Phicklephilly – 2019 – 1000 Posts! – We Did It!!!

“If you live a life that is without the elements of who you really are you will never be happy.”

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I’ve just been notified by WordPress that after 2 1/2 years of writing this blog I’ve written a 1000 posts!!!

It’s been an incredible journey to finally be writing again. I started out in this life as an artist. Then a musician, and then a writer.

But life, marriage, a child, and a career removed me from all of that. Other people needed me and the bills had to be paid.

But after 10 years I decided to write again.

I created Phicklephilly in the spring of 2016 and then did nothing.

By the fall I asked myself, is this something you’re going to talk about in bars with your friends and never do? I had discussed the notion of writing a blog about my life with many of my friends. One who is a better and more visceral writer than myself.

But I started to write.

I published a post about a waitress I had been infatuated with for some time on a Monday.

I worried no one would read it or like it. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to come up with content every Monday.

But I did.

Then I started writing updates for a Wednesday release.

Once the wheel started to roll, I did what needed to be done.

I wrote.

Writing is a hard lonely existence.

It’s something that you have to push yourself to do. Especially in the beginning. But like anything you really want you push yourself to do.

You begin a fitness program and you stick with it. The muscles grow and the fat disappears. You keep at it and then it gets easier.

I started to write like mad. Cranking out content until I had something happening  few times a week.

 

Then I found other things I liked and started to write about them. The Tanning salon, Tales of Rock, Crazy dates I’d been on in the past. Celebrities I’d met, and most of all, past relationships.

Some beautiful. Some bittersweet.

I’m not a great writer, but I kept at it. Like a pilot, I put in a certain number of hours until the plane called Phicklephilly soared.

And now here I am with all of you my loyal followers and readers after two and a half  years of writing.

1000 posts and over 50,000 views!

I couldn’t be happier.

 

If you want to do something, don’t talk about it. Like Nike says: Just do it.

Write everyday.

Push yourself. Who cares who reads it. Just create and express yourself.

 

I GUARANTEE  you that if you start writing and keep at it, the rewards will be like pieces of gold falling into your lap.

When you write from the heart and tell the truth about everything in your life, (Not everything. Keep some of yourself for yourself. That belong to you.)  You will find this liberating weight lifted from your shoulders.

Get it all out. The good, the bad and the ugly. Don’t be afraid. It’s just words. But it will lighten the load you’ve been carrying around your whole life.

Once you write it down and publish it… It’s gone but not invisible. But it’s out of you for the first time in your life. It’s now safely on the paper. You can understand what you’ve experienced so much better once you write about it.

You can look back on your work and your life and it’ so much easier to process, forgive and understand.

 

Writing Phicklephilly has been the most singular liberating experience of my adult life.

 

And there is so much more to tell.

I have so much more to say.

Knowing that these stories are now out on the internet forever. Even after I’m dead it is comforting.

Because they are no longer my responsibility. WordPress carries the weight for me now.

But by writing all of these stories guarantees my immortality.

 

I don’t need that, but it’s so much to live a simple, happy, and uncluttered life once you write.

I love most of what I’ve written. Everybody knows I hate writing dating and relationship advice but I found a way to keep it going for my readers who enjoy it.

I think my followers now know that I write Phicklephilly because of my simple love of creating. I’ve always been that way since I was a child. Drawing a picture. Sculpting something out of clay. Writing a song. Writing a book and a screenplay. Creating a comic strip.

I am an entity that apparently must always be creating and am happiest when I’m doing that very thing.

“If you live a life that is without the elements of who you really are you will not be happy.”

I feel happier than I have ever felt in my entire life.

I’ve lived a big exciting life. I’ve done a lot and experienced much. But it really comes down to a few simple components for me and please take heed if you wish.

  1. Your health is essential. You have that. you’re already winning.
  2. Surround yourself with good people. Whether they are friends, family or even some wonderful pet companions.
  3. Have something to do every day that you like to do. If you hate your job, find a better one that suits your life needs. It’s a third of your life, work. Why spend your day being miserable? Do something you don’t hate every day. It’s a short life. Enjoy yourself!
  4. To love and be loved. This is a tough one. Most people need this one. Love yourself and find someone else to love. If they love you back… Awesome!
  5. Have something to look FORWARD to. I don’t care what it is. Just have something. Brunch with a friend, a red envelope arriving from Netflix, a party, a day off, something you want to do that you made time to do. 

