My Wicked Mistress – Part 3 – The Final Piece

Back in ’13, I was sloshing through life smoking cigarettes, drinking booze, and eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

But then I met Annabelle, and everything changed. I stopped smoking and went on the Paleo diet to look better for my new girlfriend.

I went from a 36″ waist to a 32″ waist in about two months.  It was miraculous. I never slowed down with my boozing, but the ciggies were gone and so was the fat off my body. It was great.

But what I later realized was, that I didn’t do it for myself. I did it to look good for a 26-year-old girl whom I just met at age 52.

I was never in love with her. I was in love with the idea of being in love. The rush of new love and romance. That dopamine drop I got from falling in love was better than any glass of liquor or drug you could ever take. It’s a euphoric high.

But it’s not healthy. I simply traded ciggies and fatty junk food for something else. All for the wrong reasons. I didn’t realize any of this at the time, but it’s just a weird cycle of events that one can spiral through at the onset of a new relationship.

The relationship only lasted 9 months for obvious reasons. We had nothing in common. She had no idea who she was or where she was going. And she was too young for me and from a world that was different than mine. The fundamental things that make for a good relationship between two people just weren’t present.

I didn’t mind that she was gone, but I didn’t like that she kept coming back every month for these little drunken hookups. It never allowed either of us to heal. It just kept the wound open and I had to put a stop to that. So I cut her off for good.

It’s all well documented in the series on this blog, and in my first book, Phicklephilly: One Man’s Journey to Find Love in Philadelphia.

You can read about that disaster here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

So, once she was gone I went back to smoking cigarettes and eating and drinking whatever I wanted. But I remained active and never really gained the weight back.

But in 2018 I gave up cigarettes for life. I was just sick of them and no longer enjoyed any part of it so I ended it. But in the first part of this series, you can see how I traded it for the JUUL vapes. I like them and at least nothing’s burning, there’s no carbon monoxide, there’s no mess, no dirty cigarette smell on me and my clothes and house, and no dirty ashtrays. Just a cleaner vice. (For now!)

Then in 2018 I had the health scare and cut out the consumption of the “oceans of chardonnay and the lakes of vodka” I consumed like I was in Motley Crue in the 80s. Now I consider myself a teetotaler. I probably drink less than the average American now and it’s great. Like cigarettes, I’m just not that into it anymore. I like feeling good and being clear and sober.

I used to write this blog drunk all the time in the beginning. The booze helped loosen my mind and my tongue to release all that content from my brain. But now I only write sober and hardly drink at all anymore. It’s great!

Now here we are in 202o-2021 and I go from running the sports bar on 11th street and 18th street on weekends to sitting at my desk all day writing my blog and my books during covid. This goes on for the rest of 2020 into 2021.

I’m writing my blog, which I’ve monetized, there are book royalties that roll in, and I write freelance commercial articles for companies across the country. So there are a few revenue streams but I still want something to do once my year and a half of being on the dole runs out.

The first retail place I drop my resume off hires me the next day. Spectacular. Any fear that I’d be too old or not able to find work after the pandemic vanished. I’ve got the gift of gab and a myriad of talents, so off I go again into a new vocation and social chapter of my life. I have no fear about anything now. I have no one to impress. I’ve had a colorful life and I just want to keep living and feeling good.

They gave me a couple of T-shirts to wear while working there. But I quickly realized the only ones that fit me comfortably were XL. Extra-large? Really, Chaz? You’re 5’9″ and have been a relatively slim guy your whole life.

But I haven’t been slim. I’m supposed to be, but my boozing and poor diet kept me looking bloated and paunchy. I could hide it with a black button-down shirt and a blazer, but there’s no escaping what your body really looks like. I’m not fat. I’m just out of shape and carrying too much weight for my sized frame.

So I decided to go back on the Paleo. It worked like a charm back in 2013. But I did it for the wrong reasons. I did it to look good for some young lady. You have to do things for yourself. Not someone else. That never works. You’re lying to yourself. You have to eat right and exercise and live right because you want to look and feel healthier for YOU. You should look like you’re supposed to look.

It’s pretty hard because you don’t need cigarettes. That’s a toxic poison. You don’t need drugs. You don’t need booze. You can live perfectly well without any of that. But you must have food. If you don’t eat, you’ll die. And that’s why it’s so difficult for most people to lose weight. We’re surrounded by food in our culture and so many of the things that make us fat or are bad for us taste soooooo good!

But you have to discipline yourself. Cut out the refined carbohydrates, sugar, and caffeine and you’re on your way. Fish, lean meat, nuts, fruits, and vegetables. All foods found in nature are all you need to be healthy. (Sure you need some carbs, but you can always add them back after you’ve turned your weight around)

By the time you read this, I should have already achieved my target goals months ago, but I thought it important to talk about these negative elements that have been in my life for so long.

I’m happy to be free from them and living the healthy happy life I’m supposed to be living and should have been living for my entire adult life.

It took a long time working through my anxiety, depression, and self-medicating to survive. But don’t get me wrong, I had a great time doing all of that bad stuff for years. I wouldn’t trade any of it, because it’s all been a part of my journey.

But I’m happy to say, I finally added the final piece to my health puzzle and it is now complete!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

California Dreamin’ – Ashley – 3 Strikes – Part 1

Santa Monica, CA – 1982

When I first got to Los Angeles in 1982, I got a job as a busboy at a local restaurant in Santa Monica called Cafe Casino. It was located in the Wilshire Pallisades building down by the beachfront. Someone had come up with the idea of serving French cuisine in a cafeteria model. People would enter the restaurant, grab a tray and get in line for their meal. They would point to the things they wanted, and there were a couple of girls that would serve them. It was like an expensive high school lunchroom experience. We had a fun crew of people working there and we had a good time.

I had become friends with one of the girls who worked there named Kellie Lawson. She was from Kenosha, Wisconsin. She was one of a million people who had migrated to Los Angeles to become an actor. Most people that you met out there back then all wanted the same thing. Every person in the service industry was waiting for the big break that would never come. Every waitress was either an actress, singer, model, or dancer. Most of the men you met were actors, musicians, or screenwriters. None of them working in the industry, but waiting…

Kelly had got on a greyhound bus to escape the grinding boredom of her hometown in an attempt to make it big in Hollywood. A classic scenario seen a thousand times out there. We had started dating and would frequently fool around at her apartment. We sort of grew out of touch after I left that job to work at Merlin McFly’s down near Venice.

One afternoon, we’re at the restaurant and the guys and I were hanging outside the dining room by the doors. The lunch rush was over and the two glass doors swung open. Who comes rolling in with his squad but Heisman Trophy champion, O.J. Simpson!

I knew him more from the Hertz commercials, but the other guys all cheered when the athlete entered the restaurant. He was a good-looking guy and said hello to us all. When I shook the hand of this man, who could realize that 10 years later he’d be famous for something else.

One of the girls who worked there that I befriended was a charming beauty named Joelle. She was a part-time model and her boyfriend worked at Disney studios.

Here’s her modeling photo card. Beautiful!

A lovely girl. She was not only beautiful but full of sass. She’d laugh at all my jokes and seemed to find me amusing. I liked working with her and having her as a friend back then.

One day, I came to work and she was standing there with another girl. She was 19 years old, cute, and Joelle told me she was her cousin from Philadelphia. I chatted with her and thought she was cool. Since I was originally from Philly we had a small connection.

She was new to California, and I told her we should hang out. She gave me her number and we made plans to do something together.

Eventually, we started dating and things became romantic. I had already been out there for over a year and was pretty jaded. But Ashley was new and was a fun, sweet girl to spend time with. Sometimes we’d just drive around LA in my van and end up down by the beach. We’d make out in the VW minibus and it was a romantic hot time.

We went on several dates. We went to see, ET: The Extraterrestrial, (I cried like a baby) The Dark Crystal, (A bunch of muppets with David Bowie), and Flashdance. (Chick-flick, but the great soundtrack.)

