Ambria – Chapter 7 – Monday Meeting

Before she got in the car she said, “Who are you?”

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I was planning on taking Ambria to the movies on Monday afternoon. We both like matinees so we settles on a film and I scheduled us for the 1pm show. But a few days later she had to take her Mom’s boyfriend for his colonoscopy. It was at 10am and then there is recovery, and then she would have to drive him home because he’d be out of it. So it could go on until 3pm. I figured we could go to the 4pm show. But I told her no pressure. We could always go to the movies next week.

I was also wondering this: Her mother passed away back in January. Can you still technically have a boyfriend when you’re dead? Ambria referred to this gentleman as her mom’s boyfriend. I cleared this up with her later that evening. They were together for years but her mother always claimed that he was just a “friend” not a lover. But I think it’s nice that she’s still friends with her late mother’s beau and does things to help him out. Ambria is a giver, hence the career as a nurse.

The day goes by and she’s in touch. It’s 3:30pm and she says she can meet me in 40 minutes. I tell her to go to 16th and Chestnut.

“Where?”

“Just go into Two Liberty by that coffee shop. I’ll be there when you get there.”

I come into Two Liberty at 17th street and cut through Bloomingdales just to cool off. It’s another hot day. I cut through the shops and food court and head down the steps to the 16th street entrance. I can see Ambria sitting by the window at a little table. She looks lovely. She’s wearing a light sundress with flowers on it and I see that she has straightened her hair. I like the baby curls, but straight looks very chic as well.

We greet and give each other a little peck on the lips. She wonders what adventure we’re off to today, and I tell her what I’m looking for.

“Well I was looking for a place with a few things.

1. It’s a hot day, so it needed to be a cool place.

2. You’re special, so it needed to be a cool space.

3. It needed to have an early happy hour because we’re meeting at 4:30 instead of 5pm.

4. It needed to have an elevator because my ear has been stuffed up lately and I thought a nice long elevator ride could pop it open.”

“Wow. You’ve really though this through.”

“I have. Come with me.”

We step outside onto busy 16th street. We walk a quarter of the way up the street and go back into Two Liberty. But it’s a different entrance. It’s the entrance to the residences as well as the only way to get to R2L.

R2L stands for Restaurant at Two Liberty. It’s a Daniel Stern spot and probably his most successful just due to its location. The 52nd floor. The walls are all windows to see the city. I’ve always found the food mediocre, but the view is spectacular and the place looks posh. It’s a great place to take someone on a date to impress. I wouldn’t hang there, but it’s a good jumping off point.

Great thing is, we’re early. 4:20 to be exact. Ambria’s never been there and she loves the place. The view isn’t really what it should be because of the heat. The humidity clouds the view. If it were a cool clear day, you could see for miles from the bar at 52 stories up.

I order a vodka martini straight up with a twist, Ketel One. She goes with theLoree’s Jones, named after one of the regulars that always ordered this drink so they named it after her. It’s got citron vodka, ginger liquor, peach, and soda in it. It’s pretty good. It’s a light crisp cocktail.

My drink on the other hand arrives and it appears to be a weak pour. I taste it and I can taste the vermouth. It’s not a good martini and certainly not worth the $12 to $14 price tag that I’m sure it has on it. She likes her drink, and I tell her mine is weak. The bartender is young maybe he doesn’t have a vodka martini quite down yet.

“Shall we ask him if he’s in training?”

“Oh my God, Ambria. You are so bad!”

We giggle and I tell her that although it’s only going to taste worse as it gets warmer, it’ll still do what it’s supposed to do. In a bit she orders and other one and I get a beer. I just wanted an ice cold Corona to wash the foul taste of the poorly made martini that I just drained.

I tell her I know another place a block away that is nice, cool, and up off the street. When we finish our drinks she compliments me on my 4:30 choice but agrees we should try the other place. She insists on paying the bill. (Am I falling in love?)

We head to the elevator and she’s rubbing my back. We get in and we’re the only ones in there and we kiss. It’s a sweet stolen moment that belongs only to us.

