What You’re Taught vs. What You Want

I have worked in financial services for 20 years and advertising for 10. I’ve been very successful due to my skill in sales. But I’m done with the rat race and corporate America. It’s all a big lie.

We all do it to buy houses and get wives and kids and the American dream and it’s all a fat lie. But everybody’s buying it and they can’t invest fast enough or stay in it as long as they can as debtors because that’s what they’ve been sold and taught, and it’s all a lie.

You’re father told you to never to be a liar but that’s what you’re all living.

Imagine how you’re spending your life. In your apartment, Watching football with your bro’s or reading your comic books or whatever, and a lovely lady would come over maybe once a week and fuck you and love you. You are her one and only, and then when you’re done with dinner and sex and whatever else, she goes away until you summon her again for the same loving experience?

Perfect right?

You can’t. That’s for young men. You must marry, and get a house. mortgage and have kids. That’s what you’ve been sold so hard that you have lost yourself. You don’t know what you want anymore because your afraid your dream will fade. Your stupid legacy. Your shitty bloodline will end because of some shit your parents told you.

Lies.

All men want a lovely girl to make love to and have a cool life with,  but think about it…it’s bullshit.

The marriage is a fortune. We hate that we have to spend two months salary on a ring. What huge diamond conglomerate set that number? Everything in this country is about making money.

It’s sad.

Hey, spend a thousand dollars on a dress that you’re only going to wear once! It’s a giant party that costs a fortune. All the planning and everything. It’s awful. I’ve done it and will never do it again. She twirls around in a white dress for one night in front of her family and friends, and the guy is not allowed to ever have sex with anyone else again.

I think it would be better if you just get married at the court-house, if you absolutely feel that you need to be legally bound to another person. It would be nice if everybody would just send money and that would be it.

Most people just settle anyway. They’ve run out of options or are simply tired of looking. Most women start panicking around 27 years of age and start getting serious about finding some shlub to help them pay down their revolving debt they cranked up in their 20’s buying handbags, booze, shoes, and vacations.  They get a roof over their head and then start cranking out babies.

That’s it. Replicated a million times all over the world.

Thousands of dollars for the mortgage, the cars, and the kids!

Kids are an absolute fortune. Let’s have children so we will both have to work very hard for a very long time. What’s the point? There’s too many people in the world already. Then you have to get a bigger house in the suburbs where they have better schools.

They will push and struggle to make a bunch of money for a lifestyle that is absolute bullshit. It’s boring! What guy would want to work that hard and that long? Deal with a wife and kids everyday? It’s really not something I think most men realize they are getting into.

It’s almost never the guy’s idea to get married. The first set up is usually the best. You have your place, she has hers, sometimes you’re together and sometimes you’re alone. Perfect set up. That’s the set up I currently enjoy.

But what happens? Biological clock starts ticking.

“What are we doing? Where is this going?”

When you start to hear that shit, either run, or just surrender fellas.

Game over.

But it’s not all women’s fault. Some guys are just too insecure to be alone. They want that one chick that they can have sex with because they’re either not good at hunting, or have simply lost the will, or don’t have the fatal charm to go out and date.

I bet if you did a survey, and you could get the men to be honest, most would agree they would like to sit on the porch or go to a game, drink beer with their bro’s and get the occasional sex that’s consistent, and then just be left alone.

How cool would it be if Cinderella turned into a pizza and a six pack at midnight after she fucked your brains out for two hours and got off the property?

It’s sad. I hate seeing a bunch of broken down losers working their fucking asses off and getting pulled into jobs that mean nothing so they can support their lifestyles they built and they never really wanted any of that.

It’s all a lie.

We all want a simple uncluttered life, and we all end up miserable debtors.

Most people don’t have the courage to be alone.

To be in a room by yourself and take a deep breath and say:

Maybe marriage isn’t for me.

Somebody has to say this stuff, so it might as well be me.

Have a great week!

 

 

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Lisa – Cuts Like A Knife

“I miss all of our time together. We should hang out soon.”

This was a few years back, but it just popped back into my mind.

One night I was at a bar with a group of friends. We were hanging out like usual, when this woman walks in. My friend jumps up and says, “Oh! Hey! Lisa! Holy shit, I haven’t seen you in years!”

She comes over, and she and my friend catch up, then she joins us at our table. Throughout the night, I couldn’t keep my mind off of how she had these incredible blue eyes. It turns out, I noticed them so much because she kept them on me all night. This girl is cool as hell. I’m really enjoying just talking to her, and there’s some light flirting. As our group thins out, we switch to a smaller table. She sits next to me. As the other two people leave, it’s just us.

