Sun Stories: Cassie – Chapter 1 – The Stewardess

It’s the busy season at the the salon. We’re mobbed every night. That’s why I need Amelia and Eileen to help me. They’re the best hires we’ve ever had and I adore them both.

I usually leave the girls to work the front counter because as long as I’ve been here I’m accustomed to doing everything. So when it gets crazy busy in here, I’m happy to just run around and clean beds and not have to deal with all of the complicated intake. That’s great practice for the girls, because that’s the nuts and bolts of the job and will make them more independent of me and they’ll be able to run the salon without me.

Unlike in my past corporate jobs, I as a leader train my employees to walk where I walk, not where I point. The more they know and the more efficient they become, the more valuable they become to the company. In the rat race I usually worked for loser no talents that had just been there longer than anybody else because they were mentally incapable of getting a better job so they became middle managers.

Losers. When they met me they saw the talent and they held it down. They spent most of their time having meetings and controlling the staff and pretending to do their jobs and justifying their positions.

I’ve always been a shark. Let me swim and I’ll run down and kill the accounts all day long. It’s not about the money, it’s just low self esteem and talent to be number one because your father told you were a loser.

I’m a deadly sales guy who will work until they pat me in the face with a shovel.

I happened to be at the front counter with Eileen for a moment last week when an attractive 30 year old, brown eyed, fit, blonde, came in to tan. She said she was a transplant from California. I was running my usual program of charm on her and wine had been discussed.

She lit up when I mentioned, oceans of free chardonnay.

“I’m a flight attendant and I’ve been recently sent here to be in Philly as my hub.”

Oh, baby seal that knows nothing about the city or where to drink?

“Oh, I love that. Flight attendant. You’re not around all of the time!”

I have to be honest, that would be a good gig for me. I love my time alone.

I can see we’re connecting and shes giggling. I can add her to my circle. Maybe.

A week passes and she appears again.

“Hey. I just got in from L.A. How are you?”

“I’m good. Great to see you.”

“You too.”

I walk her back to her room. “I’m actually off Saturday, (phenomenon because I’m always working) If you’d like we could meet up for a drink. Your new in town and i know all the good spots.”

“That would be awesome. Text me on Saturday.”

Cassie seems great. We actually joked about how I had lost a friend with her same name because she moved away and it almost seemed like she wanted to be the new Cassie.

I miss the real one, but maybe this girl will be a sweet band aid for a few drinks.

I push her my contact info and leave it at that. I’m 55, she’s 31 (allegedly) so we’re still stretching it on a newbie.

She gets back to me before she exits the sunbed. This is a good sign.

I’m not looking for anything, but I just love the energy and the game of meeting someone new.

I discover I’m off Saturday.

I’m going to text Cassie and see if she’d like to meet me for a drink.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Is Dating Safe During The Coronavirus Outbreak? Here’s How To Do It

In an effort to slow the spread of coronavirus, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) are encouraging people to practice “social distancing,” a term that refers to making a conscious effort to reduce close contact with others. If that phrase makes you feel 10 times lonelier, you aren’t the only one. But for the sake of keeping yourself and those in your community healthy, it’s best to avoid non-essential hangouts and hookups. It’s possible to date safely during the coronavirus outbreak, but it requires a little creativity and flexibility… not to mention WiFi.

The CDC’s most recent guidelines at the time of publication note that the virus spreads primarily through contact between people who are within six feet of each other and is carried via respiratory droplets (from coughing and sneezing, for example). The CDC recommends canceling or postponing gatherings of 50 or more people, and several city and state governments have mandated the cease of large-scale events, as well as the temporary closure of restaurants and bars. Additionally, Belgian economist Andreas Backhaus analyzed data comparing COVID-19 cases in Italy and South Korea and found that young people (ages 20 – 29) are often asymptomatic carriers — meaning they feel healthy, but can still pass the virus to other people.

That’s why many immunologists and officials recommend avoiding non-essential contact with others. “The need to practice social distancing is something we all should do to reduce the spread,” Vincent Racaniello, Ph.D, a Columbia professor of microbiology and immunology, tells Elite Daily. “Most people will only have mild disease, but the concern is that older people, or those with health problems, will have serious disease requir[ing] hospitalization. We do not want to overburden hospitals, because if they are, they won’t be able to provide proper care.”

