Tales of Rock – Ian “Lemmy” Kilmister Consumed Jack and Meat

Lemmy Kilmister was the frontman of Motorhead, an all around hard rock legend and a lifelong poster boy for friendly mutton chops. He was one of the very few true rock ‘n’ roll icons of the olden times who not only graced the land of the living for far longer than anyone expected, but did it actively doing his thing.

He was also, with the possible exception of Keith Richards, by far the most unlikely person to actually do so.

The Diet:

Jack Daniels, meat, cheese, drugs.

Lemmy drank at least one bottle of whiskey a day, and did it for over 35 years. The food he consumed was equally unhealthy: He loathed vegetables and ate mainly meats and cheese, with the occasional cake or biscuit thrown in, administered on a “however much he likes, whenever he likes it” basis. He’d been smoking since he was 11. He did copious amounts of drugs daily, and did so for decades.

If that sounds like the lifestyle of every rock star on earth, you’re partially right. But what set Lemmy apart was his apparent good health. His liver was completely fine. As were his kidneys. And lungs. In fact, the man was pretty much as healthy as he’d ever been — the few times he’d actually been ill were everyday performer stuff such as a lung infection and stage dehydration. Even then, he maintained a schedule that would have exhausted a person half his age.

There was evidence that he was only human, though: Sometimes, when the concert conditions got unbearably sweaty, he was known to hydrate by adding a couple of extra ice cubes to his onstage Jack and Coke.

I love you Lemmy! Rest in Peace!

 

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Tales of Rock – Update: Pamela Des Barres’ Memoirs Also Contradicted Lori Maddox’s Story

Since writing and publishing my prior post fact checking Lori Mattix’s (Maddox’s) claim that she lost her virginity to David Bowie the night before his first March 1973 Long Beach show at the age of 15, another significant issue has come to my attention.

Pamela Des Barres’s celebrated memoirs, I’m with the Band, also contradict Ms. Mattix’s account. By late 1972, Ms. Des Barres, aged 24 at the time, had been in a long-standing relationship with Jimmy Page. She ended her relationship with him, however, before moving in with Frank and Gail Zappa (for whom she’d previously worked as a nanny) in February 1973, precisely because of Page’s ongoing relationship with Mattix:

I realized how desperate I was for attention and affection I was when good old Led Zep came to town and I flopped around with Jimmy again. The first night was wonderful, even though he had started to ingest many harmful substances, but the second night he left me stranded in front of the Whiskey like a floundering, faded Jezebel while he sleazed off with a thirteen-year-old nymphet called Lori Lightning [Mattix’s modeling pseudonym]. I sat around all night with the rest of the group, getting pissed, and they all agreed I was too good for that sort of treatment. Oh, well.

Importantly, this occurred before her move into the Zappa’s home in February 1973, and therefore well before David Bowie’s March 1973 Long Beach concerts. Between Ms. Mattix’s own accounts and Ms. Des Barres’s memoirs, it increasingly seems that the fact that the underage Ms. Mattix was already in a relationship with Jimmy Page well before she claims to have lost her virginity to David Bowie cannot be seriously disputed.

 

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Crazy Eyes

Here we were living in Santa Monica, and living the dream. Just a bunch of poor musicians having the time of our lives.

I was at a party at a friend’s place. One of his friends had been flirting with me all night, but it wasn’t normal flirting — she wouldn’t say a word to me. She’d only touch me and giggle as I walked by. Towards the end of the party, she took my hand and quietly led me to her room, which has a bed and just a bunch of clothes everywhere. Less than sixty seconds into making out, she started to go down on me. Which I accepted. I realized how creepy and weird the situation had been to that point, but it was head. What nineteen year-old dude turns down oral?

She finished up, and put her head on my chest to rest. At that point, I was thinking this girl was loony tunes, but I didn’t want to be an ass, so I began to reciprocate. But she grabbed my hand and stopped me, and said, “Sorry, I have a boyfriend and I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that.” I looked at her totally dumbstruck. She must have misinterpreted my dropped jaw to mean that I was hurt, because she immediately came back with, “But it was really nice sucking your cock.” These were the first words she’d said to me all night.

