First Time For Everything: Dating A Grandfather

Here’s one from one of my female readers.

Last year, I had sex with a grandfather. That sounds bad, but I didn’t know he was a grandpa until after we’d done it. Plus, he’s a good thirty years younger than my own grandfather. But still, at 53, he had two kids and a baby granddaughter, while at 32, I’m itching to give birth to my own babies. When he confessed his real age to me over lunch following our hotel-room hookup (he’d told me he was 48), I assured him that I didn’t mind.

And at first, I didn’t. Part of what attracted me to him was that he was mature. He owned his own home, had a secure job. His life wasn’t as precarious as the other guys I’d recently dated. He seemed steady and solid, thoughtful, and I liked the idea of him presiding over a family. It made me feel like he’d be protective and gentlemanly, but still hot.

It was easier to pretend the age gap didn’t matter when it was just the two of us, but the realization that, if I were to get pregnant, our child would be younger than his granddaughter, unnerved me.

Don’t think that because he was solidly “middle-aged” that he wasn’t good in bed. His hair was salt and pepper sexy, and he had a lean, muscular body. He was one of the best lovers I’ve ever had. We met at a party. He was visiting New York from England and we wound up kissing and whispering pressed up against a barstool at Marion’s. “I want to kiss you all over,” he said in his sexy accent, and I couldn’t resist going home with him.

He was staying in a crappy hotel downtown, and while I’d expected all manner of tenderness, he showed me his forceful side. “What do you like?” he asked, and wouldn’t take mumbling for an answer.

“I like to be spanked,” I whispered. Even though you can pretty much discern that within two seconds of Googling me, it still embarrasses me to tell a new lover that—and I mean “embarrass” in the hottest way possible. He was intrigued, and proceeded to deliver on my wish.

Because things had gone so well, I decided to throw caution to the wind and go visit him. I realized that the likelihood of things working out between us was slim, but he was so enticing. An older, protective, sexy man, waiting for me with a cozy apartment and open arms. Again, whereas I was used to dating guys who could barely afford their own dinner, let alone mine, his offer was enticing.

At first, his pretty, warm, library-like apartment felt like paradise. I tried to ignore the warning signs, like almost missing my flight and my brand-new suitcase not closing.

We never talked about the age difference, but it was there between us. When I introduced him to my twentysomething cousins, I felt distinctly uneasy. Was it obvious we were involved, or could he just be a friend? It was easier to pretend the age gap didn’t matter when it was just the two of us, but the realization that, if I were to get pregnant, our child would be younger than his granddaughter, unnerved me.

Plus, if things worked out, what would his kids think of me, someone just a few years older than they were? It made me feel a bit dirty, and not in the hot way.

I’m not opposed to age differences per se; in fact, most people I’ve dated have been at least a few years older, often over ten years older. But if someone has fifteen years on you and has never been married, that difference doesn’t matter as much. You probably have more in common in terms of the life of a single person than not; they’ve just been doing it longer. Throw in an ex-wife, kids, and grandkids, and it gets murkier. It’s not just that they come with baggage, it’s also that I don’t. I felt behind the curve, even though it’s not a competition; at 24, he’d been a dad, which made me feel like even more of an old maid than I already do.

Ultimately, it’s a push/pull kind of thing for me; knowing someone has that paternal instinct is a huge turn-on, but if they’ve already gone there, and, in his case, beyond, I feel unbalanced. Next time, no matter how hot a man is, I’ll draw the line at parenthood.

 

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Rebecca – Chapter 6 – Cypress and the Oak – Part 3

I met Rebecca 3 years ago on a date. Rebecca has recently made an appearance in my life so I thought I’d re-run this series so everyone won’t have to go back and search for her series to catch up. Enjoy!

Fall of 2016

We headed down Chestnut Street to Mix. I love Mix. It’s just slightly outside of the Rittenhouse bubble. How can you not love a place that has a full bar and serves delicious reasonably priced brick oven pies? Sure Zavino is good down at 13th and Sansom, but I’m not going down there. Too crowded, and too expensive.

We get there and head to the back room. The front of the house looks like a regular pizza place, but you keep walking, and the back is a bar with tables. We grab a high top and look at the menus. It’s clear to me a great weight has been lifted from Rebecca’s shoulders. We order up and sip our beers.

Piping hot delicious pie comes out and all is right with the world.

“What’s better than pizza and beer?” She says, as we tap our bottles and take a swig. “Free pizza and beer,” was my reply. She laughs and looks at me while taking a pull from her Corona. “Hey, how come you didn’t ‘Super Like’ me on Tinder?” She quips, smiling.

“What? I don’t ‘Super Like’ anybody.”

“Come on. You must have at least tried it once.”

“Don’t you only get a few of those? You can’t ‘Super Like’ everybody, or people would do it.”

