang a bunch of women. I love women. I’m just not that kind of guy.

Never been.

Could I have had intimate relations with Ambria long ago? Absolutely. There was a couple of times when she asked me to just come home with her. I always refused. It’s not until she lured me to the shore that she knew it was do or die for sex, because there was only one bed and we both really dug each other, so all the sex happened.

I’d been nervous about it before it happened. New girl. New place. The moral issues? Not so much. I wasn’t so much as… should I do it? It was more, could I withstand it. Could I maintain the two relationships, and hold it all together?

I did love the thrill of it, but I also liked that Ambria filled in the necessary gaps that Cherie did not. Did I have to have sex with Ambria? Well yea, of course I had to consummate the bond. She was clear that she wanted to get it on with me.

My girlfriend Cherie is a sexual animal. Our sex is mind-bending and some of the best I’ve ever experienced, but I don’t get to see Cherie that much because of our schedules. We’re both really busy and I get it. But lately when I do see her it’s just for an overnight, or a few hours. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m fine with it. A young chick that swings down and bangs the hell out of you and then leaves? Awesome. But I wanted to go hang out and play with Cherie. Go on dates. See movies together, go out to dinner. But like I said, lately she just hasn’t been around and Ambria was there to do all the fun lunches, movies, food and drinks for a while there.


But here’s the weird part.

Last week I asked Ambria out to the movies for Monday. We’ve been to the matinée twice and Monday is our day to play hookie and do that. She tells me she can’t because she has a medical conference to attend. No problem. Saw all of her over the holiday weekend and still good with the all the hot sex. Shit happens. Even in her text she was like, “Darn medical conference!”

No worries. I can always find something else to do.

But let’s look at the texts after our little holiday together.

7/4 – Abria: “I made it home in one piece. Thank you for being my travel companion. I had a great time!!”

7/4 – Me: “Me too! Enjoy the rest of the holiday!”


7/5 – Me: Happy Monday. Hope it went well. You’re on my mind.

7/5 – Ambria: Hey there, my message didn’t send. Happy Monday. Yes I had some thoughts as well.”

7/5 – Me: “I loved my time with you dear.”


7/7 – Me: Happy Friday!

7/7 – Ambria: Happy Friday, kind Sir to you…!

7/7 – Me: “Thanks!”

7/7 – Me: “Want to do movie, and then wine and noodles at Dan Dan on Monday?”

7/7 – Ambria: I can’t I have a medical conference I have to go to (sad face).

7/7 – Me: “I’ll miss seeing you.”

7/7 – Ambria: I know. Damn medical conference!


7/8 – Me: “Happy Friday!”

7/8 – Ambria: “Good afternoon, Happy damn Friday to you!!!”

7/8 – Me: “Yay!”


7/9 – Me: “Have a Nice Day!”

This is where I think something changed…

7/9 – Ambria:  “You too, thank you.”


7/10 – Me: “”Happy Hump Day!”


9 hours later I text her a sad-faced emoji…

7/11 – Ambria: Hey there. (Emoji that just has eyes, no mouth.)


7/12 – Me: “Where ya been dear?”

7/12 – Ambria: “Been a busy week both working and being out. How about you?”

7/12 – Me: “Me too but mostly work stuff. (Bold faced lie)


7/14 – Me: Want to do movie, wine, and noodles at Dan Dan on Monday? (She LOVES the noodles at Dan Dan)

7/14 – Ambria: “Aww shucks, I can’t I have plans already.”


I didn’t respond. The writing’s on the wall.


I think it’s over.


I can understand the medical conference. But after you’ve had sex with someone it sort of cements the relationship. If on your next day off you have you make other plans and they’re not with that person, something’s wrong. We’re adults. She should have said something to me. If it’s something I did I’ll own up to it. We seemed really compatible, but who knows what’s going on in her head.

