30 Cute Ways to Make the Woman You Love Smile

Give these fun, creative and cheap ideas a try!

If you want to know how to be romantic and make a woman feel truly happy, it’s probably not as hard as you think. Unfortunately, many men still seem to struggle when it comes to knowing how to please a woman and make her smile.

If you’re attracted to a woman and you’re developing strong feelings for her, you’ve simply got to find way to let her know what’s going on in your mind and heart.

And what better way could there possibly be than coming up with some creative, sweet and fun ideas of things you can say or do for your girlfriend that will make her smile whenever she thinks of you?

We’ve made this list of sweet ideas to help guys figure out how to make a girl smile (which means you now have no excuse, gentlemen).

Here are 30 cute, fun and super cheap things to say or do for your girlfriend that are bound to make her thing you’re the most romantic guy on Earth.

1. Send her a cute goodnight text while she’s sleeping so she wakes up with a smile on her face.

2. Call her beautiful, instead of pretty or cute.

3. Buy her nice things.

4. Make sure she knows that you’re afraid to lose her.

5. Treat her the same around your friends as you would when you’re alone.

6. Be there when she needs you.

7. Have a date planned out so all she has to do is look good and show up.

8. Randomly send her a text saying you’re thinking about her.

9. While out, introduce her to the people that matter to you. Make sure she knows who they are and vice versa.

10. Make her a priority, not an option.

11. Spend the night watching movies and cuddling instead of going out with the guys.

12. During a date, help her with her coat. Pull out her chair. Open the door for her. Let her order her food first. Stay off your phone.

13. Back down in an argument, even though she may be wrong.

14. Ask her if she’s lost weight.

15. Respect her. Respect her family. Respect her friends. Respect her morals.

16. Slow dance with her even if there’s no music.

17. Sneak up behind her, hold her around her waist, kiss her softly on the neck and tell her you love her.

18. Support her ambition and love her flaws.

19. Walk into a room full of temptation and stay faithful.

20. Give her your hoodie when she’s cold.

21. Make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world.

22. Fight for her when she’s ready to give up, and hold her tight when she’s at her weakest.

23. Never let others influence anything when it comes to her. She wants you to be the reasoning for your actions.

24. Hold her tight in public just to show people that you’re proud to have someone like her.

25. Always take the first step. Don’t wait for her to start everything.

26. Bring her roses or flowers for no reason at all, not just when you’re in trouble or on Valentine’s Day.

27. Offer to give her a massage: foot, back, neck, shoulder, the whole body.

28. Avoid responding with “OK” or any short answer that makes it sound like you weren’t listening.

29. Save a photo of her as your phone background. That way she’ll know you’re thinking of her every time you look at your phone.

30. Promise never to let her go, and keep that promise.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Annoying Things Men Do That Women Misinterpret

One from one of my female readers…

One of the beautiful things about having been with and lived with a man for a long time now is that I’ve gotten an insight into the male mind. I haven’t just learned about the way my boyfriend thinks, but I’ve also learned about the way his friends think. Since I’ve been with my guy for so long now, and his friends come over all of the time, his buddies have started to see me as a safe person to open up to. They’ve put their guards down. They know I’m not going to go running to the women they’re dating and reveal their deepest most vulnerable secrets. They know I’m on their side. I’m a confidante. And, through that, I’ve finally come to understand certain male actions and words that, as a single woman, I totally didn’t get. It turns out some of the things some men do aren’t as bad as we think. I said some of the things that some men do—just to be clear. Here are things men do that women often misinterpret.

Cancelling after a bad day

In the early stages of my relationship, after a very bad day, my boyfriend would just cancel our plans to see each other and ask if we could reschedule. It would upset me—I’d think ,“Why won’t he let me be there for him? Is he trying to keep an emotional distance?”

They want to protect you

My boyfriend finally explained that he just tries to protect me from his bad moods. After a crappy day, he’s worried that he won’t be able to contain his angst and may accidentally be short with me or cold towards me. He’d rather just hide away until he can be his best self. He would, of course, love my comfort and company but he also knows it could be selfish, since he may just be a jerk.

Turning down sex

The first time my boyfriend turned down sex, I panicked. Big time. I thought, “This is it. It’s over. This was just a fling. The chemistry is gone and we have nothing else!” (Yes, I was a bit dramatic). But, I thought for sure, “Men always want to have sex so if he says no, he’s just not into me anymore. Period.”