“See? You know about it, so you must have done it at least once.”

“Okay. Maybe once. Now that you mention it, I may have ‘Super Liked’ somebody just to try it.”

“Do you remember who?”

“Maybe it was some really hot little Asian chick.”

“Oh, so you’re into Asian girls.”

“Who isn’t? They’re adorable, smart, and nice.”

She laughs. “Did you ever date an Asian girl?”

“I did. When we first got to L.A. I did.”

“I thought you had a steady girlfriend out there?”

“I did. But it was before her. I was 19 years old. Back then the drinking age in New Jersey was 18 and I was legal, but in California it was 21 so I had to get my friend Frank who was 21 to get all of our alcohol. So we were in a bar one night checking out some bands. He got the drinks and brought them to the table and I told him as thanks, I’d bring us some talent to the table.”

“Talent?” she inquired.

“You know what I mean. I went downstairs and met these two sisters. The Yamomatos. One was my buddy’s age and her little sister was my age. I told them we had a table upstairs and asked them to join us and they did. It was so easy back then.

“So what happened? Did you guys sleep with the sisters? I think I like this story.”

“No. Well yes. My buddy slept with the older one eventually. I didn’t sleep with the little sister.”

“Why not?”

“She was in love with this older guy that she was banging.”

“Really? I like her already.”

“Oh, thanks a lot. You’re happy I didn’t get any loving.”

“No. Think about why I like her…” She gives me that grin and those eyes.

“Ohhh…” I’m smiling now.

“So how did it all end up?”

“My buddy would ask me to leave our apartment some nights so he could throttle big sister. I remember he used to put a sock on the door knob to let everybody know it was off-limits.”

“Oh my God, that is so college.”

“Well he went to college, I didn’t, so I guess he had a move.”

“You never tried to get baby sister into bed?”

“No, she liked making out with me and stuff, but not much else. Just dating stuff, like going to record stores.”

“So nothing ever?”

“Well, we fooled around some, but she used to like this thing where I stuck my tongue in her ear for periods of time. It used to really drive her nuts. I’ve never met anyone since then that was into that.”

“So her heart belonged to some older guy, huh?”

“Yep. I think she said he was in his thirties or early forties. At the time I just couldn’t understand that. I mean, she had this young, lean rock guitarist, lion cub right in front of her. Me with my long blonde mane of hair and all.”

“Yea, but you were young and inexperienced. Maybe she wanted a man.”

“Well, at the time I didn’t understand why she would want that. I was right there.”

“Well, I’m sure he had things that you couldn’t provide.”

“Oh, you mean like expensive dinners, and jewelry and stuff like that?”

“No. Maybe she wanted a gentleman that would take her to the museum, not just to impress her, but could actually appreciate the art, and talk about it. Maybe he took her to the ballet and the symphony. You don’t know. I’m sure she was attracted to you cause you were cute, but maybe she loved him, and that’s why she reserved that part of herself only for him. You might have just been her boy toy.”

“Probably. But I enjoyed being with her because she was cute and nice. I hadn’t ever kissed an Asian girl. I like things that are new and different.”

“Do you see the correlation here?” She says inquisitively.

I paused. “I do, Rebecca.”

“Were these girls smart?”

“Of course, they were Asian. Their parents worked in pharmaceuticals. They lived out in Washington Hills. That’s a nice area. I’m surprised somebody didn’t call the cops when my 1969 Volkswagen mini bus rolled up, and a German and an Irishman jumped out and went into the house. Their parents were away a lot. Palm Springs and Vegas mostly. They had an intercom in their house. I didn’t even know what that was.”

“Why would someone have that?”

“It was a big house. They had money. I would get on the intercom and pretend to be their father to scare my buddy when he was upstairs in the bedroom fooling around with big sister. I would be like; “Dude! We have to get out of here! Their parents are home! Then I would do an awful impression of an angry Asian man hollering over the intercom that he was going to kill the dirty Irishman that was deflowering his daughter with his shillelagh.”

Rebecca lost her shit right there. She was laughing so hard she choked on her pizza. It reminded me of when I used to do funny bits at the dinner table with my Mom and sisters. I would actually try to get them to spit out their food, or even better make them laugh so hard they passed something through their noses.

“Oh my God, that is crazy. You’re so funny!”

I’ve heard that so many times before from women. I would say it’s my gift, but it’s just the way my mind works. Sometimes people mistake light heartedness as immaturity or simplicity, but they’re all wrong. To be truly funny you have to see the sadness and pain of the world. It’s all time and irony. A mind that can laugh at tragedy. One who can make light of things that are painful or embarrassing is an open mind. One who can laugh at himself. It’s like all great theater. Joy and tragedy. I was so happy to make lovely Rebecca laugh. I haven’t felt this kind of joy since my ex-girlfriend Michelle, when we used to talk about everything.

