Marriage preparation for a groom is really not all that different from how a bride should prepare. Like any bride, you also need to ask yourself some crucial questions. There also feats of (emotional) strength you must perform in support of your spouse.First, you need to be sure you are ready for a marriage. Is your girlfriend ready too? Does she also want the same things as you do from this relationship? If yes, then great! Congratulations!
1. You are a team
Do not contradict in public. Form a united front even if you know she is wrong. Discuss your disagreements when you are alone at a later time. You have moved on from your mother so it is important to cut the apron strings and side with your spouse – at least in front of her. Always. Do not let your relationship with your mother (or best friend, child, or anyone) overtake your partnership with your spouse. No meddling allowed.
2. Know your limits
We are human and know what we are good at. There are many stereotypes that you don’t have to live up to (and frankly aren’t expected to). Call the plumber, find an accountant, don’t let ego make a mess of major things.
3. Discuss money/career/children/religion
Discuss any sticky subject matter that is important to you. Get on the same page and manage each other’s expectations. Plan your budgets. Are you saving for a house? Where? Do either of you have to go back to school? What is the debt scenario? All uncomfortable topics need to be hashed out and compromises need to be found for the road to be laid out smooth for the future.
4. Always maintain respect and composure
There will be disagreements. This is a guarantee. Handle them with grace and patience; No name calling, no grudge holding, don’t ever retaliate. Fight fair. When it’s all over and the two of you have taken your space let your spouse know they are the most important person in your life.Expectations come from both parties. Live up to yours. If you make agreements be sure to stick to them. If assistance is asked for, get up and assist when asked the first time. Be strong and be patient & your spouse will look to you to be their pillar when times get dark. Deliver on that and you will receive the same treatment in return.
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Has a man ever told you that you’re a great friend, but he isn’t feeling romantic about you? If so, it may be because you’re doing a great job connecting with a man’s head and intellect, but doing nothing to trigger passion in his heart. You’re afraid to let your guard down and show your true feelings because you don’t want to be hurt again. But this fear is keeping you from emotionally connecting with a man.
Instead, take these three steps:
Stop analyzing and obsessing
Women believe the lie that men fear displays of emotion. Actually, what men can’t stand is “drama,” but they fall to their knees in adoration for a woman who can feel something and communicate it in a non–judgmental, non–critical and vulnerable way.
Allow yourself to feel every emotion, even if it’s not interesting or pleasant. When you stop analyzing why and just feel, you’ll feel more fully yourself, more alive, and therefore you’ll automatically be more attractive to every man.
2. Get out of your head and into your feelings
What are your conversations with a man like?
If you’re in your head, you are probably expressing a lot of opinions and facts about things. That’s not very romantic. Opinions are good for an occasional lively discussion with friends, but they don’t do anything to inspire him to love you.
Instead, notice how you feel about things throughout your day. Whenever you catch yourself lost in your thoughts, to–do lists or opinions, take yourself back to how you feel in the moment.
“Opinions are good for an occasional lively discussion with friends, but they don’t do anything to inspire him to love you.”
3. Communicate using the phrase “I feel,” not “I think… ”
Speak from your feelings. Start sentences with “I feel” instead of “I think.” This may seem odd at first. You may be afraid that if you do this, a man will think you’re silly or too emotional or that you’ll scare him off. Actually, the exact opposite is true.
The more you’re able to share your emotions in a man’s presence without going into drama and telling him what’s wrong with him, the closer he’s going to want to get to you.
The best way to help a man connect to his tender, emotional side is by knowing how you feel and being able to clearly and honestly communicate it to him.
When you start connecting with his heart this way, he’ll be more affectionate and loving with you. He may even start sharing what he feels with you.
Taking these steps changed my marriage nearly overnight. Even now, whenever I spend too much time discussing things instead of feeling juicy and romantic, I remind myself to do these three things and everything shifts like magic.
If you’d like help learning how to connect to your own feelings and expressing them to your man in a way that will trigger passion and love (not just friendly admiration), the best way to do that is to read my eBook. In it, you’ll not only learn WHY a man is psychologically triggered by certain expressions and a juicy feminine “vibe,” but what to do, which words to say, and how to use body language to get him to fall for you as a lover, not just a friend.
