10 Ways To Stop Worrying About Money And Attract More Of It

It can feel unnatural to relax when you have bills pending and a dwindling bank account. But giving in to your fears won’t do anything to attract more money. In reality, giving in to your anxiety will generate negative energy that stops you from bringing more money into your life.

How to Stop Worrying and Attract More Money

Money comes and money goes, but worrying about it won’t make it come any faster. If you’d like to attract more money, keep reading to learn how to stop worrying and how to become the money magnet you really are.

1. Identify Any Negative Beliefs You Have About Money

Stop worrying about your bank account by recognizing your fears and any other negative beliefs you may have about money. Many people admit they are taught to never discuss money. Additionally, they believe that having a lot of money is evil, and that they should feel bad when spending money. These beliefs all stem from insecurity and need to be done away with if you hope to attract more money into your life.

Start becoming the money magnet you deserve to be by unlearning all these negative beliefs and replacing them with positive energy. It’s time for you to accept the idea that you deserve to have wealth.

2. Build a New Money Mindset with Positivity

The next step in learning how to stop worrying about money is the start of rebuilding your money mindset using positive affirmations. According to the law of attraction, what you think, you become. Thus, what you speak into your life will come to pass.

Start speaking positivity into your finances by using positive money affirmations on a regular basis. Begin every day by looking into a mirror and speaking the following types of affirmations to yourself:

  • I am a winner.
  • I‘m stepping into a new financial future.
  • My blessings and wealth are overflowing.
  • I deserve all the money I will make.

Positive affirmations like those above that tap into the law of attraction and your ability to bring about a change in your life with the type of energy you exude. By already believing that you deserve money and that you’re already building the wealth that you’re working towards, your life will automatically align to reach these goals.

3. Learn What You Deserve in Life

What stops many people from going after what they want is the fact that they don’t believe that they deserve it.

Want to get out of debt? Want to build generational wealth? While these may seem like lofty goals right now, the moment you already know that you deserve these things in your life is the moment that you start attracting them towards yourself.

The best thing about this obstacle of feeling undeserving is that you are fully in control of it. Stop worrying that you’ll never be financially stable and begin stepping into what you deserve.

Your dreams are only as big as you allow them to be and you deserve to dream big. Don’t give in to the insecurity that makes you feel undeserving. You are worthy of living the best life.

Start working on attracting what you deserve in life by realizing new goals. Do you hope to buy a house? Are you planning to build your savings? Write down all of your financial goals and understand that you deserve every single one of them.

4. Love Your Bills to Attract More Money

We have all been guilty of hating having to pay our bills. However, avoiding or hating your bills only adds more negative energy to your finances.

While it may seem absurd to try to love your bills, this little bit of love will go a long way. The key to attracting more money when paying your bills is to be confident, grateful, and happy as you pay the bills.

This is why part of learning how to stop worrying about money is to stop seeing bills as a black hole for your earnings. Your bills are a symbol of the life that you live, the blessings you enjoy, and your ability to finance your quality of life.

Additionally, the happier you are about getting to pay these bills, the more you will value the money you earn that you use to pay your bills. This positive energy and happiness will translate to you feeling more positive about the work you do and how you earn your money.

5. Be Happy for Others’ Financial Success

Jealousy and the feeling of missing out are strong motivators. We’ve all experienced feeling a certain sense of insecurity when we see others sharing about their luxury lifestyles or abundant lives. While these feelings can be inescapable at times, feeling this way isn’t effective if you’re hoping to stop worrying about your own finances.

Instead of feeling negative about yourself and financial situation when you see others doing well, start rejoicing for them. As you feel happier for the wealth that others are enjoying, the more the same energy will return to you.

Start destroying these negative and envious feelings by genuinely expressing excitement when you see someone else thriving. Speak the same into your life by telling yourself, “You deserve the same. You will have the same.”

This simple shift from jealousy to hopeful positivity will immediately affect how money flows into your life. Instead of being unhappy with where you are in your finances, your new happiness for others will spill over to your current situation, ultimately leading you to attract more money into your life.

6. Visualize Financial Abundance

Visualization is a powerful tool to bring about a change in your life. Do you want to increase your finances and live the lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of? Start visualizing it.

Visualize the life you want, deserve, and will have by writing out what you hope to see. And, imagine that you are living that life right now. While this may seem like a strange exercise, it will help to ease any fears you feel and help you to believe are already leading the life you long for.