Sometimes we’d just hang out at my apartment, but many times I’d finish work and come visit her at her cousin’s house out in Culver City. It was fun to hang out in her room and watch TV and make out. We were just a couple of teenagers enjoying life and our youth together. We were a couple of kids on the loose in LA. She loved Richard Gere and I loved Farrah Fawcett.

One night I stayed over there late. We stayed up all night as young people do. When I came out to get in my van to go home, I saw that the driver’s side door was standing wide open.

My minibus had been broken into, and the thieves had stolen my entire stereo system. This was heartbreaking to me because I loved my van and listening to my tunes. They even took the boom box that I used to listen to on the beach back in Wildwood, NJ. I felt so violated by that incident, I was reluctant to go back to her neighborhood again. It was a planned professional job. They had hit several cars on the street that night.

The more Ashley and I spent time together the closer we became. She would stay over at my apartment in Mar Vista on the weekends. That eventually turned into our first intimate encounters. I don’t think I realized at the time that I was Ashley’s first.

But after that, it was really fun to be together, and fooling around became part of our relationship. It was a natural progression back then. You can only make out in my van for so long before the bigger things start happening.

One night while we were in my apartment fooling around someone broke into the apartment next door and robbed the place. My neighbor was in Greece at the time with her boyfriend so nobody was home. The thieves ransacked the place and I suppose stole anything valuable.  I later heard from one of my neighbord that they saw some guys listening next to my window to see if anybody was home. But I guess hearing our laughter they moved on to next door and ripped off my neighbor’s place instead of robbing us. Crazy!

My neighbor moved out shortly after that and I moved into her apartment. It was bigger and installed a waterbed I had gotten from a chef I worked with at McFlys who had back problems. That waterbed only cost me $120 and was awesome! It was so cool having a waterbed. I remember one night the thermostat in the unit went off and the whole side of my body was cold when I woke up. I thought I was half dead! I had a lot of wild times on that waterbed.

More tomorrow!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please like, comment, share, and most of all, follow Phicklephilly. 

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Tales of Rock – 20 of the Craziest Rock Star Confessions

 

 

The best kind of wild rock ‘n’ roll stories are the ones that come from the artists’ own recollections. Wild parties, drug binges, run-ins with the law, and questionable romantic entanglements – these only scratch the surface of rock stars’ wildest admissions. Read on for rock royalty’s most lurid confessions over the years, in their own words.

DAVE SIMPSON, WIREIMAGE

Slash’s 2007 eponymous biography contained plenty of eye-popping stories about his wild years with Guns ‘N Roses, from the time he ran naked across a golf course during a drug binge to Axl Rose staging a sexual encounter in a recording studio to spice up their song “Rocket Queen.” He explained, “We lit up some candles for atmosphere, then (the woman) and Axl went out into the live room, got down on the floor by the drum riser, and we recorded (their) performance,” he recalled. “Enjoy it – it’s right there in the final mix.”

KEVIN WINTER/GETTY IMAGES

Unsurprisingly, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards has enough crazy stories to fill a book. His 2010 memoir “Life” contained an anecdote from his younger years when he was driving his bandmates in his car, which was filled with hidden drugs. “I had a denim cap with all these pockets in it that were filled with dope,” he said. “Everything was filled with dope. In the car doors themselves, all you had to do was pop the panels, and there were plastic bags of coke and grass, peyote, and mescaline. Oh my god, how are we going to get out of this?” he recalled asking himself.

KEVIN MAZUR/WIREIMAGE

Richards, whose past drug use is well-documented, also famously admitted to NME magazine in 1997 that he ingested his father’s ashes, which he mixed with cocaine. “My dad wouldn’t have cared,” he said. “It went down pretty well, and I’m still alive.”

DOMINIC TARLE/EPA

The members of Mötley Crüe – Tommy Lee, Mick Mars, Vince Neil and Nikki Sixx –collaborated on the 2001 autobiography “The Dirt: Confessions of the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band,” featuring pithy stories like this one from Lee: “I announced to everyone that I was embarking on a solo tour. Not a music tour, but a tour of drugs and prostitutes.”

J. KIELY JR., ASSOCIATED PRESS

“The Dirt” also featured an anecdote about Tommy Lee’s debaucherous 1986 wedding to his second wife, actress Heather Locklear. “Rudy, one of techs, gave us the best toast ever: ‘To Tommy and Heather,’ he said, raising a champagne glass. ‘May all your ups and downs be in bed.’ Then he took the champagne glass and smashed it over his head.”

MICHAEL TWEED/AP

Six years after “The Dirt” came out, Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx published his own book, 2007’s “The Heroin Diaries: A Year In The Life Of A Shattered Rock Star,” which recounted his descent towards rock bottom. “There is something about spending Christmas alone, naked, sitting by the Christmas tree gripping a shotgun, that lets you know your life is spinning dangerously outta control,” he wrote.

VALERIE MACON, AFP/GETTY IMAGES

One of rock ‘n’ roll’s most shocking – not to mention cautionary – tales come from Marilyn Manson, who claimed in a 1995 interview with High Times that he ground up human bones and smoked them. “It was terrible,” he said. “It smelled like burnt hair, gave you a really bad headache, and made your eyes red.”

CHRIS PIZZELLO, INVISION/AP

“It was (a decadent lifestyle),” Manson told Spin in 2003 about his recording process. “I think (collaborator Trent Reznor) felt unable to deal with it, and it crumbled our relationship. I would go to bed at 7 a.m., wake up at 4 p.m. and then begin drinking and doing drugs. The funniest point – which is something I just watched a videotape of – was a day when I wore only a blond wig, a Burger King crown, and a paper towel tube around my (expletive). I walked around like that in broad daylight. To me, that’s true rock & roll, and I’m not afraid to go there again.”

JACK FORDYCE / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Perhaps rock ‘n’ roll’s craziest 21st birthday party belonged to The Who’s late drummer Keith Moon, who recounted the night’s bacchanalia at a Holiday Inn in Flint, Michigan, in a 1972 Rolling Stone interview.  “By the time the sheriff came in I was standing there in (my) underpants,” he recalled. “I ran out, jumped into the first car I came to, which was a brand new Lincoln Continental. It was parked on a slight hill and when I took the handbrake off, it started to roll and it smashed straight through this pool surround [fence] and the whole Lincoln Continental went into the (Holiday) Inn swimming pool, with me in it. We’d also destroyed a piano. Completely destroyed it. Reduced it to kindling. And don’t forget the carpet. And the Lincoln Continental in the bottom of the pool. So I got a bill for $24,000.”

S. THORGERSON, ©HIPGNOSIS

Such hijinks are not solely the domain of men.  Jefferson Airplane singer Grace Slick shared her own tales in her 1999 book, “Somebody to Love? A Rock-and-Roll Memoir.” A sample: “Having ingested the entire contents of the mini-bar in my hotel room before I arrived at the venue for the show, I stuck my fingers in this guy’s nostrils just because I thought they’d probably fit.”

REED SAXON, ASSOCIATED PRESS

Red Hot Chili Peppers singer Anthony Kiedis detailed his history of bad behavior in his 2005 autobiography “Scar Tissue. Recounting one example of excess, he and guitarist Hillel Slovak, a fellow heroin addict, were trying to steer clear of that drug while on tour. So instead they would drink copious amounts of  Jagermeister because it “gave us the feeling closest” to that drug’s high. The Jagermeister high was at least enough to prompt Kiedis to “take off all my clothes in the motel and walk down the hall and knock on people’s doors.”

AMY HARRIS, INVISION/AP

Kiedis also recalled meeting a girl on tour in the mid-’80s and bringing her on their tour bus, only to have the encounter go terribly wrong. “‘I have something to tell you,'” she told him. “‘My father’s the chief of police and the entire state of Louisiana is looking for me because I’ve gone missing. Oh, and besides that, I’m only fourteen.’ ” How did he react?  “I wasn’t incredibly scared,” he wrote, “because in my somewhat deluded mind, I knew that if she told the chief of police she was in love with me, he wasn’t going to have me taken out to a field and shot, but I did want to get her the (expletive) back home right away.”

