Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 11 – The Day Before Tomorrow – Part II

This baby doesn’t know what real darkness is. It has nothing to do with pigment, melanin or skin color. But I do.

“Anyway….No worries. Happy to help. What are we doing today?

“I want to do a spray and a UV session today! What do most people do?”

“Oh, the double dip today! I won’t recognize you tomorrow!”

“I’ll be dark! I wanna be dark!”

This baby doesn’t know what real darkness is. It has nothing to do with pigment, melanin or skin color. But I do.

Customers are coming and going and it’s getting busier. I just love that’s she’s hanging close to me at the counter. I go and clean beds on the in between, and I love walking back up to the front and she’s just there chatting with clients. They love her and compliment her on her gorgeous tan. She’s loving it and saying she’s pale.

Oh, the irony.

Clients ask about what lotion they should buy and she pipes up and recommends the Tahitian Bronze, because I let her try it one day. It’s the most expensive lotion in the house and she’s selling it to these pale ghosts.

“Yea, I used it and it got me really dark.”

These sheep are looking at this really pretty petite Asian girl with skin like delicious caramel and will do whatever the fuck she says. Kita is a natural and I make a mental note about this for the future.

I tell her normally that women go into the spray tanner and then follow it up with a stand up session to give them a little more and bake on the spray solution.

Kita has made it clear to me that she doesn’t like the stand up units because they have no face tanners. (600 watts of UV ‘A’ rays to brown the face and not burn it because the face is harder to tan than the rest of the body.)

We finally settle on Kita going to Room 2 for a lay down UV first and then to the spray tanning booth for a clear coat level 3. She’s afraid she’ll get too dark with the level 3 so at the last-minute she changes it to the level 2. (Probably a good decision but either way I’m sure she’ll look amazing)

“Can I get a robe?”

I love this. She’s going to UV tan in her favorite bed, number 2 and then wrap herself in one of our little blue robes and walk back to number 8 and jump into the Versaspa spray unit. Just the idea of lovely Kita standing before me in nothing but a little robe and completely naked underneath brings my blood to a boil. But I must refrain from any thoughts or feelings. I’m a professional here. I have three great yelp reviews using my name, and I have to keep my composure around clients even if I have a crush on them.

I’ll be fine.

I send her into room 2 and off she goes. I go about taking care of clients, cleaning beds and doing laundry.

In a little bit she comes out in her little robe. It has no belt on it so she clutches it to her lithe body as she shamelessly approaches me. She was all covered up when she arrived tonight but now I can see her shapely, tan legs. The experience is maddening because of the ironic circumstances. My mind flashes to her wrapped in that robe emerging from my bathroom and joining me for a night of passion in my bedroom.

But only for a second.

“I forget what I’m supposed to do in the spray booth, can you give me a refresher, Charles?”

“Of course. Let’s go to room eight.”

Here is this little doll that I absolutely adore and has gone from top five to my number one standing in front of me in a tiny robe. I tell her where to put the repelling lotion and run through the poses she must do while in the booth to get the best spray tan. I remind her about the hair net she has to wear and send her in.

“Do I need to call out to you Charles when I’m ready?”

My mind goes straight to the gutter.

“No. A green light will come on in the unit and when you’re ready you simply press it and then off you go. The lady’s voice will guide you through the four-minute process. Then all you have to do is stay dry for the next six hours and when you wake up tomorrow you’ll be Malibu Barbie.

“Okay! Thank you!”

“No worries, Kita. Just follow her directions and you’ll be fine!”

I walk back towards the front of the salon as she closes the door. I think of how spectacular she must look as she stands naked in that unit as the spray strikes her glistening fit body. I’m envious of the Versaspa in that moment that it gets to see the very thing I will never see. The heater in the machine will glow red and she will submit to the commands of the voice as she turns to display her nude vessel to the spray that will hopefully make her look the way she believes she should.

I think she’s perfect the ways he is, but she loves to tan, and this is a tanning salon. and I would never have met her if I wasn’t here.

I used to always complain early on in my dating journey on this blog that ‘the wallet never came out’ with all of these middle-aged women I tried dating in the beginning. But if this date happens tomorrow I will gladly shell out whatever’s necessary to feed this little flower and make the night special.