So we were both quite high, we decided to head back to my place. Everything seemed normal. She finally decides to get it on with me. Sex was good and then we got to talking. Since we’re both high, we started talking about death and what happens to your body after you die and she asks me whether I have ever thought about killing anyone. I could sense a creepy story coming my way and just shook my head.

She then proceeded to narrate how she has always thought about killing someone by suffocating them, with a pillow. And since we were on the bed, there were 2 pillows around us and of course, I was majorly creeped out. She was looking at me with the crazy eyes and I was so confident that I wouldn’t see the sun rise the next day. I turned around and pretended to sleep. After a couple of hours, she left without saying a thing.”

 

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Tales of Rock – All the Drugs, Murder, Adultery, and Disaster Around Eric Clapton’s Layla

You know “Layla,” the hit single from Derek and the Dominos, but do you know the wild ’70s rock star tales behind its creation? Drug-fueled insanity, hedonism, and death all left their mark on this now-classic song, and you can even say its release marked the end of ’60s idealism. Right at the middle of this musical maelstrom sit two legendary guitar players: Eric Clapton and George Harrison. The crazy truth of the matter is that “Layla” – and the bulk of the material on the lone Derek and the Dominos album, Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs – was inspired by Clapton’s obsession with Harrison’s wife, Pattie Boyd.

Harrison and Clapton were best friends at the time the rock legend penned the song about unrequited love, and the results were far from what he’d hoped for. While “Layla” has become one of Clapton’s greatest hits, the album didn’t see success until about two years after the band broke up. Derek and the Dominos seemed doomed as well, as each of its members fell on hard times.

From drug abuse to plagiarism to murder, read on to discover the tragic Derek and the Dominos stories associated with “Layla.”

Eric Clapton Formed The Band To Serenade George Harrison’s Wife
Eric Clapton Formed The Band T... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list All the Drugs, Murder, Adultery, and Disaster Around Eric Clapton's Layla

In 1970, Eric Clapton, Duane Allman, Bobby Whitlock, Carl Radle, and Jim Gordon formed the supergroup known as Derek and the Dominos. Despite the formidable talent assembled, the band was seemingly doomed from the start; even Clapton calls them “a make-believe band.”

Clapton went on to confess that his motivation for starting the group was to create a cover for his love songs about Pattie Boyd, George Harrison’s wife. “I had to come out and admit that I was being me. I mean, being Derek was a cover for the fact that I was trying to steal someone else’s wife.”

George Harrison of the Beatles married model Pattie Boyd in 1966. But Harrison was a womanizer, and marriage didn’t seem to curb his wandering eye. He took a trip to India, and when he came home he explained to Boyd that he needed concubines because he’d decided to model himself after the god Krishna. He began a string of affairs, regardless of Boyd’s feelings on this turn in their relationship.

Harrison And Clapton Shared Ro... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list All the Drugs, Murder, Adultery, and Disaster Around Eric Clapton's Layla

Clapton dated Boyd’s sister Paula at one point. Harrison suggested that he and Boyd go out with the couple one evening, and that they could switch partners. Clapton found he couldn’t go through with it and stopped the swap from actually happening.

Another time, one of Clapton’s ex-girlfriends came to stay with Harrison and Boyd post-breakup. Boyd considered the woman a friend, but Harrison had other ideas. He sent his wife to go stay with some friends so he could have a fling with the ex in private. Once he’d had his fun, he phoned Boyd to tell her the girl had gone and she could come home now.

Jim Gordon Might Have Ripped Off That Piano Melody
Jim Gordon Might Have Ripped O... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list All the Drugs, Murder, Adultery, and Disaster Around Eric Clapton's Layla

The famous four-minute piano coda that closes “Layla” was credited to drummer Jim Gordon. It later came to light that Gordon may have swiped the melody from his ex-girlfriend, singer Rita Coolidge. She left him for assaulting her. According to Coolidge, Gordon once “hit [her] so hard that [she] was lifted off the floor and slammed against the wall on the other side of the hallway.”