It may not be worth putting yourself and others at risk in order to meet new people right now, but if you’re DTF (and here, that means down to flirt), you have options.

“Humans are social creatures and during this period of physical isolation, people are looking for alternative ways to socialize,” says Lyndsey Wheeler, co-founder of Here/Now, a dating company that organizes singles’ mixers. “Dating shouldn’t have to stop just because we can’t go out to bars or restaurants.”

Here’s how to keep your love life fun while practicing social distancing.

Make The Most Of Dating Apps

Kaitlyn McQuin@kaitlynmcquin

You know who’s really gonna suffer during this social distancing?

Dudes on dating apps

Welcome back to courtship, Brad. Welcome back to talking to a gal for WEEKS prior to meeting.

We’re pen pals now, my dude.

We bout to get Jane Austen up in here.

Now, write me a poem.

77.5K people are talking about this

Let’s be real, a good chunk of your love life has probably always revolved around the internet. So this should come as second nature to you: It’s 100% safe to swipe for hours and flirt endlessly with cute strangers from the safety and comfort of your own couch. In these strange times, nothing is hotter than a person who can woo you with words. Don’t be afraid to make the first move and send over a swoon-worthy compliment. Get creative and fire off cheeky banter. Ask thought-provoking questions to keep the conversation flowing.

Flirt Over Video Chat

Sweet quotes for V-day Instagram captions.
Shutterstock

Rather than meeting up for a date, consider a FaceTime date instead. “It’s one way to stay connected to real people without having to meet in the physical world,” a rep for Bumble previously told Elite Daily. Rather than struggling to hear your date over a crowded bar and doing the awkward wallet dance at the end of the night, you each bring your own beverages or snacks to your computer or phone and get to know each other online.

If you’re a college student, you can sign up for Love Over Zoom, the brainchild of two Yale computer science majors that uses an algorithm to match up students around the country for Zoom dates. Ileana Valdez, one of the co-founders, previously told Elite Daily, “Because we were going to be isolated, it was OK to ‘shoot your shot’ and be brave about dating.”

If you’re in New York or Los Angeles, Here/Now is offering virtual mixers of 10 people at a time on the evenings of March 17, 18, and 19. “We’ll curate the group, invite everyone to set the vibe in their own living rooms (for example, light a candle and pour themselves a drink), have a host present to guide the experience, and put people into a series of short one-on-one conversations to get to know each other better,” Wheeler explains. “Afterwards, we’ll help connect anyone who felt a mutual spark so they can keep up the virtual hangs until we’re able to meet IRL once again.”

While it might feel weird at first to conduct your entire dating life from the safety of your own home, the very first eHarmony and Tinder users probably felt the same way back in the day — and now, dating sites and apps have transformed dating for good. Love Is Blind recently demonstrated just how powerful conversation can be. By the time the threat of this outbreak passes, you might have already met the Cameron to your Lauren. Stay safe, friends.

If you think you’re showing symptoms of coronavirus, which include fever, shortness of breath, and cough, call your doctor before going to get tested. If you’re anxious about the virus’s spread in your community, visit the CDC for up-to-date information and resources, or seek out mental health support.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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21 Messages To Send Someone You Matched With Months Ago, To Reconnect

Sometimes, you match with a cutie, and before you can even overthink what you’re going to say, you drop a witty first line just to get the conversation rolling. Of course, other times, you match with a cutie, and as you’re drafting your opening message, your Postmates order arrives, your mom calls, and you completely forget to start the convo. You might even be too nervous to ever break the ice! Whatever the case, if you’re thinking about finally hitting up that online meet-cute, these messages to send someone you matched with months ago will make it feel like no time has passed at all.

Although digital messaging can make conversations lighting-fast, there’s nothing wrong with waiting a little while before sending the first message. Whether you weren’t sure what to say at the time or took a little break from the online dating game, reconnecting with an old match can be easier than you may think. From asking about their day to making a joke about meeting online, there are tons of funny and low-key ways to message a match from months ago.

And if you’re looking for some #inspo, here are 21 messages to send an old match to get some new conversations started.

