Theresa – Halloween

 

Here’s another random blast from the distant past…

There was a girl at the place I worked. She claimed she had an abusive boyfriend. I encouraged her to leave him because she didn’t deserve that. She says she left him and needs someone to talk to. We go out a few times. We start seriously dating. We have a stupid five month anniversary date planned for Halloween.

She calls and says she can’t make it on account of work and will be too tired afterwards. The next day she calls me over to talk. (That’s never good) When I get there she informs me that she wasn’t at work she was fucking her ex all day and they’re getting back together. We get into a shouting match. She’s not responsible; Bullshit. They have history; Yeah, he hit her. He never really hit her; Lying snake. Why am I so mad; Because she’s a trollop. And so on. I left (Yes, in the heat of the moment I wanted to hit her. (Not really!) That’s why I left. Should I be applauded for that? No, it’s just something that happened. I shouldn’t have ever admitted to feeling anything. I’m sorry.) and she spent the day begging me to come back. I refused to speak to her because I was angry and confused and needed some space.

Naturally when she can’t reach me she calls into work and claims I sexually assaulted her. I don’t know this, go to work, and get taken aside. The company is concerned about the allegations and wants to call the cops. I swear it was an ongoing relationship, completely consensual, and they didn’t need to call the cops. They point out we’re still both employees and the company can’t have us both working there if it is true. There are liabilities to consider and the police will sort everything out. I’ll just sit in jail for a couple of days while they do that. So, I offer to quit in exchange for them not calling the police as I really didn’t want to go to jail. I was in an independent contractor position. I didn’t even really work for them. The company didn’t need to get involved. This is a private issue. They agree and let me go under the condition that if they ever see me again they’re calling the cops on me for harassing her. I go home, crawl into bed and pray for death.

A little less than a week later she emails to tell me her boyfriend told her she couldn’t see me so she wants to see me to make sure I’m okay. I explain that I’m not okay because she is a lying cheating whore who ruined my life and I wish all the evil in the world upon her (Yes, including that her boyfriend would actually beat her to death. It’s shocking I know but I liked her less now than before and was still hurt so I said mean things to her. I’m literally Hitler and Satan’s bastard child right?) and want nothing to do with her. She claims nothing that happened was her fault, he made her say I raped her, and the beatings have gotten worse. I din’t respond.

 

 

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Phicklephilly – Summer of Loss and Lust

Cherie is in Japan with her family. They are going to visit her brother and his wife. He works in Navy intelligence. So we can’t talk about what he does over there in Asia. I miss her and she’s having a wonderful time over there with her family. I hope they are all safe but I’m sure they are protected by the US military. This is the last time they will all be able to go visit him as a family before the Navy ships him back here stateside. I think it’s great.

While she’s in Japan with her family, I’m  here in Philly just working my butt off. My birthday and our 10 month anniversary is approaching and I don’t even care. My buddy Church just told me to come to Square 1682 at 8:30 on Wednesday so I guess I’ll go there. I’m not into my birthday as I get older so I don’t really want to celebrate it but if there is a party, I’m down. It’s really sweet of him.

I’ve been working non-stop at the salon just to hold it together but I love my work there. Hopefully the gym will be open by Labor day. It’s been an interesting summer and I’ve been happier and more calm and centered than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m glad all of my friendships, family and work stuff is hitting on all cylinders. I’m not suffering any fallout from the loss of Ambria and everything between me and Cherie has been sweet magic as always. She continues to delight and amaze me with energy and sexual prowess.

I write a dating blog. I went into this just to tell my stories. I was single and loved a bunch of waitresses but then I got into my past relationships and it grew. I needed material for the blog, so I went on a bunch of dating sites.

I went on a lot of dates and saw the bottom of the online dating world. I tried dating women my ages and older and it was just a boring expensive waste of time.
I have too much to give.

I met Cherie and she’s been amazing. I love her so much and think I could have a long-term relationship with her, She’s a wonderful woman. But to support the blog I stayed on all of the dating sites just to gather information to keep writing. I figured my relationship series would carry it forward but it wasn’t enough.

I could hear my father’s voice in my head. “Anything worth doing is worth over doing.”
I’ve got to create more content. Better stories. I’ve got to make this the best blog because of my low self-esteem.

I continued searching even though I had a lovely distant girlfriend that seemed the perfect match for me. Zero maintenance, sexy and wanted no more kids.

Then the Ambria affair. I’ll probably lose followers because many of the women will think I’m a schmuck. But that affair makes for good content.

I was neglecting my contact with Cherie because I was playing kissy face with Ambria. I’ve patched things up with my girlfriend. She was putting up the wall to protect her heart and was worried about the relationship.
I fixed it. Everything’s amazing and loving again.

