‘JIBING’ Is The New Dating Trend That Will Make Your Next Hook-Up Infidelity Less Awkward

We’d all love to charm each other with minimal awkwardness. Unfortunately, much like smoke and fire, embarrassment is the inevitable flipside to excitement (you are – literally – putting yourself out there, after all).

This in mind there is a smooth new dating trend you need to try (or at least know about) if you want to eek the most out of your 21st-century existence: ‘jibing.’

However, to understand ‘jibing’ you must first understand ‘flatzoning’ – the evil stepbrother of ‘friendzoning.’ What’s that, you ask? As one of our D’Marge employees (who was recently ‘flatzoned’) anonymously admits, it is “the phenomenon of being homeless but f**kable.”

Before you (rightly) crucify us for such glib usage of the word “homeless,” we don’t mean literally living rough, we mean living somewhere you’d rather not be (think: your parents’ basement) but being denied when you apply to live somewhere else on the basis of your attractiveness.

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Instead of finding a flat, you find a friend with benefits, who doesn’t want to live with you because they think it could be awkward to live with someone they might like to date. Hence the term: ‘flatzoning,’ which, when you think about it, is the exact opposite to ‘friendzoning.’

Anyway, this leads into a broader trend of ‘jibing,’ which is the term given to people finding love on apps which are not meant for dating (think Flatmates, Gumtree, Facebook Marketplace, etc.).

To get the down-low on this phenomenon, we spoke to Dr Nikki Goldstein, a sexologist, relationship expert and host of the podcast Sex & Life, who recently had a friend engage in a little ‘jibing’ action herself.

“I have this friend where she was selling furniture on Gumtree and [this guy] rocked up to the door to buy something from her.”

“With these things,” Nikki continues, “the benefit is you already have their number so it takes the awkwardness away from asking for someone’s details.” So even though you might not know this person, you tend to have a smoother interaction with them than you would with a standard Tinder date.

“I think it happens… a lot. These apps and websites that are not meant for meeting people, but you meet people.”

So, how exactly does ‘jibing’ go down? According to Nikki, this is a classic ‘jibing’ scenario: “You don’t know who the person is but then they come to pick up that thing (or check the room) and there’s a connection.”

“The easy part about this is that it’s easier to text them and say, ‘Hey let’s get a drink sometime.’ The harder thing is when you see someone in person these days, think there’s a connection, and then have to ask for their number.”

But back to Nikki’s friend: not only is ‘jibing’ often easier than meeting people in a club or bar, but it can also be more natural than Tinder: “When he rocked up he wasn’t putting on some kind of front – there was no expectation of a date – so in that setting even though you might feel nervous because you like the person, it’s safe to say you’re probably not putting on a mask.”

“On a tinder date, on the other hand, you might not be yourself (and) you might not be chatty because you’ve been thinking about this date for the last few hours.”

When ‘jibing,’ however, “You are in more of a natural state,” Nikki says, “Which is why I think it will work better [than] one of these dates where you’re sitting across from someone with pressure but no inspiration for a conversation.”

To the contrary, when ‘jibing’ you can base your conversation around the room, people, furniture or whatever trade you might be doing, which relieves the pressure: “Say you’re going for a tour of their apartment or spare room, you might be having a conversation about how much it’s going to cost, or the books on the coffee table, their likes and interests,” Nikki says, “and have that banter without the pressure of, ‘What am I going to say next.’”

The last question to consider is this: is now more socially acceptable to meet your partner on Facebook Marketplace than on Tinder or Bumble? Nikki doesn’t necessarily agree, telling us these chance meetings have always happened throughout history, and they now continue to happen, albeit in a different way, facilitated by technology.

And, according to Nikki, this is actually quite an important topic for dating experts to delve into, as many people “are either really struggling with their social skills because they are on their phone all day, or they have blinkers on when it comes to dating in the real world.”

The takeaway? We would say happy swiping but in light of recent developments: happy ‘jibing.’

 

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Don’t Get Married Until You Know These 5 Things About Your Partner

“Don’t tie the knot until you know these important things.”

Maybe you’re months into a new relationship or have been together for years.

Whatever the case, and wherever you are in your journey, there are some important questions to ask yourself and your partner if you see yourselves being together long-term.

Are you planning to get married? If so, what are your reasons for getting married? What are your partner’s reasons?

Are you ready for a life of unwavering commitment? And do you have the skills and desire to push through the inevitably tough moments alongside all the joyous ones?

