Kimiko – Chapter 3 – The Devil Made Me Do It – Part 1

I finished work at the salon that Sunday, and headed over to Devil’s Alley. It’s a bar/restaurant at 20th and Chestnut. I’ve written about it before. It’s one of my go to spots in Rittenhouse. Southern cuisine, cool spot. Dining room on the ground floor, and the bar and the balcony seating upstairs. There are lots of cool light effects and plants. There’s actually a tree growing in the middle of the downstairs dining room.

They have the best spicy dry rub wings in the city. The food is great there and I’ve just learned that they do Happy Hour every day. Even Sundays! So I’ve come to the right spot for my first date with Kimiko.

I’m early of course. I head upstairs to the bar and order a vodka and tonic. The bartender Tim is charming and we chat a bit about work and how life is tough right now. Classic bar banter. I throw it back and order another just to take the edge off the day and this date.

I text her.

Me: I just arrived at Devil’s Alley.

K: One min.

Me: I’m at the bar upstairs.

Perfect. It’s 4:57 and she is right on time. Points for her punctuality.

The place is dead and I love that it’s quiet so we can chat and get to know each other when she and I dine together.

I hear the light click of heels coming up the metal stairs behind me. I turn and there before me is the girl from the profile on Bumble.

But better.

The angelic fine boned features of the face. Alive. Real. Her raven tresses tumble about her shoulders like ribbons of coal. The lovely almond eyes. The lean body. She’s wearing a black and white blouse, with a fitted short jacket over it paired with black clinging slacks and heels.

She’s absolutely perfect. We do the perfunctory awkward hug that doesn’t feel that bad at all. I catch a whiff of her lovely hair.

We grab a quiet table on the balcony. We sit and the bartender comes over and she gets a beer and I ask for another V&T. We exchange the usual greetings and pleasantries. She tells me she’s parked a few blocks away at 20th and Walnut.

We’re sipping our drinks and I tell the server we want to chat a bit but will be ordering food. I ask her how long she’s been on Bumble. She tells me only about two weeks. She’s been on two dates but it hasn’t yielded anything significant. One was just a no and the other didn’t look like his profile pics. That’s good, the shark has gotten this baby seal before she could disappear. I can tell by her expression and body language she’s telling the truth.

I decide to open and tell her about myself first. She’s fine with that. It’s time for Led Zeppelin to go onstage. I tell her I like to talk. She responds that she’s a good listener.

I give her the sales pitch. Single dad. Daughter, 22 lives with me. Former banker and advertising guy. Works at a tanning salon and investing in a fitness center in Rittenhouse. I talk about my family and where we’re from and a little bit of history. I tell her I want her to know who I am and I’m very honest and open. I want to put her at ease. It’s an easy play because it’s all true.

To a point.

We seem to be hitting on all cylinders. She jokingly brings up my profile. About how I make the statement, “If you don’t look like your profile pics, you’ll buy me drinks until you do.”

I assure her that she won’t be buying me any drinks tonight. (Smokin’ hot and better than her profile pics.)

She laughs and I see how sweet she is. She can tell I’m a gentleman, and that I’m old-fashioned and she likes that I like dating, romance and courtship. That puts her further at ease.

She tells me her story. It’s an old family. Older than mine but she’s the baby of the family. There are eight children! She was born in Hong Kong. (Funny how my girlfriend Cherie is in Japan right now and I’m with a Japanese girl. Oh, the irony of life!) A long time ago Great Britain ruled Hong Kong and Japan. But then they had to give all of the countries they ruled over back and Japan went under the rule of China. She said her family didn’t agree with Chinese rule and fled Hong Kong and came to the US long ago.

Her parents and extended family always worked in the restaurant business. Chinese restaurants of course. Asians are some of the greatest restauranteurs in the world. Think about it. They’re in every city in the civilized world and you never see them go out of business.

So that’s what they did when they came here. The whole family worked like dogs running a Chinese restaurant. Then they opened up another one, and then another. They did this to afford their future generations with a better life. That’s how it’s done. Just good hard-working, bright people. I admire them and their tireless work ethic. Good manners and discipline. All of the qualities instilled into my family by my parents.

