Sun Stories: Jill – From Jill to Jezebel

So we know our girl Jill is an alcoholic and can never drink again. She drank with Trish and went out of control. Not my problem, but became my problem when I had to work all of their shifts. They are both no longer with us at the salon.

Jill still frequents the salon and all is forgiven. As long as she pays, she’s back to being a client here. I’m glad she’s doing okay and staying sober. I don’t know what she’s like drunk and I don’t want to know. I’m sure it’s been hard for her working at a nail salon after being a stripper and an escort. Living in a halfway house for women with substance abuse problems and addiction can’t be a picnic. They have to sign in and sign out when they come and go. They’re all used to partying everyday so now they can’t and they’re all bored out of their minds. They have to attend AA and NA meetings everyday. They’re living with a bunch of alcoholics and junkies all at different levels of addiction and it’s got to be a brutal little prison for these ladies.

I had seen her earlier in the week and she came in with hot ex-heroin addict housemate, Sabrina who I’m planning on taking out on a second date for some sober fun. (See: Sabrina – 2017 to Present – The Challenge) I’m glad I had a chance to chat with Sabrina again because I’m trying to score some tickets to a show and take her to it. Jill tells me she’s stressed out at her job at her salon, and Sabrina is really stressed at her job as well. I have some fear for them both because stress causes people to re-offend.

It was a Saturday and I agreed to take the shift for Summer who had a family thing to attend. So technically I shouldn’t even been there. Jill comes in and tans just like she always does. It’s always nice to see her. She looks great. Tawny hair, red top, sheer in the front that showcases her ample cleavage, and skin-tight jeans.

When she finishes tanning it’s around 4pm. She tells me she’s going crazy and that she’s going to drink a half pint of vodka and just come back to the salon and chill out. I advise her against it. She tells me she’s going to think on it and may or may not stop back. She’s not angry, I can tell she just wants to feel the high and relax. She’s done it so long and become so destructive with her addiction that she has no coping mechanisms in place to ease her mind or occupy it now that she’s sober. Stress hits and she reaches for the bottle. Sadly for Jill there’s no alternative.

I say a little prayer for her and hope she just goes home or does anything other than that.

But Jill does come back to the salon around closing time. She seems fine. She’s just hanging out and chatting. Okay, everything’s fine. She’s sipping ice tea from a plastic bottle.

One of my beloved clients comes in and I’m happy to see her. Even though we’re about to close I don’t mind because this lady gave me a five-star review on Yelp. Yea, she can come in whenever she wants.

I’m chatting with her a little bit, joking that she came in late but because of the positive review I’m letting her step over the line. Jill hops into the conversation, which is fine. She and the client are chatting away like old friends.

I notice that Jill is more chatty and lively than usual. Is she drinking? Is there vodka in that iced tea bottle?

I send my client in to her session.  Jill suddenly wants to help me close up the salon. I tell her I’ve got everything well at hand. She’s very chatty and starts grabbing things to clean.

That’s the moment I smell the booze on her. I’m getting nervous. What is she going to do?

She can see that I’m on edge and tells me to relax. But I can’t help it. We all know what happened last time. Got black out drunk and kicked out of her halfway house. Thankfully, they let her back in. She says she’s just going to drink a half pint and then by the time she goes home she’ll be clean and no one will find out.

This lady is playing with fire. Phase one is her desire to drink overcoming her will to resist. Phase two is going to the liquor school and buying the half pint of vodka. Phase three is the over enthusiastic chatterbox. Phase four is the euphoria phase where she relaxes and leans into the soothing buzz. That’s where she is right now, and that’s where she should stay.

But they never stay on that level. The buzz levels off and they want that feeling again so what do they do? That’s right, they drink more and that’s when the trouble starts.

Against my stern warning about what will happen to her, off she goes to the liquor store again. She’s already polished off a half pint and I can see her starting to change. I hope she doesn’t come back. Based on her past drunken actions she shouldn’t be here in the salon like that.