To answer those questions, you really need to know yourself and your partner inside and out.

Phicklephilly spoke with several relationship experts — including matchmaker Patti Stanger, clinical psychologist Dr. Dara Bushman, and psychotherapist Jason Eric Ross — and put together a list of crucial things to know about your partner before getting engaged and married.

It isn’t an exhaustive list, but consider it a guidebook as you enter a new chapter in your lives (or at least think about entering it in the future).

1. Whether they want children or not — and how many

“If you aren’t on the same page [about kids], you will likely break up due to this as this is a definite deal-breaker,” Millionaire Matchmaker’s Stanger said.

“This sometimes gets shoved under the rug as people don’t ask the right questions, then are shocked to find out their partners don’t have the same position as them.”

“If you’ve already had this discussion, make sure you also know how many children your partner wants and what their ideal timeline looks like,” she added.

“Sometimes you figure these things out along the way, but having consistent and open conversations is key.”

2. Their full financial situation — and how they approach money

“The number one cause of divorce is financially not agreeing on how money is handled,” Stanger noted.

“Whether they have good credit or not could block any home purchase. [Also], who pays for what? Don’t assume if you’re marrying a wealthy person [that] they will pay for it all.”

Ross, a psychotherapist based in NYC and Florida, agreed with this one: “You want to know if your potential partner uses reasonable judgment, and you definitely want to know if they have any debt you may take on. Someone who is fiscally responsible will bring less baggage to the relationship, and thus there will be less arguing.”

3. How they get along with others — including loved ones, exes, and strangers

The way someone treats other people speaks volumes.

Whether it’s being kind (or rude) to waitstaff or speaking positively/negatively about close friends or family members, pay attention.

“Family of origin may be the most important factor to consider,” Ross said.

“How someone interacts with family is something you will likely have play out in your relationship unless they’re really mindful/have had counseling to keep this from being an issue. Understanding the family dynamics will give you a sense of how much, if any, drama you should expect.”

Even the way your partner interacts with or speaks about an ex can be very telling.

“Are they compassionate? Hateful? This is often overlooked, but truly important,” Ross added. “If someone speaks well of an ex, there are better odds they will treat you with compassion. It’s one way to gauge emotional well-being and emotional intelligence.”

4. How your partner likes to be touched

This may sound silly, but intimacy is the primary difference between a romantic relationship and a platonic one.

Sex, snuggling, kissing, and general “touching” really matters.

“You can’t fully bond if you’re not in physical contact,” psychologist Bushman said. “Before marriage, implement . . . holding hands for 20 seconds. Go to bed touching feet. Kiss for four seconds a day. Spell out ‘kiss’ with your lips touching. Hug your partner. Make a commitment to touch in some capacity every day.”

Relationships go through Winters and Summers with all things, including physical intimacy.

It’s ok if libido ebbs and flows over the years, but being highly comfortable with each other physically is very important to lifelong bonding and happiness.

5. What they’re like in crisis-mode

Everyone deals with tough spots, whether it’s a major family issue, career-related upset, or health scare. What you need to know is how they work through a crisis.

Stanger says it’s not ideal if they avoid the problem, throw their hands up, or run in the other direction.

This demonstrates an inability — or an unwillingness — to deal with their own emotions and to problem-solve.

Perfection isn’t necessary here. Nobody is perfect. It’s that drive to remain positive and find resolve that matters most.

One sign that your partner can work through a crisis is if they’re open to therapy.

“Being willing to undergo counseling, to me, is a sign of maturity and willingness,” Ross said. “I do believe people who seek therapy end up having better insight, which tends to lead to healthier relationships.”

Another good barometer is to see what they’re like during the holidays or while traveling, which can both be pretty stressful events.

Again, nobody is perfect — and you shouldn’t expect flawless superhero problem-solving — but how your partner handles difficult situations before marriage is how they’ll likely handle them after.

Make sure you’re ok with their approach.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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5 Things You Need to Think About Before Breaking up With Your Partner

Breaking up is difficult, no matter what.

Are you wondering how to break up with someone you’ve been with for a while now? Do you want to end your relationship without any regret or heartbreak?

Are you mostly sure that the person you are with is not the person for you? Are you desperately trying to figure out whether you are doing the right thing?

Breaking up with someone you love (but may no longer be in love with) is difficult for everyone involved. You need to be fully aware that if you don’t do this right, you could leave the other person devastated and heartbroken.