We walk over to 17th and Sansom. Davios Italian Restaurant is on the 2nd floor connected to the Club Quarters. It’s a slow Monday night. Big Chuck and Cort are on the stick so we should be in good shape. She gets a vodka cranberry and I go with another martini. This time it’s the right pour, and it’s clean and cold with tiny flecks of ice in it. Just the way I like it.

It’s summer now, so it’s quiet at Davio’s on Mondays. I know the staff doesn’t like it, But I do. We chat with Big Chuck and he’s always charming and funny. He brings out the  brochette, fries and olives for us to munch on for free. They used to give out free pizza, but they don’t anymore. We decide to just hang for the one drink, and then head down to Square next door for the hook up.

I introduce her to Roman, and tell her who he is and who he is to me.

Ambria had a few vodka cranberries and I was sipping oceans of chardonnays. She wanted to go to the ladies room and I knew she wouldn’t be able to find it so I told her I’d take her upstairs and show her where it was.

As soon as we got up there we started making out like a couple of teenagers. It was glorious. I really like Ambria.

We hung there for a few hours. Sipping our drinks, laughing and chatting. There was some hand holding and some gentle caressing. But we were at my bar so we tried to be discreet. There was another trip upstairs for more private necking.

The bill comes and it’s the usual super low amount. I love Roman. He’s my favorite bartender in the city. She hands me some money towards the check. Ambria’s great.

When we were tired I called her an UBER.

Before she got in the car she said, “Who are you?”

I’m assuming she said that because she can’t believe how well we’ve connected. The car disappears into the night. She blows me a final kiss to send me home.

I text her some movie possibilities she may be interested in.

“Check it out, dear.” I text.

“Okay my love….” was her reply.

Yea. She said that.

 

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Tales of Rock: Steven Tyler Took Legal Custody Of The Teenager He Was Banging, May Have Pressured Her Into Aborting Their Child

While today he’s most recognized as a prettier, more flamboyant version of your grandmother, back in the mid-’70s, Steven Tyler was navigating the Aerosmith ship over the massive waves of success brought on by smash hits like “Dream On.” But Tyler wasn’t just in it for the fame; right around the time Aerosmith was hitting the big time, he reached deep into his heart to take legal custody of a troubled underage fan … so that he could have approximately all of the sex with her.

Julia Holcomb had a tragic past. Her father was a gambler with abandonment issues, she was a passenger in the car crash that killed her brother and grandfather, and her mother had a history of choosing less-than-stable stepfathers. So it’s understandable that, shortly after a 14-year-old (according to Tyler) or 15-year-old (according to her) Julia met Tyler backstage at an Aerosmith concert, her mother readily signed over custody to the rock star. And by “understandable,” we mean “completely irresponsible and totally nuts.”

But Julia’s mother wasn’t about to start making decisions that were in her daughter’s best interest now, and so the young teen spent three years living with Tyler, a skeletal sex wizard. As you may suspect, this arrangement did precisely nothing to soften the tragedies of her life. According to Julia, a profusely coked-up Tyler “convinced” her to have children with him by tossing her birth control pills off a balcony. Then, once she became pregnant, he took off on tour, leaving her all alone in his Boston apartment. Then the apartment caught fucking fire, with Holcomb barely managing to survive by crawling into a fireplace (which it seems was the last place the fire thought to look for her). Then, while she was in the hospital recovering, Tyler allegedly spent a full hour pressuring her to abort her five-month pregnancy (which, if you recall, was achieved in the first place by Tyler confiscating her birth control and casting it into the wind), finally convincing her by threatening to send her home to her mother. Having gotten his way, Tyler, riding a balloon of cocaine up into the stratosphere, sat down and watched the doctors carry out the procedure.

Holcomb went on to happily marry another man and become a mother of seven. Tyler went on to feature his teenage daughter in an overtly sexual music video.

Now, it’s important to note that Tyler’s version of events — namely, that Holcomb was a repeated-abortion-having sexual pincushion — was written with the intent of achieving bestseller status, while Holcomb’s version was published on a website with an obvious pro-life political agenda. So the whole truth probably lies somewhere in between. Still, when you’re placing someone on a scale from “massive douche” to “the black douche-hole at the center of the galaxy,” you’re really splitting hairs.

