Wildwood Daze – Winter of 1979 – Tools of the Trade

I think because I was doing well in school and they had failed me as parents in my obvious musical upbringing and had handed over their money to Mr. Buckwalter to teach my sister Janice piano lessons so she could please my dad and not be able to play a fucking note they had no choice.

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I started to think about buying a real guitar. I was excited about the notion of getting a REAL guitar. Obviously this rock and roll thing was sticking and I needed a proper instrument. Jim had a Fender Stratocaster and it was a good guitar but it was brown and sensible. A Gibson Les Paul was simply too heavy and way too expensive.

I wanted something that would define me as a rock star. I wanted something else. Everybody played Fender, Gibson, Yamaha, Guild, and whatever boring guitars were out there. A Gibson Explorer crossed my mind but looked too bulky. A Dean looked too much like everything else.

One day I was reading Creem or Circus magazine, (Other than Rolling Stone, they were the two leading music mags of the time) I saw Paul Stanley from the band Kiss playing and interesting looking axe. The way it looked really touched something in me.

Yes. That was the guitar for a future rock star.

I had to have that.

A 1979 Black Ibanez Iceman. Double humbucker pickups. Rosewood neck, and a sexy young body. Just like the girls I liked. That hook. That stinger. Yes!

I had to have that guitar.

Jim had introduced me to a guy that gave guitar lessons in town. He was an older dude who’s father owned a storefront down on Pacific avenue when that meant something. It was a radio and TV repair store. A dusty old place that felt like it’s time had come and gone.

I was surprised how many people Jim knew at his tender age, but he was a seeker and was always thirsty for knowledge. He somehow found Charlie Billaris the son who was this great guitar player back in the day.

He introduces me to Charlie and he’s a really nice older guy. (Now when I say older, I mean back then, late twenties because we were so young) He had been teaching Jim some songs and I thought he was cool.

We would sit in this old store full of old TV’s and radios and just jam. It was beautiful and primitive. He had taught Jim and I wanted some of that. I think I would give him ten bucks and he would teach me songs by Led Zeppelin and basic blues runs.

Charlie was a great guitar player. He had once played in a band called 12 Gauge years ago but they never made it and now he worked in his dad’s shop. I wondered how a guy that was this good had never gone forward to pursue music full-time. But he was married now with a baby and had already been burned out from the circuit. I assured that would never happen to me. I was going to be a rock star like Joe Perry and become a great songwriter.

“Charlie.”

“Yea, man.”

“How can Keith Richards be such drug addict and still perform and make great records with the Stones?”

“When you got it… you got it.”

That was his only answer. He was right. Simple and complete. He was older. He knew stuff.

He taught me so much. I got better. I started to really understand my little Silvertone guitar so much better. Under Charlie I wrote better more melodic songs and was really coming along as a guitar player. I wanted it so bad it was coming on fast. My mind was starving for rock and I just breathed it all in. I would go home and learn the songs and keep writing and playing non stop in my room.

One day Jim and I were at Charlie’s house just hanging out and jamming. Jim starts talking about how I was thinking about getting a REAL guitar.

I tell Charlie the guitar I’m dreaming about.

“I can get you that. But I have to go to New York to get that baby. She’s rare.”

I had to clear that whole transaction with my parents because it would be my entire savings from working as a busboy all summer at the Dolphin restaurant for this guitar.

I think because I was doing well in school and they had failed me as parents in my obvious musical upbringing and had handed over their money to Mr. Buckwalter to teach my sister Janice piano lessons so she could please my dad and not be able to play a fucking note they had no choice.

It was money I had earned being a busboy so they technically couldn’t say shit. I’m doing my homework. I’m excelling as a student. I’m not getting into trouble. I’ve somehow adjusted to this nightmare I’ve been dropped off into so let me do what I want with my money.

I gave Charlie $250 to go get the guitar of my dreams in New York City. That seemed like a world away back then.

A week later I get a call from him and he says he’s back and he has her.

I call Jim. We have to go together to collect my dream!

We walk out to Charlies house and I’m excited and apprehensive. This is the biggest purchase of my life and it’s tied to my greatest love of all time. MUSIC!