To make visualization part of your daily life, commit to spending a few moments in the morning or at night to meditate on your money affirmations and visualize the life you long for. This will help you keep your goals fresh in your mind as you actively work to make them a reality each day.

7. Recognize Prosperity in Your Life

Prosperity is everywhere you go, if you know what to look for. By recognizing prosperity, you’ll be inviting it into your life.

Too often, we’re programmed to seek out poverty and notice what’s lacking in life. From your bank account to the world around you, you may be naturally inclined to see what’s wrong rather than look for what’s right.

Start transforming the way you look at life by automatically seeking out prosperity. In order for you to prosper, you must first be able to recognize prosperity.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Alicia – Chapter 2 – I’m Determined

I go into the credit union today and my love is there. Alicia is at her post and not doing anything. This is nuts. It’s almost like I’m creating scenarios for the blog.

But I feel like after three years there is a comfort in my literary work and how I much I enjoy creating new stories. I love to work and be busy, but there’s always something wonderful that snakes its way into my life to drive me forward to write new material.

There are so many old stories and a rich catalog of history that I’m very busy telling those tales. But I love that there’s always a new kink in the armor to get me going again with fresh material.

I’ve written about quiet Alicia and the mystery of my favorite teller but I’m going to press forward with her to see if I can get a story from her.

It really comes down to she always seems to do my deposits and those fuzzy forearms that are some sort of sexual trigger for me. It’s nuts, but she’s just another fascinating character in the phicklephilly universe.

Normally the world would be grossed out by her hair. I love her arms and love that she bares them all of the time. In a world of a bunch of insecure guys that have only learned about women through pornography where every thing is shaved to be technically ready for porn cameras for more detail, it has changed the culture.

I hate that.

It’s foolish. Let women rule their own bodies.

I can’t believe I’m talking about body hair and a teller at my credit union.

But I fancy her, so I’m going to see what happens until they lock me up for inappropriate behavior.

I go in with a cash deposit. It’s about a week after my last one, so all good. This one pale girl says, “Next member.”

I ignore her and go to Alicia.

Arms are bare and furry as ever. I love her and her fuzz. She doesn’t cover them and doesn’t shave or wax them. I love my Alicia.

“Last time I was in here you looked like you were headed out to lunch.”

“I was.”

“Where do you normally go to lunch?” I said through the three-inch thick bullet proof glass.

“I usually bring my lunch in, but if not I go downstairs to Suburban or Wawa.”

“Do you ever go to the Comcast food court?” (Which is God)

“No. I’ve never been there. I hear they have a lot of great food there. Like seafood and everything.”

This tells me Alicia comes into work everyday and does her job and has a very simple life. Sandwiches and a conservative life. I find this attractive and think about my crazy idea of a note.

Do I ask her out to lunch with a note? I’ve already laid the groundwork about how passing a note to a teller is a robbery.

I may do it.

I have to think on this.

It’s original and fun.

I have to be careful because she could be in a relationship and that could be a wall. But I think I’m going to try for the blog.  I’ve loved Alicia in a phicklephilly way for so long I have to do it.

It’s a teller from the credit union entertaining a good client. She should do it. I wrote good reviews about this place and I’ll write more for her.

I could use that as a tool. I know it’s wrong but it’ll be great for her.

I need to structure my deposits so I can see her more.

I’m doing this.

It’s just lunch.

I’m going to make this happen.

As my father used to say “I’m determined.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Alicia – Chapter 1 – Teller About It

STOP! This one is a little NSFW!

I worked in banking for 25 years. Probably the only thing I ever made my dad proud of me. But what a foolish choice. I did it as a young man to escape the long hours of retail. I never conformed before that. I wanted to be Joe Perry. But that wasn’t meant to be.

So sadly, when I left retail I went into retail banking. I did really well due to my low self-esteem and being an over achiever.

But now having been in the industry for so long and knowing everything about it, I keep my active account at a credit union. I like being a member, not a customer.

I go to my branch at 16th and Arch. There’s this one teller that I phicklephilly love. If you read this blog, you know what that is. I don’t really love her like I love my girlfriend but I adore her for purely lustful reasons.

She’s beautiful and sullen. Dark hair and eyes. I do what I can to light her up but there is little spark between Alicia, me, and 3 inches of bullet proof glass.

There is one thing about her that drives me crazy that normally I think most men would hate. But I’m not like anybody else. She has a dark floss of hair on her forearms.

