11 Things That Attract A Younger Woman To An Older Man

Have you ever been attracted to an older man? Suddenly your friend’s father or his/her older brother or even your college professor seems like a forbidden fruit you want to indulge in. When you see Milind Soman, you can’t stop drooling over this silver fox and his mature personality. Young woman-older man relationships are common nowadays, especially among celebrities. From George Clooney and Amal Clooney, Hillary Burton and Dave Morgan, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively to Beyonce and Jay-Z, they all have been in marriages with a huge age difference. So, what attracts a younger woman to an older man? Let’s find out.

According to a study conducted by St. Mary’s University’s (Halifax), Sara Skentelbery, and Darren Fowler, women who date older men are looking for father figures. There’s a possibility that they were neglected by their fathers as children and now they are looking for attention from older men. The study also says that older men come with financial security that women often look for and when older men go for younger women they could be looking to reproduce at an older age. Whatever the reason maybe we will look into what really attracts a younger woman to an older man.

So why would a younger woman choose an older man? What do younger women actually look for in older men? Are they just sexually attracted to older men or it is something more? The attraction between older men and younger women sets some obvious sparks which are hard to resist. Sometimes it’s just sexual attraction while there are times that it turns out into something more meaningful. Whether or not the relationship is meaningful or sexual, purely depends on compatibility and differs from person to person. Here are 11 things that attract a younger woman to an older man.

When you actually fall in love, age is just a number.

1. They are more responsible and mature

We all agree that men act like grown-up kids or are as a man child. They run away from responsibilities and maturity is something you can’t expect from them. Many times, women find men of their age to lack a sense of responsibility. Women get tired of doing all the work and seek someone who is responsible and will look after them, instead of vice versa. In the long run, married men become lazy and women feel that older men would still be able to understand their problems because of their maturity levels.

Women mature faster than men and seek someone to match their level of maturity. Older men are more responsible which make them ideal for such women.

2. A sense of security

Older men provide a sense of security which is an essential criterion for a happy relationship. Most of the time, older men are more accomplished in life. As and when they reach heights in their career, they procure certain assets to secure their future. Women seek emotional and financial security, especially when they are thinking of settling down. Finding a man, who is able to make them feel both emotionally and financially secure, is something that draws them towards older men. They feel more comfortable knowing that their future is secure with such a person.

3. They are more experienced

Older men have played the field for a longer time and are more experienced in handling women. Their experience with women makes them adept at handling women. They can handle a woman’s mood swings and can also comfort them with the right words and actions. Younger women feel more comfortable with older men because they know all the right words to say when they feel pulled down. Older men make them feel emotionally secure.

Related Reading: He thought he’d have a good time with a younger woman, she asked him for a loan

4. The daddy issues

Women with daddy issues usually get easily attracted to older men. They want the next male figure to be someone who is the opposite of their father. Someone who understands her like her father didn’t. In the attempt of seeking someone unlike their father, younger women find older men as a replacement for their father. They seek a mentor, a friend, and someone to give them advice. In the process, these younger women get attracted to the wisdom and maturity of older men and fall for them.

Younger woman may be having daddy issues

5. They know what they want in life

If you ask a guy of your age what he wants in life, he will either stare at you with a blank expression or will give you some immature answer like, “Playing video games all my life” or “Nothing but sleep”. The same response from an older man will be about his ambitions, his career objectives, and his future prospects. Older men are driven by goals and direction which is what makes younger women get attracted to them. And then by the time you figure that you are married to a wrong person, it is too late. This is because women are usually more mature than men and they look for someone who would match their level of maturity.

6. Their mysterious aura

Sexy older men have this sense of mysteriousness around them. The frowns on their forehead or the seriousness in their face says that there’s something deeper to them and you can’t help but want to know more about their story. The lesser an older man talks about himself, the more you want to know about him. Blame it on chick flicks or rom-com movies, you feel as if he has a dreadful past and you want to act like the girl who revived him from it and brought happiness back into his life again.

Related Reading: 8 Relationship Problems Faced By Couples With Huge Age Difference

7. They are more understanding

Older men are more understanding than younger men. They don’t fight over small issues and make a big deal about them. Older men are more patient and will try to find the root of the problem and resolve the issue rather than playing the blame game. Their conflict resolution skills are exceptional. They keep their calm and will try to understand you first before jumping to conclusions. Women find this attractive because they feel like older men understand their feelings, value their emotions, and know how to respect them.

Older men understand better

8. They aren’t afraid of marriage

Younger women eventually get tired of heartbreaks and look for settling down with someone who isn’t going to break their hearts anymore. Older men make the perfect match because at that time they are looking towards settling down with someone. They aren’t afraid of marriage and make such women feel secure and assure her that this is not going to end up like another fling of theirs. Younger women feel that finally, they aren’t going to suffer another heartache.