FERNANDO BIZERRA/EPA-EFE

In a 2014 Reddit AMA, AC/DC’s Angus Young described the time his guitar amplifier caught on fire while he was recording his solo for 1977’s “Let There Be Rock.” “Yes, it was on fire and I had to keep playing until the end because my brother was in the control room, and yelling out ‘KEEP GOING!’ – so I had to keep going until the thing kind of went into meltdown,” he wrote. “And on this album, ‘Rock or Bust,’ we had the same thing … my amp just went on fire. And I didn’t even know! I thought it was a cigarette going. But (producer Brendan  O’Brien) was shouting out, ‘Ang, you’re on fire!’ “

WINSLOW TOWNSON/INVISION/AP

The drug habits of Aerosmith singer Steven Tyler and guitarist Joe Perry were so legendary, they became known as the “toxic twins.” In Tyler’s 2012 autobiography “Does the Noise in My Head Bother You?” he recounted how Perry kept “vials of coke with straws in them at the back of the stage, and when the lights would go out he’d go over there like he was checking something or making a guitar change and (a roadie) would put the straw in his nose; he’d take a hit, then the lights would come on again.”

ANGELA WEISS/AFP/GETTY IMAGES

In his “I am Ozzy” memoir,  Ozzy Osbourne revealed the cocaine-inspired original title of Black Sabbath’s 1972 album “Vol. 4.” He wrote, “For me, ‘Snowblind’ was one of Black Sabbath’s best-ever albums – although, the record company wouldn’t let us keep the title, ‘cos in those days cocaine was a big deal, and they didn’t want the hassle of a controversy.”

FRAZER HARRISON / GETTY IMAGES

Black Sabbath’s Tony Iommi elaborated on Osbourne’s wild behavior in a 1992 interview with Guitar World. “We were all in an elevator in this real plush hotel, and Ozzy decides to (relieve himself). As he’s doing it, the elevator is going down to the reception floor. The door opens suddenly – and there’s Ozzy with his pants around his knees. And all these people in fur coats are just staring at him with their mouths open.”

RUSTY KENNEDY, AP

Iggy Pop detailed his raucous 1970s in the anthology “Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk.” He noted that one time, he was confronted by Elton John in a gorilla costume, and was so high he thought Elton was a real gorilla. “I’d taken so many downers the night before, they threw me in the bushes, just left me in the shrubbery next to the Days Inn. I woke up and I couldn’t talk … I could barely stand up, and that night Elton John came out onstage in a gorilla costume. I was like, ‘Oh my god! What do I do?’ I couldn’t fight him.”

NAOMI RAHIM, WIREIMAGE

In his 2011 memoir  “Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock,” Van Halen singer Sammy Hagar (bottom left) detailed the band’s infamous backstage changing areas, which the band and its crew referred to as “sex tents.” He shared more details in an interview that year with  Boston’s WZLX 100.7 FM. “I’d walk down there when Eddie (Van Halen) was doing his solo, but sometimes there’d be four or five girls down there, which was to my order. Sometimes it was and the roadies were just like, ‘Hey, these girls wanted to meet you.’ And I’m like, ‘Here I am!’  You start changing your clothes because they’re all sweaty. You have a 20-minute break, and it’s like, next!'”

ASSOCIATED PRESS

Sting’s 1998 biography “Demolition Man” delved into the singer’s tantric sex habits, in which he would hold himself back while making love for several hours at a time. He later debunked the rumors about it during a 2014 “Inside the Actor’s Studio” interview. “If we had seven hours, I would demonstrate,” he said. “Maybe not. But there is some truth to it. The idea of tantric sex is a spiritual act. I don’t know any purer and better way of expressing a love for another individual than sharing that wonderful, I call it, ‘sacrament.’ I would stand by it. Not seven hours, but the idea.”

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Jane Seymour on Finding New Love in Her Late-60s: No Tinder

This Oct. 6, 2019 photo shows actress Jane Seymour posing at The Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles to promote her role in “The Kominsky Method.” (Photo by Rebecca Cabage/Invision/AP)

Jane Seymour was in her mid-60s when her husband of 20 years decided it was over. The actress was floored.

“I had a long marriage and never thought it was going to end,” the 68-year-old said recently while promoting the second season of Netflix’s “The Kominsky Method,” co-starring Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin.

“I’m going, ‘I what? I date? What? Are you crazy? How does this work?’” Seymour said. “And then my kids would say, ‘Mom, there’s this thing called Tinder.’ And I’m like, ‘No, that’s not going to happen.’”

But similar to her character in “The Kominsky Method” who runs into an old flame, fate intervened, and Seymour stumbled upon a new romance. She has been with boyfriend and British film director David Green since 2014, about a year after her divorce from filmmaker James Keach, who directed “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman,” Seymour’s iconic role.

“Accidentally I ran into somebody I knew 38 years earlier who had been in a long marriage and his marriage ended,” she said. “It wasn’t his choice and my marriage ended, it wasn’t my choice. And we randomly met accidentally 38 years later and realized we were free, and we’ve been together ever since. So I do not have to date.”

Her experience drew Seymour to “The Kominsky Method,” in which she plays Madelyn, who reconnects with Arkin’s character (Norman) at a funeral following the deaths of their spouses.

“I do get this whole thing of having a relationship with someone that’s contemporary, you know?” Seymour said. “We’re both dealing with older children, exes, and our future … how long will we live? How can we stay healthy? How can we tick off our bucket list? Do we still want to work or do we feel like we’ve only just started, which is the case with me and David?”

The Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning actress has four children and two stepchildren from her four marriages.

On top of acting and a busy family life, Seymour designs furniture and jewelry. Seymour recently had a one-woman art show in Washington, D.C., she writes books, runs a nonprofit, and produces movies.

“I do what I do because I love it,” she said. “I don’t think of it ever as a job … It’s called living. So I don’t see retiring. You don’t retire from life.”

In fact, Seymour said her own children have a tough time keeping up with her.

“Inside of me, I’m 20. OK? I hang out with my 23-year-old boys, and the other day I was with them running around Europe and they said, ‘Mom, can you slow down?’” she said. “I went, ‘No, this is the pace at which I go and you are a third of my age, so you better just catch up with Mama.’ I just love life.”

With age, she said, has come “more of a freedom in kind of accepting who I am and what I look like and how I feel now than I did when I was younger when I was trying maybe too hard to be something.”

Seymour first caught the eye of audiences when she played Bond girl Solitaire in 1973’s “Live and Let Die.” Asked what it’s like to be a sex symbol for nearly five decades and well into her 60s, Seymour scoffed.

“I’ve never thought of it that way,” she said, noting that she and her Bond character were both virgins. “So hardly a sex symbol. I didn’t know what sex was.”

Since then, Seymour has posed in “Playboy” three times, in 1973, 1987, and last year, when the magazine said the actress “is more of a sex symbol now than when she played a Bond girl.”

To Seymour, sexy means being comfortable in your own skin at every age. That’s why she hasn’t had plastic surgery, the actress said.

“I made a choice a long time ago not to do all the things that other people do because I’m not trying to look like me when I’m 20 or 30. It’s kind of pointless,” she said. “So, I just thought, let’s put on a gray wig and have some wrinkles and actually play characters.”

Seymour said she’s one of the lucky actresses who’ve landed great roles after 40.

“Hollywood’s been pretty good to me, actually,” she said. “Back in the day, they used to say if you’re a woman and you’re 40, you’re done. Well, when I was 40, I got ‘Dr. Quinn.’ So that’s when I started. And to be honest, right now I feel like this is my moment because there are all these amazing characters that I can now play without having to worry about whether I look like a leading lady.

Her eyes glimmered: “And I can still play it like a leading lady if I put my hair and makeup together.”

 

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

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The Weirdest, Creepiest and Most Annoying Songs of the 70’s – Part 8

If you were like me in the 1970’s you listened to top 40 radio most of the time. You heard a lot of great songs and instant classics. But among them were many unforgettable songs that were just weird or strange. I’ve tried from memory to remember the ones that stand out in my mind.

For weird reasons they became hits. They either made no sense or having any musical merit. Just a bizarre era of story songs.