I know, it sounds masculine, but I find it incredibly hot on this young lady. I come from the 70’s and I like hair. I like all of that. Hair is protection, maturity, and holds the scent.

Alicia’s hairy arms are so sexy to me. When she has a short-sleeved shirt on I feel like she’s sitting there with her top off and in the same moment grossing out her young male coworkers.

I like that she doesn’t care and just lets that sweet, soft fur fly.

Image result for girl with hairy forearms

Image result for girl with hairy forearms

It’s like that. Just a soft floss. Not like man arms. I like that. Maybe because in the film, Slingblade, Billy Bob Thorton says, “Hairy arms…hairy pussy.”

I love the idea that my favorite teller at my credit union has a hairy pussy. What a revelation in this modern world. A girl that handles my money on a weekly basis has a nice full bush between her legs.

Hallelujah in this day and age of no woman having anything below their eyebrows because of pornography!

It’s a travesty!

They all shave their vulvas now because of pornography. Young guys thing pubic hair is gross and every girl in modern life now shaves her nether regions. It’s ridiculous. That’s supposed to be there! I hate that now looking like an adolescent has become the norm. Disgusting.

Grow it back ladies!

I love the idea of this pretty teller that takes care of my account having a robust bush of hair between her legs.

I go into the branch and for once it’s quiet. I don’t get Alicia as my teller. I get some friendly fat guy with glasses. No one is around so I decide to hatch a plan. It could mean nothing but you never know, and fortune favors the bold.

Words I live by.

I hand him my deposit. “Hey I worked in banking for 25 years and can you imagine if you wanted to ask one of the tellers out for coffee or lunch, you just couldn’t do it.”

He laughs.

“Because there’s always people around and there’s the pesky bulletproof glass that makes it even harder.”

“Yea… ha ha.”

Now I have the attention of hot Alicia.

“You can’t pass a note, because as we all know, that anybody that passes a note to a teller in a bank or credit union is usually trying to rob the place, so that’s out!”

They all laugh and we have an industry moment. They all dig that I know banking and we’re laughing.”

 

But I want to have coffee with hot, hairy Alicia. When I get something in my head that seems impossible, I almost HAVE to do it.

I leave, but I feel that I’m a little closer to my diabolical plan unfolding.

 

A few weeks pass and I go to the credit union again. I’m making my deposit but I don’t see baby.

Then I see her leaving the branch. Obviously going to lunch. It’ll take the teller several minutes to count the cash deposit I’ve stuffed in her window slot.

It’s killing me. If I had just been here a few minutes sooner, my deposit would be done and I would’ve asked hot Alicia to lunch and offered to pay for all of her great service. She couldn’t refuse. She knows I have good loot in my account.

I’ve only seen her from the waist up at her window and now I’m seeing her walking out of the branch. The legs are good, and she’s even hotter to me now.

Fuck! She’s gone and it takes forever for the teller to count through my money.

But then she comes back! She must have forgotten something! I have a chance!

Nope. Deposit is taking years and even though I’ve said hello to her, she is once again out the fucking door.

Goddamn it.

I’m going to make this happen.

I may pass the note. Maybe on the envelope I pass her loaded with cash next time I go in.

I hope I don’t get arrested.

Phicklephilly’s not going to write itself.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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How To Live Your #bestlife This Holiday Season (While Also Sticking To Your Budget)

I pride myself on being an excellent gift giver, so the holidays are really my time to shine. Maybe my Leo sun is the reason I love finding the right gifts for my friends and family members, but there’s nothing better than hearing, “Wait, this is perfect! How did you think of this?!”

Budgets and high prices rarely stand in my way when I find the one thing that’s just so them (or when that “one thing” is actually two or three things). Unfortunately, that means I tend to overextend myself — financially and emotionally — on my quest to find the ideal present for everyone.

But I’m not the only one who spends a lot toward the end of the year. A recent survey on holiday spending found that in 2018, the average consumer planned to spend nearly $650 on gifts for friends, family, and coworkers for the holidays. No matter if that number feels comfortable or overwhelming for your budget, it’s worth following a few small-but-mighty ways to make sure you’re maintaining your financial health throughout the holiday season.

First Things First: Figure Out Why You’re Spending The Way You Are

Imcsike/Shutterstock

Spending habits can be hard to change. If you’ve always bought a gift for a friend in the past, it’s easy to get caught in a pattern of buying something for them every year, but experts suggest it may be helpful to take a step back and figure out why you’re compelled to buy them anything at all.