Woman texting in a smartphone - Christmas and Winter Season

Shutterstock

  1. Going to Trader Joe’s, you need anything?
  2. Hey, I know we connected a while back, but I was just looking through my matches, and you really jumped out at me.
  3. Have you seen *topical movie* yet?!
  4. I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you, my phone died for three months.
  5. Wow, I just woke up from the longest nap ever. How are you doing?!
  6. You’ll never guess what happened to me today.
  7. So, come here often?
  8. *Spotify link* I can’t stop listening to this! What have you been listening to lately?
  9. Has anything exciting happened since we matched?
  10. Not for nothing, but how is it possible that you’ve gone so long without messaging me?
  11. I mean, I’ve been waiting for you to message me, but I guess I’ll get the ball rolling.
  12. This is #random, but were you just at the yoga studio next to the downtown Target?
  13. Should I start this conversation with a bad pickup line or by saying hello?
  14. I’m making the first move with this message, and, honestly, you’re welcome.
  15. I see we’re in a pretty heated game of Who Can Go Longer Without Messaging The Other. I guess I just lost.
  16. Um, if you had the time to match back, how come you’ve never found the time to ask for my number?
  17. I’m not great at starting conversations. Do you want to try?
  18. Hey, I’m deleting this app soon, but you seem really cool! If you want to get a coffee sometime, here’s my number.
  19. So, I guess we’ll tell our kids we matched and never talked until I eventually reached out to you?
  20. So… how’s it going?
  21. How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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13 Naughty Ways to Get Out of the Friend Zone In No Time

You’ve just been put into one of the worst places you can be: the friend zone. Here’s what you can do to get out of the friend zone, in no time at all!

Being in the friend zone is one of the hardest places to be—for a lot of reasons. Not only is it a blow to your ego, but you also can’t really show that much emotion about it without looking like a crazy person.

For those of you unfamiliar with the friend zone, lucky you! However, I’ll explain it for you: the friend zone is when the person you have romantic feelings for only thinks of you as a friend. This can often stop someone from expressing their real feelings, and perpetuate a one-sided romantic attraction.

The good thing about the friend zone is that you can be close to the person you like as much as you want. The bad thing is that this person might not even know they just put you in the friend zone, because they don’t know how you really feel!

How you can get out of the friend zone

I’m actually pretty guilty of putting guys in the friend zone without a second thought. BUT, I do have to put some of the blame on them, for not at least trying to get out. If they would have made any sort of effort in telling me how they felt, or pursuing me in any other way, I may have felt differently.

Usually, they seemed happy to be just my friend, and never tried for anything else. It was only later that they started complaining about it. So, we put together a list of ways you can sneak right out of the dreaded friend zone!

#1 Tell them how you feel. They could have put you in the friend zone without even knowing that you have feelings for them—which is NOT their fault. If you’re in the friend zone by default, because you couldn’t muster up the courage to tell them, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Who knows? They could have feelings for you, too.

#2 Show them how you feel. If telling them isn’t an option, because you’re scared, or nervous, or whatever lame excuse you have, show them how you feel. Act like you have feelings for them. Tell them you like their new haircut, or that the color of their shirt makes them look really good. Do things for them that show them you care more than a friend would.

#3 Make them see you in a romantic way. More than likely, you’ve shown them the more intimate side of yourself. Now, I’m not saying to go make out with them, or anything. But make them picture you being someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend.

For example, if they start telling you about how this person’s boyfriend did this, come back by saying, “If I had a boyfriend/girlfriend, this is what I would do.” It gets their mind thinking about the way you’ll treat your significant other.

#4 Don’t let them talk to you as a friend. People don’t talk to their friends like they do to their significant others. If that’s your end game, don’t let them talk to you like you’re their BFF. Don’t let them gossip about other love interests, or complain about them, either. Let them talk about anything BUT significant other problems. They’ll never think of you as a possible boyfriend or girlfriend if they talk to you about those issues—trust me.

#5 Figure out why they only like you as a friend, and fix it. Maybe you only treat them like a friend. Maybe they don’t think you’re that compatible. Whatever it is, there is probably a way to get around it. If they don’t think you’re compatible, for instance, you can make it a point to show them just how compatible the two of you really are.

#6 Make physical contact every now and then. No. I don’t mean go, slap their butt, and tell them they look nice. Not at all. Subtly and nonchalantly make a point to touch them from time to time. Establishing physical contact will make them see that you’re being a little more than friendly.

A great way to do this is to just pat them on the back as you come up behind them, or touch their shoulder when they’ve said something funny. Little things that close the gap between you will move you out of the friend zone.