She was married once and I tell her my history, but I keep it brief and light. Too early to get to deep in that on a first date. She was married for many years and it yielded two sons. They are both in medical school.

Do you see the pattern here? Come from a crappy place, get to America. Work your asses off so your kids and grand kids have the means to become anything they want. Something you could never have imagined doing. She is very proud of her boys. At this point we whip out the cell phones like people used to bring out the wallet photos of their kids in days of old.

“You’re daughter is gorgeous. Pretty as a model!”

“I do nice work, but the mold is broken and there’ll be no more.”

We order the spicy dry rub wings so she can try them. Because its happy hour you can get a little four plate. Perfect. She orders the chicken quesadilla and I go with the pulled pork sliders. I order for us both and ask her if that’s okay. She likes it and digs the manners and skills.

Ex girlfriend Annabelle didn’t like when I did that but she was a raging feminist, but she was just a fool who didn’t understand manners and chivalry because she never grew up with any good male role models. That’ll never happen to my daughter Lorelei.

It’s going well and I want to learn more about her. She met her husband here but they had a lot in common. Both from Hong Kong, and similar cultural and familial histories. They started dating and then married three months after that. She tells me that’s kind of stupid, but I tell her how I was married to my ex-wife after ten months of dating.

We share a laugh over that and there’s definitely a connection. Life happens. People make decisions and you just hope for the best. It was probably just everyone tired of the dating scene and you settle on what you hope is a good one and just go for it.

She looks at her watch.

“Do you have somewhere to be? I don’t want to keep you.”

“I have to put money in the meter.”

“That would be a brilliant out if you felt the date wasn’t going well. You could just not come back.”

She touches my arm, “Oh I would never do that! You’re funny. I’ll be right back!”

She apologizes and I tell her the Parking Authority in this city is vicious so she should go now.

Off she goes. I know she’ll be right back. She only put enough for two hours and if it hadn’t worked between us, she could have bolted. She’ll come back right?

She’s been sweet, and she touched my arm.

Kimiko is coming right back. I joke with the bartender how this could be her out.

 

Wait… What if she doesn’t come back?

 

Find out tomorrow on Phicklephilly!

 

 

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Itchy and Snatchy

I’ve had my fair share of bad dates and am so glad to be happy in a relationship for the moment but there is always a story to tell.

I talked to her a few times and got a general idea of who she was and things she liked so we agreed to go out. I picked her up and she asked me to take her to Target to get a baby shower gift.

Hmmm… odd request but okay. The entire time I’m in Target with her she’s complimenting my looks. Now I know I’m not a bad-looking dude but this girl was making me out to be Tom Cruise or something. The red flags start waving.

We leave and go to dinner. A steak house. We sit and chit-chat. She says she’s starving. So the server comes and takes our order. She orders a burger.

I’m like, hey you can order a steak, get whatever you want.

She says nope I want a burger. Okay. No biggie. I order my steak and we wait.

Conversation was mild and flowing. No real red flags until dinner came. She looks at my steak and says, oh wow I should have ordered a steak that looks so good.

Hmmm… ok I told you that, but whatever. I take a bite and she won’t touch her burger. It just sits there for a few minutes.

Here’s where things get weird. She starts laughing hysterically and points behind me and says look at that guy over there. Naturally I turn around and see nothing. I turn back and she has bare hand grabbed my steak and has it in her mouth taking a large bite out of it. She tosses is back on my plate and licks her fingers. I’m pretty shocked at this point and ready for dinner to be over. You’d think that’s not too crazy.

Oh, it gets worse.

So I’m done with the steak. She proceeds to inhale her burger. She,s a very petite girl so I’m amazed. Then she starts scratching herself. Like she’s itching. She’s scratching between her legs and it’s getting more vigorous.

I ask if she’s okay, and she says she thinks she’s got a yeast infection. She said it pretty loud and if people didn’t turn their heads at the steak part they are now and it gets quiet. She is scratching really hard now. I’m signaling the waiter for the check.