 

That’s it.

The rest is just stuff and bullshit.

Focus on the top 5.

 

Thank you one and all for taking the time out of your busy lives to take the time to read my little blog about dating, relationships and a bunch of stuff from my life.

I wish I could throw a big party and invite each and every one of you and we could all hang out and really get to know one another.

I’ve had the joy to become friends with some of the other talented writers on WordPress and it has been an absolute delight.

So many great people on here.

I also really appreciate my friends who have read and have subscribed to Phicklephilly. I love knowing they are here with me on this journey of self discovery and I hope some of this will inspire them to push forward on their lives.

Two and a half years ago there was nothing. I decided to start to write and now this is here.

You can create anything you want. You just have to do it and do it every day.

Look what can happen if you put your mind to something.

I’m still going to try in 2019 to get a couple of books published on Amazon Kindle this year!

 

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!

 

Anything can be done, and you can do it too.

Please reach out to me for anything. I’ll always get back to as fast as I can.

 

My heart is full of love.

 

Life is good and my daughter Lorelei is healthy and happy, so that’s all I need.

 

Thank you one and all. This means the world to me and I hope you continue to enjoy the content I provide in 2019 and beyond!

 

There’s so much more to the story!!!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly

 

Nina – Off Her Meds

I met Nina on POF a few years ago. We talk on the phone and she is relatively normal albeit somewhat shallow. Before the 1st date she sends a nude pic, which I was like, ok she must be interested but she tells me she’s a virgin. The 1st date went well and again seemed relatively normal with some quirks that I found cute, but we don’t have sex or kiss except her hugging me and kissing me on the cheek No red flags.

So, 2nd date is a yes for me and her.

A few days before the 2nd date meeting she texts and says how bummed she is cause she went on another date a few days after our 1st and he rejected her (For me no big deal we only had 1 date & I was lining out a date with another woman). Then she proceeds to tell me about her past which is beyond messed up loaded with physical and sexual abuse and a forced marriage by her parents for money. Now being a victim of some child abuse I could relate so it didn’t scare me, but I should have taken it as a red flag considering you’re telling me this when we literally just met in person once.

But date 2, the plan was we play retro video games on my laptop at her place and then eat food somewhere. Day of, she has a court date and says she’ll text me when to come over. Turns out her court date is against the husband she was forced to marry, so not good. I can’t really do anything as I am waiting for her text so I can come over. Not till 4pm do I get her text and naturally she’s not pleasant. I should have canceled, but no I’m too stubborn as I waited for the text.

So, I show up and she is literally in the fetal position crying. So, very awkward. I am awkwardly trying to comfort her. The she starts the whole “I am going to be alone forever. I really want a boyfriend. I’m too damaged. I want to be worshiped,” etc. Now that right there is cause to run away. Then she tells me she has bipolar disorder and has been off her meds for 2 weeks. Instead of leaving I somehow cheer her up, but I cheer her up too well and she starts to get manic and I can tell.

We go to walk her dog together and she continues that “I want a boyfriend who worships me and buys me things” In addition she starts saying some odd things like “I want to be daddy’s little girl in my next relationship” and an anti-Semitic thing telling me that a woman walking by is a Jewish whore repeatedly, but assures my she is not “anti-Jewish”. I would have left, but unfortunately my bag with my laptop is at her place.

We get back and she wants to play retro games and I can’t think of a reason to split, but she’s starting to get sexual saying what a butt plug is and insist I look it up on my phone. (I know what it is)

Then she cooks something for us. During the meal she tells me that she roofied the soup very serious and of course I panic. Then she laughs maniacally saying that she’ll lock me up in her closet, tie me up and feed me scraps. Again super panic, but then laughs maniacally again and says she was joking and states; “I can’t do anything to you as you would be flaccid and of no use.” (I don’t care if it is a man or woman, you don’t make that joke when you cook for a date at your place). She also threatens to spill the soup on me if I don’t drink the broth. I pretty much decide nope, I’m done. I don’t care if I’m rude. I get my things together, say it is getting late and I have to go. Before I do I go to the bathroom as it’s about 1hr to get back home. She literally follows me and asks to see me pee. I force her out and lock the door with her still trying to get in. I get done and she has her nightgown on when I get out and does the split and insists I feel how soft the silk is and her breasts. I’m sorry but just too much crazy for me to do that and as I’m leaving she proceeds to shake and randomly dance saying “Is it good for you?”