My last client leaves and I close the door.

Sure enough Jill returns with another iced tea and I’m sure it already contains booze.  She goes into the fitness center inside our salon. There are big mirrors on the one wall and she’s primping and doing her makeup and listening to her music. I finish, close up the salon and punch out.

She asks me to join her in the gym. I sit down on one of the blocks we have in there. (I think you’re supposed to jump on them) She’s flipping her hair and taking selfies like a teenage girl.  She is clearly entering the next phase. She sits on my lap and forces me to listen to her music. Her demeanor has also changed, she is sounding more urban in her dialect and is starting to slur her words. (Think black stripper)

Jill is a hot lady and a former stripper and escort so she knows the moves. She starts giving me a lap dance. I am really nervous because I’ve never seen this side of her. I’ve only heard about it from other people and it’s like she’s become a different person.

She’s grinding her butt against my crotch. Then she’s kissing me, and the next thing I know my face is pressed between her breasts.

“I miss dancing so much!”

Here is this client and former employee giving me a lap dance in the tanning salon! I’m stunned, scared and aroused all in the same moment. I know it’s wrong but she has reverted back to a drunken slutty stripper that I know would let me fuck her right now.

But being the gentleman that I am, I make some excuse that I have to drop some papers off. I have had to make this excuse to her several times because she’s not listening to me. She is lost in her mind now. Just all over me, dancing and grinding on me.

As hot as she is right now, and as sexualized as she is, I’m resisting and really worried that this is the end for her. She’ll go do something crazy and get kicked out of her house and she’ll end up homeless. She keeps saying how we’re going to go across the street and we’re going to smoke cigars and drink whiskey at Ashton Cigar Bar. She’s out of control.

I keep telling her I have to go drop off the papers.  She ends up spilling the vodka/iced tea down the front of her. This happened when she was trying to drink it, so you can see how drunk she is now. It’s like I’m looking into the eyes of a completely different woman. She’s slurring, and staggering about. I finally get her to the door, and she drops the bottle on the floor. It was nearly empty and made of plastic. She’s pissed off and mad at me now because I didn’t have sex with her and take her out to destroy herself further.  Her last words to me were: “You couldn’t afford me anyway.” and off she went out the door. I am praying that she doesn’t fall down the steps, but am also relieved that she is off the property.

I’m pretty shaken by the incident, and wait a few minutes and mop up the floor. I dispose of all of the evidence in the dumpster out back and windex the mirrors she was leaning up against and touching while she was doing her sexy little dance for me. I give the place the once over and I think I’m good to go. I won’t mention this to anyone. But I will write about it here because the story must be told.

I lock up and head to the bar where I know my friend Prova works. (See: Prova – 2015 to Present – Glow of the Sun) Prova can see I am visibly shaken. I just tell her I’ve got some anxiety about opening the gym. She gives me a Manhattan and that settles the nerves. I just hope Jill is okay. But I’m scared for her well-being out there. She’s so lost in herself right now.

 

Epilogue

I get a text from Jill the next day around 1pm. “Sorry that I was acting crazy… That’s why I can’t drink.”

“No worries. Just glad you’re okay.”

She comes into the salon that week like nothing had happened. She tells me curfew is 12:45 on the weekends. So she did finally get back to her house around that time. She went straight to her room and fell asleep. So somehow she dodged a fatal bullet and no one knew she got blackout drunk. She calls the person she becomes drunk, Jezebel. Sounds fitting. I didn’t go into detail of what transpired between us because I didn’t want to embarrass her and I didn’t want her to remember any of it. She left me around 6pm Saturday and didn’t get home until 12:45. I asked her what she did for the six hours from when she left me.

“I have no idea.”

 

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 7 – Timing is Everything

My mind’s been reeling since the possibility of having dinner with the lovely Kita. I wrote a fantasy piece about her a week ago and now part of it is coming true. Should I start writing about the lottery?

