Tales of Rock – Fountains Of Wayne’s Adam Schlesinger Dies At 52 After Contracting COVID-19

“Oh god, no…”

Adam Schlesinger, one of the most prolific and decorated songwriters of his generation, died Wednesday from complications caused by COVID-19. He was 52.

His death was confirmed to NPR by his lawyer, Josh Grier.

With former songwriting partner Chris Collingwood, Schlesinger enjoyed his greatest commercial success as a musician with Fountains of Wayne, which released five studio albums between 1996 and 2011. In 2003, “Stacy’s Mom” was a hit for the band; that song later helped Fountains of Wayne land a pair of Grammy nominations. But Schlesinger also kept busy outside Fountains of Wayne, even during its commercial peak: He played in Ivy (whose six albums came out more or less concurrently with Fountains’ output), Tinted Windows (a short-lived power-pop project with Taylor Hanson of Hanson, Bun E. Carlos of Cheap Trick and James Iha of The Smashing Pumpkins) and the synth-pop group Fever High. He also produced albums for many other artists.

Schlesinger’s career extended well beyond his work in bands. He had a hand in many of the songs that populated the critically beloved TV series Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and he won three Emmys — one for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and two, both with David Javerbaum, for co-writing songs performed in Tony Awards telecasts. With Javerbaum, Schlesinger was nominated for two Tonys (both for 2008’s Cry-Baby) and won a Grammy for A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!.

A versatile songwriter with a gift for straddling genres and musical eras, Schlesinger wrote frequently for film, with credits ranging from three songs in the romantic comedy Music and Lyrics to the Oscar-nominated title track to Tom Hanks’ 1996 film That Thing You Do!.

Tributes began appearing on Twitter as news of Schlesinger’s death circulated. Javerbaum described Schlesinger as “a brilliant songwriter, musician, collaborator and friend,” adding, “You enriched millions of lives with your boundless creativity, none more than mine.”

David Javerbaum

@davidjaverbaum

Adam, you were a brilliant songwriter, musician, collaborator and friend.

Gorgeous melodies spun out of you like silk through a loom.

You enriched millions of lives with your boundless creativity, none more than mine.

Thank you Adam.

I love you.https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/01/arts/music/adam-schlesinger-dead-coronavirus.html 

Adam Schlesinger performing in 2010 in Manhattan.

Adam Schlesinger, Songwriter for Rock, Film and the Stage, Dies at 52

He made suburban characters shine in Fountains of Wayne songs and brought pop-rock perfection to the Tom Hanks film “That Thing You Do!”

nytimes.com

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Social Distancing Pick-Up Lines Have Arrived & They’re The Comic Relief You Needed

Finding love in the time of coronavirus may be difficult, but the internet certainly isn’t letting that stop it. Amidst growing numbers of COVID-19 lockdowns and CDC-recommended social distancing, it was only a matter of time before #SocialDistancingPickUpLines started trending on Twitter. If you’re looking for a way to stay salacious but sanitary, let these tweets be your guide.

Though we’re all practicing social distancing — you’re doing that right? Staying home or at least six-feet from other people? Good, just checking — we can still keep it sexy from afar. There’s sexting, sexy video chatting, phone sex, foot pics, toe pics, sending nudes, sliding into someone’s DMs, self-isolating but as a euphemism, and, of course, Facebook pokes.

Yes, you can still poke someone on Facebook. Now, more than ever, we need to bring back the strange and stupid practice of clicking a button that notifies another person “you have been poked.” Is poking any less creepy while the coronavirus pandemic is going on? Who knows! Maybe! Probably. You’ll just have to find out. Poke your COVID-19 crush. It’ll be a cute story to tell the grandkids.

Or you could just try one of these 20 #SocialDistancingPickUpLines.

1. Notting Hill Part 2: Let’s Not Get COVID-19

Hollywood Exposed@AndstuffL

“I’m just a girl, standing 6 feet away from a boy. Asking him to maybe move back another foot. Thanks.” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

View image on Twitter
2,027 people are talking about this

Dibs on being Julia Roberts.

2. Will You Be My Quarantine?

Vixera@carpe_flamma

Are you a pandemic because you’ve got my heart on lockdown
#SocialDistancingPickUpLines

1,334 people are talking about this

Word play, especially during a pandemic, is welcome.

