As someone who spent the vast majority of her life single, I know how fun it can be. That being said, I also know firsthand what losing hope about finding love can feel like. Spoiler: It’s not great.
For those of you who haven’t been there, let me paint you a picture. You’ve been single for what feels like forever. The last person you met was really great and you even saw a future with them. The two of you continued to see each other for weeks, months, or maybe even years until you mustered up the courage to tell them how you felt. At that point, they offered up some excuse about why they’re not looking for anything serious. This wouldn’t be quite so tragic if this was the first time this ever happened. Unfortunately, that’s not the case here. In fact, different versions of this same story have happened to you so often that you’ve resigned to the idea that maybe you were just destined to be single forever. And that thought can be catastrophically painful. I mean, what’s the next step after you’ve given up on love entirely?
Well, in a recent Reddit AskWomen thread, ladies who have been there share their best advice for getting your groove back when you’re starting to lose faith in love.
Treat your body like the temple that it is.
Start working out, eating healthy, getting 8 hours of sleep most nights, bathing daily, brushing your teeth twice a day, start reading a book at least a little every day and join a club for something you’re interested in. Work on you, put your best foot forward. Stop looking for a man and just gobble up the best life has to offer. Men will find you. Don’t settle for the first one unless he fits. Find someone with aspirations, a good kind sense of humor, intelligence, a clear criminal background and a similar take on life as you.
(This advice holds true for relationships with people of all genders, as does every other piece of advice in this story!)
Try changing your perspective for what a partner should be.
My dad told me recently, “You don’t look for a soul mate, you look for a teammate”. It completely changed the way I looked at dating.
Don’t put so much pressure on marriage.
Stop worrying about it. You don’t need to get married, just concentrate on you!
Enjoy the f*ck out of your life. For all you know, you get one go on this planet and i for one would feel like i wasn’t doing that justice by being sad about not having a man.
Sure it sucks sometimes. But he’s more likely to come a long if you’re enjoying all that life has to offer. He’s more likely to be compatible with you too.
Live in the now.
Consider your alternative.
I mean I get down about it from time to time, but I do tell myself it’s better than being in a miserable relationship. That is a lot more stressful.
Become the best possible version of yourself.
Enjoy your own company. Make yourself the most interesting person you know and like doing things by yourself. Because you never know, even if you find a partner, if they will be around for the rest of your life so might as well make the only person you’re guaranteed to have (yourself) fun and awesome.
Find a hobby.
Hobbies. Hobbies. Hobbies. Then finding social outlets for those hobbies. And everything else just happens on its own.
At the end of the day, all you can do is be grateful for the life you have and the people you are surrounded by. Make the most of what you’ve got.
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