9. They make a good sugar daddy

Younger women get easily attracted to older men because sometimes all they are looking for is to be a sugar baby. Younger men and women like easy money and don’t mind dating older people for it. They want someone to pay their bills and give them a lifestyle they wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford. Some younger women want sugar daddies to give them expensive gifts that they can show off in front of others, something which would make them socially desirable and boost their ego. An older man would give them all these perks which she would otherwise not be able to afford.

Related Reading: 6 Bollywood Movies Where The Lead Characters Have Had A Huge Age Difference

10. They’re good in bed

If there’s one more thing older men have more experience in, it’s with women. Older men are more experienced in bed too and know how to satisfy their women. They understand s*x is not only for them but also for the women. There’s this chemistry between an older man and a younger woman that does wonders in bed too. It’s hard for the spark to go off when you’re dating an older man.

Older men are good in bed

11. The heart wants what it wants

Sometimes a younger woman dating an older man has nothing to do with his age. We say that love is blind and the heart wants what it wants. After all, there is no set age difference for a great marriage! Sometimes it’s just compatibility and understanding that just makes them click. Cupid can strike anywhere and at any time. It can bring two totally opposite people together, even if they have a huge age gap. For people whose age isn’t a factor, a huge age gap doesn’t make a difference.

Can an older man love a younger woman? How does it feel like dating older men? Dating an older man will make you feel that you’ve finally found someone who wants the same thing as you.

However, there are some important things that you need to think about. Will this person be able to handle your immaturity or will he treat you like a child? What are his plans for children? Where do you see your future with him? You need these questions answered as you don’t want to end up like Monica Geller who had to leave Richard because he didn’t want kids.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Why Women Find Older Men Attractive

It seems that there are quite a few women who want to spend their lives with much older men. There is even a special term created for this type of relationship, the May—December romance. It sounds pretty romantic, but some people still look down on couples whose age differs significantly. This happens because they don’t realize that there are amazing reasons why women are attracted to silver foxes.

Phicklephilly knows at least 10 valuable reasons why this happens. And we’re going to tell you about them right now.

10. They are more mature.

 

It’s common knowledge that women tend to mature earlier than men. That’s why younger guys who are usually at the age where they still want to try different things and explore the world before entering a serious relationship, are just not the right partners for them.

Older men may seem more reliable and attractive to women who are ready for deeper commitments and family. Because these men are more likely to have passed their wild phase and want to settle down.

9. They know stuff.

 

We all heard that with age comes great wisdom. But there is also an ending to this saying, “but sometimes age comes alone.” It seems that Oscar Wilde was wrong, as studies prove that older men are more intelligent than younger men. And the possible reason is their broader life experience.

Women confirm this finding. They are sure that older men have gone through plenty of life experience that has effectively taught them various lessons. You can see this through their conversations.

8. They know what they want.

 

Another valuable trait some women highlight is that older men have less mess in their lives — and this means stability. They know exactly what they want, how to get it, and how meaningful it is. That’s why they usually don’t waste anyone’s time playing games. And that’s why they have no barriers when it comes to approaching anyone whose help or advice they need.

7. They are more financially stable.

Most women really want to be financially secure. Because when you start a family, you need to make sure that your man has enough money and assets to provide the support you and your kids need. And this is where older men are usually ahead of the game.

An average Joe in his late 20s tends to have fewer assets and less savings compared to older men. Younger guys still have to develop themselves and their careers. They’re looking for financial opportunities, and family is not something they care about in the first place.

6. They are partners.

 

Mature love is about patience, care, trust, and sometimes independence rather than anything else. But youth is known for its “all-or-nothing” mindset, storms of feelings, and standing ground. If there is at least one person who is wisely ready to take a back seat or at least to initiate the discussion of issues, there is hope for the relationship to last.

That’s why women appreciate when their men are able to be partners and not someone who wants to make the world revolve around them. Women do not need to be told what to do or even “allowed” to do something. Being equal is the thing that actually matters.

5. They have no problem with helping women around the house.

Women do need help with their household chores, and it seems that older men have fewer biases when it comes to this point. We can see this in a lot of comments from women on Reddit, they say that their older significant others never claimed that household chores were only a woman’s job. For example, some men do the dishes after meals or even wash their own clothes. Of course, it doesn’t mean that they have to do it all the time, but they can be helpful when there is a need.

4. They know how to treat women.

 

It seems that women appreciate all the relationship experience older men might have had. And it is no wonder since they really have had enough time to develop and practice their skills for treating women right.

The knowledge of what makes love fail or go on gives them a bit of advantage. They understand what women usually need and what will make them happy. They know how to avoid (or at least try to avoid) the same problems they have already been through. And this makes the relationship that much easier.

3. They’re charismatic.

Older men have unique attractiveness that triggers something in women. First of all, it’s in their appearance — noble wrinkles around their eyes, salt and pepper hair, light stubble in some of them. They also have their own way of presenting themselves, and women like the way they act, laugh and behave. They stand out thanks to their unique sense of style because they don’t usually follow fashion trends as closely as college-aged boys.