 

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Ambria – Chapter 6 – Top Secret

Went on my third date with Ambria today. Normally your typical date lasts a couple of hours and off you go. Well not with this one.

She’s off on Mondays and Tuesdays so I planned a lunch date with her for Monday. I thought the usual Monday move of Cavanaugh’s Rittenhouse, because it’s half off cheesesteak day. But I changed my mind, and thought I should take her somewhere else a little more interesting. I know she goes on the restaurant’s website and checks out the menu and Cavanaugh’s is just simple bar food and sandwiches. I need to take her somewhere with a little more flair. I change the venue to Devil’s Alley. I let her know that morning and she replies in text that the food looks good. So I’ve made a good choice.

Devil’s Alley has sumptuous southern cuisine. The dining room on the main floor is spacious, and they can open the front  in nice weather. There is a bar upstairs and more tables near the front. They can also open that in nice weather. The rest of the floor is a long row of two tops along the wall all the way to the back where they have one big long banquet table. I hear the owner is a tyrant, but the food is always consistently delicious and the serving staff and bartenders are always really nice.

I had been running around right before that, and arrive at 12:45 and snag a quiet table upstairs. She’s in touch and tells me she’s getting off the train and is on her way over to the restaurant.

Instead of being 45 minutes late like last Wednesday night (I know, nurse stuff. All is forgiven) She comes up the steps and back to my table. I stand and give her a hug and a peck on the cheek. We sit and I look at my phone. 12:59. Well done Ambria. You made it.

The server, CJ comes over and is great. Sweet guy with good energy. Twenties. Probably working his way through college. I know what we must order first. The spicy dry rub wings. It’s six delicious morsels of amazingness. Ambria has to try these bad boys. They’re like nothing else in the city.

She orders the Satan’s Cooler. This is a crisp vodka driven cocktail with hints of fruit. I order a Diet Coke. It’s her day off, so it’s like her Saturday. It’s my real Monday and it’s a bit early for me to start hitting the sauce. She doesn’t know it yet, but I plan on spending some time with this lady today. Let’s see what happens. I said I wanted to get to know her better, and putting in solid time with her we can learn quite a bit.

She loves the spicy wings as I knew she would. Everybody I bring here loves them. When my friend Duncan comes to visit, he always gets two orders of them… and he lives in the South! They’re consistently that good.

She follows that up with the B.L.T and I hit the pulled pork sandwich, which is always good. Normally I go with a little hot sauce on the side, but I’m on a date, and I don’t want to be running to the bathroom and then coming back with tears in my eyes later.

Our lovely lunch lasts until 2:30, which is good. Hour and a half. Service was great and so was the food and especially the company. I have such good rapport with this girl.

We split the bill down the middle and head outside. It’s spitting a little still, but it’s not bad. She asks what we’re doing now, and I tell her I have some ideas. She asks if we can just walk a bit. She starts to realize we’re going to hang out some more. That was my plan all along. I tell her I know a spot where we can chill out until the rain subsides.

I take her over to Sofitel. She’s never been there. The Liberte Lounge is such a chill spot. I like hanging out there whether it’s at the bar or the lounge. We both realize how chilly it is in there. I think other people notice it as well. We move up to a pair of seats by the front windows so we can people watch.

This very nice French gentleman comes over and asks if we’d like something to drink. It’s 3pm so technically I should be good to go. We ask to see drink menus but I know I want a glass of chardonnay with a side of ice. She goes with the rose. We sit and chat and sip those two glasses for over two hours. That is highly irregular for me. I can drink oceans of chardonnay in no time flat. But it’s a lovely segue to happy hour. We’re in a different state of mind than last Wednesday. She was late, and stressed from work and wanted a pitcher of margaritas.  I was down for that, but today is just gently unrolling before us.

After about an hour of sipping our single glasses of wine, (Which she insists on paying for) we head across the street to Square 1682. My boy Roman is working the bar so the hook up will be happening. Ambria can’t believe I’m getting the hook up, but I tell her I’ve been coming here for a long time and it’s a good deal for everybody.

But after one drink we decide to go over to Dan Dan to see my buddy Chet and get some chicken pot stickers and whatever else she wants. I would have stayed at Square, but for some reason my Spider Sense was tingling and I just wanted to get out of there for some reason. Like I was going to run into someone I didn’t want to run into.

