50-Year-Old Man Reveals The Struggles Of Being A ‘Sugar Daddy’

Whether you’re on your third failed marriage or you simply never got around to tying the knot, you may find your 50s a romantic rut. Too old for Tinder, too young to forget about dating. All your mates happily (and boringly) hitched.

All hope is not lost, however. We live in a modern world. Anything is possible. You just have to pitch yourself to the right agency. As one man recently revealed to Refinery 29 on Medium, you can have a lot of fun trying. But, as he also pointed out, it’s a lot more challenging than you’d think – especially when the perception is that the one with the money has all the power – which, he claims, is not always the case.

New York-based founder and CEO of a global software company, the man, who chose to remain anonymous, told Refinery 29 journalist Jessica Chou even though his net worth was north of $50 million, it’s been hard to get into conventional dating since his divorce 3.5 years ago because he travels a lot.

“I’m 50 years old but I probably look 38. I have the mentality of someone in their 20s because I just love to have fun. I jump out of planes, you know? I’m just one of those guys.”

He also couldn’t get into conventional dating because: “My schedule just prohibited it. When I dated conventionally, it always followed the same pattern: Meet a girl, get to know them, they like the vibe. Then I start my crazy travel schedule and there’s an awful lot of stress and texting. When are you coming back? Where are you?”

“So I thought okay, what if I financially support someone and when I’m here, I have the company of someone I enjoy. It seemed like the perfect solution,” he told Refinery 29.

Another attraction, he says, was he “thought it was the only way to meet women who have not been tainted by life,” explaining, “I just found that as women and men age, they get more tainted by their experiences. They create within themselves a negative bias as a standard operating procedure.”

“I went on many dates with women in their 40s, and what I found consistent between all of them was they were immediately looking to find out how I was going to hurt them, even from date one.”

So he decided to try and date younger women, recounting his experiences – and struggles – with three of them to Refinery 29. Here’s his experience with each one.

The Upfront One

“The first woman was the upfront woman,” Anonymous Daddy told Refinery 29. “I met her for a drink and she was very open about the fact that as long as there was some chemistry, she would meet with me and sleep with me for money. Unfortunately, that’s not really who I am. I need more of an emotional connection with someone, even though it might sound weird in that environment.”

The Girl Next Door

“The next woman was someone I would call a ‘girl next door.’ She probably shouldn’t be on the website, and she wants an emotional connection, but she needs financial assistance. So I dated her for four to five months,” Anonymous Daddy said. “After two months she said, I don’t want money anymore, I just really enjoy getting to know you. It really told me she wasn’t looking for a long-term monetary benefit, and that you can have a real chemistry-laden relationship with someone.”

Great, right? Wrong. Or at least – it didn’t last. Why? Over the next two months, the age difference was slammed in our face. I remember I went out to brunch with her and her friends, and someone was whispering, you know, ‘Whose dad is that?’ It didn’t really impact me, but I saw the look on her face. When we talked about it later, she said she wasn’t necessarily prepared for that. So we decided to remain friends.”

The Mercenary

“The third woman I call the ‘mercenary,’ and she was the most dangerous person I think I ever met,” Anonymous Daddy said. “She scared the shit out of me. She would say anything to make you think she loved you. She lied about not having a boyfriend, not living with him, got all the money, gifts, trips, and plane tickets, and when her boyfriend finally threw her out, she came crawling to me.”

“She ended up moving in with me for a while, and then I got set her up in an apartment. Once, I got really ill, and I told her what was going on, and I said, hey, look we need to have a real relationship, or this isn’t going to work. And to this day, I haven’t heard back.”

The man then added, “I spent $200,000 while dating on the site, and about 90 percent of that was on the third woman. I bought her a lot of jewelry. I’d buy her a ring, she would lose the ring or say it got stolen, and I’d buy her another ring to replace the ring. Then her rent, it was $3,500, $3,600 (£2,700-£2,800), plus a security deposit. I know. It was sort of like, hey dude, what are you doing?”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Is Spending Too Much Time Together In A Relationship A Bad Sign? Experts Say Maybe

When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to lose track of the time you spend with your partner. Whether you’re spending the night at their place all the time, or taking way too many work-from-home days to spend hours in bed with them, it can feel like time doesn’t even exist anymore. So, in this couples’ vortex, is there such a thing as spending too much time together in a relationship? Honestly, it’s confusing, but according to experts, spending some time apart might help you find your answer.