“Many of us don’t see our family and friends as often as we’d like (hello, life) and to make up for lost time, we give with tangible things like gifts,” says Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, a licensed master social worker and a financial therapist who helps people understand the psychology behind spending.

So when you’re planning holiday gifts, take time to evaluate who you’re buying for and why they’re on your list. Is it, as Bryan-Podvin suggests, about how you feel giving them a gift? (Um, guilty.) Or is it out of a sense of obligation?

As certified financial planner Liz Frazier says, “You are not Santa. Buy for the people you want to buy for, not because you feel obligated.”

Make Your Budget Your Best Friend

Building a budget can be fairly simple, but you have to be realistic about it — which means setting aside some time to plan it out earlier than December 1. Luckily, having that plan in place could help you avoid some common money mistakes.

According to money coach Emma Leigh Geiser, most money issues can be simplified into two main categories: underestimating and overspending. Many people try to set a budget using “mental math,” says Geiser, but they tend to underestimate how much things will actually add up. Then reality kicks in and they’re hit with sticker shock, and that’s when overspending happens.

To keep your money in a good place, set up your holiday spending plan before you start shopping. Between purchases, you can check in with your budget to make sure you’re staying on a productive track.

Think Outside The Gift-Giving Box

Personally, I make it a point to donate a portion of my holiday spending budget to a local organization that ensures children in their care network have gifts to open on Christmas morning. It’s an important line item in my budget, and I encourage everyone to do something similar around the holidays if you can.

But, as Bryan-Podvin points out, “Nonprofits need funding year-round, not just during the holiday rush.” Consider spacing your contributions out throughout the other 11 months of the year to make budgeting easier.

Plan Your Holiday Travel Sooner Than Later

Nomad_Soul/Shutterstock

For those of us who live far from family, going home for the holidays is often a lot more involved than simply dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh — and it’s usually more costly.

Luckily, there are plenty of tools that can help you find a solid deal on flights, like apps that show you if the most affordable time to book your trip is today, or maybe a couple of weeks from now. You can easily filter by number of stops, airline, and time of day to make sure you’re finding an option that suits your budget and your schedule.

That in mind, sometimes holiday deals book up too quickly for you to actually take advantage of them. If that’s the case, fear not! There are other budget-friendly ways to cash in on some quality time with your loved ones. “See if there is an off-season time you can visit, say for a relative’s big birthday or anniversary,” Bryan-Podvin suggests. “It allows you quality time with less competing demands and often results in cheaper travel. To double-up on this idea, send a holiday card with your tentative travel dates or flight receipt to the person you’ll be visiting. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!”

Try This Tip For Navigating Post-Holiday Sales

Who doesn’t love a sale? Sales are great — if you actually need whatever you’re buying. “Just because something is on sale doesn’t mean you have to buy it,” Frazier says. After all, buying something (even if it’s on sale) is still spending money.

When it comes to spending any money you received over the holidays, Frazier suggests writing down a list of the things you want and need, then shopping the sales with a keen eye on those items only — a strategy that can help you overcome a common pitfall of impulse shopping.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Prince Andrew is a Fucking Liar

The Duke of York claimed on Saturday night that he could not have had sex with a teenage girl in the London home of British socialite Ghislaine Maxwell because he was at home after attending a children’s party at Pizza Express in Woking.

Prince Andrew gave the startling explanation in a bombshell interview with Emily Maitlis for BBC’s Newsnight in which he was grilled about his relationship with the disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein, who has been exposed as a pedophile.

In a sometimes rambling and contradictory account of their friendship, the prince insisted he had not had sex with any women trafficked by Epstein in any of his properties. He confirmed that he had flown on Epstein’s now notorious jet, nicknamed the Lolita Express, and stayed on his private island and at his home in Palm Beach, as well as at his New York mansion.

“If you’re a man it is a positive act to have sex with somebody,” the prince explained. “You have to …. take some sort of positive action and so therefore if you try to forget it’s very difficult to try and forget a positive action and I do not remember anything.”

Of the allegations that he had sex with Virginia Giuffre, formerly known as Virginia Roberts, when she was 17, the prince categorically denied it ever happened.

Roberts has said that they partied at Tramp nightclub in London on 10 March 2001, before going back to Maxwell’s Belgravia mews house where she claims she had sex with Andrew.