3. Six-feet, Please.

Sentient Bunny Suit🐰@SentientSuit

I saw you from across the bar. Stay there. #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

715 people are talking about this

Don’t you dare move.

4. Remix Of An Old Classic

Not Will Ferrell@itsWillyFerrell

You can’t spell quarantine without “u r a q t” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

1,113 people are talking about this

Time to brush up on those AIM skills.

5. Funny Because It’s True

Jill in Virusland@Jillinvirusland

“If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I’d be in the highest tax bracket and then I’d be able to get tested for coronavirus.” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

485 people are talking about this

Raya has left the chat.

6. Team Keep The Alphabet The Same

Joy Eilene@joyeilene

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d keep U and I exactly where they are, with eleven letters of longing between them. #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

229 people are talking about this

AEIOU and sometimes Y don’t you stay away from me.

7. The Greatest Of All Love Stories

🍒Acidic Blonde™️@Acidic_Blonde

Wanna make plans that we have to cancel? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

210 people are talking about this

Honestly? A good pickup line at any time.

8. Don’t You Dare Hold It Against Me

John C. B.@CatBirder27

#SocialDistancingPickUpLines if I told you that you had a nice body, would you keep it six feet away from me?

124 people are talking about this

Britney Spears, we need a remix.

9. The Only Thing I’ll Be Taking Out For A While

Anthony Jimenez@antyabstract

I’ll have what she’s having!

for delivery

and please leave it at my doorstep thank you so much #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

See Anthony Jimenez’s other Tweets

Extra wet wipes, too, thanks.

10. A Pickup Line To Let Them Know You’re Literate

Jill in Virusland@Jillinvirusland

“Since all the public libraries are closed, I’m checking you out instead.” #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

325 people are talking about this

Reading is sexy.

11. Girl Next Door Vibes

Joy Eilene@joyeilene

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past your house on the other side of the street again? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

See Joy Eilene’s other Tweets

I literally have nothing better to do than pace around my block.

12. An Amended Chorus To The Adele Song

Jeff Dwoskin

@bigmacher

Hellooooo
I said hello
I’m not sure I can scream any louder
Never mind
#SocialDistancingPickUpLines

65 people are talking about this

I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to… have a conversation over FaceTime?

13. Wink Wink

Vlada R@Vlada_Ruggiero

Hey baby, I got some rubbers we can use… on our hands… they’re gloves. So we don’t have to touch anything #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

Embedded video

Always use protection.

14. *dances to Jamiroquai*

Levi the Totally Not Extinct Dinosaur@levi_bullen

I saw you liked and retweeted my tweet, so this is getting pretty serious huh? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

Embedded video

308 people are talking about this

Don’t be jealous because I’ve been chatting online with babes all day.

15. The Bar Is So, So Low

Zvjezdan Patz@zvjezdanpatz

I wash my hands when there’s no pandemic too #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

364 people are talking about this

You better be washing your hands.

16. It’s Truly Our Only Option

Michael@Sckswithsandals

FaceTime and chill? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

217 people are talking about this

Could I interest you in a romantic Zoom meeting?

17. We Stan A TP King

Roman Phoenix@RomanPhoenix4

Baby, do you need toilet paper? Because I can be your Prince Charmin. #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

Embedded video

1,147 people are talking about this

Better than a bouquet of flowers.

18. Say Anything… But At A Reasonable Distance

Ryan Cappo@RyanCappo

I will stand in front of your house with my emergency radio from the 80’s until you are out of quarantine, babe.#SocialDistancingPickUpLines

View image on Twitter
91 people are talking about this

I love you (staying six feet from me). How many more times do I have to say it?

19. I Repeat, The Bar Is So, So Low

Mr. Bagels@fartbagels

I have toilet paper #SocialDistancingPickUpLines

434 people are talking about this

If you have hand sanitizer, I will put a ring on it immediately.

20. Can’t Tell If I’m Terrified Or Turned On

Leanne Sandusky@LeanneSandusky

If covid-19 doesn’t take you out.. can I? #SocialDistancingPickUpLines #stolenfromsomewhere

703 people are talking about this

Honestly, at this point, perhaps a simple heart emoji and virus emoji will woo them.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Tales of Rock – The 6 Most (Certifiably) Insane Tales of Rock Star Behavior

We expect our rock stars to be a little crazy. Sex, drugs and trashed hotel rooms are all part of the rocking package.