And I mean Everything. (See: Michelle – A Brand New Day)

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Habits That Keep You Broke

It is becoming more and more common for people to complain about their finances openly. It is no longer uncommon to hear your friends, family or acquaintances tell you that they are “too broke” for a specific event or purchase. Admitting that inflation has made life extremely expensive for the common man, there are some habits that tend to keep you broke perpetually. This is a state of being that exists regardless of how much wealth you inherit or how much money you earn that arises from consistently maintaining these financially terrible decisions.

Living Above Your Means

In a world where appearing rich has become more important than being rich, most people tend to live above their means. They manage their extravagant expenses on credit cards and other forms of debt, thus leaving them paying a substantial sum towards interest payments while living in constant worry over meeting bill payments.

You Don’t Track Your Money

If you constantly find yourself wondering where all your money went, then you fall into this category. A common mistake people make is not keeping track of their cash flow. Several apps are now available to help you keep track of this by noting your inflow sources, your outflow sources and presenting you with a composite chart of where your money is spent. It is important to know where you spend more of your money in order to be able to know where you can cut down on your spending.

You Remain Lazy About Your Finances

It is common for people to procrastinate with regard to those activities which do not excite them or which do not require immediate attention. Understanding and working about with your personal finances tends to fall into this category and gets pushed over to a stage in life where you’re in financial pain already or have too little money for savings. Keeping track of your finances on a weekly basis is our recommendation.

You Spend Before You Save

A common saying in the Finance World is “Pay yourself first”. This talks about the importance of your first chunk of income being set aside for savings and emergency cushions and the balance amount being used to pay bills and debt. This helps to keep you afloat in all situations as opposed to the strategy of spending lavishly while saving scarcely and erratically.

You Expect Quick Results

Another common mistake you make is that you’re trying to get rich quick. This leads to getting caught up in quick-money scams or dissolving investments at the slightest of losses. Building wealth takes time, patience and perseverance.

You Live In A Consumer’s Mind-set

Consumer Mentality focuses on extravagant purchases of items such as clothing, accessories, cars, boats, etc. However, focus on such purchases leads away from purchases in appreciating assets such as Real Estate, Commodities, Stocks, ad so on. Constantly focusing on consumer purchases rather than investor purchases leaves you happy in the moment but unhappy in the long run. A balance between the two is required in order to live a happy and financially healthy life.

You Are Trying To Impress The World

Thanks to social media and a consumer mentality, everyone’s trying to one-up their followers on Instagram and Twitter with materialistic purchases. Instead of spending wisely, you’d rather post pictures of the expensive shopping spree you went on or the luxury vacation you took, etc. Focusing on your own money goals is more important than impressing others who in turn are trying to impress you with their posts!

You Rely On Your Credit Card Wrongly

Credit cards give you access to purchases even when you don’t have money in hand. One of the biggest mistakes we can make is using our credit cards to purchase items which we cannot afford. This essentially helps us fall into debt traps and keeps us constantly broke.

You Have No Financial Goals

Setting financial goals is crucial as that is what provides you with incentive to implement your financial plans. Choosing to save over spending requires us to prioritize a future need in lieu of today’s desire. This isn’t an easy choice to stick to but can be made easier by knowing that the money you’re keeping aside is for a new house, higher education, a comfortable retirement, etc.

You Don’t Know Basic Finance

No matter how many experts you get on board for help, you must be able to take charge of your money. Knowing the basics of investing, saving and personal finance can make all the difference in your thinking and spending habits.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Here’s What Happens To Your Body If You Drink Less Than A Bottle Of Water Per Day

Almost any health-related article contains the magic phrase ‘drink plenty of water’. But what exactly happens if you don’t?

Up to 60% of the human adult body is made up of water. In fact, H.H. Mitchell stated in the Journal of Biological Chemistry that the brain and the heart are comprised of 73% water, while the lungs are around 83% water.

Our bodies use water in all cells, organs, and tissues to regulate and maintain normal function and temperature. It is essential for keeping our kidneys, skin and other organs in top working condition.

You lose more water throughout the day than you realize- your body loses water through sweating, digestion, excretion and even breathing. This means it is crucial to rehydrate by drinking water, as well as by eating foods with high water content.

Downing a specific amount of water is not that high on anyone’s priority list, and unless you are watching a water-intensive film like Aquaman or Moana (watching all that water in high definition had me really thirsty), it’s easy to forget to chug enough water when preoccupied with work and chores.

Some lesser known benefits of staying sufficiently hydrated are:

•    It promotes weight loss by helping to get rid of the by-products of fats while keeping you satiated.

•    It helps form saliva and mucus, which keeps our nose, mouth, eyes, and throat moist while protecting them from damage and friction due to dryness.