#7 FLIRT WITH THEM. For the love of all that is holy, FLIRT WITH THEM! One of the only things that can differentiate someone from liking a person as a friend and liking them more than a friend is flirting. If you’re continuously flirting with someone, you will send them a clear message that you like them romantically.

Not only that, but by flirting, you’re also opening up the opportunity for them to flirt back. This is a great way to lightly exchange some fun conversation that isn’t drawing attention to the fact that you’re stuck in the friend zone.

#8 Make them miss you. One thing that happens a lot of the time is that the people who put you in the friend zone don’t realize their own feelings. I have actually been guilty of this, and it was too late for me to have him after he found someone else.

I didn’t realize I felt that way until he was relatively out of my life. So, take a break. Don’t act mad, or anything, but just be busy. Be busy enough that they’re coming to you to hang out or to see what’s up.

#9 Casually compliment them out of nowhere. Perfectly placed compliments can go a long way to get you out of the friend zone. Telling them they look great when they’re wearing grubby clothes shows them that you find them attractive, even when they’re not all done up. They’ll appreciate this.

Compliments can also help, because people ALWAYS feel the need to compliment you back—which means they will be looking for something attractive about you. It’s literally giving them a reason to look at your best attributes.

#10 Surprise them with something subtle, but sweet. Surprising them with something that they wouldn’t expect you to remember is a perfect way for them to see how much you really care, and they will start to care about you because of your kindness.

Try bringing them their favorite cookies *that no one else but you knows they love*. This is a perfect way to sneak even more out of the friend zone!

#11 Do things for them that you would do for a boyfriend/girlfriend. If you really want to get out of the friend zone, then stop acting like you’re in it. Act like they’re your boyfriend or girlfriend. Treat them like you would your significant other, and you’ll be surprised how easily you can slide out of that zone.

#12 Realize that it might not have anything to do with YOU. Sometimes, you may be in the friend zone, simply because they aren’t in a place in their life that they can be dating or having a significant other. If you realize that and back off, they will notice and appreciate that, and then who knows? Maybe down the road, they’ll remember you being understanding, and it’ll make them like you more.

#13 Accept only having friendship. Sometimes, if you really want someone to see you as more than a friend, the best way to do that is to just accept that you can’t have them. This will lead you to forget about how you’re acting, what you’re doing, and you’ll just be yourself. That could really end up changing how that person feels about you.

 

Being in the friend zone doesn’t have to be a permanent sentence. If you’re trying to claw your way out of this dreaded zone, you’ll need these 13 tips to help you get out.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

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50 of the Most Miserably Unfortunate Names Ever to Bestowed Upon People

Having grown up with a last name that is often mocked for having components of phallic innuendo, I can relate to these poor souls a little bit. Like I can’t even imagine what kind of verbal abuse they went through growing up.

I like to imagine each of them lead lives similar to the Boy Named Sue.

From Ben Dover to Richard Johnson, and every name in between, some parents just didn’t have enough forethought when they were choosing baby names, or they really didn’t care that their kid was going to get bullied constantly. But either way, its the parents’ fault. But if you thought these were bad, you should see how some of these people named their cats.

 

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Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

6 Ways To End A Sex Drought

When it rains, it pours. Here’s one I’ve had on the back burner for awhile from one of the ladies.

You hear it all the time, and the implication, of course, is that there’s also a flipside: When it’s dry, it’s dry for ages. This is especially true when it comes to sex. Often it feels like the only thing you need to get a guy’s attention is another guy’s attention. Conversely, when it’s been awhile since you’ve done, ahem, the deed, it can feel like it’ll never happen again. Which, of course, it will. It’s only a matter of time. After the jump, for your reading pleasure, a list of helpful tips to get the ol’ ball rolling again. By which I mean: LET’S GET YOU LAID. It’s been too long.

1. Maintain realistic expectations. First things first: Stop looking for your future husband. We’re not out to find you Mr. Perfect, we’re looking to get you laid. Find someone to whom you’re attracted, someone you think is a decent guy. That’s all. You don’t need identical value systems, you don’t have to be on the same page about kids, you don’t need to worry if he’s unemployed. Here’s your one and only guiding line: “I’m looking for someone attractive and kind. I’m going forth. And conquering.”