 

 

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Murder Mystery Weekend – Chapter 8

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=264

 

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Will Living With My Best Friend Ruin Our Relationship? Here’s How To Make Sure It Doesn’t

When the time comes to search for a roommate, you might get the bright idea of forgoing the risk of living with a stranger, and opt to live with your very own best friend instead. Initially, it sounds like an amazing idea: You guys already know you’re obsessed with each other, so what’s the worst thing that can happen? Well, there’s always the chance that living with your best friend could hurt your relationship, and depending on the people involved in the situation, it may not work out for the best.

“For many, living with your best friend sounds like a dream come true, and it can be,” Doctor Lindsay Henderson, Psy.D., a psychologist who treats patients virtually via telehealth app LiveHealth Online, says in an interview with Elite Daily. “But it can also be a challenge, as any roommate situation presents many hurdles to work through.”

It might be easier, Henderson points out, to talk about your frustration over the mess in the kitchen with someone you aren’t going to happy hour with later that evening, you know? Plus, if this is your first time searching for a roommate to live with, she explains, you might discover along the way that you’re actually someone who values and prefers the quiet and alone time you’d get from co-existing with someone who’s only an acquaintance to you, as opposed to hanging out around the clock with your live-in bestie.

“It’s important to recognize that friendship dynamics and living dynamics can vary greatly,” Henderson tells Elite Daily.

Basically, just because your friendship is effortless, does not mean the same will apply to your living situation.

When you’re entering a living situation with your best friend, Henderson says, things can get super casual, super fast. You guys are really comfortable with one another, so the rules about how to clean the apartment, how to pay the bills, etc. can all slide out the window in the blink of an eye.

“As with any new co-habitating situation, whether your roommate is a stranger or your lifelong best friend, it is important to have an open and honest conversation about boundaries, expectations, and rules before moving in together,” Henderson advises.

Even if you feel like you and your best friend know each other inside and out, and you click on just about every level of your friendship, it’s crucial to acknowledge this decision to move in together as the pretty monumental thing that it is.

“The idea [of], ‘we are best friends, we will just figure it out,’ is dangerous,” Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and host of The Web Radio Show, tells me. “As best friends, you are in a position to set rules in a more comfortable way, but don’t let your comfort with one another underestimate the challenge that living together poses.”

Basically, as awkward as it may seem to lay out solid ground rules with your best friend, it’s important to view your living situation as a contract, or a new business endeavor, Klapow says. Communication is the secret to success in anyliving situation.

“Talk it out,” he says. “Set the boundaries versus assuming you’ll [both] recognize them.”

The tricky thing is, though, your idea of fair boundaries may clash with your BFF’s perspective on the subject. For instance, you might think it’s no big deal to have your SO sleep over a couple nights a week, but your bestie might think that’s crossing a line, and that your partner should be expected to chip in with bills and groceries if they stay over regularly.

These things need to be discussed when you move in with anyone, but since your potential new roomie is also your best friend, these disagreements could create tension in your relationship.

“It is not unusual to disagree with your best friend when you are sharing the same living space,” Henderson tells Elite Daily. “Even though it can be awkward, it is always best to have a direct conversation about any issues that do come up.”

She strongly urges you to have these conversations with your ride-or-die in person, as opposed to over text or phone call. Even if you guys are used to having novel-length, heart-to-heart exchanges over text, Henderson says it’s important to get used to communicating face-to-face as you approach this new living situation.

“[Texting] can be OK for little things,” she explains, “but it is easy to become less effective in written communications (i.e. passive aggressive or angry), and the tone of a note or text can often be misinterpreted.”

If you do find yourself knee-deep in a tense disagreement about your living situation with your BFF-turned-roomie, Henderson says there are healthy ways to resolve things and keep the peace.

“Begin the conversation by recognizing what is going well in the living situation, and what you appreciate about living with them,” she says. “Then, ask for feedback about what you are inadvertently doing that irks them.”

More often than not, Henderson says, you and your friend are both doing or saying things that are getting on one another’s nerves, but neither of you realizes how your behavior is coming off to the other person. For example, you may have been so focused on the leftover dishes your bestie left in the sink, that you had no idea she’s actually been cleaning out the fridge every single week (and is low-key annoyed that you haven’t thanked her for doing that).

Basically, Henderson says, try to stay as calm and level-headed as possible when giving your friend some feedback about their behavior, even if you feel really heated on the inside.

“Be ready with specific ways you would like things to change, and if appropriate, tell them why this is important to you, or how it may be affecting your relationship,” Henderson tells Elite Daily.

Bottom line: Besties can live happily ever after — sometimes. But, just to play devil’s advocate here, let’s say you and your best friend took the plunge, moved in together, applied all of these healthy strategies to a T, and things stillcrashed and burned. Then what?