Ending a relationship without regret is fully possible. In an ideal world, every relationship would end without regrets and with your head held high.

Here are 5 things to remember when you want to break up with someone and end your relationship with no regret.

1. Make sure that you give it your best shot

When you want to end a relationship without regret, it’s very important to make sure that you do everything in your power to make it work.

Many people walk away from relationships without really doing honest work. They leave because their guy doesn’t understand their feelings or their girl won’t let them go out with the guys on the weekends.

In the words of Arianna Grande, “Thank you, next.”

But, what if there is a hidden gem under that surface issue that you don’t see because you just up and walk away from a relationship? What if your guy doesn’t understand your feelings but he loves you madly and would love to figure out how to do it but he needs you to show him?

My boyfriend once said to me, in the face of my sadness, “I don’t know what to do!!!” And he didn’t. He had a better idea once I showed him.

So, make sure you aren’t breaking up with someone because of some surface sentiment. Do the work, dig deep, talk to your person about the things that are frustrating you and see if you can fix them so you can continue moving forward together.

Wouldn’t you hate to see your person with someone else, being the person that you wanted them to be but never asked?

2. Do it for the right reasons

Make sure, when you are thinking about how to end a relationship without regret, that you are doing it for the right reasons. If you are ending your relationship because there is someone else, don’t. The grass isn’t always greener, no matter how amazing it looks right now.

If you are ending your relationship because your friends or family tell you that you should, don’t. This is your relationship and you need to figure out if this is the person for you.

If you are ending your relationship because your person doesn’t make enough money or isn’t hot enough or listens to weird music, don’t. Just because someone doesn’t fit society’s ideal of the perfect person, that doesn’t mean they might not be the perfect person for you.

Make sure that you are ending your relationship for the right reasons, that you have given it thought and know that this person is not the right person for you. If you don’t, you might always regret it!

3. Don’t be a ghost

If you want to end a relationship and feel good about it, don’t disappear.

Ghosting seems to be the thing these days — men and women disappearing without a word to their partner. Whether it be because they are scared to face someone or they are too lazy to deal or they are just too busy, people just vanish, never to be heard from again.

And, while this might feel good at the moment, I can promise you that someday, you will regret it.

You will regret treating someone with so little respect, knowing that you have hurt them deeply and that you could have done things differently.

Once you ghost someone, you can’t take it back. You will always be the person who did that.

So, if you are considering ghosting your person, don’t. I can promise you that you will regret it — big time — someday.

4. Allow them to speak their piece

When you are breaking up with someone it is important for them to be able to have a conversation with you about your decision to end the relationship.

People like to process breakups and whether the relationship ending abruptly or died a slow death, it is important that each of you get the opportunity to talk about it with the other.

I am not saying that it needs to be hashed out over and over and over but giving each other the chance to say what needs to be said is a very important piece of ending a relationship without regret.

5. Do unto others

If you are still wondering how to end a relationship without regret, here is the gold standard for doing so.

The very best way to end a relationship without regret is by treating your person the way you would want to be treated.

That is not to say that if you aren’t the kind of person who doesn’t want to process a breakup verbally, you don’t let your partner do that. I am sure that, if the shoe was on the other foot, you would want to be treated with kindness and respect. You wouldn’t want your person to disappear or talk about you behind your back. You would like to speak your piece and move on.

So, think carefully about how you would feel if someone was breaking up with you and how you would want to be treated in the process.

Thinking about how to end a relationship without regret ahead of time is an excellent way to ensure that your relationship ends well.

Having regret about the end of a relationship is something that you will have to live with forever. And I can promise you, from first-hand experience, you don’t want that and the broken heart that comes with it.

So, make sure that you don’t give up too quickly, that you don’t disappear, that you are doing it for the right reasons and that you allow them to say what they need to say.

If you do these things, you will be able to move forward with a clear conscience and find the love of your life.

Good luck! You can do it!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. She works with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world. 

 

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Cherie – Chapter 53 – Why I’ll Never Marry a Black Man

“Black women and white men aren’t the only diverse duo out there, but it’s something to chat about if you’ve ever been in that type of relationship.”

Aside from the historical separation of black people and white people, there are a few barriers you should get out of the way in the present.

Words from Cherie herself.

I’m never going to marry a black man…

Why would I want to? Why would I commit myself to a lifetime of disappointment and misery? I don’t need a man to ruin my life; I can do that on my own without his help and with much less drama.