But even in the crazy-ass world these artists live in, sometimes there’s an incident that makes everybody stop and say, “Dude.”

For instance…

Prince Assaults Sinead O’Connor … For Cursing

 

In the early 90s, Sinead O’Connor scored a massive hit with her cover of the Prince-penned “Nothing Compares To You.” Sorry, that should probably read “Nothing Compares 2 U.” We are talking about Prince after all. At any rate, according to O’Connor, His Purpleness was less than thrilled with her decision to cover the song since he was already planning to give it to a female protege of his, perhaps in exchange for a series of unthinkable sex acts.

When he met with Sinead to discuss the situation, things got a bit out of hand. And by “out of hand” we mean “they got in a goddamned fistfight.”

It started with Prince berating the shorn-locked singer for, of all things, cursing in interviews. She replied with a diplomatic and sympathetic “go fuck yourself.” At that point, O’Connor claims Prince became physically threatening, or at least to the extent Prince can physically threaten anyone.

At that point the two went at it, in what was probably the most effeminate fistfight of all time. Prince used his fists, O’Connor used loogies. “All I could do was spit. I spat on him quite a bit,” she said. Classy! Not that beating women is any classier, but seriously, how would you feel if you were robbed of the chance to pass one of your most enduring tunes onto one of your talented proteges? Imagine the possibilities!

Oh, shit!

Ozzy Osbourne Impresses Record Execs… By Biting the Head Off a Dove

 

That Ozzy Osbourne once bit the head off a bat is old news. To the credit of his sanity, he apparently didn’t know it was a real bat. Plus, he was in Des Moines, Iowa at the time. When you’re spending an evening in a place like Iowa, you find your fun however you can.

A slightly less famous incident happened at CBS Records’ Los Angeles office shortly after Ozzy left Black Sabbath to embark on a solo career. Sensing that CBS was not overly interested in her husband or his music, Sharon Osbourne decided it would be a good idea for Ozzy to show up at a meeting with CBS executives with a couple of live doves in pockets. The idea was that he would release them into the air when he walked in. And who wouldn’t be impressed by having a couple of albino birds hurled into the air at their place of employment?

But Ozzy, ever the showman, decided that instead of releasing the doves, he would take one out of his pocket and delightfully bite its head off as CBS employees looked on in horror. According to an eyewitness, the reaction was an understandably stunned silence followed by Ozzy being hastily removed from the room, presumably while little spurts of blood shot from the bird’s ragged neck stump.

This is the kind of story that, over the years, becomes so shrouded in legend that people start to question whether it is even true, us included. But, admittedly, this picture of Ozzy Osbourne biting off the head of a dove while shocked record execs look on is pretty damning evidence.

Carlos Santana Gives All Glory to… Metatron?

 

It’s not unusual these days for an artist to score a huge album and, in later interviews, give all the credit for their success to God. Ok, it’s not unusual for rappers and R&B singers at least. But in a 1999 interview with Rolling Stone, Carlos Santana awesomely took things a step further.

Those skeptics among us would be tempted to credit the success of the album largely to the fact that it consisted mostly of Carlos playing guitar on songs that, otherwise, didn’t resemble Santana songs in the least. But when asked about the inspiration for his comeback album Supernatural (of course) Carlos credited a mystical spirit named Metatron.

In Carlos’ own words:

“I know it sounds New Age… but in my meditation, this entity – which is called Metatron – he said, ‘we want to hook you back to the radio airwave frequency. We want you to reach junior high schools, high schools and universities. Once you reach them – because we are going to connect you with the best artists of the day, then we want you to present them a new menu. Let them know that they are themselves, multidimensional spirits with enormous possibilities and opportunities. We want you to present them with a new form of existence that transcends religion, politics or the modus operandi of education today'”

Alrighty then!

He also went on to say, “Metatron is the architect of physical life. Because of him, we can French-kiss, we can hug, we can get a hot dog, wiggle our toe.” Well, we do certainly dig hot dogs. And we like a god who may possibly be a Transformer. Then again … Metatron claimed the album would feature “the best artists of the day.” This would be an album that featured both Rob Thomas and Everlast.

We’d have to say we’re non-believers, Santana.

