8 Overrated Date Night Ideas That Aren’t Worth The Stress

If you and your partner pride yourselves on always thinking outside of the box, you may already be a little weary of overrated date night ideas. Whether dinner and a movie just don’t cut it or you’d rather wax your entire body than take a ride in a horse-drawn carriage, being in love can mean putting your own spin on how you spend time together. Of course, communication and transparency are key. And if you’re not into an idea for date night or you’d rather be doing something else, it’s always OK to (politely) say so. Your boo will probably be happy you did.

Maybe your partner likes to make a big show out of holidays, and you prefer to keep things low-key. Or perhaps you love to go hiking, but your partner’s idea of being outside is sitting on the patio at their favorite bar. Planning a special date night doesn’t have to mean dragging your boo somewhere they don’t want to be or pretending you like a bunch of stuff that you don’t actually like. It can look like being open and honest with each other about where your head is at.

Here are eight overrated date night ideas to skip when you’d rather be doing something else.

Group of young men and women enjoying summer holiday at outdoor party.
Shutterstock

1. A Group-Hang (When You Really Wanted A One-On-One)

Listen, you love your group of friends. Heck, you probably love your boo’s group of friends, too. They might even be the same group of friends! While it’s nice to spend time with all of the people you care about, it’s also OK to want a one-on-one night with your partner. Whether you haven’t seen them for a while or just really want to connect, you never need to feel pressure to do a group-hang when you really want a hot date night for two.

2. An Expensive Anniversary Dinner (When You’d Rather Cook At Home)

Relationship milestones can mean something different to everyone. Maybe you’re excited to celebrate your six-month anniversary, but don’t really care about your two, three, or four-month anniversary. Maybe you’ve been dating for so long that you can’t remember when you started. While it’s totally OK to go all-out for every anniversary, you don’t need to feel pressure to spend a bunch of money or make a huge gesture to acknowledge how long you’ve been in love. If you’d rather cook at home or order take-out to celebrate, you can create your own kind of traditions — including not celebrating at all.

3. An All-Out Valentine’s Day Celebration (When You Wanted Something Small)

Just as you can celebrate your personal anniversaries and milestones however the heck you want, you get to make the rules about how you navigate holidays. Maybe you skip a fancy V-Day date to volunteer at the animal shelter. Perhaps you’d rather spend the holiday with your sister than your partner. Whatever the case, you don’t need to have a glamorous or super romantic date night for each and every holiday. You can just do you.

4. Going To The Movies (When You Were Hoping To Talk)

If you and your boo are total cinephiles, you may love going to the movies together. However, if you like to talk during dates or you really were hoping to connect deeper with your partner, silently sitting facing forward in a dark room may not be the best space to do that. It’s OK to tell your SO that you’ll meet them after they go to the movies. It’s also OK to ask them to do something more interactive on your date, like mini-golf, pottery painting, or getting coffee and catching up. The world is your dating oyster.

Young couple watching a movie on their laptop in bed
Shutterstock

5. A Double-Date (When You Don’t Even Like The Other Couple)

You don’t have to like all of your partner’s friends. I’ll say it again: You. Don’t. Have. To. Like. All. Of. Your. Partner’s. Friends. Should you be polite to them? Probably — you should consider treating them with empathy and respect in the same way that you’d treat anyone else. But do you need to go on a double-date to a restaurant you don’t like on the other side of town with them? Why no, you most certainly do not.

6. A Nature Outing (When You Actually Hate The Outdoors)

Yes, relationships are all about compromise. Sometimes, you have to go to your partner’s sister’s baby shower instead of eating a breakfast burrito in bed because you’re working on connecting your families more. However, if you hate, hate, hate spending time outdoors, you don’t need to go on a “cute nature date” with your partner. In fact, if you really hate anything — shopping, French food, going to the gym, nature museums, board games, etc. — you don’t need to feel the pressure to “suck it up” or “just deal with it.” Your boo likes you for you. They don’t like you for pretending to be someone that you’re not. It’s OK to let your partner enjoy their hobbies with other people who enjoy them, too. Meet up after and do something you both like.