I’ve made up my mind to marry a white man because life is too short for you to live it hoping that you’ll find that one in a hundred black men who will be true to his word and won’t turn out to be a deadbeat.

White men are simple. They don’t have mothers from hell who expect you to visit their house so you can cook, clean, kneel and kiss their feet. They have boundaries and understand that marriage means a man leaves his father and mother and becomes one with his wife. Black mothers think marriage means a woman leaves her mother and father and becomes drafted into the family as an indentured slave.

White men are liberated. They don’t feel threatened by their woman earning more or having aspirations. A white man will have dinner ready for you when you come home late from work. He will have the children bathed and put to bed without being asked.
White men are faithful. You can trust that if he’s out late with his friends he’s not going to end the night having acquired a small house. You know that when he dies there won’t be any kids coming out of the woodwork making claims on his estate. White culture values monogamy, whereas black culture puts a premium on how many notches he has on the bed post.

White men value family and financial security. They invest in trust funds and leave an inheritance for their children. And oh the children! The caramel skin, the pretty brown eyes and the big, curly hair… I want gorgeous children! Have you seen those beautiful interracial family photos? I deserve that in my life.

It’s not that I hate black men. It’s that after more than two decades of being in relationships with black men, I’ve gone through enough grief for a lifetime. I want to be happy and for me that means not committing the rest of my life to a black man.

For a long time that’s how I felt about black men and that’s how many young black women feel today. We’ve seen our mothers cry over the hurt of discovering yet another affair and have witnessed them covering up the bruises in makeup. We’ve watched our sisters going down the same path, like history repeating itself. We have borne the wounds ourselves and are left with scars as reminders.

It’s hard to argue with experience when all a person has known is one side of the story. Hurt speaks way louder than platitudes like, ‘There are good black men out there. God has one for you.’ That’s not helpful. What is helpful is looking deeper and exploring why some black women feel like white men are the only viable life partners.

 

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Tales of Rock – Former Rolling Stone, Bill Wyman says he was ’stupid to ever think’ marriage to teen bride would work

Rock star Bill Wyman (52) of The Rolling Stones pop group, kisses his new bride, the former Mandy Smith (19) outside St. John’s church, London, England on June 5, 1989. The couple were married in secret on June 2 at a civil service and the second ceremony was to bless the marriage in church. (AP Photo/David Caulkin) (David Caulkin/AP)

At the time, wild horses couldn’t drag him away — but now former Rolling Stone Bill Wyman admits regret over marrying Mandy Smith in 1989 when she was just 18 and he was 52.

In the controversial documentary “The Quiet One,” which premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival Thursday night, Wyman, now 82, says he was “stupid to ever think it could possibly work.”

The film, which makes use of the meticulously kept photos, film footage and memorabilia from the rocker’s personal archives, was pulled from England’s Sheffield Doc/Fest next month because of his scandalous relationship with Smith. The pair met when she was 13 and he was 47 in the mid-80s. And though Smith was of legal age when they married, following their divorce a few years later, she claimed they first had sex when she was just 14.

Rock star Bill Wyman (52) of The Rolling Stones pop group, kisses his new bride, the former Mandy Smith (19) outside St. John’s church, London, England on June 5, 1989. The couple were married in secret on June 2 at a civil service and the second ceremony was to bless the marriage in church. (AP Photo/David Caulkin) (D. Caulkin)

Wyman and Smith split in 1991 just two years after their marriage, and then finalized their divorce two years later.

In “The Quiet One,” Wyman defends the relationship, saying, “It was from the heart. It wasn’t lust, which people were seeing it as.”

But he also admits, “I was really stupid to ever think it could possibly work. She was too young. I felt she had to go out and see life for a bit.”

In 2013, following other prominent sex scandals in England, Wyman said that he offered to be interviewed by authorities about his relationship with Smith. “I went to the police and I went to the public prosecutor and said, ‘Do you want to talk to me? Do you want to meet up with me, or anything like that?’ And I got a message back, ‘No.’”

Wyman, a founding member of the Rolling Stones, played bass guitar for the legendary rock band from 1962 until 1993.

“The Quiet One,” written and directed by British filmmaker Oliver Murray, features plenty of footage and photos from his years with the Stones. But it also touches on his family life growing up in working-class London, including the tension he had with his father who pulled him out of school to work for a bookie to help support the family.