She asks if I can take her to the store for some Vagisil. At this point I’m ready for some candid cameras to come out and tell me I’m Punk’d.

I pay quickly and we get in my car.

I drive back towards her place and she says she’s not ready to go home but needs to stop and get some Vagisil. I pull into a grocery store in front of her apartment and park. She gets out and looks back and asks if I’m coming in too. I say no and will wait in the car. As soon as she walks in I left.

She called me 4 hours later asking where I went. Never talked to her again.

She’s dubbed “crazy steak girl.”

 

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Cherie – Chapter 43 – A Kiss Before Asia

Cherie is going to visit her brother in Japan. The whole family is going.  She’ll be gone for two weeks. It sounds like it will be an amazing trip. I’m going to miss her but we’ll keep in touch. Last weekend was amazing so that’ll have to hold me over, but I thought we could have lunch this week just to see each other one more time before she leaves.

We decide to meet up at Misconduct. The last time we were there it was her 27th birthday. I gave her candy and a gift card to Starbucks. Our relationship was so new back then. Barely a month old. Now we’ll have been together for nearly ten months. Going strong.

I’m sitting at my table (table #12) and who pops over but my friend Mary. (See: Mary -Unexpected Table for Two) Normally she’s not here on a Tuesday, but for some reason she’s here. It’s nice to chat with her. We met up for drinks a few weeks ago and I’m happy she’s in my life.

Cherie arrives and Mary remembers her. She also remembers the cute unexpected way she was a part of me giving Cherie her little birthday gifts that day back in November.

Cherie is wearing a little olive-green vest over what appears to be a silky patterned jumper. It’s the least clothes I’ve ever seen her wear in public. The two strips of fabric can barely contain her breasts, the neckline plummets, there is no back to it, and the shorts are barely there. She looks smoking hot. I love seeing her lovely shapely legs out. It’s actually turning me on that my girlfriend has so little on in public.

Lunch was great and it’s good to buy my baby a meal, because she never wants anything.

Later I’m walking her to her car and she tells me she’s horny. She’s always horny. I’ve never met a woman with a more insatiable sex drive. It’s fantastic, but I sometimes I feel bad for her because she’s worked up and I’m not with her and I can’t help her relieve the urge. I like walking down the street with her. I hope I run into someone I know so I can show off my lovely girlfriend.

We get to her car and she is in a 2 hour parking zone so she has to go. We get in and chat a bit in the air conditioning.

“You’re the perfect guy for me.”

“You’re the perfect girl for me.”

“I love sex and I can really cum a lot of times. I need to release as many as I can. But I need a man who can sustain intercourse for long periods of time. Most men hop on, hop off and that’s it they go to sleep. You just keep going, and going. You’re like the Energizer Bunny!”

“Well thank you for that, Cherie. I love having sex with you so much I want it to last. Anything worth doing, is worth overdoing. I enjoy the journey with you more than the orgasm. That may be hard for some men to believe but it’s true. It’s not about the destination because then our lovemaking is over. I don’t get to see you that much, so I want the intimate moments between us to be memorable and I really want to satisfy the woman I love sexually.”

She kisses me and I kiss her back. It’s a lovely moment. I’ll miss her. I assure her that we’ll keep in touch.

She drives me up to Walnut street and I kiss her goodbye and tell her we’ll keep in touch.

I walk around the corner and light a cig. I head to the salon.

A few hours later I get a text.

“I’m sooo horny!”

That’s my girl.

 

 

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Murder Mystery Weekend – Chapter 4

I offered to show Craig a good place to get costumes. But I had to practically threaten Eric to get him to show up. The three of us went to the Lido, the costume supplier for several downtown theaters.

Some guys would roll their eyes at the thought of going into such a place. But Craig and Eric were pleasantly surprised. First of all, the place was immense, with an incredible selection. Second, the mannequins on display looked fantastic. There was a roman centurion, a renaissance courtier … And third, most of the costumes were real. Not cheap plastic, not imitation, but real, quality cloth.