You’ll learn the “secret psychology” behind why a man is drawn to you and wants to put his arms around you and get closer each and every day. You’ll learn the common mistakes to avoid, too, and the #1 reason most women, who are otherwise strong, accomplished and put–together FAIL in love, and how you can avoid that painful fate.
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I saw Cherie a week ago Friday. We keep in touch through texting. We talk about my job, and the salon, and her jobs and her son. Just daily connection stuff. So it was Sunday night and I asked her if we had a lunch date in our future this week. She said she would be able to meet me at 3:15 the next day.
I had just come from lunch with Church and we went over to Square 1682 just to sit at the bar and work. We didn’t drink anything because it was the middle of the day. Phicklephilly doesn’t day drink unless he’s out with friends on a Saturday. Plus, girlfriend is on the way and I don’t want anything to affect my hydraulics if you get my meaning.
So I get the text that Cherie has arrived at Suburban Station. I tell her to walk South on 17th street. Cherie my love has a terrible sense of direction. She doesn’t know Philly’s streets because she lives in Pottstown. But if I tell her to go North or East or South or West, she has no idea where she’s going. I take it for granted that you could drop me off anywhere in this city and I could find my way home or to any destination. Even with the incredible technology we all carry around in our pockets, Cherie can’t get it together.
I don’t mind this about her at all, I just feel bad for her getting lost all of the time. But I usually guide her to wherever we’re going to meet. She texts me that she has arrived and I told her to just walk down 17th Street. Within a few minutes she texts “North or South?” I reply, South. She says, “Okay because I just walked to Arch street.”
“That’s North sweetie. Turn around and come South. JFK, Market, Chestnut, to Sansom. That’s where I’ll be.”
Within a few minutes she appears. Church says he has to head out, and I tell him Cherie and I need to go workout together for a couple of hours.
We walk back to the apartment. “What time do you have to leave?”
“I have to catch the 6:05 train.”
“Okay. It’s 3:30 now. That gives us 2 hours until we should walk back to Suburban Station.”
We go straight to the bedroom where I proceed to ravish my lovely girl. She’s delighted and is a willing and very enthusiastic participant. We know our time together is short so we have to make the most of it.
And make the most of it we do. Cherie’s is spectacular as always and I rise to the occasion like the Phoenix.
I love Cherie. She’s like the perfect girl for me. She’s sweet, funny and smart. She doesn’t want anything from me but my love. (I still do stuff for her though) She’s low key and has an agreeable demeanor. She’s fit, and has lovely soft skin.
For a girl with such an insatiable sexual appetite she is surprisingly vanilla in some ways. But I like that. She’s a bisexual nymphomaniac but there are surprisingly some things she has yet to experienced. So that’s where I come in. We’ll slowly move forward and experiment with new things. I know it’ll be good, and maybe even I’ll experience some new things that a jaded old dude has never done.
Looking forward to the adventurous journey with my lovely lady! She’s a beauty.
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I went to Kentucky for work a couple of weeks ago and picked up the “Kentucky crud” For real!! Seems this place is known for it. It felt like I had chewed broken glass!! It really was not so bad at first, I did not feel sick and mostly it was just a sore throat […]
In an ideal world, we’d all come into relationships with clear intentions and total alignment on what both parties hope to get out of the partnership. But things don’t always go as planned, especially when sex, emotions, and life in general are involved. Even if two people totally agreed to keep things casual from the start of dating, or both said they were searching for something serious, what happens next is a result of how you feel.Feelings cannot be predicted; if you fear your partner is falling faster than you are, here are the red flags they’re in love with you.
Unfortunately, you can’t time out love. “It’s not realistic to think that in every relationship, people fall in love at the exact same time,” says licensed marriage and family therapist, Anita Chlipala. You may notice the person you’re seeing acting doe-eyed around you, and instead of making your heart skip beats, it gives you cold sweats. Know that pumping the breaks when you aren’t ready is totally acceptable. If you are into your SO, but not feeling the big L word yet, there are still ways to make the relationship work.