•    It is the key to glowing, healthy, nourished skin, by making it less prone to turning dry and wrinkling.

•    It regulates body temperature, especially for those who live in hot climates or are highly physically active.

•    Cartilage in the joints contains water that is necessary for keeping them lubricated and healthy to provide sufficient cushioning and avoid joint pain.

•    Staying hydrated keeps your energy up and your brain working at its optimal level.

•    It keeps your body’s waste disposal system functioning efficiently.

•    It boosts your immune system.

So how much water does one really need?

There is no hard and fast rule to follow when it comes to how much water one must drink.

Water intake is dependent on a lot of internal as well as external factors such as age, weight, gender, activity levels, and temperature of the surrounding area.

A general recommendation is to drink six to eight glasses of water a day, which comes to about 1.5 to 2 liters of water a day. Since most disposable bottles are can hold about half a liter, this means that one must down three to four bottles of water daily.

What happens when you don’t drink enough water?

Your body sends delayed thirst signals to your mind, which unfortunately means that, by the time you become aware of your thirst, your body is already dehydrated.

•    Even mild dehydration (fluid loss of as little as 1-3%) negatively affects energy levels, attention span, motor coordination, and mood, and can lead to significant reductions in memory and brain performance.

•    Your appearance will get affected if you remain dehydrated for an extended period. Skin dulls down and loses its glow, and lips become dry and begin to peel. Your mouth and throat may also feel dry, which can actually cause an increase in caries due to the absence of the natural cavity-fighting effects of saliva. The lack of water can also lead to the undesirable occurrence of bad breath or halitosis caused by a build-up of bacteria in your mouth.

•    When you perform physical activity on a dehydrated body, it can cause you to feel dizzy, faint or exhausted. You will begin to feel constantly tired, even after getting enough sleep.

•    This can also lower the volume of blood in your body. The thicker your blood becomes, the harder your cardiovascular system has to work. Your heart rate and breathing may both increase due to this.

•    Insufficient water also impairs the body’s ability to properly regulate temperature, which increases your body temperature, also known as hyperthermia.

•    Your digestive and excretory systems will be out of whack. This means you will experience the highly uncomfortable side effect called constipation. Furthermore, you won’t pee very often, and when you do, your urine will be darker than usual, as opposed to the standard pale yellow it should be, which is not a good sign.

•    Another somewhat unexpected consequence of insufficient hydration is that you gain water weight. Your body begins to retain as much water as it can, which may make your face and extremities puffy and swollen. This gets resolved when you start to drink a sufficient amount of water again.

•    You may also experience frequent, unexplained headaches. Without the requisite amount of water, your cells will shrink. This can cause your brain actually to shrink from fluid loss, which causes a headache. These headaches can range from mild and dull to severely debilitating but quickly disappear after gulping down some H2O.

•    No one likes it when you’re cranky, which is precisely what you’ll be if you don’t hydrate properly. Not only will people begin to avoid you because of the sudden change in your temperament, but dehydration will also adversely affect your own ability to perform daily tasks and chores.

•    Overeating is a common consequence of being dehydrated. This happens when your mind misinterprets the thirst signals as hunger pangs, causing you to eat more than you usually would. Furthermore, without water to fill your tummy and keep you satiated, you have more space for that extra serving of food.

Here's What Happens To Your Body If You Drink Less Than A Bottle Of Water Per Day

How can you monitor your hydration levels?

Once you have identified if you are dehydrated or not, maintaining proper levels of hydration is easy! Following these steps will help you stay hydrated:

1.    Pay attention to how much you drink: track your water intake for a week by maintaining a daily log. This will help you identify and rectify any shortages in your water intake.

2.    Keep an eye on your peeing habits: It is normal to urinate around 3 to 4 times a day. Any less than that means you have to up your water intake, ASAP. Your pee should also be a pale yellow or clear color.

3.    Carry a water bottle with you wherever you go.

4.    Be aware of how and when you feel thirsty, and be sure to rehydrate as soon as you do to help clean your liver.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Alicia – Chapter 5 – Get Her Number

I used to be at war with my demons and now we’re all on the same side.

I need my sleep from life in general. I wake late on Monday morning. There are things I need to do. They need to happen today. The first day of the week. I have to go deposit my check and talk to Alicia.

There’s no real reason to do any of this, other that the directive that always drives me. I like Alicia my favorite teller, and I want to break the shell of her understanding and take her to a nice lunch. I want to get to know her.

Why?

Why not. I’m attracted to her and her aloofness. That and those arms. It’s weird but it’s mine. There’s something unique about her. If I can just secure some time with her outside the credit union I can learn all about her. Is it for me or the blog?

Do I really want to get to know this stranger that handles my money or am I just doing this to create content for phicklephilly?

