25 Things That Matter To Her (Even If You Don’t Think They Do)

“It’s the little things in life that count most!”

There are a few things that women care about that men sometimes don’t understand, or miss altogether. These may be things that men do that they don’t realize mean the world, or things that men don’t do and don’t realize that they should have. So, even if you don’t think these things matter, it’s more likely than not that a woman is paying attention to what you do (or don’t do!).

HERE ARE 25 THINGS THAT MATTER TO HER, EVEN IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE

1. PAYING HER COMPLIMENTS

This could be a compliment on a new haircut, her nail color, or her clothing. “Compliments work best when they are forthright and not incidental… they must be genuine. The more specific they are, the better,” explains Psychology Today. Women keep track of all those little compliments, and often think about them when they’re having a bad day.

2. WHEN YOU TELL HER SOMETHING REMINDS YOU OF HER

This could be a book or a song. Women will remember when something you’ve seen or heard reminds you of them.

3. WHEN YOU BRING HOME HER FAVORITE FOOD

No matter what kind of food it is, women are always pleased that men remember their favorite meals and then go out of their way to bring some home.

4. SENDING HER WAKE UP TEXTS

A good morning text first thing in the morning means the world to her, because she knows that she’s the first thing on your mind when you wake up. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but it’ll have her smiling all day.

5. SHARING HOUSEHOLD CHORES

Pop-culture and sitcom television often shows men not doing their share of the household chores. When that’s all she’s been surrounded by, it’s a nice change of pace to know that men actually do take responsibility and help out around the house. Psychotherapist and life coach, Neeta V Shetty adds, “Doing household chores is a way of showing that you care for your partner. It is also an activity, which can help you spend time with each other in this fast-paced life.”

6. WHEN YOU TAKE A GENUINE INTEREST IN HER LIFE

Marriage coach Lesli Doares explains, “Taking at least twenty minutes per day to deeply focus on your partner (and their day) makes them feel so important and like you really do still care.” It’s important to a woman that her partner be interested in who she is as a person. When a woman finds a man who is willing to listen to her talk and take an interest in her life, it means a lot.

7. LETTING HER CONTROL THE RADIO ON LONG CAR RIDES

It’s such a silly, simple thing, but women will always remember when men let them take control of the radio, especially if your music tastes differ.

8. WHEN YOU DON’T HIDE THINGS FROM HER

Women take note of all the things that men hide about themselves, whether those things be large or small. So, when a man opens up and let’s a woman into his life, she’s going to remember every little thing he shares and cherishes his honesty and trust.

9. MAKING COMPROMISES WHEN YOU CAN

Relationship expert April Masini explains, “Lots of happy couples have differences in relationships — the trick is to learn which ones are more important to you than the relationship.” Women always remember when men make compromises and don’t stay headstrong in a discussion or an argument. Even when you don’t want to compromise, women always appreciate it when you do so.

10. WHEN YOU HAVE KEEPSAKES

Maybe you save all your ticket stubs from movies, or maybe you keep all of her lost hair from bobby pins. Women always notice when a man keeps something that reminds him of her, and it makes her feel so good.

11. WHEN YOU CONSULT HER BEFORE LIFE-CHANGING DECISIONS

Whether this decision be quitting your job or starting a new career, women always notice and appreciate when men consult them first.

12. WHEN YOU POST PICTURES ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Even if you aren’t really into using Facebook or Instagram, it really means a lot to women when you post pictures of the two of you together. It shows her that she’s worth showing off.

13. WHEN YOU MAKE SURE TO PLEASURE HER IN BED

Sex expert Coleen Singer says, “First and foremost, it means that you are giving her the kind of sexual pleasure she desires. It also indicates that she appreciates you taking the time and focus to do the things that you know drive her wild in bed.” Some men don’t know how to make a woman feel good in bed, so it’s important to her when you make sure that she feels good, too.

14. WHEN YOU HOLD HER HAND

A lot of men don’t like public displays of affection, so it matters to a woman when you hold her hand in public, or just while you’re walking down the street.

15. WHEN YOU ENGAGE IN A CONVERSATION SHE’S INTERESTED IN

Women always note when a man stays engaged in a topic that they don’t know much about. When you show interest in the things she likes, it matters to her a whole lot.