But before you address where your relationship stands, you might want to make sure that you’re reading all the signs correctly. Luckily, your partner’s behaviors and verbal cues can give you a lot of information about what’s going on in their heart (and mind). Here are some of the signs that the person you’re seeing is falling for you, and the ways to get you two back to a mutually understood place.
1. They Might Actually See Your Soul Through Your Eyes
Kate Moyle, psychosexual therapist and partner at Pillow App for Couples, says that both lingering eye contact and touch are signs of intense connection. “We know that skin-on-skin contact releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone which plays a key role in intimate relationships,” she continues.
2. Their Calendar Is Cleared Out… Only For You
Moyle also points to significant time investment and attention as a way to find out if your partner is feeling all the feels. “When we are in love with someone, we want them to feel special,” she says. “We often see this at the start of relationships, when we will drop everything for that other person in an instant or put them first above seeing others.” If you feel the person you’re seeing putting extra care and time into your relationship, it could mean they are looking to make things serious.
3. They Use A Lot of Heart Eye Emojis
Does the person you’re seeing answer all of your texts immediately and use a ton of lovey emojis in their responses? LeslieBeth Wish, Ed.D., psychotherapist, author of Smart Relationships, and founder of Love Victory, says that extreme excitement over hearing your voice or receiving a text from you could mean they’re falling for you.
4. They’re Always Down To Do You Favors.
Remember that commercial where a guy buys his girlfriend tampons and the song “I Would Do Anything For Love” plays in the background… as though to say that love compelled him to buy her feminine hygiene products? Well, it wasn’t that far off.
According to Wish, favors can be a sign of heart flutters, especially if the person does favors for you without your asking.
5. You’ve Been Penciled In For The Future
A lot of the time, we think actions show love, but what about the things someone says that hint at it? If “they talk about doing things and going places in the future,” Wish advises that their feelings for you might be the real deal.
6. When They Say “Meet The Parents,” They Don’t Mean The Movie…
Lastly, Wish says that if the person is really keen on you meeting their friends, family, and/or colleagues, serious feelings are most definitely in the air.
OK, so maybe all signs point to love. Just relax. The best thing that you can do is be open with your partner and let them know how you’re feeling. If they confirm that they’re in love, Chlipala recommends expressing your side of things by saying something like, “I’m really enjoying spending time with you, but I’m just not there yet. I’d like to keep getting to know you better, and I do care about you.” Then, reset expectations to let them know exactly where you are, because being open and honest is the best way to handle someone’s intimate emotions responsibly.
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Elvis could have any woman. So why was he only able to form relationships with virginal girls?
This is Part 2 of last Sunday’s Tales of Rock – The King’s Obsession – Part 1
Often these star-struck youngsters were distraught that their idol had not tried to go further and Raphael had the job of letting them down gently.
‘I’d say: “He’ll call you again.” Of course he never did, but with some of the younger ones he’d be like the tooth fairy, slipping hundred-dollar bills into their school books.’
Even in those more innocent times, it seems remarkable that the girls’ parents allowed them to attend such unorthodox sleepovers. But they were as won over as their daughters by Presley’s huge celebrity and charming southern manners.
Presley became ever more paranoid about his skills as a lover – hence his fascination with virgins who would not demand full-on sex
As his friend Joe Esposito recalled: ‘Elvis could talk anyone, particularly women, into anything.’
This plausibility would prove vital in his wooing of Priscilla, the U.S. serviceman’s daughter he met in Germany during his national service.
It’s well documented that Priscilla was only 14 when she was introduced to Presley by an airman named Currie Grant. But this first encounter was far from the chaste affair that Colonel Parker had the world believe.
After meeting Priscilla at a club for service families, Grant took her to meet Presley at his home in the town of Bad Nauheim, near Frankfurt. Petite, dark-haired and with deep-set blue eyes, she was his ideal woman, not least because she reminded him of his mother Gladys in her youth.
‘Elvis jumped up like he was sitting on a hot plate,’ recalled Grant. ‘I had never seen him react to any girl like that.’