I was so glad when I made it back home safely and was not in fact roofied. A few days later she calls me and tells me she invited someone over from online and had unprotected sex with him and how badly she regrets it and how she loves getting attention from men, she feels horrible etc. So, yeah if any attraction to her didn’t die on the 2nd date, this about made sure any attraction was dead. I pretty much said “I really have no attraction to you whatsoever and if you want, let’s be friends and nothing more”, and said bye.

I never heard from her again thankfully. On one hand I do feel bad but on the other hand I have to look out for myself and she should be managing it and use her friends to tell things not someone she met only twice. Needless to say I pretty much took a break from dating.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly

7 New Year’s Resolutions That Can Be Toxic AF, Because You Are Enough as You Are

http://va.topbuzz.com/s/ZcMTxcp

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly

14 of the Weirdest, Craziest, Philly-est Stories from 2018

Greased poles, profane potholes, farm animals roaming the city. Just another year in Philadelphia.

https://billypenn.com/2018/12/27/14-of-the-weirdest-craziest-philly-est-stories-from-2018/

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly

Phicklephilly Reaches 50,000 Views!

Oh my God!

We did it!

After two and a half years and 942 blog posts I have miraculously reached 50,000 views on phicklephilly!!!

This is the best Christmas gift that I could have imagined this holiday season.

When I started this I never thought it would reach such heights.  I didn’t even know what I was doing. I just wanted to create again after not writing for over 10 years.

I was inspired by a lovely, charming waitress and a guy I worked with who said I should write about all of the ladies in my life.

It started out once a week on Mondays. I wrote about a waitress I was infatuated with at the time. (See: Maria – Amor En Vano)

Maria has become my muse and the ongoing inspiration for this blog.

The best part of that relationship is that we’re friends but rarely hang out. There’s no romantic connection and that’s what keeps it healthy. I could never get involved with her because we live in two different worlds.

When I see Maria, it’s the very best of Maria. I don’t ever experience the other aspects of her life. I’m sure they are extremely challenging for my muse. Life is complicated and confounding to my muse as she navigates the minefield of her life in the service industry and her romantic entanglements.

She has limitless value to me, but I never experience the darker aspects of her life.

It may seem one-sided but that’s how it’s best suited for our current relationship. She lives her life and I live mine. Completely different. I never see her struggles. I only hear about them.

Granted, I’m always available to help her in any way I can and I’m willing to help her in any way I can.

But for the most part when I see her it’s “Greatest Hits.”

 

I’ll be spending Christmas day going through all of my contacts to try to find her a marketing gig at an agency somewhere in the city.

I want to do it. I want my muse to be happy and successful. She’s been through too much. I have very little invested in her. But her presence has been the trigger that ignited this blog so I must honor her.

Maria needs to do nothing.

The train that is phicklephilly is already rolling down the track and has been for the last two years. (27,000 visitors and 50,000 views!)

She’s my inspiration! I have to help her!

The beauty of all of this is for once the muse doesn’t become the girlfriend. That’s where the problems always start.

I’m in a better place than I’ve ever been and my creative work continues to flourish. Whatever was inspired two years ago worked!

 

I remember when I created the first skeleton of phicklephilly I had no clue what I was doing or where I was going. I knew I had to start dating again, (Ugh) and knew I needed content.

I created the blog and that was a huge first step. But actually, that’s the easy part.

You can sign up for any writing site on the internet and they’ll pretty much effortlessly walk you through it.

What it really comes down to after that is up to you.

I created phicklephilly in July of 2016.

I never wrote a word until September.

The whole summer went by with me having a blog and not doing anything about it. Pretty much a bit more of what I’d done for the last 10 years.