Wyman also expresses the love he had for his grandmother, who he lived with on and off as an adolescent, and was the only family member who showed him affection, he says.

In the film, the bass player addresses his womanizing in the early days of the Stones’ success and admits that was partially to blame for the split from his first wife, Diane, who he was married to between 1959 and 1969. He and Diane had a son Stephen, who Wyman won custody of when he felt that his ex wasn’t properly taking care of him, he says.

Wyman married his third and current wife Suzanne Accosta in 1993 and they share three daughters.

Jerry Hall, the former longtime romantic partner of Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger, was in the audience at the film’s premiere, along with her husband, media mogul Rupert Murdoch. Also in the house at the SVA Theatre in Chelsea were Wyman’s wife, Suzanne Accosta, and their youngest daughter, Matilda.

 

 

The Beach House – Chapter 21 – Conclusion

“It went too far. She thought I was going to fire her.” I was pleading my case to deaf ears.

“Ahh, Monica, I’m so sorry it came to this. ” Mia wrapped Monica in her arms. Monica was still in shock, and I don’t think she even recognized Mia.

“I was about to tell her when you walked in…” I didn’t want Mia upset with me on our wedding day.

“Well you should have told her sooner.” She started rubbing Monica’s back. “You probably had her in tears all day.” She sat Monica on a nearby chair and looked back at the smiling Wally. “Wally, grab some water and a towel or something.” He left, chuckling. Monica’s mouth was still standing open. “Well, tell her, Dale. I won’t have any tears at our wedding.” Monica’s mouth opened wider. Mia’s hands were on her hips, waiting for me to comply. I softened my voice as I dropped to one knee in front of Monica.

“You remember Mia Perez, Monica.” I smiled trying to make sure she understood I had no ill will. “We kind of hit it off during the detox.” I grabbed one of Mia’s hands off her hip. “We’re getting married today, and I needed you here as a witness.” Monica mouth was still wide open, looking between Mia face and mine. I gently took hold of Monica’s hand. “Are you alright?” I heard Bob re-enter the chapel.

“You’ve known her for a week.” Monica looked back to me. “You don’t like anybody.” I laughed and patted her hand.

“I assure you, I love this woman more than life itself” I smiled at Mia who dropped her other hand off her hip and smiled back.

“I didn’t even know you could smile.” Monica was still in shock. Bob exchanged the water and towel for Mia’s bouquet. Mia sat down next to Monica.

“Your mascara is a bit askew.” Mia dipped the end of the towel in the water and began wiping the worst of it off her face.

“Making me take care of Mia was the best thing you could done for me.” I stood back up. “I needed her as much as she needed me.”

“I never met the Dale you know.” Mia kept cleaning Monica’s face as she talked. “I fell in love with a very tender man with a strange SpaghettiOs fixation.” Monica laughed at that. Leave it to Mia to move us past the tears. Wally leaned down near Monica.

“These two share a very compatible type of insanity.” He chuckled again.

“You see, Monica, I have no intention of firing you. You are my second favorite woman on this whole planet.” I smiled at her, figuring that should settle it. I saw tears welling up in her eyes. She jumped up and wrapped her arms around me and started bawling. I looked at Mia for help, and she was crying too. I looked at Wally.

“I knew this would be an insane wedding.” Wally started chuckling again. I was beginning to think he was a bit on the insane side.

Once the girls had fixed their makeup, the wedding went off without a hitch. Mia surprised me with a little poetic vow about me pulling her from a pit of darkness into “my heart full of light.” I had to think fast, and I could see in her eyes that this was payback for a handful of paint.

“Mia, before you entered my life, I thought love was only a word for poets.” I smiled into her eyes. “I now know poets are just souls who ache for what I have through you. You are my ocean, my waves. You are my SpaghettiOs.” I heard a whimper from Monica and I saw the water in Mia’s eyes. Wally was holding back another chuckle.

Mia and I took our witnesses out to dinner after the wedding to celebrate. We spent the entire dinner laughing and telling Monica all that had happened over the last week. We were into our fourth bottle wine when Mia decided to give her gift to Monica.

“Dale told me why you made him take care of me.” Mia was glowing. “I felt bad that my thoughtless husband would do such a thing.” I interrupted.

“Hey, I didn’t know you then!” Mia smacked me lightly in the shoulder.