How do you salvage the friendship if things ultimately don’t work out between you and your BFF-turned-roomie?

“Unfortunately, not all roommate situations are meant to be,” says Henderson. “If you have made every effort to set clear expectations and boundaries, you have prioritized what is important to you, and practiced picking your battles, and yet you’re still left feeling unhappy in your living situation, it may be time to look for alternatives.”

It won’t be easy, but Klapow says it’s important to remember that “living together is testing your relationship and friendship,” and when it comes down to it, you have to accept that this fallout does not have to mean you aren’t best friends, or that your friendship is automatically ruined. It simply means, Klapow explains, that you are best friends, who simply don’t do well living together.

Acknowledge that things just aren’t working, he says, and remind yourselves you can choose to stop living together before the relationship completely fizzles out.

Henderson agrees, adding that, if things do go sour in the end, you may need some time apart to heal and forgive — and that’s OK. Don’t be afraid to give each other this space, she advises. Good friends will usually find their way back to each other.

 

Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on this post!

 

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A Unique Gift – Chapter 6

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=87

 

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Chapter 3 – Big Night Out In Atlanta

Things were good. Frank and I were chilling at his Aunt’s house in Atlanta and enjoying our time reconnecting. But I was itching to get back on the road. Frank’s Uncle came to visit and said he wanted to take us out. I’m fresh out of the nest at 19 and Frank is a world traveler at 21, so we’re down for anything. I can’t believe how many Irish people have relatives and friends scattered all over the globe.

The first place we go to is this cool country bar. We’re drinking beers and eating food and all is right with the world. This guy comes out, sits on a stool and plays original songs. I remember him being really good. It was a good warm up to the night ahead.

Then his uncle says he’s taking us somewhere else.

I’ve been to Baltimore and Washington DC, but not really anywhere else. I lived with my parents before this. This is the furthest I’ve ever been away from home in my life. I’m happy I have Frank with me, because he’s my security. I’m just a scared musician with anxiety and depression I barely even know I have. My mom made me three square meal a day my whole life. I have no clue as to what the world is.

Travel is so broadening. The world is such a bigger package than most people ever realize. All you know is your little world. But I know this journey is going to fundamentally change me. It’s something that has to happen. Leaving home was hard enough. I was terrified traveling all of that way by myself. None of my friends are doing anything like this. Just me. I’m different. I’m not but I know at that moment I’m different from all of them. I’ve always walked among them but never really joined them. This trip is proof of that. I have to learn to crawl towards the things that frighten me. Frank has no problem with anything. He’s a solid, bright guy. I’m just a skinny nothing. I don’t want to go to college like my sister Janice. I just want to go out into the world and find out who the hell I am.

Maybe music will carry me forth.

I just needed to get away from the dead-end existence of living in Wildwood. That’s a fun place in the summer, but nowhere to raise your kids if they’re from a major city. The winter is and empty desolate place where most of the people who live there are business owners that make a nice living and they spoil their children. The kids grow up in wealth but are bored out of their minds. I saw more drug abuse and teen pregnancy in that town than when I was back in Philly growing up.

Do I love that I got to spend every summer in the 70’s at the shore? Damn straight. It was amazing! Nobody on my block got to do that. Only us. So it set us apart from our neighbors in Lawndale. We didn’t care. We didn’t know. We were just kids. It’s something we just looked forward to and did every summer.

But Janice going off to college and me having to take my senior year at Wildwood High was just some self-serving selfish shit on the part of my father. But I’ve covered that already.

I’m happy to be on the road and free of the trappings of my parents existence. I’m sure Janice had her own awakening at college and so did little Gabrielle. We all made our way in different ways.

I’m here to be open and brave.

Here we go.

Frank’s uncle takes us to a place called the Pussycat Lounge. I don’t know what that is but it sounds sexy.

We go in and there are naked women dancing onstage.

My brain explodes.

I had never experienced anything like this in my life. I’ve heard about it and seen scenes like this in a movie but never the real thing. Back then I was still wet behind the ears. It was fascinating to see naked women before my eyes. Getting out in the world was an exciting adventure. They didn’t have anything like that anywhere I grew up. In between the girls dancing, there was this comedian that would come out and tell dirty jokes. He was really funny. Normally it takes a lot to make me laugh, but this dude killed.

Frank, his uncle and I had a great night out. I was still reeling from seeing that many naked girls standing right in front of me that night. When you’re young, and you see something like that for the first time it has incredible euphoric power.

I slept well that night and was still excited about what was next in the coming days.

 

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The Dark Side of Valentine’s Day – Paulette – Check Before You Dive

STOP. This post is NSFW.

But you can read it here:

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=818

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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