Kita – Chapter 42 – Yellow Fever

While baby’s away in Florida, she’s been on my mind and I’ve been thinking about my attraction to women. Asian women in particular. I love all women of all races but find Asian women especially bewitching.

These days you can’t get anywhere with out someone being called out for having yellow fever. Lets talk about what it means honestly, without resorting to ugly name-calling that usually comes out of discussions around this subject.

The term’s been around for a while and is similar to the derisory term Jungle Fever to describe white women who are attracted to black men. That term has largely disappeared but the term Yellow Fever has really sunk in and become a well-known term not used exclusively by Asian women, although most of them are no doubt aware of the phenomenon.

Let’s be 100% clear on one thing: the Interracial Asian/Caucasian couples which are so frequent these days are the total opposite of the cliche of the THAI bride (typically married to an older western man, usually unattractive and with limited options),since the women are from the same backgrounds, similarly educated, etc. Unfortunately, people still have the idea that western men are exploiting so-called submissive Asian women?

Unfortunately the submissive Asian woman is largely a result of Confucian culture in which women are raised to respect men and follow orders from them. No doubt there are some men who will find this behavior attractive and this may be the reason why they are more taken by Asian women.

It must be admitted here that many men find American society to be incredibly rights based and libertarian. you can’t say or do anything without someone being offended. This has truly had a terrible effect on relationships, with 1 in 3 marriages ending in divorce.

I’d be prepared to bet that most women in modern interracial relationships are more intelligent and better-educated than their western male partners. Far from being submissive, most Asian women are very assertive, they simply have a different approach to dealing with say, their frustration and anger than most other women do. I don’t now how effective shouting is but most kinds of women still feel that this is the way to deal with relationship problems.

I’ve been spending time with Asian women for the last few years. I guess success breeds success because I’m making more and more friends with girls who happen to be Asian women. The thing is I know what I’m dealing with and it’s all very reassuring for me. I find that these women enjoy the same things I do and we are culturally similar in spite of being from very different countries I did some internet research on ‘yellow fever’ and it seems most people using it are some women who feel that men shouldn’t be attracted to them. And yet, what is a man supposed to do? When I was younger, I was attracted by blonde women who had long lega (because this was what society held up as a beauty ideal). So I went after these women, even though I was disappointed when I found out that they weren’t what I had expected.  In life, you must go after what you want in order to be happy. Being around these women makes me happy and I’m in no mind to stop, despite what some people would no doubt put down to an unnatural fixation.

According to an article on the Harvard Crimson, ‘There is nothing wrong with being a white man who is attracted to Asian women. Many times, it is a subconscious desire that you can’t really control anyway.’

And the article was written by an Asian woman, Nian Hu,

So there you have it.

So Yellow Fever be damned, here’s a song by one hit wonder, Yello.

I miss Kita!

 

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Gabrielle – A Real Date?

I was at an outdoor music festival I saw this girl that my friend John worked with, and standing next to her was this gorgeous brunette girl. When I got home I called John and asked him if he knew she was. John said that it was his friend Gabrielle, and that she was single. He offered to give him my number. I was thrilled.

I called Gabrielle and told her who I was and since she was friends with John, she’d meet me. This chick was smokin’ hot so I wanted to take her on a real date, because in L.A. those are few and far between. We made plans to grab drinks at one of my favorite bar/restaurants in Studio City.

“We met up, and it was sadly awkward from the beginning. Her nonchalant, ‘I could care less if I was on a date’ attitude was bothersome. We walked through a residential area to the bar and talking to her was like pulling teeth. (Which almost never happens to me) Every question I asked was met with one-word answers and she really didn’t seem that interested in me. After one drink I was ready to get the hell out of there, she kind of gave me the feeling like she was over the interaction. Maybe she saw me and just wasn’t interested, which was okay with me. I get it. I was cute back then but this babe was model hot and maybe just not into me.

“She was walking me back to my van and as we turn on the street I was parked on, she grabs me and kisses me.

Out of nowhere.

Honestly, I think she and I were on separate dates because she seemed to think it was going SO WELL that a movie moment was necessary. I was so confused, but it also wasn’t the worst kiss, so I participated. After a few minutes of a high-school-esque make out session, she pulls away and says,

“‘I’m dangerous.’

