Hidden Deal Breakers In Dating You Never Notice Right Away — But Should

While the first weeks (or months) of dating can and should be the fun, carefree stage in which you’re simply learning the dynamics of a potential relationship, they are also crucial in that they can determine overall compatibility. As intense as it sounds, these initial dates can be very telling — especially if you pay attention to hidden deal breakers. And although some signs of trouble can be more obvious — difference in life and relationship goals, negativity, aggression, etc. — some are carefully secreted under the surface, peeking out discreetly and sneakily here and there.

“Red flags are one of the most important things to look out for in dating because they tell you what kind of person you are dealing with,” says Melissa Hobley, the Global CMO at OkCupid. “Women in particular tend to make excuses for red flags — but take these seriously. As the saying goes, ‘When people show you who they are, believe them.'”

That said, the more under-the-radar the issue, the more cause for concern, as these little deal breakers can often manifest into something truly catastrophic if they go unchecked for too long. Hobley offers this example: “Excited about a new person you’re seeing, but he or she seems a bit too concerned about the fact that you have other guy or girl friends? You could be dealing with some serious jealousy issues, so don’t ignore these.”

An example like the one mentioned above can easily fall through the cracks, especially when you’re in the full infatuation phase. You could easily misidentify jealousy for devotion or avid interest. Sometimes this red flag radar doesn’t truly kick until you’ve had a couple bad experiences under your belt. “The more people date, the more they learn about themselves and what they are looking for,” says Hobley. “We know that 66 percent of OkCupid users say they become more specific over time in what they want in a potential partner, and I think it’s equally important to figure out what you don’t want as it is to know what you do.”

So what are some of the more under-the-radar deal breakers you should be wising up to, you ask? Ahead, six major ones that should be detected early on, even in their subtlest states, according to relationship experts.

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Too Eager To Impress

Although it’s natural to want to make the best impression possible on your date or potential partner, you don’t want someone who is inauthentic. “It may be tempting to put on the best face or to tell your dating partner information about you that you think he or she will find impressive,” says Rachel Astarte, psychotherapist, transformational life coach, author, and educator. “Certainly this is something that we don’t want to do, but it’s important to be aware when the person you’re on a date with is doing the same. Pay attention to how eager he or she is to impress you with stories about his or her life. It may be that they are not entirely factual, which you will find out down the line.”

Conversation Monopolizer

There’s nothing better than those long, open talks with the person you’re interested in. You know the ones — the dates that last for hours and you never want to end. However, be aware of the dynamics of your conversation and who is doing all the talking. “Beware of a dating partner who monopolizes the conversation,” says Astarte. “Not only could this be a sign of narcissistic tendencies, but it may indicate low self-esteem, hence the need to control the conversation. Again, we should not have to build ourselves up in order to be liked.”

Piggybacking off the above, lack of empathy can really shine through in these initial conversations. Again, in the haze of lust, you might not notice little flaws in your emotional connection with your date. Try to be aware of how they respond to deeper and more vulnerable discussions. “If you share your emotional distress and they respond in unkind ways then it’s a red flag,” says Dr. Wyatt Fisher, Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Marriage Counselor.

How They Treat Others

Even the most brief interaction can clue you in on someone’s character. Simple manners and kindness can really shine through when you’re out and about … or not. “When you’re going out to eat with the person on a date, pay attention to how they treat your server, bartender, Uber driver, and other folks around you,” says Hobley. “People overlook red flags in these scenarios that become huge issues later on.”

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Flakiness

Amidst the hustle and bustle of life, it’s normal for plans to change, but keep an eye out for chronic inconsistency. If your date is constantly flaking or you’re going too long in-between dates, it could be a warning of things to come. “The proof is in the pursuit,” says Dee Strickland, Certified Dating & Relationship Coach/ Expert. “If your new beau goes missing for days at a time or makes plans with you and bails last minute, or you’re getting stood up with no notice; ditch him or her. This person has no respect for your time. You want a partner that values and appreciates the time you’ve set aside for them.”