16. WHEN YOU’RE THERE FOR HER DURING TIMES SHE FEELS VULNERABLE

You may not know the right things to say to make it all better, but it matters to her that you’re there for her anyway.

17. WHEN YOU BRAG ABOUT HER TO YOUR FRIENDS

Women love to know that you’re proud of them. Bragging to all your friends that you’ve got the best girl around will be sure to make her pleased.

18. WHEN YOU APOLOGIZE TO HER WITH SINCERITY

A lot of men refuse to apologize even when they mess up. Women will always take note when you apologize and appreciate your humility.

19. OPENING UP TO HER ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS

When you open up about your day and your feelings, it can make a woman feel like you’re really connecting with her. She’ll appreciate that you trust her enough to be vulnerable.

20. COOKING BREAKFAST FOR HER

Even if you’re not very good at it, it means a lot that you’ll give it a shot and cook breakfast for her so she doesn’t have to.

21. LETTING HER BORROW YOUR CLOTHES

You know that you’re not ever going to get that T-Shirt back. You know it, she knows it, and you let her borrow it anyway.

22. WHEN YOU SING TO HER AND MAKE YOURSELF LOOK SILLY

Even if you have the worst singing voice imaginable, women love when men act silly with them and will appreciate even the worst-sung love song.

23. WHEN YOU GIVE HER SURPRISE HUGS

If you just can’t stand not being connected with her, you can show this through giving her a much-needed surprise hug. She’ll notice and appreciate the affection.

24. WHEN YOU TREAT HER PETS LIKE YOUR OWN

Even if she owns a snobby cat or a yappy dog, women appreciate that you treat her pets with the same love and care that you would treat your own.

25. TELLING HER ‘I LOVE YOU’ AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN

This one goes without explanation.

 

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Alicia – Bar Owner

After the 3 part Cherie series last week, I wanted to give everyone a little break from me and my girlfriend. So here’s a story from my past to entertain you until my next encounter with Cherie.

I had recently gotten divorced back in 2001 and one of my friends decided to hook me up with Alicia who was about 10 years younger than me and “Owned a bar”. (Love her already!) She drove a super nice car and wore clothes much nicer than mine, so I figured she was a little high maintenance or just a successful bar owner.

We meet at a party and she’s awesome, super pretty, fun, and says she LOVES TO PLAY POKER in Atlantic City. This is great because I said we should go play some time. We hit it off great and make plans to go the next weekend.

The next weekend rolls around and I meet her at her house (Borderline mansion), and I drive us down to AC. It’s about 45 minutes/miles to AC. We chat and have a great time the entire way. We also make the agreement that whatever we both win we split. If I win $500 and she wins $700 it’s $600 for the both of us.

We get there and I pull out $600 from the ATM to sit and play cash, strangely she doesn’t pull out anything so I assume she brought cash. Before we even make it to the poker pit she says “Let’s play some slots”…. Now I HATE slots and think they’re for suckers but I’m not above dropping a bill for fun so we sit down and I open my wallet. She snatches a bill…. $500 left… which after a couple of max bets is GONE… I say, “Lets go” and she says “Let me try one more time” and I go to check my wallet for anything less than a $100 bill…. she snatches another…. Now I’m down to $400.

Now I know damn well looking back I should have called bullshit right then and there but I was young and she was hot. I’ve always had a weakness for beauty.

She drains the hundred and we proceed to the poker pit. Right at the entrance I pull out my wallet to get my $400 to sit and like a fucking ninja she snatches $200 and says, “I’m gonna play slots while you play poker” and is gone before I can say anything!!!

I am seething mad but also a pretty good poker player.  I sit with the table minimum of $200 and quickly make back the $400 she took plus $200. She comes back like an hour later and says, “look what I won with that $200 and has a slip for $700!! I snatch it as soon as she shows me. I cash out my $800 and head to the cashier with $800 in chips and the $700 ticket from her. $1500 isn’t looking bad.

I cash everything and hand her $450… half of the $900 after I recoup my $600 that I withdrew. I’m met with “Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! Where’s my $750?!?!”

There was no explaining that we were splitting everything we WON and that I recouped my $600 and split the $900 that remained. Alicia’s screaming mad and keeps telling me that it’s not fair and I’m screwing her etc.

I have no clue what to do…. we’re in Atla,ntic City 45 minutes from home and she’s coming undone at the seams in front of god and everybody. This is the point I decide to nut up and just start walking to my car with her SCREAMING in tow.