7. A “Chill” Night At Home (When You Wanted To Go Out)

OK, if your boo has the stomach bug and just got fired from their job, chances are they aren’t in the mood to take you out on the town. However, if anniversaries or birthdays are important to you, or you just got a promotion or internship, and you’re trying to celebrate, you don’t need to feel any pressure to “chill” when you’d rather go out. You’re not “needy” or “materialistic” for wanting to have a special night with the person you’re dating. It’s OK to want to make a big deal out of something, and it’s OK to want more out of date night than take-out and a movie. There are plenty of thoughtful date ideas that don’t break the bank, so communicate how you feel and open up a dialogue with your partner about settling on a compromise.

8. Doing Something For The ‘Gram (When You Want To Connect IRL)

There’s no shortage of Instagram-worthy moments that happen on date nights (think: rooftop bars, flower walls, and neon signs with arbitrary messages like, “Here You Are”). While sharing your joy on social media can be a sweet way to connect with your friends and family, you never need to feel any pressure to get the “perfect shot” on date night, or to even Instagram about your date at all. You and your boo can connect IRL, and that can be enough.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

Sun Stories: Eileen – Chapter 2 – Getting to Know You

I feel like when I was doing all of those things I was a ghost in my own life.

Eileen started tonight. She’s 18 and beautiful. You’ve been reading phicklephilly, I have to get to that.

She arrives and is wearing a grey shirt and tights. All of the girls wear that now. I have no idea why. It’s too revealing of their curves.

Imagination is the king of fantasy.

I have three sisters and a daughter that lives with me. Our salon is built on respect to women and that’s maybe one of the reasons they choose us. We’re all about respect. (Well that, and the best pricing and the best equipment in the city!)

It’s Thursday. I miss Amelia who is awesome. I love having her here to help me navigate the nights here at the salon. But tonight I get to meet my hire.

Eileen arrives. She is wearing a grey shirt and black tights. She looks fine to work here. It’s sporty and conservative. She’s fine.

When it’s super busy in here she’ll probably go with a tank top and shorts but I digress. (Kidding!)

Eileen is my hire. I chose her. I knew she was amazing from the start.

Eileen is beautiful. She’s studying criminal law at Drexel and is a freshman.

No worries. I’m training her and she’s following me around like a pup and cleaning beds.

Just so you all know. I’ve had many opportunities to exploit my underlings but I never did that. I learned that from my father, Because he ALWAYS did that. And my daughter Lorelei and I are too BARR, (My mother’s side of the family) to pull that shit)

Eileen is doing a great job. I adore her.

I’ve killed myself for so long over so many shifts. I’m just happy to have the help. I have Cherie. I’m not going to try to tap Eileen. She’s like a daughter or a niece for god’s sakes.

“My patents split up when I was 3.”

“Me too. Lorelei was three and a half.”

“I have a half-brother. He’s nine and looks just like me.”

Shows me pics and that kid looks a lot like her.

Cute kid.

I show her pics of my daughter.

I love being around lovely Eileen.

New people intrigue me and we need help. She’s so pretty. I love that I always liked that. I love the sound of her voice. So sweet and like a song. I’m happy she made the call to join our team.

Last year it was Summer and me. I love Summer. So efficient and cunning. I love her as friend and a co-worker. I miss her so much. (See: Sun Stories: Summer – Night Shift Girl)

“I had a sister who died when I was 9.”

“Oh my god. What happened?”

“She was born with a heart murmur. She had so many operations. It was so sad. She died after five weeks.”

“I’m so sorry. What a horrible way to come into the world if even for a brief time.”

“Yea. It was really sad. My mom still wears a little pendant with her name on it.”

We turn the conversation to happier thoughts.

The night passes and I’m training her on cleaning the beds, when and how to do the laundry, vacuuming the salon and folding the towels.

Eileen is a quick learn. I even notice she’s watching the computer screen intently while waiting to go clean the beds. That’s what we hired these girls for. Clean beds while I manage the salon, sales and the clients.

But while Eileen is standing there with her spray gun and towels, I notice her eyes are on every transaction I’m doing. She’s very visual and smart. She’s learning the system even on her first night wiping down beds.

She’s my hire. I chose her the minute I met her. She’s extraordinary. I can see she’s working out. An 18 year old teenager raised in the digital age. Her brain is wired to learn looking at a computer screen.

Me, the old horse, grew up in an age when there were no computers. Only books. I learn slowly. These kids today are like lightning. Say what you want about millenials. You just don’t understand them. You brought them into this world, but their learning abilities are beyond anything you know.

Sure they have no game, and no sense of direction, or spacial awareness. They are slaves to their phones, but they learn the software of anything faster than any of us born even 30 years ago because of technology.