It could be one or a few things:

  1. She’s met someone else and is moving forward with them.
  2. Maybe she was just horny and needed sex, and once she got it she moved on to other prey. (Highly doubt this one)
  3. Because the train (her orgasm) never arrived at the station over the 4th of July with me, that’s a deal breaker. (That’s a stretch, because she said it was in her head and had nothing to do with me. Also, there are some women who just can’t get off with a man, they can only orgasm on their own.)
  4. I don’t pay enough attention to her. (ie: texting more often, making an effort to visit her in her neck of the woods, chatting on the phone, etc.

I’d also like to hear from my readers what their thoughts are on this subject.

So like I said, I didn’t respond. I’d be interested to find out which one of the above it is that caused her to fade out, but maybe I never will.

Here’s the thing. I guess I’ve been at this dating thing for so long I’ve become a little jaded. I enjoyed my time with Ambria, but if this is the end, so be it. I was just filling the holes that Cherie was leaving in my relationship with her. (No pun intended)

“Why chase her when I’m clearly the catch?”

Maybe based on her inability to climax during our little romp in Atlantic City last week, I should have entitled this piece: Uneasy Cum, Easy Go.



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9 Tips to a Peaceful Marriage

Here’s a piece that was given to me by one of my followers. Interesting perspective.


There’s no marriage in this world that is perfect or smooth, or without its ups and downs. Indeed like every other thing in this world, there are two sides to marriage; the good times and the bad times.

Marriage is like salt and pepper, honey and bile, thistles and thorns etc; but it doesn’t mean you cannot have the best of it.

There are many reasons why a lot of couples grow apart and live like strangers or decide to separate. It could be adultery, misunderstanding, mistrust, monetary issues, family interference etc. whatever it is; you can always find ways around it.

Here are a few tips to help you deal with the problems:


A family that prays together stays together. There is nothing beyond God Almighty. There is a hymn that says, ‘what a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and grief to bear. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear; all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.’ The Bible makes us understand that, ‘by strength shall no man prevail.’ 1Samuel 1:9 Come together as a family and put your burdens upon the Lord and He will guide your path and answer your prayers and bring you peace.


Communication is a key ingredient to a successful marriage. As human beings we are naturally presumptuous and always feel that people should know better, as a result, we have the same attitude towards all our relationships. Some times when we are offended by something someone said or did and they fail to apologize, we naturally assume they are intentionally refusing to do that. And so we hold the offense in our hearts and look for ways to hurt them back. What we fail to understand is that, sometimes, it might not be intentional and also we differ in opinions and point of views. What might be offensive to you might not be offensive to the other person. If your spouse offends you by deed or words, sometimes he/she might not be aware; therefore you should try to let them know gently, that is if you feel like you can’t let go without an apology. Don’t keep things within you and assume he/she should know better, because we are all fallible. Don’t let a third-party into your marital issues. Most married couples prefer to talk to their friends and extended families about their problems rather than their spouses. Coming from a different point of view, these individuals might end up giving bad advice and causing more harm. Keep your friends and extended family out of your marital problems and have a healthy communication with your spouse over your issues.


Unforgiveness creates bitterness and bitterness over time creates hatred. Sometimes you must learn to let go, even when your spouse refuses to apologize for an offense. And if he/she does, don’t be hard-hearted; graciously forgive him/her. Give him/her a hug and kiss to let him/her know that all is forgiven. Whenever there is an argument, do not continue to remind him/her of what he/she did in the past; even if it was the day before or an hour ago. When you say you have forgiven, you must learn to forget. If you keep reminding your spouse about his/her past mistakes or offenses, it gives him/her the impression that you still harbor anger in your heart towards him/her and that can also create bitterness in his/her own heart.


There is an inner ‘child’ in all of us who makes us behave immaturely or babyishly occasionally; which can be very annoying sometimes. There are times when you have difficulty getting through to your spouse over what you may believe as a simple matter and you find it very irritating and annoying. Sometimes, you feel like you are talking to a brick wall or to a child; just learn to be patient with him/her. In times like this, learn to deal with your spouse patiently. Fire for fire will definitely set your house ablaze. Sometimes; even when you are right, for peace to reign, concede. And if you are wrong, learn to admit your fault. Remember, ‘a gentle answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.’ Proverbs 15:1


Whatever is causing the disagreement, learn to come to an understanding. Find a common ground on that issue and compromise. If it’s little habits about your spouse that you don’t like and you feel like pointing out to him/her will create a problem, then learn to live with it. He/she might feel the same way about you and might not even be offended by yours. Remember, you are not perfect either, so don’t make a big deal out of his/her bad habit if you can live with it; If you can’t, then patiently help him/her to overcome it.