I had an incredible Friday into Saturday with my girlfriend, Cherie.  It’s always magic and we are such a perfect match. I love her very much.  She’s a wonderful woman and I’ blessed to have her in my life.  The pleasure she bestows upon me are beyond words. It is euphoric but doesn’t own me like when I was with Annabelle.

But phicklephilly isn’t going to write itself.

The plan was made to have dinner with lovely Kita last week. I couldn’t believe I was able to pull it off. It hasn’t happened yet, and there are a myriad of things that could go wrong, but I’m an eternal optimist. I’m prepared for it to fall apart at any moment, but I am hopeful of the outcome.

I just want to sit across from this beauty and share a meal with her. That’s it. I love the idea of meeting new, pretty women and getting to know them. Cherie is my queen, but is sometimes absent for long periods of time.

I love the hunt. The thrust and parry of romancing women. That’s always been the inspiration for this blog. I’ve covered so many topics and times in my life but this is my favorite part. If my buddy Church knew I was doing this he would firmly disapprove, but fortune favors the bold and he would never understand what I’m doing. But Johnny R. and my pal Robert and James would.

I have compartmentalized my life. That’s what I tell my close friends. Sleeping dogs need to slumber and the cards must be kept close to the vest.

I made the dinner plans with Kita last Thursday and in classic phicklephilly fashion let the lure hit the bottom and cool off for few days. I can’t seem to eager. I can’t just leap onto the rocks and start chomping at this baby seal. I need to swim a bit and keep my dorsal fin hidden for a few days.

We always want that which retreats from us. 

I put Cherie on the train back to Pottstown today after our magical session. I had planned on running some errands today, but the store was closed and it was all a bust. I don’t care. I can pick up that stuff next week. I stopped at the salon to see Summer and go tanning.

Her boyfriend Jax was there chilling and I’m always happy to see them both. The crazy young couple has soldiered forth with their relationship.

I go into the stand up unit in room 4. It has an input for an audio cord so you can plug-in your phone and rock out to your own tunes. Of course I do this and listen to Joan Jett sing “Do you want to touch?”, “Highway Tune” by Greta Van Fleet (Amazing!) and “To the Top” by Krokus. (From the glorious album, ‘ One Vice at a Time.’)

I hang  bit more and then decide to get some food. I was thinking MacDonald’s, then Giovanni’s Pizza. I settled on the latter and walk in and order a slice and a small drink.

This guy I used to work with approaches me and says: “I got his meal.”

I’m grateful and we chat. The crazy irony of this is that I have been taking meetings with him in the last few weeks and he wants me to sell a new phone app that his company has been developing. He had just texted and called me an hour ago to tell me that they were ready to go forward with me.

I’m stunned. What kind of serendipity shit is this?

The guy that wants me to work for his company and wants to finalize the deal next week, is in the pizza bar I decide to go to for a quick bite instead of MacDonald’s. I just want a little food before I go crush three Chardonnays over at one of my favorite bars with my friend Prova.

The guy is hanging at the bar with his dad drinking a beer. I can’t make this stuff up! We sure up some dates this week and agree to meet again. I rip into my free slice and soda. The only thing better than free pizza is free drinks.

Later I go hang at Prova’s bar for a few and when the places gets crowded, I bail. No discount which kind of irks me. I did go on a run to Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee and pastries for her and the other bartender. But I really don’t care, because things are good and I’m happy to see these girls.

I sometimes like traveling solo to bars where I know the staff. I get all of the attention and I’m not responsible for anyone else’s happiness but my own. That’s not selfish. That’s just me being a Leo.

I pay the bill and head back to the batcave in Rittenhouse.  I know when I get there I have a few things to do. I have to write-up the calendar invite for dinner to Kita. I have to also push my contact info to her. I have to do this today.