“A tenth anniversary only comes around once. It deserves to be recognized.” Mia looked at me like I might forget some future event. “We wanted to buy you a second honeymoon to make amends.” Mia smiled handing an envelope over to Monica.

Monica opened the envelope with wide eyes. “Oh my God!” she said as she looked at the three-week cruise to the islands and South America.

“And everything is planned.” Mia was all jumpy. “I wanted to make sure you didn’t have to think about a thing, just like when you take care of Dale.” Mia was really proud of herself. “Dale cleared the time with Charlie’s boss, and I’ll make sure Dale doesn’t try and call during the trip.” Monica started tearing up again.

“Oh my gosh, guys! This is amazing!” Monica was wiping the tears from her eyes. Mia hugged her and started crying too. You would have thought we were poking them with burning sticks.

I was excited, because I saw the dessert tray heading our way. I slipped the pastry chef a hundred to make something special for me. The waiter went around, delivering the desert, leaving Wally for last. I was getting antsy. The waiter smiled at me and reached under the tray and pulled out a small top-hat-shaped cake. It was perfect. He placed it in front of Wally, who for once looked very confused.

“I don’t think this is what I ordered.” He looked up at the waiter who just smiled and nodded at me.

“I quote: ‘If you two are friends at the end if this I’ll eat my hat.’ ” My timing was perfect. Mia burst out laughing which infected all of us. To his credit, Wally ate the entire thing. I think he liked being the center of attention even if it was a joke at his expense.

Over coffee, Monica was whispering to Mia. Monica reached into her purse and removed what looked like an old envelope that had seen better days. Monica looked at me. “I made a promise a few years back that earlier today, I thought I would have to break.” Her eyes were getting watery. “I think I was planning to throw this at you Dale.” She was indicating the envelope, half smiling and half crying. Women were becoming confusing again. “Now, I get to keep that promise.” She handed the envelope to Mia, then wiped some tears from her eyes.

Mia seemed a little confused herself. The envelope didn’t have any markings and seemed to contain more than just paper. She broke the seal and looked inside, and I saw her eyes tear up. I tried to see what was inside as she pulled out a single folded piece of paper. Mia opened it and began to cry which was echoed by Monica. They hugged each other.

I reached over and looked into the envelope. My eyes began to water as I looked at my Grandma’s butterfly brooch. Mia handed me the letter and hugged me as I read:

To whomever has found my Dale’s heart,

Please take care of it. It is very precious to me.

Love Eleanor.

 

THE END

 

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Phicklephilly – Hang On Saint Christopher

“This has been the best therapy that I never had to pay for.”

I’ve been writing phicklephilly for over two and a half years now and there’s no end in sight. The phicklephilly book is finished and so is the Sun Stories book for Amazon. Now I’m working on the TV series. Why not? Sex in the City from a gentleman’s perspective.

Once I got through writing about all of the crazy dates I’ve been on since returning to Philadelphia from New York, and my relationships, I turned inward. I’ve been in a relationship with this lovely girl who I adore, but you can’t write a dating blog if you’re in a committed relationship. It just won’t work. So I started to write about my life and my past in general. I didn’t want the blog to lose its voice, and I certainly didn’t see this relationship coming. It’s been wonderful, and I love Cherie very much. She has an amazing, loving, calming effect on me. She’s a sweet, down to Earth girl who is also smart, and a sexual animal in the bedroom. What man wouldn’t want that?

She’s also not around all of the time, so there isn’t that “I have to put my time in, or I have to go do a bunch of things that I don’t want to do.” She is literally the greatest hits album in a relationship.

When I walk down the street with her I actually get a feeling that I’d love to have her as my wife. Because she’d be amazing at that. I can’t describe why, because I’ve had zero success with committed relationships and marriage but I feel it with her. First time in 30 years. Cherie would be a good wife. I swear it feels like that when I’m walking out in public. “Yea, this is my wife Cherie.”

I felt this like a week ago before she went to Japan. She’s just so chill and sweet and knows me.  When we’re together, it’s just like a great song. Whether it’s just doing nothing, watching a movie, mad sex, or eating together. It’s just so easy.

Isn’t that what life should be? I don’t know, because it’s never worked for me. But I’m older now. Maybe I’ve finally pulled my mind together. We’ve both been through all of our shit and we could actually settle down and be together and it could be a peaceful happy relationship. I have no idea what that looks like but this could be it.