So I pay the bill and we walk a block over to 16th street to Dan Dan. It’s a great little spot and my buddy Chet is always good for keeping happy hour going for me anytime I go there. We get the pot stickers and some drinks.

This has been a lovely day with this lady. She’s sweet and funny, and I love the sound of her voice. It’s soft and warm. Just like her. I can’t believe my good fortune. Lightning has struck and it’s beautiful.

We stay for a bit and then it’s time for her to go home. I’m tired too after our nine hour date. It’s been glorious.

We kiss a bit while waiting for her UBER. It’s like our lips were made for each other. The car comes and off she goes until next time. I’m glad we’re taking it slow and dating each other. I can feel the pressure building in her. The desire rising to the surface.

Soon.

 

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Maria – Chapter 6 – She Has Returned To Me

After my successful coffee meet up a few weeks ago with my muse. I told her to come in for a tanning session before she goes to Florida.

“Thanks for meeting me for coffee today. It was great seeing you! I’ll get you a link to my blog. See you Saturday!”

“Yesss coffee was good. Thanks! See ya then! Send me the addy so I don’t get lost lol.”

I send her the link to my blog. This is so exciting. The girl who inspired me to write again will get to read about herself on the very platform that she inspired!

Saturday rolls around and I’m working at the salon.

“What time are you in today?”

“11 to 5”

I love that Maria is coming in to tan. She comes in and we chit-chat. It’s always great to see her and talk to my muse. She wants to get a base for her trip to Florida. She buys a 5 pack which is great because she can do a couple of sessions before her trip and use the rest to maintain her color when she gets back. (And I get to see her 4 more times!)

She does her session and heads out. I figure that would be it. She’d pop in occasionally and brighten my day. I was satisfied just having coffee with her last week. Just to reconnect with her and actually hang out with her was brilliant.

But a few weeks pass and I’m sitting at my desk at home writing. It was probably around midnight when her text comes in.

“Hey Charles, I know you said you don’t do social media. Not sure if you keep up with the news but the restaurant where I work is closed down for a few months due to the fire next door. We are not only taking money donations but any donation to be raffled would be raffled would be greatly appreciated.”

Of course I’m going to spring into action. Maria needs my help!

“I read about the fire in the news and immediately thought of you. What can we do to help? What will you do financially? Are you available to meet up to discuss this week?”

“Def sucks. I’m waiting to hear back from a couple of places. Anything honestly. We can since I have so much time now.”

“Alright. I’m going to hit up all my contacts up to get you some shifts. Can you meet up on Monday at noon?”

“Yea I’ll take anything. I babysat tonight. Just trying to be optimistic. Yeah I can do that.”

“I’ve placed a few friends in jobs. I’m so sorry this happened. I’ll start making calls tomorrow. Meet me at Cavanaugh’s Rittenhouse Monday at noon.”

“Sounds like a plan. They are actually donating to the raffle.”

“Okay I’ll talk to my partner at the salon as well. Come in and tan if you want today. I’ll be there from 11 to 4, if not see you Monday at Cav’s. I’m sure we can find you something!”

“Awesome. I really hate asking for any help honestly. I’m going to Chop tomorrow to visit my relative, but yea def Monday. Thanks again Charles!”

“I’m on it. I’ll call everybody I know in the hospitality industry to help you. No worries.”

The next day I send her a bunch of names and places she can apply. She’s very grateful. I tell her not to worry if some of the spots I send her are places she’s not interested in. She can pick and choose what places she thinks she’d like work. I’ll just keep sending. I’m just happy to help her.

Monday I’m sitting at my table in the back of Cavanaugh’s. Maria rolls in and as usual I am delighted to see her.

Maria always looks beautiful.

I feel bad for her misfortune but it wasn’t anything she did that’s put her in this predicament. The building next door to where she works burned down! It may be months before they open again.

I order my usual Monday special the 1/2 off cheese steak. Maria goes with the turkey burger.

We talk about her current situation. I tell her I’ll keep asking around to all of my contacts in the industry. I also tell her that I’ll get her a gift card to the salon that she can raffle off. She’s happy about that. She’s really been working hard to raise money for their event.