Serge Gainsbourg Sings About Incest… With His Daughter

 

Legendary (to French people) pop singer Serge Gainsbourg was never any stranger to odd behavio(u)r. But the line between strange and crazy is a fine one. Take, for example, the time he appeared with Whitney Houston on what amounted to the European version of The View and said, and we quote, “I want to fuck you.” Strange? Sure. Crazy? No, it was 1985, who didn’t want to nail Whitney Houston in 1985?

No, the Whitney incident was downright boring compared to Gainsbourg’s single “Lemon Incest.” There is nothing inherently strange about singing about incest, we suppose. Aerosmith had a huge hit that was about incest (“Janie’s Got A Gun”). But it’s not like anyone thought any differently about Steven Tyler because of the song.

OK, bad example

But to sing about incest with Joe Perry on lead guitar is one thing. To sing about it with your daughter on co-lead vocals, that’s some whole other shit altogether.

And that’s exactly what Gainsbourg did on “Lemon Incest,” a duet with his quite young daughter Charlotte. It’s at this point that our European readers will scold us for being “dumb Americans” who “misunderstood” the song. And hey, that may be. Or maybe Europeans just have hotter kids than we do. Whatever the case, it’s hard to read these lyrics without getting a bit of the heebie jeebies:

The love that we will never together,

Is the most beautiful, the most violent, the purest, the most intoxicating,

Exquisite outline, delicious child, my flesh and my blood,

Oh my baby my soul,

Incest lemon, lemon incest

But surely, seeing the video for the song will dispel any misunderstandings about the meaning of the song, right? What father doesn’t croon about incest over sleazy electronic music while laying shirtless in bed with his kid? In a perfect world, fucking all of them.

Whitney Houston Gets the Christmas Spirit… By Joining a Cult

 

Speaking of Whitney …

It takes a lot to out-crazy Bobby Brown. But time and again, Whitney rises to the occasion. In a stunt that Bobby couldn’t dream up in a hundred crack-filled years, Houston traveled to Israel in 2003 to spend time with a cult group known as the Black Hebrews. Her reasoning for the trip? To find inspiration for her upcoming Christmas album.

Hanging out with Jews to get inspired for Christmas? Hey, why the hell not? But the group, on the surface just a run-of-the-mill religious group, is purported by some to be more like a cult. Given their unorthodox policies of polygamy (men are allowed seven wives) and, much more ominously, strict vegetarianism, it’s not much of a stretch.

“Crack is vegetarian, right?”

According to some former members, the group believes so heavily in discipline that, not only have children died while being beaten by their parents, but adults are also beaten for failing to abide by the laws of the group’s settlement. Adults who have fallen ill due to the strict diet imposed on them have refused medical attention due to their refusal to visit “heathen doctors” in Europe and American.

Needless to say, Houston was sold. By the time she left, Whitney was referring to Israel as “my land.” And Bobby was probably on the hunt for six more wives. What a bunch of lucky ladies!

Phil Spector Kidnaps The Ramones

 

Legendary producer and songwriter Phil Spector is one of those guys who is batshit insane, but you’d never know it from his calm, reassuring exterior.

You can’t judge a book by its cover.

The above photo is what he looked like when he showed up to his trial for murder charges, looking as sane as possible to impress the jury. Anyway, what is so surprising is how successful he managed to become while spewing the crazy on damn near everyone around him.

Like the time he put a loaded gun to Leonard Cohen’s head. Or that one time when he fired a shot in the studio while he was working with John Lennon. Or all of the other times he allegedly pulled guns on the artists he worked with. But if one incident takes the cake over all of them, it would be the time when Phil allegedly held The Ramones at gunpoint, while working on their End of the Century album.

According to bassist Dee Dee Ramone, while in the studio Phil pulled Joey Ramone away for a private meeting. Dee Dee went off in search of the pair, at which point he says Spector emerged at the top of a staircase, waving a pistol around.

After Dee Dee objected to, you know, having a gun pulled on him and shit, he told Phil he was leaving. That he did this instead of, say, diving behind a piece of furniture while screaming, indicates that the sight of Spector with a gun wasn’t all that uncommon.

At that point, Spector allegedly pointed the gun at Dee Dee’s chest and motioned for the rest of the band to return to the piano room. Then, with the band captive in the locked room, he sat at a piano and made the band listen to him sing “Baby, I Love You.”

Repeatedly.

Until 4:30 in the morning.

But on the bright side, at least nobody got shot in the face!

