4 Tinder Messages That Are Huge Turnoffs

It can be really hard to know exactly what someone you’re talking to on Tinder is looking for. One person may find witty banter irresistible, another may prefer straightforward chats, and someone else could want a mix of both. It can make saying and doing the right thing feels like a science experiment. While everyone is going to continue to have different preferences — we are all unicorns, blah blah — there are a couple of universal truths to keep in mind when messaging a match. Don’t say we never did anything for you.

1. Hitting them with “what’s your IG?”

If someone wants you to have access to their Instagram, they’ll link their Instagram to their profile. By asking this question, you’re 1. assuming that they want you to follow them and 2. not giving them the option to say no in a non-awkward way. Their only options are to ghost you, give you their handle reluctantly, or have to send an uncomfortable message telling you no. None of these scenarios really lend themselves to starting off on the right foot.

2. Messaging “guess not, lol”

Enough with the passive aggressiveness, please. Digitally stomping your foot like a child when someone doesn’t answer you within whatever number of hours you deem too many might stall the conversation, will probably get you unmatched, and makes you look very unattractive (is that a crimped nose hair I see?). I understand that someone not answering you can be disconcerting and anxiety-provoking. But you have to remember that not everyone is on the same schedule as you, and just because you respond ASAP doesn’t mean everyone else can or has to. Also, someone not answering your last message may mean you said something offensive or made them uncomfortable. Before trying to make your match feel bad or like they should be answering (an unfair power play), check whether you were out of line.

3. Asking for personal information too fast

If you met someone at a bar, would you walk up to them and ask for their first name, last name, and phone number without chatting with them first? No, because that would be weird, and the person would run away. The great part about matching with someone is entering the getting-to-know-you stage and figuring out if you vibe. Yes, the goal is to eventually meet up, and if and when you establish a strong enough rapport to do so, you can start in with your questions (but please still avoid the third degree).

4. Giving TMI

Being super open isn’t necessarily a bad thing — it can definitely lead to some interesting conversations and foster stronger connections. But there’s a fine line between being personable and relatable and recounting in detail every trauma you’ve ever endured. If someone told you their entire life story in one essay of a Tinder message, how would you react? You’d probably be a little freaked out, figure there was nothing left to learn about them, and bounce. I’m not saying you should be totally closed off, but if you find yourself wanting to disclose your social security number, maybe take a few — or 100 — steps back.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

How to Successfully Get A Date on Tinder: Learn How Tinder Actually Works and Put a Check Mark on Your List

Believe it or not, gentleman’s rules actually apply to Tinder! Even though you may think that Tinder is just another form of social media, it is better to think of Tinder as an actual dating platform instead of a cyber-connection between two strangers with the use of a simple app. Well, women are the same either way, but they tend to be able to put a little more thought into whom they would want to be on Tinder since they aren’t under any pressure of the environment. If men think that the majority of women on Tinder are easy, it may be best to think again!

Here are a few tips to get women on Tinder:

Make sure to be eye-catching

Do not forget that you get to pick as well, which is why your profile should be given a little more thought instead, and instead of putting up a picture of you chilling with your bros, why not put a picture that attracts your type of woman? If the type of woman you like is adventurous, put pictures of you doing crazy stuff like mountain climbing, swimming, or whatever it may be that you enjoy. If you are more into the conversational type of women, try to make your picture a little bit more melancholic and minimalistic to spark conversation regarding the mystery of your profile.

Put some thought into your photo choices

It would be nice to have an eye-catching first picture, and as the women try to search your other photos, they unravel different parts of your personality. The best way for you to get your ideal girl is to know what your ideal girl wants! Attraction begets attraction, so find some tips to make your photos stand out a little more. Limit yourself to at least four or five photos to avoid being a showoff. If ever you want to show your other pictures, link your Tinder profile to your Instagram profile.

Watch your description

Once again, your description should attract the type of women you want, which is why putting up the right description can increase the chances of you getting the girl that you want to swipe right! Tinder limits the number of characters you see unless you click the picture to view the full profile. This is a great opportunity for you to showcase what kind of person you are. Stop introducing yourself as blah blah blah with this height, working at this job, enjoying these kinds of things, and etc. Try to think of something ecstatic and something that sparks a discussion.

Be a catch at first glance.

A great example of this would be “Apples are better than oranges, prove me wrong,” something that invites conversation is always a good description as it allows you to take control of the conversation and put a check mark on the list of things you have to prepare yourself for. The entire conversation is up to you now! Have fun on Tinder!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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If You Miss Using Dating Apps Now That You’re In A Relationship, Here’s What To Do

After all of that swiping, matching, chatting, and meeting, you’ve finally landed yourself a keeper. You’re in a relationship with a great person, but sometimes, you still miss using dating apps. You may be wondering whether having the occasional urge to swipe is something you should be concerned about, which is a totally valid question. It turns out that there are a number of reasons why you might miss dating apps. The explanation may be as simple as you’re easily bored and you miss having a mindless activity to distract yourself with, or it could be more complicated — and could potentially be an indicator that you’re unhappy with some aspect of your relationship.