“‘Um, ok?’ I grabbed my keys and began to walk to my van. She says behind me:

“‘I’m no good for you. You shouldn’t be near me.’

“‘I’M SORRY, WHAT?’

“It should be said that this girl was about 5′ 3”. She didn’t come across as dangerous, and I was just baffled by her behavior.  It was just her demeanor, like she needed me to know she was ‘dangerous’ and she wanted me to like that he was ‘dangerous.’

“I walked to my van, got in, drove away, and went home.

A week or so later I’m at a barbecue in Mar Vista and I see John. I’m telling him the story and he starts laughing a few others start cracking up as well.

“What’s so funny about that?”

“Dude. Gabrielle is an actress. it sounds like your ‘date’ was used for ‘method acting’ for a role. Now I don’t know if she actually wanted to go on a date, or if I just popped up on her radar at the right time. I also don’t know how truly dangerous she is, but if you ask her, she’d probably say ‘Very dangerous.”

“Oh, for fucks sake!”

Only in L.A.

But what a beauty…

 

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Death in Paradise: Why did Sara Martins leave Death in Paradise?

DEATH IN PARADISE has been on our screens for almost 9 years and throughout the show’s history many cast members have come and gone. But why exactly did Sara Martins leave Death in Paradise? Here’s everything you need to know about why Martins left the BBC series.

Death in Paradise season nine is coming to BBC One in early 2020. Sara Martins was part of the show’s original cast, starring in the crime drama from 2011 until 2015. Martins is a French-Portuguese actress and is best known for her roles in French television and film.

Why did Sara Martins leave Death in Paradise?

Sara Martins starred in Death in Paradise as DS Camille Bordey.

Martins played the role of DS Camille Bordey from 2011 until 2015.She first appeared in episode one of Death in Paradise in 2011 and was last seen in season four, episode four.

Bordey was an undercover investigator who, at first, did not get on with new Detective Inspector Richard Poole (played by Ben Miller).

Sara Martins starred in Death in Paradise as DS Camille Bordey.

Sara Martins starred in Death in Paradise as DS Camille Bordey. (Image: GETTY)

As time went on, Poole and Martins got closer and even verged on having a romantic relationship.

Sadly, Poole was killed off in season three and DI Humphrey Goodman (Kris Marshall) replaced him.

Goodman had expressed romantic feelings for Martins’ character but nothing happened between them until Camille announced the was moving to a new job in Paris.

As she left the island of Saint Marie, she kissed Goodman goodbye.

Camilla was written out of the show by securing a new undercover job in Paris.

Speaking about the decision to leave Death in Paradise, Martins told What’s On TV?: “I’ve loved everything about the show but the only way to grow in life is to take risks, even if it means losing something you love or leaving a place that’s comfortable.

“You should always go forward and take new challenges.“

However, Martins did not rule out returning to Death in Paradise.

She said: “We wanted to make the best exit, and they didn’t want to kill me off, there was no reason to. And who knows? There’s always the possibility I can come back.

Sara Martins is a French-Portugese actress

Sara Martins is a French-Portugese actress (Image: GETTY)

Who is Sara Martins?

Sara Martins is a French-Portuguese actress from Faro, Portugal

She is best known for appearances in French television and film.

Martins made her debut acting role in the French series Police District.

Since then she has starred in the French films, Tell No One, Beyond the Ocean, Paris Je t’aime, Summer Hours and Little White Lies.

Death in Paradise was her debut role on British television.

Since leaving Death in Paradise in 2015, Martins has gone on to star in the NBC series American Odyssey as Serena and The law of Alexandre.

Martins has also appeared in Captain Marleau and Father Brown.

 

Sara Martins starred in Death in Paradise from 2011 until 2015

Sara Martins starred in Death in Paradise from 2011 until 2015 (Image: GETTY)

When is Death in Paradise season 9 out?

The BBC has not confirmed an official release date for the new series of Death in Paradise.

The previous eight seasons have premiered in January, apart from season one which arrived on screens in October 2011, so season nine is expected to arrive in early 2020.

Filming for season nine is currently underway on the French-Carribean island of Guadaloupe.