Then it’s the end of the night. This never works for me, but I thought, what the hell? I invite her back to my place. She says that’d be great. Long story short, we get to my place, and we waste no time hooking up. I tell her she can crash at my place if she wants. She says she’ll take a cab back to get her car, but she leaves me her number and says, “This needs to happen again. Soon.”

Okay, this works for me! I’m a single dude, and I don’t have any irons in the fire. This situation winds up repeating itself 2-3 times a month for about 4 months. One of us hits the other up, we wind up at my place, we hook up, she heads out and wishes me a good night.

Finally, one night, we’re laying there after it’s all said and done, and she says, “This is nice. I really like this.” Then, she snuggles into me.

So I think to myself: She’s super cool. I could totally see us being something more than just hooking up a few times a month. So I ask what she means by “this”. She waves her hand in a circle. She says, “This, all of this, you.” Then, she curls into me even more. I say, “Well, this could become more if you want it to.” She says that sounds nice, and falls asleep on me.

Morning comes. She’s up and showering. She says she’s got to be somewhere early. She gives me a kiss, and she heads out.

 

I quit hearing from her.

 

She doesn’t respond to my texts. Her Facebook profile goes dark. I don’t know if she’s ghosting on me, or what. Did I scare her off? Did she change her mind? I mean, I didn’t bring up things getting more serious until she seemed like she wanted that.

After about a month or two of not hearing from her, I write her off, and I get on with my life. I wasn’t too torn up by her not being around after my friend tells me that she’s done this before in the past with other guys.

Fast forward 2 years. I get a text from a number I don’t recognize.

It’s Lisa. She’s asking how I’m doing. She’s asking if I’m seeing anybody. As it happened, I wasn’t. Then she says:

“I miss all of our time together. We should hang out soon.”

I respond with a resounding yes. After all, she was really cool. But, I decide to myself that I’m going to come into the whole thing expecting her to ghost again, so I’m just going to take things at face value, nothing more. She offers to swing by in a couple of days.

A couple of days later, she shows up. Instead of hanging out on the couch, we hang out in my dining room and kitchen while having a few drinks. After about an hour of that, she says she needs to go get some stuff from her car. I’m a bit confused, but I’m like… okay, whatever you’ve gotta do.

I see her pull a duffel bag out of her trunk. I think… Wow, did she pack an overnight bag or something? Guess it’s on tonight!

She takes the bag and sets it on the dining room table. It makes a clinking noise like she’s just set down a bag of silverware. She says, “There’s something I want to show you.”

She unzips the bag, and the first thing I see is a cardboard box with the word CUTCO on it.

…You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

A friend of mine nearly sold CUTCO knives years ago, before she realized it was such a scummy company to work for. I politely sit there while she goes through the whole pitch: watch the knife cut a beer can, a piece of thick rope. Watch the scissors cut a penny. Then she asks if I’d be interested in buying any.

I tell her, truthfully, that I just bought a new knife set. She has the nerve to ask if I could return that set and use the money to buy a CUTCO set. I tell her I’m happy with my knife set. Then I make up some story about forgetting that I was supposed to go to a buddy’s rock show that night, and I needed to get ready.

She packed up her stuff, gave me a hug, and said she’d text me later. I never got another text from her.

Fast forward to about 4-5 months ago, I see she’s married and has a kid. Good for her, I guess. But, I still think it was pretty sketchy of her to bring up our past history of hooking up to use that as a way to slide in and sell me some cutlery.

Man, did she have some crazy blue eyes, though.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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40 Cute and Funny Questions to Ask a Guy

There are a wide array of questions you can ask a guy you’re interested in. Asking these questions will not only give you a gateway to his mind. They also serve as a way to open him up to you. Some are strategic methods to open his heart. Remember asking questions can not only work as ice breaker, but they can also get the guy more involved into the conversation.

10 Funny Questions to Ask a Guy

To ease any guy into opening up to you, it’s good to make him laugh. He will begin to relax and become friendly towards you. These questions are designed to make his easy going side shine through. He’ll probably be surprised that you’re asking some of them but will appreciate the gesture. You’ll boost his mood most likely and he’ll associate good feelings with you. Playful and engaging questions make for a memorable experience for the both of you.

1: What moment sticks out for you as your most embarrassing experience ever?

2: What is your quirky pet peeve?

3: Are you of the naughty or nice variety?