Of course, this stuff is all pretty subjective but I did have a few criteria for what should be here. I decided to include a song if it:

• • made me sick without even listening to it again
  • made me want to break my radio
  • made my stomach turn
  • brought out violent thoughts of hatred, revenge, etc.
  • reminded me how lame the radio and record companies are
  • could make me want to break my stereo
  • would make me leave a bar or club if they started playing it
  • would make me boo a band who started playing it
  • suspended my belief in a divine force that governs the universe

I’m not saying that there weren’t ANY good songs during the 70s but there was just a truck-load of waste back then. If anybody’s stupid enough to think that ALL disco sucks, remember that it’s just a bastard son of rhythm & blues just like rock’n’roll is- so they’re related, see? Also, the 1970’s definitely didn’t have a monopoly on shitty music- there was tons of crap unleashed on us in the decade before and after and now also (there’s a future article there somewhere). Clothes-pin anyone?

The 70’s was an interesting time for music. There was a lot of experimentation and creativity from that decade, but there was also plenty of crap as well. Here is my list of the worst and most irritating songs of the 70’s.

 

Feelings – Morris Albert – 1975

Thankfully, Morris Albert has no incredibly sad story and famous offspring that will make you regret listening to his song. He’s just the singer of an incredibly, stunningly crappy song. “Feelings” has been mocked and reviled for a good 45 years, largely for the lack of specificity in the lyrics. What kind of feelings is Morris singing about? It’s clearly a love song, but it’s hard to think of a more vague term than “feelings” to describe, um, feelings. Albert maintains a following in his native Brazil, but he hasn’t had much success in America since he shared his “Feelings” with us back in 1975. If you wonder why punk had to happen, listen to this song.

It’s about a noun. It could have been written by a suicidal 14-year-old submitting to her high-school literary magazine in a last-ditch attempt to garner sympathy from the would-be lover who spurned her in front of everyone in the cafeteria. Feelings? Whoa whoa whoa, feelings.

I think we all felt the nausea of this song in 1975. I remember one of the neighbor’s girls said the following words to my sister. “Let’s sing…Feelings.” My sister quietly declined the offer because she had just eaten.

I remember when the song would come on a friend of mine would mock the lyrics. “Fuelings… Mid-Air… Refuelings.”

Excuse me… I have to go throw up in a bucket.

Seasons In The Sun – Terry Jacks – 1974

I really have it out for mid-1970s soft rock. This one is another song about a tragedy. “Billy Don’t Be A Hero” is about a woman begging her boyfriend to be safe while fighting the Civil War, and Terry Jacks’ 1974 mega-hit is about a dying person saying goodbye to his loved ones. The song was written by poet Rod McKuen in the early 1960s and first made a hit by Belgian singer Jacques Brel in 1961. The version by Terry Jacks hit Number One around the world in 1974, but Jacks largely retired from music just a few years later.

 Terry Jacks “Seasons in the Sun” hit #1 for three weeks in 1974, making 1974 perhaps the worst year ever for popular music. In fact, out of all of the songs on this list, 12 of them peaked in airplay during 1974, 10 of which reached the #1 spot on the Billboard chart. 1974 was such a hideous year for music that popular radio station WLS in Chicago dropped their weekly ranking of their 40 top songs down to a weekly ranking of only 15 records per week. Still, even with only 15 records, most of them were virtually unlistenable, as in this example.

Ugh… this song makes me want to eat a bullet.

The Streak – Ray Stevens – 1974

Ray Stevens was actually a talented songwriter, producer, and music executive with a dark side. In spite of his obvious talent, he insisted on writing and recording distinctly offensive or idiotic low-brow novelty songs for most of his career, including “Ahab the Arab” (“humorously” pronounced “Aay-rabb”—get it?), “Guitarzan,” and “Harry The Hairy Ape.” In 1969, Stevens became a regular on The Andy Williams Show, and in the summer of 1970, he got his own summer replacement show, The Ray Stevens Show. “The Streak” played on the 1970s prank of running naked through a public place. Released in late March 1974, the song hit #1 on the Billboard charts for three weeks in May 1974, and its insidious presence was all but inescapable for most of the American public.

I’m ashamed of all popular radio in the 70s at this point.

Have You Never Been Mellow – Olivia Newton-John – 1975

I couldn’t decide between this song and her other horrible hits of the ’70s (“I Honestly Love You,” “Hopelessly Devoted to You,” and “With a Little More Love”), but in the end, the title question itself is what put it over the top.

I’ve always loved ONJ as a woman and as a songbird. I probably only like the actress Susan George because she reminds me of ONJ. She always had such a lovely light feminine voice. Who can forget her enormous hit, Physical? I bought that album. I loved her then and I love her now. But this stuff from her early career is just so sugary, I need an insulin shot after listening to any of them.

Escape (Pina Colada Song) – Rupert Holmes – 1979

This is the one song on the list that some people might actually appreciate on some level. Holmes was inspired to write “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” when he saw a want ad in the paper. He wondered what would happen if he responded to it, only to discover it had been placed by his own wife. The lyrics originally went “If you like Humphrey Bogart,” at the last minute he changed it to “Pina Coladas,” a drink he didn’t even particularly enjoy. The couple in the song both agree to meet at O’Malleys Bar and don’t seem all that miffed to discover they were both trying to cheat on each other. Instead, they discover they both love Pina Coladas, being caught in the rain, and making love at midnight. It’s like a modern-day, O. Henry story. Maybe those should be called O’Malley stories now.  Holmes had another hit in 1980 with “Him,” but after that, his pop career pretty much went into the trash. He’s had far more success in recent years as a playwright.

I love his wardrobe choice for this video. Really dude? You had nothing else to wear? It looks like you just came from Sunday brunch. His stage presence is awful. I saw better choreography during the Lee Harvey Oswald prison transfer.

But I digress…

It’s also fun to watch him gingerly descend the stairs on set.

You Light Up My Life – Debby Boone- 1977

How many weddings in the late ’70s was this steaming pile of garbage played at? (All of them?)

You don’t hear it much these days, but “You Light Up My Life” was actually the single biggest song of the 1970s. It spent 10 weeks at Number One, a record not beaten until 1991 when Boyz II Men stayed on top for 13 weeks in 1991. The song was written as a love song, but Pat Boone’s daughter Debby always interpreted it as a song about her devotion to God. The song was written by Joe Brooks, who was arrested in 2009 on charges that he lured 11 women to his apartment with the promise of a movie audition, and then sexually assaulted them. He committed suicide before the case went to trial. Around the same time, this was all going down, his son Nicholas was arrested for murdering his girlfriend. The New York tabloids had a field day with the two cases. Knowing all that, it’s hard to listen to the song in quite the same way. It just goes to show that you can write the biggest hit of the 70s and still go out and do some vile stuff.

We already hate the song, and now because of what I wrote above, we can all hate it even more!

The Morning After – Maureen McGovern – 1972

This was featured as a song on the doomed ocean liner in the film The Poseidon Adventure, Maureen McGovern’s schlocktacular effort (penned by 20^th Century Fox songwriting hacks Al Kasha and Joel Hirschhorn) was released a year after the film and climbed to #1 for two weeks in August 1974. The song won best original song Academy Award and led the trio to team up again for another Oscar-winning debacle, “We May Never Love Like This Again,” in 1974’s The Towering Inferno. Few efforts better encapsulate the way that musical expression and creativity were cynically packaged for commercial consumption throughout most of the 1970s.

Kill me now!

Me and You and a dog named Boo – Lobo – 1971

This is the 1971 debut single by Lobo. Written by Lobo under his real name Kent LaVoie, it appears on the Introducing Lobo album.

The single peaked at #5 on the Hot 100 and was the first of four of his songs to hit #1 on the Easy Listening chart, where it had a two-week stay at that top spot in May 1971. The song also reached #4 in the UK Singles Chart in July 1971 and spent four weeks at #1 in New Zealand. 