I let the moment cool. I waited a few days and now the dorsal fin has to surface for a moment. My father used to say, “Timing is everything.” My dad was great at absorbing original things that other people have said and making it his own. But he did take from the greats and I use his stuff in my own life. Creativity is what springs from the greatest minds but we need good recorders to carry the info of others and present it to the masses. He was good at that.

He had a great mind, but struggled with himself as we all do. But I have learned much from that mighty Jedi.

He may be dead but his spirit and words and ideals live strong in me today. I’ve passed them on to my daughter Lorelei. That keeps him alive in us all.

I pour a glass of chardonnay and light a cigarette.

The calendar invite has to be perfect. There are no second chances or missteps allowed with this rare bird.

Kita knows I’m going to do this but I like that she has no idea when it will all happen.

I hope it doesn’t fizzle the moment I send it.

I have to believe in my powers and my fatal charm is firmly in place. The groundwork has been laid and all I need to do now is follow through with my plan.

But at this point of my life I’m prepared for disappointment and failure. I’ve had enough of that so I’m good with whatever the outcome.

I prepare the invite. Make sure it’s perfect and it’s ready to go.

I put on some heavy metal music. The Haunted comes to mind. I don’t know why. Probably because they crank out some furious shit  that could go any way depending on the outcome of this Saturday send to Kita.

I take a sip of wine and a pull from my cig. I go with sharing my contact info on my phone first. I make sure it’s correct and hit send.

Off we go…

Then I send the calendar invite for our dinner date at Gran Caffee L’ Aquila.

Liftoff.

It’s done. Fingers crossed.

Now we wait… (The worst part, but I’m prepared for the inevitable.}

I go back to making out with my wine and cigarette. I never smoke or drink around Cherie. She’s not much of a drinker and I would never smoke around her because that shit is disgusting to a non smoker. Respect.

I start writing about our little foray last night and this morning. It was glorious and as always really good. Sex and peace for my baby girl.

It was a spectacular fourteen hours with my love so there is much to write in my ongoing love letter to her.

But then my phone pings.

“Charles!!!!”

I respond accordingly; “Kita!!!!”

“Are you in tomorrow???”

I love her urgency. I pray she’s sitting home alone studying on a Saturday night.

“11 to 4!” (Sun emoji,  because it’s a tanning salon)

“Okay! I’ll see you!”

“Great! See you tomorrow”

“(Smiley emoji with the little hands up)

That’s adorable and affectionate. I’m smitten. I am going to be trembling when she comes in tomorrow. It should be dead tomorrow so I’m hoping that she can hang out and chat.

I love Kita… phicklephilly style.

Can’t wait to see her tomorrow. So far the plan is working.

Please pray for me she makes it to dinner next week.

 

 

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Chapter 11 – San Diego, CA – Ocean Beach

I woke up early. The sun was up but it was early. Frank was still asleep in the back of the van. I felt the chill of the morning as I slowly drove out of the desert and back up to highway 10.

Final day on the road.

Frank soon awakened and was up front with me. Once on the road we stopped and had breakfast at a roadside diner. Their all the same wherever you go in America. Nice little warm spots that always have quick service, friendly waitresses and fresh food. I like consistency in my life. It helps me cope with my anxiety.

We finish and hit the road again. It’s a long drive across Southern California. Highway 8 is close to the Mexican border. There’s not much out there. Drove through a few Indian Reservations. Highway 8 heads a bit north and continues right into San Diego. We should hit it by dusk.

I think about the trip leading us out here into the unknown. I’m 3000 miles from home. There’s no going back now. I’m happy to be on this adventure with Frank and we both still have plenty of money, so we’re in good shape financially. I brought $1000 in Traveler’s Checks and left $1000 home in my bank account in case of emergency. (Travelers Checks! Google it. It’s what we used instead of carrying cash when we traveled back in the days when there was no such thing as debit cards.)