Achilles always complained about his staff. They were a bunch of young girls he was paying $9 an hour. Of course she has the flu the day after St Patrick’s Day. They all would call out sick and were never reliable.

This crap went on for 10 years! He had three salons and he closed two of them because it was, “same headache, times 3” he said.

I get it. It’s hard to find good staff in the retail and hospitality industry industry. I never knew this because I worked in corporate america in banking and advertising my whole life. But for $9 an hour you’re going to get a lot of bubble head kids. It’s just the nature of the business.

But then he got me.

Everything changed.

He finally had an anchor. An older mature man that would give you the $80K employee experience for coolie wages. (As my mother would say)

I know he appreciated it and couldn’t believe his good fortune, but always treated me like any other employee. I get that. That’s all I wanted. I wanted to work. I realized after being in the rat race for my whole life that it was all folly.

The suit and ties. The houses, the cars, the marriage, the children, the stuff.

So much stuff.

I was living the life I thought I should be living to fit into some American dream.

It’s all bullshit.

All of it.

Lies.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s good to work hard and make money and move up and build a life for yourself.

You make more money, and become an executive and get a good pretty wife and a house and a mortgage, but is that what you really want?

We all follow the same path our parents did. Just that. But does it work for all of us?

Not so much. But we get caught up in it because that’s what we’re taught. We’re children and we are told by our elders that it’s the key to a happy and secure life.

Bullshit.

Work hard. Eat shit sandwiches in a job you hate, sacrifice your happiness, and make a bunch of money and secure a bunch of STUFF.

Stuff and possessions is you filling your empty heart with a temporary hamburger.

You’re full for three hours and then you are you again.

I never want to go back to that. I’ve had all of that and none of it means anything.

I hated all of it. I now want for nothing.

I feel like when I was doing all of those things I was a ghost in my own life.

I live a simple life now and my daughter Lorelei lives with me since she was 18 years old.

The universe has somehow righted itself.

I’ve worked at this salon for 2 years and now we have this fitness center and it’s starting to take off. But I’m no longer harnessed to the bridle of corporate america. My best friend of 20 years is owned by Wells Fargo and he’s rich, but his life sucks royal Canadian moose cock everyday. I love him, but his wife is gone. He has no kids, and he’s left in a pool of mediocrity with his fifty something Asian girlfriend. He’ll never marry again because he feels like a failure and it’ll just be him at the end of the day with a pile of money and his rhumetoid arthritis.

I smoke and drink and work all of the time. I love my life. Everyday I’m looking forward to doing something and seeing a friend or lover.

I can’t believe my good fortune.

But then I pause and think, I built that.

We can look back on our lives and see it as a bunch of crazy events and stories, but if you really look at it, it’s a lovely novel woven by you.

 

Eileen finishes vacuuming and folding towels.

She’s had a great first day and I’m proud of her. I knew she’d be wonderful.

I’m on my feet everyday and active. I’m interacting with our clients and selling my ass off. I’m training this lovely girl, and she is laughing at my jokes.

How bad is my life?

We lock up and I show this raven haired beauty how sometimes the lock box can be a bit temperamental.

The lights are out so I use my flashlight app to guide her downstairs.

We say goodbye. I tell her that she’s done a good job on her first day.

She gives me that firm handshake that I loved upon our first meeting.

Off she goes.

“See tomorrow, Charles!”

 

I finally hired a winner.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

10 Ways To Stop Worrying About Money And Attract More Of It

It can feel unnatural to relax when you have bills pending and a dwindling bank account. But giving in to your fears won’t do anything to attract more money. In reality, giving in to your anxiety will generate negative energy that stops you from bringing more money into your life.

How to Stop Worrying and Attract More Money

Money comes and money goes, but worrying about it won’t make it come any faster. If you’d like to attract more money, keep reading to learn how to stop worrying and how to become the money magnet you really are.

1. Identify Any Negative Beliefs You Have About Money

Stop worrying about your bank account by recognizing your fears and any other negative beliefs you may have about money. Many people admit they are taught to never discuss money. Additionally, they believe that having a lot of money is evil, and that they should feel bad when spending money. These beliefs all stem from insecurity and need to be done away with if you hope to attract more money into your life.

Start becoming the money magnet you deserve to be by unlearning all these negative beliefs and replacing them with positive energy. It’s time for you to accept the idea that you deserve to have wealth.