Internationally, “Me and You and a Dog Named Boo” was Lobo’s second most successful song among more than 15 single releases, surpassed only by “I’d Love You to Want Me” the following year. (More trash)

Like Bobby Goldsboro, Lobo has the same ridiculous haircut. It’s just awful. Hair helmet! It doesn’t even look real!

I’d knock over an elderly lady in a walker to get to the radio to turn this crap off. England Dan and John Ford Coley, I’m not.

 

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Tales of Rock – 20 Little Known Facts About Liv Tyler’s Relationship With Her Dad, Steven Tyler

If you’re an older millennial, you grew up watching Liv Tyler on your screen. Whether it was in a music video or in your favorite movie (like, say, Armageddon) she had some impact on your life in terms of pop culture back then. And now, she’s a happy mother living the family life with her very famous family.

In case you’ve lived under a rock your entire life, you know exactly who Steven Tyler is. He’s the frontman for Aerosmith and has been a famous rock icon for decades. While the rock star world/Hollywood world always seemed a little puzzling for outsiders, it’s been comforting knowing that while the Tyler family has its quarks, they’re still extremely close-knit.

Here are 20 things you never knew about Liv Tyler and Steven’s father/daughter relationship.

Liv Had No Idea Steven Was Her Father For 10 Years

Paper Magazine

We’ve heard this story before and if you haven’t, you’re in for a WHOA. Liv Tyler was basically raised by her mother, model Bebe Buell, her grandmother, and her aunt. For years, her mother harbored this secret from Liv until years later, when she was FINALLY told that Aerosmith frontman was the man who helped give her life.

Singer Todd Rundgren Was The One She Thought Was Her Father

Zimbo

A man DID sign her birth certificate under “father,” however, and that man was famous rock n’ roll artist Todd Rundgren. Tyler even had Rundgren’s last name for the longest time. “Todd basically decided when I was born that I needed a father so he signed my birth certificate,” Liv said. “He knew that there was a chance I might not be his but…”

And He Was An Excellent Father To Her

Pinterest

In interviews when asked about Todd Rundgren’s influence on her life, Liv always gushes over her stepfather, even though she didn’t see him too often. He was the first man there for her when no other man was, and she cherishes that. “Todd was my father,” she said. “He completely supported me and put me through amazing private schools.”

She Adored Steven Before She Knew

At the delicate age of eight, her mother took her to one of step father’s concerts and Steven Tyler happened to be backstage so her mom introduced them. She felt a strange connection with him and even had his poster up on her bedroom wall. She started to suspect that he was her father when she got older and her mom finally confirmed it.

Her Mother Kept It From Liv Because Steven Was In A Dark Place

Harper’s Bazaar

When she finally found out about who her real father was, she started to resent her mother for keeping the truth from her. But, it was all for a good reason. Buell kept the secret from Liv because Steven was reeling heavily from substance abuse at the time. He didn’t try to connect with his daughter until after he came out of rehab.

Steven Hit On Liv’s Friend Cameron Diaz When They Were Young

Liv has always gossiped about some embarrassing things that her father did when she was younger, and one was apparently hitting on her young friends around her. He apparently asked out actress Cameron Diaz right in front of Liv, who quickly put a stop to the conversation. “Daddy, you’re hitting on my best girlfriend!” she exclaimed.

Steven’s Absence From Liv’s Life Made A Lasting Impact On Her Personal Relationships

Even though Rundgren was in her life, she rarely saw him and was basically raised by strong, female figures like her mom and grandmother. There were strings of men in and out of her life, but she never really had a definitive father figure in her life until her teens and she believes that had a negative effect on her personal relationships with me.

She Had A Hard Time Growing Up With Famous Parents

Pinterest

Any child who was raised in the public eye will tell you that they had a difficult time growing up. When your parents are super famous, it’s awkward for you because everyone already knows who you are and personal details about your life, so it’s no wonder that Liv revealed she had a difficult time growing up with famous parents.

Liv Starred In Aerosmith’s Music Video “Crazy” When She Was 16

YouTube

She had only known her father to be her actual father for a few short years before she starred in his famous Aerosmith music video “Crazy” along with Alicia Silverstone. Both young teenagers bonded together when they were shooting and became fast friends. Liv even still looks basically the same as she did when she was 16.

…And No One Who Worked On The Video Knew She Was His Daughter

Another crazy thing about Liv being cast in that particular music video back in the 90s is that absolutely no one (other than Steven and Liv) knew that Liv was actually Steven’s daughter. There was a hullabaloo when it was finally revealed because Liv acted very provocatively in the video so some were shocked to learn the news.

She’s Close With Steven Now

If you’ve been paying attention to their relationship over the past few decades, they wasted no time forming a really tight father/daughter bond in order to make up for the missed time. Through the years, they’re constantly supporting each other through major achievements in both their careers and have a dang good relationship.

…Even When She’s Embarrassed By Him

Recently, Liv Tyler went on the record and spoke about what actually he does that embarrassed her or continues to embarrass her after all these years (that don’t include him hitting on any of her close girlfriends). Apparently, she HATES it when he gyrates his body on his microphone and has cringed and said “stop it, dad!” to him.

Liv Was Thrilled When She Found Out She Had A Sister

When she found out that Steven Tyler was her real dad, not only was she over the moon about it, she was also thrilled to find out that she had a sister as well, Steven’s other daughter Mia. Liv was raised an only child and always longed to have siblings, so when she and Mia met, it was an instant connection that was missing.

Steven Was With Liv When She Gave Birth To Her Son

Liv has said when she was pregnant with her second child, a son named Sailor, she went into premature delivery. When she was rushed to the hospital, she called up her sister Mia to meet her there, and Mia ended up bringing Steven as well, They arrived minutes before she delivered her son and Steven cut the umbilical cord.

Is He A Good Grandfather?

If there’s one thing we’ve learned over the years about Steven Tyler, it’s that he’s an insanely attentive grandfather to all his grandchildren, especially Liv’s kids. If you head over to her Instagram, you’ll see pictures of him playing around with the kids and him just completely doting on all of them in fantastic ways.

Was He The Reason She Picked Up Smoking At Age 14?

imdb

Liv has revealed that she picked up the nasty habit of smoking when she was only 14-years-old, and if we look back at both her parents, we can see why. Both were avid smokers at a young age so Liv probably learned the habit from them. She’s very self-aware of it being a bad habit now and hopes her kids don’t do it.

Liv Says Steven Is “Like A Unicorn”

Liv has gone on the record and spoke out how much both her father and her step-father mean to her in multiple interviews. “They are like unicorns or wizards,” she once said of both. “They are musicians through and through. The way they think is just different. Their eccentricities have made me more practical and more normal, in a way.”

She Has A Lot Of Embarrassing Stories About Him

Pinterest

When your father is in the spotlight, you’re bound to have stories about him (a few of which we’ve already listed before. When she goes on talk shows, they usually ask her the same thing: “What has Steven Tyler done to embarrass you?” and she always bursts out laughing. This particular story she told on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen.

Her Instagram Feed Reveals That They’re Still Close

It’s not just grandfather pictures Liv posts on her Instagram feed whenever Steven is around. Her pictures have shown an intimate side of her father – one who travels the world with her and her family, one who spends an abundance of time with her. They’ve even done an Instagram video of the two of them singing together.

He’s Proud Of The Mother She’s Become

Popsugar

In interviews he’s done, Steven always gushes about his children and grandchildren, especially when it comes to Liv. He remarks about what kind of mother she is to her children and that he’s happy to be included so much in their lives. It’s wonderful to watch the two of them just love each other through the media.

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Tales of Rock – SPECIAL REPORT – Evan Rachel Wood and Other Women Make Allegations of Abuse Against Marilyn Manson

In the past, actor and activist Evan Rachel Wood has spoken about the alleged abuse she was subjected to by an unnamed ex. In an Instagram post early Monday morning, she put a name to the allegations.

“The name of my abuser is Brian Warner, also known to the world as Marilyn Manson,” Wood wrote. “He started grooming me when I was a teenager and horrifically abused me for years. I was brainwashed and manipulated into submission. I am done living in fear of retaliation, slander, or blackmail. I am here to expose this dangerous man and call out the many industries that have enabled him before he ruins any more lives. I stand with the many victims who will no longer be silent.”