No cell phones. No internet. Just letters, postcards, a landline phones to communicate with out loved ones. And folded paper maps to guide us on our journey. Primitive by today’s standards but that’s how we rolled back then.

As we get into San Diego’s city limits it starts to feel like California. Palm trees, taco spots large Latina population. This doesn’t look like any city I’ve ever been to.

San Diego (/ˌsæn diˈeɪɡoʊ/, Spanish for “Saint Didacus”; Spanish: [san ˈdjeɣo]) is a major city in California, United States. It is in San Diego County, on the coast of the Pacific Ocean in Southern California, approximately 120 miles (190 km) south of Los Angeles and immediately adjacent to the border with Mexico.

With an estimated population of 1,406,630 as of July 1, 2016,[9] San Diego is the eighth-largest city in the United States and second-largest in California. It is part of the San Diego–Tijuana conurbation, the second-largest transborder agglomeration between the US and a bordering country after Detroit–Windsor, with a population of 4,922,723 people.[12] The city is known for its mild year-round climate, natural deep-water harbor, extensive beaches, long association with the United States Navy, and recent emergence as a healthcare and biotechnology development center.

San Diego has been called “the birthplace of California”.[13] Historically home to the Kumeyaay people, it was the first site visited by Europeans on what is now the West Coast of the United States. Upon landing in San Diego Bay in 1542, Juan Rodríguez Cabrillo claimed the area for Spain, forming the basis for the settlement of Alta California 200 years later. The Presidio and Mission San Diego de Alcalá, founded in 1769, formed the first European settlement in what is now California. In 1821, San Diego became part of the newly independent Mexico, which reformed as the First Mexican Republic two years later. In 1850, California became part of the United States following the Mexican–American War and the admission of California to the union.

The city is the seat of San Diego County and is the economic center of the region as well as the San Diego–Tijuana metropolitan area. San Diego’s main economic engines are military and defense-related activities, tourism, international trade, and manufacturing. The presence of the University of California, San Diego (UCSD), with the affiliated UCSD Medical Center, has helped make the area a center of research in biotechnology.

We head down to Ocean Beach and get a motel room. We plan on staying for awhile and seeing the sights and figuring out the job situation.

But we’re going to the San Diego Zoo this week because I heard it was awesome!

We finally made it! What a trip!

 

 

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Tales of Rock – The Theory of the 13-year Rock vs. Pop cycle – 1964 to 1975 – Part 2

Cycle 2

The second cycle began with the appearance of the Beatles. Even though they were originally rejected by Decca Records (“Guitar bands are on their way out! They have no future in show business!”) the Beatles eventually landed with EMI and — well, you know the rest.

They arrived just as the earliest of the Baby Boomers began entering their teens. These kids had their portable turntables and transistor radios, devices that allowed them to take their music away from the prying ears of parents. And psychologically, rock provided an escape from the funk that had fallen across the West following the JFK assassination in November 1963.

The Beatles had a fresh sound, were quick with a quip and were made up of four distinct characters with whom fans could identify. (Interestingly, you can make the case that the Beatles were the first boy band. What’s the difference between the reaction of Bieberites and what we saw with Beatlemania?)

Cycle 2 really kicked into gear with that Beatles’ appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show on Feb. 9, 1964, about three weeks shy of the 13th anniversary of the release of “Rocket 88.”

The Ed Sullivan Show First Appearance of The Beatles in video on Jukebox[4]from Zip Code on Vimeo.

To say that the Beatles rescued rock is an understatement. The years that followed their landing on American shores was one of the most vibrant times in music, a veritable gusher of guitar-based creativity that lasted for the rest of the decade. If you have to pick a moment when it peaked, I’d go with the Woodstock Festival in August 1969. But then came Altamont later that year with its bad vibes, corruption, and death. Almost overnight, the life drained away from the rock scene.