Learn to trust your spouse. Nagging or questioning him/her over every little lateness or phone calls or text messages creates the impression of distrust. Be worthy of the trust your partner places in you. Be open, honest and truthful. Don’t make coming back home late from work a habit. If you will be late, inform your spouse about it. Do not be secretive about your phone calls. Make or receive your phone calls in front of your spouse. After all, you are one and there should be no secrets between the two of you. There’s nothing wrong with your spouse receiving your calls or reading your text messages; there should be nothing like privacy between husband and wife, unless one has something to hide. If you see each other’s nakedness then what else have you got to hide?


Respect they say is reciprocal. What you give is what you get. Garbage in garbage out; you cannot disrespect your spouse and expect him/her to respect in return. In the matter of arguments, think carefully about your words before you utter and be mindful of where you are and who is around. If you disrespect your spouse in public, know that you have given others the right to disrespect both you and him/her. Don’t be ruled by ego or pride; it can destroy your marriage.


‘Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.’ Ephesians 4:26. Don’t go to bed angry without solving your problems. If talking gets you nowhere, have make up sex; a passionate one and you will feel calmer in the morning and more open to a truce. Cook a special meal, buy flowers or card or chocolate and present it to your partner. Nothing says, ‘I am sorry’ better than these things.


If any of these don’t work, then you can seek counseling from a professional counselor or at best from your pastor. Also depending on your parent’s disposition about your marriage or spouse, you can seek for their advice; only after you have tried to resolve it between the two of you and have failed.

I do not profess to be an expert but I believe there is no problem on this earth without a solution; as long as you stick it out together, you will always find a way. Remember on the day you took your vows, you promised, “for better, for worse, till death do us part,” so you must also be prepared to endure the worst part to have the best part.

Shalom! The peace of Christ reign in your homes!

Stay blessed and know that Jesus loves you dearly just as I do.


Thanks. I hope this was helpful. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this piece.


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5 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Gaslighting You

“Some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others.” — Paramahansa Yogananda

What is gaslighting? According to relationship expert Susan Winter, gaslighting occurs when someone tries to control someone else through manipulation by making them doubt themselves, their intuition and their reality. Note that the purpose is to make someone question their reality. It’s a specific form of abuse that can cause people to feel like they’re going crazy.

The term originated from a play called “Gaslight” in which a husband slowly drives his wife mad by turning gas lights on and off and then denying that anything is happening. Now, gaslight is used to describe abuse that makes someone question their reality. Fortunately, there are several red flag behaviors that expose someone as a gaslighter.

1. Lying

Lying is a key behavior in gaslighting. In fact, gaslighting requires that the person in question tells blatant lies. If someone is telling you lies that contradict what you know, then it’s a red flag that they are trying to gaslight you. For example, if you know that you said something specific, and your partner tries to lie and say that you said something else, then it’s a red flag. For example, if you told your partner, “I’m annoyed right now”, and they try to change what you said to, “I hate you right now”, this is a form of gaslighting.

5 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Gaslighting You

2. They project feelings onto you

Projection is a term that means someone is making out like you feel, think or want something that you don’t actually feel, think or want. Someone who is gaslighting you needs to be able to project something on their victim in order to control them. For example, if you are giving the abuser a neutral response, they may project an openly hostile response onto you. When someone says, “I don’t know” in response to a question, the gaslighter will project a more insidious motivation or feeling onto the person. Not only that, but they will tell you what you’re feeling, and insist that it’s true until you start to believe it.

3. They pit you against everyone else

A gaslighter wants you to believe that it’s “you and me against the world”. They will make you believe that everyone else is lying to you, and that they are the only person that you can trust. If a gaslighter starts to tell you that your friends and family are lying to you, this is a big red flag, especially if this is hard to believe. If your friends and family have never lied to you before, then they wouldn’t have any reason to start lying now. Someone who is trying to gaslight you wants you to believe that everyone else can’t be trusted.