Because her youth, beauty, and sweetness are a gift to me. Just the fact that she hangs at the counter like a pup and listens intently to me to learn about life is satisfactory payment to me. The very notion that this 21-year-old girl will meet me for dinner at a nice restaurant is enough for me. I may even try to do a picture but that is a stretch. Her showing up and just being Kita is a win for my ego.

I thought about her. Phicklephilly loved her from afar and then ran her down and got her to hang out and confess to me her life, and now to go out with me on a date is spectacular. Just for the fact that I can dream something and bring it to fruition at my age.

I know it’s insane but if she said, I’m hung up on JR and I’m dating Steve but if you give me X amount I’ll be your sugarbaby… I would possibly buckle and take some money from my brokerage account and split her like a ripe melon.

But please…. settle down. Not happening. She trusts me. I’m honored by the fact that she trusts me enough to have dinner with me.  My black wings her neatly folded away and iI will be the gentleman I truly am.

 

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 8 – Sunday Girl

I like working Sundays. It’s quiet and I can write my blog at the salon. I also get to do a little extra cleaning.

On my way in I stop at MacDonald’s and have a cheap tasty breakfast. I’m early, so when I’m finished eating I head over to Wawa on Broad street to pick up some snacks for later.

The salon closes at 4pm on Sundays so I don’t need to get a sandwich for later because I won’t be hungry until later. I always order the same stuff when I go there. But today I do something  little different.

You’ll find out what that is in a little bit.

Later, I’m working at the salon and it is super dead. I’m typing away on my blog and the occasional client rolls in. Time is slipping by as I write. By the time it’s 2pm I’m wondering if sweet little Kita will come in at all. I shouldn’t be concerned because she loves to tan and hasn’t been in since Thursday.

 

The door opens and she appears. She looks amazing as always. A little black jacket over a turquoise sleeveless top. She’s wearing a tiny pair of black shorts that showcase her shapely slender tan legs. On her feet are a pair of little sandals. Her little toenails are painted white just like the nails on her hands.

Cute!

She’s chatting with me hanging at the side of the counter and I’m in heaven. I can feel the butterflies when she’s around.

It’s a delightful feeling at my age.

She tells me she’s really tired today. She’s been studying so much because she has mid- terms coming up at the end of the week. I tell her I was editing my blog and it was the final chapter of the Annabelle series. (See: Annabelle – 2013 to 2014 – I Can’t Quit You Baby) I thought about her and her on again, off again (Hopefully for good) boyfriend JR.

I read her the following passage about how Annabelle treated me after our breakup:

“After that Annabelle simply “ghosted” me. For those of you reading this that don’t know what that means, it’s when someone in your life simply vanishes. They don’t call or text. It all suddenly stops. Nothing. Just gone. This went on for months. I wasn’t going to contact her.

She did this.

I needed to heal. Adults speak to one another and close the relationship. It’s wrong to put a person on a shelf like they are just some sort of toy, and then think you can take them down and play with them whenever you’re confused or lonely. It’s just shitty behavior. The person you’re doing that to is a human being with feelings. You’re a rotten person if you think that sort of behavior is okay.”

She’s amazed that Annabelle did to me exactly what JR did to her. I had explained this behavior to her the first time she spent an hour here and told me about this loser. But I forgot I had written the same scenario about Annabelle. Some people just suck and squander the good people in their lives because they have no moral compass in regard to right and wrong.

We don’t speak about or ex’s much more and I notice she hasn’t said anything about the guy that instant messengered her on Instagram. He was nice to her unlike shitty JR, but I just don’t feel like bring him up.

She’s here with me today. No other dudes allowed, even in word form.

“I’m about to have a banana. You want one?”

“Sure. Thanks!”

I go into the other room and reach into the bag from Wawa and produce two bananas. I never buy two bananas. But today I was pretty sure babygirl was coming in and I thought she’d like some fresh fruit. She’s a very healthy eater and fit girl.

My little plan worked!

She’s chatting with me and munching her banana and I’m just happy to be able to do something for her. She tells me she has to write a paper tonight that’s due tomorrow. She says she has to write six pages about a hotel and a cruise line. It’s for her Hospitality Management course.

We talk about that and I give her some ideas. She says she just feels so tired. I hope she’s not getting sick.  She said her throat has been a little sore in the morning. But then it fades away. It could be just her dorm room. I’ll have to ask her if she has any roommates.