We get to the car and it’s the longest most awkward drive home. 45 minutes of dead silence (which wasn’t that bad considering her yelling before!) and we reach her place. I stop and she looks at me and says “I hope you weren’t planning on coming in and getting fucked.”

Deadpanned, I reply “You’ve been fucking me all night, I think I’ve had enough.”

Come to find out, mommy and daddy owned the house, car and bar. Alicia was a part-time bar-back while going to school.

I hate my friends.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am &12pm EST.

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Top Ten Scientifically Proven Qualities Women Find Attractive In Men

If there’s one thing that has intrigued men all over the world about women, it has to be this. What do they really want ? Or more specifically, what qualities do women find attractive in men ?

Even though, every woman is different, but science has concluded several qualities that most women find irresistible in men.

What’s more is that, any man can become a more attractive mate, by developing/improving these 10 qualities.

1. Confidence

Top Ten Scientifically Proven Qualities Women Find Attractive In Men

Perhaps the biggest turn on for a woman is confidence. Women like to be with those men who know exactly what they want in life, and how to get it. A good posture and a genuine smile makes you look brimming with confidence, even if you aren’t.

2. A sense of humor

Top Ten Scientifically Proven Qualities Women Find Attractive In Men

Scientists have found out that humor make men look more intelligent. Humor projects confidence and also serves as a stress buster in social situations. Every woman likes a man who can make her laugh even when she’s feeling low.

3. Sense of style

Top Ten Scientifically Proven Qualities Women Find Attractive In Men

You don’t need to spend a lot of money to look fashionable. Paying attention to a few details is enough to increase one’s style quotient. Just make sure your clothes are well fitting, clean, match your age and profession.

4. Good looks

Top Ten Scientifically Proven Qualities Women Find Attractive In Men

When it comes to dating, first impressions matter a lot. A good personality is only going to get someone so far. Being good looking is an important requirement, for both $exes. And when it comes to love, looks and first impressions can make or break chances of a long term relationship.

5. Passion

Top Ten Scientifically Proven Qualities Women Find Attractive In Men

By passion, we’re not only referring to passion in the bedroom. But it also includes a guy’s goals and aspirations in life. Women find those guys more attractive, who have are ambitious in life and have a clear cut idea of what they want to be in life. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t achieved your goals as of yet, as long as you’re making concrete efforts towards it.

6. Eye color

Top Ten Scientifically Proven Qualities Women Find Attractive In Men

When it comes to attractiveness, the first thing people notice about the other people is their eyes. According to a study conducted by All about vision.com, majority of people find green eyes to be the most attractive, followed by light blue and hazel colored eyes.

7. Intelligence

Top Ten Scientifically Proven Qualities Women Find Attractive In Men

You must have heard the saying, Beauty is nothing without brains. Women value intelligence as much as looks. And you don’t need to be a genius to appear attractive either. Having good problem solving skills and the ability to hold intelligent conversations are enough to woo any girl.

8. Facial hair

Top Ten Scientifically Proven Qualities Women Find Attractive In Men

The belief that facial hair makes you look more masculine and attractive to women is now even backed by science. According to the University Of South Wales, majority of women prefer men who have a bit stubble over those who don’t.

9. Status

Top Ten Scientifically Proven Qualities Women Find Attractive In Men

Status does not only mean wealth or popularity, it is how the outside world perceives you. How women view you is based on your social interaction and the way people treat you. Having a low social status is going to have negative consequences on not only your relationships, but your career and overall quality of life

10. Height

Top Ten Scientifically Proven Qualities Women Find Attractive In Men

Surveys conducted by the BBC, Daily Mail and some dating websites have shown that women prefer men who are taller than them. This is considered to be a evolutionary trait, since in prehistoric times, men who were taller were seen as stronger and more dominant than their peers.

So guys and girls, take care of your body, smile and most importantly, be yourself. Are there any other things what women look for in a guy ? Let us know in the comments below.

 

 

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6 Female Habits That Men Simply Adore, Will Surprise You!

Every man should respect and love his lady and be aware that she is the most valuable thing in his life. Although they love their women with all their hearts, there are still some small things that annoy them just a little bit and we all know that sometimes they can be a bit difficult. Writing messages or calling all the time, acting like a child, going shopping every day are some of the things men consider annoying. However, enough with the female habits that men consider annoying and let’s concentrate on the things that they adore in women.