4. They say one thing and do another

The greatest tool that a gaslighter has is confusion, and they are masters at being able to control that confusion. If someone is telling you one thing, but demonstrating something else, then this is a huge sign that they are trying to gaslight you. For example, if someone tells you that they trust you, but breaks into your phone, this means that they don’t actually trust you. If someone tells you that they love you, but they continue to berate and humiliate you, this is a red flag. If someone is intentionally trying to confuse you, they’re trying to gaslight you.

5. Denial

Another tell-tale behavior of someone who is trying to gaslight you is outright denial. This goes hand in hand with lying. According to George Simon, PhD, “When they’re confronted, they don’t just deny, deny, deny — they deny adamantly. The script is simple: when you get confronted on something you know will expose you for the unsavory character you are, act offended and hurt, appear resolute, and question the sanity of your accuser. The script is not only simple, it’s also generally effective.

It doesn’t matter if you have video evidence of them doing something, they will bend over backwards trying to prove to you that the event didn’t actually happen. However, this mostly happens in more subtle ways. If they insulted you yesterday, they will deny that they did today. If you helped them out with something, they will deny that you ever helped them at all. Be aware of denial, as this is a red flag of someone trying to gaslight you.

Final thoughts

Gaslighting can be an incredibly scary thing to go through. However, these are the main signs that will let you know if gaslighting is occurring. Someone who is trying to gaslight you will try to make you question your reality. The most important thing to do is to get as much proof as you can and figure out an exit strategy with your support system. Let other people know what’s going on and use them as your reality check.


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Cherie – Chapter 38 – In Bloom

Cherie texts me that she has missed her 6pm train and that’s she’s driving down. That actually buys me some time to take care of some of the things I couldn’t today because of other people’s fuck ups. I spray my bedroom with air freshener, Strip the bed and put fresh sheets on it, and remove all the trash and recyclables from my room. I set the music on Pandora to chill, and make sure there are enough chocolates and candles for tonight’s event.

I start walking towards suburban station to meet her at the train. When I get there at 7pm I text her and ask her when is she getting off the train. She texts me back to remind me that she told me that she’s driving in tonight.

Ahhh…. Well now I won’t see her for an hour because she’s out searching for parking now. And that will take her forever knowing Cherie. So I head south on 17th street and stop in the Rite Aid on Chestnut St. I pick up some laundry detergent pellets that my daughter Lorelei wanted and some razors that I desperately needed.

I decide to just head back to my apartment and chill out and wait for the word from Cherie that the eagle has landed.

I get a text from her telling me she got a spot down at 22nd and Bainbridge. I tell her to head North on 22nd street up to Pine and make a right. (Baby has such a poor sense of direction that telling Cherie to go north, is like telling her to go orange) She just doesn’t get it. But I send her a snapshot of the map and she pulls it together. I head out of the apartment and go west on Pine hoping to meet her halfway. I do and when I see her I’m very happy.

It’s been three weeks and Cherie seems a bit quiet. I ask her if she’s okay and she says she is. Just the usual life stresses she always has. I wish her a happy 8 month anniversary, and tell her how pleased I am with how things are going. We get to the house. The day has been a long, hot grind already. I tell her I’m going to take a quick shower to clean up and cool off. I turn on the air conditioner and the music for her. She flops back on the bed to rest.

I’m so happy to be taking this shower. It’ll give me a chance to freshen up before I hop in bed with Cherie. I was in such a rush to get to the salon this morning I didn’t have a chance to shave or do any manscaping. It’s been three weeks since I’ve seen her and I need to keep the instrument in top shape.

I come out in my robe and get on the bed with her. I notice that she’s being a bit coy with me. leading up to today she’s always saying how horny she is and how she can’t wait to tear me apart. But at the moment she’s playing like she’s not that interested. I decide to take matters into my own hands.