I think since she just moved up here from Florida she’s a little lonely. Many of the women around her are all in sororities and like to party. Kita doesn’t drink and isn’t in any activities at school. She tells me she is very focused on her studies and schoolwork. Typical Asian. I say good for her.

I mention to her that I sent her a calendar invite for our date tomorrow at the restaurant. She says she never got it as she checks her phone. I tell her it’s okay, because we’ve already discussed the details but I like to stay organized. (But in my heart I need her to accept the date on her calendar, That’s just me. That’s the written commitment I need from Kita.) She says she never got it as she looks into her emails in her phone. I read her the email address I have for her and she says it’s wrong. She corrects me and I go on the house compter and sign onto my google. I resend it to her with the correct address.

“Got it!. Do I just hit yes?”

“Do it.”

She does and I check my email and tell her it’s locked in now because I just got a,”Kita accepted your invitation.”

This pleases me to know that our dinner date is locked down.

It looks like this is really happening. What started out as a fantasy about a pretty girl is now a full-fledged meeting at a nice restaurant where baby will be munching pan seared salmon like a champ with ME.

I even let her read another funny entry in the blog. It’s about all the stuff that annoys us the salon. Normally I would never let anyone read anything before it’s published. But Kita loves tanning and think she’ll get a kick out of the piece. (See: Sun Stories – Haley – 2016 to Present – Rules and Lists) Check it out. It’s hilarious!

Little does Kita know that I’ve already written five chapters about her and what’s happening today with her in the salon will be chapter six!

I send her into room two for her tanning session. That’s not the best bed in the house but she feels like it gets her darker. If that’s what she wants and it’s fine with me.

When she finishes, we talk a bit more. I give her a free bottle of water to pour into her water bottle that she carries around. She thanks me and says she’s off to the gym. I tell her to not workout to hard. I wish her good luck on her paper she has to write and to try not to stress about it. The best thing to do when you have to write something is not to talk about it or dawdle.

Just start writing.

“When do you work again?”

“Tuesday, three to eight.”

“Cool. I’ll come in Tuesday.”

We part ways and off she goes down the steps.

Of course a bunch of people came into tan in the last thirty minutes before closing. People really can’t manage their lives.

I’m glad I’m not like that.

I finally get the last person out of there around 4:30. I don’t mind. I’m just going to stop at the liquor store and pick up some wine and go home and chill.

Later, I’m walking home and I get a text. I figure it’s my daughter or Johnny R. of my buddy Church. But it’s none of the above.

It’s Kita.

“Charles help. I miss JR so much right now. (sad emoji) So tempted to text him but I shouldn’t right?”

I love this.

I love that when Kita has a matter of the heart she reaches out to me. That’s power. I need to guide my little kitten accordingly. Apparently Kita is without a female support system to help deal with this.

I literally set down my bags and stop to get right back to her. I need to head this off right now.

“No. You’re just really tired and that’s weakening your will power. Resist the urge. Go do something else to take your mind off him.”

“I’m trying. Just hard.”

“I know. But you will go through periods of this. It will pass. Be strong. Think of the way he was treating you and the words he said to you that were cruel and how he lied to you. Those aren’t the traits you want in a mate long-term. You’ve grown and matured. He has not.”

“Then why do I want him still? Like I wish he was still my boyfriend. I feel like I’ll never move on from him!! (Sad faced emoji)

“I know you will move on. I was the same with my ex. She was a selfish loser but I still missed her even though we were no longer right for each other. If you go back to him it’ll just be more of the same and worse because he’ll know he really has power over you. Don’t do it. You’ll hurt for a while but I promise you it gets better.”

And it ends there.

We’ve all gone through this feeling. It’s can be such a roller coaster of emotions after a breakup. I wish I could just magically take away her pain, but that would be wrong. We all must go through the sadness and pain of loss. It’s part of growing up and just living in this world.

I hope she comes in on Tuesday. And fingers crossed for Wednesday dinner with her.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Sabrina – Good Morning

Sweet, lovely Sabrina text me this morning. It was a simple, “Good Morning.”

“Hi Sabrina!”

“Did I wake you? I need some positivity this morning.”

“No. What’s up, dear?”

“Just stressed about my job. The boss is never happy. I’m stressed about my ex. He’s pushing me to do things before I want to do them. I just feel like shit.”