4: What celebrity do you have a secret crush on?

5: What would be the one meal you could eat every single day and never get bored?

6: Have you ever been caught in your birthday suit accidentally?

7: What is the most hilarious childhood memory you can think of?

8: Sexiest animal on the planet?

9: Can you remember the funniest thing you ever did or said?

10: If you were a server, would you spit in a customer’s food for being rude to you or someone else you work with?

10 Questions Guys want you to Ask

These questions are things that a guy can relate to. They are thought-provoking and make him conjure up ideas that perhaps he hadn’t previously asked himself. He’ll feel a sense of excitement as he ponders the questions you ask. You show him your playful side and give off the vibe that you have an idea on how a guy thinks. Maybe you don’t but he’ll know you care about what he cares about which is a huge bonus to him. Some of the questions will throw your potential guy for a loop and he’ll appreciate your spontaneity and flirty nature. You’re busting into his intellect when you ask questions like these. It shows your smart side.

1: If you had to choose an athlete to practice with, who would it be?

2: Are you able to go to the Victoria’s Secret website and choose two pieces of lingerie you’d love to see on a woman like me?

While this question may seem risky, you’ll get a lot out of his answers. For example, if he chooses something in red then he wants to see your wild side. If he chooses ultra-sexy lingerie, it’s a key sign that he is attracted to you. This also opens him up to romance with you.

3: What would you say to your President if you ran into him randomly?

4: If you won a trip to go anywhere on earth, where would you take me?

5: Can you think of a movie title that best explains your life currently?

6: Who is your best friend and how long have you known him/her

7: Who would you have lunch with if you could choose anyone whether living or not?

8: What is your current goal at the moment?

9: What do you feel is the world’s biggest problem right now?

10: What is your favorite thing to wear to bed?

10 Ways to Really Get to Know Him

These questions allow you to analyze how your guy feels about himself, his ideas and views of the world. It’s hard to get someone to open up, especially men but with these questions you can get an indication of who they are. For example, the first question is about what they would choose as their super power. If they say they’d like to stop time, this indicates that they might feel unprepared often. If they say they want to be invisible, he has often had times in life where he’s been mentally attacked. You can figure out what his dreams are without asking that specific question. These are still questions to warm him up.

1: What would your preferred super power be?

2: If money was no object, where would you live?

3: Smart or happy? What is more important to you?

: Would you rather ask permission with the risk of someone saying no or beg forgiveness later?

5: Are there things you are superstitious about?

6: What do you think people would say about you? Nicest things? Worst things?

7: What do you feel are your weaknesses?

8: What are you earliest memories?

9: Name the coolest place you went with your parents and what you did?

10: What was your worst job and why?

10 Romantic Questions to Up the Ante

Now that you’ve warmed him up with the previous questions, you can start asking him about romance if it feels right. They are not direct questions about the romance between you and him. They are more indirect and allow him to contemplate where he sees things going with you. You may be bridging the relationship gap with these powerful love buzz questions. You also get inside his head to find out if he’s really the right guy for you.

1: How old were you when you had your first kiss and what was it like?

2: Do you lead your life with your heart or your head?

3: Have you ever experienced a major heartbreak in a romantic relationship? Details?

4: What do you feel is the sexiest part about yourself? Physical and mentally?

5: What would you say is your idea of romance?

6: What part of the female body are you most attracted to?

7: Do you prefer candlelit dinners at home or a fancy restaurant setting?

8: What is your ideal romantic night?

9: What are you thoughts about Valentine’s Day?

10: Which would you be? Guy who sends a bouquet from the flower shop or handpicked wild flowers you deliver yourself?

 

Thanks. I hope this was helpful. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this piece. I had fun with one for a change!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Is Your Partner Lying? Use These CIA Tricks to Find Out

1.Look for nasal engorgement and itching

When a person lies, specific tissues in the nose usually engorge, says Dr. Alan Hirsch of The Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. This nasal engorgement, which Hirsch calls the “Pinocchio Sign,” causes cells to release histamine, which in turn causes the nose to itch.

2.Notice negation and aversion cues

Look for negation cues, such as covering or blocking the mouth and covering or rubbing the eyes, nose or ears, and aversion clues, such as turning the head or body away when making a crucial statement.

3.Beware of religious rhetoric

Religious phrases like “I swear on my mother’s grave,” or “as God is my witness” are ironic red flags.