The prince said: “I was with the children and I’d taken Beatrice to a Pizza Express in Woking for a party at I suppose four or five in the afternoon. And then because the duchess [Sarah Ferguson] was away, we have a simple rule in the family that when one is away the other is there.”

A photograph of the prince with his arm around Roberts’s waist has been widely circulated, but the prince repeatedly said in his Newsnight interview he had “no recollection of that photograph ever being taken”. He said the picture appeared to have been taken upstairs in Maxwell’s house, somewhere “I don’t think I ever went”.

Yesterday Giuffre retweeted several disparaging tweets about the prince including one that read: “Prince Andrew’s shocking interview was an attempt to save his reputation – but it just raised more questions.”

In the interview the prince said he last saw Maxwell earlier this year. He defended his relationship with Epstein, who was found dead earlier this year in prison while being held on sex trafficking charges, saying it had opened up opportunities for him as he transitioned out of the navy: “In the navy it’s a pretty isolated business because you’re out at sea the whole time and I was going to become the special representative for international trade and development. The opportunities I was given to learn either by him or because of him were actually very useful.”

He confirmed that Epstein had been a guest at Windsor and Sandringham and that he attended a dinner celebrating the financier’s release from prison. An arrest warrant was issued for Epstein in May 2006, for sexual assault of a minor. The prince confirmed that he invited Epstein to Princess Beatrice’s 18th birthday the following July and was unaware that the warrant had been issued.

In 2010, the prince was photographed walking with Epstein in New York’s Central Park – two years after Epstein’s first conviction for soliciting a minor for prostitution. When it was pointed out during the interview that he was staying at the house of a “convicted sex offender”, he said: “It was a convenient place to stay… At the end of the day, with the benefit of all the hindsight one can have, it was definitely the wrong thing to do. But at the time, I felt it was the honourable and right thing to do. And I admit fully that my judgment was probably coloured by my tendency to be too honourable but that is just the way it is.”

The prince said he went to the US to tell Epstein they could no longer see each other, as “doing it over the telephone was the chicken’s way”. Of claims that witnesses saw young girls entering Epstein’s mansion, the prince said: “you have to understand that his house, I described it … almost as a railway station … there were people coming in and out… all the time.”

He appeared to be open to giving a statement under oath, something Epstein’s victims have been demanding: “If push came to shove and the legal advice was to do so, then I would be duty bound to do so.” Before the broadcast, Gloria Allred, a lawyer acting for a number of Epstein’s victims, said: “Rather than just going on television he, I think, would be well served to just say I’m willing to take the oath and appear at a deposition.”

The prince said that his association with the financier had been “a constant sore in the family”.

The Duke of York claimed on Saturday night that he could not have had sex with a teenage girl in the London home of British socialite Ghislaine Maxwell because he was at home after attending a children’s party at Pizza Express in Woking.

Prince Andrew gave the startling explanation in a bombshell interview with Emily Maitlis for BBC’s Newsnight in which he was grilled about his relationship with the disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein, who has been exposed as a pedophile.

In a sometimes rambling and contradictory account of their friendship, the prince insisted he had not had sex with any women trafficked by Epstein in any of his properties. He confirmed that he had flown on Epstein’s now notorious jet, nicknamed the Lolita Express, and stayed on his private island and at his home in Palm Beach, as well as at his New York mansion.

“If you’re a man it is a positive act to have sex with somebody,” the prince explained. “You have to …. take some sort of positive action and so therefore if you try to forget it’s very difficult to try and forget a positive action and I do not remember anything.”

Of the allegations that he had sex with Virginia Giuffre, formerly known as Virginia Roberts, when she was 17, the prince categorically denied it ever happened.

Roberts has said that they partied at Tramp nightclub in London on 10 March 2001, before going back to Maxwell’s Belgravia mews house where she claims she had sex with Andrew.

The prince said: “I was with the children and I’d taken Beatrice to a Pizza Express in Woking for a party at I suppose four or five in the afternoon. And then because the duchess [Sarah Ferguson] was away, we have a simple rule in the family that when one is away the other is there.”

A photograph of the prince with his arm around Roberts’s waist has been widely circulated, but the prince repeatedly said in his Newsnight interview he had “no recollection of that photograph ever being taken”. He said the picture appeared to have been taken upstairs in Maxwell’s house, somewhere “I don’t think I ever went”.

Yesterday Giuffre retweeted several disparaging tweets about the prince including one that read: “Prince Andrew’s shocking interview was an attempt to save his reputation – but it just raised more questions.”