According to Grant, Presley soon had Priscilla ‘backed up against the wall, kissing her’. At 8.30pm he took her up to his bedroom and they did not emerge again until 1.30am, when it was time for Grant to take her home.
As their nights together continued, Priscilla’s concerned parents asked to meet Presley. Unaware that he had boasted to an army friend that he could ‘train her up any way I want’, they were instantly charmed by their daughter’s new boyfriend.
Indeed, he was encouraged to see Priscilla by her mother Ann. She had long dreamed of a career in show business and perhaps believed that some of Presley’s star dust might rub off on her.
Elvis and Priscilla with baby Lisa-Marie. Once his wife was pregnant, Elvis no longer wanted to have intimate relations with her, a book claims.
While Presley assured the Beaulieus that he and Priscilla just played music together as they spent hours hidden away in his bedroom, they both admitted many years later that they had full intercourse at this time.
Bizarrely, Presley convinced himself Priscilla remained a virgin because he would stop himself continuing their love-making just before the vital moment. This vaguest of notions of her purity was key if he was to continue finding her attractive, but he considered himself free to see other women as he pleased.
Back in the U.S. in March 1960, with his military service over and Priscilla pining for him in Germany, Presley started work on his next film, GI Blues. He also began dating Sandy Ferra, the 14-year-old daughter of a nightclub owner in Los Angeles.
Chaperoned everywhere by her mother Mary Lou, 25-year-old Presley got no further than kissing Sandy – so passionately that her face was red raw – but he had other intentions. One night he asked Mary Lou if she and her daughter would consider moving to his new mansion, the soon-to-be-legendary Graceland, where he would ‘raise’ Sandy as his future wife.
Sandy’s father vetoed the idea, but Presley had a back-up plan in Priscilla. In 1963, when she was 17, he convinced her parents that she should continue her education at a convent school in the U.S., living with him at Graceland on the understanding that they would one day marry.
‘He was fascinated with the idea of real young teenage girls. It scared the hell out of all of us.’
Unaware that an identical offer had been made to another family only three years previously, the Beaulieus agreed, and so Priscilla began a strange new life in Memphis.
‘I was a prim and proper schoolgirl by day and Elvis’s girlfriend by night,’ she recalled.
Still determined Priscilla should be a virgin when they married, Presley continued with his bizarre definition of what constituted love-making. But this did not stop him capturing his fantasies on Polaroid – photographing Priscilla as she seduced him in her school uniform, or pretending to be her teacher.
Eventually these role-play sessions extended to simulated lesbian sex with another girl, a hairdresser Presley knew. To keep Priscilla awake during these long, late-night sessions, he began giving her the amphetamines to which he was addicted, ignoring the fact that she had to get up for school the next morning.
Slowly Presley turned Priscilla into a doll-like version of his ideal woman – with a giant beehive hairdo and heavy eye make-up – the look he had encouraged Frances Forbes and her little friends in Memphis to want.
‘I was someone he created,’ she said. ‘I was just a kid and I was consumed by him. All I desired was not to disappoint him.’
Beloved: Elvis was close to his mother Gladys, centre, pictured weeping as he left for Fort Chaffee.
For Priscilla, the greatest fear was that Presley would leave her for another woman. Soon after moving into Graceland, she heard he was seeing Ann-Margret Olsson, 22, his glamorous co-star in Viva Las Vegas.
In a child-like attempt to win back his affection, she began styling her hair like Ann-Margret’s and copying her dance moves from the film.
‘She’d stand in front of a mirror cussing Ann-Margret and all the time trying to be as much like her as possible,’ recalled Jo Smith, wife of Presley’s cousin Billy. ‘It was pitiful.’
At one point, Presley was dating five women including Priscilla. Given that he had proposed to Ann-Margret, it’s doubtful whether he ever intended to marry Priscilla, but in 1967 his hand was forced by his ever-controlling manager Colonel Parker.
Fearful that rumours of the singer’s reckless drug use would reach the studios, he decided that a wedding would reinforce his image as a purveyor of family values.
Priscilla hoped that the marriage would stop Presley’s philandering and make him commit to her, but in fact it achieved exactly the opposite.