 

 

Getting Connected CoVid-19 Style

via Getting Connected CoVid-19 Style

 

 

Life In The Time Of Covid-19

“When playing billiards with my father he always said… “Don’t just make the shot that’s in front of you, son. Think of where the cue ball is going to land AFTER you hit the ball you want in the pocket. That way you’ll be ready for your next shot. And the one after that…”

If you write a blog and you’re reading this, you know we always write ahead. Just to beat the deadlines of our own publication. I’m a huge fan of planning and staying ahead of what I want to publish here. 

But tonight, I’m just going to write something for right now.

This is new to us. We’ve lived through 9/11. As terrible as that was 20 years ago, it happened to other people. It was an isolated incident that changed America forever. When I say ‘other people’ I mean the rest of the country watched in horror at the events that unfolded on TV that day, but we lost nearly 3,000 lives. (2,977 to be exact.)

We’d never seen anything like it. The worst attack on US soil in the short history of our country.

But today’s different. 

A virus that’s transmitted from person to person like a cold. We’ve all caught colds, had the flu, stomach viruses, etc.

But nothing like this. 

A virus so strong that it’s easily transmitted and passes between people. No animals are affected by this virus.

Just humans.

This is just a taste of how fragile our existence is on this planet.

I don’t know where this came from, but hopefully we’ll find out, and create a vaccine for it.

But for right now, we’re all behaving very well in the first few days of this quarantine.

 

I tell my stories here about all of my dating foibles and relationships on this blog. I’ve been a decent dad and a fun boyfriend, but when comes to domestic relationships, I’ve never been able to submit.

I appreciate all of the friend and fan support on here, but as I dish out all of the dating and relationship advice, I’ve found that very thing quite the quandary.

I give advice on what to do on a date and how to maintain your relationships.

I’m good at that. I like to write words and lyrics.

But words are hollow unless applied to deeds.

I’d like to believe that my words mean something, and maybe make a small difference in the lives of the people that take the time to read this blog everyday.

And for that, I’m grateful.

 

For the moment, I’m employed by a restaurant in this city. So is my daughter, Lorelei. We’re both in the hospitality industry.

I worked last week. It was business as usual. We were gearing up to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, and March Madness was on the way. We should have made a bundle last weekend. A payday so big it would have covered the last two months of winter.

But none of that happened. No one came in. No crazy drunken crowds of people wearing green, or funny beads, or fighting, getting shitfaced for no reason, and throwing up in plastic hats at the curbside.

None of it.

Are they all so broken that they need to drink to the point of illness to celebrate the dissatisfaction and mediocrity of their lives here in Philly on a designated day?

Nothing happened.

 

Nah, something did indeed happen.

Covid-19.

 

Saturday I normally work from 2pm until at least 11pm. I came in at 5pm and was cut at 8:30pm. It was so slow that even being scheduled was a gift from the owner. When I got there, he told me I was off on Sunday. Normally, I work from 12:30pm to 10:30pm. But I was off. I haven’t had a Sunday off since August of 2019.

Monday I was scheduled to come in at 10:30am and work until 10:30pm. My typical Monday is a twelve hour day on my feet. I don’t mind. I like to work and be busy.

But by Sunday night, I was told not to come in until 4pm that day.

By 2pm I was told not to come in at all.

Off again.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and now today… Friday.

Still off.

Why?

Because every restaurant in this city has been closed for the next 14 days because of what’s happened. I was on the phone with a friend when my daughter called and told me she wouldn’t have to go into work for the next two weeks.

I told her the same.

I’ve had my share of struggles financially in the past and also with employment. Many times by my own design.

But this was different.

Everyone in the entire industry was affected.

I think they told us two weeks so we wouldn’t lose our minds. But I don’t see this ending anytime soon.

Restaurants can only do pick up and take out. No one is allowed to hang out in any bar or restaurant in this city.

That leaves most places with scheduling one cook, a clerk to ring up and take out orders, and a delivery guy.

That’s it.

The rest of us are fucked.

Well, we’re all currently fucked.

One of my brokerage accounts is down over $7k. Bills and rent are due. So yea, if my little life is an example… then yea, we’re fucked. 

Forget me for a second. Think of the people that already have the virus.

How about the people that have it and don’t know it?

But are we?

Let me take a moment as the phicklephilly guy that you’ve been reading for the last 4 years to say a few things about this.