Disparaging The Ex

Yes, breakups are difficult, hurtful, and can leave you with a multitude of scars and baggage. However, someone who badmouths their ex openly and extensively could have some character issues that are cause for concern. “Sure, at some point, there may be a safe space created within your relationship to be vulnerable and share past disappointments or hurts caused by an ex, but this is a red flag that should not be ignored early on,” says Strickland. “This type of person usually tends to be an expert at negging (an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or other negative comment to another person to undermine their confidence and increase their need of the manipulator’s approval,) and you will only be signing up to be his next victim.”

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Too Much Too Soon

It’s flattering and typically an easy boost to one’s self-esteem when a person you’re interested in wants to spend as much time with you as possible. However, there is such a thing as jumping in too quickly. “People who commit to quickly — this is exciting at first, but can speak to underlying, problematic issues or even mental health concerns,” says Lauren O’Connell, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a Private Practice in Santa Monica, California. Also, the relationship guru warns against people who get vulnerable too quickly, as it can also reinforce the above point. “Too much too soon — I would be cautious about people who pour out their life story to you on a first date,” she explains.

 

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What Men Want: 7 Traits Men Look For In The Lady Of Their Dreams

For years, we’ve talked about finding the right woman — someone we can ride the waves of life with, who will stand by our side for better or for worse.

As a man, committing to The One is among the most important decisions we make in life; some may even argue it is the most important.

The person you decide to share your world with may help you plan out your life, pick you up when you’re down, and make you a better person just by virtue of being around you. But when you’re in the midst of that process, it’s difficult to know what traits men want when they’re looking for the lady of their dreams. Moreover, do soulmates really exist? Or is the concept of “the one” just an everlasting myth? Shula Melamed, a relationship and well-being coach, previously told Elite Daily that actively looking for your life partner may actually be counterproductive.

“A healthier and more balanced approach might be to understand that there are many people you can connect with, but that they might not all be relationship material because of one reason or another,” Melamed said. “We have many chances in life to meet and connect, it’s just whether or not we allow ourselves the opportunity to do so.”

There’s so much that can go into deciding who to share your life with, so I compiled a list of the qualities to look for whenever you feel a spark with someone new.

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1. They’re Reliable.

When you’re building a life with someone, one of the key tenants of your relationship is trust. The ability to trust someone, to rely on the fact that you’ll be there for each other through the ups and downs, can be crucial in any relationship.

“Reliability is a key factor to look for in a future spouse,” licensed clinical psychotherapist and Love Victory founder Dr. LeslieBeth Wish previously told elite Daily. “If a partner is responsible in regards to work and their finances, and you can depend on them overall, that’s a good indicator they’ll be a quality life partner.”

2. They’re Respectful.

Another foundation aspect of any healthy relationship is mutual respect. If you and your partner struggle to respect each other’s boundaries and bodies, you might not be dating your life partner.

“To find that your partner respects you would be basically them listening and responding when you basically identify them,” Benjamin Ritter, MBA, MPH, EdD, founder of the Breakup Supplement and consultant for Live for Yourself Consulting, previously told Elite Daily. “You go to your partner and you tell them that you need something from them,” and they respond well to it.

3. They’re Supportive.

A relationship is made up of two (or more) individuals with their own dreams, goals, and desires. It’s vital that all members of a partnership are supportive of each other’s intentions in order for everyone to thrive.

“Having an SO that encourages, supports, and helps you to believe in yourself can actually enable you to push through the insecurities or self-doubt, overcome the necessary obstacles, and ultimately, achieve your dreams,” Dr. Wish told elite Daily.

4. They’re your best friend.

If you’re building a life with someone, your relationship will encompass not just the serious stuff, but the silly, trivial, more intimate moments, as well. Dating someone who is not just your partner, but your partner-in-crime can make even the smallest of moments into an adventure.

“True lovers always want to be friends at the base,” Dr. Sherrie Campbell, licensed counselor, psychologist, and marriage and family therapist, previously explained to Elite Daily. “It’s not all about sex. Friendship and playing together help couples stay together.”