Craig was impressed by a Captain Morgan outfit, but wouldn’t rent it.

– “That looks too fancy. I think I’m just a common sailor.” He settled on an oversized, brightly colored, striped shirt. It looked like a rugby jersey, to me, except that it had laces at the throat. He liked the look of a polka-dotted headscarf, too.

We found him some black boots made out of soft leather, and a wide sash to wear around his waist. Black pants that he could tuck into his boots completed the outfit.

– “I like the sash. Good for tucking a knife in, or hiding your driver’s licence.” I told him.

– “Should I get an eye patch?” he wondered.

Just then Eric came around the corner, with a bundle of clothing over his arm. He was wearing two eye patches – one over each eye.

– “Where are you guys? Ahoy, mateys!” he called.

Craig and I exchanged a look.

– “Maybe not.” he said.

Eric fell in love with a dark grey thing that looked like a vest. It was long enough to reach below his knees. It might have been appropriate if we were doing a samurai murder mystery.

But he had found a pair of boots from the Three Musketeers era, and a huge tricorne hat. I left Craig to help him find a shirt and pants, and wandered off to find my own costume.

Some people would hesitate to spend $200 – or even $100 – on a costume. I’m not one of them. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve spent that much on a fancy restaurant meal, or a sports event, or concert tickets. Some of those outings were memorable, others not so much. But a really cool costume can create a memory that will last a lifetime.

I found what I wanted: a black coat with silver trim and enormous cuffs, a soft tricorne hat, soft black boots, and a wide black belt with an ornate silver buckle. Add a large white shirt with a high collar and black knee-breeches, and I was good to go.

Perhaps a bit too splendid for Ned Mulligan, you might say. Too bad. Let the others think that I was some sort of gentleman pirate. A little deception can go a long way. Besides, when I tried it on, it felt remarkably good. And a glance in the mirror confirmed that it looked great, too.

Eric had somehow found a scruffy grey beard.

– “Doesn’t this look awesome?” he asked me.

– “It looks itchy.” said Craig.

– “How can you put a price on art?” retorted Eric. It made no sense, of course, but he never let that hold him back.

– “You look like Captain Child Molester.” I told him.

– “Precisely!” he roared. “I’ll take it!”

I took them out for beer and wings afterwards. Craig turned out to be a decent guy, as I had anticipated. He found Eric funny, and we had a few laughs.

 

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Phicklephilly – 2019 – 1000 Posts! – We Did It!!!

“If you live a life that is without the elements of who you really are you will never be happy.”

I’ve just been notified by WordPress that after 2 1/2 years of writing this blog I’ve written a 1000 posts!!!

It’s been an incredible journey to finally be writing again. I started out in this life as an artist. Then a musician, and then a writer.

But life, marriage, a child, and a career removed me from all of that. Other people needed me and the bills had to be paid.

But after 10 years I decided to write again.

I created Phicklephilly in the spring of 2016 and then did nothing.

By the fall I asked myself, is this something you’re going to talk about in bars with your friends and never do? I had discussed the notion of writing a blog about my life with many of my friends. One who is a better and more visceral writer than myself.

But I started to write.

I published a post about a waitress I had been infatuated with for some time on a Monday.

I worried no one would read it or like it. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to come up with content every Monday.

But I did.

Then I started writing updates for a Wednesday release.

Once the wheel started to roll, I did what needed to be done.

I wrote.

Writing is a hard lonely existence.

It’s something that you have to push yourself to do. Especially in the beginning. But like anything you really want you push yourself to do.

You begin a fitness program and you stick with it. The muscles grow and the fat disappears. You keep at it and then it gets easier.

I started to write like mad. Cranking out content until I had something happening  few times a week.

 

Then I found other things I liked and started to write about them. The Tanning salon, Tales of Rock, Crazy dates I’d been on in the past. Celebrities I’d met, and most of all, past relationships.

Some beautiful. Some bittersweet.