Coolidge says she was working on a song called “Time” while still living with Gordon. The couple worked on it together and even played it for Clapton at one point, but her portion of the melody was slipped into “Layla” a year later without her permission. When she confronted Robert Stigwood, Clapton’s manager at the time, he blew her off.

Clapton And Harrison Had A Guitar Duel Over Boyd
Clapton And Harrison Had A Gui... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list All the Drugs, Murder, Adultery, and Disaster Around Eric Clapton's Layla

During a party hosted by Robert Stigwood in 1970, Clapton admitted to Harrison that he was in love with his wife. Harrison was furious and demanded Boyd choose then and there; she ended up going home with her husband. Clapton later described himself as “a jealous Lancelot in the Camelot world of The Beatles,” and said one evening he and Harrison actually whipped out their guitars and “dueled” for two hours straight.

But another man vying for his wife’s affection apparently wasn’t a wake-up call for Harrison to treat her better. Boyd later confessed in interviews and in her memoirs that she was deeply depressed in her marriage to Harrison and had considered committing suicide.

After Clapton’s Album Flopped He Went On A 3-Year Heroin Binge
After Clapton’s Album Flopped is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list All the Drugs, Murder, Adultery, and Disaster Around Eric Clapton's Layla

The Derek and the Dominos album Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs was released in November of 1970, but this declaration of love didn’t deliver the results Clapton had hoped for. Not only was the album unsuccessful with the public (largely due to the anonymity Clapton insisted on), but it didn’t stir the emotions he’d hoped for with Boyd.

She was touched by the song “Layla,” but remained married to Harrison. According to Boyd, after she refused to run away with Clapton, he produced a bag of heroin and threatened to take it if she didn’t come with him. She still said no, and Clapton sunk into a depression-driven heroin binge that lasted about three years.

In Clapton’s autobiography, he estimated that he spent the current equivalent of about $16,000 a week on heroin, in addition to the copious amounts of cocaine, alcohol, and marijuana he was already regularly using.

Drug Use Tore Derek And The Dominos Apart
Drug Use Tore Derek And The Do is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list All the Drugs, Murder, Adultery, and Disaster Around Eric Clapton's Layla

Derek and the Dominos only released the one album; the group fell apart while attempting to lay down tracks for their second LP. But between the band’s shady origins and its initial commercial failure, it’s no surprise that Derek and the Dominos called it quits. The rampant drug use of its members contributed to the band’s rapid dissolution as well.

“It frightens me to think about it,” Clapton recalled in an interview. “It was cocaine and heroin and it wore the band down and a hostility was released that hadn’t been there before. When drugs or medication enter the picture, something happens to relationships. They just dissolve. Whatever held us together got thrown out and the atmosphere was so bad you could cut it with a knife.”

The dark cloud seemed to linger over the band’s former members once they went their separate ways. The years of substance abuse took their toll, too: in 1980, bassist Carl Radle died from a kidney infection associated with excessive drug and alcohol use. He was 37 years old.

Duane Allman Died In A Motorcycle Accident
Duane Allman Died In A Motorcy is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list All the Drugs, Murder, Adultery, and Disaster Around Eric Clapton's Layla

In 1971, almost a year after the release of Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs release, 24-year-old Duane Allman died in a horrific motorcycle accident. Allman swerved to avoid colliding with a truck, and ended up being thrown from his motorcycle.

Allman’s death became further fuel for Clapton’s depression. In his memoirs, he described Allman as the “musical brother I’d never had but wished I did.”

Harrison’s Affair With Ringo Starr’s Wife Was The Last Straw For Boyd
Harrison's Affair With Rin is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list All the Drugs, Murder, Adultery, and Disaster Around Eric Clapton's Layla

Harrison’s womanizing continued, but it seems the breaking point concerned Maureen Starkey, the wife of Beatles drummer Ringo Starr. Harrison began an affair with her and Boyd had had enough. Not only had she considered Starkey a friend, but he claimed to be in love with her.