The thing is, relationships are exciting and fun, and there’s nothing wrong with spending ample amounts of time with your significant other as you continue to get to know each other. But there is a line between spending time together and spending all your time together. In order to understand where that line is, it’s important to understand that every couple is different. “First, it’s important to note that ‘too much time’ can look different from relationship to relationship,” Kali Rogers, CEO, and founder of Blush Online Life Coaching, tells Elite Daily. “Some people are simply more extroverted than others, some become codependent too quickly, and others simply don’t know how to create appropriate boundaries. So while in one relationship, seeing each other every day is typical and just fine, in others that would be way too much too soon.”

However, it is totally possible for a couple to be spending too much time together, even though it might not seem like it at first. “If two partners have adequate boundaries, resilience, and interdependence — then too much time probably doesn’t exist,” Rogers says. “There are plenty of couples who work together, live together, and have a family together — and arbitrarily saying that dynamic is unhealthy is short-sighted. The key to determining if too much time is a bad sign is to measure the number of time couples spend arguing together, and how they feel once they do get some separation. If couples feel lost, unstable, or depressed when apart, that’s a sign of codependency.”

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So really, the best way to determine if you are spending too much time together is to spend some time apart. Can you handle it? If so, you’re probably good, as Rogers says. If not, it might be time to address the issue.

Unfortunately, if you and your partner are codependent, it can present a whole different set of issues. “The reason that time can sometimes contribute to the toxicity of a relationship typically stems from codependency,” she explains. “Instead of tapping into one’s own resilience to combat daily problems, they lean too heavily on someone else for support or solutions. This creates excess strain on the relationship, and a toxic cycle can develop quickly. People become the worst version of themselves and don’t have enough separation in order to gain perspective.”

A codependent relationship is probably not one you want to be in. Psychologist Erika Martinez told Elite Daily that in codependent relationships, “the dependent relies on the codependent to take care of, support, fix, and generally enable him or her. In some cases, the dependent really can’t take care of themselves, and in others, it’s a state of learned helplessness,” she explained. “The codependent does the enabling and grows accustomed to being the one that people (including the dependent) turn to for help. Thus, codependent’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem are often tied to their ability to fix things, be proactive, help others, people-please, etc.”

If this is where you see your relationship headed, consider seeking outside help. Martinez suggested researching “CoDependents Anonymous (CoDA) support groups that meet regularly and many people find helpful.” She also suggested going to therapy, on your own or as a couple, to “[help] to change these interpersonal dynamics for the better.”

On the other hand, if your relationship shows no signs of codependency, and you’re still worried you’re spending too much time together, Rogers advises you quit worrying! “Try not to compare time in your relationship to time on others’ relationships,” she says. “People are wired differently, and time spent together should not be the only marker of progress.” Rather than look at how much time you spend with your partner, try reflecting on how your partner makes you feel. “How do you feel when you are apart? Are you a better person in this relationship? Focus on those questions instead of the number of minutes you two are together, and I believe you will have clearer answers about the state of your relationship.”

There is no one perfect relationship formula, but there is such a thing as spending too much time with your partner when it leads to an unhealthy relationship in the long run. Reflect on the time spent with your partner, how you feel without them, and go from there. You deserve a happy and healthy relationship, regardless of how much time you spend together.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Woman Gives Her Number To A Guy On Tinder, Gets Pleasantly Surprised When He Starts Sending Her Photos Of His Rocks

Swiping through Tinder is like playing roulette. You never know who the person you matched with really is. They can turn out to be a creep, sending you unsolicited pics of their genitals, or worse…you might run into someone who doesn’t like animals.

So, when Tumblr user softandanxious gave her number to one guy off Tinder, she knew she was gambling. But luck was on her side, and softandanxious learned that she ran into a rock enthusiast. And not just a passionate fellow who mentions his hobby here and there. No no. The guy won’t stop sending her pictures of his collection. However, the girl isn’t mad. On the contrary, she thinks it’s the best thing that has ever come out of the app. And when you read their conversation and see the genuine enthusiasm the dude has, you’ll probably come to the same conclusion as well.