2. Build a New Money Mindset with Positivity

The next step in learning how to stop worrying about money is the start of rebuilding your money mindset using positive affirmations. According to the law of attraction, what you think, you become. Thus, what you speak into your life will come to pass.

Start speaking positivity into your finances by using positive money affirmations on a regular basis. Begin every day by looking into a mirror and speaking the following types of affirmations to yourself:

  • I am a winner.
  • I‘m stepping into a new financial future.
  • My blessings and wealth are overflowing.
  • I deserve all the money I will make.

Positive affirmations like those above that tap into the law of attraction and your ability to bring about a change in your life with the type of energy you exude. By already believing that you deserve money and that you’re already building the wealth that you’re working towards, your life will automatically align to reach these goals.

3. Learn What You Deserve in Life

What stops many people from going after what they want is the fact that they don’t believe that they deserve it.

Want to get out of debt? Want to build generational wealth? While these may seem like lofty goals right now, the moment you already know that you deserve these things in your life is the moment that you start attracting them towards yourself.

The best thing about this obstacle of feeling undeserving is that you are fully in control of it. Stop worrying that you’ll never be financially stable and begin stepping into what you deserve.

Your dreams are only as big as you allow them to be and you deserve to dream big. Don’t give in to the insecurity that makes you feel undeserving. You are worthy of living the best life.

Start working on attracting what you deserve in life by realizing new goals. Do you hope to buy a house? Are you planning to build your savings? Write down all of your financial goals and understand that you deserve every single one of them.

4. Love Your Bills to Attract More Money

We have all been guilty of hating having to pay our bills. However, avoiding or hating your bills only adds more negative energy to your finances.

While it may seem absurd to try to love your bills, this little bit of love will go a long way. The key to attracting more money when paying your bills is to be confident, grateful, and happy as you pay the bills.

This is why part of learning how to stop worrying about money is to stop seeing bills as a black hole for your earnings. Your bills are a symbol of the life that you live, the blessings you enjoy, and your ability to finance your quality of life.

Additionally, the happier you are about getting to pay these bills, the more you will value the money you earn that you use to pay your bills. This positive energy and happiness will translate to you feeling more positive about the work you do and how you earn your money.

5. Be Happy for Others’ Financial Success

Jealousy and the feeling of missing out are strong motivators. We’ve all experienced feeling a certain sense of insecurity when we see others sharing about their luxury lifestyles or abundant lives. While these feelings can be inescapable at times, feeling this way isn’t effective if you’re hoping to stop worrying about your own finances.

Instead of feeling negative about yourself and financial situation when you see others doing well, start rejoicing for them. As you feel happier for the wealth that others are enjoying, the more the same energy will return to you.

Start destroying these negative and envious feelings by genuinely expressing excitement when you see someone else thriving. Speak the same into your life by telling yourself, “You deserve the same. You will have the same.”

This simple shift from jealousy to hopeful positivity will immediately affect how money flows into your life. Instead of being unhappy with where you are in your finances, your new happiness for others will spill over to your current situation, ultimately leading you to attract more money into your life.

6. Visualize Financial Abundance

Visualization is a powerful tool to bring about a change in your life. Do you want to increase your finances and live the lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of? Start visualizing it.

Visualize the life you want, deserve, and will have by writing out what you hope to see. And, imagine that you are living that life right now. While this may seem like a strange exercise, it will help to ease any fears you feel and help you to believe are already leading the life you long for.

To make visualization part of your daily life, commit to spending a few moments in the morning or at night to meditate on your money affirmations and visualize the life you long for. This will help you keep your goals fresh in your mind as you actively work to make them a reality each day.

7. Recognize Prosperity in Your Life

Prosperity is everywhere you go, if you know what to look for. By recognizing prosperity, you’ll be inviting it into your life.

Too often, we’re programmed to seek out poverty and notice what’s lacking in life. From your bank account to the world around you, you may be naturally inclined to see what’s wrong rather than look for what’s right.

Start transforming the way you look at life by automatically seeking out prosperity. In order for you to prosper, you must first be able to recognize prosperity.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

Sun Stories: Jazmin – Guess Girl – Chapter 6

“I trust you. I just want the feeling more than the fear I am feeling now.”

“Charles…. I think I’m ready.”

I tap on the closed-door. It’s now 8:30pm.

“Come in, please.”

When I enter the room, Jazmin is sitting on the edge of the sun bed. Her red blouse looks angry with me because of what’s on my mind.