They can feel emotionally distant

So, it turns out that men don’t always want to have sex. If they’re going through something difficult, they feel emotionally removed from their partners. When my partner is under a lot of stress, he doesn’t want to have sex because he feels weird/bad about being physically close to me when he knows he’s so mentally far away. He says it feels like a lie. That is actually rather considerate, when you think about it.

Not texting; then calling

It used to drive me crazy that I’d send my partner several texts throughout the day to which he would not respond, and then he’d just call me, saying nothing about my texts. “Is he trying to send me some message that he doesn’t want my texting him?” I wondered.

They’d rather call when they can be present

Men are just not as good at texting as women are. Men don’t like texting as much as women do. My boyfriend does, however, like receiving my texts—they make him smile, he says. But he’s not great at formulating the type of response my text deserves, in the little time he has to text. He’d rather just wait to talk until he can call me at the end of the day and be fully present.

Keeping certain friends away

There are some friends that my boyfriend kept away from me for the first couple years of us dating. I thought this was some way of him keeping a distance from me—a way of keeping our relationship casual. I also wondered if he just totally misbehaves himself with these friends, like they’re bad influences.

They don’t want us to be insulted

I eventually learned that my boyfriend can behave himself around these friends but they are, truth be told, his more, errr, brute-ish friends. They say and do things that might gross me out. He’s known them forever, and finds them endearing, but he also doesn’t want them accidentally insulting me.

Asking to watch TV instead of talk

At the end of the day, sometimes my boyfriend cuts me off when I’m asking lots of questions and says, “Is it okay if we just watch TV?” It was hard for me to not be insulted at first. Is that his way of saying I talk too much?

They’re just burnt out

Sometimes, men—and women—are just too burnt out at the end of the day to carry on a good conversation. They feel bad just pretending to engage in a conversation with someone they love, and would rather just watch television, and re-fuel for another time when they’re excited to talk.

Skipping our friend’s bday

Skipping a friend’s birthday, skipping a bar crawl, or skipping other social occasions with my friends is something my boyfriend does from time to time. I used to think it meant he just didn’t care about my friends.

They need to save money

I eventually learned that, the issue wasn’t necessarily that my boyfriend didn’t like my friends. My man was just trying to save money, and was too proud to tell me that. Whoops.

Not talking about their day at work

To me, exchanging stories about our day is a part of bonding. But sometimes my boyfriend says he would just rather not talk about his day at work. At first, I thought, “Well, that’s a pretty big part of your day. It’s weird you don’t want to share it with me.”

They don’t want our pity

It turns out that my boyfriend just has some things happen at work that he worries would make me sad. He’s had bosses and colleagues that haven’t spoken to him nicely or just generally gone through some rough situations. He didn’t want my pity, so he thought it was better to just not discuss his work.

Doing a 180 on feelings

Almost every one of my guy’s best friends—and my guy did this too—did a total 180 on their feelings for a woman. What I mean is that they were very reserved, cool, and holding back. You wouldn’t think they even liked the woman. And then suddenly, they were all in.

They were gathering information

Men and women develop feelings at very different paces. I feel like women are more comfortable with allowing their feelings to just naturally occur. Men, however, hoard their emotions until they’ve gathered enough information on a woman to feel safe showing all their emotions.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Kita – Chapter 38 – Second Date – Xmas – Part 2

Somehow the subject of sugar babies comes up. I may have been talking about a couple of girls I have spoken to in the salon and they have told me about their exploits. I obviously don’t speak graphically about it. It just sort of came up. She finds the idea of girls doing that revolting and has too much self esteem and virtue. She said she could never do that.

(Isn’t it sort of happening between us?)

We start chatting about how excited she is to go to Florida for the winter break. She loves the warmth of the temperature down there. She misses her dog Sadie and can’t wait to drive around in her Jeep. She tells me she’ll probably just rest, workout, try to eat better, walk her dog, and cruise around in her jeep. She misses driving!

Best part is, she won’t have to do any studying, write any papers, or go to any classes. Just fun in the sun. She will probably be as brown as a penny when she comes back to Philly in a month.

Funny thing is, I don’t hear about anything else. I know she likes tanning and getting dark. I know she likes to eat and digs snacks. She says her mom loves snacks too. Her mother once went looking for snacks in Kita’s room and discovered some condoms. I love the idea of Kita having condoms. (Just suiting up with a condom before plunging into her.)

But I digress…

She works out everyday. I guess what I’m saying here is, Kita is going to do exactly what she does up here as she’ll do down there. I didn’t hear anything about friends or going out or anything.