Image credits: softandanxious

And if you think that softandanxious has low expectations for Tinder, she isn’t the only app user who has lost hope in it. According to one study, about 21% of female matches send a message, whereas only 7% of male matches send a message. Thus, if you connect with someone, chances are you won’t even have a chat with them. “It, therefore, seems that, rather than pre-filtering their mates via the like feature, many male users like in a relatively non-selective way and post-filter after a match has been obtained. This gaming of the system undermines its operation and likely leads to much frustration,” the researchers wrote.

So let’s congratulate softandanxious. In a world of digital dating disappointment, she struck gold. Errr, I mean rock.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Does Your Ex Still Think About You? How To Find Out — And Reconnect After A Breakup

Do they still care about you?

After a breakup, it seems like you and your ex have already gone your separate ways.

Or, maybe your ex never even knew you to begin with.

So, you can’t help but wonder if, on the other side of this icy wall of silence, does your ex ever even think about you at all?

Cutting straight to the chase, yes, your ex most likely still thinks about you.

If you’ve shared a part of your life with someone, they aren’t going to completely forget that you ever existed.

They will think back to your time together and may even remember all the positive experiences that the two of you have had.

Yes, there may be pain and hurt associated with all of that, but they certainly do still think of you.

But, do they still care or even love you?

I know that you’re probably not just wondering if your ex happens to have thoughts about you — you want to know if they still feel something for you.

Do they miss you the way that you miss them?

The truth is that, yes, if they are being honest, they probably do still feel some emotions toward you.

They may even regret that the breakup happened that ended your relationship.

And they may feel a lot of hurt and heartbreak, still.

But they probably also know, if they are being honest with themselves, that there were positive moments that the two of you shared together — and they probably miss those times.

In fact, they are hiding the pain behind an emotional armor.

Granted, they may not let their mind veer in those directions. They may be so addicted to the story that they tell themselves about the hurt that they experienced that they just don’t let themselves acknowledge that pain.

But, you can rest assured that your ex does have feelings for you.

They may just be hidden behind pain, hurt, frustration, anger, or any other emotions that may still be lingering from the breakup.

How do you get through their emotional armor, then?

If you want to know how to get your ex back and connect again so you can explore what might be possible for the two of you, you are going to need to meet them where they are at, emotionally.

Yes, the two of you have your history.

And yes, there may be hurt and pain that is still lingering there.

But, just because there was love once doesn’t mean they want to get back together. You also have to see things from their point of view and be willing to relate to them with understanding and compassion.

Once they are able to see that you are willing to meet them where they are at emotionally, they’ll be much more likely to release the pain and hurt that they are holding on to.

And once they are able to do this, they’ll be receptive to talking to you again.

It starts by connecting on an emotional level.

You need to get past the complex feelings that both of you are probably experiencing.

And, of course, they may not be in a place in their life where they are able or willing to explore what might be possible between the two of you.

But you’ll never know for certain unless you’re willing to set aside pride and be emotionally honest and vulnerable.

Here’s an important piece of dating advice you need to heed if you want your ex back.

When you break up with someone, it doesn’t always mean you’re done for good.

Instead, take a chance and open yourself up to resolving the pain from the past.

You just never know what you might experience as a result.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Tales of Rock – 35 High School Yearbook Photos of Rock Stars

They were once regular high school kids, right? Some of them didn’t even look that cool dude with a rock star potential. Some though still managed to look cool like Dimebag Darrell Lance Abbott or Wes Borland. The others? Not so much.

We rounded up a gaggle of funny photos of famous heavy metal, hard and alternative rock stars before they became music legends. The result is this most fascinating list that confirms what we already knew: any uncool-looking kid can become a rock star someday.

Check them out and enjoy!

1. Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)

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2. Axl Rose (Guns N’ Roses)

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3. Kurt Cobain (Nirvana)

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4. Marilyn Manson

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5. James Hetfield (Metallica)

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6. Jon Bon Jovi

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7. Kid Rock

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8. Kirk Hammet (Metallica)

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9. Alice Cooper

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10. Tommy Lee (Mötley Crüe)

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11. Slash (Guns N’ Roses)

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12. Izzy Stradlin (Guns N’ Roses)

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13. Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails)

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14. Zakk Wylde (Black Label Society)

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15. Zack de la Rocha (Rage Against the Machine)

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16. Wes Borland (Limp Bizkit)

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17. Vince Neill (Mötley Crüe)

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18. Glenn Danzig (Misfits)

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19. Mike Patton (Faith No More)

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20. Chester Bennington (Linkin Park)