We knock on his door and his wife answers. (Lisa was a hot little blonde. Just saying….musicians pull sweet tail)

We go in and Charlie comes out. We’re nervous and excited because we both are anticipating what’s supposed to happen. We sit down and he offers us both a beer. We’re teenage boys so of course we’re going to respect and accept but we’re not really drinkers. (Yet… Me. Not Jim)

We’re nursing out beers trying to be cool during this watershed moment in my young life. Then he brings out this black rectangle flight case and lays it on the sofa like a coffin. My mind can’t comprehend what’s inside of that box.

“Go ahead. Open the case.” Charlie’s wife is smiling.

I set my beer down and go to the flight case. I unsnap the buckles and locks on the case. I slowly raise the lid.

Tears fill my eyes.

There she is!

That’s my new axe! That’s my girl! That’s going to be what will carry me forth in rock and heavy metal in my future. I already feel that I am going to go beyond Wildwood and everything in my worthless anxiety filled life with her!

On the little box inside the case where you keep your picks, slide and other cool goodies I decorated it with twin skulls, a little scarab and a miniature Iceman pin!

This IS Rock and Roll. I have arrived on life’s stage as a musician. A worthless nothing with depression and anxiety has taken a step to strap on an elegant guitar to make great music for the world and be a star!

I remember my eyes not being able to accept the instrument before me. The possibilities with Jim. The songs we would write. The incredible jams. The songs we would play together on stage. Everything was coming together for me. My dreams were coming true!

I told Charlie I had the other half of the money in my account. (That guitar cost $500 in 1979. That’s a shitload of cash for a busboy back then. That’s basically all I made that summer) He is hesitant to let her go, but his wife intercedes.

“They’re good boys. Let him take it.” (Is she into me?)

I promise to bring Charlie the difference tomorrow, and they let Jim and I leave with my brand new battle-axe.

I had to stop two times on the way home and open up the case and just look at her again because she was so beautiful. She was the most beautiful guitar I had ever seen and I couldn’t believe she was mine. Having this guitar and looking upon her was like taking little Terri to Star Wars and kissing her for the first time and feeling what love was.

It was just an amazing time stopping moment to stand under the street light at 22nd and Central with my best friend and favorite guitarist and open that case and look at that guitar.

It reminded me of when I was there when my mom first saw the shore house completely remodeled by my dad.

“Oh Hoss… this is too nice for us.” my mother said.

This was too nice for us. But I’m an overachiever and this is the perfect guitar for me.

I have arrived.  I just hope Jim and I can make the band work out.

Here’s an amusing footnote: The Ibanez Iceman that brought me years of joy upon acquiring it cost me a whopping $500 in 1979. An incredible instrument!

A friend of mine recently sent me this….

Nice investment that I’d like to be buried with.

Oh, and still rocking out today…

Here’s a song I used to love to listen to at the beach in the summer of 79. Great pop song and solo.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Maria – Chapter 6 – She Has Returned To Me

After my successful coffee meet up a few weeks ago with my muse. I told her to come in for a tanning session before she goes to Florida.

“Thanks for meeting me for coffee today. It was great seeing you! I’ll get you a link to my blog. See you Saturday!”

“Yesss coffee was good. Thanks! See ya then! Send me the addy so I don’t get lost lol.”

I send her the link to my blog. This is so exciting. The girl who inspired me to write again will get to read about herself on the very platform that she inspired!

Saturday rolls around and I’m working at the salon.

“What time are you in today?”

“11 to 5”

I love that Maria is coming in to tan. She comes in and we chit-chat. It’s always great to see her and talk to my muse. She wants to get a base for her trip to Florida. She buys a 5 pack which is great because she can do a couple of sessions before her trip and use the rest to maintain her color when she gets back. (And I get to see her 4 more times!)

She does her session and heads out. I figure that would be it. She’d pop in occasionally and brighten my day. I was satisfied just having coffee with her last week. Just to reconnect with her and actually hang out with her was brilliant.

But a few weeks pass and I’m sitting at my desk at home writing. It was probably around midnight when her text comes in.

“Hey Charles, I know you said you don’t do social media. Not sure if you keep up with the news but the restaurant where I work is closed down for a few months due to the fire next door. We are not only taking money donations but any donation to be raffled would be raffled would be greatly appreciated.”

Of course I’m going to spring into action. Maria needs my help!

“I read about the fire in the news and immediately thought of you. What can we do to help? What will you do financially? Are you available to meet up to discuss this week?”