I spoke to Dr. QuaVaundra Perry, a licensed psychologist who specializes in couples’ therapy and relationship distress. She explains that there are a few things to consider if you’re in a relationship but find that you miss dating apps. She provided a list of questions to ask yourself, which, when answered honestly, can help determine if there is an unresolved issue within yourself or your relationship. Before you start to panic, you should ask yourself the following four questions. Then, evaluate your answers based on Dr. Perry’s expert advice.

1. What is it about dating apps that you miss?

Stocksy/Guille Faingold

This is the first and most important question to ask yourself, according to Dr. Perry. She explains that the specific type of dating app that you miss can help shed some light on your situation.

“If you miss being on sites aimed to connect people looking for long-term relationships, it may mean you are unfulfilled with respect to your partner’s goals and values,” says Dr. Perry. “However, if you miss being on dating apps that are designed to promote casual sexual hookups, it may indicate unfulfilled sexual desires in your current relationship or differing views on monogamy.”

Depending on which category you fall into, you may need to have a serious conversation with your partner about your needs that are not getting met, and how this could impact your future together.

2. When and why did you use dating apps?

Stocksy/Javier Pardina

It’s also important to evaluate when and why you visited dating apps or sites in the past because that can help explain the reasons behind your current urges to get back on them.

“Do you notice that you browse the sites mindlessly out of habit when you are bored or do you visit the sites when you feel rejected and alone?” says Dr. Perry. The former isn’t as big of an issue as the latter and can be more easily addressed and rectified. Consider downloading a few games on your phone. That way you can still be entertained, but without any consequences in terms of your relationship.

3. Are you happy in your relationship?

Stocksy/T-REX & Flower

“Another issue can be taming the mindset of finding the one,'” says Dr. Perry. “Oftentimes people are happy in their relationship but may feel compelled to continue using dating apps in case they are missing out on the perfect mate. Do you find yourself browsing out of curiosity?”

This is a common obstacle to finding a relationship on a dating app or at least getting someone to fully commit. It’s not out of the ordinary to question whether there is someone else out there for you who might be “better” than your current partner. This question of “What if?” may explain your reluctance to stop swiping.

4. Are you secure with yourself?

Stocksy/Studio Firma

Finally, ask yourself whether you are secure and confident in yourself. How is your self-esteem? Do you tend to get your confidence boosts through compliments from other people, or does that love come from within? This may be the hardest question to answer honestly, but it’s so important.

“At times, you may find yourself missing dating apps because it gave you a sense of validation and attention, even if short-lived,” says Dr. Perry. “It may be worth exploring whether you are looking outward for comfort and praise that can only be fulfilled within.”

There are a number of possible explanations why you might feel the need to use dating apps even though you’re in a committed relationship. Before you act rashly, though, consider what is missing from your relationship — and whether your current partner is able to help meet those needs.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Do You Have Chemistry In Real Life? 3 Signs It Only Works Over Text

You’ve been texting back and forth for days, and you’re already smitten by their flirty remarks and sharp wit. “Could this be the one?” you ask yourself, blushing by the glow of your phone screen — that is until you meet your date in person and your dreams are instantly crushed. Now, you’re wondering: Do I have chemistry in real life, or only over text?

I’ve witnessed this dating debacle firsthand.

“I don’t get it,” my girlfriend Angie* told me, as she lamented about yet another disappointing Tinder date. “We had this amazing back and forth banter going all week, he was super confident and funny. Then we finally meet up and it was awkward AF.”

It’s no secret that our phones play a massive role in dating nowadays — not only are we using them to meet people, but we’re also using them to get to know someone and assess whether they’re a good match. The problem with this is that our communication over text isn’t necessarily a solid indicator of our actual chemistry in person. By the time we meet up with someone, we’ve often already built up an understanding of who they are, based merely on the messages they’ve been sending — and that picture isn’t necessarily accurate.

“I have clients who spend two weeks texting because they want to get to know a person — but the only way you get to know a person is by meeting face to face,” Fran Greene, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and author of The Secret Rules of Flirting, tells Elite Daily. “It creates a sense of false intimacy, which can lead to a huge disappointment. The only way to gauge chemistry is to meet in person.”

Wondering whether your digital chemistry doesn’t quite translate when you’re face-to-face? Here are some signs that the sparks are flying on your phone screen, but not IRL.

You feel like your texting partner and your date are two different people.

You can’t count how many times your date’s texts had you sending the heart-eyes or smirk emoji. Undoubtedly, they have some serious digital game. When you meet in person, however, it’s a whole different story. That flirty charm is nowhere to be found.

“It can go from very affectionate texts to a very reserved and even distant feeling,” says Greene. “This can happen if the ‘vision of your crush’ is nothing like what you imagined even if you have exchanged photos.”