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21. Dave Mustaine (Megadeth)

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22. Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots)

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23. Tom Morello (Rage Against the Machine)

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24. Paul Stanley (Kiss)

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25. Fred Durst (Limp Bizkit)

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26. Corey Taylor (Slipknot)

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27. Ronnie James Dio (Black Sabbath)

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28. Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins)

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29. Dimebag Darrell Lance Abbott (Pantera)

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30. Randy Rhoads (Quiet Riot)

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31. Jonathan Davis (Korn)

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32. Eddie Van Halen

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33. Les Claypool (Primus)

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34. Daron Malakian (System of a Down)

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35. Gene Simmons (Kiss)

Wanna be a better guitarist? Click this link to learn the secret!

https://beginnerguitarhq.com/guitar-exercises/

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Why Sexual Rejection in Relationships Is Not a Joke

We all have a particular picture in our heads of what kind of relationship we want to have with a romantic partner. We imagine that we enjoy the same kinds of activities so we can have lots of fun together or set similar goals for our lives so we can support each other in achieving them. Whatever your criteria, there is one thing almost all of us value and want: a good sex life. And yet, it is the main cause of relationship conflict and breakdown.

In the early stages of a relationship, both partners are usually excited by the newness of the other person and the experiences they have together. Desire is effortlessly present and sex comes naturally. It is something that is welcomed, valued, and prioritized.

Many couples find that by the end of their first year together their sex life looks dramatically different from how it did when they first got together. This is in itself not an issue if it is not an issue for either of the partners.

Unfortunately, though, it often is for one of them: the one who craves more physical and sexual closeness and intimacy. This role is stereotypically reserved for the male partner in a heterosexual relationship.

There are thousands of jokes about the stereotypical scenario in which the man begs for sex from his female partner who feels too tired or too ill to engage in sex with him. The jokes always end with him being rejected. But nothing tells us about how he feels.

Does he just accept it, roll over and sleep? Does he see it as rejection and consequently feels angry or sad? Does he build up resentment for being told no one more than one occasion? Does he stay quiet because he knows he isn’t entitled to sex and can’t just demand it?

Or does he feel ashamed of his desire to be physically intimate with his partner? Does he feel that he shouldn’t feel the way he’s feeling? That he has no right to be disappointed or frustrated? That he shouldn’t want what he wants?

Or does he blame his partner and see her as the source of his distress? Does he try to punish her for taking his desires outside the relationship or resorting to porn? Does he feel like he has no other choice?

Does he wonder if he will ever get the love and relationship he craves? Is this his attempt to create closeness and connection but has been told that it is somehow a more basic and primitive way of connecting? Does he think about leaving and looking for someone else who desires him as much as he desires her?

Does he fear that he will never have the experiences with his partner that he wants to have? Does he fear that he is wasted on her? That they are just too incompatible to have a well-rounded, mutually satisfying and fulfilling relationship?

Does he fear that what he wants he simply cannot have with his partner?

We don’t know what goes on for any individual – it might be one of those things, all of those, or maybe even none of them. Maybe it’s something completely different. But it is, without any doubt whatsoever, the time we stop making jokes about being sexually rejected.

It is time we stop shaming and ridiculing human desires – whether they are sexual or not.

Desiring someone is not shameful. Having sexual feelings for someone is not shameful. It is not primitive either. It is human nature.

We live in an era of emotional vulnerability in which we are attempting to destigmatize our struggles with our insecurities and emotions and yet we still minimize a man’s feelings about being sexually rejected and frustrated within his mutually agreed upon relationship.

Most male clients who struggle with this suffer in silence. They don’t know how to solve this problem and how to approach their partner. They are considerate men who don’t want to be labeled as selfish or perverted. They are healthy adult men who want to express themselves emotionally and sexually within their relationship.

They are understanding towards their partners and do not want to burden them but they cannot deny their own desires and frustrations. They also do not want to be the butt of a joke or admit that the fear that their partner does not desire them. It is a sensitive issue and it is time we all begin to respect it.

Because the men I work with are suffering. They are good guys who are genuinely distressed. Just because sex is involved doesn’t make it ridiculous, primitive, or dirty. It doesn’t make it something they should just get over.

It makes it something we all need to begin to acknowledge and validate.

Because it means something. It is a bid for connection. It is what we are asking our men to do and yet, we reject it and even joke about it.