2. They don’t seek out drama.

 

Let’s face it, women are pretty emotional creatures. They can easily exaggerate things and act without thinking. That’s why it is important for them to have men who are able to make them stop and breathe. And it appears that older men tend to have this skill.

We believe that they just don’t look for any drama or conflict anymore. They prefer not to argue over ordinary problems. And even if there is an issue they can sit down and talk it out like adults and come up with a solution that will be beneficial for all parties.

1. They provide a feeling of security.

 

Some women mentioned security in their comments, and we can’t omit this point either. In fact, security is one of our basic needs, according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. And what can make women secure and comfortable in their everyday lives? We believe that all the things we’ve discussed above can do this.

You need money and other assets to be financially secure. You need a reliable partner to spend your life with. And you need to know where your life is going. It seems that older men are better able to provide all of these things and make us feel safe.

Do you find older men attractive? Why do you like them?

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

The Truth About Dating Significantly Younger Women

(Hey, my sister gave me that scarf for Christmas!)

OPINION: Twenty-eight-year-old Lady Kitty Spencer, Diana, Princess of Wales’s niece, has been seen strolling through the streets of New York with her arm draped around the shoulder of her 60-year-old boyfriend, fashion millionaire Michael Lewis.

It’s the first public acknowledgment that she is indeed with a man twice her age, a man who is even older than her own father, Earl Spencer, 54.

Romantics will say, why shouldn’t they date? After all, age is just a number. To which cynics like me will retort: yeah, a big zero!

For having dated women much younger than me – the biggest gap was 25 years – I hope Mr Lewis won’t mind me offering a little bit of caring and concerned advice: don’t do it!

Lady Kitty Spencer, 28, has just gone public with her romance with her 60-year-old boyfriend.

The pleasures of dating young women like Kitty Spencer are pretty obvious from an older male perspective: youth, beauty, and sexiness. But often, young women are just arm candy; visual Viagra for the older, sagging male ego.

Of course, we older men never admit that preferring to claim that they are “terrific fun” and “terribly bright” – even when they’re thick as two planks.

But what are the pitfalls of dating young women for the older man?

I gave up going out on dates with young women when I turned 50. (I’m 64 now.) There’s something I call the “yuck factor”; that is, the spectacle of an older man trying to woo or seduce a young woman is just a bit… yucky.

Is this pure ageism? Perhaps. My dad was always chasing young women – actually, he was always chasing any woman with a pulse – so I swore I would never be that way.

There are more practical and rational reasons why I gave up dating young women. They’re a bloody nightmare to go out with.

Many years ago I squired a woman 19 years younger than me who worked in PR. She would always turn up late for dinner – saying: “Sorry, I’m such a flake!” – and then spend ages on her phone: “Sorry, I need to get this…” In the middle of my funniest anecdote, she’d tell me: “Sorry, I need to just send this one text.” Eventually, I said: “Sorry, this isn’t working!”

I know men are from Mars, but what planet are young women from?

You send them a beautifully crafted love letter and they send you a text consisting of three Xs and three heart emojis. (And they say romance is dead.)

I had a brief fling with a young woman who was an aspiring novelist and 20 years younger than me. I would bring her flowers and champagne; she would bring me her best gay friend and her dog.

Princess Diana’s niece Lady Kitty Spencer, 28, and 60-year-old $100m fashion tycoon go public with their romance. One of the biggest gaps between older men and younger women is not just age, but culture. They don’t get your references. Classic lines from Casablanca are greeted with silence or puzzlement; when a young woman asked me if Gone with the Wind was a rom-com, I knew we were in trouble.

Unlike Michael Lewis and other men of his kind, I never felt comfortable indulging in public displays of affection with a young woman. I tried it once and got age-shamed. We’d had a few cocktails in Soho and out on the street I was staring into my date’s eyes, getting ready for that first kiss, when a voice cried out: “Go on, Grandad, give ‘er one for me!”

Funny how little helpful comments like that can kill the moment.

That sad little story raises the biggest obstacle of all: sex. You can be a rich, powerful, successful older man that beautiful young women adore – but naked, you’re just another old bloke with chin wobble, belly spread, and buttocks that hang like drooping breasts.

There was a hilarious episode of Sex and the City when Samantha was dating a very rich 70-year-old man who plied her with diamond jewelry. She claimed that it was just as easy to have sex with an older man as a young man – if the lights were out. Everything was going fine for Samantha until her lover went to the loo and she spotted his backside… and she took instant flight.

I was told by the author Dolly Alderton that a man should always “carry his naked body” – no matter how old or fat – “with confidence”, because, she claimed, it was “so terribly sexy!”

I tried that once. My young companion took one look at the naked me and suggested we watch telly instead.

There are young women who actually prefer older men. Kitty Spencer’s last boyfriend, another rich chap, was older than her, too.