I ask her when it is and she tells me they are having it on Sunday. I tell her I can’t attend because I have to work that day. But if she sends me the link to where I can buy a ticket, I’ll purchase one just to make a donation to support her cause.

Maria is stressed about being three months away from graduating from college with her degree in Marketing, and now she has to find another server job to pay the bills. There’s also her relative that’s in Children’s Hospital. That and her own stomach disorders. Poor thing!

I can relate with all my stomach disorders. So at least we have that in common and can discuss our challenges.

She tells me more about this guy that’s she’s dating. He’s one of the managing partners of the restaurant where she worked. Okay, I know they say never shit where you eat, or don’t dip your pen in the company’s ink. But we’ve all done it. You spend a great deal of your waking hours with your co-workers. You all have a common goal and share the same mission in your daily lives. It’s very common for there to be workplace romance.

But an owner and a server? That doesn’t sit right with me. He has the power to fire her at anytime. I’m not saying that would happen. But she’s entered into a romantic relationship that if it goes badly, could put her in the unemployment line.

There’s no harassment suit because she entered into that relationship as a willing partner.

But it’s none of my business. She’s an adult and a survivor. She’s tough and she’ll figure it out. I respect that about her.

Then she tells me an interesting story. She said she wrote in to some online publication about her relationship with this gentleman. They actually changed her name to ‘Kristen” and published it. She wants to share it with me.

I get really excited at the prospect of publishing the story on Phicklephilly. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve posted a dating story by one of my followers on this blog. But not by my muse! Not a dating story by the girl who inspired me to create this blog. That’s internet gold to me. I’m honored to publish something Maria wrote!

So if she sends me the link, I’ll post it in the next installment of this little saga.

After lunch, (Of course I pay, and I really want to because my friend is not working. Girl’s gotta eat!) we walk along Sansom street. I’m looking at her, with the tawny highlights in her luxurious dark mane. I’m listening to her words and I’m happy just to be walking down the street with Maria.

She’s going to stop in at Harp and Crown and see if they’re hiring. I’ve got to get to the salon. We promise to text later about what we spoke about and I wish her luck.

We hug and off she goes. I turn and head down 16th street. I light a post lunch/Maria encounter celebratory cig and smile in the afternoon sun.

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Cherie – Chapter 37 – Four to Eight – Part Two

Cherie talked to her sister about bringing me to Thanksgiving. That’s a world away, but I want to go. Cherie says not the full family, because she doesn’t want to drive me away, but I’m fine with whatever. I love her and I’ll bite that apple and be glorious and charming. (As long as her retired Navy officer dad is cool with an older white guy loving his hot daughter)

I think he’ll be happy that she has chosen well and I’m good to her.

We leave Mix and walk back to the house.

We get to the bat cave and we go back to my bedroom. She notices that since the last time she was here she said she like Twix an York Peppermint Patties. I now have them in a little basket on her side of the bed.

Guys, It’s these little things you have to do to let your lady know you listen to her and love her. If there is a little thing she loves, Do it!

It’s a big deal to them. It’s a little bag of candy. It’s a coffee. Do it. Huge payoff. She’ll know you heard her and made a special trip to the store to please her. She may not even partake in the gift, but the fact that you heard her and made a special trip to the store to get her something she likes goes a long away.

That’s tiny romance, with a huge payoff, lads.

I got baby until tomorrow, so I’m taking my time. Hanging in bed with her, and chatting. I’m trying to be good, but I want her. But there is plenty of time. We’ve got all night. I’m just happy to be holding her and kissing her sweet lips.

I joke that she always says that because our time is so limited that she always ends up “nekkid on her back” I want to just hang with her for a bit and chat.

Cherie says that she wants me to take her jeans off and get down to business.

I’m always compliant.

And so is Cherie.

So magic ensues. It’s always amazing. That’s the only way I can describe it. I love her. I devour her. I am honored to worship at the temple of Cherie. She’s beautiful and perfect. There is no real perfection, But our machine runs like a Swiss watch made of flesh.

The window is open. My neighbors get the honor of hearing what it feels like to be alive and in absolute love. This is what real life sounds like. Go ahead. Turn a hose on us.