In the interview the prince said he last saw Maxwell earlier this year. He defended his relationship with Epstein, who was found dead earlier this year in prison while being held on sex trafficking charges, saying it had opened up opportunities for him as he transitioned out of the navy: “In the navy it’s a pretty isolated business because you’re out at sea the whole time and I was going to become the special representative for international trade and development. The opportunities I was given to learn either by him or because of him were actually very useful.”

He confirmed that Epstein had been a guest at Windsor and Sandringham and that he attended a dinner celebrating the financier’s release from prison. An arrest warrant was issued for Epstein in May 2006, for sexual assault of a minor. The prince confirmed that he invited Epstein to Princess Beatrice’s 18th birthday the following July and was unaware that the warrant had been issued.

In 2010, the prince was photographed walking with Epstein in New York’s Central Park – two years after Epstein’s first conviction for soliciting a minor for prostitution. When it was pointed out during the interview that he was staying at the house of a “convicted sex offender”, he said: “It was a convenient place to stay… At the end of the day, with the benefit of all the hindsight one can have, it was definitely the wrong thing to do. But at the time, I felt it was the honorable and right thing to do. And I admit fully that my judgment was probably colored by my tendency to be too honorable but that is just the way it is.”

The prince said he went to the US to tell Epstein they could no longer see each other, as “doing it over the telephone was the chicken’s way”. Of claims that witnesses saw young girls entering Epstein’s mansion, the prince said: “you have to understand that his house, I described it … almost as a railway station … there were people coming in and out… all the time.”

He appeared to be open to giving a statement under oath, something Epstein’s victims have been demanding: “If push came to shove and the legal advice was to do so, then I would be duty bound to do so.” Before the broadcast, Gloria Allred, a lawyer acting for a number of Epstein’s victims, said: “Rather than just going on television he, I think, would be well served to just say I’m willing to take the oath and appear at a deposition.”

The prince said that his association with the financier had been “a constant sore in the family”.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

9 Things That Scream, “I’m Not a Good Person”

Recently there was an interesting discussion on Reddit about the horrible qualities that make you stay away from a person. Users shared their life experience and recognize the “narcissist” in their friends or relatives. And it looks like some of them are very fed up with the rude behavior of others.

We at phicklephilly decided to dig deeper into some of the threads and find the psychological explanation of a “bad” person.

1. Avoiding responsibilities

“Avoiding your responsibilities and sticking someone else with the bill” was called out as one of the bad qualities on Reddit. Fear of taking any kind of responsibility can cause a psychological disorder.

A person, for example, can have a panic attack whenever they unconsciously realize that there is an obligation. It may happen for different reasons:

1. Low tolerance to negative emotions

2. Lack of courage

3. Low self-esteem

4. Fear of making mistakes and fear of failure

2. Inability to accept criticism

© depositphotos.com

Ouch. No one wants to be criticized. It hurts, but sometimes people can’t even swallow the simple truths about themselves. But being open to new information means an ability to change for the better. “Taking any kind of criticism or conflicting opinion as a personal attack” is not cool, according to Reddit users.

And if we can take criticism, we can grow. But there is still the question of why some of people can be so closed-minded:

1. They don’t rationalize.

2. They don’t want to make excuses.

3. They don’t minimize the problem.

4. They don’t want to share the blame.

3. Making fun of other people’s appearances

© depositphotos.com

People often insult each other intentionally, and the emotional scars from this linger for quite a while. People have a need to feel unique from others, but humiliation is not the right way to go about this.

Mocking another person for his or her appearance or views can cause a huge problem for both parties. It is difficult to manage your anger when you hear someone making fun of you or bullying you. In any case it’s better to:

1. Make eye contact and pause instantly.

2. Walk away and don’t react.

3. Minimize your contact with the aggressor.

4. Inability to apologize

If I did it, it wasn’t that bad. And if you are hurt, you deserve it. Words like this can finish off a man. Instead of an apology, you get aggression. Public opinion confirms: “I hate when someone just gives a vague “sorry.”

The reason why they do this can vary:

1. They’re afraid of taking responsibilities.

2. They don’t want to feel a shame that can be really unbearable for them. So each time they will try to make the situation even worse, than ruin a perfect image about themselves.