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas have clearly found a way to make it work.

When I went out with younger women, I always wondered: are they really into me, or do they just have daddy issues? By that I mean they want from older men the love and admiration they never got from their fathers.

I’m not saying the age gap can’t be overcome. Harrison Ford was 38 years older than Calista Flockhart when they first dated, and Michael Douglas was 56 when he hooked up with 31-year-old Catherine Zeta-Jones – and both couples are still going strong.

So, good luck to Kitty and Michael – they’re going to need it. Me, I’m just glad my days of dating much younger women are over.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Stop Stigmatizing Age-Gap Relationships

‘Love is love’ should include all healthy relationships

Have you ever been out to dinner and glanced at another table and noticed an older man dining with a younger woman? Did you judge that man? Did you judge that woman? For many, the first thought is “he’s a pervert,” or “she’s probably a gold digger.” These are said far too often when people encounter individuals involved in an age-gap relationship.

Are friendships, relationships, rapports not respected if those involved are not the same age or undergoing the same phase of life? Today, people are so quick to shame relationships if the individuals involved are not of similar ages. People seem to lose their minds over anything above a seven-year age difference. Without any background information, people everywhere are constantly judging relationships they don’t know anything about.

It is important to note that I am not encouraging older men or women to pursue children. The age-gap relationships I am discussing are those that involve two consenting adults. In other words, both individuals must be over the age of eighteen and out of high school. At this point in people’s lives, they are able to process their thoughts and decisions, and dictate their own lives.

Now, when it comes to relationships in general, the business between the two individuals involved is personal to them, not anyone else. Why do people feel the need to step in and make their opinions known when they see a couple that may be over a decade apart? It is still a relationship, and it is still personal to them. Therefore, they deserve the same respect and privacy all other couples receive.

Advice From A Cougar: The Older Woman Younger Man Relationship

A common argument against age-gap relationships is that different phases of life are detrimental to the overall well being of those involved in these relationships. Being in different phases of life can lead to challenges in relationships among these individuals. However, we should leave it up to those involved to decide what works for them, what is right for them and what ultimately makes them the happiest. I think we often forget that we are only given so much time on this planet. If one finds themselves deeply in love with a person, regardless of the difference in age between them, who is to say they should not go for it and experience the love and joy that the relationship brings them.

Additionally, our current society does a solid job in advocating for “love is love.” Though this phrase has been traditionally utilized to defend and support homosexual relationships, it should be applied to age-gap relationships. Simply put, if two people are in love, let them bask in it, embrace it and fully experience its depth.

16 Celebrity Women Who Dated Younger Men-Celebrities Dating Older ...

Love is intangible. People do not get to decide when they fall in love or who they are going to fall in love with. Often, love reveals itself at the most unexpected times, not every time love is realized it is wanted. Again, we do not have a choice when it comes to love and natural human connection. When it happens, it should be appreciated to the fullest extent. As long as neither is experiencing unhealthy or inhibitory consequences of the relationship, then the relationship is fine.

Differences in appearance should not matter. Differences in backgrounds should not matter. Differences in age definitely should not matter. So, next time you come into contact with a couple in an age-gap relationship, swallow the judgement, evaluate why you even feel justified to judge and let people enjoy the people that bring them the most joy.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy my new book, Angel with a Broken Wing on June 20th, on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

Couple With 45-Year Age Gap Defend Their Relationship Despite Backlash From Family

A husband and wife with a 45-year age gap have defended their relationship, asking the world why they should have to hide their love.

Stefani Walper, 25, and her 70-year-old husband Don have been together for five years, and even have a two-year-old son called Lachlan together.

The couple met at the bar Stefani works at, when Don came in to drink with friends.

Speaking to The Mirror, Stefani – from Armstrong in British Columbia, Canada – recalled: “I loved him like the second I saw his face. It was super weird because everyone was like, ‘Oh my God, this guy’s like, at least 30 years older’.

“I just thought he was so handsome and he was charming and super flirty. And, I don’t know, it just made me happy every time he came in.”

 

Stef, 25, and Don, 70. Credit: Jiri Bakala/Barcroft Media via Getty Images
Stef, 25, and Don, 70. Credit: Jiri Bakala/Barcroft Media via Getty Images

Don eventually asked her out for drinks, and the rest is history – although that’s not to say it’s been plain-sailing ever since.

Stefani, who was just 20 when she first met Don, who is the same age as her late father, said most of her family have been unhappy about the unusual match.

She explained: “My mom was not a fan at all, my dad was not a fan, my brother was absolutely not a fan as well. So nobody was really on Don’s team.

“I had just turned 20, like just. So I think for my side of the family, they were a little bit like, ‘Whoa, what are you doing?’ They thought I was making a mistake, I got myself into a situation.”

By the time the two married a year and a half ago, Stefani’s family had thankfully warmed to Don, but the couple admitted they still get odd looks when in public.