Sometimes you may have to be the one to make some moves to knock down your crush’s walls a bit. You can try breaking the touch barrier by putting a hand on their shoulder or knee while you’re laughing, and see how they respond. Still, if you feel like they were pretending to be someone they’re not, there’s a chance you fell for your texting partner and not your actual date. Maybe over time, your date will be able to open up and show their true selves, and you’ll finally be able to tell whether that chemistry is still there.

You’re doing far more of the conversational work in person.

Over text, your convo felt like a tennis match, with thought-provoking questions and clever responses being tossed back and forth — easy, natural, and equal. In-person, your conversation feels like throwing a tennis ball into the abyss, only to get nothing back. What gives?

“The conversation just flowed over text and when you meet in person, the silences are agonizing,” says Greene. “In-person, your anxiety can influence your spontaneity, and having a warm body in front of you changes everything — it becomes real!”

If it’s the first date, try to keep in mind that your date’s lackluster responses may be a matter of nerves. There’s a chance they might open up over time as they become more comfortable with you, and your in-person convos will match the ease of your texting ones. They could just be a little shyer when it comes to face-to-face interactions — or, of course, you could just have better texting chemistry than you do IRL.

They took their sweet time texting back.

When you’re texting, you have the advantage of taking a long pause to craft the perfect response. That’s not the case IRL — which is why you may feel like the chemistry that was explosive over text simply doesn’t exist in person.

“It’s often easier to text than talk,” adds Greene. “You can add and delete words and use emojis when texting.”

If your conversation is lacking in person, think back to when you were texting. Did it seem like there were some pauses in between their responses? They may have been editing their texts to perfection — and now that you’re making eye contact, they don’t have that luxury. Keep in mind that many of us can’t summon quite the same witty responses on the spot that we can come up with over text. The reality is, however, that your perceived chemistry may be rooted in their ability to edit their messages, which they can’t do IRL.

If you suspect that your texting chemistry isn’t quite matching up IRL, don’t stress. First of all, this is a super common conundrum.

“Because your expectations are off the charts, the likelihood of being disappointed even just a little is the norm,” explains Greene. “The best thing to do is to take a deep breath and don’t be so hard on yourself or your date. You both may be a little nervous because you thought you both found a match — and maybe you did!”

This common dating debacle is why Greene recommends waiting no longer than a week to meet up after you begin texting with your crush. While there may be extenuating circumstances sometimes that delay your date, it’s best not to wait weeks before you hang out IRL.

“It is a huge waste of your time to spend days texting as if you were long-lost lovers,” she added.

Remember: It’s a lot easier to be the best version of yourself over text. Not only do we tend to be more confident behind a screen, but we have plenty of time to weave together smart, quippy responses. The best thing to do is not to make any snap judgments on a first date, as there are lots of factors (mainly nerves) that can come into play and throw off your chemistry. Give your date a chance to relax, and time will tell whether or not the chemistry is still there IRL.

*Name has been changed.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please like, comment, share, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

10 Brilliant Pick Up Lines That Work On Tinder

Here’s a cute little collection.

There are some who do underestimate the role of these messages or just fail to recognize it. However for the majority of us it is just so difficult to master those game-changing lines of online communication.

We feel pressure because we surely want to bring out our best self. Maybe you want them to think of you as confident, friendly, mysterious or funny. The challenge is how can you say so much of yourself within just a few phrases?

What you have to do is to change your view and approach about messaging on Tinder. There are surely different ways you can achieve this, but the following list of Ten Best Tinder Openers Which Work on Tinder compiled will help you get there in no time.

Do you believe in love at first swipe?

If there’s a thing that turns on every girl on this planet is definitely confidence. Girls fall for guys who are enough confident on themselves to express their feelings, opinions and intentions whatever the consequences. This message contains the word love which is related to serious long-term intentions so it will make the girl feel special and loved. Plus it is a question and questions have this potential of making someone thinking over it unintentionally. Last but not least it has a much-needed dose of humor which helps you to appear more funny and attractive.

Really dude, are you a trash because I would like to take you out?

In terms of emotions, most guys tend to be monotonous. This is to say they only prefer a certain range of emotions. Girls on the other side are prone to experience a full spectrum of emotions. They look for guys who can make them feel an emotional rollercoaster. This pickup line does exactly the same thing. At first the girl might get irritated but at an instant she will see your point and want to keep the conversation going on. Again you appear very funny which is a plus for your attractiveness. If her reaction is positive don’t hesitate to ask her for a date.

It seems God has given you everything except my number

Girls adore flirtatious guys but not at the cost of their own pride. They just don’t want to be seen as easy targets. For some girls asking them directly to go on a date might ruin your chances. In such cases, finding another alternative route is the best idea. This is why this pickup line works on Tinder. She will think of you as very committed to achieve your goals but also cautious to respect her.