“Can you meet for lunch today?”

Yes, I’m sure I can. What time and where?”

I had to work at the salon later, so I suggested noon at Locust Rendezvous. But she wanted to do a little later and not a bar that looks like a tavern. More of a lunch spot. (I should have realized this, based on her past with addiction and recovery.) I just wanted the $5 burger they have there. I secede and suggest Rachael’s at 12:30. She likes that idea much better. Racheal’s is my weekend breakfast spot. I love the food and the prices.

I get there and she appears shortly thereafter. She looks lovely as ever. We go up to the counter and order then return to our table. The place is quiet and this is the first time we’ve ever met outside of the salon. Technically our first date if that’s what this is.

Am I attracted to Sabrina? Of course. Do I care that she’s used heroin for 7 years and has been clean 8 months? No. I want her to be well and live a happy sober life. Do I care that she lived in a halfway house with Jill because she had to be sent there? Nope. She’s a nice lady that had a shitty marriage and got addicted to drugs. But she’s clean now and I like being around her. If I get bored or annoyed with her I’ll cool it. I’ve written about all of the crazy women that I used to hang out with and date in this forum. I only surround myself with good people now. I’ve cut off all of those people and I’m much happier and more calm for it. Jill, Kaja and Sabrina are all nice women that just made some bad choices, but I believe it’s never too late to change for the better. When I was with the crazies they were still in crazy mode. These good women have come out on the other side and hopefully for good.

At this point in my life I like spending time with people who are calm and nice. No more drama. I’ve had enough for two lifetimes. So many of the people who now live in the past and out of my head are just shitty people. I blame their lifestyle choices and their parents. I also love to work and my alone time, so I dig a lunch or a happy hour but beyond that…see ya!

Sabrina and I have a wonderful lunch. We’re chatting for the first time outside of the salon and we can really get to know each other. She’s telling me about her life and what’s been happening, but I don’t need all the details. We just glide across the surface. Marriage, divorce, kids, work. Just first date stuff for people who have ‘seen some things.’ Normally you should never talk about any of your ex’s on a first date, but I discover that she’s still married to her husband. I don’t care. They’re separated so they can date if that’s what they’ve agreed. Not my concern. She’s living in the house and he’s moved out. She’s gotten out of the halfway house because I’m assuming she did her time and stayed clean. Her husband is a contractor and she was a stay at home mom for 12 years. Oh, she has two kids. They live with Dad and she gets to see them on Saturdays. From what she’s told me he sounds like he’s being a dick, slacking on the house payments and utilities, and saying he doesn’t have any money. But Sabrina has access to all of the accounts. He’s not good at any of that, so she still has all the passwords. She can see that he’s spending hundreds of dollars out at the bars. So it’s all a pretty typical divorce mess.

In the State of Pennsylvania, if she stayed home for all of her twenties (She’s 32) The court will have to take that into account. He was the sole breadwinner while she had to forgo her career to raise the kids so dad is going to have to pay her alimony. So that’s good for her. He’ll also have to cash her out on the house, and divide up the assets. So it would really benefit her to begin divorce proceedings.

Recently the company she works for have cut the hours of some of the staff. Because some of their outdoor bars and beer gardens have closed for the season. This and her husband are really stressing her out. I’m afraid if she gets really stressed she could use again and then she’s back in a drug fueled world of shit.

“What are you looking to do?”

“I was thinking I could maybe get a job as a server.”

She knows that I have the hook up with a lot of the bars and restaurants around the city. She also knows that I’ve helped people get jobs. So she asks for my help.

“What are you doing tomorrow, Sabrina?”

“What are you thinking?” She smiles.

“I get my business cards for all of the bars and restaurants in the city. We get lunch at Misconduct. Then we go through the cards and I reach out to places we think are appropriate for you to work as a server.”

“I love Misconduct! I’ve only been there once! Yes! If you could do that and help me that would be wonderful!”

“I’ll do what I can.”

“Thank you!”

The sandwiches they served us were enormous. Delicious and fresh, but gigantic. I guess the average person that goes there and orders a sandwich wants to stuff their head with a king sized wad of meat. I want a sandwich like the ones my mom used to make. Something that has reasonable portions and I can get my mouth around to bite it. Not rip into a pile of meat like a jackal. I see that she could only eat half of her hot Rueben and I’m in the same situation with my roast beef. There is a half a sandwich left and it’s as big as one sandwich. I grab us a couple of to-go shells and we put our sandwiches in them and head out.