Creatively spent and disillusioned by the failure of the peace’n’love movement — not to mention America’s ass-kicking in Vietnam, Watergate, the oil crisis, the Cold War and a brutal recession — the mainstream turned away from rock toward pop music.

The Baby Boomers, who had driven rock through the 1960s, grew up and moved on. Instead of driving rock further forward, they settled into a period of nostalgia for the good ol’ days of the 1950s and the early 1960s. This was manifested in the rise of bands like Sha Na Na, movies like American Graffitiand TV shows like Happy Days. Even Elton John, a star in his prime, couldn’t help but get all misty-eyed for the old days.

Meanwhile, the aging hippy generation had a very hard time believing that the generation following them could be sucked in by simplistic pop made by the Bay City Rollers, Bobby Sherman and the Partridge Family. Of course, the Stones and Zeppelin were at their peak, but they were the exception. And we need to remember that critics absolutely loathed Zeppelin back then.

AM radio was at its absolute worst. Can you believe a song like this could be a #1 hit?

 

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Sabrina – Hopeful

Poor girls and their substance abuse.

So the dust has settled and Jill is back tanning her ass at the salon and all is forgiven. She shows up with hot Sabrina the other night and I totally want to date her. I’ve actually been texting her that we should go out and do some sober fun things.

I figured it would be good for the blog. Drunk dude takes drinkie girl out for sober date and ice cream.

I have been talking to this old guy that comes in and tans and he works at the Walnut Street Theater. He wants to get me tickets because I helped him with a problem he had with his new phone and I’m the only one that listens to him complain. (He’s said this to me!)

He has access to tickets to shows at the theater and I want to take Jill’s hot friend Sabrina to them.

Thing is, Sabrina lives in a halfway house with Jill and is an addict like her. I talk to Sabrina and Jill clears the way with the coolness factor. But all drug addicts are liars and so is Sabrina. It’s ok. She says that her last boyfriend got her into drinking and it just took her like Jill. I get that. It’s okay. It happens, you have the gene and that shit takes you. I’ve met dozens of addicts.

But one day Jill is tanning and she tells me that with Sabrina her thing is heroin. Holy fuck. She’s super hot. She doesn’t look like a former junkie.

What do I do?

I go out with her. She’s been clean for over seven months. So could she have a drink or will the high of alcohol make her want to go up to Kensington and score some smack? I need to find this out before I go out with her. Maybe I’ll just stick to a show and some ice cream.

I’ll write more when and if the date happens.

 

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Kimiko – Chapter 6 – Patterns in the Ivy

I really enjoyed my date with Kimiko. She’s beautiful and smart and I want her. But alas I’ve worked 53 days in a row and have had zero time for anyone in my life this summer. But life is still beautiful in our fair city and I’ll make my way.

I’ve been in touch with Kimiko and she’s been patient and responsive. But everyone’s patience runs out and I think I’ve lost her because of the salon and my crazy hours.

She doesn’t like coming to the city and it’s just been too long. I could feel her fading and now it’s happened.

I feel a twinge of resentment to the salon but there are bigger fish to fry and if it’s not to be then so be it. I don’t know if that makes sense, but if the schedules don’t line up and baby’s in Jersey it just won’t work.

I text her last week and she was responsive. She was away visiting friends so I still had a hook in her. But a week or so later I tried again and got no response. I waited another day and tried again. But all I heard was crickets.

So I think this chance at some fun love is dead. But what am I? I’m in a loving relationship with Cherie for over a year now and I’m still making dates with women because I hardly ever see Cherie.

I love Cherie and she’s my girl but this blog isn’t going to write itself. I slept with Ambria but that was basically a one night stand. I really liked Kimiko and could feel it in our kiss. But work, distance, and schedules have destroyed this flower before it could bloom.

I guess I just have to let this one go. I liked her. I wish we could have done stuff together. Just movies and drinks would have been fun, but if it didn’t happen than I suppose it’s not meant to be.

Death by absence. I hope she met a nice guy who’s treating her like a lady.