A bid for connection is no less valuable just because it is sexual in nature and just like any other bid for connection it needs to be responded to in loving and considerate ways.

This does not mean that we have to have sex whenever our partner wants it. It means that we need to find additional ways of connecting. It means we need to take the time to make space for connection, whatever that may look like for you.

It is not an issue one partner has to solve in solitude. It is a joint venture that both partners can benefit from if they see it as a valuable opportunity to grow together and strengthen their bond. It allows us to get curious, explore and find new solutions together.

Because minimizing, ridiculing, and shaming someone’s sexual desire for us is not a solution. It does not make it just go away. What it does do is to communicate to our partner that we are not interested in solving a problem that really concerns both of us.

We push our responsibility as a partner away and make it the sole problem of the other person instead of caring about them and our relationship. Tackling this challenge does not mean having to give in or engaging in obligation sex.

It means responding to each other in respectful and loving ways so we can connect emotionally in a way that feels soothing and reassuring. That alone usually results in more intimacy, which makes us feel closer to each other and often helps us want to engage in consensual sex.

But it is not the end goal. The end goal is always a connection, whether we are aware of it or not.

The opposite of connection is a shame, so when your partner comes to you in an attempt to connect – whether that’s sexual or not – don’t shame them for it. Connect with them how you want to but don’t ridicule them. Don’t reject them in shaming ways.

Because the pain of sexual rejection is real. It is as valid as any pain and therefore needs to be seen and validated.

The emotional vulnerability we seek from our men is often presented to us in ways we don’t anticipate. That doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. If we really want to have happy relationships and the emotional connection we say we want to have, we need to attune and respond in loving ways, not shaming ones.

And then we need to seek mutually beneficial solutions together. Because they do exist and make jokes redundant.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

If You’re Frustrated With Dating Apps, Try This Before Deleting Them

Depending on your history with dating apps, you may either love them or hate them. On the one hand, they’re an awesome way to connect with people you would probably never otherwise meet. However, if you’re frustrated with dating apps, either because you’re not getting any matches or because conversations with the ones you are getting end up fizzling out, dating apps can get real tired, real fast. How do some people meet the love of their life on their very first Bumble date, while others spend literal years just fruitlessly swiping? Before you rush to delete all your apps and proclaim an indefinite break from dating, try revising your dating app strategy. You’d be surprised at how small changes to your profile can make a big difference in your matching success.

The tough thing about connecting with someone through a screen is that you can’t really get a sense of their vibe. So much of chemistry is determined by how well you interact in person, on an actual date with a real, live human being. On dating apps, users have to make quick judgement calls based on a few photos and a short bio. No wonder it can feel impossible to meet that perfect person! If your profile doesn’t immediately catch people’s eye, you may lose out on potential connections that would have been great IRL.

What I’m trying to say here is that your profile matters, and it matters a lot. To get more promising matches, try revising your profile to reflect your most authentic personality. “Be specific about yourself,” says Michelle McSweeney, a linguist, and researcher who studies the way people communicate digitally. McSweeney tells Elite Daily that adding quirky details about yourself in your bio can be helpful. “It gives the person reading a much better picture of who you are,” she says. Lots of people like long walks on the beach and guacamole with margaritas — those things aren’t really what makes you you. Do you have a specific recipe you can’t get enough of? What about a favorite place to spend time outside?

McSweeney says these details help make you seem more real, not just an onscreen avatar. “Part of the profile is developing trust — at least enough to meet in person,” she notes. “These small details help establish trust by showing that you are a real person who does things in the real, physical world.” This practice is called “warranting,” and it helps ground you to others and make you more relatable.

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Avoid using your profile to highlight all your biggest accomplishments. This might seem counterintuitive, but dating apps aren’t like Instagram — more curation is not necessarily better. “By presenting only the ‘best of’ reel, it shows prospective matches that you have a more exciting life than they can likely keep up with,” McSweeney says. “If the goal is a relationship, highlight the mundane things, too, because that’s what you’ll really be doing.” Don’t proclaim that you’re always out dancing if you’d rather spend your evenings with popcorn at the movies. If your dream first date is a trip to the art museum, include that detail. The only people you need to impress are the ones you might be compatible with, so don’t worry about listing out all your major achievements. Your unfiltered personality matters more.

