Phicklephilly – Double Life

“The seed is gold. The price of gold goes up in a crisis.”

If you’ve been reading this blog, you know I’ve been in a relationship for quite some time.  This is a subject I can only discuss with my emotionally and morally bankrupt friend johnny R or my friend Robert who will understand. I can’t go to Church with this because he can’t even manage his own shit and has no clue as to how to navigate his own life, let alone the world of romance and women. I hope by the time you read this, he’s sorted out his life and moved forward. (See:Church – Brand Ambassador)

So I’m going to address the 600 pound gorilla sitting in the room we call phicklephilly.

When you have lived the life I have, my story isn’t for everybody. I hope you know what I mean. You have to compartmentalize your life. There are those in your life that can embrace your darkness and those that admire it but never get to be on the show.

Phickle is in a pickle. The most glorious pickle that men would pay money to be in. I’m in love with two women. For the first time in my life this has happened.

I usually meet a girl. Start dating her. If things get serious and we’re compatible, that leads to love and off we go. She’s the only woman in my life. I’m getting older, and I figured the women I would date would get older and more scarce. It’s been just the opposite. I’ve done better in my late forties and fifties than I did in my mid twenties to mid forties. (I was married for 8 years from 28 to 36)

I’m a one woman man. Through and through. What has happened with the last three women in my life is this: They have all been younger than me. So we’re always in different places in our lives. (My mistake, but I don’t chase them, it just happens) We go out for a while, then we’re in a relationship, and they bring up that they may want to get married and have kids. That’s when it ends. They love me, but they know I’ve already been married, divorced back in 2001, have my daughter Lorelei, and paid out over $125,000 in child support.

I’m not risking that again. If I were to marry again, (Which I highly doubt) It would have to be clear that we’re not having kids. If that happened and I fucked it up, my Social Security payments would be going to my ex-wife. So no go.

But back to my current dilemma.

I’m really falling for this lady. I’m happy in my current relationship, but I met Ambria and we’re a good match. I haven’t slept with her yet, but I know it’s inevitable. I don’t even know why I did it. I’m not unfaithful. I’m happy with my current girl. But then it comes to me.

I did it because I could.

(Just like in the film Jurassic Park. Ian Malcom says: “You had the technology that you could re-create dinosaurs, but you never gave any thought to SHOULD you create dinosaurs?”)

My current girlfriend Cherie lives far away out in Pottstown and Ambria lives out in East Falls, just outside the city. But neither of them really come into the city. Current girlfriend is a student at Temple. That’s in North Philly. She has no reason to come into center city. She works at CHOP but not at the one here in the city, she works at a branch of Children’s Hospital out by where she lives.

Ambria works as a Nurse Practitioner up in Kensington. That might as well be in another city. (And a shitty one at that.)

Am I really a two timing, cheating, bastard? Technically, yes. But if I look at this in an open-minded adult way I think I can justify my actions.

My current girlfriend Cherie works a lot of hours and has a 6-year-old son to raise. She’s also in school. After she graduates, it’s off to medical school. I see her once or twice a month for a few hours or a single overnight. When we have time, we go out and do something, then eat and then back to the batcave for sex and sleep. The next morning I take her to breakfast, and then put her on a train back to Pottstown. Sometimes it’s just back to the batcave for sex, sleep and breakfast. Her life is that busy and her time is that limited.

At my age, I’m fine with it. I’m just happy to be getting laid at all. But that’s pretty much my life with my girlfriend. She’s great. She’s smart, she’s funny, and she’s a nymphomaniac. I love being with her and I can really feel how much she loves me even though our time together is short.

I also like my time alone, with my friends and my work and business. I love women. I just don’t want to spend a bunch of time with them. I like a little quality time and some distance. I need her to have her own life, friends, work and priorities. I need to be a part of her life but certainly not the focus. I should never have to “put my time in” like I did with insecure Annabelle (See: Annabelle – 2013 to 2014 – Nice to Meet You) so she doesn’t feel neglected.

I’m just getting started with Ambria and I certainly didn’t think this would happen. I think about them both. I’m happy with them both. Like I said, I’ve never been in this situation before, where there just happens to be two great women in my life and I like them both for different reasons, but can’t just choose one and jettison the other. Why would I do that? I don’t want anyone to get hurt. And no one has to. For right now I want them both. I’ll see Cherie when it’s convenient for her on the weekends that she can get some free time, and see Ambria once or twice a week.