“Def sucks. I’m waiting to hear back from a couple of places. Anything honestly. We can since I have so much time now.”

“Alright. I’m going to hit up all my contacts up to get you some shifts. Can you meet up on Monday at noon?”

“Yea I’ll take anything. I babysat tonight. Just trying to be optimistic. Yeah I can do that.”

“I’ve placed a few friends in jobs. I’m so sorry this happened. I’ll start making calls tomorrow. Meet me at Cavanaugh’s Rittenhouse Monday at noon.”

“Sounds like a plan. They are actually donating to the raffle.”

“Okay I’ll talk to my partner at the salon as well. Come in and tan if you want today. I’ll be there from 11 to 4, if not see you Monday at Cav’s. I’m sure we can find you something!”

“Awesome. I really hate asking for any help honestly. I’m going to Chop tomorrow to visit my relative, but yea def Monday. Thanks again Charles!”

“I’m on it. I’ll call everybody I know in the hospitality industry to help you. No worries.”

The next day I send her a bunch of names and places she can apply. She’s very grateful. I tell her not to worry if some of the spots I send her are places she’s not interested in. She can pick and choose what places she thinks she’d like work. I’ll just keep sending. I’m just happy to help her.

Monday I’m sitting at my table in the back of Cavanaugh’s. Maria rolls in and as usual I am delighted to see her.

Maria always looks beautiful.

I feel bad for her misfortune but it wasn’t anything she did that’s put her in this predicament. The building next door to where she works burned down! It may be months before they open again.

I order my usual Monday special the 1/2 off cheese steak. Maria goes with the turkey burger.

We talk about her current situation. I tell her I’ll keep asking around to all of my contacts in the industry. I also tell her that I’ll get her a gift card to the salon that she can raffle off. She’s happy about that. She’s really been working hard to raise money for their event.

I ask her when it is and she tells me they are having it on Sunday. I tell her I can’t attend because I have to work that day. But if she sends me the link to where I can buy a ticket, I’ll purchase one just to make a donation to support her cause.

Maria is stressed about being three months away from graduating from college with her degree in Marketing, and now she has to find another server job to pay the bills. There’s also her relative that’s in Children’s Hospital. That and her own stomach disorders. Poor thing!

I can relate with all my stomach disorders. So at least we have that in common and can discuss our challenges.

She tells me more about this guy that’s she’s dating. He’s one of the managing partners of the restaurant where she worked. Okay, I know they say never shit where you eat, or don’t dip your pen in the company’s ink. But we’ve all done it. You spend a great deal of your waking hours with your co-workers. You all have a common goal and share the same mission in your daily lives. It’s very common for there to be workplace romance.

But an owner and a server? That doesn’t sit right with me. He has the power to fire her at anytime. I’m not saying that would happen. But she’s entered into a romantic relationship that if it goes badly, could put her in the unemployment line.

There’s no harassment suit because she entered into that relationship as a willing partner.

But it’s none of my business. She’s an adult and a survivor. She’s tough and she’ll figure it out. I respect that about her.

Then she tells me an interesting story. She said she wrote in to some online publication about her relationship with this gentleman. They actually changed her name to ‘Kristen” and published it. She wants to share it with me.

I get really excited at the prospect of publishing the story on Phicklephilly. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve posted a dating story by one of my followers on this blog. But not by my muse! Not a dating story by the girl who inspired me to create this blog. That’s internet gold to me. I’m honored to publish something Maria wrote!

So if she sends me the link, I’ll post it in the next installment of this little saga.

After lunch, (Of course I pay, and I really want to because my friend is not working. Girl’s gotta eat!) we walk along Sansom street. I’m looking at her, with the tawny highlights in her luxurious dark mane. I’m listening to her words and I’m happy just to be walking down the street with Maria.

She’s going to stop in at Harp and Crown and see if they’re hiring. I’ve got to get to the salon. We promise to text later about what we spoke about and I wish her luck.

We hug and off she goes. I turn and head down 16th street. I light a post lunch/Maria encounter celebratory cig and smile in the afternoon sun.

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Sun Stories: Trish – Crash and Burn

When we last left our hero he was forced to go in and run the salon after Trish simply didn’t show up for work. He had plans with Cherie after 3pm that day and needed to do some chores to prepare for her arrival. But Because of Trish’s disappearing act, he now had to change his plans. He was working at the salon when suddenly Trish burst through the front door.