Those dating a water sign should know they're hopeless romantics

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5. They listen.

Active listening — not just hearing, but taking in everything your partner is saying and engaging with it — can be a fundamental part of any working relationship, romantic or otherwise.

“An ideal life partner is one who can listen to your concerns without reacting too quickly or strongly as well as tackle any issues without getting defensive,” Dr. Campbell said. “When you have a partner who can hear you out when you’re feeling vulnerable or they have done something you don’t like and they can remain open — that is priceless.”

6. They’re self-aware.

Self-awareness in no way means perfection, but it does imply that both partners are working on themselves individually. Self-awareness can create security, which makes room for vulnerability, communication, and trust.

“For some, it can mean that you are comfortable being your true authentic self,” says Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent relationship therapist in Los Angeles, previously told Elite Daily.

7. They communicate.

Say it with me for the people in the back: Open and honest communication is the foundation of any happy and healthy relationship. If you and your partner are building a life together, it’s crucial that you feel comfortable communicating with each other.

“Hopefully, there is enough trust that you can at least feel secure enough to talk about why you may be feeling insecure in your relationship,” Dr. Gary Brown said. “Sometimes just opening the door can help alleviate some of the anxiety. Other times, you may get confirmation that there are good reasons that one or both of you are feeling insecure. Having these conversations requires a certain degree of trust, vulnerability, openness, and self-awareness.”

Remember: You don’t need a “life partner,” “soulmate,” or “the one” to make you a complete, happy, healthy person. You are enough, all on your own. But if you’re dating someone you love, and you’re wondering if they’re your ever after, look out for these seven traits.

 

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21 Messages To Send Someone You Matched With Months Ago, To Reconnect

Sometimes, you match with a cutie, and before you can even overthink what you’re going to say, you drop a witty first line just to get the conversation rolling. Of course, other times, you match with a cutie, and as you’re drafting your opening message, your Postmates order arrives, your mom calls, and you completely forget to start the convo. You might even be too nervous to ever break the ice! Whatever the case, if you’re thinking about finally hitting up that online meet-cute, these messages to send someone you matched with months ago will make it feel like no time has passed at all.

Although digital messaging can make conversations lighting-fast, there’s nothing wrong with waiting a little while before sending the first message. Whether you weren’t sure what to say at the time or took a little break from the online dating game, reconnecting with an old match can be easier than you may think. From asking about their day to making a joke about meeting online, there are tons of funny and low-key ways to message a match from months ago.

And if you’re looking for some #inspo, here are 21 messages to send an old match to get some new conversations started.

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  1. Going to Trader Joe’s, you need anything?
  2. Hey, I know we connected a while back, but I was just looking through my matches, and you really jumped out at me.
  3. Have you seen *topical movie* yet?!
  4. I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you, my phone died for three months.
  5. Wow, I just woke up from the longest nap ever. How are you doing?!
  6. You’ll never guess what happened to me today.
  7. So, come here often?
  8. *Spotify link* I can’t stop listening to this! What have you been listening to lately?
  9. Has anything exciting happened since we matched?
  10. Not for nothing, but how is it possible that you’ve gone so long without messaging me?
  11. I mean, I’ve been waiting for you to message me, but I guess I’ll get the ball rolling.
  12. This is #random, but were you just at the yoga studio next to the downtown Target?
  13. Should I start this conversation with a bad pickup line or by saying hello?
  14. I’m making the first move with this message, and, honestly, you’re welcome.
  15. I see we’re in a pretty heated game of Who Can Go Longer Without Messaging The Other. I guess I just lost.
  16. Um, if you had the time to match back, how come you’ve never found the time to ask for my number?
  17. I’m not great at starting conversations. Do you want to try?
  18. Hey, I’m deleting this app soon, but you seem really cool! If you want to get a coffee sometime, here’s my number.
  19. So, I guess we’ll tell our kids we matched and never talked until I eventually reached out to you?
  20. So… how’s it going?
  21. How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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3 Texting Signals That Your Partner’s Playing Games, So Hang Up

So much of getting to know someone new can feel like playing games. Whether it’s how long you wait to text each other back or how many exclamation points you add, texting someone new can feel like one big mystery. Once you define the relationship with your partner, it can be relieving to feel like that weird tension is behind you, but that might not always be the case. If you find that they’re still being unnecessarily weird over text, texting signals your partner’s playing games can be glaringly obvious, and have the potential to make anyone feel insecure about their connection.