In a show of solidarity, at least four other women posted their own allegations against Manson, detailing harrowing experiences that they claim included sexual assault, psychological abuse, and/or various forms of coercion, violence, and intimidation. After being quickly dropped by his record label, Loma Vista, and cut from a TV series, Manson posted a statement to his Instagram account, making a sweeping denial without addressing any of the women’s specific allegations: “Obviously, my art and my life have long been magnets for controversy, but these recent claims about me are horrible distortions of reality. My intimate relationships have always been entirely consensual with like-minded partners. Regardless of how – and why – others are now choosing to misrepresent the past, that is the truth.”

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A post shared by Marilyn Manson (@marilynmanson)

Wood, now 33 and a star of HBO’s Westworld, has said that she met shock-rocker Manson when she was 18 and he was 36. In 2018, Wood testified before a House Judiciary Subcommittee as part of an effort to get the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights passed in all 50 states. “My experience with domestic violence was this: Toxic mental, physical and sexual abuse which started slow but escalated over time, including threats against my life, severe gaslighting and brainwashing, waking up to the man that claimed to love me raping what he believed to be my unconscious body,” she told the subcommittee, though she did not name a perpetrator at the time.

The following year, she testified before California legislators on behalf of the Phoenix Act, legislation that altered the statute of limitations for crimes involving domestic violence.

In 2009, in an article in Spin, Manson was quoted as saying of Wood, “I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer.” Last year, when that comment was brought up by a music journalist, a representative for Manson noted that the comment was “obviously a theatrical rock star interview promoting a new record, and not a factual account.” Wood and Manson were engaged in 2010 before breaking up.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, in May of 2018, months after the #MeToo movement began sweeping through the entertainment industry, a police report was filed against Manson citing unspecified sex crimes that allegedly took place in 2011. In August of 2018, the Los Angeles District’s Attorney office announced that it was declining to pursue that case because of a lack of corroborating evidence. At that time, Manson’s attorney, Howard E. King, told The Hollywood Reporter that the “allegations made to the police were and are categorically denied by Mr. Warner and are either completely delusional or part of a calculated attempt to generate publicity…. Any claim of sexual impropriety or imprisonment at that, or any other, time is false.”

• 

  In the Wake of Abuse Allegations Against Marilyn Manson, His Record Label Drops Him, AMC Cuts Him From a Series—And a Senator Calls for an FBI Investigation

Here are excerpts from other statements that named Manson on Monday:

ASHLEY WALTERS

“I continue to suffer from PTSD, and struggle with depression. I stayed in touch with quite a few people who went through their own traumas, under his control. As we all struggled, as survivors do, to get on with our lives, I’d keep hearing stories disturbingly similar to our own experiences. It became clear the abuse he’s caused; he continues to inflict on so many and I cannot stand by and let this happen to others. Brian Warner needs to be held accountable.”

SARAH MCNEILLY

“I have been afraid to bring any spotlight upon myself as to avoid winding up in his crosshairs again. As a result of the way he treated me, I suffer from mental health issues and PTSD that have affected my personal and professional relationships, self-worth, and personal goals. I believe he gets off on ruining people’s lives. I stand in support of all that have and all will come forward. I want to see Brian held accountable for his evil.”

ASHLEY LINDSAY MORGAN

“I have night terrors, PTSD, anxiety, and mostly crippling OCD. I try to wash constantly to get him out or off of me…. I am coming forward so he will finally stop.”

GABRIELLA

“It has taken me five years to speak out and say that I was in an abusive relationship. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and still suffer from nightmares. I blocked out a lot of the memories, but the feelings remain and manifest in various ways. The reason I’m finally sharing this traumatic experience is for my healing and because I’m done being silent. I don’t believe it’s fair for someone to not be held accountable for their horrific actions. I’m not a victim. I’m a survivor.”

Among the people to speak out in support of Wood and the other women on Monday was Manson’s former fiancee, Rose McGowan, who posted a statement on Twitter that read, in part: “I stand with Evan Rachel Wood and other brave women who have come forward.”

In addition to his career as a musician, Manson has also worked regularly as an actor. He’s appeared in a number of films as well as television programs like American Gods, Salem, Sons of Anarchy, and The New Pope. He was set to appear in the 2021 season of AMC’s horror anthology Creepshow, but AMC has told V.F. that it will no longer air the segment of the episode starring Manson. There may be more fallout to come. California state senator Susan Rubio is calling for the FBI and the DOJ to launch an investigation into the allegations.

In a 2019 interview, Wood said, “I used to think being strong was not being affected. And now, to me, being strong is letting it affect you but being able to move past it, and seeing the pain, walking through it, letting it flow through you, and then letting it leave. You can break and still be strong.”

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18 Sexy Movies On Netflix For Couples To Watch On Date Night

Netflix isn’t just for marathoning New York-set comic book adaptations and cherry-picking the most comforting episodes of your favorite sitcoms. The streaming service also has a nice cache of romantic movies that drift towards the sensual. So when you’re spending an evening in with your significant other, there’s no reason to look to outlets that specialize in that kind of thing. Netflix subscribers can access lots of sexy films — some unrated — with just their regular monthly membership fee. But since some of these movies are foreign-made, independent, or otherwise off-the-beaten-path, you may not come across them while casually browsing. So here’s a helpful primer of 18 dirty movies on Netflix that couples can watch on date night.

You may have seen a few of these movies already. Some were major theatrical releases; others are critically acclaimed. But I hope you’ll find some hidden treasure in this list of psychological dramas, hotter-than-average romantic comedies, and pleasantly silly erotic thrillers. With these movies, you and your partner can lose yourself in another romance for a while, experience something new together, and ideally be inspired to get creative and stay connected. You could watch these 18 Netflix movies alone, but wouldn’t it be more fun if you had some company?

1. Y Tu Mama Tambien

Childhood friends Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna broke out in this life-affirming road movie about two bros who take a trip with a mysterious older woman and end up shattering the boundaries between them.

2. Nymphomaniac, Volume 1

This Lars Von Trier sex odyssey is not for the faint of heart and probably requires a pre-game talk to make sure that both of you are on board with what you’re about to see.

3. Nymphomaniac, Volume 2

Ditto on this second installment, which continues the story of the first. The director’s work is an acquired — or, in some cases, never acquired — taste, so if you weren’t down with Volume 1, Volume 2 will just give you more of the same.

4. Last Night

Kiera Knightley and Sam Worthington have a blissful marriage in this romantic drama by writer/director Massy Tadjedin. But they learn the limits of their happiness when they each have the opportunity for an extramarital tryst. Eva Mendes and Guillaume Canet costar.

5. Clouds Of Sils Maria

Kristen Stewart is the assistant managing the charged rivalry between an aging beauty (Juliette Binoche) and the ingenue threatening to replace her (Chloe Grace Moretz). The sexual tension is palpable across all three of them.

6. Blue Is The Warmest Color

Infamous for its lengthy and realistic sex scenes, Blue Is The Warmest Color is also a touching and troubling story about all-consuming first love. Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos were both celebrated for their performances and the film won the coveted Palme d’Or at Cannes.

7. Newness

Like Crazy filmmaker, Drake Doremus brings his dreamy style to a feature about apps, hookup culture, open relationships, and the millennial pressure to want to participate in all of those things. Nichola Coult and Laia Costa lead the 2017 film.

8. Ibiza

This Netflix original comedy about three girlfriends who take a trip to Spain includes a sexy romantic subplot between Harper (Gillian Jacobs) and a hot DJ played by Richard “King in the North” Madden.

9. Love

Gaspar Noé’s erotic drama isn’t particularly positive or heartwarming, but it has sensuality in spades as one man remembers his rollercoaster relationship with the love he lost.

10. You Get Me

This trailer about badly behaving teens (including Bella Thorne and Halston Sage) features lots of partner switching, lies, and artfully constructed drama. And pools!

11. Indiscretion

This erotic TV thriller isn’t good, by any means, but sexual obsession and a forbidden tryst add some excitement. If you’re not necessarily looking for a compelling plot, this will do the trick.