4.Call out the denial phrases

Denial phrases including “trust me,” “honestly,” and “to be perfectly honest” are evasive. Evasion is about trying to change a perception, and these phrases repeated over and over again are typical clues to lying.

So what can you do when you decide to confront the lie?

Phil Houston, a former Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) officer and CEO of QVerity, offers suggestions in his recently published book Get the Truth: Former CIA Officers Teach You How to Persuade Anyone to Tell All.

1.Make a transition statement

“First, let them know that the lie isn’t working,” says Houston. “For example, we might say, “Honey, listen, I’ve got to tell you. I’ve got some problems with what you were saying about our credit card statement.” Deliver it in a low-key manner without making it adversarial to help keep them calm.”

2.Stop them from talking

Behaviorists explain to us that, every time you verbalize the lie, you become more psychologically entrenched in it. So step two is to start talking and give them reasons to tell you what’s really going on.

3.Lower their defenses

Rationalize or minimize the problem so the risks of telling the truth seem smaller. “Hey, listen,” we might say. “Everybody has trouble with their credit card statements.” We can do it by monologuing as well, which means we are basically trying to tell the person lying they can still win.

4.Switch to a presumptive question

After we lower their defenses, we should switch to a presumptive question, like, “What did you really do with the credit card?”

From hearing “The dog ate my homework,” to “I don’t know where all of these new shoes came from,” we are regularly fielding little white lies and half-truths. The allure of lying as a way to avoid consequence spans all age groups. We now know the best way to protect yourself from those who feel the need to lie is to confront the deception and address the situation in an open and honest approach.

This is a great opportunity to teach children the downfall of deceit and illustrate how one lie often needs to another. The short-term distress of telling the truth is always better than the long-term anxiety of hiding the truth.

The same is true with adults. When caught in a lie, this is the time to make it clear you will always be truthful with them on the condition they treat you with the same respect. If they cannot be truthful, the relationship is finished.

And if you still run into people who think lying is OK, that is the time to bring in the CIA.

 

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13 Definite Signs She’s A Wife Material And You Should Keep Her

I used to say that there is nothing like wife material.

But then in this life we are all in a certain group where we have been categorized. We have been put into different categories because of our characteristics and that is how we choose our friends and even fall in love with our partners. It is these categories that help us know who is who and this is also where wife materials come in. These are women not girls, women that are fit to take care of a family and understand that being a woman who is able to love and take care of her future husband is not bad but precious and important.

1. She knows how to cook.

It may not seem important but food is important and good food is everything. A lady who can’t cook is not someone who can be able to set high standards even for a house help. She should be innovative with her food because you can’t always eat out.

 

2. She’s independent and ambitious.

She knows what she wants and she goes for it.

 

3. She doesn’t live in bars and clubs.

Yes, she may go out once in a while but this is not the center of her life. She is determined to use her time wisely in things like reading or investing in other hobbies.

 

4. She knows how to dress for every occasion.

She knows that she cannot dress skimpy in front of your family and she knows how to dress sexily for you as well.

 

5. She gets along with both your family and friends.

Because those are the people she will need to get along with for the rest of your lives. She may not like them but she is wise enough to be cordial with them for the sake of peace in your relationship.

 

6. She actually cares about how you spend your money.

She doesn’t urge you to buy the most expensive shoes or clothes. She encourages you to spend wisely and even has tips on how to do so.

 

7. She tries to help you overcome your imperfections.

She understands that you’re an imperfect human being and that she may not fix you but she encourages you to do better.

 

8. She is thankful and appreciative.

Instead of complaining all the time, she appreciates you when you deserve it and she does not let her ego get in the way of loving you.

 

9. She doesn’t tolerate nonsense but she is not a drama queen.

She can call you out and she is not a pushover. She is the kind of person who will tell you when you’re wrong and is not afraid to air our her opinions, you also know she will eventually walk away if you take her for granted.

 

10. She is responsible with her finances.

She pays her bills and plans ahead of time. This is the kind of woman who will probably have a savings account for a rainy day.

 

11. You have similar interests.

You both like similar things and she also accepts the differences. For example if you’re watching football she doesn’t try to make you hate it she finds something else to do at that time.

 

12. You have been together for a while and you want to marry her.

You actually know that she fits your standards.

 

13. She is your ride or die.

You know she will be there through the thick and thin.

Thanks. I hope this was helpful. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this piece.

 

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10 Scientific Facts About Love

#2 is totally me!