Nothing.

I asked myself, “Is this going to be another thing you talk about with people you know at lunch and over drinks and never do?

I paused and thought about Maria. A beautiful, sweet woman from humble beginnings like myself, that was self-made. A woman who told herself that she was determined to get her marketing degree and rise above her current vocation.

Am I going to write and create again, or am I just going to talk about it over beers with a bunch of people and never do it?

That would be easy and dumb.

I know people who are far better than me in regard to the written word.

I discussed what I was going to do. They said I had inspired them to write again too.

Here’s the difference.

They are stuck in their lives and will NEVER take pen to paper ever again.

That’s fine. It has no effect on my life. But I needed to evolve and start creating again. I’ve done art. I’ve done music. Writing should be easy if I just put my mind to it.

Anyone who is reading this who writes knows it’s not easy.

You have to find your space and be alone and bang out a 1000 words about whatever. Fuck writers block. You just have to be alone and create. You do it every day and crank out the art.

Like a ballerina, she takes classes every day. My father once said, if you want to be a painter, go paint every day. Well I like to create and I write everyday.

I was chatting with my sister Gabrielle at the holiday party on Sunday, and I was telling her about what’s coming out in 2019.

“How do you have the time to come up with so much material and stories to have it come out everyday, twice a day?”

“I like to work and be busy, but in my down time instead of sitting around or blowing money doing anything else, I write. When I’m off I edit or create. It’s not hard if you put your mind to it.”

Nothing’s hard if you put your mind to it.

That’s how everything has been accomplished in the world.

Most people just go to work and then do a bunch of other things that don’t evolve them and they wonder why they’re going nowhere or attach themselves to things they think will make them happy but it’s all a fail.

Put something on Earth that wasn’t here before you got here.

Tell your story.

If you’re serious you’ll do it.

If you want my help. I’ll help you.

Everybody needs a mentor.

Me included.

 

Happy Holidays! Thank you one and all for all the views and comments and follows. phicklephilly has grown beyond anything I could have imagined.

 

Thank you, Maria for your inspiration!

 

I’m going to try to write this damn thing until the day I die.

 

I hope you all enjoy all of the new aspects I’ve added in 2019.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly                  Instagram@phicklephilly

Christmas – 2018 and Beyond – Part 1

For Janice

 

It’s the holiday season, and with that comes a bit of emotion.

I remember talking to a friend of mine a few years ago and asking him how he was feeling about the approaching holiday season.

“I’m not that into it this year.”

Neither was I.

But that was back in 2014 when he was struggling with his marriage and my ex-wife was hell-bent on suing me for 6 months of back child support from 2004.

But all of that is gone now.

 

Rittenhouse Park is beautiful. Lights hanging from the trees and the lovely Christmas tree at the center of it all.

All of that nonsense has been settled, but I find myself today trying to get into the Christmas spirit. The weather has been fair, and I see the Christmas lights in the Square  but it still doesn’t feel like Christmas.

I’m waiting for that surge. It should happen because for once I’m not suffering at the hands of some entity.

I spoke to another dear friend of mine and he was in the same state. He said that he and his girlfriend had begun decorating but he wasn’t quite there either.

I started watching Christmas shows on Netflix and Amazon Prime and listening to Christmas music, but still… not that spiritual pull that I was expecting.

I was wondering, what was up this year?

I don’t have any challenges and things seem good, so why can’t I get into it and feel the joy of the Christmas season this year?

 

I’ll tell you why.

 

Because for the first time in my life I realized I’m filled with the Christmas spirit every day of the year now.

Yeah.

The curse that has had its grip on me my entire life has been lifted.

 

All of the bad relationships, depression, anxiety, crazy girls, debt, stuff, dumb assets, shitty jobs and crappy people are all gone.

 

My life is simple and happy now.

 

There’s an elegance in that.

 

My daughter Lorelei has lived with me for the last 4 years. She did it to escape the clutches of her mother and has flourished here in Philly. She has a great job! She’s been in a healthy relationship with her boyfriend for nearly 4 years and he’s a great boy. I love that guy. He’s good to her and that works for me. As long as baby’s happy, I’m happy.