I have lost my phone number so I was guessing if I can use yours

Similar to the one above, this is one of the very best pickup lines on Tinder that will get you a date. Instead of stating your intentions straight which for some girls might not work as expected getting her number first is a great deal. Think about it: you would give your phone number to somebody unless you like that person or have a feeling there might be a chemistry between you. Communication through phone will help you a lot because it engages another sense: hearing. It is a perfect way to spark an initial reciprocal interest. Once you get her phone number you can spend some time communicating through your phone and as the conversation keeps going you can ask her for a date.

Can I ask you a question? Oh sorry two questions because I already made one.

Funny, polite and bold. This is the impression she will have for you once you send her this message. Questions are a magic tool to make someone curious especially with girls. But the problem is most girls receive tons of messages of guys seeking permission to ask for something. Nobody owes you an answer. The second part of this pickup line will give you the advantage if not for anything else it’s because will make her laugh and girls love to laugh a lot.

I’ve never seen more beautiful eyes than yours. I wonder if they look the same in real life.

Compliment is a typical flirtatious behavior especially when it’s done at the right time on a proper way. Girls fall easy for compliments because it makes them feel beautiful, desired and confident. She probably hears lots of different compliments but there is hardly any thing else that can move her heart than a poetic, romantic and sexy compliment about her eyes. Because as the saying goes “eyes are a window to one’s spirit”. What’s even good about these words is that establish a sort of invisible addiction so she won’t just skip that message but we’ll keep herself engaged and you can then convince her on a date.

Hey sweetie would you like to be my Tinderella?

If you would be able to delve deeper into the mind of your Tinder crush, you would find that there still lives a little Cinderella who dreams of being the starring role on her own fairytale story. A message like this will uncounscily make her wonder if you’re the prince she’s been waiting for and will definitely agree to go on a date with. Give it a shot.

What is your ideal format for a date? Mine is DD/MM/YY.

Expressing your intentions straight is a sign of confidence, openness and sincerity. Girls do appreciate these personality traits and they would not hesitate to go on a date with a guy who is like that. In addition, when all these combine with your unique sense of humor it is almost for sure that you’re on her list of guys who she would definitely have a talk in real life.

I thought angels belong to paradise but since you’re here, let’s go on a date.

Trust your intuition. If you think she’s kind of a person who believes on first-sight love stories or those played on movies a strong romantic expression will reframe her thought patterns toward you. Pay attention to how this message is formulated. It would have a little different meaning if you would say it like “but since you’re here can we go on a date?”. That’s because her irrational thinking would start making calculations whether you would be a perfect “match” or not. You won’t appear as arrogant because the first part of the sentence is your alibi. It is a way of saying “look, I feel like we’ve been created for each other and I’m decided to make this thing happening”. Ready to love but never to give up, simple as that.

Are you a vegan? Because I would definitely like to meet you.

Just pray she’s not vegan because if otherwise then this pickup line message would make your chances of having a date with date girl disappear. If she’s not then it will create your image of funny and creative guy with whom everyone would like to spend time with. She will feel desired and might try to act like a hard-to-get chick, but a few moments later she will admit she finds you interesting and will eventually accept to go on a date with you.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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Is Using Dating Apps For Validation A Bad Thing? Here’s The Verdict

On the heels of a bad breakup, Kristina, 27, wasn’t ready to find a new partner just yet. She wanted an easy, drama-free way to boost her confidence — so she downloaded Tinder Gold, a paid Tinder upgrade that lets users swipe through people who have already swiped right on them. “I had a bruised ego … so I loved the idea of getting to pick from men who picked me first,” she remembers. “But most of all, it was a ginormous ego boost.” Kristina found herself using dating apps for validation, with no real intention of pursuing anyone she met online. “Every single time I swiped on a hot guy from the group, it was a match,” she explains. “I was so flattered.”

Kristina was using apps mostly to feel good about herself — and it turns out, this practice is pretty common. According to an October 2019 study by MTV News & MTV Insights, 61% of respondents (ages 18-29) said they’re more interested in discovering who is attracted to them online than actually going out with anyone. That statistic suggests dating apps are basically a forum for public affirmation. And the reason why is obvious — it’s exciting to get that adrenaline rush when you receive a flirty message from someone hot. It’s similar to the validation you feel when you post a fire selfie that racks up tons of appreciative comments on Instagram. Everyone has insecurities, and hearing positive feedback from others can temporarily soothe some of that self-doubt.

“While we are using dating apps in the name of finding love, there’s also a selfishness that appears to be there,” Terron Moore, vice president and editorial director of MTV News, the site that conducted the study, tells Elite Daily. “And I don’t even know that you could blame anyone for that. I think we’re all self-interested in our own way.” He notes that although the study results showed a majority of people are looking for validation, this isn’t mutually exclusive with seeking out a partner. Forty-two percent of respondents said they’re looking for a long-term relationship, and 30% are looking to date people casually — even though they may be hoping to build their self-esteem as well.