Below we offer 6 main habits men simply adore in women:

Laying your head on his chest

All men simply love it when a woman places her head on his chest. This makes them feel protective, strong and gives them self-confidence. Women also feel secure when they do this, which is every man’s objective – to make their woman feel safe and secure.

Touching his hair while he is driving

When you touch and play with his hair he doesn’t just a physical pleasure, but he also considers it as a sign of love, affection and connection. They simply adore their women when they do this.

She admires him on social networks

This is very obvious and you probably know it. Your man loves when you say how much you appreciate him in public!

Listens to him carefully

When the woman listens to her man while he is speaking and paying close attention to what he is saying, it means that she loves and appreciates him a lot.

Texting or calling him when you are out with your friends

He may not admit this, but believe us, every men adores this no matter what he is saying. In this way you show that you think about him all the time even when you are out with your friends.

Showing your affection in public

Even the simplest things like a gentle hug, holding his hand or fixing his hair in public can make his heart beat faster and the love towards you will grow stronger.

 

 

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Men – Make A Good & Lasting Impression

Here is some dating advice for men… women love a gentleman. There are a few simple things that you can do as you prepare for your date, pick her up and how you treat her that will make a good and lasting impression on that special girl.

Preparing for your night out starts with an acceptance. Asking a special girl out can take a lot of courage, however it is worth the gamble. When you are asking her out, be confident, have a game plan and be true to yourself. It is okay to be creative, however a simple, “Would you like to go out with me?” works really well as dating etiquette.

Once she has accepted, it is time for you to get ready. Plan ahead. This is very good dating advice for men. It is so important that you decide what you are going to do and where you are going before you leave. If you need reservations for the restaurant, make them. If you need to know what time an event starts, find out. A girl is very impressed by a man that has a plan.

The day has arrived and it is time for you to get ready. You want to impress this girl right? Make sure you are clean and smell good. Get a haircut if you need to. It is worth a little bit of extra time and care. She will notice how you smell, if you shaved, and how your hair looks. Take some time also for some fashion etiquette. There are things that are important to girls, like matching clothes and nice shoes (they always look at your shoes). Your clothing and dress are a true reflection of how much you care to be out with her. Be sure to dress for the occasion. There is no need to show up in a tuxedo when you are going out for a fun dinner and entertainment.

Next, be on time. A girl may make you wait, it is in their nature. However you should never make them wait. If indeed something comes up that will delay you (traffic, work, mom calls at the last second) make sure you call her to explain. Give her an estimated time of arrival. This is good dating manners. When you do arrive, be complimentary and courteous with her. Tell her she looks nice. She will feel so special even before you walk out the door.

Always be a gentleman. Some women are not used to a man treating them with respect. You will have the advantage if you do simple things for her. Opening the car door is a great start. Make sure she is comfortable. As you arrive at your destination, hold open that door too. Allow her to go first and then help her be seated at the table. Be sensitive to each woman’s reaction. Some women are not used to men doing things for them. If they are absolutely not comfortable with it, then just be courteous.

First date conversations can be a little tricky to negotiate. Read up on current events and things that you know she is interested in. Ask just enough questions to make her feel like you are interested in who she is and what she likes. Be a good listener. It doesn’t do the conversation any good for you to ask a question and not know what she has said. It is okay to talk about sports and what you are interested in, however if she is clearly not interested, move on to the next subject. Good dating advice for men is no swearing, no arguing and no talking about other girls.  Be respectful, even if you don’t hit it off right at first.

It is so important to have fun on a date. The most memorable dates I have been on have been simple, full of good conversation and doing things that we enjoyed. Try new things. A girl loves a guy with a sense of adventure and who will step out of his comfort zone for her. Recently my husband and I attended a wedding. He is not comfortable on the dance floor, however he was brave for me and we had a great time dancing. It was a night I will not soon forget.

What if you don’t hit it off with her? Most importantly, stay true to who you are. Do not change yourself to be what you think she wants. Some dating advice for men would tell you otherwise. You will never be happy in a relationship like that. Next, don’t argue, belittle or fight with her. Just simply end the date early if it is really terrible. I have a friend who picked up a girl for a date, he found out that really wasn’t what he wanted to take out that evening, turned the car around and dropped her off. He ended up calling one of his friends (who happened to be a girl) and had a great evening with her. It is okay to do that rather than waste your time and money.