But don’t worry. I’m not doing anything rash. That has always resulted in disaster. Every relationship I’ve ever been in has burned to the ground. Stay friends or whatever, it’s over.

I need my alone time. That’s paramount. But I have that with her. But if we got married, we’d have to obviously have to consider cohabitation. She has a wild little son. I don’t want that. I could handle him and help him, but I’m over kids. I’ve already raised Lorelei and she’s mint. I can’t go again.

When we’re together its golden but she’s extremely busy getting her education and working and I’m holding it together at the salon and building a business. I can’t risk that.

I’m finally out of the rat race and I’ve never been so happy. I’m working my butt off but for me now. My real talent is finally being realized. This is a moment at the precipice of greatness.

I’m just going to have to be the best person I can be to her because she loves me so much, and I love her and want to keep her. There are just a lot of moving parts to this life right now.

I’m not worried. I just need to be attentive to her and she has really been great with making time to see me. Our time lately has been wonderful. I’m very pleased at how things are going right now.

But why did I have the affair with Ambria if everything is so good now? I don’t know. I’ve always been loyal to all of my girls. I’m just a romantic gentleman. I know what’s right and what’s wrong. My father taught me that. But he was a cheater but admired that I wasn’t like him.

He made me but I’m not him.

But what if I am and I just haven’t had the opportunities that he’s had? What if I really am him?

 

I’m so busy now I don’t have much of a social life but when I do its compressed and intense because of what’s happening with the business. I’m no longer posting to or looking at stuff on social media because I don’t want people knowing what I’m doing and I no longer care about everyone’s life on Facebook, filled with food, babies, and events and vacations.

I just live my life now.

I’m happier than I’ve ever been and I don’t care what anyone else is doing and no longer care to let anyone in the world know what I’m up to.

With good reason.

I love Cherie. At my age I’m blessed to have her. A hot, beautiful 27-year-old babe that loves sex and lives to please me. Then why am I doing what I’m doing? Ambria? That’s just season 4 on Phicklephilly someday on Netflix.

Sometimes I think that writing this blog has finally released everything in me and I’ve found the perfect forum to do it. But what if phicklephilly is actually driving me to offend? What if because I have this forum now, I’m doing things and pushing the envelope to create better content?

Art imitating life, imitating art?

I think that’s what’s happening. I need content. I want to tell my stories and I love writing about my childhood. It feels wonderful to finally release all of my experiences and feelings onto the page. I love all of my followers and they have been amazing and supportive. This has been the best therapy that I never had to pay for.

I can get it all out and finally dump the freight car of baggage and stories I’ve been carrying around in my head for decades.

Can you even comprehend what that feeling is like? Once I write it and post it, I’m clear. I’ve worked it out and told the story. I publish and it’s out of me. It’s been a nightmare holding all of this in.

Now it’s all out there. Everything will eventually be out there to free myself of this burden in my hand.

When I started this blog I wrote about waitresses, crazy girls, and shitty dates I attempted to go on. Then I started to write about my relationships. That’s when the blog started to sing for me. But it was hard. Because those love affairs were over. So I had to romanticized dead relationships and dredge up all of those memories. Good and bad.

Then the rebounds and even more crazy.

Then I meet a great girl. Seems impossible I can go again with a girl this young but it works. But then when we’re in a rough patch of distance I willfully have an affair.

Something must have been missing, or do I just suddenly have the power and the availability?

This is all new ground for me and I don’t know why I even did it. I’m a decent, loyal man and I love my girlfriend very much. I don’t want to lose her and I don’t think I will. If you’ve been reading this blog you’ll know that we’re rock solid as ever and our relationship is glorious.

She’s over on the other side of the world with her family. I hope they’re all laughing and eating and happy together.

I’m not sorry for Ambria, but it happened.

I’ve worked 20 days in row at the salon non-stop to hold it together because it’s what’s needed. We’ve burned through 4 employees in a month and we have to get this gym open by Labor Day. I’ve got money tied up in this business. It needs to be successful and I won’t rest until it is.

I fit my friends in when I can and I’m making it work, but the grind is getting to me. But I’ll see it through for the business. The results could make us all wealthy.

My life is beautiful. Everything is moving forward. I’ve never been happier. I should have learned my lesson. I want things to work between me and lovely Cherie, who seems to be the perfect girl for me.

Everything’s great right?

Why do I keep saying how much I love Cherie and how happy I am over and over?

Am I trying to convince all of you?

Or Me?

 

 

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