Young woman chating or messaging while using her mobile phone or her smart phone during her travelling or waiting the train in the train station

Shutterstock

Kristina admits that her dating spree made her feel “selfish” at times, but she still believes the experience helped her through a difficult phase of her life. “Using dating apps and seeing just how many guys there are out there who would date me helped me feel desirable again after being in a relationship that made me feel so unwanted and lonely,” she says. “I’m not proud of relying on male validation for confidence — and it was just one piece of the puzzle — but it definitely accelerated the process.” Though she planned on staying single for awhile, she met a guy after two months who she “fell hard and fast” for. Now, one year later, they’re still happily together.

Using apps as a confidence boost can also help people keep their romantic prospects at an emotional distance. For Courtney, 24, using Bumble and Hinge for validation is a way for her to protect herself from heartbreak. “I deal with a lot of insecurity [and] anxiety around my romantic relationships, so by using the app more so for validation, I can control the narrative and my feelings.” she explains. She recently matched with one of her college crushes, and she felt comfortable knowing she could end the conversation whenever she wanted to. “It works short-term, kind of like the junk food of a dating life?” she says. “It gives you the rush of knowing someone likes you, without having to deal with the actual relationship or risk getting hurt.”

According to relationship therapist Rachel Zar, many people use apps for validation because this practice feels safe and easily accessible. “The risk — both emotionally and physically — feels low,” she tells Elite Daily. “And the hit of dopamine we get — if short-lived — feels really good.” Without even leaving the house, you can access hundreds of potential matches who will tell you over and over again how attractive they find you. And there’s no real danger in chatting with them through the app, where you can always block their profile if you start to get uncomfortable.

It’s not inherently bad to feel flattered by compliments, Zar says. It only becomes a problem when external validation starts to affect the way you feel about yourself. “It becomes unhealthy when it feels as though you’re relying on how many messages or matches you get to dictate your entire self worth,” she says. “Self-esteem that’s determined by the opinions of others is precarious; it can just as easily be given to us as it is taken away.” You should have confidence in yourself regardless of how others feel about you — otherwise, swiping through dating apps might feel like putting a Band-Aid over a deeper wound. It helps momentarily, but it doesn’t actually combat your insecurities.

IT’S NOT INHERENTLY BAD TO FEEL FLATTERED BY COMPLIMENTS. IT ONLY BECOMES A PROBLEM WHEN EXTERNAL VALIDATION STARTS TO AFFECT THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF.

Tracie, 24, found herself in this predicament when she was trying to get over an ex. “My coping mechanism to deal with a breakup would be to distract myself with getting back on the apps instead of just dealing and healing my emotions first,” she tells Elite Daily. “I would quickly get back onto the apps and find myself a rebound … but it didn’t work! I’d still have feelings for my ex, and it would cloud up my new relationship.” She ultimately decided she needed to stop until she had healed from the split on her own. “I definitely was using the apps as a crutch to make me feel like I was still worthy,” she says. “If I keep bringing all the lingering vibes from my last relationship without clearing them, I’m not going to be able to fully commit to another person and be capable of having a healthy relationship. I wanted to stop the cycle and heal myself!”

Tracie was onto something, according to Zar: Seeking out validation can sometimes get in the way of finding a healthy relationship. “It’s important to try to develop self esteem that comes from within instead of from others,” Zar tells Elite Daily. “This means developing a sense of what it means to you to be worthy or to succeed based on your own value system.” And only you can really know how to walk that line. If it means you have to pull back from dating apps for awhile while you work on loving yourself, that could help you come back to the dating scene more aware of what you want in a partner.

Zar suggests setting small, actionable life goals for yourself that you can easily accomplish and can be proud of. “Set yourself up for success by creating goals that actually feel achievable,” she says, “and have tons of self-compassion for the fact that sometimes we all fall short.” Take care of your physical health by prioritizing sleep, social time, and mental space to pursue your passions. You can also consider resources like therapy to help you work through any painful past experiences that might be affecting the way you see yourself now.

AS photo studio/Shutterstock

Besides the fact that using apps for validation can make you feel worse, you might also be leading people on by doing it. According to the MTV study, 43% of people have swiped right on someone who they were not physically attracted to, and 39% have talked with someone they had no intention of meeting in person. For those people who really do want to meet up with their matches, this leads to a frustrating uncertainty about the intentions of others. By chatting only with people you’re genuinely interested in, you can avoid deceiving them.

Moore explains that in some ways, having competing online dating goals — seeking validation vs. seeking love — can be counter-productive. “There does seem to be a gulf between being on dating apps to find love and being on dating apps to feel that self-validation,” he says. Focusing too much on getting that immediate confidence boost can detract you from your goal of finding a real relationship that translates off-line.

But first and foremost, make sure you aren’t relying on apps to mask an underlying feeling of unworthiness. You don’t need Tinder matches to make you feel beautiful, just like you don’t need a partner to make you feel whole. There’s nothing wrong with a little shameless flirting with someone you genuinely are attracted to, as long as it fills your cup rather than making you feel empty. The only person who can truly make you feel loved and valuable is you.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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What is the Hinge dating app, and how does it work?