5. Being disrespectful to people and their work

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Being disrespectful to other people and to their work doesn’t help anyone. You just watch with an open mouth and you can’t believe that a person is serious. People who often behave disrespectfully to others may have:

1. A form of self-protection against feelings of inadequacy, or

2. A different style of communication that easily triggers misunderstandings.

6. Being 2-faced

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You meet someone who might talk to you nicely and even invite you for coffee, but then you find out that they say you are a freak behind your back. Betrayal!

“Back-stabbing people appear to be nice and helpful to your face, but sing a completely different tune behind your back.” These people may not like the other person, but they don’t have anyone else at the moment or they are afraid of confrontation and aggression.

It is better to:

1. Confirm your suspicions and not be in a rush to blame.

2. Get distant from this person.

3. Avoid revenge.

4. Have a frank and tough discussion with this person.

7. Applying certain rules to specific people, but not to themselves

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Hypocrisy is not a result of having double standards, but pretending you have one standard when you don’t have any. Saying one thing and doing another is not that rare.

1. The best way to get a reputation for fairness is to be fair. But since this is easier said than done, we more often choose appearance over reality.

2. Self-deception. Benjamin Franklin confirmed that humans exert very little effort to get real evidence when making decisions. Moreover, humans tend to think highly of themselves, and overlook weakness and failures.

3. Self-ignorance. Psychological researchers found that humans are accurate in their perceptions of others, but generally inaccurate in their perceptions of themselves.

8. Never tipping, even when you can afford it

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One research study showed that the extroverted qualities that people from certain cultures have are directly related to how much they tip — the more extroverted, the larger the tip. We have several different motivations for tipping:

1. Encouraging better service on the next visit

2. Rewarding a server

3. Gaining social approval

9. Being envious, even for a small win

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People get envious sometimes when they see you succeed. This could even include your best friend. But anyone can get envious and it’s a different story when you spoil someone’s moment who shared a victory with you.

Darwin’s theory of evolution says that humans behave in this way to enhance their individual survival. It drives a person. There are different styles of dealing with this, for example:

1. Always keeping your good qualities in mind.

2. Staying focused on something different, rather than being self-focused.

How do you normally react when a person is rude? Do you know of any qualities that can make anyone a dreadful human being to be around? Please, share your comments with us below!

 

 

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Tales of Rock – 5 Respected Musicians Who Were Actually Terrible People

Some musicians just have a freakish amount of talent. Most of us learn at a young age that we are not those people. The realization probably came as soon as you were old enough to read social cues and you tried showing off your amazing talents to anyone except your pet. (Daisy is a very good dog, but maybe not a very good judge of musical ability.) Those who do have that freakish amount of talent are the singer-songwriters, the people who can play any instrument they pick up, the ones who get lost in the music of their own making whether they’re in the studio or on stage. There’s something almost magical about listening to a true musical genius, and they’ve definitely earned our respect. But it’s easy to forget that behind all that music is a very ordinary person, and sometimes, that ordinary person is a terrible human being.

1. Johnny Cash’s troubles with women

5 Respected musicians who were actually terrible people

There’s a lot of dark stuff in Johnny Cash’s life, but let’s talk about just how horrible he was to women. Vivian Cash’s book I Walked the Line: My Life with Johnny was a heartbreaking tell-all detailing how she continued loving her husband even through the drugs and the affair with his more famous second partner, June Carter Cash. It was Vivian who gave him four daughters, raised them, and who stuck with him through the worst of the arrests and the accidental forest fires (via USA Today), but Johnny gave all the credit to June.

Behind closed doors, June Carter didn’t actually have it any easier, in spite of the storybook romance performed in the public eye. Biographer Robert Hilburn (via Esquire) says he was stunned when he found out Cash had cheated on her when she was pregnant with son John Carter. There were more than a few women, but the one that had to hurt the most was June’s own sister, Anita. John Carter has also gone on record talking about his parents’ less-than-perfect marriage, and has said (via Reuters) his mother’s drug addictions and descent into paranoia came from a near-constant fear he was cheating yet again. That fear spread to their son, who grew up well aware that his family could fall apart at any time because his father couldn’t stay faithful.

2. Chuck Berry’s icky past

5 Respected musicians who were actually terrible people

Chuck Berry was a legend who helped shape rock and roll, and when he died in 2017, The New Yorker described him as “a proud and difficult man” who “was also a genius.” He also once punched Keith Richards in the mouth for touching his guitar while they were getting together to organize Berry’s 60th birthday party. That’s the attitude that got him into all kinds of trouble, and Berry even had a name for those incidents: his “naughties.”