2. Embrace casual sex. It’s 2020. Let go — if you haven’t all ready — of the double standards put upon women who have casual sex. If you want it, have it. (And safely, of course.) Put all your energy into enjoying yourself (and kicking idiotic terms like “slut” to the curb).

3. Travel. Now, when I say travel, I’m talking as big or small as you want to go. Travel to the new bar that’s 20 minutes from your home instead of 10. Travel to that resort you keep meaning to check out that’s two hours away. Travel across the country. Go to Europe, for god’s sake! Put yourself in a situation that lets you be the new girl. It’s not just that you’re meeting new people — it’s that on levels both conscious and not, you’re expanding your mind and broadening your horizons, and all those sorts of things will create a new level of openness that will only have a positive effect. Are we talking Break-a-Budget-That-You-Can’t-Afford? No. We’re talking figure out what you can afford, and spend it on new sights and experiences.

4. Use Facebook or Twitter to your advantage. We need to make sure people know you’re single and looking. So start using those status updates to just that sort of positive effect! Wait for an instance wherein you’re in a zone of loving your single-dom, e.g. you’re glammed-up and out with your gal pals, and post a tweet or status update wherein you bravely address it. I’m talking something in the spirit of, “The single gals at the restaurant are always the ones laughing the hardest!” In short, don’t be afraid to speak of your single-dom in an online setting. It serves you well to embrace, announce, and relish the status just as often as you can.

5. Tell the elderly. Listen: I’ve gotten more dates from keeping the elderly abreast of my single-gal status than pretty much anywhere else. I swear! I’m talking my grandmother, my grandmother’s friends, and various elderly neighbors. These women have been around a long time, they’ve got a wide network, and they spend a decent portion of their day chitting and chatting with friends. Here’s a group that loves — and I mean loves – to match-make.  They’re just the types you want looking out for you and your cause. The other thing is, and I know this is a broad generalization, but I have personally seen it proven time and again: These women tend to know The Nice Guys, — i.e., your Grandma’s BFF Agnes isn’t going to set you up with Mr. Rude Bartender. No. She’ll set you up with so-and-so’s son who went to overnight camp with her daughter’s daughter 20 years back, a guy who works presently with, oh I don’t know, web content. So the next time these women of a certain age approach you, slow down, settle in, and share your story!

6. Get out of the house! Arguably the most obvious of the points, but just as a healthy and helpful reminder: Your home is for having sex. Not finding sex. Take a moment and consider how many of your mundane, daily activities could be moved to various areas that get just a wee bit more foot traffic than your couch. For example, if you read your paper in the morning at your kitchen table, perhaps get in the habit of reading it over coffee at your local coffee shop. If, in the evening, you love whiling away the hours on the internet, maybe do so on your iPad at your local bar. What I’m saying is, it helps to be available for someone other than a Peeping Tom.

 

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How to Dirty Talk for Beginners

As straightforward as it sounds, dirty talking in bed can be intimidating. It’s a great way to spice up your sex life and turn on your partner, but knowing what to say and actually saying it are two very different things. It’s best to start simple before venturing into something really kinky, so if you’re planning on dirty talking the next time you have sex, try starting with these:

Compliments

An easy, straightforward way to start. And nothing turns you on more than knowing you’re doing a good job, right? “You’re so hot” and “I love it when you touch me like that” are good starting points.

Tell them what you want

Be bold and tell your partner exactly what you want them to do to you. Odds are it’ll turn them on more than you think, and they’ll know exactly how to please you. Try saying something like, “I want you to take control” or “touch me here.”

Talk about your fantasies

Dirty talk and fantasies often go hand in hand, and if you’re feeling bold, bringing up a fantasy is a good idea. As long as you and your partner feel comfortable around each other, why not bring up a fantasy you’ve always dreamed of?

Tell them what you will do

Don’t just do it to your partner- tell them what you will do first. Whisper what you’re about to do in your partner’s ear right before you do it and watch them light up before your eyes.

Describe how you feel

Be as vocal as you can be! Tell your partner how you honestly feel. The more honest it is, the easier it will come out. Try saying something like, “I like when you touch me like that” or “it feels so good when you…”

Don’t use words

Okay, this one is cheating because it’s not exactly “dirty talking,” but it will definitely turn your partner on! Moaning during sex is a super-easy way to venture into dirty talk because of how naturally it happens. Plus, it’s a great way to tell your partner they’re doing an excellent job without actually saying anything.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

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