I think our lovely little Kita may be a bit of a bore. I think I see how a man could tire of her once he’s had sex with her. What do you do with her? She’s very indecisive, needy, sober, etc. Not very fun.

But here’s the thing. I’m attracted to her. I’ve never had her. I want her. She’s adorable and spends time with me. That’s pretty nice for me.

I’ll just keep writing about her until I figure it all out.

 

Near the end of the meal I ask her a question.

“Kita, I like you and enjoy your company. I appreciate you joining me for lunch today. I’d like to meet up with you and see you outside of the salon again. It can be food or we can go to Dave & Busters like we talked about that. I’d like us to do that on a regular basis. Would you like that?”

“Yes. Yes, we can definitely do that. I’d like that.”

That’s all I needed.

The bill comes, and of course I am delighted to pay. She loved her Salmon salad, and polished off the last of the mac and cheese I got for us to split. I liked when she picked up the spoon and dug the last dollop out of the bowl and put it in her sweet mouth.

 

She’s summoning her UBER and it’s rapidly approaching. We get ourselves together and head outside into the winter afternoon sunlight. She has to go write a paper for her finals, and I have to get to the salon.

“Oh it’s here! Gimme kiss!”

I take her lovely visage in my hands and peck her plump lips, and she’s off.

I start walking east on JFK Blvd. and light a cigarette. I reflect on the day and my relationship with Kita.

I buy special snacks and fruit for her. I always have a little something there for her to munch on. I give her free water to fill up her water bottle. I took her out to a posh dinner. I bought her a special bronzing lotion to better tan her. I bought her pepper spray and showed her how to use it to help keep her safe in the city. Now I’ve taken her out to lunch and discussing future dates and activities for us to do together.

 

Oh my God.

 

Kita is my sugarbaby!

 

 

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Are We Just Friends or Is He Interested? 16 Signs to Read His Mind

If you *and everyone else* are asking: are we just friends or is he interested? You need to know, and I am here to help you know the difference.

Are we just friends or is he interested, is probably one of the most popular questions I am asked. Most women are trying to figure out whether or not a guy is interested or just a friend.

What can I tell you? Sometimes, it’s easy to spot the signs. Other guys are tricky and like figuring out a Rubik’s cube. Who has the time for that?

Sure, you have amazing chemistry, and the conversation blows your mind. But you don’t really know what’s going on between you.

How to answer the conundrum: Are we just friends or is he interested?

The best way to figure it out? Ask him. I know it’s not the easiest thing to do, but you’ll have your answer. Maybe not the one you were looking for, but at least it’s an answer.

On the other hand, I know you may not be ready to make that move, and I get it. So, look at the signs instead. It takes longer, but you’ll figure out what’s going on.

It’s time to finally answer the question – are we just friends or is he interested? That way, you’ll know what to do. Let’s quit the game playing and find out the truth.

#1 Just a friend: He’s never jealous. I know I’ve said jealousy is an ugly trait and when it becomes extreme, it is. However, it’s always a way to see whether or not someone is attracted to you. If this guy doesn’t even bat an eye when you’re talking about other guys or when you go on a date, it’s clear he only sees you as a friend.

#2 He’s interested: he asks you out on a date. If he’s interested in you, his main goal is to take the friendship to the next level. He doesn’t want to be your friend, he wants more. So, he’ll ask you out on a date and see your response.

It’s a bold move, but he’s tired of waiting on the sideline. If he asks you out, he’s not looking for friendship.

#3 Just a friend: You’re like his sister. If he’s openly and publicly told people you’re like his sister, well, then it’s safe to say you are just friends.

No guy would say that publicly if they were truly interested in someone. That would let everyone else know they could make a move on you. Think of it like this, it’s the same as calling him your brother.

#4 Just a friend: He tries to hook you up with his friends. If he was interested in you, he would never try to set you up with his friends. It just doesn’t make sense. If he’s into you, he’ll do whatever it takes to avoid you and his friends from hooking up. But if he’s happy and willing to set you up with his friends, then it looks like that’s what you are, a friend.

#5 He’s interested: He’s touchy. Naturally, every guy is different, but usually, when a guy is interested in someone, they become more touchy. He may touch your shoulder or your lower back when you’re walking through a doorway. These are small and subtle moves, yet, they’re clues into how he feels about you.

#6 He’s interested: He’s always around. When we like someone, we want to spend as much time with them as possible. With him, it seems as if he’s always around. Whether a weekday or weekend, he pops by your place to hang out before work or meet up with you when you’re shopping at the mall. His main goal is to spend as much time with you as possible. 