From Tinder and Bumble to Grindr and OkCupid, there are dating apps galore for those who want love at their fingertips. Hinge is a lesser-known app that can easily get lost in the sea of options, but it’s still worth taking note of its special approach. Who knows? Maybe Hinge is the dating app for you.

For starters, Hinge is swipe-free. Focused less on mindlessly flipping through options and more on cultivating relationships, this app isn’t intended for casual hookups. It is, as the website states, “designed to be deleted.”

Here’s everything you need to know about the Hinge app and how it works.

What is the Hinge dating app?

Most dating apps are more or less set up the same way but with minor tweaks. However, Hinge boasts a pretty unique interface. Here’s a breakdown of all its features.

Hinge

Beyond the pictures

The dating app experience is nearly synonymous with swiping—so much so that “swipe left” is now slang for finding someone unattractive. But if we’re being honest with ourselves, mechanically swiping on human beings (often solely based on their looks) can be a little dehumanizing and lonely. It certainly isn’t the most ideal way to find a partner. That’s why Hinge ditched the classic swiping mechanic in 2015 in favor of scrolling through profiles. The app encourages users to focus more on personality traits rather than just photos. Judging from the fact that Hinge got more shoutouts in the New York Times wedding section in 2017 than Tinder and Bumble, this method seems to be working.

Furthermore, Hinge collects a lot more data than, say, Tinder. It allows people to emphasize which “filters,” or traits, are most important to them (e.g., religion or height). This allows the app’s algorithm to find more personalized and suitable matches. Once per day, this algorithm will pick out your “Most Compatible” match, ideally making it a teeny bit easier for you to find your soulmate.

Beyond the screen

Hinge also tries to combat the difficulties posed by a tech-based experience. The impersonal feel of an app makes it far too easy to ghost whoever’s on the other end of the algorithm. To discourage this kind of behavior and to aid the forgetful, Hinge introduced an anti-ghosting feature. “Your Turn” reminds users to respond to messages they’ve left sitting in their inboxes. The developers also made an effort to consider life beyond the app. The “We Met” feature allows users to provide valuable feedback on actual dates they went on with their matches, which aids the algorithm for future pairings.

All in all, Hinge is for people looking for a more personal dating app experience. Here’s how to actually use the app.

fizkes/Shutterstock

Is the Hinge app free?

You can use many of the Hinge app’s features and browse profiles in your area for free. But if you want to get the most out of the app, you’ll want to consider upgrading to the Preferred Hinge membership. The higher-tier option gets you all the features of the free app, plus lets you apply filters on potential matches including “height, whether someone has children, whether someone wants children, politics, drinking, smoking, marijuana, and drug use.” The paid version also saves time by giving you unlimited likes and the option to see everyone who liked you at the same time.

Preferred Hinge membership is offered for $9.99 per month, $19.99 for three months, or $29.99 for six months.

How does the Hinge dating app work?

After setting up your basic profile and photos, you’ll be given an array of personal questions to look at. Choose three of these to answer and display on your profile—keep in mind that these are what will be drawing people in, so pick wisely!

Then, choose all the filters that match up with the type of person you’re looking for, like gender, age, ethnicity, and more. While Hinge is free for everyone, paid tiers offer more filter customization if you have a specific set of desired traits in mind. If there are some filters you’re dead set on, mark those as “dealbreakers” to ensure you come across the right profiles.

Now, it’s time to actually start searching. Go to the “discover” tab on the bottom left of your screen to check out your suggested matches. Then, peruse people’s profiles, liking and commenting on what sticks out to you. If someone doesn’t float your boat, you can choose to pass. Otherwise, you can strike up a conversation and see where that takes you.

Here’s to hoping you find your happily ever after!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

 

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Tinder Moments – 18 Strange Tinder Profiles To Make You Cringe Your Face Off

I haven’t done one of these in a while, but why not? These are crazy!

picture someone in spiderman costume above city tinder spider-Man, 37 Crime fighter at The Avengers less than a kilometre away. Friendly, sensitive, strong sense of responsibility, liberal sexual attitude. Two previous Itrs, neither ended particularly well so now I'm looking for that special someone to hang around with. Good with heights and basic first aid deal breaker ed but not a EDIT INFO

 

18 Strange Tinder Profiles To Make You Cringe Your Face Off

Tinder is a place where people should express themselves, because if you’re looking for a partner for sexy time, or a partner for the not-sexy-times too (which we call a relationship), you should just get it over with and show off your weirdest quirks straight away. Right?! Well that’s what these Tinder people did, and… actually maybe I change my mind. Don’t do what these people did, because people (like us) will laugh at your f*cking weird Tinder profiles. Sorry not sorry. Heh heh.