Jazmin’s eyes look frightened and worried. But I know from her words she wants to try.

I smile warmly and enter the room.

“You okay?”

“Yea.”

Jazmin is sitting there like a patient in a doctor’s office. The yellow towel covers her lap. She’s done everything I’ve asked her to do, and as alien as this, I feel this is how it should go down. (Literally!)

She looks beautiful, nervous, and hopeful all in the same moment. Her dark eyes are innocent and she smiles weakly.

Gone is the sultry goddess.

I like that.

I’m about to use my expertise on a neophyte. She may be breaking some rules but I think she’s tired of waiting and horny. That’s okay. I’ll help relieve her of her burden and I hope we’re not breaking any rules.

“I’m really nervous. What do I do now Charles?”

“I’m going to grab some towels for my knees. The floor is hard and I’m not getting any younger, sweetheart.”

“Okay…”

“You’re fine. Just stay there. You’re doing great.”

“I’m actually feeling excited about this now.”

“Good. That’s the way this should be, dear.”

I grab some towels from beneath the counter because I know my old knees will break on the goddamn hardwood floors. It’s weird when even when you’re in the middle of a curious sex act shit can go wrong on a functional level.

I position the fluffy towels on the floor to cushion my knees and I think we’re ready to go.

As long as Jazmin is ready to go.

Lovely Jaz is on the sunbed. She’s laying vertically across it and her legs are hanging off the edge. Her skirt is folded on the table and her panties are laying on top of them. They’re white and lacy.

Jazmin is on the sun bed and her bottom is at the edge of the bed as if she’s ready to go, but she has a yellow towel over her sex.

This is a side of our clients I should never see. But here we are. There’s some mad extortion shit going down right now. It’s a mess I need to get myself out of because I need to protect the salon. (Yea, right.)

But my heart wants to please Jazmin. It’s like a mission to me. That’s how I’m a giver and a pleaser of girls. It sounds juvenile, but that’s how I am with women. I live to please and love them. I ‘ll give all until there’s nothing left of me. (Michelle knew this about me)

I slowly walk into room 9 and Jazmin is lying back on the bed. Her caramel thighs are spread and the little yellow towel is draped between her legs.

She looks really beautiful and vulnerable. Here is a girl who’s a business person and is the sole architect of this unique sexual predicament.

“I’m ashamed about how you’ll feel when you see me.”

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, Jaz.”

“But maybe I’m not as pretty and prim as girls you know.”

“Breathe, Jaz. I’m here to bring you joy for a few minutes if you still want it. The way you look has nothing to do with how happy you’ll be.”

“What if I have an ugly sex? No man will want that.”

“Okay. Breathe. There’s no such thing as that. That’s just how you’re made and it doesn’t matter. All women are different and all beautiful.  There are no ugly girl parts! Men love them all and are just happy to spend time with you.”

“Okay. I’m so stupid.”

“No. You’re a lovely woman. You’re learning things about yourself right now.”

“Okay… So what now….?

Jazmin was sitting on the edge of the sun bed. She was dressed from the waist up like I told her. I saw her skirt folded on the table and her panties folded on her skirt. (My eyes dart back and forth to consume the memory) I could see she had taken a towel from the sink outside the room and put it under herself as a little cushion. She also had another towel in her lap covering herself. But I couldn’t see anything. At this moment, we’re all business and nerves.

“Okay, Charles… So I’m scared. Thank you for turning the music back on. Shall we get to it?” She started to cry a little bit.

“Aww Jaz… You don’t have to do this. You can go home right now. I mean it.” (I’m actually tearing up) She’s completely covered by the towel but her skirt and panties are off and she’s only covered by a little hand towel.

This has to be incredibly difficult for her. Gone is the cocky woman I met a few weeks ago.

“I’m scared Charles, but I’m excited and I’m thinking I’m ready for the thing you do.”

“Okay. Time for the thing you asked for Jazmin.”

“Wait.”

“Yes… love?”

“I’m afraid to look upon you when you perform this act upon me.”

“Well… look away, dear. Because it’ll be magical and you don’t need to see it to feel it.”

“Wait.”

“What dear?”

“What if you wear a blindfold so you don’t have to look upon me. Then you won’t see my  sex.”

“I need to see what I’m doing , Jaz. I can’t please you blindly. It’s impossible. I need to see what I’m doing.”

 (Total bold-faced life. I can totally eat a sweet box with zero vision. I’ve done it since the 70’s in the dark.)