 

http://www.thelawofattraction.com/scientific-facts-love/

 

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Brad Pitt’s Powerful Marriage Advice Will Melt Your Heart

Brad Pitt’s Powerful Marriage Advice Will Melt Your Heart

Speaking from the height of his experience, Brad Pitt offers you several powerful tips on how to build a strong marriage, and always keep the flame of love and passion alive. Sadly, his marriage ended. After 11 years of happy (or we only thought so) life with Angelina Jolie, something went wrong. What exactly? Now you can find out and don’t make the same mistakes!

Here are 18 tips from a man who has been married and knows what he is talking about.

“Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. I would have done differently… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 11 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had:

1.Never stop taking care of your wife.

Never take her presence in your life for granted. You have received the heart of your wife as a gift from life. This is the most valuable treasure that someone could entrust to you. Take care of your wife’s heart. It caresses her love. Do not be lazy when it comes to showing your feelings to your beloved.

2.Protect your own heart.

Love yourself too, accept life as it is. Leave a place in the heart where nobody can access except your wife. Let that intimate corner belong to her alone.

3.Fall in love with your wife again and again.

Inevitably both of you will change eventually. You will not be the same ones who fell in love ten years ago. Hence, you will have to fall in love again with each other.

She has no obligation to stay with you forever. If you ignore her, she will give her heart to someone else. You will lose it forever. Look at it as if it were your first date!

4.Focus on her best qualities.

Do not concentrate on her flaws. Pay more attention to her virtues, so that your love does not fade away. Remember: you are a happy man if you have a wife like her.

5.Do not try to change her!

Love her for what she is. Even if she changes, try to love her new personality, whether you like it or not.

6.Take responsibility…

…for the state of mind in which you find yourself. Being happy is not just her job. You must also make an effort to make sure that you are full of happiness, joy, and love.\

7.Never accuse your wife if…

You are angry or upset with her. They are YOUR emotions and YOUR responsibility. You chose this woman because you have to go through certain life lessons with her and solve scenarios that will help you heal.

8.Just stay with her.

When you are sad or upset, your task is to SUPPORT her, to let her know that everything is alright, that you listen to her, that you are a shoulder that she can always lean on.

The soul of a woman is a storehouse of emotions that are modified by the slightest blow of the wind. Stay unwavering and strong, do not judge her, and do not try to solve her problem, just stay close. Then she will trust you and open her soul…

9.Do not be so serious or hard.

Laugh more often, not just to other people’s jokes, but to yourself as well. Make her laugh as laughter can facilitate the solving of any kind of problem.

Study the personality of your woman: ask her to make a list of the 10 THINGS that make her feel loved. Remember these things and consult this list in your daily life. The crucial thing is to let her feel like a queen.

10.Give her enough attention.

When you are with her, do not think about anything else. Treat her as your client, your passenger, and your most valuable friend.

11.Do not be an idiot.

You will make many mistakes. It is important that you both learn and not repeat them in the future. Of course, you’re not a perfect man, just try not to disappoint her so often.

12.She must have her own space.

A woman gives everything without resting in relationships, marriage, and children. So she needs time and a little personal space to regain her strength. After a good rest and time alone with herself, she will return with even more energy and inspiration.

13.Be open about your vulnerability…

Prepare to share your fears and feelings with your wife, learn to admit your own mistakes.

14.Always be honest with her!

If you want to earn your wife’s trust, be ready to share EVERYTHING with her… Especially that which you have been hiding for a long time. It takes a lot of courage to fully open your heart to your loved one and let her look in the most hidden places.

Show this courage and she will love you even more for it. Take off that mask, otherwise, you will never experience love completely.

15.Grow with your wife!

Under a still stone, the water does not flow. Your muscles atrophy if you do not use them. The same goes for relationships if you do not work on them. Find your goals and get close to them with your beloved.

16.Do not worry too much about money.

Money comes and goes. Remember: you play on the same team. They do not have to face each other. To win, combine your strength and do not compete for the final prize.

17.Do not keep resentments inside of you.

Do not let the past influence your future. Do not be a hostage of resentment and past mistakes. Do not carry this burden with yourself. It will not let you advance, it can only block you from maturing. Also, do not hold any negative feelings, always choose love before anything else.

18.Always choose love!

After all, this is the only advice you really have to learn. Nothing will threaten your happiness if you adhere to this principle.

Marriage is not a happy ending, but the beginning of hard work. Marriage is life itself, with all its ups and downs. Every day you need to fall in love again, keep building your relationship, brick by brick.

Do you have anything to add to this list? Do you share Brad Pitt’s opinion on marriage?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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