Don said: “People on the street, they do that second take or third take or whatever it is or make a comment if I have Lachlan out for a walk or something and someone says, ‘oh, grandpa’s got the little boy today’, I don’t even correct them.”

 

Stef, 25, and Don, 70. Credit: Jiri Bakala/Barcroft Media via Getty Images
Stef, 25, and Don, 70. Credit: Jiri Bakala/Barcroft Media via Getty Images

But they refuse to let strangers’ judgement hold them back, with Stefani adding: “We choose, I guess, not to hide our relationship because why would you hide yours? Would anybody hide their relationship?”

She continued: “People always told me: ‘I’ll pray for you, like you’re in a really scary situation, he’s gaslighting you, he’s grooming you, you need to talk to somebody and get help and get out; like you’re in a really toxic relationship’.

“And I was like, all right, so here’s a guy who puts gas in my car when he’s got it, puts gas in our car, he brings me home flowers, he puts cute little sticky notes on my mirror, he rubs my feet or my back every night after work.”

It’s a sentiment Don shares, saying he doesn’t think they should worry about anything other than each other and their son.

He added: “I don’t think we have to prove it, we just show them by living your life the best you can and raise our son the best we can.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy the book, Phicklephilly now available on Amazon!

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly       Facebook: phicklephilly     Twitter: @phicklephilly

Why Women Find Older Men So Attractive

(That’s yours truly with then Philly TV weather girl, Sheena Parveen!)

 

It seems that there are quite a few women who want to spend their lives with much older men. There is even a special term created for this type of relationship, the May—December romance. It sounds pretty romantic, but some people still look down on couples whose age differs significantly. This happens because they don’t realize that there are amazing reasons why women are attracted to silver foxes.

Now Bright Side knows at least 10 valuable reasons why this happens. And we are going to tell you about them right now.

10. They’re more mature.

It’s common knowledge that women tend to mature earlier than men. That’s why younger guys who are usually at the age where they still want to try different things and explore the world before entering a serious relationship, are just not the right partners for them.

Older men may seem more reliable and attractive to women who are ready for deeper commitments and family. Because these men are more likely to have passed their wild phase and want to settle down.

9. They know stuff.

We all heard that with age comes great wisdom. But there is also an ending of this saying, “but sometimes age comes alone.” It seems that Oscar Wilde was wrong, as studies prove that older men are more intelligent than younger men. And the possible reason is their broader life experience.

Women confirm this finding. They are sure that older men have gone through plenty of life experience that has effectively taught them various lessons. You can see this through their conversations.

8. They know what they want.

Another valuable trait some women highlight is that older men have less mess in their lives — and this means stability. They know exactly what they want, how to get it, and how meaningful it is. That’s why they usually don’t waste anyone’s time playing games. And that’s why they have no barriers when it comes to approaching anyone whose help or advice they need.

7. They’re more financially stable.

Most of women really want to be financially secure. Because when you start a family, you need to make sure that your man has enough money and assets to provide the support you and your kids need. And this is where older men are usually ahead of the game.

An average Joe in his late 20s tends to have fewer assets and less savings compared to older men. Younger guys still have to develop themselves and their careers. They’re looking for financial opportunities, and family is not something they care about in the first place.

6. They are partners.

Mature love is about patience, care, trust, and sometimes independence rather than anything else. But youth is known by its “all-or-nothing” mindset, storms of feelings, and standing ground. If there is at least one person who is wisely ready to take a back seat or at least to initiate the discussion of issues, there is hope for the relationship to last.

That’s why women appreciate when their men are able to be partners and not someone who wants to make the world revolve around him. Women do not need to be told what to do or even “allowed” to do something. Being equal is the thing that actually matters.

5. They have no problem with helping women around the house.

Women do need help with their household chores, and it seems that older men have less biases when it comes to this point. We can see this in a lot of comments from women on Reddit, they say that their older significant others never claimed that household chores were only a woman’s job. For example, some men do the dishes after meals or even wash their own clothes. Of course, it doesn’t mean that they have to do it all the time, but they can be helpful when there is a need.

4. They know how to treat women.

It seems that women appreciate all the relationship experience older men might have had. And it is no wonder since they really have had enough time to develop and practice their skills for treating women right.

The knowledge of what makes love fail or go on gives them a bit of advantage. They understand what women usually need and what will make them happy. They know how to avoid (or at least try to avoid) the same problems they have already been through. And this makes the relationship that much easier.

Older men have a unique attractiveness that triggers something in women. First of all, it’s in their appearance — noble wrinkles around their eyes, salt and pepper hair, light stubble in some of them. They also have their own way of presenting themselves, and women like the way they act, laugh, and behave. They stand out thanks to their unique sense of style because they don’t usually follow fashion trends as closely as college aged boys.