I start kissing and caressing her. She starts to come around. I go to work on her to get her warmed up and it works beautifully. She starts like a brand new car.

After our joyous activity that goes on until 11:30pm she laughs and apologizes for being a bit aloof earlier. She was just being a baby because she hadn’t seen me in a while and was frustrated.

Well I pounded that frustration right out of her and Cherie loved every inch of it.

Have I gone too far with my words? This is a dating blog, not a sex blog. But how I wish I could describe in graphic detail how amazing sex is with Cherie. It,s an absolute delight.

We fall asleep around midnight, and all is right with the world.

Cherie gets up around 3am to go to the bathroom. When she returns she reaches over and gently coaxes me awake and then to arousal. We go for another round of mind bending sex. We finally settle down around 4am and go back to sleep. I know she said she had to be on the road by 8:30am so I set the alarm for 6:30.


The next morning she said she doesn’t HAVE to be on the road by 8:30, so I let her sleep in and I take a shower. It’s been a delightful night. I wish we had more time so we could go out and do things together more, but if this is the way it is right now, so be it. It’s cheap and super fun.

Gents… wouldn’t you like to know that once or twice a month some hot girl is going to stop by your house and bang the hell out of you and then get off the property?

Damn straight you would.

When we’re up and ready I decide to take her to Honey’s Sit n’ Eat at 21st and South. It’s a great breakfast spot. The food is fresh and delicious, the staff is nice, but it’s a little pricey. The place couldn’t be more perfect. It’s literally two blocks from where her car’s parked and we get a table immediately.

I will say this though. When we entered, I walked up to the counter. The hostess wasn’t there yet. I’m there and Cherie is just a step behind me. There is no one else standing there. Just us two. The hostess arrives and says hello. I say:

“Table for two.”

“Has your other party arrived yet?”

I turn around to Cherie and say: “Yea. She’s right here.”

“Come with me.”

What the fuck? Is it because there is no way a middle-aged, white gentleman coming into this breakfast nook couldn’t possibly be with this visibly younger, attractive black girl?

What the fuck? I talked to Cherie about this later, and told her how appalled I was by the stupid hostess’ ignorance. She said, if she didn’t have to be on the road back home in and hour she would have simply said: “Let’s go.”

What the hostess did, felt a little racist. I know everybody’s sensitive nowadays, but I’m very aware of that shit now that I’m with a black chick. They have it rough in this world. Shit’s not fair. And there is no white person in this country that can say they know what’s it’s like to be born black in America.

But to end this on a positive note, the breakfast was amazing. Baby’s belly was full. I was satisfied and ready to go work at the salon, and I got her to her car safely and off she went.

I’ll see her when I see her. (As my father used to say)



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How to Get a Girlfriend and Keep Her

How to Get a Girlfriend and Keep Her

Getting a girlfriend is an important business in a man’s life. Unless you are famous, extremely rich or a male model you’ve probably found that it’s not easy to make a beautiful woman your girlfriend. You may believe fate will throw the woman of your dreams into your path. It’s possible, but you could be waiting a long time. As with most things in life good things tend to come to those who actually seek them.


Here are a few pointers to get you on your way to finding a girlfriend…

Step One: How to Find a Girlfriend

I’m going to be honest with you – a great girlfriend isn’t going to jump out of your closet while you’re playing world of warcraft one day and chase after you. If you want to get a girlfriend, you need to go out and take the initiative.

That means you have to actually meet girls. Look for ways to get them in your life. Go out, meet people, join clubs, and get involved in activities where you’re likely to meet girls. Make friends with everyone, but especially people who know a lot of women. Once you gain a wider social circle you will find yourself coming into contact with more girls. You’ll also be better equipped in social situations.

Having good social skills and confidence are essential if you are going to approach women in bars and nightclubs. Girls you meet in these situations will be more critical of how you come across – they are being hit on by a lot of guys and will make fast, sometimes harsh assessments. You can learn all about approaching girls and how you should steer your conversations in our dating bible Magic Bullets.

Step Two: Make her WANT to be your girlfriend.

The essence of this is attraction.