We’re all stuck at home and can’t go out. Income is either running out or is gone. I don’t expect to be paid anymore from my current employer. I think this could go on for awhile. But here’s what I’m thinking about, and I’m going to share it with you all.

If you have your health right now, embrace it and help others that need you.

I know that sounds a bit cliche, but hear me out…

Call or text all of your friends and loved ones today and through this weekend. Just check on them. This is the perfect opportunity for you to connect and reconnect with everyone you know. It won’t be weird. Don’t make it weird. Just call and check on them. This is your perfect opportunity. Because for the first time in the history of this country, we are all experiencing the same thing. 

This is what we have in common right now.

Exactly the same thing.

The enemy is the virus. Not a man, or a country, or a race, or an idea, or a religion. This enemy doesn’t care about your race or your religious beliefs. A virus is a living entity that wants to take you over for the last time.

As a species we’ve been a scrappy lot. We’ve successfully moved to a spot that isn’t even in the food chain anymore because we’re so good at killing everything.

We are the best and the worst thing that Earth has ever known.

But we’ve made it ours and for now, Earth is where we’re hangin’.

This is an opportunity.

Right now you have your health.

Appreciate that.

Got laid off from your job? Cut your hours? Not allowed to come in because of the virus?

Use this opportunity to plan.

Humans have always been great planners. That’s how we beat everything else. Plan for the rest of your life. You’re alive now. What if you get it and you die?

Embrace this time. This forced quarantine. Think! What are you grateful for? Do you really like that job you’re currently not having to go to?

I’m a writer. I’m always planning the next few chapters in anything I’ve ever written here. 

When playing billiards with my father he always said… “Don’t just make the shot that’s in front of you, son. Think of where the cue ball is going to land AFTER you hit the ball you want in the pocket. That way you’ll be ready for your next shot. And the one after that…

After that…

After this.

This global pandemic. 

That is some scary shit. 

I’m actually surprised in the moment that I write this. The the films, Outbreak and Pandemic are very popular on Netflix. Oh, the irony of our own fate! I’ve always been a huge fan of Art imitates life, imitates art.

There’s no anarchy.

Not yet.

I’ve been off work for over 5 days now and I haven’t had this much free time in years.

Monday I went to breakfast, wrote, talked with friends and loved ones, had dinner, and watched my shows. I, for once… had nowhere to be.

Tuesday, pretty much the same.

Wednesday, More of that just living and breathing thing. Daughter came home. I was happy to see her. She went to the supermarket and bought a bunch of food. She cooked dinner for the two of us and we actually sat and ate, and chatted like a real family.

It was elegant and beautiful.

We never do that.

We work in the industry and pass in the night, and crash here.

But for the first time in a very long time, we actually sat down as a family and broke bread together.

Lorelei made an amazing stromboli from scratch. She’s vegan, so she made it that way. But for the life of me I couldn’t tell, and it tasted so delicious, I went back for seconds!

That wouldn’t have happened if not for today’s circumstances.

Embrace that. Your partner. Your children. Your health. Yourself.

(ok… here we go)

You beat 250 million other sperm to get to here.

You were racing for your mom’s egg, and there were 249,999,999 dudes chasing you.

You got there FIRST.

You won.

Embrace and appreciate that. You’re partner, your children, your friends, your employer… everybody you’ve ever met got here the same way.

You’ve earned your right to be here on Earth today. 

 

Embrace what’s good in your life right now. We all have the same problems at different degrees in this life.

But in this moment… Today. You are reading this and I hope you’re okay. If my blog suddenly stops you’ll know Capt. Trips got me. (look it up!)

Be thankful everyday for your health.

Surround yourself with good people. (But no more than 10, okay? Just for now!)

Find something to do. If you’re home, find something to do with your free time. For a workforce that’s accustomed to working themselves too long and too hard, you may find this sudden stop a bit jarring.

Are you in love? Are you feeling loved? If you have it, embrace that. It’s the strongest force in the galaxy.

No love? Stop lying. Somebody’s worried about you right now. Give them a call. This is your opportunity to forget the past. All bets are off. You can call anyone, ex, old flame, enemy, frenemy…. reach out and just check on them.

I’m going to call and check on my landlord. Who knows, maybe my diplomatic charm will get her to slide me a free month during this crisis.

Think of all of the projects and other thing you’ve been saying you want to do. But you never have any time to do any of them because you’re always working, and when you have free time you need to rest from the life of work you don’t even really want.