2. They don’t seek out drama.

Let’s face it, women are pretty emotional creatures. They can easily exaggerate things and act without thinking. That’s why it is important for them to have men who are able to make them stop and breathe. And it appears that older men tend to have this skill.

We believe that they just don’t look for any drama or conflict anymore. They prefer not to argue over ordinary problems. And even if there is an issue they can sit down and talk it out like adults and come up with a solution that will be beneficial for all parties.

1. They provide a feeling of security.

Some women mentioned security in their comments, and we can’t omit this point either. In fact, security is one of our basic needs, according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. And what can make women secure and comfortable in their everyday lives? We believe that all the things we’ve discussed above can do this.

You need money and other assets to be financially secure. You need a reliable partner to spend your life with. And you need to know where your life is going. It seems that older men are better able to provide all of these things and make us feel safe.

Do you find older men attractive? Why do you like them?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

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Expectations vs. Reality: Dating Somebody Older Than You

It sounds good in theory. After years of toiling in the shallow end of the dating pool, the idea of going out with an older (and presumably more mature) person seems enticing. The media doesn’t help this notion. Movies and television shows have gone to great lengths to portray May-December relationships as the holy grail. Whether it’s films like The Graduate or Wedding Crashers, or even songs on the radio (yes, Stacy’s mom has got it goin’ on), the idea of dating somebody older has constantly been portrayed as a mystical, passionate opportunity you’d be a fool to miss out on. In reality, these relationships are more complicated than you might assume. These are the expectations and realities of dating somebody older than you.

Photo Credit: CBS Studios

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Expectation: Older Means Wiser and More Mature

Reality: Older Means Same Maturity and Fewer Excuses

Expectations say that when somebody is dating a person who is older than them, usually the older person will be the more mature of the two. In reality, this is hardly the case. Most of the time, older people will date younger people because of their own immaturity. Have you ever heard the idea that girls mature faster than boys? It’s true and these relationships are proof of that.

Expectation: Spending All Day in Bed in the Throes of Passion

Reality: Spending All Day in Bed….Period

It’s an old joke. Dating somebody who is older (aka a “cougar”) results in lots of great sex, right? That’s what all the movies and television shows say. Unfortunately for our hormonally-charged friends, this is rarely the case. Yes, older people like sex just as much as younger people do, but it’s not their lifeblood. There’s no magic trick one develops as they grow older that makes sex better. They might become less selfish, for sure. But that’s the only “trick” there is.

If you find yourself spending an exorbitant amount of time in bed, it’s probably because you’re both too tired to do anything but binge Netflix shows or Lifetime movies.

Expectation: A Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous

Reality: Nobody Can Even Retire Anymore

Our economy kind of sucks right now. The idea of “marrying for money” isn’t totally obsolete (yet), but it’s not as easy as the movies make it out to be. Very few people are actually super rich. The assumption that younger people marry older people for the money is not necessarily the case. Many of the older people in a relationship can’t even afford to properly retire these days, so those who date older people likely do so out of love.

Expectation: Trophy Dates and Gala Events

Reality: Local Bars and Passing Judgment

We’ve all seen this scene, or something like it: Anna Nicole Smith pushing her wheelchair-bound husband down a red carpet, or Ashton Kutcher sharing a kiss with Demi Moore at a movie premiere. Younger people at the arm of somebody older makes for an unusual but extremely photogenic moment.

Unfortunately, for most of us, it’s not red carpets or fashion shows that serve as our evening’s entertainment. Most of the time, it’s a local bar and the lights are dim and nobody actually even really cares.

And that’s the biggest reality check we can take from these relationships: nobody actually cares. So feel free to love who you want.

 

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How to Deal With Being in a Relationship With an Older Guy

All relationships have advantages and pitfalls. May-September relationships (where the man is significantly older than the woman, usually by at least a generation) have their special challenges. Knowing what to expect can make the difference in the relationship.

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    Determine why you are choosing someone older as a relationship partner.

    • Sometimes the relationship is a superficial one, based upon the man’s financial situation. This stereotype is seen often in the media, and therefore makes people immediately think that if you’re with an older man, it’s because of his money.
    • Other women prefer much older men because they are attracted to the knowledge, experience and/or wisdom that comes with those years.
    • Still other women prefer older men, but only if they appear to be younger than they are. This helps negate some of the “gold digger” comments.
    • Still other women choose older men because they had an unhappy or nonexistent relationship with their father, and are trying to fill that hole they feel in their lives.
    • Other women have a “caretaker” instinct that draws them to older men who genuinely care and appreciate their kindness.
    • There are also women who are sexually attracted to men with wrinkles and gray hair.
    • Older men tend to be more grateful for their relationship with someone younger, and are somewhat less likely to cheat.
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    Realize that you’ll have to deal with prejudice.

    • You’ll be mistaken for the man’s daughter or granddaughter on occasion.
    • Prepare to hear people humming “You’re Sixteen” and “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” near you.
    • Some friends will immediately think your boyfriend is creepy and will think you crazy for dating this man. You may have to convince them of his good qualities.
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    If the relationship would be an illegal one, strongly consider the consequences.