Everyone is on apps for a slightly different reason, so it helps to state clearly what kind of relationship you’re looking for. “We should all be honest in our bios, and if that turns people away, it’s fewer people to sift through,” McSweeney says. This doesn’t mean you have to write, “I hope to meet someone with brown hair and a shoulder tattoo, get married in three years, and settle down with two children and a golden retriever.” More generally, what type of companionship would make you happy? “The key to this is to make it about activities rather than the type of person,” McSweeney explains. “So, if you love watching movies, you’re likely looking for someone to watch movies with you.”

You’re not looking for a specific type of person, but rather a person who is willing to do specific things with you. “It’s unlikely you will like someone strictly based on one dimension of their personality, and that’s what we’re saying when we say we’re looking for “X” type of person,” McSweeney says. “When we say we’re looking for someone to do “Y” with, we’re saying that we want someone who is multidimensional.” If you write in your bio that you’re looking for a hiking buddy, you’re opening the door for someone to message you about going hiking. You two share an interest, and now you also have a great first-date idea. It’s a win-win situation.

Don’t be afraid to make your profile a little different from the average Joe’s. “I’ve seen great bios where people talk about their love of punctuation, how they enjoy a specific episode of a show or some quirky thing they like to cook,” McSweeney says. “These details are rich and help people connect to you as the interesting and multidimensional person you are.” You’re much more nuanced than an online profile can show, but if you pique people’s interests, they’ll want to learn more about you. That’s the first step toward getting matches that translate to killer chemistry.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

What Is Meant By Demisexual? 8 Signs You Are One Of Them

The arrival of online dating platforms has somewhere changed the notion of relationships. These days, people are often seen swiping right on their mobile screens and finding a suitable partner through dating applications. Perhaps, therefore, dating trends like casual relationships, hookups, ghosting, and submarining have become prominent. But there are still some people who have the notion of establishing an emotional connection in the first place with their significant other before getting into any kind of physical intimacy. This kind of sexual orientation in people is termed Demisexual, but do we need a tag for this? Doesn’t it sound normal? Let’s discuss this in detail and find out more about this.

Who Is A Demisexual Person?

A demisexual person feels sexual attraction for someone only if he/she is able to establish a strong emotional connection with that person. These people believe in getting physical only if they are emotionally well-connected with their dating partners.

In case, you are wondering how a demisexual person is different from others, then you need to understand, unlike other people a demisexual will never have sexual attraction for random people. Such as many people can find someone they just met, sexually attractive. But this is not the case with a demisexual. These people will find someone sexually appealing only when there is an emotional bond between the two.

But that doesn’t mean these people will have sex once they have developed a strong emotional connection. In fact, a demisexual will feel sexually attracted to the person they are emotionally connected with. The person can be their partner or the friend they have been together with for a long time. Now it depends upon the two people if they want to have a physical relationship or not.

1. You Give Importance To Emotional Attachment

A person who is a demisexual will always crave an emotional attachment. Unlike other people, you are least concerned about whether your partner has good looks or not. All you care about is if your partner is trying to establish an emotional bond or not. In addition to this, having trust and honesty in the relationship is a must thing for you. In fact, it will be no wrong to say, you feel high only when you experience a strong emotional bond.

2. You Value Meaningful And Deep Conversations

It is quite obvious that a meaningful conversation can help in developing an emotional bond. You feel a deep conversation can help you in understanding each other’s perspectives in a better way.

3. You Never Care For Physical Touch

Demisexuals are not attracted to every person they are emotionally close to. For other people, physical touch can be extremely tempting and exciting but this is not the case for people who are demisexual. Such as you may feel stressed and annoyed when someone tries to kiss or touch you right after the end of the date. This is because you do not feel like opening up to someone you have no emotional attachment for.

4. You Want A Meaningful And Close Relationship

As a demisexual, you will always look forward to a meaningful and close relationship. Rather than having a casual relationship, you want comfort, love and support in your relationship. In the initial days of the relationship, you may focus on exploring the comfort level in the relationship and then opening up to your partner. Also, you often put your best efforts to strengthen your relationship.

5. You Aren’t Interested In Hookups

These people do not believe in the idea of having physical relationships without having an emotional bond. They do not feel comfortable wrapping their arms around the person they just met on the date and head to their place for getting physically intimate. For them, lovemaking is a way to express love to each other, and therefore, they want a strong emotional connection and close relationship in the first place.