Have I done things before that have simply driven the blog? I’m starting to think that I have. I’m managing my current relationship as best I can and all of the facets that come with that but why this teller?

I know nothing about her. She’s behind bulletproof glass. Is this simply a new goal for me to keep my life interesting and drop the dopamine?

I’m starting to think that. Is the art now driving my life?

I don’t have a problem with that but I can feel the anxiety placing its cold fingers around my heart as I climb the steps to my credit union.

I take some deep breaths as I unbutton my overcoat and loosen my scarf.

“I need to get into character and just do this.”

I walk into the credit union and head to the desk. I fill out my deposit slip. My hands are shaking a bit. Am I just nervous or are dementia tremors kicking in from the drinking? I write my name and social security number and it looks like the writing of an old man.

I’m 55. Middle age has got me by the throat, but I still have mad game and after decades of dealing with my anxiety and depression… I can push those loser off me.

I know what I’m going to say. I worked it out all weekend. I’m ready. I’m going to run the program like I always have. I’m so good at this now. I turn to Depression and tell him to cheer up and go to work. I turn to Anxiety and tell him to settle down and just be excited at the prospect of a new lady.

I used to be at war with these demons and now we’re all on the same side.

Get in line.

I’m standing there with my paperwork. There are tellers waiting on customers. Just another boring Monday at the office.

I see her.

Alicia.

Her back is turned and she’s working on something at the back counter behind the teller area.

Fuck! She won’t see me. I’ll have to go to one of these other people.

Bust suddenly she turns and sees me. She smiles.

“I can take you down here.”

Time to close this.

I scamper down to her window. The credit union’s quiet. I need to do this now. I push my check and deposit slip into the slit under the bulletproof glass.

“How are you? Nice to see you.”

“You too.”

This is where the rubber meets the road my friends. The move has to be made now or you will lose forever.

“You said you like french toast.”

“Yeah” she smiles.

“On the weekends brunch goes to 3pm, but during the week breakfast ends at 11am. Most end at 10:30. The only place to get french toast in this city during the week after 11am is Midtown Diner. I’m not taking you there. Great spot, but no. I spoke with my friend Jason at Square 1682. He’s the General Manager. I described the dilemma of your 11am lunch break. He told me if I email him and give him the day we’re meeting for lunch he assured me that you will have french toast for lunch at 11 even though breakfast ends at 10:30. And the french toast at Square 1682 is slammin.”

Alicia is listening intently and smiles. She is delighted by my efforts.

This is how you date my friends.

Go slowly. Build the trust. Make her laugh. Make her feel safe. Be non menacing. Be trustworthy. Be creative. Bend time. Be original. Be extraordinary.

So many men fire off to quickly and blow it. My father taught me to be the lion lying in the grass and doing nothing. Like wine it could take years. Most men aren’t that patient. You have to be if you want something. I’ve waited years for the things I’ve wanted.

If you can do that and be elegant, you’ll close the sale and win the girl.

It may not work out, but it’s never the kill. It’s the thrill of the chase.

That’s the true rush of romance. The best part. The unknown. The excitement of the possibilities.

This could just be a lunch, but I want nothing more from Alicia. I love the idea of the old horse being able to get a lunch date with a beautiful young girl though bulletproof glass can still happen.

I tell her my efforts and Alicia is entranced.

“I can’t do this week, but next Thursday at 11 would work.”

“Perfect. May have your number?”

Alicia grabs a pink post it and scrawls down her phone number. She sticks it to my deposit receipt and thrusts it back to me under the glass.

 

The die has been cast. I’ve won after over a year of desire.

I tell her I’ll push her my contact info in a text. She smiles and agrees.

I’ve done it.

There is a pause and we look into each others eyes. We smile and I realize I have all I need and my transaction is done.

“Okay then. I’ll set it up.”

“Yea. Have a great day, Charles.”

“I have some more checks to deposit so I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay.” (smiles)

I walk out of the credit union. Should I go out and have a celebratory smoke or go eat before my shift at the salon because I have to train the new girl (Eileen or Amelia) tonight?

Go eat. You’ve earned it buddy!

 

Lunch date with hot Alicia!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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13 Things Rich People Don’t Spend Their Money On, While Poor People Are Ready to Take Out Loans for Them

There are things that speak to a person’s financial wealth. Usually, they are things like fur coats, fine jewelry, and expensive watches. Some poor people are ready to save their money for years or even take out loans to be able to buy these things. However, rich people around the world have gradually stopped indicating their social status this way.

We at Bright Side are big supporters of sensible spending and that’s why we want to highlight symbols of wealth that are not trendy anymore. There are still many people who haven’t realized this yet.

1. Gold jewelry

Stylish and wealthy women usually wear a moderate amount of gold jewelry when attending events. In addition, the quality of these items is the biggest priority for them. Some of them even prefer large jewelry.