“Okay, what if I wear a blindfold so I only feel it and never see it?”

“That’s up to you Jaz.”

“I want that. Let me only feel the tactile. I want to see nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back.”

I hate this interruption, but I have to do what must be done, and I go to room 5 and grab a tie I left hanging in there from my old corporate days.

 

I return to room 9 with my nervous girl.

“Ready? I have this.” I hold the black and red tie my daughter gave me for my birthday years ago.

“Mm, hmm” she murmurs to me….. accepting the inevitably of her twisted wish.

“You okay?”

“Yes. I’m ready.”

“Everything’s fine. You’re almost there, Jazmin.” I say, as I tie the fabric over her eyes covering her vision from what I’m about to do to her.

This act has just heightened the experience for me. More control.

Now we have a perfectly beautiful 24-year-old girl blindfolded on a sunbed with her pants off and her legs spread prepared for the inevitable.

“Are you okay, Jaz?”

“Yes. It’s better this way. If I can’t see I will be less ashamed.”

“Do you feel safe?”

“I do. I trust you. I just want the feeling more than the fear I’m feeling now.”

“That’s good Jazmin. Just breathe. It’s going to be nice.”

I step back for a moment. Here is a young Persian beauty that was going to blackmail me because of something she saw, and now has turned it into a secret desire. I’m in a classic predicament here.

She’s gorgeous and sitting in bed 9. No pants on. Legs spread and now blindfolded for the taking. This is beyond anything I could have imagined happening in my life. But I want to do it. Jazmin is ready. She wants me to perform. I’m a pleaser and a giver and I’m used to this with whoever I’m with.

I have to do this.

Kita’s face appears in my mind. Giggling and squealing. I push her vision aside.

We’ve reached critical mass.

I just need to drop to my knees and do what I’m good at.

I feel a twinge of guilt.

I push it away.

“Okay, Charles.” She is breathing heavily and my lovely girl leans back and spreads her legs wider.

“Help me.”

“Okay, Jazmin.”

I slowly pull the towel away to reveal the beauty we are both about to receive.

The blog writes itself…

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

Alicia – Chapter 3 – French Toast

I went to my credit union today to make a deposit. I see Alicia, and she’s looking hot as usual, but her hair is done and she looks even more glamorous. I love her in my phicklephilly way as I have loved Maria before her, (See: Maria – Amor En Vanos) the inspiration for this blog.

I see that she’s with a member so I probably can’t see her. I just want to fill out my deposit and get out of there to continue my day.

I have my cash and complete my deposit slip. I walk around the branch and the first teller I see behind the three inch bullet proof glass is a happy little white guy. I figure Alicia’s busy so I just go to him as he welcomes me, but figure I’ll wave to my queen.

I push my deposit slip and cash under the tray.

Alicia immediately gets to her feet and speaks.

“Oh, you’re not here to see me?”

I’m blown away. This has never happened. I’ve laid the groundwork to let her know in a very subtle and funny way that I would like to meet her outside of the credit union, but I wasn’t expecting this outburst.

I loved it. It shook me to my core, because my project had come to life.

Her hair looked lovely and so did the rest of her. I couldn’t believe her interest. I literally toss the cash to the little white guy and walk down to her window. I don’t care at this point and feel a bit of power as a member.

“I love all this.” I say about her pretty hair. I love that for the very first time she’s showing some attention toward me. This is huge.

Any reaction from a woman in courtship is a form of arousal. I’m very good at this and I’ve been a lion resting in the grass near this lovely gazelle for two years.

My father taught me how to be patient with a woman. He was a master. Most men are clumsy and awkward and are driven by their desire. You need to lay in wait for a prize you want. No matter what it is.

That’s super hard for most men to do, but for the few. you’ll close better deals if you’re patient.

“Have you been to the Comcast food court?”

“No. I’m always in first and I have to take the first lunch.”

“Every day?”

“Yea. 11am. I don’t feel like eating sushi at that time of the morning.”

“I get that. What do you like to eat?”

“French toast.”

“Done. I’ll find a place. Let’s have lunch next week.”

“Okay. Let me know.”

People, I think it’s on with this lady. I must have lunch with a girl I’ve been grooming for two years through bulletproof glass.

I know nothing about her but her cool demeanor and fuzzy forearms. (It’s sexy to me!)

Even if Alicia is only placating me for a free lunch as a member I don’t care. I just want to learn about her. I’ve found that whenever there is a challenge on the table for me my low self-esteem drives me to close that business.