This is pure phicklephilly.

If you look at the actual time spent with these girls, mathematically it’s like only having one girlfriend that you see only part of the time. There’s no demands. No perfunctory chores or doing shit you don’t want to do. These two relationships read like my blog posts about my ex-girlfriend, Michelle. (See: Michelle – 2007 to Present – Nice to Meet You) What I mean by that is this: My relationship with Michelle was as complex as any relationship where you live someone you love. But these two relationships, because of the distance and limited amount of time spent with them both, it’s like the Michelle blog. Simply our Greatest Hits. When I’m with each girl, it’s just the best of Phicklephilly.

I get to be in a relationship with two great girls that I don’t see all the time, and it’s all the fun stuff. It’s all the things that keep a relationship fun. Now granted, I know it can’t always be this way. Relationships always progress and are usually pushed forward by the woman. But in this case I may have dodged that bullet, because Cherie doesn’t want any more kids, and Ambria told me she is unable physically to have children. So, win, win!

Of course there’s the moral dilemma. But I’m not feeling any guilt at this point. I’m treating them both well and giving them my full attention when they’re with me, and nothing’s changed. I’ve simply added another person into my life with whom I enjoy their company.

I think this may have risen from Cheri’s extreme limited availability. When she’s here it’s like I run a sexual marathon for 12 hours and then the whole amusement park shuts down for three weeks to a month and goes dark. Then the process starts all over again weeks later. We text and all, so there’s always a connection, and I’m fine with that. But there are long periods when baby is just MIA.

It’s rare for a man to find not one, but two women with which he’s compatible. Let alone at the same time. I like this arrangement that I’ve created and for now it’s working. I’m going to enjoy this wonderful opportunity as long as possible and do everything to be discreet and keep the girls happy and satisfied.

You know what would be insane? Cherie is bi-sexual, and open to a threesome with another girl. Ambria told me that about 10 years ago she went through a faze where she was into girls.

You don’t think I could…?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8m & 12pm am EST.

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The Most Important Relationship Skill: Do You Have It?

The Most Important Relationship Skill: Do You Have It?

 

I found this article the other day and thought I’d share it here.

Enjoy!

For years I prided myself on being an excellent communicator. I built a previous career on an ability to express my feelings and be vulnerable with the people around me. While I was gaining recognition in the field for my relational art projects, my most intimate relationships were a source of tremendous confusion and pain. I spent year after year in couples therapy with different boyfriends trying to deepen our connection. Every few years a relationship would head south and I’d find myself scratching my head wondering what went wrong. Even after all of the therapy I was unable to see that my communication skills were seriously underdeveloped.

And then something shifted on my 29th birthday.

While on a silent meditation retreat in the deep woods of Oregon, everything came crashing down.

I had been practicing meditation for years, but I had never had a melt down like this before. I felt like a crazy person. I cried for what felt like hours, feeling everything I had been holding back in my relationship with my boyfriend. I knew deep down I was not communicating with him well and I saw how much fear was holding me back from truly being present.

I cried for what felt like hours, feeling everything I had been holding back in my relationship.

After hours of sobbing for all of the regrets I had about not being able to really show up for our relationships, I decided it was finally time to change.

And then I let it all go.

For the first time in years I felt light and open to transforming our partnership. I was ready to get back to Portland and finally learn how to communicate more effectively with my then boyfriend.

Even after diving right back into therapy, we didn’t last. We couldn’t. The road was just too bumpy. However, the beauty of our separation was that I was able to show up and be the woman who I could be at work and with girlfriends but was too afraid to be with him.

One of the main takeaways from that relationship was that I needed a major overhaul in my listening skills. It’s true that I was great at expressing my feelings and articulating my thoughts. But I was also a terrible listener. Every therapist I saw suggested a number of tools to help me learn how to listen well, but until the meditation retreat I was unwilling to put them into practice. I thought for years that I had listened well enough.

I was great at expressing my feelings and articulating my thoughts. But I was also a terrible listener.