“I’m so sorry…”

She’s visibly upset on the verge of tears. She runs to me and hugs me.

“What happened?”

“I was arrested last night.”

“What? How? Why?”

“Well, I’ve been feeling kind of fucked up lately in my life. I used to do a lot of coke when I was in college and I just felt like I needed a lift to do some artwork I was working on.”

(Sounds like my buddy, Johnny R. He has all of these thoughts in his head but feels like he needs to drink, do coke and/or do some Adderall to put pen to page. When in reality, he’s not much different than Trish. You don’t need any of that shit to create. You just need to create everyday. But neither of them can focus long enough to make anything of any significant value because they don’t do it consistently. Simple as that.)

“So what did you do?”

I called this hot black guy I met at Ray’s Birthday Bar a few weeks ago. I asked him if he had anything and he said come down to where he was. Normally I would ask the person to deliver it to my house so I didn’t have to go somewhere that I’m unfamiliar with.”

“So then what happened and why did you break your rule?”

“Because he was really good looking.”

“Ahh… Trish yields to beauty! I can relate. So then what?”

“I ride my bike down to where he is and he tells me he has to go in some bar and get it. He asks me to come in but I tell him I’ll wait outside. After a bit, he comes out and we make the exchange.”

“So what happened next?”

“He goes back inside the bar and I start pedaling home on my bike and some guy gets out of his car and tells me to stop.”

“Was he dressed like a policeman?”

“No. But you could tell he was a cop. You just know. I’m like… What the fuck? The dude shows me his badge and they place me under arrest for conspiracy to commit a crime and possession of an illegal controlled substance.

“Whoa…”

“Yea, they also pinch the dude I bought it from. Apparently it’s his second offense so he’ll probably get sent up the river for three to five.”

“Why do I suddenly feel like I’m on some TV cop show?”

“So that’s where I’ve been for the last eighteen hours. In the can.”

“That sucks. This was supposed to be your last day here too. I’ve already taken your shift. You’re probably in no shape to work today.”

“Yea. Is it okay if I just hang out and help a bit?”

“Sure.”

“Then I’m going to go get my bike. I’ll probably UBER down to South Philly later and retrieve it… if it’s still there.”

So Trish cleaned a few beds, and later left to get her bicycle. She returned saying that she was happy the bike hadn’t been stolen or vandalized and that this had been a wake up call for her. She did some sweeping at the end of the shift and she an I walked back to our building in Rittenhouse.

I felt bad for Trish, although Achilles would later simply call her an asshole or a crackhead for not showing up for her shift and not calling or texting. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time Friday night. Think of how much cocaine was bought and sold and consumed last night in this city. She hadn’t bought coke since she was in college. Here she was at nearly 28 years old and gets pinched the first time she tries to get some again.

She took several Saturday’s off and I covered her shifts when she was shooting a pilot for a TV show. It was supposed to be a reality show about hot girls searching for the paranormal in Gettysburg, PA. That sounds like a load of shit, but if Trish were on a show and she was wearing hot outfits, I’d watch it.

But the pilot got made and the actors never got paid, and to me it was a waste of time. The purveyors got their pilot done and got free help to be in it. They will shop it around to some networks and if it never gets picked up that’ll be the end of it. Trish never sees a dime and is actually out more money because she took time off from work and the costs associated with getting to and from Gettysburg.

Now she’ll have a criminal record. I’m sure for a first offense she’ll get a slap on the hand, a fine, and have to take some NA classes but that’ll be it. Maybe she can even get it expunged from her record in the future.

Trish didn’t want me to write about this, but it happened. It happened on her very last day at the salon. She blew it with a single bad decision. I’m simply writing about what happened on the day I was supposed to be off and spend time with my beloved. My girlfriend who I never get to see as much as I would like to and had to tell Cherie to push back our union. No, you can’t come and see me at 3pm. I don’t care what arrangements you’ve had to make with your family, your job or your son, because Trish fucked up. But when people make bad decisions they never realize how it will affect the people around them. That’s why they are who they and why they are where they are in their lives. I need to leave those people behind to wallow in their failure.

Trish still can come to the apartment and hang with my daughter, Lorelei, and I’ll be civil. But she fucked me and Achilles and the salon. And for that, we are done with her.