Death in Paradise fans will be pleased to know that the BBC renewed Death in Paradise for two seasons last year, meaning fans can expect season nine in 2020 and season 10 in 2021.

Express.co.uk will update this article when more information is available.

Death in Paradise season 9 is currently in production.

 
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Expectations vs. Reality: Dating Somebody Older Than You

It sounds good in theory. After years of toiling in the shallow end of the dating pool, the idea of going out with an older (and presumably more mature) person seems enticing. The media doesn’t help this notion. Movies and television shows have gone to great lengths to portray May-December relationships as the holy grail. Whether it’s films like The Graduate or Wedding Crashers, or even songs on the radio (yes, Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on), the idea of dating somebody older has constantly been portrayed as a mystical, passionate opportunity you’d be a fool to miss out on. In reality, these relationships are more complicated than you might assume. These are the expectations and realities of dating somebody older than you.

Photo Credit: CBS Studios

Open for business: The Mandatory Do’s and Don’ts of Open Relationships

Expectation: Older Means Wiser and More Mature

Reality: Older Means Same Maturity and Fewer Excuses

Expectations say that when somebody is dating a person who is older than them, usually the older person will be the more mature of the two. In reality, this is hardly the case. Most of the time, older people will date younger people because of their own immaturity. Have you ever heard the idea that girls mature faster than boys? It’s true and these relationships are proof of that.

Expectation: Spending All Day in Bed in the Throes of Passion

Reality: Spending All Day in Bed….Period

It’s an old joke. Dating somebody who is older (aka a “cougar”) results in lots of great sex, right? That’s what all the movies and television shows say. Unfortunately for our hormonally-charged friends, this is rarely the case. Yes, older people like sex just as much as younger people do, but it’s not their lifeblood. There’s no magic trick one develops as they grow older that makes sex better. They might become less selfish, for sure. But that’s the only “trick” there is.

If you find yourself spending an exorbitant amount of time in bed, it’s probably because you’re both too tired to do anything but binge Netflix shows or Lifetime movies.

Expectation: A Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous

Reality: Nobody Can Even Retire Anymore

Our economy kind of sucks right now. The idea of “marrying for money” isn’t totally obsolete (yet), but it’s not as easy as the movies make it out to be. Very few people are actually super rich. The assumption that younger people marry older people for the money is not necessarily the case. Many of the older people in a relationship can’t even afford to properly retire these days, so those who date older people likely do so out of love.

Expectation: Trophy Dates and Gala Events

Reality: Local Bars and Passing Judgment

We’ve all seen this scene, or something like it: Anna Nicole Smith pushing her wheelchair-bound husband down a red carpet, or Ashton Kutcher sharing a kiss with Demi Moore at a movie premiere. Younger people at the arm of somebody older makes for an unusual but extremely photogenic moment.

Unfortunately, for most of us, it’s not red carpets or fashion shows that serve as our evening’s entertainment. Most of the time, it’s a local bar and the lights are dim and nobody actually even really cares.

And that’s the biggest reality check we can take from these relationships: nobody actually cares. So feel free to love who you want.

 

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Bailey – Chapter 4 – Second Date – Part 2

Bailey destroys her dinner. I’m sure she doesn’t know anyone like me that would ever take her to a place like this. She’s in the theater community. Like my ex Annabelle none of those losers have any money. I like her but I’m starting to think this has become another meal ticket for a chick on OkCupid.

I don’t want to think about that, but I do.

I think about how great my first date with Cherie was. There was chemistry and it was going somewhere. Even from the first date. Cherie wanted it more than me. That’s what we all need to find. Not this shit. Why am I cheating on Cherie with this novelty?

Because Cherie is rarely around. I like company. I’m in control of my life now. I compartmentalize everything and everyone. I can manage everyone around me. I am the Sun. All of my planets are fine and they never collide. I’m at the heart of my own solar system.

The sunny Leo.

I’ll navigate this little satellite as well.

Dinner’s great. She loves it and cleans her plate. Destroys the last of the appetizer I had no interest in. I feed her more chicken from my fork.