  • 1
    Selfie girl with glasses blur lips tinder- Done Kelly, 20 24 miles away Active 1 week ago About Kelly Im sentient trash. nonbinary femme queer (im not a woman and don't call me one). I like lots of other stuff: bedroom pop, cartoons, food, puppies, aliens, u name it. STRANGEBEAVER.cOm X

  • 2
    picture man wearing backpack in muddy field tinder Mark, 36 McMaster University less than a kilometer away I'm looking for a girl to dress up like Garfield and eat lasagna off my chest. No weirdos. 102 Friends for Common Connections ID

  • 3
    picture girl long red hair tinder Vegan, feminist, I only date guys with muscles and an income. Anti vaxination. I am a vegan. If your not an atheist you need to check yourself. You know my name, not my story. X

  • 4
    picture blonde girl tinder i love me a guy in a fedora:) just kidding if u wear a fedora don't FUCKING message me RECOMME SYDNEY X

  • 5
    picture girl bright orange hair tinder I'm a chubby non-binary vegan queer. I sling vegan baked goods for a living. I reference Harry Potter on the daily. If you're not down for polyamory then we probably won't get along. Xearning ve only make frie e since M

  • 6
    girl wearing glasses red lipstick tinder About Mary Feminist, vegetarian, journalist, music junkie.

  • 7
    tinder messages Perrity YOU MATCHED WITH PERRITY ON 13/2/17. k-konnichiwa cutie chan; 33 *tips fedora and blushes* *hides behind corner waiting for m'lady to respond* Sent Okay wtf is happening Type a Message... Send GIF

  • 8
    guy taking selfie glasses blue shirt tinder- Tim, 23 Sam Houston State University 40 miles away lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched some woman at that party. him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch X ored Panda/ Tinder

  • 9
    selfie girl hair tinder Done Sydney, 24 18 miles away Active 33 seconds ago About Sydney The only reason I want a boyfriend is so that when I'm singing Fergilicious and it's at the part where she says "I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness he's my witness" I can point to him and he'll do the little "WOOOOH" part because right now I have to do both parts by myself and it's stressful because right after the WOOOOH part I have to get right back into rapping and the transition is hard

  • 10
    girl taking selfie looking drunk tinder Vanessa, 19 18 miles away If what you look for is a girl with personality then you're in luck because I have multiple Don't listen to her X BoredPanda/ Tinder 3

  • 11
    picture girl eating burrito sky tinder - Rachel, 20 1 mile away active 14 minutes ago About Rachel tbh I just want to get some free chipotle out of this

  • 12
    picture pretty girl smiling in tree tinder Megan, 24 37 miles away Active 9 hours ago About Megan I prefer my men out of shape and overly sensitive. X

  • 13
    selfie girl smiling tinder Alessandra, 27 10 miles away Active 1 hour ago I'm married and not interested. I just think Tinder is a fun activity while l poop.
  • 14
    picture girl black hair tinder Nicole, 19 43 miles away Active 41 minutes ago I'm 5'11, and if you couldn't tell I have long brown hair and huge tits

  • 15
    picture blonde girl tinder Chelsea, 23 25 kilometers away Active 1 hour ago If you like celery in soup, I hope you like celery on your children's graves because ur weak, ur bloodlines weak, and you'll never survive the winter

  • 16
    picture girl black hair tinder Samantha, 21 7 miles away Active 1 day ago Standing tall at 5'2" I want to do adult things with you.. "whispers* taxes "panting softly* pay the mortgage *moans* make sure we turned off all the lights, our utility bill was fucking $300 this month

  • 17
    picture girl hose water spraying into mouth tinder Courtney 21 Distance: 14 miles away Active: 51 minutes ago Tagline How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammer...merciless...insatiable... Shared Friends

  • 18
    picture someone in spiderman costume above city tinder spider-Man, 37 Crime fighter at The Avengers less than a kilometre away. Friendly, sensitive, strong sense of responsibility, liberal sexual attitude. Two previous Itrs, neither ended particularly well so now I'm looking for that special someone to hang around with. Good with heights and basic first aid deal breaker ed but not a EDIT INFO

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

 

Tinder Is A Waste Of Time For Most People

Dating apps won’t help you much if your goal is to have more relationships. You would probably succeed just as well—or poorly—without it.

“For people who don’t pull off one-night stands without using Tinder, Tinder doesn’t offer much in the way of new opportunities,” says postdoctoral fellow Trond Viggo Grøntvedt in NTNU’s Department of Psychology.

He is the first author of a new article in Evolutionary Psychological Science that deals with the use of Tinder. If you’re failing outside Tinder, then you don’t have much to gain from using Tinder, either.

“For people who actually have sexual relations outside Tinder, Tinder use only provides a limited increase in the number of one-night stands,” Grøntvedt says.

Same people succeed both ways

“Most of the people who succeed on Tinder have casual sex and hook-ups otherwise, too,” says Professor Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair at the Department of Psychology at NTNU.

The researchers have previously found that Tinder use did not lead to an increase in one-night stands.

“We have found little reason to claim that dating apps lead to more short-term sexual relationships than before,” says Associate Professor Mons Bendixen, also in NTNU’s Department of Psychology.

There is thus no reason for any moral outrage from anyone.