12. Below Her Mouth

Despite boasting an all-female crew, this sexually-charged drama about a same-sex affair has only a 22% aggregate rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Those less-than-great reviews include descriptions like “an undeniably steamy effort” and “sexually frank,” so at least you know what you’re getting.

13. God’s Own Country

A British sheep farmer and a Romanian migrant worker find a connection against the stark backdrop of a farm in this Sundance breakout by first-time feature director Francis Lee.

14. Palm Trees In The Snow

There’s nothing like a long, weepy, bodice-ripping historical drama to put you in the mood. (If you’re still awake by the end of it.)

15. Bull Durham

Whether you’re into baseball or not, you’ll be seduced by this very sexy rom-com about a love triangle between a rookie (Tim Robbins), the catcher who’s supposed to get him up to speed (Kevin Costner), and a super-fan (Susan Sarandon)

16. Blue Valentine

While, yes, you do have to watch the relationship between Michelle Williams’ and Ryan Gosling’s characters implode, you also get to watch the start of it, when their chemistry overwhelmed and no problem seemed too big to overcome.

17. Ex Machina

The literal self-actualization of the femme A.I. played by Alicia Vikander is very sexy, as she blows past her creator’s hope for her and takes control of her life. As man-made as it is, it can’t stay that way.

18. Duck Butter

Two women played by Alia Shawkat and Laia Costa (on the list for a second time) decide to test their instant chemistry by having sex every hour, on the hour, for a full day. Will it push their relationship to the next level, the way they hope?

And that’s your next 18 date nights planned. The couple that streams together stays together.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Celebrities You Could Actually Meet on Tinder

When Tinder appeared in app stores across the world in 2013, everyone freaked out about the possibilities. We all remember where we were when we got our first Tinder match, it was like the moon landing for Millennials. In the early days, the only problem with Tinder was that you only found regular people while you were swiping away. That makes sense if you live in Oklahoma or whatever, but what if you happened to be in Los Angeles or New York? Shouldn’t you happen across Ryan Gosling or Madonna once in a while? Well after some snooping, we’ve put together what may be our most sought-after list ever: a collection of celebrities who use Tinder.

There are a bunch of reasons why a star might want to join Tinder. Maybe they feel the aching loneliness that overtakes all of us at night when we’re alone in our beds. Or maybe they have a new product they want to promote and think that chatting with normal folks will take their grassroots marketing to the next level. Or maybe they just feel like connecting with the little people. Whatever the reason for their Tindering, we’re happy to have these celebrities on Tinder. Hopefully, if you’re lucky, one day your celebrity dream crush will end up swiping right on you.

Vote on which celebrity you’d most like to find on Tinder, and if you’ve run into someone from the silver screen on your iPhone – tell us about it in the comments.

11,068 VOTES

Hilary Duff

Photo:  Jason Meritt/Getty Images

When her first album in however many years was about to drop, the singer/actress took to Tinder to promote her new single meet some interesting people!

21,344 VOTES

Katy Perry

Photo: via Imgur

After breaking up with John Mayer (again), Katy Perry took to Tinder to meet a new ridiculously handsome and skinny boyfriend.

3923 VOTES

Leonardo DiCaprio

Photo: via Wikimedia Commons

Imagine coming across the King of the World on Tinder. What do you even ask him? What was it like to date Rihanna? What does Martin Scorsese smell like? Real talk, we’d swipe left.

41,053 VOTES

Ronda Rousey

Photo:  Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

In an interview with USA Today, the toughest nerd on the planet said that it’s hard for her to meet people on Tinder, even though her friends seem to be having plenty of luck. Thank goodness she met Turtle. 

5872 VOTES

40 people have voted onBritney Spears

Photo: via Twitter

When she appeared on Jimmy Fallon in 2014, the boyish host convinced Ms. Spears to join the dating app. But before you get your hopes up, it looks like she’s just using it to shill her perfume.

6599 VOTES

13 people have voted on Dave Franco

Photo: via Imgur

Even though he feigned ignorance of the dating app when he joined with Conan O’Brien for a hilarious bit on the host’s show, we’re pretty sure Dave was using Tinder before he was going by “Jangus Roundstone.”

7754 VOTES

22 people have voted on Lindsay Lohan

Photo: s_bukley/Shutterstock

We knew Lilo was a handful, but now she’s ragging on her baby bro’s Tinder use. But let’s be real, if we posted a screenshot of every friend/family member that we came across on Tinder, we’d never stop posting.

8588 VOTES

49 people have voted on Jamie Anderson

Photo: via Wikimedia

We’ve heard rumors that the Olympic Village is full of athletes with raging hormones, so it makes sense that Tinder was a big part of the Sochi games. It’s a no brainer that U.S. snowboarder Jamie Anderson admitted that using Tinder in the village was “next level” during the Winter Olympics.

9403 VOTES

3 people have voted on Nana Meriwether

Photo: via Wikimedia

Former Miss USA, Nana Meriweather has never hidden the fact that she’s a fan of online dating. The beauty queen revealed that she was told by a friend that she should join the dating revolution and she even said, “It’s funny — the guys I’ve said yes to have all been like: ‘Are you real?’ I’m like: ‘Yeah, of course.’ Even pageant-title-holders get lonely.”

10447 VOTES

35 people have voted on Luke Hemmings

Photo: via Imgur

Those 5SOS guys sure love getting on Tinder. Maybe they get bored counting money. Our favorite thing about this celeb’s Tinder profile is how upset fans are that an 18-year-old rock star might want to have a random hook up. 

11510 VOTES

40 people have voted onLily Allen

Photo: via Wikimedia

Hey! Remember Lily Allen? The Smile singer fueled break up rumors by taking to Twitter to tell everyone that she was signing up on Tinder. Cut to a million dudes in London also downloading the app.

12618 VOTES

37 people have voted on Chelsea Handler

Photo: Tibrina Hobson/Contributor/Getty Images Entertainment

Handler has been pretty outspoken about her love of Tinder, she’s even talked about enjoying “anonymous, random men.” The gauntlet has been thrown, gentlemen. 

13302 VOTES

29 people have voted on Ryan Lochte

Photo: jdlasica/flickr/CC-BY-NC 2.0

On his way to Rio for the 2016 Summer Olympics, gold medalist swimmer Ryan Lochte admitted that he joined Tinder after first hearing about the dating at app after the 2014 Games in Sochi. “I heard it took off in Sochi [at the 2014 Winter Olympics] and then people were talking about it and I was like, ‘Let me try this,'” he told Cosmopolitan. “So I got on it and I’ve been matching up with a bunch of gorgeous women who are smart, they have professional jobs and everything. I’m like, ‘Wow, this is perfect.’ So I’ve been on Tinder lately. So far I haven’t had any dates or anything. I’ve just been talking with a couple [women].”

14337 VOTES

46 people have voted onRene Swette

Photo: via Twitter

Austrian hockey goalie Rene Swette was found on Tinder during the Winter Olympics in Sochi. Swette’s job is to stop people from scoring, hopefully, he didn’t meet any Tinder goalies on his Sochi adventure.

15367 VOTES

35 people have voted on Andy Cohen

Photo: via Pinterest

This Bravo talking head isn’t above using Tinder. He told Page 6, “You know … Where am I going to meet an architect who lives in Brooklyn besides Tinder at this point?” he said. “It’s the modern-day singles bar.”

16352 VOTES

14 people have voted on Conan O’Brien

Photo: via Reddit

Conan O’Brien is also ranked #86 of 409 on The Funniest Stand Up Comedians of All Time

Or should we say…Chip Whitley? Mr. Cone-brien joined Tinder while palling around with Dave Franco and they ended up matching with the same woman. Honestly, we’d rather match with Conan.

17308 VOTES

8 people have voted on Ronnie Radke

Photo: via Wikimedia

Even world class scum bags guys that sing for terrible metalXcore bands need to find love/a one night stand every once in a while. 