Today, my current boyfriend and I are discussing getting married in the future. For a woman who was certain she would never settle down, this is a major development. It speaks volumes about the amount of energy I have put into learning how to communicate with my boyfriend. Really listening to each other has been at the center of our relationship.

When we learn how to truly listen to our partners and support them with our undivided attention, it builds lasting intimacy. This bond helps us withstand life’s ups and downs. True intimacy is based on understanding and creating a space where both parties are acknowledged and heard.

Over the years many friends and clients have asked me: What is the most important aspect of communication? I always say learning how to listen well. So, I’ve pulled together an outline that walks you through the stages of listening during a conversation with your partner. These are the tools that have supported us and will hopefully help you become a better listener too.

Do you really listen?

It’s natural during a conversation to tune in and out of what the other person is saying. We do it all day long. Most of us have a tendency to be a bit preoccupied with our own thoughts much of the time. This can be especially true if the conversation is emotionally charged. Over time, this lack of being fully present can disrupt genuine communication and cause harm to relationships.

Think about a time you tried to confide in someone and they were distracted or not really paying attention.

-How did that make you feel?

-Were you shut down emotionally afterwards or leave the conversation feeling badly about yourself?

-Did you want to talk to them in the future about something close to your heart?

Now think about a time when your partner wanted to share something important with you.

-Were you listening with an open mind or were you thinking about how you were going to respond?

-Was it challenging for you to sit still and give them your undivided attention?

-When the conversation ended did you feel closer to your partner and grateful they chose to share?

We’ve all been the person who wasn’t heard and the one who didn’t listen. Learning how to pay attention to our partners and listen with a desire to support and understand them is the glue that holds relationships together. Here are some tips for becoming a better listener.

Pay attention

Are you able to listen while distracted? Chances are, probably not very well. One of the most genuine ways to show that you are invested in your partner is to give them your undivided attention as often as possible. It’s important to make listening to your partner a priority if you want the relationship to last. Take a little time to set down your phone, close your laptop screen, and look them in the eyes when they are talking. These simple suggestions will improve the way you communicate quickly and your partner will feel heard and valued.

Don’t interrupt

When you allow your partner to talk without commenting or interrupting, it gives them permission to fully express themselves. Sometimes it can take folks a while to put their words together, especially if you’re having a difficult conversation. Try your best to sit and listen without interjecting. It’s natural to want to help and offer advice, especially when someone is having a hard time. If it’s difficult for you not to talk, try using non-verbal cues to let the person know you are listening.

Notice body language

While your partner is speaking, notice their facial expressions and gestures. Most of our communication happens through our body, not our verbal language. Watch your partner, and soak in as much information as you can about how they are feeling. These clues are going to give you a great deal of insight into how they communicate, ultimately building intimacy.

Get clear

When your partner has finished speaking, try paraphrasing what they said and repeat it back to them. This simple action shows you were listening. It also helps ensure there aren’t misunderstandings. If you are unsure about something, ask a clarifying question to understand your partner in a deeper way. Remember, this is about listening to your partner, not assuming you know what they mean.

Offer support

Lastly, ask them what they need from you. This is huge! Sometimes people want advice or an opinion, other times they just want to be heard and need you to be a sounding board. Let your partner decide what they need even when you think you know best! This is all part of building intimacy and really seeing who your partner is.

The key to listening well is being fully present. Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh often says, “The greatest gift we can offer someone is our true presence.” Cultivating loving relationships begins with opening our hearts, minds, and ears to the person we have chosen to be with. Developing your listening techniques will be only help in all of your relationships moving forward.

If you’re ready for a challenge this week, experiment with a few of my tips for improving your listening abilities. Remember, learning a new set of skills takes commitment and practice. It’s not about doing it perfectly; it’s about showing up and being willing to improve. Start small and build from there—you will be amazed at the results!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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The Best Marriage Advice From A Divorced Man

Given that we live in a time when only half of marriages manage to pass the test of time, good marriage advice is more than necessary.

While following marriage advice from a person who failed at it seems counterintuitive, this couldn’t be further from the truth. It is honest and practical advice, emphasizing the things that this man learned from his first marriage.

Soon after his divorce became official, Gerald Rogers, author and motivational speaker, shared a wedding day photo and a message about what he has learned about keeping a marriage happy.

“Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman who I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had… “

Here are some of his tips on how to keep your marriage happy and healthy:

1. Never stop courting

Never take your woman for granted! Never stop courting and dating, because she chose you and doesn’t deserve you to get lazy in your love.

2. Protect your own heart

Love yourself because you need to protect your own heart just as you are committed to being a protector of her heart. There is a special place in your heart for your wife, so you should keep it and refuse anyone else to enter there.

3. Fall in love over and over and over again

Changes will come, and in that you need to re-choose each other. If you don’t take care of her and show her that you are in love with her as the very first day, she might give her heart to someone else.

4. Always see the best in her

Focus on the good things about her; the things you love. If you focus on those that bug you, you will only see reasons to be bugged.

5. It`s not your job to change her or fix her

Your job is to love her as she is, rather than trying to change her.

6. Take full accountability for your own emotions

It is your own responsibility to find your happiness, and that joy will spill over you relationship and your love. You need to understand that it is not your wife`s job to make you sad or happy. It is up to you!

7. NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU

Again, your emotions are your responsibility. When you heal yourself, you will not be triggered by her anymore.

8. Allow your woman to JUST BE

When she is upset or depressed, it is not your job to fix it, but to hold her and let her know that everything will be okay. Don’t run away when she is down! Stay present and listen!

9. BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously

Laugh and make her laugh!

10. Fill her soul everyday

Make her feel cherished and teach her to love herself. Make it a priority to make her feel like a princess.

11. Be present

Give her all the time and attention she needs.

12. BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY

To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence.

13. Don’t be an idiot

Try to make as fewer mistakes as possible.

14. Give her space

Give her the space she needs, so that she doesn’t feel suffocated.

15. Be vulnerable

Being vulnerable is completely fine.

16. Be fully transparent

You must share everything! Drop that mask…

17. Never stop growing together

Find common goals and visions to work towards.

18. Don’t worry about money

It never helps when partners fight over money.

19. FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past

Don’t let the past affect your future. Forgiveness is the freedom.

20. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE

In fact, this is the only advice you need!

 

Thanks. I hope this was helpful. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this piece.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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5 Ways to Show Your Partner You Care — Just by Being Mindful

Mindfulness is a practice that has been used for thousands of years to reduce stress and increase brainpower. But you can even use mindfulness to improve your relationships.

Just think, if you were to call your spouse right now and ask them, “On a scale of 1-10, how loved do you feel by me today?”Would they say 10? Probably not. But that’s no reason to worry. There are many different ways that you can show your partner how much you care without spending a lot of money or disrupting your work schedule.

Mindfulness is a simple technique shown in countless clinical trials as an effective way to boost overall health and drop stress levels. It has even been shown to change your brain! So, how can mindfulness help your relationship?

5 Ways to Use Mindfulness to Show Your Partner You Care

  1. Take a Breath. If you and your partner are like most couples, you disagree at times. You argue and sometimes (ok, most of the time) you hurt each other’s feelings. That is completely expected. However, over time, it can lead to resentment, hostility and even stonewalling. Practice mindfulness as a way to show your partner you care any time you feel frustrated with them. In that moment, just before you express your annoyance STOP. Take a deep breath in through the nose for 5 seconds, (1-2-3-4-5). Then, release the breath for 5 seconds out of your mouth (1-2-3-4-5) and as you do, change your reaction. Opt instead to just listen to your partner and let the argument pass if you are able to. That’s how you can mindfully avoid conflict and show them you care.
  2. Give a Compliment. When you get the chance, it is ideal to compliment your partner in order to support their healthy self-esteem. However, if you are not aware of the opportunities you may not take advantage of them. Practice mindfulness by focusing your attention on your mate, and when you can compliment them. Look for chances to tell them about their great work, good looks, loving heart and any other positive attribute. The rest of the world will do its job of focusing on your partner’s flaws — so, show them you love them by doing just the opposite.
  3. Silence Their Critic. One of the hardest parts about being human is the critic inside our own minds. That inner voice may say things like, “You’re not attractive,” “You don’t make enough money,” or “You’re fat.” But as a spouse or romantic partner, you can use your mindfulness to help silence that critical voice inside their head. Become more aware of moments when your mate may be paying attention to that “critic” with a loving touch during a stressful moment or a supportive comment when you know they are struggling. That’s all it takes to show them you see them and that you care.
  4. Avoid Triggers. In any relationship there are times when your personality simply clashes with the other person. This is common in romantic relationships just as much as any other. However, the special bond between romantic partners is one that should be honored with peaceful communication. Show your partner that you care by being mindful of their personal triggers. This may include some for anger, sadness, irritation, self-consciousness and other painful emotions. So, use your mindfulness to AVOID those triggers — at all costs! It may just save your relationship.
  5. Invite Them. Mindfulness can happen any time during your day or night and your partner doesn’t need to know you’re practicing a technique. But you can also ask them to join in with you during a mindfulness practice by trying something more engaging like the mind/body mindful practice of yoga, or even a simple breathing exercise. Inviting your partner into your mindfulness practice is a great way to show them you care and that you want them to also be more present in your relationship. This can help you to also cultivate a greater sense of peace between you.