I thought we’d share a gelato flight but she went with one each. Double my bill. Thanks, Bailey.  The gelato was orgasmic and I knew I had touched her soul, but the gelato is so good at this restaurant all you need to do is show up and make sure you order the flight. She was so blown away by the mango I gave her mine just so she’d have more to enjoy.

Eating a flight of gelato at Gran cafe L’Aquila is like listening to a Beatles album. Every song makes you feel different.

When we’re all done I pause.

I took her hands. They’re soft, small and girlish. I caress her hands and it’s really nice. She says she has midget hands and I correct her and tell her soft girl hands are nice. It feels good to touch her. Hands tell a lot about a person and her’s are especially small, girlish and nice. (This is my favorite part of the date.)

“I remember when we met on Christmas Eve on our first date, Bailey. You were wearing all black and white. You were very stylish and it was a great look for you. I loved your top, the skirt, the patterned stockings, the boots. Really put together. Beautiful.”

“Oh, thank you!”

“Okay… So I was walking to work today, and I was thinking about you and that day and your outfit and how great you looked. ”

This is when I pulled the black bag from the floor and put it on the table. It’s plastic and she never saw this coming.

I push it to her and she opens it. She reaches inside and pulls out a beautiful black and white scarf. It’s one of these that’s shaped like an 8. Thick and soft. It’s been a cold winter and I think this is an appropriate 2nd date birthday gift for a girl I like.

I think you’d all agree with me.

Baliey is so grateful. It was an impulse buy while walking through Suburban Station today. It just looked perfect and great for her style. It goes over well. She goes to put it back in the bag and notices something else. A 4 pack of Black and Mild filtered cigars that I know she likes.  (This came up on the first date)  She’s ecstatic, and very gracious.

I like all of this and tonight’s second date has been a roaring success albeit a costly one for our hero.

I of course pay the $80 fucking bill and get our coats. I put hers on her and even pull her hair from the collar. I’m 55. She’s 28. Here I am. I know guys younger than me that are pulling their puds at home.

My life is fun and beautiful.

We get outside and she’s waiting for her UBER and fires up a Black and Mild. After tonight she seems a little more ghetto to me. Before she lights the cig I grasp her.

I kiss her.

It seems automatic and not passionate at all. I knew she owed it to me. But it was just a firm wooden bump of our lips. I felt that immediately. Not like me and Cherie. Certainly not like me and Ambria. What happened to the touching at Dan Dan? Where’s the energy? Hmm?

She chinks out her cig because her UBER is coming. Apparently it’s a big Mercedes with a woman driver. We cross 17th street at Chestnut and head to the front of Ruby Tuesdays.

The car is there and before she gets in she kisses me. But it’s still feels wooden and perfunctory. I don’t like that. But maybe I’m over analyzing.

But I’m too old for that, and where there’s smoke there’s some twenty-something stuffing her head and pouring water over your fire, Sir.

Because before this dinner there were plenty of kisses emojis and they have completely dried up.

As the door slams you say, “Text me to let me know you got home safe.”

But she doesn’t hear it, and her belly is full of $90 of food and gifts.

I never get that respectful text.

That’s critical people.

Girls, you have to do that if a man sends you home on a date. Huge mistake if you just go home and don’t tell him you’re home safe. That’s all he wants. You didn’t sleep with him. He just treated you like a queen and bought you appetizers, dinner, dessert and a scarf an cigs. A “Got home safe” would be nice just for the sake of manners.

I did get a message from her the next morning saying she would be able to go to the movies with me New years Day. She even sends a pic of her wearing the scarf I gave her.

Cute.

I tell her I’ll send her a list of films and she can pick and I’ll put it in the calendar.

So let’s see what happens…

 

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Bailey – Chapter 3 – Second Date – Part 1

Eating a flight of gelato at Gran cafe L’Aquila is like listening to a Beatles album. Every song makes you feel different.

I have been texting Bailey and things seem to be going well. Her birthday is the day after Christmas so we decide to meet up for drinks at 8:30pm Wednesday night. The day after her birthday. Based on our first date I wanted to step up my game and wow her with something unique. I tell her to meet me at Gran Cafe L’Aquila. I figured at 8:30 at night we’d have some wine, maybe a little snack and of course… a flight of their amazing gelato! World class. The best I’ve ever tasted. If you want to impress a lady, take her there.