#7 Just a friend: There’s no flirting. And no, you sneezing and him getting you a tissue isn’t flirting. If you feel more like brother and sister than anything else, it’s safe to say there’s not much going on in the romance department. If you’ve flirted with him and he’s clearly uncomfortable, he’s not into you.

#8 Just a friend: He’s awkward when people think you’re a couple. The minute someone asks you if you are a couple, you can feel him getting weird. He’ll step away from you and make this face. I know, really mature. If he did like you, he would make some joke and seem really happy as he weighs your reaction.

#9 He’s interested: He texts you a lot. He doesn’t text you once in a while, he texts you all the time. Whether it’s a meme or YouTube clip, he’s always texting you, making sure you stay connected. You may notice he uses winky and kissy emojis as well. Guys don’t really use emojis, so it’s a pretty good sign he likes you. 

#10  He’s interested: He wants to hang out one-on-one. Maybe he doesn’t like to hang out in large groups, but let’s get real. If he’s pushing to hang out one-on-one, it’s probably because he wants to spend alone time with you. If you’re into him, then keep these hangouts going, eventually, they’ll progress into more.

#11 Just a friend: He mentions people he’s into. Yeah, this isn’t a great sign. Usually, if a guy is into you, they never bring up other people. But if he’s just a friend, he’ll bring up other people he’s interested in without hesitation. Why would he hide it from you? It’s not like he’s interested in you. I know, it stings, but it’s the truth.

#12 He’s interested: He’s all over your social media. Every post, photo or video, you put on Instagram or Facebook, he likes or comments on it. He’s literally the most active person on your social media. Now, why would that be? Oh! I know this one! It’s probably because he’s into you. If not, he wouldn’t make the effort to comment or even like your posts. 

#13 He’s interested: He values your opinion. Whether it’s buying a jacket or discussing a job interview, he always asks for your opinion. If he wants your opinion, it’s because he wants you to be included in making decisions. He trusts you and holds your opinion highly. Now, that only happens when a guy likes someone.

#14 Just a friend: He never made a move. He’s known you for years, literally years, and he’s never made a move on you. And you have been in situations where things could have gone further, but nothing happened. If a guy has an opportunity to make a move, he’ll make it. He won’t let it slip away.

#15 He’s interested: It’s all about eye contact. When he’s around you, his eyes are locked on you. Eye contact is an amazing way to figure out whether or not he’s into you. If a guy is just a friend, he won’t be making too much eye contact with you. However, if he’s interested, his eyes will be all over you.

#16 Just a friend: He’s not that into your life. Sure, he asks how you are and what you’re doing, but he’s not that into what’s going on in your life. He forgets the details, he doesn’t really ask many questions – these aren’t signs of interest. If he was interested in you, he would try to know everything about you.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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If He Does These 10 Things, He’s Falling in Love With You

He may be busy, but he could be showing signs of falling in love.

Asking yourself, ‘Does he love me?’ Learning how to tell if a guy likes you and is falling in love can be very difficult, especially if he’s always on the go.

When you’re seeing a man who is super busy, there are 10 behaviors to look for that let you know he really does care.

You’ve been seeing this guy for several months and things are going really well. You enjoy his company and “get” each other. There are times when it’s absolutely undeniable he is in love with you and cares deeply.

However, there are other times that make you question everything. When your man gets extremely busy, you can end up wondering where you stand. That is such an uncomfortable place to be. It’s hard to deal with his schedule and you wish things were clearer.

Rather than continuing to feel uncertain and worry, you can watch for the signs that let you know for sure he’s in love with you.

Once you notice several of these behaviors, you can take a deep breath and relax for a while until that super busy time passes and he’s back to his normal wonderful self.

The good news is that the behaviors I”m about to reveal are pretty good indicators that he’s serious about you and wants to keep you in his life.

With so much out there that helps you figure out when a man is not into you, this is like a breath of fresh and positive air!

Here’s how to tell if a guy likes you and is falling in love:

1. He stays in touch

Even when he’s crazy busy, he doesn’t skip his usual call or makes sure to keep in touch. He asks how you are doing too, vs. just updating you about his world. This shows he really does care because he wants to know about your life. That’s always a good sign he’s in love with you.

2. He seeks out your opinion

Your man wants to know what you think and seeks out your advice or ideas. Now you know he respects your opinion which is big. He wouldn’t ask if you didn’t offer something helpful or wise and you contribute to his decision-making process. Most men who do this are in the relationship for the long haul.