I’m not a great writer, but I kept at it. Like a pilot, I put in a certain number of hours until the plane called Phicklephilly soared.

And now here I am with all of you my loyal followers and readers after two and a half  years of writing.

1000 posts and over 50,000 views!

I couldn’t be happier.

 

If you want to do something, don’t talk about it. Like Nike says: Just do it.

Write everyday.

Push yourself. Who cares who reads it. Just create and express yourself.

 

I GUARANTEE  you that if you start writing and keep at it, the rewards will be like pieces of gold falling into your lap.

When you write from the heart and tell the truth about everything in your life, (Not everything. Keep some of yourself for yourself. That belong to you.)  You will find this liberating weight lifted from your shoulders.

Get it all out. The good, the bad and the ugly. Don’t be afraid. It’s just words. But it will lighten the load you’ve been carrying around your whole life.

Once you write it down and publish it… It’s gone but not invisible. But it’s out of you for the first time in your life. It’s now safely on the paper. You can understand what you’ve experienced so much better once you write about it.

You can look back on your work and your life and it’ so much easier to process, forgive and understand.

 

Writing Phicklephilly has been the most singular liberating experience of my adult life.

 

And there is so much more to tell.

I have so much more to say.

Knowing that these stories are now out on the internet forever. Even after I’m dead it is comforting.

Because they are no longer my responsibility. WordPress carries the weight for me now.

But by writing all of these stories guarantees my immortality.

 

I don’t need that, but it’s so much to live a simple, happy, and uncluttered life once you write.

I love most of what I’ve written. Everybody knows I hate writing dating and relationship advice but I found a way to keep it going for my readers who enjoy it.

I think my followers now know that I write Phicklephilly because of my simple love of creating. I’ve always been that way since I was a child. Drawing a picture. Sculpting something out of clay. Writing a song. Writing a book and a screenplay. Creating a comic strip.

I am an entity that apparently must always be creating and am happiest when I’m doing that very thing.

“If you live a life that is without the elements of who you really are you will not be happy.”

I feel happier than I have ever felt in my entire life.

I’ve lived a big exciting life. I’ve done a lot and experienced much. But it really comes down to a few simple components for me and please take heed if you wish.

  1. Your health is essential. You have that. you’re already winning.
  2. Surround yourself with good people. Whether they are friends, family or even some wonderful pet companions.
  3. Have something to do every day that you like to do. If you hate your job, find a better one that suits your life needs. It’s a third of your life, work. Why spend your day being miserable? Do something you don’t hate every day. It’s a short life. Enjoy yourself!
  4. To love and be loved. This is a tough one. Most people need this one. Love yourself and find someone else to love. If they love you back… Awesome!
  5. Have something to look FORWARD to. I don’t care what it is. Just have something. Brunch with a friend, a red envelope arriving from Netflix, a party, a day off, something you want to do that you made time to do. 

 

That’s it.

The rest is just stuff and bullshit.

Focus on the top 5.

 

Thank you one and all for taking the time out of your busy lives to take the time to read my little blog about dating, relationships and a bunch of stuff from my life.

I wish I could throw a big party and invite each and every one of you and we could all hang out and really get to know one another.

I’ve had the joy to become friends with some of the other talented writers on WordPress and it has been an absolute delight.

So many great people on here.

I also really appreciate my friends who have read and have subscribed to Phicklephilly. I love knowing they are here with me on this journey of self discovery and I hope some of this will inspire them to push forward on their lives.

Two and a half years ago there was nothing. I decided to start to write and now this is here.

You can create anything you want. You just have to do it and do it every day.

Look what can happen if you put your mind to something.

I’m still going to try in 2019 to get a couple of books published on Amazon Kindle this year!

 

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!

 

Anything can be done, and you can do it too.

Please reach out to me for anything. I’ll always get back to as fast as I can.

 

My heart is full of love.

 

Life is good and my daughter Lorelei is healthy and happy, so that’s all I need.

 

Thank you one and all. This means the world to me and I hope you continue to enjoy the content I provide in 2019 and beyond!