Alicia doesn’t know anything about me other than I have the money to pay for a free lunch but I HAVE to do it just to get know her and get a story for phicklephilly.

I’m at a point in my life where I will just be happy to have lunch with this delicious girl. And the fact that I could get her to come out from behind bullet proof glass to have a meal with an older stranger.

The idea titillated me to know end. I couldn’t even grab lunch at my usual greasy spoon in Suburban Station to think it over. I went to Marathon and got a table at the window to process.

This is huge. So when I get my next paycheck at the salon, I’m going to go into the credit union and properly ask her out for lunch.

I’ve scoured Yelp and everywhere else for french toast beyond 11am. That is hard to nearly impossible.

I’m getting another check from the salon so I have a new excuse to go see Alicia.

I need to ask her if it’s okay if we run over to Midtown Diner. Good french toast, (Shitty first date but great fast service) but a solid spot. When I make my deposit I need to ask Alicia if there’s another 11am food group she may be interested in.

I need to make this deposit. I need to see Alicia and clarify our lunch and get her number.

I can do this, and now it seems she’s interested. Today changed everything and had me trembling with excitement because of Alicia’s behavior and how I feel about her. I think we’re good here. It’s just lunch.

As I had joked to her before, she has access to my accounts. At least baby knows I can afford the lunch and dessert if she wants it!

I need to go in there and close this.

I know nothing about her, but I have a theory. But I’ll hold my cards close to the vest to resist judgement.

But Alicia is beautiful, and I want to get to know her and I’ll leave it at that.

Stay tuned…

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

Wake Up and Kick Your Anxiety’s Ass With This Under-10-Minute Morning Routine

Mental health and well being is very close to our hearts, and while we truly aim to have an always-on approach to covering all aspects of mental health, we have chosen to shine an extra bright light on #WorldMentalHealth today, and for the rest of January.

We bring you The Big Burn Out — a content series made up of honest personal essays, expert advice and practical recommendations.

When your mornings feel like this on a consistent basis, managing anxiety can feel like an uphill battle. My solution? Create a routine — and not just any routine, but one that’s specifically tailored to quell stress.

My morning routine has changed a little bit here and there over the years, but a few core things have stayed the same. Here are the pieces that I’ve put together that help the most with my anxiety management.

  • Step 0: Have a grab-n-go breakfast in the fridge. Surprise! This part of my morning takes place the night before. The aforementioned negative five minutes to cook breakfast is often all too true, despite my best efforts. Chia pudding, protein muffins, and overnight oats are some of my favorite make-ahead breakfasts to throw in my bag on the way to the train. One fewer thing to worry about!
  • Step 1: Use a better alarm. Like many of you, I used to have that science-lab mayday alarm (I think it’s literally called “Alarm” on iPhones) because I thought that would be the best way to kick me out of bed and ensure I’m on time to things. I realized the error of my ways — a gentle alarm that builds in volume and intuitively knows the right time (within a 10- to 30-minute window) to wake me up has actually made mornings so much less stressful and startling. I use Sleep Cycle, but there are similar apps you can try in the app store to find one that suits your style.
  • Step 2: *Don’t* check your emails! This one is still hard for me, but resist the urge to check your emails and messages right away. Give your brain a chance to wake up and focus on the present moment. Be still. Be calm. Absorb the silence around you and try to give yourself a chance to appreciate even a few moments of peace before you inundate yourself with obligations.
  • Step 3: Queue up the aromatherapy. I keep some essential oils by my bedside for my evening and morning routine. In the a.m., I opt for energizing, uplifting, happy scents like grapefruit, lemon, wild sweet orange, and sometimes geranium or peppermint.
  • Step 4: Meditate — even for two minutes. I tried creating a morning meditation routine of just 10 minutes a day. It sounds simple, right? Well . . . even that got away from me. Then I became stressed and anxious that I was failing on my anti-anxiety routine, and it all kind of spiraled. Sound familiar? I cut it down to two minutes. If you have more time, you can always tack on more, but two minutes was much more doable, and it has helped me feel like I’m more capable and empowered.