But the saga is not over yet.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Sun Stories: Trish – Critical Mass

“Today was supposed to be her last day at the salon and no one knows where she is.”

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen my love, Cherie. But we’re accustomed to that with what our schedules are. We appreciate what little time we can spend together. We make every minute count.

Cherie planned to come down on Saturday around 3pm and stay until 8:30am Sunday morning. I thought this was good, because I could at least have dinner with her or take her out somewhere, before we went back to the bat cave and tore each other to pieces.

I wake up Saturday morning. I stayed up late the night before because I knew it was my first day off in a while and I wanted to sleep in. I could take myself out to a nice breakfast, put some fresh sheets on the bed, prepare my bedroom for the inevitable and run some errands before Cherie arrived at 3pm.

I’m lying in bed and I look at my phone. Achilles had called. Achilles also texted me.

“Do you know if Trish went to work?”

(Okay, Trish is my neighbor who lives in the apartment below me. I got her the job at the salon, but how in the hell am I supposed to know if she went to work today?)

“I’m assuming she did.”

I text Trish. “Hey can you see if I left my charger there? It would be plugged in under the counter.”

(That was just a ruse to see if she was there. I didn’t want her to think I was checking up on her.)

Achilles: “No answer at the salon.”

Me: “Fuck.”

“I’ll head over there now. But I’ll need about 30 minutes.”

I jump out of bed and into the shower. I’m dressed and out the door 30 minutes later. I speed walk over to the salon and when I get there I see four people sitting on the steps and the salon is locked and dark. One of them is the new girl I’ve been training, Jill.

I tell everybody I’m sorry for the today’s delay, but I can get them all in to tan right now. Jill is obviously upset. She had just come in to tan when she saw the place was locked. It’s nearly 1pm now. We’ve lost 2 hours worth of business, and there’s been no word from Trish.

“I was so worried when I texted you and didn’t hear anything.” Jill said.

“I wouldn’t have heard my phone, Jill. I was rushing to get over here to see what happened.”

I get everybody, including Jill, into their respective rooms to tan. I’ve got everything under control. But still no word from Trish. I roll with the notion of what’s happened around in my mind. I no longer consider Trish a friend. I tried that but I can’t take the crazy, so I’ve stopped hanging out with her. But she’s a sweet person and she comes up to the apartment all of the time and hangs out with my daughter, Lorelei. So I decide that whatever circumstances have caused Trish to miss work I’m not going to be angry, because I don’t want it to be weird when she comes over to see my daughter, or worse I don’t want her to feel bad that she can’t come up to the apartment anymore.

Trish has been expressing for the last two months that she’s tired of working in customer service. She’s a 27-year-old graphic artist. I think her own mind is what’s been holding her back from getting and keeping a real job in her field of endeavor. Which is sad. Here you have all of this talent and it’s being squandered on a daily basis. I can actually smell her talent being sledgehammered by the familiar stench of marijuana smoke that I experience everyday as it wafts up through the floor into my apartment. Morning and at night. (So she’s using to simply get through each day instead of for fun. If you want to use to create that’s great, but if you use to just leave the house and deal with life, that’s a problem.

I like to drink. I love alcohol. But I do it at the end of the day, when all the work is done. Trish has to smoke weed just to leave the house everyday. That coupled with the oceans of coffee she drinks on a daily basis to cope with the dope. She really should be on some sort of cocktail of medication and in therapy at this point. It’s very clear to me.

Something that should be enjoyed and used as a treat has been a coping mechanism for her. It’s the same for the person that needs to take a drink in the morning to “take the edge” off the day. They’re called alcoholics.

Up till now I haven’t cared about her burning up her talent and watching it go up in a puff of smoke at the end of a joint. But I brought her into the salon.  Now after a year she’s fucking up. That, or returning to her true self. When we hired her last year, the busy season was over. The job was easy then. But now we are being overwhelmed by the clients and business In general. You have to run the salon. You can’t let it run you. We’ve gotten a bad Yelp review recently because of her. Clients have complained of late openings and a bad attitude around closing. Trish shouldn’t work with the general public. She can’t handle the fast paced environment of a busy salon.

Achilles would send me in to help few nights lately. Instead of working like a well oiled unit like Summer and I did, I do all the running and Trish takes her foot off the gas and takes it easy. That’s not how it works.