You all want this.

Everybody wants this ethereal magic. This celebration of the only possession we came into the world with that we choose to share with someone we love.

That’s it. When Joe Perry hits that screaming high note in “Train kept a Rollin’, That’s the moment.

Later, I’m laying back on my bed with my fresh royal blue sheets, and she is ripping into a Twix.

“So I’ll set the alarm for 6:30am tomorrow so we can get up maybe go again and then breakfast at Midtown Diner?”

“What?”

“Yea, we can fool around whenever you choose over the next 10 hours but I’ll get you fed ,and up and out in time for your train tomorrow morning.”

“When I said I had to be on an 8:30 train, I meant tonight.”

“Wait. What?”

“Oh my God. I feel like and asshole.”

“What?”

“I have to leave tonight. I have to be on a train at 8:30 tonight.”

“But usually when you come down you stay the night and you leave the next morning.”

“I know, and I know it’s been three weeks, but I know I could come down here on Sunday just to see for a few hours. That’s why I was wondering why you took me out for pizza. I thought you would just bring me home and fuck me.”

“Aww jeezuss honey. I thought we had all night so I wanted to feed you so you wouldn’t feel like you were just the nekkid girl always on your back lately with me. I know we love that and so do I, but I figured I had some time with you and we could at least share a meal together.”

“Oh… I’m so sorry, I feel like such an asshole.”

“No honey, it’s just a miscommunication. You didn’t know. Remember what we said about assuming? We make an ass of you and me.”

She almost looked like she was starting to cry.

I can’t have that with my beloved Cherie.

This is what makes her the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with.

(Yea, I fuckin’ said that.)

She’s lying naked in bed with me. This gorgeous delicious baby. I adore her and am sometimes dumbfounded that she would even be attracted to a middle-aged white dude that is on the precipice of greatness or failure. (Apparently I carry a bag of charm with me)

“Oh my God, I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid.”

“Honey it’s okay. It’s just a miscommunication. I understand. I just assumed you were staying the night because you said 8:30 train. I just assumed tomorrow morning like always.

“I have to get my kid off to school and then I have to go to school and work.”

She was visually upset. She was so disappointed in herself for failing me I could feel it. It was a visceral moment. It showed me that she felt her confused struggling life had leaked over into our life.

But it hadn’t. I wouldn’t have to take melatonin or sleep meds to sleep because she would pass out after our marathon lovemaking at 8:30pm and I would be wide until midnight. I wouldn’t be reading articles on the internet because I was so wired from our sex and just on a different schedule than this neuroscience major mom.

I reassured her I was fine with the misunderstanding. She was upset. She had felt like she had failed me.

I’ve never experienced this sort of heartfelt charity in a girlfriend.

She can never fail me, because I am so grateful this wonderful woman is in my life.

But she doesn’t understand.

I am so grateful that she has chosen to love me, she can do no wrong.

She sees it as a failure. She loves me and doesn’t want to disappoint me or fail me.

Cherie really loves me. I know it.

I continue to reassure and joke with her.

It’s really okay. I am honored I had the time with her that I had. I love her so much.

I love her more for her critical thinking and heartfelt response.

She’ll go home thinking she failed me, but she hasn’t. She’s actually made it stronger and better, because she cares for me so much she got so upset that she thought she had failed me.

Cherie can’t fail me. Like Michelle couldn’t fail me. I’ve never been angry with either of them.

I can never sustain anger for girl I really and truly love no matter what they do.

If you really love someone, sometimes mistakes just bring you closer.

Can’t wait to see her again to see “Pirates of the Caribbean 5 this weekend!

Ain’t love grand?

 

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Cherie – Chapter 36 – Four to Eight – Part One

So baby’s coming down on Sunday to see me. We both have crazy busy schedules. But we make it work and I like it. I like the distance between the pillars that support the temple of our relationship. I’ve never had that. It’s always been the traditional American bullshit progression that goes nowhere and ends in failure. This actually works really well for me. I love intense bursts of energy with my friends but then I like to be alone for a while. It’s inevitable right now based on where we both are in our lives and it’s working beautifully. I love it.