She conceived their daughter Lisa Marie on honeymoon in Palm Springs but, as soon as Presley realised she was pregnant, his sexual interest in her disappeared. He was first attracted to Priscilla as a virgin and her pregnancy was proof this was no longer the case.
This made little sense outside of Presley’s own drug-addled mind, but it spelled the end of the marriage, although not his interest in much younger women.
In 1974, just two years after their divorce, he began seeing 14-year-old Reeca Smith, a friend of his stepbrother Ricky Stanley.
According to Smith, that relationship lasted only a few months and never went beyond ‘sweet, innocent kisses’. It ended when she became worried about the drug use that had bloated his body and contributed to the heart attack that eventually killed him in August 1977.
He left behind not just millions of grieving fans, but Lisa Marie, the daughter whose own love life would later link the Presley name with another of music’s murkiest legacies.
In 1994, Lisa Marie married Michael Jackson, just as he faced allegations of child molestation with the involvement of complicit parents. History, it seemed, was repeating itself.
I’m stunned by all of this. I always loved Elvis and I am struggling with who he really was now.
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There are reasons why a person finds it difficult at first to give up their habit. One of the reasons may be because everything around them reminds them of their bad habit which they want to give up. It could be:
1. Tea or coffee breaks during work when he or she used to light a cigarette.
2. The store he or she used to buy cigarettes
3. Friends who they hang around with who are also smokers.
Identify the anchors preventing you from moving on from your ex.
I made the comparison with quitting a bad habit because it generates the same feeling as what someone suffering from a broken heart is going through. People suffer because they keep on thinking about the person that dumped them. Right now, there are many things that cause you to think of your ex and it’s this constant remembering of your ex that is one of the reasons why it’s hard for you to move on ….and fall out of love with them.
People, in their mind, naturally develop associations or anchors between two events if those two events happened at the same time. This is also known as classical conditioning. When one association occurs, a person’s memory of the other thing will be immediately triggered.
Just like with our example of someone giving up smoking. They would, at first, find it tough at work during their break because he or she used to have a cigarette during that time. They would have already associated their work breaks with lighting a cigarette. This association would cause him to miss smoking more than what he normally would.
It’s the same scenario as relationships and trying to move on from a broken heart.When you go to a place you and your ex used to visit together (like the movie theatre or a park etc), this is what happens:
– You remember him or her.
– And all the memories the two of you had together at that place.
Your subconscious has already “associated” the place with your ex and this causes you to think of them, causing you pain.
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Open communication is something that every relationship should be based upon. We should be able to communicate freely to our partner without holding anything back. Yet more often than not, we wish that we could take back some words.
Usually, those words are spoken when we are angry and we can’t prevent them from coming out of our mouth. And the thing with those words is that they can hurt your partner more than any actual physical wound. While physical wounds heal after a certain time has passed. wounds inflicted by words can never heal entirely.
For that reason, we should be careful with what we say even when we feel exasperated. Even if they were unintentionally uttered, those words can cost you happiness in your relationship or even risk that relationship entirely.
So even at your angriest, avoid using these phrases:
1. Shut up.
Sometimes while arguing you just want the other person to stop talking or stop shouting so that you can say something too. But saying shut up is very aggressive and it shouldn’t be used so loosely. It’s better to use, “Can you please be quiet,” or, “Can I say something now, please?” is a better alternative. It’s not always about what you say but how you say it.
2. You’re an idiot.
Aiming at your partner’s intelligence while fighting is just a trigger that causes deeper and more profound problems. It will show that you don’t value your partner. Criticizing and looking down on your partner can be destructive for your relationship. It might start off with tension at first and make it harder and harder to reconnect afterwards.
3. You have to.
“You have to,” sentences are reserved for children and pets and should be banned completely from adult conversation. You are not your partner’s boss or guardian so you don’t have any need to show your authority. Always find words that treat your partner with the respect they deserve. Relationships are about equality.
4. My ex would never…
Bringing up your ex is never a good idea. Comparing your ex to your current partner is even worse. Even if you didn’t think anything of it, bringing out the ghost of an ex’s past can make your partner think that you still have feelings for or some unresolved issues with your ex.