Boyd found photographs of the two of them in her home together while she was out of town. Once, she even found them locked in a bedroom together. Harrison finally opened the door, chuckling as he told his enraged wife that Maureen was “just a bit tired so she’s lying down.”

Clapton Finally Got His Dream Girl And Wrecked It All
Clapton Finally Got His Dream is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list All the Drugs, Murder, Adultery, and Disaster Around Eric Clapton's Layla

Clapton finally kicked his heroin addiction, and in 1974 Boyd left Harrison to run off with Clapton. They were married in 1979, and somehow the trio remained friends – the two men even began referring to each other as “husbands-in-law.”

But after all the dreaming, wooing, begging, and drowning in depression that Clapton went through to get Boyd, he still cheated on her. After 14 years together, Clapton got another woman pregnant and seemed to trade in his heroin addiction for alcoholism. Boyd divorced him in 1988.

Jim Gordon Murdered His Mother
Jim Gordon Murdered His Mother is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list All the Drugs, Murder, Adultery, and Disaster Around Eric Clapton's Layla

Derek and the Dominos drummer Jim Gordon spent the 1970s fueled by booze, heroin, and cocaine, and struggling with acute schizophrenia. During this period, he began to hear his mother’s voice, among others. He stopped sleeping and eating properly and couldn’t even play the drums anymore.

Multiple physicians blamed his substance abuse, and he was treated for alcoholism instead of schizophrenia. His paranoia spiraled out of control in June of 1983, when he became convinced that his 71-year old mother was evil. Gordon bludgeoned her to death with a hammer and stabbed her with a butcher knife. He was sentenced 16 years to life in prison and has been denied parole several times.

 

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Attempted Kidnapping

“One night me and the guys in the band were out at a party at a friend’s place in Venice. It was right after I’d had a fight with my then-girlfriend Clio and I was drinking kind of heavily (I’ve always been able to hold my own, but I was drinking a lot and fast).

This one girl was constantly around me all night and I was warned by a couple people that she was going to hit on me. Whatever, I can deal with it. She was flirting with me a little bit and I made sure to add in my girlfriend to the conversation topic so there was no misunderstanding. Didn’t matter. Every time I went to talk to someone else I would feel a small butt grab, and when I looked around she was backing up giggling. Once it started getting not-so-lightly I straight up told her to stop, I had a girlfriend. (See? even back then I was loyal!)

Anyway, later in the night when I was significantly drunk I was sitting down on a chair while most people were off in another room doing something else. Well she comes in and I guess decides this is the perfect chance. She sits on my lap and starts trying to kiss me and every time I move away she bites my neck. She starts to grab at my crotch too, and even after I hit her hand away it goes right back (remember I’m significantly drunk so not all my coordination is all there).

The last thing I remember is trying to get up to get her off my lap and then I wake up the next morning in a friend of mine’s room on the floor (one of the hosts). I walk out and ask her what happened and she told me the girl was trying to walk me out of the door, telling the others she was just taking me back to ‘take care of me’ at her apartment. My friend said no dice and locked me in her room (while checking on me relatively often) so that the girl couldn’t sneak in and try anything. The girl apparently got very upset when this happened and stormed out.

It’s always nice when your friends have got your back.

 

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Bailey – Chapter 4 – Second Date – Part 2

Bailey destroys her dinner. I’m sure she doesn’t know anyone like me that would ever take her to a place like this. She’s in the theater community. Like my ex Annabelle none of those losers have any money. I like her but I’m starting to think this has become another meal ticket for a chick on OkCupid.

I don’t want to think about that, but I do.

I think about how great my first date with Cherie was. There was chemistry and it was going somewhere. Even from the first date. Cherie wanted it more than me. That’s what we all need to find. Not this shit. Why am I cheating on Cherie with this novelty?

Because Cherie is rarely around. I like company. I’m in control of my life now. I compartmentalize everything and everyone. I can manage everyone around me. I am the Sun. All of my planets are fine and they never collide. I’m at the heart of my own solar system.