She says she’ll be down around 4:30pm on Sunday.

Cool.

I get done at the salon at 4. She says she has to be on an 8:30 train back to Pottstown. I’m thinking, perfect. Come down early Sunday, I’ll feed her and give her some dinner, and then tomorrow we’ll get up early, I’ll take her to breakfast and she’ll be on a train back home or to school, and I’ll be writing this blog getting the 1/2 off cheesteak by noon on Monday at my local haunt.

I finish up at the salon, and we meet up on the street after she gets off the train. I take her to Mix Pizza, because I know she loves that place from our early encounters.

We get there and instead of sitting in the back bar, we sit in the main dining room. We order a 12 inch pie that is just enough for the both of us. We’ll murder that tiny pie. She likes extra cheese, and I’m okay with that because she wants that but I know that dairy will fuck with my stomach. But I don’t care. I love her. If that’s what baby wants, that’s fine.

Our waitress is banged up. I don’t mean drunk, I mean it looks like she was in a car accident or is a victim of domestic violence.

We can’t say anything even though I want to so badly. Puffy eye, cuts and bruises on her. I’m feeling sad and concerned. I have three sisters a daughter and a girlfriend. If I know a man raised his hand to my waitress I’ll have a hit put out his worthless ass.

But Cherie tells me to behave. We’ll get our little brick oven fresh pizza and go home.

She brings out not a 12 inch pizza, not the next size up, but the biggest fucking pizza they make with extra cheese. The order is wrong, I’m tired from work and I know I’m going to spend some quality time in the bathroom. But I’m happy to be sitting across from my queen and I’m okay.

I make some jokes to her about why the order is wrong to Cherie and why our server got beat up.

“Because she doesn’t listen.” (Kidding. I feel bad for her. Maybe she just fell off her bicycle.)

“I will kick you so hard under the table your mom will feel it, if you don’t stop.”

I always make jokes when I’m sad or suffering for someone, to ease the tension in my heart, and Cherie knows this but she just wants me to stop.

(I did make a few more. Just to deal with it, and I love to watch her lovely dark almond eyes narrow and tell me to shut up.)

She knows I’m kidding. She knows me and knows I feel for this girl, and hates the fact that she is feeling what she’s feeling from my dark jest.

When I’m scared or sad I always joke to deal with my anxiety, sadness or depression. It’s a combative mechanism to help me deal with life.

We have a nice dinner and she’s happy. I love her braids. I hope they last all summer. Every time I see her, she seems more beautiful to me. She’s already gorgeous, but I am falling deeper in love with her soul. Her spirit. Her voice. Her mind. Her heart.

Cherie is a complex, beautiful human being that has come a long way at her ripe 27 years. I love her sweet calm with me. I love her wise maturity. I love that she is a parent like myself. She’s always struggling with what we all do with work, children and education, but she does it as a woman. My relationship with her has redefined me as an adult. I continue to evolve. She makes me grow as a man. I love that I continue to evolve. My life is changing.

I’m about to open a new business in Rittenhouse. If it’s successful, it will change my life dramatically. It will mean I can do more for my daughter Lorelei and change her life too. I’m beginning to think that sitting at Square 1682 getting cheap drinks and hanging with the same cast of characters is a waste of my talent.

I like these people but I think our time together is a bit of a waste of time. Nice people, but I’m carrying a lot of their water on my ship. I appreciate them.

I do. But I think I am growing out and away from them.

Just evolving as usual. It happens.

I was sitting at the bar the other night at Square and as usual I am loving the bartender Roman. He’s glorious. He is what I need him to be and he knows that. I take care of him. He’s amazing. He’s a husband and a dad and we have a history that is connected.

But I looked to the friend to the right of me and I started to see that I don’t need to do this anymore. The game is changing.

I’m changing.

There’s no value in this anymore. She has positioned herself with someone I no longer speak with and I know is nuts and has hurt my friend Alice.

I look to my left and here is my other friend. A lost confused damaged soul that can’t get out of his own fucking way to do go forward.

What am I doing here?

I was at City Hall today with my business partner getting our permit to open our fitness center.

That’s what I need to focus on. Going forward and building a business.