We walk east on Sansom and we’re chatting and come upon a homeless woman lying on a piece of cardboard on the sidewalk.

I bend down. “Would you like this fresh sandwich? It’s really good.”

The poor woman turns on her side and starts opening the container. “Thank you.”

We continue walking down the street.

“You’re my kind of guy.”

“That’s a woman lying in the street. I had to do it.”

“I could cry. I can feel my heart.”

We agree again on tomorrow and I tell her to take a deep breath and just know it will all work out. She hugs me and thanks me for everything.

I watch as she walks north on 18th street and admired her beauty. Wow. First date. She reached out to me and made it happen. Got to know each other and good energy flowed. Second date is tomorrow and maybe I can help her find a part-time job. Fed a homeless person and impressed her.

Sometimes all it takes to get the ball rolling are the words:

“Good Morning.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 6 – Oh My God – Part 2

I direct her to her free time interests. Food is always an easy one. All people like to eat. Kita says she loves all kids of food but hates mushrooms. Me too. She says she likes the smell of pickles but can’t eat them. I tell her I love the smell but hate them equally unless they are sliced incredibly thin and buried under a delicious juicy burger.

Kita says he like cucumbers, I don’t answer. I like them but they always repeat on me because I am a carnivore through and through. My beloved daughter Lorelei is a hardcore vegan but my generation wants to kill stuff and eat steak.

“What food do you love?”

“Seared salmon and green beans. But I can’t get that because I’m a poor student at Drexel.”

“Last night I was at this great Italian restaurant, Gran Caffe L’Aquila. I have the hookup with the bartender and the owner. I was there with my buddy Church and I had three chardonnay’s and he had a gelato cup and a coffee and our bill was only $13.

“Oh my god that is amazing. I live on  ramen noodles.”

“Do you want to get a gig cause I could hook you up.”

“My parents put me on an allowance and don’t want me to get a job so I can focus on my studies.”

At this point my dear readers I’m setting the snare but it’s not like that. It’s a future phicklephilly fail but I will grace the time I get to spend time with this delicious baby, because I am about to close.

I ve been in sales my entire life. But I’ve never been predatory. I’ve never been closing the deal. I’m more about opening a relationship with a client. I’ve always been that way with a girl.

“What kind of food do you like Kita?”

“I love salmon and green beans. I miss that. My mom makes me so much good food!”

“Sounds simple and amazing!. I want to tell you a place I went to last night.”

“Where? I never go anywhere.”

“Gran Caffe L’Aqilla.”

“My man Church and I went there last night. I had three Chardonnay and my buddy had amazing two scoop gelato and coffee… $13.

“Oh my God.”

“I get the hookup and I know where to go.”

“I wish.”

I pull up their menu on the salon’s computer.

“Check the out. Pan seared salmon with vegetables, All you want Kita.”

“Oh that looks amazing!”

When I was young and in a band, the girls just rolled to me. That was easy an after all of my torture in middle school I figured I deserved that. But I have three sisters and I grew up with women and grew to understand them. (That and you can never get in the bathroom)

Why am I having ideas about Kita?  She’s really sweet and apparently likes to hang at the salon. I am embracing classic phicklephilly love for her. This child. She’s so beautiful and fits into a fantasy caricature of things that turn me on. She doesn’t know that but I’m at an age were I’m just honored to be seen in public with such and exquisite gem. But when I think of anther other outcome this encounter if it actually happens I would just be happy to sit across the table from Kita and lay some incredible gelato on her.

“Lets go there and get you some salmon.”

“Yes.”

“Really? I can get the hookup and a flight of gelato that you’ll love.”

“Let’s do that.”

“What does your Wednesday look like?”

“I have classes until noon but free after that.”

I think I’m going in for the close as usual. Born sales guy.

Baby seal on the rocks jumps in the water to cool off from current life stress , Great white shark devours seal.

“So lunch or dinner”

“Dinner works for me.”

“Around 5pm?”

“I’ll make the reservation, send you a calendar invite and text you the day before to confirm.”

‘Yes. Let’s do it.”

I confirm her cell and tell her I’ll send her my contact info. (Now we’re connected) I’ll send her and email invite after I make the reservation and I’ll confirm the day before so she can bullshit bail on me with some lame excuse.