 

There’s so much more to the story!!!

 

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Nina – Off Her Meds

I met Nina on POF a few years ago. We talk on the phone and she is relatively normal albeit somewhat shallow. Before the 1st date she sends a nude pic, which I was like, ok she must be interested but she tells me she’s a virgin. The 1st date went well and again seemed relatively normal with some quirks that I found cute, but we don’t have sex or kiss except her hugging me and kissing me on the cheek No red flags.

So, 2nd date is a yes for me and her.

A few days before the 2nd date meeting she texts and says how bummed she is cause she went on another date a few days after our 1st and he rejected her (For me no big deal we only had 1 date & I was lining out a date with another woman). Then she proceeds to tell me about her past which is beyond messed up loaded with physical and sexual abuse and a forced marriage by her parents for money. Now being a victim of some child abuse I could relate so it didn’t scare me, but I should have taken it as a red flag considering you’re telling me this when we literally just met in person once.

But date 2, the plan was we play retro video games on my laptop at her place and then eat food somewhere. Day of, she has a court date and says she’ll text me when to come over. Turns out her court date is against the husband she was forced to marry, so not good. I can’t really do anything as I am waiting for her text so I can come over. Not till 4pm do I get her text and naturally she’s not pleasant. I should have canceled, but no I’m too stubborn as I waited for the text.

So, I show up and she is literally in the fetal position crying. So, very awkward. I am awkwardly trying to comfort her. The she starts the whole “I am going to be alone forever. I really want a boyfriend. I’m too damaged. I want to be worshiped,” etc. Now that right there is cause to run away. Then she tells me she has bipolar disorder and has been off her meds for 2 weeks. Instead of leaving I somehow cheer her up, but I cheer her up too well and she starts to get manic and I can tell.

We go to walk her dog together and she continues that “I want a boyfriend who worships me and buys me things” In addition she starts saying some odd things like “I want to be daddy’s little girl in my next relationship” and an anti-Semitic thing telling me that a woman walking by is a Jewish whore repeatedly, but assures my she is not “anti-Jewish”. I would have left, but unfortunately my bag with my laptop is at her place.

We get back and she wants to play retro games and I can’t think of a reason to split, but she’s starting to get sexual saying what a butt plug is and insist I look it up on my phone. (I know what it is)

Then she cooks something for us. During the meal she tells me that she roofied the soup very serious and of course I panic. Then she laughs maniacally saying that she’ll lock me up in her closet, tie me up and feed me scraps. Again super panic, but then laughs maniacally again and says she was joking and states; “I can’t do anything to you as you would be flaccid and of no use.” (I don’t care if it is a man or woman, you don’t make that joke when you cook for a date at your place). She also threatens to spill the soup on me if I don’t drink the broth. I pretty much decide nope, I’m done. I don’t care if I’m rude. I get my things together, say it is getting late and I have to go. Before I do I go to the bathroom as it’s about 1hr to get back home. She literally follows me and asks to see me pee. I force her out and lock the door with her still trying to get in. I get done and she has her nightgown on when I get out and does the split and insists I feel how soft the silk is and her breasts. I’m sorry but just too much crazy for me to do that and as I’m leaving she proceeds to shake and randomly dance saying “Is it good for you?”

I was so glad when I made it back home safely and was not in fact roofied. A few days later she calls me and tells me she invited someone over from online and had unprotected sex with him and how badly she regrets it and how she loves getting attention from men, she feels horrible etc. So, yeah if any attraction to her didn’t die on the 2nd date, this about made sure any attraction was dead. I pretty much said “I really have no attraction to you whatsoever and if you want, let’s be friends and nothing more”, and said bye.

I never heard from her again thankfully. On one hand I do feel bad but on the other hand I have to look out for myself and she should be managing it and use her friends to tell things not someone she met only twice. Needless to say I pretty much took a break from dating.

 

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7 New Year’s Resolutions That Can Be Toxic AF, Because You Are Enough as You Are

http://va.topbuzz.com/s/ZcMTxcp

 

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