This happens throughout ones life if you continue to evolve. They come in and visit for a while and then they have to go because you grow beyond them. I think I need to faze them out. I may or may not do that, but I need to withdrawal from their stagnant drama.

I used to be in the public eye all of the time. Blowing up social media constantly. Many people and beautiful women basked in my light and I was just left with the hangover.

It’s okay. I had a great time but I’m getting older and I just can’t carry their weight anymore.

I want to build something.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, share, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am EST.

 

Why Romantic Love Can’t Last Forever and How to Save Your Relationship When It’s Gone

cientists are adamant: our feelings and the logic of love development are tightly connected with biochemical processes in our bodies. Even if we wanted this amazing passionate feeling to last forever, our body wouldn’t be able to cope with it.

Beautiful Girl found out why the feeling of falling in love always fades away and how we can save our relationship when the hormonal cocktail stops working.

4. We experience euphoria when we fall in love.

Why Romantic Love Can’t Last Forever and How to Save Your Relationship When It’s Gone

Scientists think that the euphoria that is triggered by passion, has a lot in common with the feeling that addicts experience after taking another dose of their chosen drug. This is a conclusion made by neuroscientists Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki from University College London.

This effect appears because the brain and adrenal glands produce the hormone noradrenaline. This same hormone is produced after cocaine or heroin intake. A person that is in love feels the need to meet their partner more and more because they want to experience that high.

3. When we fall in love, there is a hormonal cocktail in our body.

Why Romantic Love Can’t Last Forever and How to Save Your Relationship When It’s Gone

When we fall in love, several chemical processes in our brain occur that make us disregard our partner’s drawbacks. We also feel that our life is great only with our beloved and we depend on them emotionally. Hormones play a really important role here.

Oxytocin is responsible for emotional attachment and contributes to the deep emotional connection between partners. If the hypothalamus produces enough oxytocin, your stress levels decrease and the desire becomes even more intense.

Vasopressin is responsible for fidelity, a desire to take care of each other, and like oxytocin, emotional attachment.

Dopamine is the hormone of pleasure. Its production contributes to delightful and pleasant feelings. This hormone makes us feel high and it’s produced in great quantities when we eat or make love.

Serotonin is responsible for our ability to experience pleasure, it cheers us up, and improves the quality of our sexual life.

Cortisol is called the stress hormone and, according to several researchers, its levels are really high at the beginning of each relationship.

Our dependence on the chemistry of love grows stronger because of pheromones. Pheromones are produced by our body’s sweat glands (both men’s and women’s) and affect the receptors of the olfactory system.

This hormonal cocktail causes several physiological reactions like excessive sweating, rapid heartbeat, pupil dilation, sleep disorders, and loss of appetite.

2. Why can’t the feeling of falling in love last forever?

Why Romantic Love Can’t Last Forever and How to Save Your Relationship When It’s Gone

Biological rules are strict: our amorousness is just a fleeting chemical process that lasts for a maximum of 3 years.

During evolution, human beings needed it to survive. It would have been hard for our ancestors to take care of children, find food, and protect themselves if they were all alone. The feeling of falling in love helped couples stay together for the sake of their child’s survival. And as the child grew up, this feeling faded away.

In less than 3 years, nerve endings become almost insensitive to the production of these hormones. Also, the hormones themselves are produced in a much lower concentration. The brain function becomes stable, it starts working regularly, and hormones stop stimulating the couple’s emotional attachment.

1. Are all of our relationships doomed?

Why Romantic Love Can’t Last Forever and How to Save Your Relationship When It’s Gone

The period of falling in love is stressful for our body. A quiet rhythm is actually more effective for us. True love probably begins when the hormonal cocktail stops working.

Scientists have found that the attachment feeling that makes us live with our partner for a long period of time is related to oxytocin and vasopressin. The level of oxytocin rises when people hug, have sex, kiss, or just chat.

So here’s the conclusion: touches and tenderness are the best way to maintain long-term relationships. And don’t forget to keep up the ability to listen, express your gratitude, come to compromises, overcome conflicts, and move forward together.

Would you like the stupefying feeling of falling in love to last forever?

 

Why Romantic Love Can’t Last Forever and How to Save Your Relationship When It’s Gone

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