I don’t really care. If she bails I’ll be doing wine and noodles at Dan Dan with my  friend Francesca and loving life.

But I will feel the loss of Kita. (Praying she’s lonely and has nothing going on and needs guidance through her lost relationship with JR. (Worth dinner with this lovely baby)

We chit-chat some more but baby has to go study. I am feeling the trembling excitement of the opportunity to share a meal with this exquisite beauty that has become my number 1 in a space of weeks.

I have a girlfriend that will rock my world this weekend, but I only get to see her probably once a month. I adore her and she is an incredible match.

But I’m still going to do this stuff because I can’t get off the drug of lust, beauty and sex.

I just hope to god she doesn’t mention our little dinner to new guy. Because if she does, you know that young insecure little cunt is going to put the kabosh on my dinner with princess of the restaurant. That could happen, and it will only mean that Kita is easily controlled by inferior loser dudes.

I just want to look across the table at her and learn more about who she is.

I pray this will happen because I am so taken by her, but only time will tell.

We’ll see.

 

Just so you know what I’m so enamoured of her I’ll give you this….

How can phicklephilly resist?

(Kita – Now)

That’s why I’m losing my shit…

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 5 – Oh My God – Part 1

Kita rolled into the salon today just like she said she would. She chit chats with me for a bit before tanning.

“How are you feeling about everything with your ex?”

“I’m okay, but I just wish I could move forward and not still hurting.”

“You’re hurting because he was your first love and you were together for over 3 years. But spend some quality time with your new guy and the pain won’t be as bad. You’ll be having fun and not thinking of JR.”

“I know but it still hurts.”

“It’s supposed to… that means you care,  you have a good heart and are a good person.”

“Sometimes at night when I’m alone, I feel sad.”

“That’s going to happen. That’s part of healing. It takes time.”

“I know. But I want to be there now and don’t want to have to go through this part.”

“Everybody goes through this part, Kita.”

“I just don’t want it to be there but it is.”

“We’ll work on this. We’ll keep talking about it.”

“Okay. ”

“What do you like to do when you’re not studying or tanning?”

“I like to study and eat right and work out.”

“What’s your drink of choice?” (Cause I love to drink)

“I have Asian glow.”

“What’s that?” (smiles)

“I can’t really drink. I have one or two and I’m gone.” (I’m actually glad to learn this and that Kita isn’t the unusual college booze hound.)

“My friends are all in fraternities and there’s obviously lots of planning and parties and I’m not about that.”

I love that too. A transplant that hasn’t fallen into the destructive part of college..

“Do you have a part-time job?”

“My parents don’t want me to get a job because they want me to focus on my studies.”

I love this girl. Beauty, intelligence, studious and isolation.

We’re chatting and customers are coming in. I don’t know what the hell is going on because we are actually busy. Apparently a lot of people get married in October.

She tells me people say she looks like Karrueche Tran.  We google her and she does, but Kita is way cuter. Besides Karrueche is Vietnamese and Filipino. Kita’s Chinese.

I keep thinking when each interruption occurs she’ll find a way to bail, but Kita doesn’t. She steps away and plays with her phone and continues to hang. I love that. Doesn’t she have anywhere to be? Maybe not. Estranged boyfriend. New guy making his moves through instagram. But Kita’s still feeling the sadness and pull we all have. The remorse, loss, and betrayal from this boy.

She doesn’t have a job, she’s not in a sorority and has just arrived in Philly from Florida. She may have just met me at the bus station in Hollywood in 1982. But I’m not that guy anymore. Right?

She’s just letting customers go and she’s hanging at the counter and I’m loving every minute of it. I’m actually feeling anxiety and shaking a bit I’m so excited by Kita’s presence. That is some classic phicklephilly infatuation.

I’m going to do what I do and the shark fin will cut through the water.

I love Cherie. I do. She’s amazing. Marriage material but please find me and kill me if I ever even start to talk about anything like that. But Cherie only gets down here maybe once a month. I love that because at this point in my life I like to be alone and once a month is like an Olympic sex event but is always unforgettable.

You saw how much I celebrated going to the movies with Cherie when she was having her period. I want that. But she’s so busy with her Masters, and Children’s Hospital and her son, etc. and me with all of my businesses, there is limited time.