6. You Are Not Commitment-Phobic

Hookups are alien to them and they simply cannot accept the whole idea of getting attracted to a stranger. Since you are ready to have a close relationship and then establish a physical connection, you are not afraid of making commitments to your partner. In fact, you are ever-ready to spend your life with the one you love and share a strong emotional connection.

7. You Are Often Mis-Understood As Asexual

There can be times, when your friends may think that you are asexual. They may mock you for being unable to find a potential partner with whom you can have sexual intimacy, like ‘no strings attached. Also, they may think you are unable to feel sexually attracted to a person. This is because demisexuality can be difficult to understand at times for people who are unaware of this kind of sexual orientation.

Also read: What Is Breadcrumbing In A Relationship? Signs That Will Help You To Know If You’re Into It!

8. You Consider Sex As A Way To Express Love To Each Other

Once you establish a physical connection with your partner, it is not only about gaining pleasure but also about strengthening your emotional bond. You consider sex as a way to explore your relationship and understanding your partner in a better manner. You are not only concerned about satisfying your partner, but also getting close to him/her.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

How To Be More Attractive To Women & Get The Girl Of Your Dreams

Find out how to make yourself stand out from the rest.

When it comes to dating, it seems like some men have all the luck. So what do those men know about how to be more attractive to women that you don’t?

Women universally love and respect men who are strong.

While researching my book, Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants, one of the biggest complaints I heard from women is that today’s men don’t show initiative and lack grit. They say that men seem oblivious to problems and wait for women to tell them what to do. Even when they’re asked for input about something, men will say, “you decide.”

Single women told me that when they go out for coffee with a man, instead of taking the lead and selecting the place to go, he wants her to choose. And when they finally get somewhere, he wants her to pick the table.

To avoid accusations of being controlling, many men have now gone to the opposite extreme by completely avoiding being assertive. They think they’re showing that they’re non-controlling nice guys and can’t understand why women are frustrated and lose respect for them.

Here are three key ways to become a self-assured man any woman would love:

1. Show leadership

When a man sees a situation that needs to be dealt with, he should step forward and handle it. Women admire men who are willing to step up, instead of waiting for others to solve the problem.

RELATED: The #1 Secret To Being Attractive To Women

2. Make decisions

A man needs to make his share of decisions (like picking a restaurant and/or a table) and take ownership of the outcome, instead of blaming it on someone else. To many women, a man who avoids being decisive is shirking his responsibilities.

3. Take responsibility

Refrain from attacking someone about a situation, and instead, make an effort to improve it.

There is little sympathy for a man who blames a woman for making a bad choice — even when he thinks she pushed him into it. As the man, it’s your lot to skillfully manage and salvage unfortunate circumstances, as well as seek to attain ideal ones.

Despite these tips, it’s important to get to know your mate in order to get a feel for what she wants. Ask specific questions based on the above suggestions. You may be surprised by her response.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Men, Here Are 5 Signs You’ve Fallen Head-Over-Heels In Love With Her

This is an interesting guest post from a reader! Enjoy!

If you feel any of these things, then she’s the one!

Ah, the elusive man falling in love with a woman.

The thing everyone wants to know about, but no one can properly communicate.

Falling in love is complex, it’s not straightforward.

It’s sticky, it’s unintended, and almost always it just sneaks up on you.

I don’t know if most men go through these thoughts and feelings because I am but an island, trying to make sense of my own world, and the world around me.

I guess I think if it’s the same for me, then it will be true for a lot of other men.

One thing that I’ve realized on this earth is that there are many, many shared experiences, and that’s why a lot of people can relate to what I write so well.

As a young man, I remember being petrified of falling in love.

You see, my mum had given me strict guidelines on dating women.

I was to be a one-woman guy and only a one-woman guy.

To be cheating on someone is to be the social outcast of my peer group.

This was hard as a teenager because with my hormones raging, and finding almost any female that showed even a little flesh attractive, I found it difficult to concentrate on any one female at any given time.

Be committed they said.

Easy for them to say since they weren’t the ones that wanted to have sex with almost all of them, and preferably at the same time.

But we learn the ropes pretty fast as kids.

We can see the pretty hefty social restrictions placed on the men that are a bit more generous with their purity than the rest of us.

People talk, women get wise; some, very wise.

We, men, learn really fast about monogamy and the social benefits it provides us with.