Talking to a Relationship Counselor about Your Spouse

Your relationship might be one of the most important things in your life. And if you truly value it, you will put the relationship with your spouse at the top of your priority list. Consider talking to a relationship counselor about your struggles or how to approach communicating better by applying mindfulness to your relationship. In clinical studies, practicing mindfulness within romantic relationships was shown to not only help with satisfaction, but also reduce emotional stress, resolve conflicts and encourage a positive perception of the relationship. So, start with these 5 tips to be more mindful with your spouse. Then, also consider talking to your partner about including a counselor in your relationship to further develop your connection together.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Find Out How Often You Should Communicate to your Partner while Dating

How frequent should communication be with one’s significant other?

Find out how often you should communicate to your partner while dating

How frequent should communication be with one’s significant other? Should you speak with them everyday? Would it be better if it was done more than once in a day or is there a more relaxed rule in deciding what is ideal in situations as this?

To speak of communication, or any other thing in a relationship, it is important to remember yet again that what works for one does not work for all, and that every different relationship is special and distinct in its working.

Take for example a long distance relationship; communication in such would logically need to be daily, and in as many intimate manners as possible because of the distance barrier and the need to stay linked in spite of distance. So one would expect a couple in this instance to be on phone calls, video calls, voice notes and every other type.

That kind of relationship necessitates such regular communication, right?

Not exactly.

We’re talking about relationships here: logic does not always apply.

And in the instance where both partners are cool and in their logic, then it’s all fine and good!

So as for communication or any other relationship thing for that matter, whatever works for you and your partner is what you should stick to.

As a general rule though, consensus seems to sort of stipulates that you reach out to your partner daily, no matter how brief it may be. This is based on the belief that speaking with each other helps preserve the bond between you. That line of thought is actually has merits,

That being said, it’s also OK fine to be unconventional and to do your thing how you like and how you deem fit. You don’t have to contact your partner everyday if you both do not subscribe to that life.

The caveat here, and a very humongous one it is, being that you should look for someone who has no qualms with this.

If you are both cool with this and it won’t cause rifts, you are in a good place. It is you and her after all, and outside rules do not apply except you decide to adopt them.

To the question of how frequently you should communicate with your partner, consensus says daily but if you and your partner say some more relaxed routine is what suits you and paves way to the happiness you’ve always sought, then you’d be doing just as great, too.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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6 Differences Between A Man Who Loves You And A Man Who Is Poisoning Your Life

6 Differences Between A Man Who Loves You And A Man Who Is Poisoning Your Life

Real love is very hard to find. It is even harder to know whether or not it is real when you deal with mixed feelings. But, deep down we all have that voice in the back of our head that will not shut up. Have you ever asked yourself whether or not the man you are with is there for the right reasons? In this article, we will give you the six differences between a man who loves you and one who is poisoning your relationship and wasting your time.

Serious vs. Interested

A man who is interested in you will talk to you when the times are convenient for him. This should be expected, if the relationship is new. But, if you two have been official for a while and he still only seems to talk when it is good for him, then it is obvious that he is not in love. You will know that he is the right man, when you take a step back and analyze your relationship, your interactions and your overall level of happiness.