When Cherie and I are together it is God come to earth and I adore her and our times together. I love being with my love and it’s so peaceful and easy I would build a life with a lady like this. Cherie is a dedicated, loyal wonderful, sexual dynamo that I absolutely love unconditionally. But there are variables and compartmentalization  that needs to happen.

Cherie who is rarely around and has earned over 40 chapters of love. Endless love letters to her legacy but she is simply absent because of her career and education. She’s one of the greatest women I have ever met and I want to keep her, but I am what I am.

I want to sit quietly at a table with her a have dinner. I want to stroll through an art show with her. I want to go on vacation with her. I want to giggle over drinks with her, but our schedules will simply not allow it.

I meet Kita and she’s just a sweet girl who wants for some reason to be Florida Dark in the tanning department. I work at a salon. I can make that happen.

She loves to be tan. She told me tonight that she googled salons before she left Florida so she could continue her tanning journey. (You’ve seen the pics… she is absolutely smoking hot. Bronze goddess. Malibu Barbie)

I think because of her Navy brat life a being adopted she has had some challenges. she has another sister who is adopted as well,  but there has been something that the child must feel or wonder about.

It’s October and there is no reason it’s this goddamn busy at the salon tonight but then I realize there are a lot of weddings in October. It’s cool and crisp and I will make your bride darker than the dress.

There is no reason for this delicious beauty to want to hang at the counter and chat with this middle-aged great white shark.

This baby seal is in a shitload of danger but to be honest, the shark is just happy to have her near him tonight.

Just like the hour we spent last Sunday.

What am i getting myself in to?  What are my feelings here?

(Kita – High School)

Lovely Legs….

 

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Cherie – Chapter 50 – …Than to Receive – Part 3

Baby fell asleep after our fiery session. I’m a giver. I’ve always been since I was nineteen in LA.

NO. I’ve always been a giver and a pleaser since I was a kid. when you grow up feeling like a loser and an inferior shit… you always give. You are a twisted pile of insensitive parenting and you are your own weakness.

You’ll always please and give to everybody you know when you’re broken as a person. I’ve always been that person. The pleaser. The giver. Obsessed with giving.

I remember when my father would say to me “Don’t be a victim.” The crazy irony is that his very behavior in how he treated me made me into the victim I have been my entire life. He gave me great lessons and taught me so much about life and I’m grateful for that. But his rage and behavior towards me over the years destroyed any self-esteem I could have ever cultivated to be the leader I could have been.

He would be pissed at my mom for her sexless stoic attitude and I would fail at school and he would rip me a new one instead of her. But I was just the fuse. The powder keg was him and she was the bomb.

He was the torch and she was the can of gas. They were a complete mismatch. The most terrifying moments in my life were at my father’s hands and words. He knew he could destroy a person with his tongue.

He took shameful pride in it.

His own mother. My Grammie. I loved her. She was an orphan that was given up because the family was too poor to keep her (More later) she once described her son… my father… as,  “The cow that gives the milk and then kicks the bucket over.”

I’m a middle-aged hyper-sexual. I’m like no one you know. Unless you’re best buds with David Duchovney. The needle on my sex drive has been cranked way back, but the demon still lives in there, but he’s cool.

I used to say that I was at war with my demons. But now we’re all on the same side.

Anxiety? Settle the fuck down. Depression? Oh, for fuck’s sake go out and do something!

How bad is my life?

Daughter Lorelei lives with me, I love her dearly and she’s turned out right. I’m writing these words and lovely Cherie’s is turning in my bed naked and beautiful while I take a break from the action to write this.

I love to see her sleep. I know her life is hard and I admire her mettle to go forth and succeed at 27. I also admire her love for me at my age. When she comes to my place in Rittenhouse  she can completely hide from the world. No work. No school. No kids. Just love, warmth romance and lots of mad sex.

Tomorrow we’re going to sleep in and have a delicious breakfast of whatever baby wants.

We’ll probably hit Midtown Diner because that’s where we started.

She’ll vanish on a train again and I’ll go back to work, errands and friends.

I need to maintain my relationship with Cherie. Because despite our differences and distance, I look at Cherie and see one word.

WIFE.

Okay, I know that seems scary and Lorelei would lose her shit but this lady seems that good.