 

 

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Chapter 9 – El Paso & Las Cruces

We pulled into El Paso, Texas at dusk. It’s right on the Mexican border. The Rio Grande river is right there. The part of town we were in looked and felt like we weren’t in America anymore. It looked like Mexico. The food was Mexican, and all of the songs on the jukebox were in Spanish.

El Paso (/ɛl ˈpæs/ el PASS-oh; from Spanish, “the pass”) is a city in and the seat of El Paso County, Texas, United States. It is situated in the far western corner of the U.S. state of Texas.

El Paso stands on the Rio Grande river across the Mexico–United States border from Ciudad Juárez, the largest city in the Mexican state of Chihuahua. The two cities, along with Las Cruces in the neighboring U.S. state of New Mexico, form a combined international metropolitan area sometimes referred to as the Paso del Norte or El Paso–Juárez–Las Cruces. The region of over 2.7 million people constitutes the largest bilingual and binational work force in the Western Hemisphere.[6][7]

The city is the headquarters of Western Refining, a Fortune 500 company, and three publicly traded companies,[8] as well as home to the Medical Center of the Americas,[9] the only medical research and care provider complex in West Texas and southern New Mexico,[10] and the University of Texas at El Paso, the city’s primary university. The city hosts the annual Sun Bowl college football post-season game, the second oldest bowl game in the country.[11]

El Paso has a strong federal and military presence. William Beaumont Army Medical CenterBiggs Army Airfield, and Fort Bliss call the city home. Fort Bliss is one of the largest military complexes of the United States Army and the largest training area in the United States.[12] Also headquartered in El Paso are the DEA domestic field division 7El Paso Intelligence CenterJoint Task Force NorthU.S. Border Patrol El Paso Sector, and U.S. Border Patrol Special Operations Group (SOG).

In 2010, El Paso received an All-America City Award. El Paso has been ranked the safest large city in the U.S. for four consecutive years[13] and has ranked in the top three since 1997.[14] As of July 1, 2016, the population estimate for the city from the U.S. Census was 683,080.[3] Its U.S. metropolitan area covers all of El Paso and Hudspeth counties in Texas, and has a population of 841,971.[3] The El Paso metropolitan area forms part of the larger El Paso–Las Cruces CSA, with a population of 1,056,178.[3]

It was alien and cool for both of us but we always appreciated cities that looked different than the rest of America.

We had a beer in this border town but pushed on to Las Cruces New Mexico which was so close just on the eastern edge of New Mexico. We stay there without incident.

As I write this memoir I think about what Frank and I did on the trip. When we were in Georgia his Uncle took us to the greatest strip joint on Earth and I saw things I;d never seen before.

Funny thing is, looking back on this journey, Frank and I saw some vice in New Orleans but nothing major. You would think that two boys, 19 and 21 would have terrorized the countryside as we made our way across the country. We did nothing of the kind.

We drove the van all day on the way to our destination and loved the sites we saw along the way. But never did we stop and find the vice and dark fun in any of the towns we visited. We simply crashed, drank beer and watched TV in the hotel rooms we stayed in. We could have strayed and gotten into it with the locals, but maybe with him being an immigrant and me and my anxiety we just wanted to get where we were going.

It was an unspoken goal. Frank wanted to go on an adventure with someone he trusted and eventually his friends would follow. We’d have a band in LA and see what happened. He ultimately wanted to become a barrister in London. I wanted to be a rock star meta god and that was it. So here we were.

We’ll see what happens. He’s a helluva bass player so we’ll make it happen somehow. I’ve been uprooted from my life by my father’s design but I am out from under him.

Who takes their son out of high school before senior year? Oh I don’t know… a selfish self-centered cunt? (Frank’s words not mine, but mine with out a voice.) Once Janice was in Franklin and Marshall my dad was like fuck the rest of the kids in this family I’m moving them to the shore. I’ve exhausted all of my mistresses and some of them are pregnant. We here at the Provident National Bank are buried in bad loans and I need to go. I’ve painted myself into a corner and the love of my life Eileen is gone.