For those whose financial position is not stable, buying gold is still considered an investment. It is believed that by buying a gold item, you create a stash for rainy days in the form of a gold chain or a ring. That’s why poor girls prefer to wear jewelry with the mantra: “I’m wearing the best of what I have.”

2. Clothes and shoes from expensive brands

Oftentimes, even very wealthy people are indifferent to branded clothing and wear ordinary, mass-market jeans and sweaters that are basic items in their wardrobe and in their everyday life. In one of his interviews, Bill Gates outlined that the watch on his wrist cost $10, despite the fact that he could afford millions of watches from the most famous brands. Instead of shopping, rich people try to explore the other pleasures that life has to offer, like entertainment and travel. This means more to them than a brand new bag.

3. Plastic surgery

Earlier, plastic surgery was pretty popular around the world — everyone wanted to have a perfect body and a flawless face. Rich men would even offer to pay for the transformation of their “chosen ones,” while the girls didn’t mind at all. Today more and more celebrities and wealthy people are against plastic surgery and are promoting having love for one’s body and wrinkles.

Meanwhile, many girls are still ready to cut back on a lot of things in order to save enough money for lip and breast surgeries, as well as other procedures that could help them look young and meet the current understanding of beauty ideals, which are actually fading into the past.

4. Fur coats

Famous designers and their wealthy clients are refusing to wear fur coats, since they believe that it is unethical to wear them. There were cases when animal advocates poured paint on girls who were wearing fur coats. In addition, California state has a law banning the wearing and selling of natural fur.

But fur coats are still considered a luxury item and an indicator of social status for some girls. However, theoretically, they can be easily replaced by frost-resistant down jackets, winter coats, or warm fur coats that are made of artificial fur.

5. Flying in business class

Rational people around the world want to travel modestly, even if they have the financial ability to pay more. For example, the founder of IKEA, Ingvar Kamprad, believes that flying business class is an unnecessary luxury, that’s why all IKEA employees, despite their level, fly in economy class and stay in inexpensive hotels.

However, many people with a moderate income are ready to overpay for a trip in business class, despite the fact that prices for air tickets continue to rise and business class tickets have seen the highest increases. In fact, thanks to the existence of expensive business class fares, airlines can keep affordable fares for economy class. When we know about this fact, business class flights stop looking so attractive.

6. Home appliances

Wealthy people don’t strive to buy the latest models of home appliances. If the previous model they bought still works perfectly, they see no need to buy a new one. At the same time, this rule is constantly broken by people with an average income — consumer loans are taken out for any household appliances and gadgets.

This also relates to “one-time” home appliances like waffle irons, pancake makers, ice cream makers, and fondue pots, as well as massagers with 15 nozzles. Most often, people use these super devices only one or 2 times, and afterward they just lie on a shelf and “stare” at their owners with dumb reproach for insensibly spent money.

7. A lot of knick-knacks

Successful people try to keep minimalism in their home’s design. Rich people increasingly prefer simplicity in their interiors, so as not to be distracted by household items and so they don’t waste time choosing and buying furniture, or repairing it. It helps them free up time for family, relationships, meeting friends, and work.

Oftentimes, the middle class try to fill their houses with various interior details and the latest trendy things. They strive to constantly improve their interior, distracting themselves from the really important immaterial things.

8. A big house

Wealthy people prefer to buy promising real estate, for little money, in order to make a profit when it grows in price. For example, billionaire Warren Buffett still lives in the same modest house that he bought in 1958. His cozy house in Nebraska state only cost him $30,000, today it’s estimated to be worth $650,000.

A Mexican billionaire whose fortune is estimated at $50 billion, also lives in a modest house that was bought long ago and avoids expensive things. Amancio Ortega, the founder of the Zara clothing store chain, also didn’t let his success infatuate him — he and his wife live in an ordinary house in Spain. A professor at Stanford University, David Cheriton, who owns $1.3 billion in Google shares, once said in his interview, “These people who build houses with 13 bathrooms and so on, there’s something wrong with them.”

The middle class, in contrast, is mainly driven by the saying, “Every man should plant a tree, build a house, and give birth to a son.” That’s why the life of many people starts to center around the construction of a big house, that sometimes doesn’t stop until the kids grow up. It takes a lot of money, time, and energy, while the expenses for maintaining the house itself and its territory take a big part of their income.

9. Luxury cars

Nowadays, wealthy people don’t buy new car brands if their own car is in good condition and meets all their needs. Even Facebook owner, Mark Zuckerberg, drives a Volkswagen with a manual transmission and says he never cared about “looking” rich.

However, many people around the world use expensive cars to boost their self-esteem and even not having the money to buy or maintain a vehicle like this doesn’t prevent them from getting one. They just take out car loans.