So here you are at the end of the date…what do you do? Again, good dating advice for men is to relax and be a gentleman. One time I went out with a guy, we had a great time, however the entire ride home the poor guy was gripping the steering wheel, completely white-knuckled because he was so nervous about the dreaded door-step. It was pretty funny once I figured out what was going on. Tell her you had a good time. A simple hug or handshake is totally appropriate for the end of a first date. If you are intending to call her, let her know. If not, do not say you will call! That is some of the best dating advice for men. Leaving someone hanging is not the gentleman’s way.

Dating should be a fun experience. Following this dating advice for men will help you have fun and be you. It is the time when you are finding out who a person is and if you want to spend more time with them. It is also a time of self-discovery. You will learn so many new things about yourself as you learn about a special girl. Take your time, don’t rush anything. A gentleman always makes a good and lasting impression on a lady.

 

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12 Signs You Almost Missed That He’s Interested In Being More Than Just A Friend

1. He looks for you inside of crowded rooms. When you hang out in a group, he always migrates toward you. Directs his comments toward you. Faces his torso toward you. It doesn’t matter how many people are around, because you two always manage to find your way to each other.

2. He touches you in a flirtatious way, not a friendly way. He finds any excuse he can to touch you — and not just for high fives and fist bumps. Whenever he hugs you, he lingers for a little too long. Whenever he sits next to you, he lets your arms or thighs brush, even when he has more than enough room to spread himself out. Whenever he has the choice, he inches into your personal space.

3. He talks shit about your boyfriends. Whenever you talk about a celebrity you find attractive, he makes fun of the guy. Whenever you talk about someone you’re crushing on, he lets you know you can do better. He gets defensive whenever you mention another attractive man, because he considers them his competition.

4. He remembers stupid, little things about you. He knows which brand of beer makes you gag. What shows are currently on your Netflix queue. When you have to wake up for work in the morning. He knows the tiny things that slip your other friends’ minds, because he pays close attention to every word you say.

5. He turns the conversation sexual — but only with you. He only makes dirty jokes with you. He only gives detailed compliments to you. He is clearly attracted to you.

6. He seems extra nervous around you lately. He fidgets. He plays with his hair. He shifts in his seat. His body language is giving his feelings away.

7. He has a tendency to stare. You’ve caught him checking out your ass before. And when he’s not watching you walk away, he’s looking between your eyes and your lips. He’s holding himself back from kissing you, because that’s all he’s been thinking about.

8. He never uses ‘best friend’ terms with you. He never calls you buddy or pal. He never mentions how you’re just like a sister to him either, because he doesn’t want you to see him that way. He wants to be more than just your friend.

9. He looks like fire whenever you’re around. When he knows he’s going to see you, he puts extra energy into his appearance. He wants to impress you. He wants to raise the sexual tension to its highest possible point.

10. He banters back and forth with you. He makes fun of your clothes. Of your music taste. Of your career. Of everything. But in the most innocent way possible. It’s never insulting. It’s playful teasing. It’s flirting.

11. He prefers hanging out with you one-on-one. He would rather invite you over to watch Netflix in his room than hang out in a big group. He doesn’t want other people in his way, stealing your attention. He wants you all to himself.

12. He never mentions any other girls. Even though you talk about your love life all the time, he never mentions a girl he’s interested in, because he’s interested in you.

 

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Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am EST.

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Cherie – Chapter 22 – Shark Week – Part III – Shoes & Scarves

Alright, don’t panic. I didn’t get Cherie pregnant last night during Shark Week. Although she did say a few things last night that shook me up.

  1. It only takes one sperm…
  2. I always wanted a girl…
  3. My husb…

She assured me she was just kidding about the first two. She’s made it very clear to me that she doesn’t want anymore children. But those sort of references always rattle me to my core. But in regard to the third one, she was telling me a story last night, and that’s how she almost slipped to refer to me. I called her out on it, and made it funny. She laughed and was a little embarrassed. I thought that it was cute. Does she want me to someday be her husband? I do love her. Time will tell. Let’s see how this romantic journey plays out.

We head out into the snowy day. It’s not that bad. Pretty flurries, and some snow on the ground. But we’re on a mission. Breakfast was amazing. We didn’t get the special, but it was worth it to spend some extra time in bed together.