    • This means that if you’re under 18, you could be subjecting the person you want to date to possible criminal charges. Even your consent is not enough to overcome statutory rape. It is in the man’s interest that you keep the relationship platonic until a romantic relationship is legal.
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    Remember to include your boyfriend in some of your activities, and let him know that he’s welcome to include you in some of his activities.

    • This will help people see that you two are not just a “secret” embarrassing item, but that you two actually do have a relationship built upon attraction, respect, trust, and shared experiences.
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    Think about the future, especially if you consider marriage.

    • If you want to start a family. An older parent isn’t necessarily a bad thing … children are born to parents who are in their 40s.
    • If you’re in a March-November relationship instead of a May-September relationship (a 2-generation difference) then you need to prepare for the very real possibility that you will outlive your partner while you are still young or early middle-aged. Be sure end-of-life concerns are taken care of for your partner, and that you are emotionally ready for the stress: both during the relationship and after.
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    If you two really do love each other for the right reasons, most people will eventually accept your relationship. Those who don’t either can’t see past their prejudices or don’t care about your happiness.

 

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Cherie – Chapter 9 – Misconduct on your Birthday

“You’re hot like coffee, but sweet like chocolate”

The Wednesday before her 27th birthday arrives. The day before I had called my friend Keila, who is great at all things party and presents. I tell her my dilemma in regard to what I could get Cherie for her birthday. She offers some good suggestions.

I head to Starbucks. I get in line and ask the guy behind me what’s a good dollar amount for a gift card. He says go with $20 because Starbucks is expensive coffee. I get the card and then head to my next destination.  I walk into the shops at Liberty Place. I know Cherie likes milk chocolate so I scope out a little something of that variety. The girl working is very nice and guides me to a little box of six different kinds of truffles. Looks perfect and I know Cherie will love it. Cherie isn’t expecting anything so it’ll make it even better when I surprise her. I ask the girl if she can wrap it up and she says she can put some fancy birthday ribbon on it. I pay for it and she puts it in a fancy Godiva gift bag with some nice tissue paper around it. She asks me if I want a little card and I agree. It’s blank, which I like. I always have to put my words in cards, none of that store-bought nonsense.

I move out to the center of the mall and sit at a quiet table. I have about 30 minutes to kill so I can get things set up. I write a little witty prose in the card and put her name on the envelope. I slide the Starbucks gift card under the ribbon. Now I’ve got a great little gift for my lady.

I head over to Misconduct restaurant at 18th and JFK Blvd. I’m early, and my favorite hostess is there. (See: Mary – Unexpected Table for Two) I tell her what I’m up to and she’s down. She says she’ll hold the gift under the hostess stand next to her purse and we’ll use a code phrase when I want her to bring it to the table. She also reserves my favorite table, #12.

Cherie is texting me that she’s leaving Temple University. I know it’s going to be a nightmare for her to get down here and park. Septa has recently gone on strike again, and that always causes a great deal of major problems for the city and it’s commuters. There’ll be heavier traffic, little parking on the streets, and full parking lots. I recently spoke with an UBER driver, assuming they would be killing it during the strike, but he said no. There are so many more cars on the streets because everybody has to drive in to the city, that they aren’t getting enough fares fast enough to break even. So even the alternative taxi services are screwed when Septa strikes.

Lunch is at 12:30 but I know that Cherie won’t make it until after 1:00pm with all of this nonsense going on. I’m sitting at my table, sipping my water, looking at my phone, and chatting with the staff. I have my little surprise gift hidden and I don’t care how long it takes her to get down here, I’m just happy I’m going to see her.

She’s texting me and getting frustrated. She doesn’t want to be late, but I assure her I understand and to just be safe. She finally finds parking and says she’ll be there shortly. The server jokes that she thinks I’ve been stood up, or this is all just a lie so I could come in and chat with her and the hostess.

“You work for tips, right?”

She laughs.

Cherie arrives. She looks lovely. Custom fit black leather jacket over what appears to be a burgundy top that is low-cut in the front. As she approaches the table, I stand. Her skirt is short and grey. She is wearing black leather ankle boots. That combination showcases her shapely legs. We hug, but avoid the PDA. (Public Display of Affection) She apologizes for being late and compliments me on my patience as always. I really don’t mind waiting for her. I know she comes from a great distance most of the time. Septa has screwed up the city, and finding parking in center city is brutal. It’s not that she’s recklessly late every time. There are just extenuating circumstances that she’s constantly up against to see me.

So baby gets a pass.

She orders some crazy Cowboy Burger that I’ve never ordered and I get my usual Chicken tenders and a little bowl of mac and cheese to share.