18256 VOTES

25 people have voted on Ben Flajnik

Photo: via Reddit

Former star of The Bachelor, Ben Flajnik was caught on Tinder after his relationship with fiancée Courtney Robertson fizzled. Thankfully a fan took a screenshot of his profile so we could pretend that we were playing The Bachelor home game. 

19285 VOTES

26 people have voted on Eric Andre

Photo: via Twitter

The outrageously funny, sometimes anti-comedy comedian and talk show host Eric Andre revealed on Conan O’Brien that he was Tinder. But he admitted that he was having trouble meeting people. We wonder why.

20305 VOTES

8 people have voted on Michael Clifford

Photo: via Reddit

The purple-haired and perpetually tongue-wagging guitarist from Five Seconds Of Summer has been spotted on Tinder while on tour. Guess he didn’t have anything better to do while uh…(insert 5SOS lyrics here)

21279 VOTES

6 people have voted on Eric Stonestreet

Photo: via Pinterest

In a 2014 interview with Howard Stern, the Modern Family star admitted to using Tinder to hook up with girls. He even told the long-running radio show host that he changed his profile depending on what town he was in

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Tales of Rock: 20 Young, Beautiful, And Successful Daughters Of Rockstars

Bono’s daughter Eve Hewson admits she “can’t sing a note.” 

Vivien Killilea/Getty

Some of the sweetest rock ballads were inspired by daddy’s girls: Billy Joel’s “Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel),” Bruce Springsteen’s “When You Need Me,” Phil Collins’ “You’ll Be In My Heart,” and other emotional tracks you’d find on a father-daughter dance compilation album.Even Bono — who came under fire recently when Apple installed the new U2 album on iTunes users’ devices without asking — covered Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” at his daughter Eve’s 21st birthday party.

From models and DJs to actors and musicians, meet the new crop of muses of the most celebrated rock stars.

Alexa Ray Joel, 28, is the singer-daughter of Billy Joel.

Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

Alexa Ray released an EP, “Sketches,” in 2006 and was the face of Prell hair care, which previously employed her supermodel mother, Christie Brinkley, as its spokeswoman. Earlier this year, after her first sold-out performance at the Carlyle in New York, rumors swirled that Alexa Ray had undergone plastic surgery (again).

Jemima Kirke, 29, and Lola Kirke, 23, are the actress-daughters of Free and Bad Company’s Simon Kirke.

Getty

British-born Jemima was an artist before close friend Lena Dunham persuaded her to audition for the role of free-spirit Jessa in HBO’s “Girls.” She is the older sister of Lola, who is having a breakout moment of her own after landing a New York Times profile and a small role in “Gone Girl.”

Jessica Rae Springsteen, 22, is the horseback-riding daughter of Bruce Springsteen.

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Jessica Rae is a senior at Duke University and a champion horseback rider, placing first in her jumping division at the 2013 FTI Consulting Winter Equestrian Festival. Two years ago, she just narrowly missed out on joining the USA Olympic team.

Georgia May Jagger, 22, is the model daughter of The Rolling Stones’ Mick Jagger.

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Georgia May flashed her father’s famous toothy grin as a brand ambassador for Rimmel London and Sunglass Hut and in the pages of international “Vogue.” She recently revealed in an interview with the British magazine Grazia that her model-mother, Jerry Hall, after a couple glasses of wine, would teach her children how to work the catwalk.

Lily Collins, 25, is the actress-daughter of Phil Collins.

Todd Williamson/Getty Images

This red-lipped beauty splashed onto the big screen as Snow White in “Mirror Mirror” and in “The Blind Side.” Her father composed “You’ll Be In My Heart” on the “Tarzan” soundtrack just for his little girl.

Zoë Kravitz, 25, is the actress-daughter of Lenny Kravitz.

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Zoë appeared in “After Earth” and “X Men: First Class.” Last year, she added Swarovski jewelry designer to her résumé, and she will appear in the star-studded “Mad Max: Fury Road” reboot next year.

Eve Hewson, 23, is the actress-daughter of U2’s Bono.

Vivien Killilea/Getty

This Dubliner currently stars in the TV show “The Knick,” a period drama set in a turn-of-the-century New York City hospital. You won’t hear her singing anytime soon though; she told the Toronto Sun in an interview that she “can’t hit a note.”

Daisy Lowe, 25, is the model-daughter of Bush’s Gavin Rossdale.

John Phillips/Getty

London socialite and model Daisy is the product of a one-night stand between Pearl Lowe and Gwen Stefani’s husband, Rossdale, who didn’t know he was Daisy’s father until she was 14.

Chelsea Tyler, 24, is the daughter of Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler.

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

Chelsea sports her dad’s lippy pout in modeling campaigns for Andy Hilfiger and Alice + Olivia, and formed a bluesy band badbad, with her newly minted fiance Jon Foster in 2011.

Kat Wiedenmann, 24 is the singer, composer and producer – Daughter of Union Jacks guitarist, Chaz.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=kat+wiedenmann

Kelly Osbourne, 29, is the TV personality-daughter of Black Sabbath’s Ozzy Osbourne.

Frazer Harrison/Getty

Kelly prosecutes the worst-dressed as a co-host on E!’s “Fashion Police” and recently launched her debut clothing line Chapter One. She and her family starred in MTV’s reality show “The Osbournes” from 2002 to 2005.

Coco Sumner, 24, is the singer-daughter of The Police’s Sting.

Francois Durand/Getty Images

Eliot Paulina Sumner, who goes by her stage name “Coco,” is the lead singer of the indie-rock band I Blame Coco. After touring the UK with La Roux, Coco retreated from the spotlight to work on her sophomore album.

Riley Keough, 24, is the model-actress granddaughter of Elvis Presley and daughter of Lisa Marie Presley.

Katy Winn/AP

She appeared in the male stripper film “Magic Mike” as the cotton-candy-haired drug addict with a pet teacup pig. Next up, she appears in the star-studded film “Yellow” and the “Mad Max” reboot alongside Mel Gibson, Charlize Theron, and Tom Hardy. Get to know more about her famous history here.

Erin Lucas, 29, is the model daughter of AC/DC’s Cliff Williams.

Instagram/@erin_lucas

Erin appeared in MTV’s “Hills” reality spinoff “The City,” posed for “Maxim,” and owns a dog from the same litter as friend Miley Cyrus‘ pooch.

Lara Johnston, 23, is the singer daughter of The Doobie Brothers’ Tom Johnston.

Facebook/LaraJohnstonSings

Lara was a competitor on MTV’s “Rock the Cradle,” a singing competition for rock star offspring, and made her first public performance at the age of 2, singing dad’s “Listen to the Music.”

Amber Le Bon, 25, is the model-daughter of Duran Duran’s Simon Le Bon.

Luke MacGregor/Reuters

After starring in Forever 21 fashion campaigns, Amber began dividing her time between the runway and DJ booth. She spins for exclusive fashion parties and product launches.

Frances Bean Cobain, 22, is the daughter of Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain.

Twitter/@alka_seltzer666

Frances Bean Cobain inherited her wild streak from parents Cobain and Courtney Love: slamming Kendall Kardashian on Twitter, hosting a suicide-themed 16th birthday party, and creating provocative and crude art.

Sophie Simmons, 22, is the model-daughter of Kiss’ Gene Simmons.

Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

Sophie starred in the A&E reality show centered on her family, “Gene Simmons Family Jewels.” The aspiring singer recently modeled in her underwear for Galore magazine, sans make-up and sans retouching.

Theodora, 29, and Alexandra Richards, 28, are the model-daughters of the Rolling Stones’ Keith Richards.

Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

Alexandra DJs at tons of lavish fashion and press events, while her older sis, Theodora, has modeled on many magazine covers, for Tommy Hilfiger and other high-fashion brands.

Minka Kelly, 34, is the actress-daughter of Aerosmith’s Rick Dufay.

Robin Marchant/Getty

Minka starred in ABC’s short-lived “Charlie’s Angels” reboot, and she won over hearts in recurring roles on “Friday Night Lights,” “Parenthood,” and “Almost Human.”

For the record, Rick Dufay played on one Aerosmith album, Rock In A Hard Place.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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