You know, when I’m with Cherie, she becomes more beautiful to me every hour I’m with her. I don’t get to see her all of the time. Michelle I saw every day. Annabelle, was a forced companionship to make it work. But with Cherie, I’m denied her presence most of the time. Our schedules and the distance keep us apart. But it’s working! When I’m with her, I’m at peace. Not a euphoric happy that I felt with the last two. Just a satisfied feeling that I’ve never felt before. I haven’t had to change at all with her in my life. I’ve gone good and bad in the last two relationships, but I do what I want in this relationship and most of all…I get to be me.

The real me.

To a point. I smoke, and drink and live my life down here in the city. Working two jobs, moving a business, writing a blog that you’ll one day binge on Netflix. That’s the difference here. I don’t have to be patient and fix the girl I’m loving. I don’t have to stop being me, and transform into an idea. I don’t have to be frustrated, angry or disappointed. I thought that was part of being in a relationship. My parents were that.

All of my relationships have been fucked up. There’s always something missing.

A disconnect. I loved them, but it was always hard. I just thought it was always supposed to be that way. I guess that’s why Michelle went back to Delaware Dave. She did it to save herself. Work on your health. You can’t do that with Phickle. He’s all about joy and vice. It’s fun, but it won’t sustain a relationship. Annabelle was in a totally different child-like, confused part of her life. I don’t even know why I thought it could be anything. It’s just ashes blown off the edge of an old table.

I don’t think we’ll always be at a distance. But I’m not going to do anything to change it now. It’s been three months and I have zero stress or confusion about what this is. Sometimes I’m amazed that this ripe, young, fit beauty really loves me. I know she does. I love her but there’s always an imbalance in every relationship. it’s not a bad thing. It just is. Somebody loves somebody more than the other one does.

Think about it. That’s you. You’ve been there, or you’re there right now.

I love Cherie. She’s young, beautiful, smart, super sexy, and a chill girl with an even temperament, and a great sense of humor. What more could any man want? Nothing. She’s great, and I’m blessed to have her in my life. Sometimes I think of myself and God. I feel like I’ve spent all of my luck and good fortune tickets. I punched every hole in my joy ticket.

Then I think of karma. What if I did something to deserve one more twenty-six year old baby, but she’s the right one? Not a project, but a lovely young woman who has suffered. Worked ten years at MacDonald’s. Has been a mother for the last six years. Medical Assistant at Children’s Hospital. Works at a pediatrician’s office. Tons of hours. getting her degree in neuroscience. Next stop, medical school. End game: Doctor.

But the karma. I haven’t done anything extraordinary since, Michelle. Why have I been granted this maiden?

To love again.

Why do I get to go again?

Then it came to me. February, 2015.

Lorelei came to me. The lead in the school play. The A-B student. The quiet, calm force torn asunder by her mother’s madness.

“Daddy, please. Can I please come live with you? I can’t take it anymore. I have to get out. I’ll sleep on the floor to get away from her.”

There it is. I have entered into and exited bloody from many relationships in my short life, but I got a “Get out of Jail Free” card from God. I rescued my daughter from the clutches of the gargoyle and God gave me another one.

Cherie.

Cherie loves me more than I love her and I know it. But maybe she doesn’t love me more and only loves me differently than the way I love her.

 

We enter Kids Foot Locker and look for some sneakers for kids. Lorelei is twenty and it’s been a long time since I thought about buying shoes for her. But Cherie’s family is young.

My family is slowly sliding down destiny’s rainbow.

There are walls of footwear in these places. I would never go to a store like this. Payless is how I roll in regard to fine footware here in Philly. I am blown away by these prices. There were $100 little baby sneakers in there! Walls of them!

Cherie was very thorough in her search. She finally decided on two terrifically expensive pairs of shoes for a couple of kids that will grow out of them in half a year.

We step out of the store and the snowfall seems to be getting worse. I tell her I know of a retail street cart at the corner of 12th and Chestnut that has the scarves I need. There’s Pollyanna party at my new company. If you ever have to buy a gift for someone in the fall or winter in Philly, buy a street scarf.

Super soft. Silky. That’s how I would describeit… cashmere. But I’m describing these Burberry novachek knock offs that look and feel great for about six bucks.

We trudge over there. The snow is getting colder and meaner. The flakes now feel like cold needles on our tender faces.