I close up the salon and head over. The city is beautiful during the holidays. I get there and the place is swinging because it’s the week between Christmas and New Years.

There are only two seats at the bar and it’s tight. I love this place though. They have a lively staff that are all very Italian and everything about the restaurant looks authentic.

Bailey texts me that she’s 5 minutes away. I order a chardonnay. My go-to beverage when I go out. The holidays have been great this year. Between work and events, I’ve had something going on every night this week!

Bailey rolls in and we hug. It’s nice to see her again. I help her off with her coat and we clamber into our seats. She orders something bubbly.

The bartender asks if we’re having food, and I think maybe calamari. Just a snack and then later I’ll blow her mind with the gelato flight.

They give us a menu and she’s perusing it. The first page is always what they’re featuring from a region in Italy. The other two pages is everything else they serve on a daily basis. The other 10 pages is all wine, cocktails and dessert. It’s like a book!

“I’m hungry!”

I don’t like the sound of that. Nine o’clock at night is snack, wine and gelato. That’s it. But now we have an issue. But its date number two and her birthday yesterday, and it’s the fucking holidays, so I’m going to take one for the team.

My girlfriend is black, but this is classic black girl behavior. Bailey is a light-skinned black so she must be some kind of mix, but this is a lot of what they do. You all know I’m not racist. I love all women. I have all their albums. Huge fan. I’ve had three black girlfriends. I love every flavor that God can make of girls. I truly do. But black chicks will eat as much as they possibly can if it’s free. I’ll tell you where this comes from. Black people have been oppressed by everyone for hundreds of years. They never got anything and were treated like shit for centuries. But unfortunately once they’ve been somewhat accepted into white society and the workplace they get all they can. They don’t even know they’re doing it. It’s just a need, because they never know if it’s going to happen again. Maybe this could be the last time it ever happens.

Every time I’ve been at an event or a meeting and there’s black women there, they all sit together and devour as much food as they can. I know I’m not the first white person to notice this.  But in this day and age everybody is so scared to say anything. But, again… my girlfriend is black and I love her dearly. She’s the sweetest loyal lady. I’m the piece of shit going out on dates with other women because Cherie is never around. But black girls do this thing when it comes to food. It’s a shame really. I’ve seen this for decades. If there’s free food around they will consume it all because they don’t know when it will happen again.

They get knocked up by some loser, have a kid, guy leaves, and she ends up living at her parents and they help raise the kid. This happens over and over. Even my girlfriend’s sister had two kids that are being raised by the grandparents. This is a cycle in the black community. That bitch met a new guy and has gotten pregnant again. Is she going to raise this new one? She’s not even married. Oh, you can’t raise the two rugrats you have and you got knocked up again? What are you insane? These are human beings! How can you be so reckless with your family?

Black women are amazing and have to put up with a mountain of shit in their lives. Just being born black in this country is a setback. I’m blessed to have been born into the family I was and they were somewhat normal. We all have our crosses to bear. But I know what this little encounter is going to turn into.

I remember Bailey telling me about issues with her mother. I haven’t heard too much about dad. But come on… both nostrils pierced, the septum, and the Medusa. Oh, and the tattoos. You’re screaming for someone to look at you and please pay attention to you. I’ve met dozens of you. In all races, shapes and sizes, dear.

Bailey suggests we get a table. Fuck. I can already feel the wetness from my debit card leaking tears into my back pocket. I talk to the bartender and he sets it up.

We head upstairs and get a table. They check our coats and give me tickets. Bailey isn’t accustomed to this level of service and hospitality. This is a first rate joint.

She takes forever with the menu. That’s okay. When I brought Kita here she did the same things. I forget girls in their twenties are overwhelmed by monster menus at fine eateries.

I already know what I want. I get the same thing every time I come here. Grilled half chicken, rosemary potato wedges and asparagus. Done. I’m just sipping and waiting at this point.

There’s two families across from us with cranky babies. I want to toss those little fuckers over the balcony. But I’m a parent and I have restraint. I hate my friend Marigold’s kids and my friend Rob and Laura’s kid but I don’t have to raise them. I only have to see them once a year and that’s enough! I did a good job with my daughter Lorelei and she’s turned out lovely. You have one shot. Be a fucking parent. Put yourself aside and do a better job than your parents. Take the best of what they did and do better and be firm and gentle. It’s not that hard. Be patient and love them. They’re children! They’re like puppies, train them and break them in!