Go clean your house. It’s Spring! Clean up. Get rid of stuff. Have fun. Take a nap. Have a drink. Smoke some grass. Call your mom.

Have something to look forward to. Remember what I said about planning? This is your opportunity to plan for the future.

The world is on pause right now.

(I wish the fucking Dow Jones was on pause right now!)

Take this time to do whatever you want. Lean into your free time.

My goal is to crack off 3 volumes of Crazy Dating Stories by the weekend. And I’m going to fucking do it.

All I do is cry about how I don’t have anytime to write because I work so many hours.

I have no excuse now.

And neither do you.

Do something. Anything. Try something new. Even if it’s you having the ability to be at home alone in the quiet of your own mind and just take a break.

Here’s your break from everything.

 

I’ve been walking the city. This is MY city. I’ve walked it’s streets. Drank it’s wine. Danced with it’s women. Taken my share of the money that’s available here. (In my jobs, you idiots!)

The city is deserted. Sure, there are some people and kids about. Folks out walking their dogs, but it’s different right now.

It’s like nothing any of us have ever seen in our lifetimes.

I’d like everyone that reads this today to contact just one person you haven’t spoken to in awhile. It’s not like you won’t have anything to say to them! We’re all experiencing the same thing right now as a species.

You can do it!

I’d like to see some comments about this idea and what you folks did.

I have a translator widget on this blog so no one has an excuse to not do it.

Contact someone, and write your results in the comments section.

Stay safe people.

 

“Don’t be the tree that falls and makes no sound.” – Phicklephilly

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

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Crazy Dating Stories – Volume 1, is Now Available for Sale on Amazon

If you liked Phicklephilly, you’ll love Crazy Dating Stories. These are tales from the last 20 years of my dating life.

Phicklephilly the book, is a story about me moving to Philly and beginning my search for true love in our fair city.

Crazy Dating Stories is the most insane, irreverent, disgusting, and funny tales from my dating life. Everybody has stories like these, and I’d love to hear them. We’ve all been on a Date from Hell!

I went back into my history and dredged up the wildest, weirdest things that have ever happened to me while dating.

While writing and compiling these dating stories, I realized I’d been on so many I couldn’t fit them all into one book. So this is the first of a trilogy. I hope for my sake there’s never a Volume 4!

I’ve decided to make them available on Amazon Kindle and then eventually in paperback.

With everything going on with the Coronavirus and most of us having to stay home from work, now would be the time to grab a copy and get some good laughs at my expense!

You won’t be disappointed!

If anything, you’ll feel sorry for me. You’ll wonder, why did this guy hang in there as long as he did on these dates?

Now we know the answer.

To eventually get a funny story out of it!

 

You can buy it here:

 

 

MORE TO COME! 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Tales of Rock – David Bowie Banged Slash’s Mom

Slash’s mom is hot!

Of all the possible reasons for musician rivalries, David Bowie and Slash might have a unique one. It’s not that Slash ever called Bowie a has-been, or that Bowie accused Slash of ripping off one his lesser-known alter egos (The Sunglass Wizard). All Bowie did was have tons of sex with Slash’s mom when he was a kid.

During the making of The Man Who Fell to Earth, Bowie — vagabond and satanic sperm incubator — began a passionate affair with his costume designer. The lady in question was Ola Hudson, a world-famous designer responsible for the looks of other rock luminaries like Ringo Starr and John Lennon. She’s also the mother of some guy named Saul Hudson, although we know him better by the punctuation sign he now goes by.

During an interview in 2012, Slash finally admitted that he absolutely despised Bowie for being his mom’s boyfriend. And while their relationship was very mysterious to the press, Slash saw it all. The Duke was all up in their domestic life, including tucking the future hellraiser into bed like he was his eyepatch-wearing stepdad from space. Slash even saw Bowie’s Major Tom when he walked in on them during, um, naked wrestling. The guitarist does admit that he always thought Bowie was cool, just not in the “it’s cool to bang my mom” kinda way. Admittedly, that was probably a package deal if you wanted to be friends with David Bowie.

Although the whirlwind romance only lasted three years, Ola remained close with Bowie, even asking him to sit down with Slash and give him advice on overcoming his drug addiction early in his career. We’re not sure how that conversation started, but it probably ended with some door-slamming and Slash yelling, “You can’t tell me what to do! You’re not my real dad!”