Turns out, there’s a reason your partner may still be texting you as if you were still dating, and it has more to do with them than it does with you. “If your partner is playing games, it may be a sign of their personal insecurities,” Claudia Cox, relationship coach and founder of Text Weapon, tells Elite Daily. “It’s not about you. It’s not because you aren’t exciting, attractive, or amazing enough. It’s about them and their insecurities.”

According to Cox, if your partner has trust issues or is a self-professed commitment-phobe, playing games may be their way of not getting too connected to you or dealing with their own relationship fears. Although you may love your boo, you never need to put up with shadiness or miscommunication, IRL or on the phone. And if you feel your partner is being dishonest, you might want to communicate your fears to them directly before jumping to any conclusions.

If you’re thinking your partner might be playing games, Cox breaks down the three texting signs to look out for.

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1. It Feels Like They’re Intentionally Not Replying

If you’re constantly waiting to hear back from your partner, or they haven’t replied to you but you know they’re on their phone, it may be time for a check-in. “Not texting or calling you back in a reasonable amount of time, even when they are obviously not busy, is something to look out for,” Cox says. You and your boo may have your own way of talking to each other, but if you’re starting to feel ignored or uncomfortable, it’s always OK to say so.

You and your partner certainly don’t need to be texting every second of every day, but if you’ve been trying to reach them for a week and when you finally hear back, they pretend they haven’t been leaving you on read, it may be time to chat. Cox shares that them dodging you for a while and then hitting you with a “What’s up?” text like nothing happened can also be a sign they’re playing games. “If you find someone being unnecessarily unresponsive, don’t make excuses for their lack of good communication or politeness,” Cox says. “Don’t bother chasing them or over-analyzing their behavior.”

2. They’re Making You Question Yourself

Texting is tricky because you have no idea how someone is saying whatever it is they’re texting you. Although it’s easy to misinterpret a message, if your partner always makes you feel bad about your texts or they completely twist your words around, it may be time to talk IRL.

“Look out for people who create drama by purposefully misinterpreting your texts,” Cox says. “For example, if you send them a sweet, ‘Good morning!’ text message after not hearing from them for a few days and they respond with something passive-aggressive such as, ‘Sorry, I don’t have time to text you every five minutes, I’ve been really busy.'” There’s nothing more frustrating than having your words be misinterpreted. Although needing to clarify something can just mean your partner is confused about your tone, your partner intentionally making you question your words on a regular basis can be a sign you’re not on the same page.

If you and your partner have different texting preferences, try talking in person about the ways you best communicate. You should never have to feel bad for being yourself or expressing your needs. “Stop yourself from being dragged into their manipulative mind games,” Cox says. “At a certain point, it gets boring.”

3. They’re Constantly Talking About Other People

As iconic comedian and general queen Ali Wong will tell you, one of the best parts of having a partner is getting to gossip with them. But if your boo is constantly talking about their ex or generally trying to make you jealous, Cox says that it may be time to check in. Additionally, if your partner is “always being vague about what they are doing or where the relationship is going,” Cox says that can also signal shady behavior.

Ultimately, when you’re trying to build a real connection with someone, and you’re being met with shadiness and vagueness, the best solution is to talk about it. “Sometimes it hurts, but if someone really wants to talk to you, they will,” says Cox. “And if they don’t, they won’t,” Cox says. “You can’t force communication or make someone like you.” If you find yourself questioning your partner’s texting, try talking to them in person about it. You deserve someone who’s going to be straight up with you all the time, IRL and on the phone.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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13 Naughty Ways to Get Out of the Friend Zone In No Time

You’ve just been put into one of the worst places you can be: the friend zone. Here’s what you can do to get out of the friend zone, in no time at all!

Being in the friend zone is one of the hardest places to be—for a lot of reasons. Not only is it a blow to your ego, but you also can’t really show that much emotion about it without looking like a crazy person.

For those of you unfamiliar with the friend zone, lucky you! However, I’ll explain it for you: the friend zone is when the person you have romantic feelings for only thinks of you as a friend. This can often stop someone from expressing their real feelings, and perpetuate a one-sided romantic attraction.

The good thing about the friend zone is that you can be close to the person you like as much as you want. The bad thing is that this person might not even know they just put you in the friend zone, because they don’t know how you really feel!

How you can get out of the friend zone

I’m actually pretty guilty of putting guys in the friend zone without a second thought. BUT, I do have to put some of the blame on them, for not at least trying to get out. If they would have made any sort of effort in telling me how they felt, or pursuing me in any other way, I may have felt differently.

Usually, they seemed happy to be just my friend, and never tried for anything else. It was only later that they started complaining about it. So, we put together a list of ways you can sneak right out of the dreaded friend zone!

#1 Tell them how you feel. They could have put you in the friend zone without even knowing that you have feelings for them—which is NOT their fault. If you’re in the friend zone by default, because you couldn’t muster up the courage to tell them, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Who knows? They could have feelings for you, too.

#2 Show them how you feel. If telling them isn’t an option, because you’re scared, or nervous, or whatever lame excuse you have, show them how you feel. Act like you have feelings for them. Tell them you like their new haircut, or that the color of their shirt makes them look really good. Do things for them that show them you care more than a friend would.

#3 Make them see you in a romantic way. More than likely, you’ve shown them the more intimate side of yourself. Now, I’m not saying to go make out with them, or anything. But make them picture you being someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend.

For example, if they start telling you about how this person’s boyfriend did this, come back by saying, “If I had a boyfriend/girlfriend, this is what I would do.” It gets their mind thinking about the way you’ll treat your significant other.

#4 Don’t let them talk to you as a friend. People don’t talk to their friends like they do to their significant others. If that’s your end game, don’t let them talk to you like you’re their BFF. Don’t let them gossip about other love interests, or complain about them, either. Let them talk about anything BUT significant other problems. They’ll never think of you as a possible boyfriend or girlfriend if they talk to you about those issues—trust me.

#5 Figure out why they only like you as a friend, and fix it. Maybe you only treat them like a friend. Maybe they don’t think you’re that compatible. Whatever it is, there is probably a way to get around it. If they don’t think you’re compatible, for instance, you can make it a point to show them just how compatible the two of you really are.

#6 Make physical contact every now and then. No. I don’t mean go, slap their butt, and tell them they look nice. Not at all. Subtly and nonchalantly make a point to touch them from time to time. Establishing physical contact will make them see that you’re being a little more than friendly.

A great way to do this is to just pat them on the back as you come up behind them, or touch their shoulder when they’ve said something funny. Little things that close the gap between you will move you out of the friend zone.

#7 FLIRT WITH THEM. For the love of all that is holy, FLIRT WITH THEM! One of the only things that can differentiate someone from liking a person as a friend and liking them more than a friend is flirting. If you’re continuously flirting with someone, you will send them a clear message that you like them romantically.

Not only that, but by flirting, you’re also opening up the opportunity for them to flirt back. This is a great way to lightly exchange some fun conversation that isn’t drawing attention to the fact that you’re stuck in the friend zone.

#8 Make them miss you. One thing that happens a lot of the time is that the people who put you in the friend zone don’t realize their own feelings. I have actually been guilty of this, and it was too late for me to have him after he found someone else.

I didn’t realize I felt that way until he was relatively out of my life. So, take a break. Don’t act mad, or anything, but just be busy. Be busy enough that they’re coming to you to hang out or to see what’s up.

#9 Casually compliment them out of nowhere. Perfectly placed compliments can go a long way to get you out of the friend zone. Telling them they look great when they’re wearing grubby clothes shows them that you find them attractive, even when they’re not all done up. They’ll appreciate this.

Compliments can also help, because people ALWAYS feel the need to compliment you back—which means they will be looking for something attractive about you. It’s literally giving them a reason to look at your best attributes.

#10 Surprise them with something subtle, but sweet. Surprising them with something that they wouldn’t expect you to remember is a perfect way for them to see how much you really care, and they will start to care about you because of your kindness.

Try bringing them their favorite cookies *that no one else but you knows they love*. This is a perfect way to sneak even more out of the friend zone!

#11 Do things for them that you would do for a boyfriend/girlfriend. If you really want to get out of the friend zone, then stop acting like you’re in it. Act like they’re your boyfriend or girlfriend. Treat them like you would your significant other, and you’ll be surprised how easily you can slide out of that zone.

#12 Realize that it might not have anything to do with YOU. Sometimes, you may be in the friend zone, simply because they aren’t in a place in their life that they can be dating or having a significant other. If you realize that and back off, they will notice and appreciate that, and then who knows? Maybe down the road, they’ll remember you being understanding, and it’ll make them like you more.

#13 Accept only having friendship. Sometimes, if you really want someone to see you as more than a friend, the best way to do that is to just accept that you can’t have them. This will lead you to forget about how you’re acting, what you’re doing, and you’ll just be yourself. That could really end up changing how that person feels about you.

 

Being in the friend zone doesn’t have to be a permanent sentence. If you’re trying to claw your way out of this dreaded zone, you’ll need these 13 tips to help you get out.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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4 Dating Behaviors That Mean Someone Regrets A Breakup, So Pay Attention

No matter how long you were seeing someone, knowing when to walk away can be confusing. Whether you called it quits after months of fighting or you and your ex were slowly growing apart for a while, ending a relationship is never easy. If you and your boo parted ways super abruptly, or you’re worried you made the wrong choice, knowing how to spot the dating behaviors that mean someone regrets a breakup can come in handy.

I’ll be blunt: Breaking up with someone can be tough. And if you’re starting to second-guess yourself or struggling to embrace single life, you’re certainly not alone. “People often regret breakups because they feel a void which can turn into loneliness,” Breakup BOOST podcast host Trina Leckie tells Elite Daily. “They forget how they felt at the time when they said they wanted the breakup and miss having someone around.” Although listening to Lizzo and doing a face mask in the tub can help, sometimes the only cure for a broken heart is giving yourself time and space to really heal.

And if you’re starting to think that you or your ex made the wrong choice, Leckie shares some signs to look out for.

1. Sending Gifts Or Flowers

According to Leckie, if someone sends you flowers or gifts after letting you go, it may be their way of saying they think they were wrong. While presents can be super thoughtful, if you’re not feeling your ex, you don’t have to get back together with them, no matter what they buy you. Of course, if losing you made them snap into shape and you want to give it another try, you know what’s best for you when trying to move on.

2. Comparing New Dates To An Ex

If you’re regretting calling it quits, Leckie shares that you may start to idealize what your past relationship looked like. Whether you just broke up last night or you walked away a few months ago, it’s natural to get a little nostalgic from time to time. However, if you’re starting to compare all your new dates to your ex or you’re convinced that you’ll never fall in love again, Leckie shares that you may be regretting the breakup.

“Remember that in most cases, you are missing a feeling that you had during the happier times of the relationship vs. missing the actual person,” Leckie says. “It’s best to stay focused on why the breakup happened instead of the happy memories. Those same problems are still going to be there if you decide you want to give the relationship another chance.”

3. Still Reaching Out To An Ex

Listen, everyone is different. Some people like to stay friends with their exes. Some people prefer to cut ties completely. While there’s no one rule about how or when to communicate with your ex, Leckie shares that continuing to reach out to an ex, especially after they’ve told you that they’d like some space, probably means that you’re regretting your breakup. (It also probably means that you may want to respect their boundaries and wait for them to reach out to you.)

Of course, if you and your ex are on speaking terms, expressing your apologies may be healing for the both of you. “If the breakup happened from overreacting over something quite trivial, you could reach out to your ex to talk about it — ideally in person,” Leckie says. “You can then apologize and explain your thought process at the time and ask them if they would be interested in giving the relationship another shot.”

4. Constantly Talking About An Ex

Although talking about your feelings is an important thing, if you find yourself only talking about your ex or how to get back together with your ex, Leckie attests that you probably regret letting them go.

“Venting to others about the breakup, asking others for advice as to how to get their ex back. Googling “How to get my ex back,” Leckie says.

Additionally, Leckie shares that keeping tabs on your ex’s social media or replaying the breakup in your head may mean that you’re regretting calling it quits. While healing can take its own form, if you’re feeling like you need some space to heal, taking a social media break or unfollowing your ex for a minute may help you clear your head.

Dealing with a breakup is never easy. Whether you called it quits and now are starting to regret it or you’re struggling to get your single-life bearings, it’s natural to wonder if you made the right choice. Of course, the best way to handle a breakup is to do what feels right for you. From wanting to get back together to wishing your ex would move to Mars, living your truth is nothing to regret.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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How to Kiss a Friend Accidentally and Get Away with It

Ever been tempted to kiss a friend? While it’s alright to get attracted to a friend, it’s not always the safest bet to make a move. Find out how to kiss a friend and get away with it!

Kissing a friend is a tempting proposition. But unless it’s a mutual desire, it’s best to stay away from such complications. But if you really do want to get frisky with a pal, here’s your guide on how to kiss a friend, the easy way.

It’s sneaky, but hey, if sexual desire matters more than friendship to you, why not give this a go?

How to kiss a friend

Have you ever tried to kiss a friend? In most cases, it just doesn’t work out.

Your friend may be shocked, surprised, or may want to stay away from you.

But if you really do like a friend and want to take it further down the path of love, then this piece on kissing a friend may not be appropriate for you.

But on the other hand, if you just want know how to kiss a friend, and then worry about your mixed feelings later, this may be the easiest way forward.

There are a few times when you can kiss a friend and get away with it, and a few other times when it’s just completely inappropriate to kiss a friend.

Firstly we’ll get to the five ways by which you could kiss a friend out of the blue, with no preamble or even a hint that you’re attracted to your friend.

#1 Kissing a friend when you’re drunk

This is pretty much the safest way to kiss a friend and get away with it. And let’s face it, more than half the first kisses between friends use this move. When you’re out with this friend you like or at a party, have a few drinks and wait for the booze to kick in. And once you’re feeling the buzz, use that as the perfect accidental excuse. Try and get the coziest spot next to your friend, preferably an isolated spot.

Start a conversation with your friend and eventually start whispering to your friend. Of course, you’re *drunk*, aren’t you? Whispering into each other’s ears is completely acceptable when you’re high!

And at some point of the conversation in between all the close facial contact, go right up and kiss your friend. The kiss may last a while longer if you’ve built a lot of sexual chemistry through all the body contact, but even if your friend’s not drunk, you’d still be able to sneak in a quick kiss. And your friend can’t really get upset or do anything about it, after all, you’re drunk out of your mind!

#2 Playing truth or dare

Kissing a friend doesn’t come easier than this. So if you’re ever trying to figure how to kiss a friend, focus on arranging a drinking game like spin the bottle or truth or dare.

Sometimes, you may get a kiss or a lot more than that. But at other times, you may not always end up lucky and another friend may end up kissing the friend you want to kiss. But not to worry, if you didn’t get a chance to kiss your friend during the game, just get drunk and go back to step #1!

#3 Kiss your friend when they’re consoling you

This is a sneaky move, and it’s another common ploy in getting to kiss a friend. Many people use this, and quite frankly, it works very well.

Have you just lost something of value and need some consoling? Everyone needs a friend they’re down and need consoling. So call the friend you like and tell them how *depressed* you are and how much you’d appreciate it if they could come over to your place to cheer you up.

When your friend comes by to your place, snuggle up and hug your friend. Just stay in that position as you mumble your sorry ass story and explain how depressed you are. At some point, you’d know that your friend’s pretty comfortable with the hug too. Now you can linger your hands on their back or go straight for the kiss. The kiss may last a while, or a few seconds. But if it does last, the kiss could lead both of you into bed and even go a lot further.

On the other hand, if your friend does take offense, you could apologize profusely and tell your friend you didn’t know what came over you. Yeah right, you effing perv!

#4 Accidentally kiss your friend

Now if you want to know the dirt on how to kiss a friend while trying this, you won’t be able to get a big, wet kiss using this move. But on the upside, your friend can never really point their finger at you, or even remotely accuse you.

So you’ve been clubbing recently? You know how hard you have to shout to be heard over the blaring speakers, don’t you? Almost always, two people who want to have a conversation have to stick their faces together to be heard. If you create an opportunity to create a quick successive series of questions and answers, you can move your face across when your friend’s yelling into your ear, and hey, guess what you just did, you kissed your friend!

How to kiss a friend accidentally conversation tip:

You: Hey, I’m going to get a drink, you want one too?!

Friend: Yeah!

You: What?!

Friend: Yeah, I’ll have one too!

You: What do you want to have?!

Friend: A beer!

You: What?!

Friend: A beeer!!

You: Why don’t you have a Hawaiian Volcano?

Friend: A Hawaiian wha….

You: A hawaiian vol… ummh!

Oops!! *Grin*

Now this works well even in a movie theater, and it’s sneaky, isn’t it? And an improvisation of this kiss is when you both are hugging and kissing each other goodbye. Turn your cheek in ever so slightly when your friend’s about to kiss you goodbye, and viola!

#5 How to kiss a friend via text flirting

Now this is a safe way to kiss your friend. It involves a lot of late night texts which eventually lead to sizzling sexual chemistry between both of you. It’s almost always foolproof as long as you take your time and play it cool. Get this easy step right, and you’re definitely going to do a lot more than kiss your friend. Get this wrong, and it’s still safe for you!

Times when you just shouldn’t kiss a friend

Now that you know the best tips on how to kiss a friend sneakily and avoid any complications, perhaps it’s time to know the times when you should never really kiss a friend.

#1 When they’re being touchy feely

Look, friends can be touchy feely or every flirty at times. But that’s just not enough of a reason to kiss a friend. Unless the vibes are just right, don’t kiss your friend just because they’re cuddling up or holding your hands. It’s risky and can cost you your friendship and the intimacy.

#2 When your friend’s asleep

This is an absolute no-no. As tempting as a sleeping friend can look, you just can’t kiss a friend when they’re asleep even if you’re drunk. There’s every chance that your friend may wake up and think you’re an absolute pervert! And your other friends will have the same opinion too.

#3 When your friend’s hung over

This kind of a situation may work in a porno flick and it’s a great fantasy too, but it’s just not something you should ever do. You may be really desperate or may have been looking for an opportunity like this since forever, but just don’t do it. There are far easier ways, so why bother with this. It’s just really perverse, and you just can’t take advantage of a friend who trusts your company.

An opportunity may crop up some other day, but never kiss a friend if you find yourself in such a situation. Respect your friend and yourself, because if you do take advantage of a drunk friend, that makes you no different than a rapist.

#4 When your friend is grieving

Now it’s natural to feel physically and emotionally connected when you’re hugging a grieving friend, but don’t use the closure and take advantage of the situation. If your friend makes the first move, then go right ahead. But if your friend just wants a shoulder to lean on at a difficult time, be there for your friend as a friend, not a lusty buddy.

So the next time you’re wondering how to kiss a friend, look no further. This is as foolproof as it can get, especially when you’re trying to get away with kissing a friend!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

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