The sunny Leo.

I’ll navigate this little satellite as well.

Dinner’s great. She loves it and cleans her plate. Destroys the last of the appetizer I had no interest in. I feed her more chicken from my fork.

I thought we’d share a gelato flight but she went with one each. Double my bill. Thanks, Bailey.  The gelato was orgasmic and I knew I had touched her soul, but the gelato is so good at this restaurant all you need to do is show up and make sure you order the flight. She was so blown away by the mango I gave her mine just so she’d have more to enjoy.

Eating a flight of gelato at Gran cafe L’Aquila is like listening to a Beatles album. Every song makes you feel different.

When we’re all done I pause.

I took her hands. They’re soft, small and girlish. I caress her hands and it’s really nice. She says she has midget hands and I correct her and tell her soft girl hands are nice. It feels good to touch her. Hands tell a lot about a person and her’s are especially small, girlish and nice. (This is my favorite part of the date.)

“I remember when we met on Christmas Eve on our first date, Bailey. You were wearing all black and white. You were very stylish and it was a great look for you. I loved your top, the skirt, the patterned stockings, the boots. Really put together. Beautiful.”

“Oh, thank you!”

“Okay… So I was walking to work today, and I was thinking about you and that day and your outfit and how great you looked. ”

This is when I pulled the black bag from the floor and put it on the table. It’s plastic and she never saw this coming.

I push it to her and she opens it. She reaches inside and pulls out a beautiful black and white scarf. It’s one of these that’s shaped like an 8. Thick and soft. It’s been a cold winter and I think this is an appropriate 2nd date birthday gift for a girl I like.

I think you’d all agree with me.

Baliey is so grateful. It was an impulse buy while walking through Suburban Station today. It just looked perfect and great for her style. It goes over well. She goes to put it back in the bag and notices something else. A 4 pack of Black and Mild filtered cigars that I know she likes.  (This came up on the first date)  She’s ecstatic, and very gracious.

I like all of this and tonight’s second date has been a roaring success albeit a costly one for our hero.

I of course pay the $80 fucking bill and get our coats. I put hers on her and even pull her hair from the collar. I’m 55. She’s 28. Here I am. I know guys younger than me that are pulling their puds at home.

My life is fun and beautiful.

We get outside and she’s waiting for her UBER and fires up a Black and Mild. After tonight she seems a little more ghetto to me. Before she lights the cig I grasp her.

I kiss her.

It seems automatic and not passionate at all. I knew she owed it to me. But it was just a firm wooden bump of our lips. I felt that immediately. Not like me and Cherie. Certainly not like me and Ambria. What happened to the touching at Dan Dan? Where’s the energy? Hmm?

She chinks out her cig because her UBER is coming. Apparently it’s a big Mercedes with a woman driver. We cross 17th street at Chestnut and head to the front of Ruby Tuesdays.

The car is there and before she gets in she kisses me. But it’s still feels wooden and perfunctory. I don’t like that. But maybe I’m over analyzing.

But I’m too old for that, and where there’s smoke there’s some twenty-something stuffing her head and pouring water over your fire, Sir.

Because before this dinner there were plenty of kisses emojis and they have completely dried up.

As the door slams you say, “Text me to let me know you got home safe.”

But she doesn’t hear it, and her belly is full of $90 of food and gifts.

I never get that respectful text.

That’s critical people.

Girls, you have to do that if a man sends you home on a date. Huge mistake if you just go home and don’t tell him you’re home safe. That’s all he wants. You didn’t sleep with him. He just treated you like a queen and bought you appetizers, dinner, dessert and a scarf an cigs. A “Got home safe” would be nice just for the sake of manners.

I did get a message from her the next morning saying she would be able to go to the movies with me New years Day. She even sends a pic of her wearing the scarf I gave her.

Cute.

I tell her I’ll send her a list of films and she can pick and I’ll put it in the calendar.

So let’s see what happens…

 

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