I like my job and all is well. I like my co-workers. I’ve been told we’re the best team they’ve ever had.

Words like that mean so much.

So I’ve been wondering about the whole Christmas spirit thing this year.

 

But it’s already been here, all year-long.

 

My friends, my wonderful family, my daughter, my work, just my life in general.

The reason I’m struggling to get into it is because I’ve been in it all year the whole time!

There’s no Christmas spirit I need to “get into.” It’s already present everyday!

That’s why I’ve been searching for it with Christmas carols and movies and twinkling lights.

There’s no need.

I live in Christmas now. The simplicity of my life is beautiful for the very first time. No more problems. No more challenging relationships or negativity to deal with anymore.

All of it…. is long gone.

 

But Someday…

 

I’ll be long gone.

 

But today, in this moment, I’m looking forward to seeing my sister Janice and the rest of my sisters and family at her annual holiday party.

It’s actually close to Christmas this year and that will make it even better.

That gathering IS my Christmas now.

It’s the only living relic of what Christmas is, or was in my family. Jan has done it perfectly for more years than I can remember. I love that I can always count on the consistency of that event and how it’s so perfect and fun every year.

I remember going to holiday events when I was a kid. There were your sisters and your cousins. There were your parents. There were your aunts, uncles, and your grandparents there.

A lot of old people. Kind of boring and you had to be on your best behavior.

But now I attend this event and I see how life has changed.

 

Life does what it does.

 

Everything that begins… ends.

 

But it’s not over yet and hopefully this tradition will be carried on somehow through the family.

I stand in my sister Janice’s kitchen and realize that now my sisters, cousins, I are now the senior members of this tribe.

We are surrounded by beautiful young people.

 

We, are now the elders.

 

My daughter, my nieces and nephews…. all beautiful young people looking forward in their lives. We, are now our parents, and at some point may become our grandparents.

Life rolls on and there’s no way to stop it. So you should think about that and think about how precious TIME is.

Embrace it.

My father used to say: “Befriend Time.”

I know what he meant: Time is something that should always be close to your heart. Because life is fleeting. What you’re enjoying today or even if you’re struggling it may be gone in a year from now. For no reason… other than time.

If you’re suffering from a break up or a lost friend, please know that the only thing beyond all of your friends and therapy that will fix you is TIME.

It fixes everything and you have no control over it. You simply have to live and keep going.

Go forward no matter what.

If you feel like you’re trapped in a relationship, or a marriage or a job, take a moment and think about your prison.

Please.

You can let go of the bars and watch as they fall away and you can walk right out of that prison.

You are the one holding onto those bars.

 

I can’t wait to see my family this holiday season. When I look into my cousin’s eyes I see my Uncle Jack and still miss him.

 

I miss you too, Mom and Dad so much!

You both gave us the most wonderful christmas’s that most children could only dream of. My sisters and I will carry those memories and cast them into our own children.

Thank you so much.

You were both so perfect in those moments.

 

Every Christmas morning was absolute magic.

 

 

But there’s more… (But it’s just stuff)

In addition to trying to get into the Christmas spirit I’ve been actively searching for Christmas music and new Christmas shows. I’ve seen and experienced everything Christmas in my 50 years on this planet. I watched the Christmas Chronicles, (Great. Love Kurt Russell.  Christmas with a View. Hot girl but clunky dialog and a predictable ending. The Princess Switch. LOVE. So fun, I adore Vanessa Hudgens and her world-class legs, but it’s a nice film and had my heart from start to finish.) Check ’em out. They’re all fun. (I’m becoming and old softy!)

 

Anyway… I’m really looking forward to seeing my family today.

 

Who knew I’d be trying to find out why I wasn’t in the Christmas spirit when it had been in me all along?

 

In this moment. This joyous fleeting day…

 

In a short amount of time…

 

This moment at my sister’s….

 

In a short amount of time….will all seem like a long time ago.

 

 

Merry Christmas to one and all!

Health and happiness to you and all of your families this holiday season.

Thank you for being a part of my life here on Phicklephillly.

It means the world to me.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly              Instagram@phicklephilly      Twitter: @phicklephilly