 

  • Step 5: Do your skincare routine. Like in my night time routine, I use washing (and exfoliating . . . and toning, serum-ing, moisturizing, etc.) my face as a form of meditation, self-care, and focus before I take on the rest of my day’s obligations. I think about nothing but the task at hand — and have the added bonus of making my skin look and feel great.
  • Step 6: Make the bed. Tidying up has become a part of my anti-anxiety routine, regardless of the time of day. One of my favorite trainers at Barry’s Bootcamp read an excerpt from Admiral William H. McRaven’s book, aptly titled Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life . . . And Maybe the World, and referenced that even if everything goes wrong in your day, at least you can say you made the bed. It might sound silly, but that really resonated with my anxious brain. So not only does this set you up for a clean, tidy, organized house (anxiety reducing!), but it also gives you a mini victory to focus on (anxiety reducing!). Hooray!

While this might look like a long list, it takes very little time. The two minutes of meditation, five minutes of skin care, and maybe one or two minutes of making the bed (because remember, steps 0, 1, 2, 3, and 6 take either zero time or 30 seconds) total up to less than 10 minutes total. That’s it! Carving out this small amount of time and space to take care of yourself first thing in the morning can lead to a happier day, better well-being, and a calmer, more peaceful life.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

Women Are Growing Out Their Body Hair For ‘JANUHAIRY’ To Raise Funds To Tackle Climate Change

Women are ‘growing out their [body] hair to clear out the air’ as part of ‘Januhairy’, which this year is raising funds to fight climate change and restore natural habitats.

The campaign was launched last January and aims to ‘encourage the acceptance of body hair on women’ while also raising money for charity.

View this post on Instagram

Three days in to the world wide #januhairy movement, combating social pressures on what it means to be a ‘Woman’, or any identity for that matter, whilst raising money for @treesisters_official 🌱 protecting and restoring our natural habitat, as well as our bodies. How is your januhairy going so far? ‘Wait what? It’s januhairy 3rd already? Damn, isn’t it too late to join in?’ Umm NO OF COURSE NOT 🎉This is all about your individual experiences within the empowering community of Januhairy! Start now, start next week; you’re still spreading our message and challenging yourself and, in turn, fucking with the patriarchy… Visit ‘januhairy . org’ (without the spaces) for more info on the movement and the charity involved. Photo from @neonmoon whose products we are very excited to be involved with in our upcoming photo shoot! ’Waaat? A photo shoot? Wow!’. Yup, we are hosting a Januhairy photo shoot this weekend in London celebrating all beautiful hairy bodies!! There will for sure be a few little teasers on our stories all throughout the day, so keep your eyes peeled 👀 Hairy hugs!

A post shared by Januhairy (@januhairy) on

It was founded by Laura Jackson, who got the idea while she was a drama student at Exeter University and was growing her own body hair out for a performance. Since then, it has grown into an international campaign and this year it is raising money for charity TreeSisters, which works to protect forests and fund reforestation.

This year’s campaign was announced in a Facebook post that read: “A very hairy new year to you all!! Today marks the first day of #januhairy2020 where women all over the world come together to drop our razors for the month of January.

“The focus may be on women, but this movement includes all genders and identities. Let’s educate one another on ALL experiences within this ‘prickly’ subject.

“Our charity focus this year is to support TreeSisters in protecting, restoring and funding reforestation… We envision a world in which it is normal for everyone to protect and restore themselves and their world, a plight we resonate with as women, to protect and restore our personal natural habitats!

“If you are not personally joining in with Januhairy this year, I encourage you to talk about the it with others; if we see the same things again and again, it becomes normal.

“I hope the new year has wonderful things in store for each and every one of you!”

View this post on Instagram

Just over a week to go until #januhairy 2020! Are you thinking of taking up any challenges next month? Dry January? Veganuary? Why not try joining in with the many women around the world taking part in Januhairy! Januhairy is a project which has grown into (pun intended!) a wonderful community that empowers women globally, whilst also tackling the imminent issue of climate change that we are all facing together. This year we are raising money for the wonderful @treesisters_official in order to help regrow our planet whilst also battling stereotypes that we face every day. Disposable plastic razors contribute to the enormous issue of single use plastics polluting our Earth, so why not drop the razor, raise some money for a wonderful charity, whilst joining a loving and supportive community of women taking part. There is still time to get involved, so keep an eye out for our website launching tomorrow, as well as JANUHAIRY MERCH which will be coming very soon! We cant wait to embark on this challenge with you – let’s grow out our hair to clear the planet’s air! – photo by @topxrahman 🌿

A post shared by Januhairy (@januhairy) on

You can donate to the TreeSisters fundraiser here.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly