So one day I’m just swiping on the online dating site, Bumble. That’s where if you and someone else are a match, the woman has to go first. She has to start the conversation in 24 hours or the match expires. Women are pretty smart. If they’ve swiped right on you, they’ll probably talk to you. They’ve already read your profile and have decided they’d like to take the next step and get to know you.
I’m just cruising through the site looking for maybe some funny profiles I can include in my ongoing “Tinder Moments” series.
I’m swiping away and suddenly I match up with someone. She’s already chosen me with a right swipe. So I take a look at her profile.
Kimiko is a super hot Asian girl with a lovely face, an amazing body and spectacular hair. She is MODEL pretty. What a stunning find. 5’4″, Japanese, lean slender body, and deadly legs. I wish I could show her real pics here, she’s that pretty.
I cannot look away.
I can’t resist.
What’s still wrong with me?
Why am I doing this? I have a girlfriend I adore that I’ve already cheated on, and within weeks of the end here I go again. (See: Ambria)
But I have to say something here. I just don’t care. Don’t get me wrong. I love Cherie, but I want to do this. Has something died in me? I just don’t have the dopamine love drug in me anymore. Maybe I can just do this because I know I’ll be dying in the next 20 years or sooner. Why not enjoy as many people as I can because you never know when it could all end. Just have all of the love and fun and sex I can before I exit this world. Is it that simple? Just give up and not care anymore. That can’t be right. But I’ve never been more calm and happy. Odd.
If Kimiko looks anything like her photos I’ll be dating an “actress hot” woman if I can find time to see her with all that’s going on in my life right now.
What a beauty.
What if she doesn’t reach out and start the conversation? I’ll never know anything about her because all it says on her profile is the town she lives in and what she does for a living, which is Retail.
I’ll just sit and wait.
But Kimiko does reach out.
Me: Hello Kimiko.
K: “Good Morning.”
Me: “Nice to meet you. What do you like to do when you’re not working?”
That’s one of my classic questions if someone’s profile is virtually blank.
K: I like hiking, walking or just chilling at home. I’m a big fan of music, all different kinds, love live concerts. I’ve been to many concerts.”
Me: “That’s cool. Would you like to meet up for lunch sometime?”
Me: “Do you ever come into Philly?”
K: “I used to live in Philly. I go there a lot. I once lived at 13th and Locust, and then moved to City Ave.”
Me: Ok. Shall we exchange numbers?”
Phicklephilly going in for the early close.
K: Ok my cell is: 856 XXX-XXXX
So we’ll see what happens because I’m super busy right now and this one could fall between the cracks. But she’s super hot and I can’t let her get away. I am driven to close her even if it’s just for drinks or a little dinner. She’s so beautiful I can’t let her get away. I have a girlfriend but I am doing this again. This isn’t how I am or is it?
What if at my age I am so burned out and jaded from the Michelle’s and Annabelle’s I’m just going to get my kicks until I’m dust?
What an insane summer. No one knows about this. I’m navigating this on my own. I love my girlfriend Cherie, I had an affair with Ambria and now I am courting Kimiko for a date.
What am I doing? What am I searching for?
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