It started when, as a teenager, he did three years in a reform school for stealing cars and a bit of armed robbery. Fast-forward to 1962, when Berry was 36 years old. He was tossed in the clink for violating the Mann Act, a law that prohibits taking a woman across state lines with “immoral” intentions. Oh, and the girl was 14. He served 20 months of the three years he was originally sentenced to (via NPR), getting out because they appealed after the judge made racist comments.

Let’s not forget about the 1989 accusations, either. That’s when law enforcement raided his property and found a few weapons, some pot, and videotapes of women in what they thought was the privacy of bathrooms and changing rooms of his properties. The official suit, says Riverfront Times, accused him of filming women in compromising positions for “entertainment and gratification.” Berry’s camp eventually settled, but that seriously tarnishes any legacy.

3. Lead Belly’s penchant for violence

5 Respected musicians who were actually terrible people

Lead Belly died in 1949, and if you don’t remember him, you should at least be glad groups like Creedence Clearwater Revival and artists like Bob Dylan didn’t forget him. Even George Harrison once said, “No Lead Belly, no Beatles.” You know the songs he recorded, too — like “The Midnight Special” and “Goodnight Irene” (via The Telegraph).

Huddie Ledbetter was born in 1888, and he picked up the name Lead Belly in prison. He did several stretches in jail, starting with 30 days on a chain gang in 1915 for getting in a particularly violent fight. Two years later he was arrested again, this time for killing his cousin’s husband and nearly killing another. He was pardoned in 1925 but went back in jail in 1930, this time for stabbing and what Black History Now says was “assault with intent to murder.” It was during this stint he was discovered by a pair of musicologists who were recording songs for the Smithsonian, and Lead Belly recorded hundreds for them. The rest of his life was a combination of performing at venues of all sizes across the country, and more time in jail. There was another stabbing incident in 1939, assault in 1940 … you get the picture. He was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease only months before he died from it, and he left behind an incredible legacy. And some dead people.

4. Elvis’s underage flings

5 Respected musicians who were actually terrible people

It’s impossible to describe the effect Elvis had on music history, so let’s get right to the dirt. He was 21 when he became ridiculously famous with the success of “Heartbreak Hotel,” and after that, all bets were off when it came to how far he was going to go. Along with the fame and fortune came the admiration of countless women, but according to biographer Joel Williamson (via Broadly), there was a particular type of woman Elvis liked: the really, really young ones.

The right age to be an Elvis girl was 14, and when the 22-year-old megastar went on those early tours he took along a little group of 14-year-olds. Williamson says he was a huge fan of tickling and wrestling, along with everything else short of actual intercourse. Future wife Priscilla was 14 when they met (he was 24), and just what went on behind closed doors is debated. What’s not debated is that he lost interest in her after Lisa Marie was born, and went on to court another 14-year-old named Reeca Smith.

There was a bit of violence in Elvis, too. Years later, he was engaged to a 21-year-old who claimed he once pulled out a gun and put a bullet in the headboard of the bed she was sleeping in, saying it was “an attention getter.” The Guardian says in between those major relationships there were a ton of others, many with underage girls who preferably had tiny, tiny feet.

5. Frank Sinatra’s destructive temper

5 Respected musicians who were actually terrible people

Frank Sinatra was iconic on stage, but there was a lot of shady stuff that happened off-stage. Let’s talk about one part of that: his temper. According to The Telegraph, it was so bad that one of his wives once described him as a sort of Jekyll-and-Hyde character, and there’s a whole list of physical altercations he was involved in. First, the ones where someone got seriously hurt.

He punched a reporter in 1948, eventually settling the assault and battery charges filed against him. He was staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel when he threw a phone at a random businessman who was also there, and cracked the man’s skull. He nearly killed his then-wife Ava Gardner by throwing a champagne bottle at her so hard it cracked the bathroom sink.

Sinatra destroyed an insane amount of stuff, too, usually in fits of rage. He took a knife to a Norman Rockwell painting and shredded it, threw a malfunctioning TV out a window at Sands Hotel in Las Vegas, and smashed a car radio when The Doors’ “Light My Fire” came on. GQ says some of the stuff that met an untimely end under his boot was pretty priceless, too, like the Ming vase he destroyed at a Hong Kong hotel after someone missed a lighting cue. That’s what happens when you get too used to having things your way.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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