10. An expensive education

Millionaires know that a free education doesn’t differ much from an expensive one, while success in life is obtained by discipline, determination, and perseverance. In addition, nowadays big international companies are ready to hire young people for work, if they have the necessary knowledge. This means that professional experience and real skills are becoming more important than a college diploma.

At the same time, many people believe that if they pay for an education and get a diploma, they are buying a ticket to a successful life. As a result, young people take out huge loans to pay for their education, but after graduation, they have to work outside of their specialty for the next 5-10 years to pay back the loan to the bank, which means they spend the most precious years of their life doing this.

11. Buying lots of toys for their kids

Successful people came to the conclusion that they could harm their children by buying toys in unlimited quantities. Research proves it too: 36 children were offered the chance to play for half an hour with 4 or 16 toys. It was found that the kids from the first group (the ones who had 4 toys) showed more creativity and came up with more interesting ideas using fewer objects. If parents spend time with their kids and pay more attention to them, they will develop faster than if they are simply playing with a lot of toys.

At the same time, most parents admit that their kids are literally snowed under toys: their stuffed toys are so big that they require a separate apartment, their amount of dolls is so big that they could build a doll army, there are so many Legos that it’s possible to build a 2-story house out of them. Kids don’t have time to dream — they have everything and all their wishes come true too quickly. That’s the way parents show their love to their kids and give them the things they themselves didn’t have in their childhood.

12. Training and courses

Personal growth courses are a business, and the coaches there are not interested in the effective development of their clients. Because of this, it is impossible to transform your life drastically with the help of a training session like this. Successful people know that you can only change your life by continuously working on yourself and your goals.

At the same time, these courses have become incredibly popular among people who are planning to become successful. Even though their cost is pretty high, tickets are still sold really quickly. Poor people are often trying to find a magic pill that will change their life for the better. When one pill doesn’t work, they start to seek help from another coach.

13. The beauty sphere

Today, the natural color of nails speaks to privilege and wealth. Successful women prefer a neat, natural nail, in a modest pastel or nude shade that looks nice.

But many girls want to be sure that their manicure is noticeable by everyone around them, which is why they often opt for brighter colors of nail polish, unique designs with rhinestones, and extreme lengths. If the length is not enough, they go for artificial nails. This style is often chosen by middle class women who want to show that they have an idle and relaxed lifestyle.

Which things do you consider a part of your social status and are you not ready to give up?

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Phicklephilly Reaches 100,000 Page Views.

We finally did it!

Wow.

Just wow.

I recently published my end of the year (end of the decade) post for New Years. I sort of covered everything that was happening, and everything that’s going to happen in 2020. (Don’t worry. I’m sure there’ll be plenty of surprises!)

I had hoped to end 2019 with 100,000 page views but we fell short before the new year. (We hit 50,000 around Christmas of last year) But I could see with the way things were going that I’d probably hit 100,000 by January of 2020.

Well, here we are!

I suppose I should start by thanking everyone that has supported me since the beginning back in 2016.

First of all, to all of my loyal subscribers I owe you all a debt of gratitude. I really appreciate you taking the time to sign up and receive the daily emails to read my blog. Without you guys I’d probably still be struggling. Knowing there were those out there that cared enough to subscribe meant the world to me.

Then there are all of my regular daily readers. I love all of you too! Koolkosherkitchen, Joliesattic, Righteousbruin9, Ajeanneinthekitchen, porngirl3, Sdeden, just to name a few. You guys rock! I love what you all do and appreciate your words on a weekly basis. Always great comments and thoughts to inspire me.

I’m thinking back now…

All of the failed dates in the beginning. Valerie, June, Katsumi, Scarlett, Carol, Lizzie… You’re all part of this journey. I’m way beyond swiping right or left on anyone now, but I had to do those things to get me here. I appreciate you all for going on dates with me. I’m no box of chocolates anymore and you were all lovely women. I hope you have all found love and are happy now.

I also want to thank the following:

Maria: The kindly waitress who inspired me to start writing about how I felt about her and start this blog. Maria definitely had a certain something that inspired me to write about her. A great girl who struggles with herself but resilient as hell. I hope she’s doing well and has found a suitable career!

Rocco: My co-worker at the newspaper who always said that I should write about all of these women in my life. Rocco is doing well and now works in real estate. I hope you’re  well and happy, Sir! I miss our lunches together.

Church: Thank you for your friendship. You’ve been the inspiration for me to start writing dating and relationship advice back in 2017. As difficult as it is to constantly come up with new subjects to write about it’s become the foundation of phicklephilly as a viable daily publication. On top of all that, you’ve always been a great friend of mine and a cheerleader for my cause. I appreciate you getting it, and supporting me in all of my crazy adventures. Let’s make some new ones in this new decade, buddy! Thank you! (Church just started his own blog recently and I’m sure if he sticks with it, it’ll be a smash!)