I really don’t think men are wired for monogamy in their teens and early twenties.

Almost all of my friends have had some form of extracurricular activities outside of their bog-standard relationships.

In their minds, they’ll never get caught — but that hammer falls down pretty hard sooner or later, especially if there are friends in the circle that are interested in snatching her away from him.

I’d hazard a guess it’s worse now since there’s a real dwindling sense of trust and loyalty amongst friends these days.

Friendships aren’t as tight as they once were.

It only takes a second to delete someone from Facebook.

Being young is for trial and error.

I don’t think we should be too hard on our youngsters, because they are only learning.

We learn through our own experiences the best.

Simply telling them where not to go and what to do, it doesn’t work.

It’s always best to let them experience it first-hand and then be there for support afterward — unless of course, it’s dangerous to their health.

It was after I had endured nearly thirty years of my life, I finally understood love.

I have been through a single-parent family, an abusive dad, a drinking and drugs problem, four stays in a psychiatric facility (one in a secure facility), a severe bout of clinical depression, and afterward, a burning desire to improve my lot now that I finally found out about love.

Here’s what I’ve experienced.

1. Love, at its core, is safety

Nothing beats going about your daily business knowing that your partner will fall on her sword to protect you.

Women, when they love another, are fiercely protective, and as a man, knowing that you have the protection spell of your partner, forged in the fiery pits of mount doom, makes you feel safe.

Men are the physical protectors of the family unit, but we need to feel emotionally connected and safe when we do so.

There are reasons men are closed with their emotions and it’s not because we need to open up more — it’s because we need to meet the right person that we can open up to.

When I met Natalie at the beginning, in the first few months of us being together, it was the first time I had felt emotionally safe, ever.

She has all my secrets close to her and I feel safe knowing that she won’t harm me with them.

Safety is a core element, and I feel it’s underrepresented in the male falling in love cycle.

2. Love is trust

Considering when I met Natalie for the first time I couldn’t trust my own mother, this was something that we battled through hard to get to.

Trust is letting your partner go out with a bunch of male archetypes that really gets her juices flowing and knowing that nothing will happen, and understanding that I’m the one that she’s going to come back to, and she’ll be excited to come back to me.

It’s a very empowering feeling.

Personally, I think building trust from the get-go really intertwines your relationship together and prepares you instead of for the long term.

When I finally understood that we had deep trust between one another, then I knew I was in love.

3. Love is excitement

I think I knew there was something deeper that I had with Natalie when I was excited to see her, even after three months into our relationship.

I personally don’t think this wanes.

My son Alex and I went to London for a few days at the beginning of this year and when we traveled back, she was waiting at the train station for us.

We were both really excited to see her. Even after talking to her every day on the phone.

I can remember getting off the train, and Alex spotting his mum, and off he went – running as fast as his little legs could carry him.

I would have done the same were I not carrying all of the luggage.

We were only gone for a total of two days, but it’s like I say to people, keep your relationship relevant and you’ll always be missing each other and finding each other again.

4. Love is unbridled honesty

It really doesn’t pay to lie. I’m not even one for white lies.

I’ll find a way to wrap up the truth in something soft and fluffy.

I’m at a stage right now where I just don’t want to lie to Natalie because I know that it would harm what we have together.

Why would I jeopardize that?

It’s being honest, truthful, and at the moment with your partner.

I’m honest with her because I know she has my back, and of course vice versa.

It’s a strong emotion and one that compels me to tell the truth all the time.

Lies only complicate matters and adds an uncomfortableness to the relationship that messes with the safety of it all.

Having honesty and knowing that your partner is honest is an amazing feeling.

5. Love is imperfection

We don’t have a perfect relationship.

If you think that we do, then we don’t.

Only just yesterday there were big arguments for waking me up at 5am and the way I reacted to it.

Sometimes I can walk around like a bear with a sore head and have my family walk around on eggshells.

And similarly, with Natalie, for all her amazing traits, she brings with her a strange mix of bad traits too.

You’d think with her being a teacher she’d have an unlimited amount of patience. Not so.

When she wants something done, it has to be now.

And yet, with all our imperfections we still love each other all the more for it.

We work together to better our faults.

I’m trying to be less aggressive in the morning time, and she is trying to have more patience with me.

We do these things because we love each other and want the best for each other.

That’s what love is.

A partnership where two people support each other and only want the best for each other.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1