Respectful vs. Tolerant

The real man, the man who loves you, will respect you and appreciate you for your strong opinions. But, on the other hand, there are men who will tell you that you are wrong or agree to let you think what you want, but without believing that your opinion is important as theirs.

Encouraging vs. Controlling

A man who loves a woman will encourage her to follow new opportunities and experiences. The real man may introduce her to a lot of new things, but the most important is that he will never force her into something she is not comfortable with.

Honest vs. Cruel

Men who love women will tell them what they need to hear. For example, if you ask him how you look in a pair of jeans and he tells you that you should change, that does not mean he is evil. He is just honest. But, if a man who tells you to lose weight, he insults the things you like, or your style. You should know that he does it because he does not respect you and knows that if he is talking to you like that, he can get away

Affectionate vs. Clingy

Do you want a man who will text, call and want to be with you 24/7? Some women think that this sounds great, but they should think better of this, because constantly checking up on you and needing the reassurance of their place in your life, indicates that he is in this more for himself than for you. A man who loves you will certainly let it show both emotionally and physically. A clingy man has emotional problems and wants to talk to you so he feels validated, not so you feel good

Protective vs. Possessive

It is natural to protect something you care about. In a case he keeps you in close sight and his arm around your shoulders while you two are out at the club, that is great. But, if he does not let you go anywhere alone or starts fights with men who try to talk to you, then he is possessive.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Sign inSign up 10 True Signs That Your Man Has Stopped Loving You

According to Steve Harvey, the author of the popular novel Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, “A man’s love is expressed in three forms: he declares his rights for you in public, protects, and takes care of you.” However, a part of this saying can be doubted because, in our time, not all women need to be provided for or protected by men. What they definitely need is love. Unfortunately, sometimes women tend to see love when it’s not really there.

Sometimes a woman can feel that something is wrong without having to hear it from her partner. We gathered a list of 10 signs that a man’s strong feelings of love and adoration have faded. We hope that you won’t see these signs from your man, but it is important to know what to look out for.

Criticism of appearance

10 True Signs That Your Man Has Stopped Loving You

Omar Khayyam said, “A person will like everything, even the flaws, of their beloved, but will be annoyed at the perfection of those whom he does not love.” For a truly loving man, you are always beautiful, even with messy hair and even in your oversized nightgown. He will not notice that you have gained a couple of extra pounds after the winter holidays if you do not say it yourself. But if your man constantly tells you to go to the gym or hints that you need plastic surgery, do not rush to indulge him. It is most likely that it’s not your appearance that doesn’t suit him but you yourself. And even if you lose weight, he will find other faults in you.

Discussing your shortcomings with friends

10 True Signs That Your Man Has Stopped Loving You

Women tend to discuss problems in relationships or their partner’s shortcomings with their friends, while men try to keep everything unspoken. No one is perfect but truly loving people focus on the advantages of the partner instead of focusing on the flaws.

If your partner allows himself to publicly humiliate you and laughs at your failures, do not expect anything good from such a relationship. Such a partner doesn’t respect you, and a strong and reliable union is impossible without respect. By criticizing you with other people, he unconsciously tries to prove to others (and himself) that it’s your fault that he stopped loving you.

His attitude toward your habits

10 True Signs That Your Man Has Stopped Loving You

Women like to complain about men’s socks scattered around the house but they also sometimes have annoying or strange habits. We like to occupy the bathroom for 2 hours and chat with our girlfriends as much as possible, fill the wardrobe with unnecessary stuff, eat from our boyfriend’s plate, or keep singing the same song all day long. Loving men, as a rule, endure all this and remain silent or react with humor. If your man is constantly scrutinizing every little thing you do and making negative comments about your behavior, it means that the only feeling he has left is irritation instead of love.

Attentiveness to your stories

10 True Signs That Your Man Has Stopped Loving You

Scientists have proved that a man is able to listen to a woman attentively for only 6 minutes. That’s why, ladies, the next time you plan to have a conversation with your beloved, keep it short. The topics on which it is very difficult for a man to concentrate are unfamiliar people, celebrities, shopping, fashion, and diets. If possible, it’s best to discuss these types of things with your friends.