Baliey finally settles on a dish and we’re good. Conversation is good and she looks great. She’s all in black and looking cute.

The server, Karina comes back and takes our order. But before she does that, she asks if we want an appetizer. (As a sales guy I love the upsell, but don’t pull that fucking shit on me with this hungry girl) Of course Bailey wants a fucking appetizer now. (Goddammit!)

“Oh… yea.. lets get the mozzerella plate shrimp thing.”

I’m not going to touch that shit. It’s 9:30 at night. I just wanted a light snack and now I’m fucked for a full blown dinner here.

Appetizer comes out and Baliey rips into it. I never touch it. She devours most of it and when the dinners come out Karina asks to take it away and Bailey keeps it. She’s going to kill any food that comes to this table. That’s her personal goal. Just like at Dan Dan Christmas eve. She devoured everything.

I get it now.

Dinner was nice. I actually cut a piece of my amazing chicken off and give her the first taste from my fork. (I haven’t had a bite yet, but I want her to taste first because I’m a gentleman.) Bailey assures me she’s okay with germs but I wanted her to try it first off a clean fork. She loves it of course. Yea, it’s great grilled chicken under a hot stone. I knew she’d love it.

To be Continued Tomorrow…

 

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Saffron – Down with the Sickness

Met Saffron at a the restaurant where I worked. She seemed relatively normal from our conversations, and she was very cute.

I try to set up plans to go see a movie, and she can’t/won’t make up her mind about what to see/when to go. Then she calls me and sounds a little funny. As if her voice was hoarse. She says “I normally don’t sound like this I yelled a lot at work today.” Something was up.

We finally agree on plans. I go pick her up to go see The Dark Crystal. She gets in the car and we start talking and it’s clear to me that she didn’t give me the whole story. Her voice did indeed sound somewhat odd. In addition, I began to notice certain ticks/movements as well. After the 10 minute drive to the theater I began to wonder what she hadn’t told me.

We walk into the theater and I realize a few more things. She had somewhat awkward gait, and had trouble with keeping normal distance from me. She either got super close or super far away as we walked and talked.

At this point I begin to wonder if perhaps she has Aspergers or another health issue, but keep it to myself.

Despite all of this I was still having a good time; we got along well and went to see the movie.

Here’s where the trouble begins:

About an hour into the movie she goes to the bathroom. I check my watch and realize that she’s been gone for over 10 minutes. No big deal, maybe she got food or didn’t feel well.

She comes back 15 minutes later and said she bought water and felt a little sick. Hint #4. I asked her multiple times if she was ok/wanted to leave. She said, “I’m fine, my cousin was sick maybe I caught a bug from her.”

Cut to about 45 minutes left in the movie; she starts to make faces as if she doesn’t feel good. I ask again multiple times if she is ok; she insists she is.

I suggest that she goes to bathroom in case she has to throw up. She says no.

A minute later SHE THROWS UP ALL OVER THE PLACE. COVERS THE ENTIRE FLOOR IN FRONT OF HER AND THREE SEATS TO THE LEFT ALL THE WAY TO AISLE. IT WAS LIKE A MOVIE SCENE, I COULDN’T BELIEVE HOW MUCH ONE PERSON COULD THROW UP.

I’m shaken obviously so I climb up a row and go to get help from the theater workers. On the way out of the theater I have to stop short as I round the corner…

WHY?

BECAUSE THERE WERE TWO GIANT PUDDLES OF VOMIT IN THE HALLWAY!! HER “BATHROOM” TRIP WAS ACTUALLY AN “I’M GONNA THROW UP ON THE FLOOR, LEAVE IT, AND RETURN TO MY DATE LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED.”

So yea, that was a bad date I guess. Plus I never saw the end of the movie. I took the poor girl home. I felt so bad for her. I’ve had stomach disorders my whole life so I could identify with her. I think she was so mortified and embarrassed by the incident we never went out again because I don’t think she could face me. Poor girl. She was so cute!

 

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