5. Your mother is so… or your friend is so…
Regardless of whether it’s their mother, father, family member or a friend, you should never criticize them. Just by being important people in your partner’s life, they deserve respect, even in those moments where your anger speaks instead of you. You would never allow someone to talk trash about the important people in your life now, would you?
6. You shouldn’t feel that way.
People feel what they feel. Feelings can’t be influenced and by telling somebody not to feel a certain way you are not helping. You always have to have an understanding of other people’s feelings. Don’t disregard them just because you might not understand them.
7. If you don’t like it, find someone else.
Or, “If you don’t like it, just leave.” The ‘if you don’t like it’ phrase suggests that you will only do things your way or no way and leaves no room for compromise. The other phrase suggests that you are ready to end it. Ending a relationship shouldn’t be mentioned unless you really mean it. It’s not something that you can take back, so make sure you are 100% certain of what you are saying there. You might be breaking somebody else’s heart with words like that.
8. I don’t care.
Being in a loving relationship means caring always, no matter the situation. So if you say that you don’t care, it might have a different meaning in your partner’s head than it has in yours. While you might say it thinking that you don’t care about the certain issue that you are discussing, your partner could interpret it like you don’t care about them or the things that are important to them.
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Answering ‘no’ to any of the questions isn’t a good sign for your relationship
Being in love can be incredible – but it also has the habit of making us see our faulty relationships through rose-tinted glasses.
In reality, deciphering whether the relationship you are in is built to last can be difficult – so Gary W. Lewandowski, a relationship scientist, professor of psychology at Monmouth University, and creator of http://www.ScienceOfRelationships.com, came up with a list of 15 questions for deciphering whether your romantic relationship is good for you.
Lewandowski told The Independent he decided to create a list because the number one question he gets is: “How do I know if I’m in the right relationship?”
“It is probably the question people have the most but are least equipped to answer themselves,” he told The Independent, “When they try to determine, they don’t always know the right questions to ask and focus on the wrong thing.”
Drawing inspiration from the Keltner List, a list for considering whether a baseball player is deserving of the National Baseball Hall of Fame, Lewandowski created a list that uses gut instinct, as well as science – as both are necessary when making big decisions – or when trying to decide on the “best of the good.”
According to Lewandowski, responding “yes,” honestly, to these questions, which rely on both science-backed data and intuition, means your relationship is worth staying in.
The questions are:
1. Does your partner make you a better person, and do you do the same for them?
2. Are you and your partner both comfortable with sharing feelings, relying on each other, being close, and able to avoid worrying about the other person leaving?
3. Do you and your partner accept each other for who you are, without trying to change each other?
4. When disagreements arise, do you and your partner communicate respectfully and without contempt or negativity?
5. Do you and your partner share decision-making, power and influence in the relationship?
6. Is your partner your best friend, and are you theirs?
7. Do you and your partner think more in terms of “we” and “us,” rather than “you” and “I”?
8. Would you and your partner trust each other with the passwords to social media and bank accounts?
9. Do you and your partner have good opinions of each other – without having an overinflated positive view?
10. Do your close friends, as well as your partner’s, think you have a great relationship that will stand the test of time?
11. Is your relationship free of red flags like cheating, jealousy and controlling behaviour?
12. Do you and your partner share the same values when it comes to politics, religion, the importance of marriage, the desire to have kids (or not) and how to parent?
13. Are you and your partner willing to sacrifice your own needs, desires and goals for each other (without being a doormat)?
14. Do you and your partner both have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities?
15. Are you and your partner sexually compatible?
If you answer “no,” the bad news is your relationship likely won’t stand the test of time because “just because you can find good doesn’t mean it is a good relationship,” according to Lewandowski.
But the good news is breakups can be a good thing – as “staying in a bad relationship is the worst possible thing for you,” according to Lewandowski.
He told The Independent: “Learning good stuff about relationships is no threat to good relationships” and “If you’re in a mediocre to bad relationship, getting out frees you up to get in a great one.”
So if you do happen to answer these questions with “no,” your relationship likely wasn’t all that great to begin with – and it may be time to break-up.
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Phicklephilly 