And yet, if a man sees that something is very important to you, he will make an effort to listen to you attentively, even if this topic is completely uninteresting to him. When he loves you, he won’t leave you without attention. But if he keeps changing the topic or runs away using different excuses whenever you try to talk, most likely, your worries do not bother him. Accordingly, he is not going to participate in the resolution of any issues that may come up during the relationship.

His attitude toward your emotions

10 True Signs That Your Man Has Stopped Loving You

Men absolutely cannot stand women’s tears. And recently, a scientific explanation has been found: it turns out that female tears contain special volatile substances that lower the level of testosterone in the blood of men which leads to a decrease in sexual desire. So do not use crying as a means of influencing your beloved often.

In fact, when you cry, the only thing a man wants to do is run away and not see it. But if he loves you, he will pull himself together and do everything he can to try to comfort you even if the reason you’re crying seems trivial to him. He will calm down only when you start smiling again. However, if he doesn’t love you, then your tears will be just one more reason to get angry at you.

Flirtatiousness

10 True Signs That Your Man Has Stopped Loving You

Flirting is very good for relationships. This is a great tool to revive feelings and overcome routine when you have been together for a long time. Text messages, intriguing hints, playful photos — all this helps rekindle mutual interest, as in the first days of the relationship. Of course, it is very important that both partners actively respond to each other’s advances.

However, if you have already sent 10 erotic selfies in different poses to your partner and have been coming up with new lines, but the reaction from your man is zero, stop doing it. Or consider what could be causing your partner to ignore your advances.

His reaction to requests

10 True Signs That Your Man Has Stopped Loving You

For a loving man, the requests and wishes of his beloved (not friends or distant relatives) will always take first place. In fact, men like to help women — this gives them the opportunity to demonstrate how cool, strong, and responsible they are. Of course, there are situations when a man cannot help, for example, he does not know how to repair a faucet, but he certainly should not leave you alone to deal with this problem — he will call the plumber, instead. However, if the most innocent request, like asking for help changing a lightbulb, is perceived with annoyance and as just “yet another unbearable task,” the relationship is worth reconsidering. Is it possible that your man is helping some other woman and with greater enthusiasm?

Jealousy

10 True Signs That Your Man Has Stopped Loving You

It turns out that even monkeys are able to feel jealous of their partners around other males. Jealousy arose in the course of evolution as a way to maintain the integrity of the couple. A man is wired so that subconsciously he wants to declare his rights to a woman and to be the only “owner” of her beauty. Therefore, it is quite natural that your man starts to get nervous when someone pays attention to you. But people, of course, are not monkeys, and bouts of excessive jealousy will only harm the relationship.

But when a man is absolutely indifferent to the signs of attention that other men show his lady, this is an alarming sign. He no longer wants to fight for her and doesn’t want to try to become better to stay the best for her.

Protection from danger

10 True Signs That Your Man Has Stopped Loving You

The need to protect their loved ones is also the basis for men while the need to be protected is the basis for women. And although modern men no longer have to protect the weaker sex from predators and wild tribes, there are still dangers in our troubled world. Therefore, it is pretty natural that a loving man becomes worried when his second half comes back from work late or is alone in an unfamiliar place. If he cannot be around, then he’ll at least call her and make sure she’s fine. By protecting a woman from threats, whether real or imaginary ones, a man feels like a superhero.

Therefore, if you do not get protection and support from a man in difficult situations, such as having to walk home alone at night, getting lost in an unfamiliar city, or getting yelled at by your boss, this is a very bad sign. Your chosen one is either a coward or simply doesn’t like you. Why do you need him then?

Gentle words and expressing feelings

10 True Signs That Your Man Has Stopped Loving You

The language of love consists of tender words, touches, hugs, and kisses. When we call a partner things like “sweetheart,” “darling,” or “dear,” we create a special intimate atmosphere. The choice of affectionate names occurs unconsciously and shows how one partner relates to the other, who dominates the relationship, and how well they are balanced.

By the way, men need all this lovey-dovey stuff just as much as women do. Researchers from the US interviewed 1,000 married couples and found that those husbands who often kiss and hug with their wives feel 3 times happier in a marriage than those who don’t.

So if your man frowns every time you try to hug him and call “sweetheart,” the reason is not his natural male rigor. As sad as it may sound, his feelings have probably faded away.

What type of behavior do you think is the most upsetting? Tell us in the comments!

 

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