Swiping

Tinder is one of several match-making apps. It uses location services to find other users nearby and then tries to match users with each other.

Selecting someone is simple and effective: candidates pop up with a picture and some information on the screen. Swiping to the left means you’re not interested in a meet-up. Swiping to the right means you would like to meet the person. If two people swipe right on each other, the app can help them meet.

But sweeping and searching on Tinder has very limited effectiveness for the vast majority of users, who will probably succeed just as well by meeting live people instead.

Lots of hits needed

A lot of hits are needed on Tinder before any lead to a meeting. And even more hits are required before any kind of relationship can happen, whether we’re talking about a one-night stand or a meeting a partner with the aim of having a long-term committed relationship.

Men and women tend to use Tinder and other dating apps differently. Most women take more time to evaluate potential matches and are more often looking for a relationship, whereas most men are quicker in their assessments and swipe to the right far more often in the hope that a high enough number will result in at least one hit.

80 percent achieve nothing

About 20 percent of users had one-night stands after using Tinder. The vast majority of them had only experienced this once. Thus, eight of ten users never have sex after using the app.

“Tinder may offer new sexual opportunities, but these appear to be very limited,” says Kennair.

Only a tiny group of seven people, between two and three percent of the study participants, had one-night stands exclusively after meeting someone through Tinder. The rest achieved this by traditional dating methods as well.

Age and attitudes matter

Participants were asked to evaluate how physically attractive they found themselves to be. How physically attractive users are can predict the extent to which they succeed in having short-term sex when using Tinder.

“But this also applies when you’re not using dating apps. Some people get a lot, and a lot get none,” says Kennair.

“Both age and attitudes towards casual sex affect how often you actually achieve a one-night stand after using Tinder. But these are the same factors that play in elsewhere as well,” Grøntvedt says.

If you are more comfortable with casual sex, you’ll also have it more often.

“But there’s also a connection between a high interest in short-term sex encounters and less chance of meeting someone interested in a long-term relationship through the use of the dating app,” says Bendixen.

Not effective for long-term relationships either

Female Tinder users are, on average, more interested in finding long-term relationships than men are. This also applies to encounters without using dating apps.

But according to this and previous studies, Tinder is not a very effective way to meet a long-term partner, either.

Ernst Olav Botnen had the idea for this study. He is currently a clinical psychologist at Lovisenberg Diakonale Hospital in Oslo.

“It’s interesting to see how the behavior we see in other arenas, like bars and nightclubs, is reflected in dating apps,” says Botnen.

Of the 269 study participants who were active or former Tinder users, 62 percent were women.

“Since the participants in our selection are university students in their early 20s, it will be interesting to see if our findings apply to other groups and age ranges in future research,” Botnen says.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

15 Bumble Bio Ideas To Use During The Coronavirus That’ll Rack Up Matches

No pressure or anything, but what you write in your bio could mean the difference between a right or left swipe. IRL, you can catch someone’s attention with a flirty smile across a packed bar, a witty joke deployed via DM slide, or bold moves on the dance floor. On dating apps, however, you have a limited number of words (and photos) to make that crucial first impression. Dating apps are more crowded than ever these days, so check out these Bumble bio ideas to use during the coronavirus pandemic.

Odds are, you’re spending more time than ever swiping away now that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has recommended social distancing. The key to attracting quality matches, of course, is to put your best foot forward — and a clever bio is a great way to show off your personality and sense of humor.

A warning: Now is not the time to test out your edgiest jokes. Kindness and respect are always welcome on dating apps — so please, steer clear of offensive jokes that make light of people who are sick, out of work, or on the front lines.

This is easier than you might think. Need some inspiration? The following bios are ready to use — all you have to do is hit copy and paste. Whether you’re searching for your soulmate or just a pen pal to casually flirt with, these bios are bound to rack up the matches.

Shutterstock

1. Seeking someone that looks at me the way I look at the last roll of toilet paper RN.

2. Now accepting Venmo payments for our next virtual date: [insert handle here].

3. Current hobbies include: mindlessly looking inside my fridge every 20 minutes, panic-scrolling Twitter, maybe chatting with you?

4. Pros: looks decent in a face mask. Cons: spotty WiFi signal.

5. Using this sitch to work on fulfilling my dream of becoming a TikTok sensation. HBU?

6. Please remember to practice safe sext (washing your hands for at least 20 seconds).

7. Signature scent: Purell.

8. Current theme song: “All By Myself.”

9. I’m just a human, standing 6 feet away from another human, asking them not to move any closer.

10. Looking for my Prince Charmin.

11. Tell me your go-to quarantine snack and we’ll go from there.

12. FYI, I make a mean quarantini.

13. Apparently, what you stock up on says a lot about you. For me, it’s coffee and wine.

14. Major points if you can send me the perfect coronavirus-meets-Tiger King meme.

15. There’s a 50/50 chance I’ll be wearing PJs on the bottom during our next virtual date. Just trying to kick things off on a note of pure honesty.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

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