So that’s why we’ve brought in Jill. She has previous salon experience, and I could see from day one that she would probably work out. Poor Trish just doesn’t have the temperament to work with people.

So the situation we find ourselves in today was supposed to be her last day and no one knows where she is.

Jill comes out from tanning and asks if she can do anything to help and says if I have plans she can work today, because she has nothing going on. I tell her I’m good, and hand her a shopping list for her to go to Wawa and get me some food because I’m going to be here until 6pm.

Oh shit! Cherie is coming at 3pm! I text her and tell her we’ve had a crisis at the salon and I have to work until 6pm. Of course as wonderful and flexible as Cherie is, she is fine with it and tells me she’ll come down at 7pm. I apologize and thank her for being understanding. So Trish’s whatever has fucked up the plans of some innocent people, so she better have a good excuse for bailing on work  on her final day and not even telling anyone what was going on.

Cherie is a mother, and has to make babysitting arrangements when she comes into the city to see me. I feel bad if that’s causing my girlfriend stress and money because of someone else’s fuck up.

Suddenly Trish comes blazing through the door to the salon.

“I’m so sorry…”

She’s visibly upset on the verge of tears.

“What happened?”

“I was arrested last night.

To Be Continued…

 

 

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Tales of Rock – The remarkable story behind David Bowie’s most iconic feature

At the centre of it all, your eyes, your eyes …”

Many aspects of the life and incredible achievements of David Bowie will be considered in the weeks and months ahead following the news of his death. Yet the cryptic lyric above from the lead single on David Bowie’s new album is a reminder that the unusual appearance of his eyes was a key part of the singer’s star persona.

Indeed their iconic presence features in the advertising campaign for ★[Blackstar]. For many people it is that look – that the eyes formed a core part of – that will be an abiding memory of Bowie.

So, why were they apparently two different colours?

Complete heterochromia is a fairly rare condition (in humans) whereby each iris is a distinctly different colour, such as having one blue iris and the other brown.

But this isn’t why Bowie’s eyes looked different.

Instead, the unusual appearance of Bowie’s eyes were due to a condition called anisocoria. Anisocoria is a condition characterized by an unequal size in a person’s pupils. In Bowie’s case, his left pupil was permanently dilated.

This can create the illusion of having different coloured eyes because the fixed pupil does not respond to changes in light, while the right pupil does. So Bowie’s left eye often appeared to be quite dark, due to the blackness of his dilated pupil, when compared to the blue of his right iris.

The dilated pupil of his left eye was also potentially more prone to the effect of “red eye”. This sometimes adds to the appearance of a different color when contrasted to his right eye.

Red eye occurs when light reflects off of the fundus (the back of the eye), through an open pupil, and captures a red coloration by picking up tonality from the blood in the choroid lining of the eyeball.

This can clearly be seen in the Aladdin Sane – Eyes Open photograph by Brian Duffy (shot in 1973 but unpublished until 2011) that was used as the lead image on the posters for the V&A David Bowie is (2013) exhibition.

So what happened?

Anecdotally, the cause of Bowie’s anisocoria was attributed to the fallout from a lusty scrap in the spring of 1962. Bowie had come to blows with a friend, George Underwood, over a girl they were both hoping to date.

Both were just 15 at the time and their friendship seemingly remained intact. The two performed together in various bands before Underwood turned from music to painting and graphics. But Bowie’s left eye remained seriously damaged.

An impulsive punch had accidentally scratched the eyeball, resulting in paralysis of the muscles that contract the iris. From that day, Bowie’s left pupil remained in a fixed open position.

Over time, Bowie apparently thanked his friend for his notorious eye injury, telling Underwood that it gave him “a kind of mystique”. This mystique helped fuel some of Bowie’s greatest creations and enhance iconic images, such as the album cover for Heroes (1977).

His eyes could appear eerie and mismatched, producing a captivating or mesmeric gaze from on stage or through the lens of a camera. And the uncanny appearance of Bowie’s eyes was ideal for a performer who embraced ideas of the alien, the outsider, the otherworldly and the occult.

In an increasingly visual world seemingly preoccupied by perfection, Bowie’s damaged left pupil became an intrinsic and arresting part of his enigmatic identity.

 

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15 Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

The wish to be liked by the opposite sex is natural, and that’s the reason why girls trying to find the answer to the question “What do men like?” end up improving those parts of their bodies they think will drive any man crazy.