Crazy women and toxic people: I appreciate you giving me the foresight to know what I want and what I don’t want in my life. I’ve written about all of you and I hope you’re doing well wherever you all are. The sex was great! Just steer clear of me!

Michelle: Thank you, dear. I never hear from you anymore and I understand why. (Married and baby) You were the love of my life and the very first series I accepted the challenge to compose. I know those stories don’t even begin to scratch the surface of what we had in our relationship, but I will never forget you. Thank you for loving me.

Annabelle: hmm… You get zero fucks, Miss.

Cherie: When I started this blog about dating and relationships I got back into the dating scene after several years of being absent. But within 6 months of its inception, you came into my life. How can I write a dating blog if I have a girlfriend? Well, 60 chapters later and here we are. I appreciate you giving me your heart.

James: Hey, best friend in Philly! I’ve shared so many great times with you. All of our talks, drinks, stories and love of movies is always a blast. You throw the best parties and are one of my favorite people in the world. Thank you for your friendship.

Kita: Thank you for coming into my life. You showed me that I could still get worked up about a new love. We were never really a thing, but I appreciate what you were to me on a weekly basis. I know the relationship was pretty much one sided but I didn’t mind. I was just happy to hang out with you! Our little encounters where absolutely electric and I wish you well, dear!

Johnny R: What can I say about Johnny that hasn’t already been spat out in this blog? I love the man who carries at least 7 vices around with him on a daily basis. You’ve always been an interesting character, and even though I haven’t seen you in over a year, we can always pick up just where we left off and I love that.

Alice: When the old crew that filled this blog with adventures fell away, (moved, left town, of got married) you’ve always been a constant in my life. You’re one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. I cherish our friendship and am so glad you’re still around. It was an absolute joy to sit in front of the fireplace with you at The Dandelion last month. You’re a delight, and even as I write this, I’m looking forward to seeing you soon and catching up on your stories.

Sabrina: Thanks for being my #1 fan. I know you’ve had some struggles in your life, but you’ve risen above it all in glorious fashion. I’m so proud of you. I know you don’t have many posts about you, but your words always inspire me to push on. I will never forget the day you said: “I love all of your stories. I pretend I’m the women in each story and love all the crazy things you get yourself into!” You’re the best, Sabrina!

Rebecca: I loved our early dates before Cherie, but you slipped away. I get it, but the brief moments we spent together were some of my finest in Philly. You’re a lovely girl and represent all that I want but cannot possess. I always thought you’d be the next big thing after Michelle, but destiny had it’s own plan for us I guess. I wish you well, dear.

Sarika: The prettiest girl I know in Philly. The brilliant, misunderstood scientist nerd who is one of the most unique women I’ve ever met. Thank you for spending all the time you did with me. I’ll never forget all of the parties, events, movies, and museum visits. Congratulations on your recent engagement. He appears to be a good man, and I’m glad that you’ve found happiness. I miss you, but wish you both health and joy!

Dina: I met you when you were 22 and working as an intern at the newspaper. Now you’re my broker and manage all of my money. I love you, and am so happy you’re in my life. I think my favorite thing about you is your acceptance of me. No matter what I did, you always approved and took my side. I will always appreciate your friendship. I recently found out that you’re expecting. That’s going to be one cute baby! Congrats!!!

There are so many other people that have been just great on this journey. I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for over three years! Like I said in my annual New Years blog, it all started with a single post.

if you want to do something, just take the first step. One step. Is that all it takes? NO. Take that first step and keep walking. Let go of the bars of your own prison and simply walk out. Writing has been an incredible liberating experience for me. I discovered while doing this that if you write it down, you’ll work it out. The best therapy for me in my later life has been writing. Maybe for you it’s painting, or music, cooking,or gardening. But whatever it is, please keep doing it. It will carry you forth through this life. 

Writing down all of my thoughts and feelings in this blog have cleared away all of the mist of my past. The clouds of my understanding opened and the sun shown through the darkness and confusion of my existence. By writing down what I experienced, I was able to sort it out and look at it clearly and see the whole picture. What it was. What it meant. Why it worked or failed. There was a calming effect that came with that. It has brought me more wisdom and understanding in my life. When you write it brings forth a document. A document of what has come to pass and what it really meant to you.

I don’t know what else to say at this point, Normally I can waffle on for a good 3000 words. But I’m off from work today and I kind of want to simply rest and bask in the sunlight of my thoughts of you all and how fortunate I’ve been to meet you.

Thank you all so much. I’m extremely grateful.

I’ll leave you with this…

All the money in the world can’t buy a second of time.

Make today count.

 

See you all at 250,000!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

 

 

Oh… One more thing. “Zoolon Forever.”