Lunch is lovely, and the conversation and laughter are lively. The staff is on point, and the food is great as always. We get the check, and I give them my card. When the server brings it back for me to sign, I give them the code phrase. “Can you tell me when tea time is?” I didn’t come up with this line, the hostess did. She comes over and places the Godiva bag down on the table. Cherie seems really surprised.

“Happy Birthday, Cher. I know you said you didn’t want anything but me for your birthday, but I had to get you a little something.”

“What’s this? You’re so sweet!” She exclaims.  She’s looking at the candy and Starbucks card, but then goes for the little card with her name on it. Opening it quickly she reads it, and starts smiling. It reads:

“Cherie, You’re hot like coffee, but sweet like chocolate” Love, Me XO”

“Thank you so much. You didn’t have to do this.” She’s holding the little card. “I like this…”

We leave the restaurant. We’ve been there for about two hours. Her car is parked all the way down at 20th and Bainbridge. A little bit of a hike from Misconduct. She made better time than I thought. We get to the Saab and hop in. Her skirt is riding up a little. Her thighs are tantalizing. Some kissing ensues. But like I said, it’s still light out, and people are walking by, some with strollers. Her window is open, so if I’m smooching her, and I see someone with kids or a stroller approaching in the rearview mirror, I start talking about church or some bible reference. Hoping they see that we are just good christians having a heartfelt conversation about God. But once they are past, I’m back at her.

We both realize, this whole making out in the car is an invitation to the C-Blockers. We know where this relationship is heading like a speeding train. It’s inevitable. Then I get an idea. I tell her to drive. We go a few blocks east and I have her hang a left.

“When you see a parking spot anywhere up here just hop in it.” We find one right in front of a restaurant. Perfect.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see. Trust me. You’ll like it.”

It’s getting dark now. I take her to the tanning salon. We walk up the stairs, but instead of going in, we throw a left and open a door to the space in the front of the building that’s unlocked and un-rented This is the spot where Achilles and I were going to open our spin bike gym. It should have been open for three months by now, but the owner decided to sell the building. That put everything on hold. Sadly, the space still remains empty. The one whole wall is glass from floor to ceiling. Great view of the night street below. People are bustling by and the street is filled with angry motorists, blowing their horns and gridlocked because of the Septa strike. The space is quiet and if feels safe above the street. I kill the ceiling fans, and throw the switch to turn off the overhead lights. Now the space is dark. There’s a leather love seat by the window. I push it across the hardwood floor to the back corner. There’s no way anyone can see us from the street. I text my co-worker and friend, Trish, (See: Trish – The She Wolf) who is next door working at the salon that I am in the empty space out front. I decide it’s better if I stop over with Cherie, and make an appearance.

We go next door. Trish is happy to see us. I introduce Cherie to Trish, and I can see they are hitting it off. I tell Trish that we don’t want to sit in a bar somewhere, so we’re just going to be next door enjoying the view and chilling. We go back to our leather love seat next door. I lock the door behind us. So no one can see us coming to the salon and no one can see us from the street.

The romance ensues. It’s such a great space. if someone said to me a year ago, that I’d be not only working at this salon, but I’d be next door in the space where I was supposed to open a spin bike gym, making out with a beautiful young woman, I’d think they were nuts. But here we were. It all felt so illicit. I knew we weren’t doing anything wrong. The space is empty, it’s 7pm at night, no one can see us, and my buddy Trish knows we’re there.

I have vowed to try to keep these stories PG-13, but the limits are slowly being pushed into R rated territory. I don’t know how I can continue to write this story about Cherie, without including some sort of 18+ warning. But maybe I can share a few things that were said over the next hour or so. (Or I will at least embellish so you get it.)

Cherie: “I like your new jeans. Have you tested the zipper enough?”

Me: What? Ohhhhh…. Who are you, Monica Lewinski?

Me: “Okay, so the top you’re wearing is just a one piece jumpsuit? Do you have to take the whole thing down to use the restroom?”

Cherie: “No. There are two snaps right here at the bottom, see?” *Snap! *Snap!

Me: “So from the eyebrows down…no hair?”

Cherie: “Oh my God… You’re incredible. That feels amazing!

You get the picture. It was just a little preview for the coming days, so to speak. It was like we had been shopping for a car for the last few dates. We took a couple out for a little test drive that night, and were ready to make a purchase the next time we we’re together. It was simply inevitable. We literally couldn’t take it anymore. The great thing was. She’s not much of a drinker, so after all of our dates, I have never had one drop of alcohol or smoked a cigarette around her. I don’t mind, because when I’m with Cherie, I want for nothing but her and her alone. It feels great.

So after that bit of third base activity, we decide to get out of there. I walk her to her car and kiss her goodnight. I’m only a few blocks from my house so I head home. It feels nice to walk in the cool October night and reflect on our passion. Cherie said she wants me for her birthday and I want to grant her wish. I just need to figure where and how I can make that happen.

Cherie and I have reached critical mass and something has to be done.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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