I will cling to Helen and the kids and dump my father’s inheritance into a gigantic over improved shore house a block from the beach in Wildwood NJ.

I think these thoughts as the 1969 Volkswagen mini bus carries my buddy and I from Belfast Northern Ireland across the desert on highway 10 into New Mexico.

I am away from my father. I love him but why? He has taught me everything I know. He taught me how to read, ride a bike, science, life, sex, people, women, everything. Why am I struggling?  Because he was so HARD on me.

Why did he have to say those things to me? Those words. Why was he so insecure? Why did he hit me? I can’t leave you dad or hit you back. I can’t fight a bully because you’re the best at that.

You were bullied as a boy. Why would you bully, hurt and scare me? What’s wrong with you?

You’re so nice. You’re a good father to my sisters but mom has a different story.  She’s your ultimate victim. Why dad? She’s been a victim her whole life. You describe her as this Japanese servant, That is some disrespectful shit Horace.

She suffered at the end of your tongue night after night. I heard you hurting with your words while she was raising your 4 kids while your tongue pleasures your mistress Eileen.

Fuck you.

A man’s word is everything. If you don’t have your word you’re nothing. You fucking liar.

My sweet sisters don’t know you. You told me everything you are when you were old. You told me the truth because you lied about so many things.

You’ve never had an original thought in your life. You love your wife because that poor woman put up with your crazy shit, you love your books because that’s where you stole all of the information you had in your head to get what you want, and you love your kids.

I believe that. You did love us dad. I know you did. As fucked up as you were. I know you loved us all so much. But I’m finally out from under your rule for good.

The 69 VW minibus rolls forward on highway 10. further than she’s ever been from the beaches of North Wildwood.

This family vehicle that was acquired in 1970 could never have imagined she would be making runs back and forth to Frankford high in Philly, and then becoming my vessel in Wildwood for fun and frivolity, But now here she is in New Mexico carrying the misfit son of the family to California to be a musician.

Frank hands me a Harp and I swig that sweet cold baby back. We’re going to California to be rock stars.

Las Cruces was nice and quiet and we’re nearly finished with our journey across America.

Las Cruces, also known as “The City of the Crosses”, is the seat of Doña Ana County, New Mexico, United States. As of the 2010 census the population was 97,618,[2] and in 2015 the estimated population was 101,643,[4] making it the second largest city in the state, after Albuquerque. Las Cruces is the largest city in both Doña Ana County and southern New Mexico.[5] The Las Cruces metropolitan area had an estimated population of 213,676 in 2014.[6] It is the principal city of a metropolitan statistical area which encompasses all of Doña Ana County and is part of the larger El Paso–Las Cruces combined statistical area.

Las Cruces is the economic and geographic center of the Mesilla Valley, the agricultural region on the floodplain of the Rio Grande which extends from Hatchto the west side of El Paso, Texas. Las Cruces is the home of New Mexico State University (NMSU), New Mexico’s only land-grant university. The city’s major employer is the federal government on nearby White Sands Test Facility and White Sands Missile Range. The Organ Mountains, 10 miles (16 km) to the east, are dominant in the city’s landscape, along with the Doña Ana MountainsRobledo Mountains, and Picacho Peak. Las Cruces lies 225 miles (362 km) south of Albuquerque, 48 miles (77 km) northwest of El Paso, Texas and 46 miles (74 km) north of the Mexican border at Santa Teresa.

Spaceport America, which lies 55 miles (89 km) to the north and with corporate offices in Las Cruces, has seen the completion of several successful manned, suborbital flights. The city is also the headquarters for Virgin Galactic, the world’s first company to offer sub-orbital spaceflights.[7]

Next stop… Arizona!

 

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