3. He likes to make you happy

He’s one of those men that picks up little gifts that let you know he’s thinking about you. He’ll remember a song you like or your favorite pasta dish. That thoughtfulness puts a smile on your face and certainly reveals he is thinking about you, even when he’s not around.

4. He respects you and treats you well

No matter what, your man always shows you respect and treats you like a lady. Even if he doesn’t have time to listen to all the details of a story, he apologizes for cutting you short and promises to make it up to you. And he does! You’ve never been treated so well and it feels incredibly good. That’s another way you know he’s really in love with you.

5. He really listens to you

When you have something important to say, about your job, family or friends, or about your relationship, he really listens.

He stops what he’s doing or sets aside time to give you his full attention. This makes you feel heard and understood, something you may not have found in your previous relationships. This is the sign of a good communicator and a caring man with a high emotional IQ.

6. He supports your dreams

You have a few serious dreams – things that matter to you in the big picture of your life. And you are working towards making these goals come true. Thankfully, you have a man by your side who fully supports your dreams.

He has suggestions, but holds back from telling you what to do. And each time you finish a good size chunk, he congratulates you and says how proud he is. Now that’s a good man!

7. He makes you a priority

When your man has been nose-to-the-grindstone at work or away, as soon as he is done or returns, you are one of his top priorities. He doesn’t put his buddies or others before you at times like this because you are the one who makes the biggest difference in his life.

He wants to spend time together since he’s happy when with you. No matter how busy he gets, he finds time for you which is how you know he’s really in love with you.

8. He loves you even when you’re not your best

One way to know he really loves you is how he reacts when you are not at your best. Anyone can have a bad day and your guy understands that. He doesn’t flip out or walk away. He stays and works things out. He tells you everything will be OK which is so comforting. This is when you really appreciate him and know he’s a keeper.

9. He helps you when it’s not convenient

This amazing man is willing to help you whenever you need it. Not when it’s convenient for him or when he can squeeze you in somewhere down the road. He actually goes out of his way to make sure you have what you need, because he’s really in love with you. This is something you value about him like no other man.

10. He’s part of your life and you’re part of his

Your beau joins you at your family gatherings and you go with his family as well. That’s a big sign that you are “in” and he’s so in love with you.

When he starts introducing you to his closest friends and family, you are crossing into a new and more intimate phase of relationship. Moving into exclusivity is often the step right before he starts including you in his every day life.

Now you know at least 10 signs that the man you’re seeing is deeply in love with you. These behaviors are not things men who don’t care will get involved in.

It takes a certain kind of man who has strong feelings for a woman before you’ll notice many of these signs. Once you see them, know without question that he’s crazy about you. And I’m quite sure you deserve it!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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What Does A Man Mean When He Says He Wants To Take Things Slowly?

Guest writer….

Today’s “Dear David” comes from a lady named Sara who has run into a common, but confusing situation for women. Let’s see if we can help her out, shall we?

 

She says…

“Dear David, I’ve just started seeing this guy. We’ve both been single for a few years, and it’s so nice having that warm, excited feeling my tummy when I’m with someone. I’m confused though. Last night he told me that he really likes me, and wants to take things further, BUT that he wants to take things slowly. What does that mean?”

 

David Says…

What does a man mean when he says he wants to take things slowly?

If I tell you I want to take it slow, it might only mean I want to see you one or two days a week. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be intimate with you. It doesn’t mean I’m going to start seeing other women. It just means I’d like to see where it goes, spend some time to get to know you, and take the time to communicate with you and keep moving forward gradually.

Another guy could say he wants to take it slow, and mean he just wants to see you at the weekend. Another guy could say it and mean he wants to date you, but he doesn’t want to sleep with you yet. Other guys might mean they just don’t want to jump into anything serious like moving in together too quickly.

There’s no one size fits all definition for what “taking it slow” really means.

So if a man says he wants to take it slow, you have every right to ask him what that means to him. Ask him up front. Tell him you’d like to know what it means to him. Let him know you respect him, and that you want to make him feel comfortable so you need to know what he personally expects.

You see, you build relationships on communication. Don’t be afraid to ask men to clarify what they mean. If you don’t you’ll end up speculating about what he wants. You’ll ask your friends about it, or you’ll email me. Taking it slow can mean so many different things you need to ask the source.

We’re so afraid to communicate and ask each other what we mean, and to me, clarification is the key to building any kind of trust in a relationship.