If you can get a girl on a date it means she’s interested in you. Mess it up and she won’t be for much longer. Don’t make the date too formal (dinner = bad idea, cinema = worst) and try to make physical contact with her as much as possible. Ideally go somewhere that has some form of entertainment that can take the pressure off your conversation and go to a few different venues; it will make her feel like she’s known you for longer.

Here’s a video that goes into a bit more detail into how to create attraction on a date. Attraction of course is crucial to getting a girlfriend and keeping her.

Moving on to the more general guidelines, you’ve probably heard that women want a badboy… it’s not completely true. Women want a strong man – someone with his own opinions, who stands up for himself and doesn’t take any crap – least of all from her. You don’t need to be an asshole, but try being a little selfish. Don’t be afraid to cancel plans if they don’t suit you and don’t do anything a selfish man would think was too much of a hassle.

Step 3: How to keep a girlfriend

At all times you have to remember never to make a girl feel like you need her. Being needy is a one-way ticket to nights at home with microwave meals for one. Stay away from emotional texts like “So great to meet you, haven’t stopped thinking about you since…” or “I know it’s too early to say this, but I really feel connected to you in a deep way.” It’s okay to text stuff like this when she’s your girlfriend, and she will think it’s cute. But do it when you’ve just met her and she’ll think you’re a weirdo.

Don’t bring up the “are we officially girlfriend and boyfriend” conversation before it’s absolutely necessary; ideally wait until she starts hinting. If she doesn’t, then casually say something along the lines of “We never discussed this… but are we meant to be seeing other people?” If you’ve taken your time and you’ve been seeing a lot of each other than you shouldn’t get too many surprises at this point.

If you can steer your way through all of that then congratulations – you have a girlfriend, regular sex, and maybe a dream of eternal happiness. It’s not a process that’s easy so don’t get down when you get it wrong. Learn your lessons, improve, and move onto the next lucky lady.


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Sun Stories: Aishah – The Wages of Fear – Chapter 6

I was waiting for Aishah to appear the next Thursday for some more fear management but she didn’t show. At least not yet. But it was getting late and I thought she may have bailed. She needed to tan for her trip but I would just have to wait and see.

It felt a little weird. I mean the whole thing felt surreal. A model pretty girl comes to the salon to tan for a vacation and is paralyzed by extreme claustrophobia. I could never had seen it coming.

I left the doors open late on thursday in case Aishah wanted to come in. I mopped the floors and folded the towels and hoped she’d come in, but like Kita and Delaney maybe she’d simply ghosted me.

It happens in this business. It’s a luxury product. The girls come and go as they please. Spring break, prom, weddings, formal, or getting ready for the shore. That’s what we do.

I think back on how intimate our last encounter was.

The terrified claustrophobic and the voyeur. It was perfect. Her words about me sitting in the room with her while she tanned. Her lithe body. My lustful gaze. It was all so perfect to me.

I was happy to help, but to gaze upon such a vulnerable beauty was pure sex to me. I would always be the professional but I couldn’t resist the raw lust I felt gazing upon her perfect body naked before me.

It al; seemed wrong but so right in my twisted mind. Aishiah is so beautiful, and it’s almost like she enjoys me looking upon her. I understand the sickness and all, and we treat many clients for excema, seboria ,and psoriasis, but this us a new animal.

This is erotic in it’s treatment.

I can’t help but feel aroused looking upon this gorgeous young angel lying naked before me.

It was an awkward and weird moment but I did what she asked and we were cool. I have literally seen it all at this salon and I’m here to help.

I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what’s going to happen next. Maybe she’ll never return to the salon.

That would be good. Just never come back and then I never need to deal with this again. that would be perfect.


Why is Aishah not coming back in?

Should I text her?

No, that’s nuts and I should never do that.

Why is this driving me nuts?


Because I love her, (in a phicklephilly way) and she’s pretty, and I adore the vice of this dark transaction.

That’s what’s really going on.

She’ll never be back. Probably too good to be true.


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Lisa – Cuts Like A Knife

“I miss all of our time together. We should hang out soon.”

This was a few years back, but it just popped back into my mind.