We wondered what answer men themselves would give to this question. Some of their answers surprised us very much.

15. The ability to find a way out of awkward situations

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Men keep repeating that they are attracted by the naturalness both in behavior and in appearance. It turns out that your reaction to unexpected situations is also important. If a girl can admit that she made a mistake instead of trying to justify it or getting angry, it’s a true way of getting the admiration of an interested male.

14. Kindness

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Men always notice kind deeds, especially if they are considering this girl for a long-lasting relationship. Even scientists have proof of this fact. It’s not for nothing that they say good returns; as it turns out, it returns as an increased attention from men.

13. Emotional condition

According to men, one of the most unpleasant female types is girls with a negative outlook on the world. Men notice everything that troubles you in life and worsens your mood every now and then: nasty work, quarrels with parents, sufferings from unfulfilled dreams. They start to associate your image with anguish while they want to have a source of positivity. This is why they easily get charmed by happy women who are able to enjoy life.

You won’t manage to pretend for a long time because your man will notice how suppressed you are inside even if you will be trying your best to seem the happiest person in the world. That’s why you should learn to find simple joys in daily life. First of all, though, it’s you who need it the most.

12. Nails

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Many girls are sure that nobody except for the manicure master is interested in their nails. However, it appears that men appreciate well-groomed hands (though they may not notice the exact nail polish color or the shape of your nails) as that helps them to identify how well the girl takes care of herself.

11. Financial condition

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Women wanted equality of rights and they got it. That’s the reason why not only women look at the financial condition of men but vice versa as well. Yes, this topic is very delicate, but it’s important. Hence, be sure that men ask about your finances not out of curiosity but to draw some conclusions as well. If you earn more money than he does, he might need some time to understand if he is able to face such a situation. If you earn less than him, he might need this time to determine if your interests are not solely financial in nature.

10. Self-esteem

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Men like to compliment women who themselves know they are worth those words and they hate to reassure those women who are used to neglecting their beauty. There is no less an attractive woman for men than the one who always questions her own beauty.

The confidence in being beautiful usually compensates any imaginary or real flaws in appearance. By realizing it, one can easily become the very pretty woman that men dream about.

9. Attitude to other girls

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

If you gave an unkind look to a pretty girl passing by, or, moreover, you let yourself make an unpleasant comment about her, you can be sure that your man noticed it and interpreted it as having a full set of complexes together with an envious and incisive character.

8. Style

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Some men are not that good when it comes to following the latest fashion trends, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t care about the way a girl looks. Your style can be a decisive factor for introducing himself to you because every man has his opinion on how his dream girl should look. Some will not dare to approach a girl with bright hair while others are conversely repelled by clichés. This is why one should never adjust to other people’s tastes — you won’t be able to be equally liked by everyone.

7. Footwear

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Yes, men are extremely attentive to the person they are interested in- from nails to footwear. No, they don’t try to identify the designer of your shoes or to remember the rules of color combinations between shoes and bags; they pay attention to how comfortable you feel in your footwear. When a girl puts on shoes with a huge and unstable heel, it only brings irritation and the wish to finish the date as soon as possible.

6. The number of friends

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

For men, it’s important that their girlfriend has her own life with real friends with whom she has gone through fire and water. They get alarmed by the absence of close friend and having many acquaintances that keep changing every now and then.

5. Anything backless

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Not an inner quality, though, but still worth mentioning. Backless tops and dresses are a great and easy way of showing a little skin while keeping things classy. They are super feminine — it’s a very sexy and womanly way of revealing a part of your body without opening too much.

4. Laughter

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Without many words here, girls that are not afraid to show their emotions always bewitch men.

3. Sense of humor

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

When describing a perfect girl you will always find such a point as a sense of humor. The research only proves that girls who can make funny jokes and understand them as well seem to be more attractive. Those who don’t possess this set of qualities are not considered to be as lovable.

2. Tiredness

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

It’s a well-known fact that insomnia and the lack of sleep don’t make us attractive and even cosmetics won’t be able to hide the information about our daily regime from a man. In one study, men were shown photos of attractive women, some of whom had 8-9 hours the night before and others who hadn’t slept at all. Those who did not sleep seemed less attractive, sad, and aggressive to men.