Only time will tell…

 

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Cherie – Chapter 48 – Better to Give… Part 1

I’m in Awe…

Baby is determined to try to get down here this weekend. I think she’s shooting for Friday night when I finish at the salon. She says she has to go back around 11am or noon on Saturday, which is choice. Because that gives me time with her Friday night into Saturday for some greatest hits. I like this, because once she goes I’m off for the rest of the day from everything.

My daughter tells me we need paper towels for the kitchen. I’m a little curious about this because my vegan daughter Lorelei now owns my kitchen and uses all of the paper towels. I never touch a single one. But as a child who is nearly twenty-one she thinks all household stuff is paid for by parents.

I love her and I’m fine with it. I’m happy she’s my daughter.

I go to Walgreen’s and pick up two rolls of paper towels, a can of Axe body spray, (Phoenix. You’re welcome Axe or… I’m sorry Axe) A bag of kettle corn, (Cravings lately. Unexplained. Just love that stuff. It’ll pass.) condoms and a pack of cigs.

As I approach the counter I hope the cashier doesn’t put some sort of story together based on my purchases today…

Oh, this guy needs Axe body spray to attract a mate, and then he’s buying condoms in the hope he closes, and then he’s buying cigarettes to smoke after the sex. 

Or… He will eat the entire bag of kettle corn watching Netflix alone tonight when he fails miserably at the bar, using the paper towels to mop up his tears.

 

I’m at the salon on Friday and it’s quiet. A welcome repose from Thursday. It was busy yesterday night. I loved it. We made money, some of my favorite people stopped in, and the night flew by.

Cherie is on the train and on her way down to the city for the night. I lock up at 8pm and settle the drawer. She’s never been to the new salon. She texts me to ask whether she should come to me or head to my house.

I give her the address and tell her to come to the salon. I lock the doors and turn off the lights in the hallway. I hit the flashlight feature on my phone and head down the steps. The door downstairs opens and it’s Cherie!

She’s already off the train and here! I come down and give her a hug and a kiss. I’m so happy to see her. She looks great as always. Dark locks and sexy lips and hips. I’ve missed her. I’ve been thinking about her a lot this week.

Once I knew she confirmed for Friday night my hunger for her grew.

If you’ve been reading this blog you already know that I’ve accepted the fact that we can’t always be together. That’s just the way it is now. Cherie’s in school, working at the hospital, and taking care of her son. Just a full schedule.

But somehow love survives and thrives between us. A playful sweet love that has been built on a rich history over the last year. Our one year anniversary just happened two weeks ago. You would think that would be a time for great celebration and jewelry.

But she was in class and then at CHOP (Children’ Hospital) doing blood work for sick kids, and I was in meetings with an app company about selling their products in this market.

Cherie had to grow up fast in her twenties. Once you have a kid, that changes you if you’re made from anything good. Cherie is. She said to me tonight her son’s father doesn’t spend enough time with him and the support is light. I told her that I thought her ex had a good job and made decent money. She said he has five kids from two different ex-wives so he’s basically broke all the time.

“He’s white, right?”

(Laughs) “Yea. But my son is last on the list when it comes to support or time.”

“I’m sorry. But I’ve been divorced. Support is based on how many overnights he has with the child and how much income he earns. You can go to court and make him pay. It’s just a math equation.”

“You forget that we never married over the time we were together. There’s nothing in place for me to enforce it. I’m basically a single mother.”

By this point I’m lying next to her on my bed. We’re just talking before anything happens here. Her beautiful dark, almond eyes glisten with tears.

But no tears fall. She looks at me calmly describing her plight. She only blinks between statements.

My girlfriend is resolute.

“If my son’s father is going to fail and continue to fail as a father to his son with me, then I have to be the best mother I can to him.” She breathes deeply, never taking her eyes from mine. I see in her a strength I don’t know in anyone else I know. She means what she says and there’s no other choice for her. Cherie knows that because she’s lived in a world where she can count on no one but herself.

Her mom, dad and sister are great, but at the end of the day she knows she’s really the only one in her son’s life. This has been the painful and triumphant journey of many black women through history.

She’s beside me, her head supported by her hand on her side. I am lying on my back looking up to her. I realize in that moment, I truly am looking up to her.

She’s calm, and her words are sure. I love her. I love her so much in this moment. Looking upon her sheer will to survive.

I’m in awe.

 

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