One night I was at a bar with a group of friends. We were hanging out like usual, when this woman walks in. My friend jumps up and says, “Oh! Hey! Lisa! Holy shit, I haven’t seen you in years!”

She comes over, and she and my friend catch up, then she joins us at our table. Throughout the night, I couldn’t keep my mind off of how she had these incredible blue eyes. It turns out, I noticed them so much because she kept them on me all night. This girl is cool as hell. I’m really enjoying just talking to her, and there’s some light flirting. As our group thins out, we switch to a smaller table. She sits next to me. As the other two people leave, it’s just us.

Then it’s the end of the night. This never works for me, but I thought, what the hell? I invite her back to my place. She says that’d be great. Long story short, we get to my place, and we waste no time hooking up. I tell her she can crash at my place if she wants. She says she’ll take a cab back to get her car, but she leaves me her number and says, “This needs to happen again. Soon.”

Okay, this works for me! I’m a single dude, and I don’t have any irons in the fire. This situation winds up repeating itself 2-3 times a month for about 4 months. One of us hits the other up, we wind up at my place, we hook up, she heads out and wishes me a good night.

Finally, one night, we’re laying there after it’s all said and done, and she says, “This is nice. I really like this.” Then, she snuggles into me.

So I think to myself: She’s super cool. I could totally see us being something more than just hooking up a few times a month. So I ask what she means by “this”. She waves her hand in a circle. She says, “This, all of this, you.” Then, she curls into me even more. I say, “Well, this could become more if you want it to.” She says that sounds nice, and falls asleep on me.

Morning comes. She’s up and showering. She says she’s got to be somewhere early. She gives me a kiss, and she heads out.


I quit hearing from her.


She doesn’t respond to my texts. Her Facebook profile goes dark. I don’t know if she’s ghosting on me, or what. Did I scare her off? Did she change her mind? I mean, I didn’t bring up things getting more serious until she seemed like she wanted that.

After about a month or two of not hearing from her, I write her off, and I get on with my life. I wasn’t too torn up by her not being around after my friend tells me that she’s done this before in the past with other guys.

Fast forward 2 years. I get a text from a number I don’t recognize.

It’s Lisa. She’s asking how I’m doing. She’s asking if I’m seeing anybody. As it happened, I wasn’t. Then she says:

“I miss all of our time together. We should hang out soon.”

I respond with a resounding yes. After all, she was really cool. But, I decide to myself that I’m going to come into the whole thing expecting her to ghost again, so I’m just going to take things at face value, nothing more. She offers to swing by in a couple of days.

A couple of days later, she shows up. Instead of hanging out on the couch, we hang out in my dining room and kitchen while having a few drinks. After about an hour of that, she says she needs to go get some stuff from her car. I’m a bit confused, but I’m like… okay, whatever you’ve gotta do.

I see her pull a duffel bag out of her trunk. I think… Wow, did she pack an overnight bag or something? Guess it’s on tonight!

She takes the bag and sets it on the dining room table. It makes a clinking noise like she’s just set down a bag of silverware. She says, “There’s something I want to show you.”

She unzips the bag, and the first thing I see is a cardboard box with the word CUTCO on it.

…You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

A friend of mine nearly sold CUTCO knives years ago, before she realized it was such a scummy company to work for. I politely sit there while she goes through the whole pitch: watch the knife cut a beer can, a piece of thick rope. Watch the scissors cut a penny. Then she asks if I’d be interested in buying any.

I tell her, truthfully, that I just bought a new knife set. She has the nerve to ask if I could return that set and use the money to buy a CUTCO set. I tell her I’m happy with my knife set. Then I make up some story about forgetting that I was supposed to go to a buddy’s rock show that night, and I needed to get ready.

She packed up her stuff, gave me a hug, and said she’d text me later. I never got another text from her.

Fast forward to about 4-5 months ago, I see she’s married and has a kid. Good for her, I guess. But, I still think it was pretty sketchy of her to bring up our past history of hooking up to use that as a way to slide in and sell me some cutlery.

Man, did she have some crazy blue eyes, though.


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