Philadelphia is a bitter and grey place today.

We arrive at where the cart is supposed to be but it’s not.

Cherie is not thrilled.

She wanted to buy a hat and some gloves. I tell her I have an idea. I cut South through Midtown Village. We enter at the earliest point to get into the subway.

At least I have baby out of the cold!

Suburban Station in the winter is a den of homeless people. It’s especially frosty out tonight so, we have a packed house full of walkers right now.

I find this subway retails store that carries everything. I get the scarves I need, and Cherie lands her gloves and hat. When we leave the store, I want to keep Cherie underground for as long a possible, because it’s now an ice storm out there.

We’re walking down this long hallway, and I swear to God, the urine stench was so bad, I actually started getting angry. Cherie wanted to turn back, but I told her she’d freeze her sweet black ass off if we were to back track. (Just take out the word ‘black’ please…)

As we’re walking down the hallway of the walking dead, I turn to the right and there is a woman with no pants on. This poor thing is changing her clothes in an alcove under 1601 Market. Cherie, chides me for staring, but I have to explain it to her. If you saw nudity in Playboy, you’d be expecting it. It’s good, but there are higher levels. If you were walking through a train station and you saw a real naked lady, it would feel different, right? It’s a bit of a shocker. As bad as she is, you still saw it and got a story out of it.

I knew this would happen. I created phicklephilly and now we are one. My art is imitating my life and my life is now my art.

We walk back through center city to the house. Her giant back pack is there. The entire walk home was a grueling trudge with snow biting our faces the whole way. We chill for a bit and dry out at the house. Lorelei texts me that she is stopping home between the double she’s working at the restaurant.

“That was nine minutes ago. We should go.” There has been very little exposure for my current, I wanted it do the opposite in this relationship. We are literally in the vestibule of my building, and Cherie says, “How do you open this door?”

I look through the glass and on the other side of the door is Lorelei. Cherie is trying to operate our impossibly tricky locking system. “You’re about to meet my daughter.”

Lorelei is surprised to see me. Probably even more surprised that I’m standing with a pretty black girl. I fumble over my words. “Hi honey. I got your text about stopping home between your double shift. This is Cherie. I’m going to walk her to the train. We just had to pick up some stuff. She doesn’t think anything. My daughter knows I’m friends with so many people in the city and they’re all different races. It’s not like she caught us in the saddle.

We head back out into the snow. It’s really going. I think about how I haven’t told anyone about Cherie. It’s not because of the age difference or the race. That’s nonsense. But for the first time in the last decade, I’ve not posted and shown off what I’m doing. I don’t know why I did that. I guess I’ll figure it out. There are no pictures of Cherie and me. There are no posts about us going out. This love belongs to us. It’s private. Who gives a shit about the rest of the world. Let them look into their own lives. Show all of their greatest hits on all of their trips. Stuff and vacations tell me they are empty. Because when you are calm and happy, you don’t want anything. The best things in life are free.

It’s really true. Everybody wants that. But love is elusive. But what is even more elusive  is people’s ability to go out in the world and open their hearts. Love and sex is all around you. Just relax, smile and go forth and be yourself. They’ll find you.

The most beautiful butterflies I have ever caught have been wonderful. But I never had to pick up my net to catch them. They flew right into the flame.

I’m not worried about Lorelei. She doesn’t give a shit about what I do anyway. As long as she can work, collect her allowance, eat her vegan food, and see her boyfriend, she’s cool.

We cross the street, avoiding the traffic on the street. “Where are we going now?” Cherie says. “I’m calling an UBER. We’re not walking back to Suburban Station in this mess.” “I’ve never taken an UBER.” “You’ll love it.”

We arrive at 16th and JFK and hop out. I take her and lead her down the stairs back into the subway. I take her to the platform and wait with her. We’re standing there and the train roars into the station.

I’m back where I began friday night. But there has been so much joy. I’m standing there satisfied. It’s obvious I ‘ve been satisfied sexually. But there’s a certain feeling you get when you’re with someone you love. You don’t want anything else. You’re good. All set. I’ll miss her, but she has to go. She has to get back to her son, work, and school.

I stand on the platform until she leaves. I can see her at the window. The conductor shouts. The train hisses to life and begins to pull from the station. Our eyes meet. She smiles, waves and blows me a kiss.

I do the same. Until next we meet.

 

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