1. Aspirations

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

We live in a world full of events and rhythms. That is probably the reason why a wish to live a full life to turn big, crazy dreams and plans into realities and to aspire to reach new heights while still searching for sources of inspiration is a very important factor for making girls attractive to men. Passivity and laziness in girls turn modern men off. However, women are also not attracted to this kind of men. Do you agree?

Are there any other factors you would add to this list? Please share them in the comments!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am EST.

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How People Change Their Love Lives According to Money

How People Change Their Love Lives According to Money

The relationship between love and money, which has always been rocky, may have suffered another blow in early 2018, when British psychologists proved they could change the way people felt about dating by directing their attention to shiny wealth-related objects. Single people, upon being prompted to think about luxury items, expressed a preference for more short-term flings than they had beforehand.

Researchers at Swansea University showed 75 men and 75 women pictures of 50 potential love-interests and asked them if they would be interested in a long, short or non-existent relationship with that person. They then showed some of the participants photos of fancy cars, high-end jewelry, big houses or actual cash. After the viewers had seen those images, they were shown the photos of the opposite sex again and compared to the group that were not shown any luxury photos, they chose 16% more short-term partners.

Contrary to stereotype — and the researchers’ expectations — there was no discernible difference between the genders. Moreover, lest we start to feel bad about the human species’ gold-digging tendencies, most participants were not switching prospective long-term partners to short-term because of money. The study group just opted for a more fling-heavy mix. They were also shown images of dangerous animals and videos of children. After seeing those, both men and women chose a higher rate of long-term partners, but some women showed a greater preference for short-term partners as well.

The psychologists did not actually set out to prove anything about the effect of money (or danger or kids) on love. Instead, they were trying to ascertain whether human mating preferences switch in real-time according to the environment. “Our main aim with the paper was to try to demonstrate the existence of a ‘mating calibration’ mechanism,” says Andrew G. Thomas, a psychology lecturer at Swansea University and the lead author of the study.

The theory is that what he calls “a psychological organ” (which is like a regular organ except it exists in the brain) evolved over time to assess the environment and adjust mating preferences accordingly. In other words, humans have developed a flexible mating strategy; we are neither wholly monogamists nor inveterate players. Each person’s approach can change according to circumstances. This study demonstrated this change in behavior, its authors say, within an experimental setting for the first time.

“Short- and long-term mating preferences are sometimes presented as opposites, like two sides of the same coin: If you have a preference for one, then you don’t for the other,” says Thomas. “However, what we believe is that humans evolved the capacity to pursue both types of mating conditionally. People have separate degrees of preference for both short-term and long-term relationships, and which one is ultimately pursued depends on their relative strengths. So individuals may find themselves in a committed relationship because their preference for long-term mating overshadows their preference for casual mating — though a preference for the latter may still be there, lurking in the background.”

Why does wealth change partnering preferences, then? It’s all about offspring. When people are in an environment of plenty, the theory holds, they are more inclined to short-term mating relationships because they can imagine raising young on their own. “For example, in environments which have lots of resources, it would have been easier for ancestral mothers to raise children without the fathers’ help,” writes Thomas. “This made short-term mating a viable option for both sexes during times of resource abundance.” In more straitened eras, men and women need each other to stick around and contribute.

However, there are other theories for why humans change their romantic behavior around money. A 2014 study out of Singapore found that those with materialistic values had a more negative attitude towards marriage and children generally. And an earlier British study suggested that women exposed to photos of fast cars become more impulsive.

If humans can change mating preferences that quickly, there are new questions. Do we have to worry that a partner who watches a lot of Keeping up With the Kardashians might change his or her level of commitment? And how do we set up a dating profile that encourages the right kind of mate? “It’s unlikely that showing your partner pictures of jewelry and fast cars will cause them to become promiscuous,” says Thomas. “If our mate preferences were that fragile, then enduring relationships wouldn’t exist. However, if someone were to be exposed to strong and persistent signals that their environment had changed in some way (following a job promotion, or during an economic recession for example), then this might cause them to change the type of relationship they want.”

So those who just want to have fun should continue to pose beside Ferraris wielding bottles of Dom Perignon in their dating-app photos. And those who are looking for something more serious might want to wrangle a shot with a friend’s baby or a tiger. Probably not both at once, however.

 

Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your feedback on this subject!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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