When you ask a man to clarify what he means, you’re setting the foundation for good communication in the relationship. You’re allowing open communication between two people. You’re also allowing two people to get comfortable together, so they feel they can talk about anything. You’re also showing him you’re happy to go at his pace.

I want you to read this again, and I want you to read it slowly. That way the next time a guy says he wants to take it slow, you won’t panic, and you won’t try to guess what he means, you’ll simply ask him. It’s always better to ask directly than try to guess how he’s feeling. Of course, if you want an in-depth understanding of how men think and feel, you should pick up my popular program, “What Men Desire.” 

Why does dating seem so hard? How are you supposed to meet and flirt with men? Watch my FREE video, “How to Speak Man” to STOP speculating and START winning his heart!

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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How to Tell if Someone Has a Crush on You

Practical Ways of Detecting Secret Admirers

You may suspect one of your friends or coworkers is interested in asking you out on a date.

This is either good or bad news, depending on the circumstances, and your feelings.

Obviously, not all crushes are welcome or healthy.

Some progress into unrequited love —which I have dealt with for years in my professional life prosecuting stalkers. But some crushes are harmless, and some are reciprocal.With reciprocity, however, comes insecurity.

Your crush-detector begins to waver when you are already interested in the other person because you have traded in your reading glasses for rose-colored glasses, making it harder to accurately interpret signals indicating interest.

The good news is that there are some objective ways to determine whether or not someone has a crush on you. Here are a few ways to tell.

Proximity: The Not-So-Secret Admirer

You might remember this from grade school.

Someone who likes you wants to be around you. The fellow student who snagged the desk next to you in a class or found a way to squeeze into your table in the school cafeteria might now be the fellow coworker who grabs a seat next to you in the lunchroom, or the neighbor who joins you at the counter at the corner coffee shop or deli. But how do you know it is not just coincidence?

A potential suitor who pursues getting-to-know-you through proximity might not be obvious about his or her intentions due to insecurity or social awkwardness. Nonetheless, these people will likely do or say something to ensure you know they are there — from asking if the seat is taken, to saying hello, to finding another reason to spark (even brief) conversation. About what? Probably something you have mentioned to them in the past.

Selective Memory

Someone who is interested in you remembers what interests you.

From music, to travel, to favorite foods, a person with a crush wants to please you — often demonstrating selective memory through conversation. Someone who likes you remembers what you reveal about yourself. (This is also, by the way, why you should avoid revealing personal details to strangers.)

Someone with a crush on you will ask about topics or events you mentioned in passing. They want to know how you are enjoying the book you are reading, or the movie you said you were going to see over the weekend.

Admirers who know you fairly well ask about your family members and friends. The common denominator is their tendency to distinguish themselves from your other acquaintances by what they remember about you.

But hold on, don´t good networkers and politicians do the same thing?

You bet, which is why you need to examine more than one factor.

When it comes to selective memory, for example, potential suitors often act on the information you share. Ideally, this behavior is appropriately tailored to the setting.

A bag of peanut M&Ms left on your chair at work might be appropriate; a box of Valentine chocolate is not. Within more established relationships, two admission tickets to the county fair for you and your child might be appreciated, where a single ticket to the opera is inappropriate (guess who has the seat next to you).

Here is an interesting one. Do you ever take a lunch or a snack break with someone you suspect is interested in you? Pay attention to what they order.

When Snack Selection Reveals Affection

Xun (Irene) Huang and Ping Dong in “Romantic Crushes Promote Variety‐seeking Behavior” (from 2018) demonstrated through a series of studies that having a romantic crush increases variety-seeking consumption behavior. Apparently, as they explain, this stems from a desire to regain a sense of control — which is lost within the throes of an unreciprocated romantic crush.

Huang and Dong describe a romantic crush as the state in which someone has not communicated their feelings to the object of their affection, but has expectations for sparking a romantic relationship. A crush is therefore not a mutual relationship with reciprocal feelings of affection.

What types of foods did they test? In one study they found that participants with a crush expressed a more positive attitude to a flavored yogurt variety-bundle (containing five different flavors) than a single-flavor bundle. In another study they found that participants writing a story about their romantic crush selected more candy flavors offered to them afterwards than participants without a crush who wrote about a typical day.

How do you know if your variety-seeking lunch partner is experiencing a crush, but not on you? Good question. This is why we have to examine such behavior in combination with other indications of romantic interest.And sure, some people just believe variety is the spice of life and behave accordingly. But someone who reveals multiple different indicators in having a crush on you — probably does.

 

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