Sabrina – Unexpected Turn

Tales of Rock – Woodstock 50 Canceled

Woodstock 50 – scheduled to coincide with the 50th anniversary of the legendary music festival – has been canceled.

Although the all-star lineup – featuring Jay-Z, Miley Cyrus, Dead & Company, the Raconteurs and dozens more, including acts from the original Woodstock fest – was announced in early March, tickets for the festival did not go on sale; a planned Earth Day on-sale in April was postponed due to reported permit issues.

However, on Monday, Dentsu, one of the festival’s main investment arm, announced that Woodstock 50, organized in part by Woodstock co-founder Michael Lang, would not proceed.

“It’s a dream for agencies to work with iconic brands and to be associated with meaningful movements,” Dentsu said in a statement. “We have a strong history of producing experiences that bring people together around common interests and causes which is why we chose to be a part of the Woodstock 50th Anniversary Festival.”

 

The company continued, “But despite our tremendous investment of time, effort and commitment, we don’t believe the production of the festival can be executed as an event worthy of the Woodstock Brand name while also ensuring the health and safety of the artists, partners and attendees. As a result and after careful consideration, Dentsu Aegis Network’s Amplifi Live, a partner of Woodstock 50, has decided to cancel the festival.  As difficult as it is, we believe this is the most prudent decision for all parties involved.”

Imagine Dragons, Kacey Musgraves, Run the Jewels, Chance the Rapper, Halsey, John Fogerty, Robert Plant and dozens more were booked to play the Watkins Glen, New York festival on August 16th through 18th, exactly 50 years after the original festival; another 50-year anniversary event is planned for Bethel, New York at the site of the original Woodstock.

At a press conference announcing Woodstock 50 in March, Lang said of the event, “What we’ve assembled here is a combination of some of the great artists from our era and many of the great artists of today and hopefully some of the great artists of tomorrow. Many of these artists are committed to social change, have their own issues that they support, but also support these global issues of climate change and Black Lives Matter.”

Rumors about the fate of Woodstock 50 began when the festival missed its April 22nd on-sale date. “There is currently a hold on the Woodstock 50 on-sale date; the festival reportedly didn’t acquire a mass gathering permit from the New York State Department of Health. Organizers denied claims at the time that the festival would be canceled.

“Woodstock is a phenomenon that for 50 years has drawn attention to its principles and also the rumors that can be attached to that attention,” Lang said, dismissing the rumors. However, after a week passed without updated ticket information, Dentsu canceled Woodstock 50 Monday. According to Billboard, the festival was canceled due to concerns about the capacity of the festival, permit issues and site readiness.

The Watkins Glen, New York site has now seen large-scale music festivals canceled in consecutive years: In 2018, Phish’s Curveball was called off at the last minute due to water conditions at the festival site.

 

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Murder Mystery Weekend – Chapter 18

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=292

 

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 9 – That Thing We Talked About

Kita is a hardcore tanner. The perfect client. I’m always trying to introduce her to new products and services that we offer. Different lotions, bronzers, etc. I really think she should try a stand up unit, but she says she likes the lay down units because they have the face tanners and stand up units don’t.

Whatever baby wants.

So lately she’s been asking me if she could do two sessions instead of one. I told her normally the rule is to wait 24 hours before tanning again. Our beds are state of the art and I believe the settings are what’s best for healthy exposure to ultraviolet light. Most beds are between 9 and 12 minutes long sessions based on the wattage of the bulbs type of that unit.

But… I’ve seen and heard of people doing double sessions in tanning beds. If they’re tan enough there’s no hazard. I know it’s possible. and I even did it for someone once. (See: Sun Stories – Corn Chips and String) But the client in that story was from out of town and just passing through. She was already tan. She was also Brazilian. So the melanin in her skin could handle a double dose and she paid $20 cash for the 2nd shot. (Read it! It’s a funny story!)

I love little Kita and I want to make that same thing happen for her. I do feel like she may be a bit obsessed with tanning. Why would you want to be so dark all the time? She’s already beautiful with just a light caramel color.

But whatever baby wants.

I tell her I’ll see if I can figure out a way to make it happen. She squeals with delight.

I think about it for awhile as to how to finagle a way to do it without causing a problem and then it suddenly hits me. Simply go to Achilles (See: Achilles – The Bronze God) and describe what you’d like to do. Just be honest like you always are with him. He’ll hopefully let you do it for her.

 

I sit down with Achilles the next day. I describe that Kita is really into tanning. She looked up our salon to make sure she could tan BEFORE she even left from Florida to come to Philly. That’s a serious tanner. I sold her the All Access Premium EFT package. (Electric Funds Transfer) That’s the account where they sign up for a minimum of 6 months and we just hit their card every month for $55. That’s not a lot of money for getting access to every bed in the house including the spray unit, but they’re our best clients. Automatic pay every month. Instant money!

I tell him she’s cool and won’t say anything. Maybe I charge her a fee for the service.

I pitch my idea to him and he approves. I send Kita to whatever bed she chooses. (Probably room #2, because that’s her favorite) When she’s finished her 10 minute session, I send her back to that room or any room of her choosing for another 10 minute session under the house account and charge her $5.

So that’s it. I went to him with an idea for a good paying client with a special request and plead my case as to why we should do it, and it was approved.

Kita will be ecstatic when I tell her the news.

Can’t wait.

 

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Tales of Rock: R.I.P. Molly Hatchet singer Phil McCormack dead at 58

Phil McCormack, longtime singer of southern rock band Molly Hatchet, has died at the age of 58.

“It is with great sorrow to announce the passing of our friend and band member, Phil McCormack,” the band said in a statement to Facebook. “Our condolences and prayers go out to his family during this time of loss. Phil’s contributions to Molly Hatchet were heard around the world. He will be missed but never forgotten.”

McCormack joined Molly Hatchet in 1996, replacing vocalist Danny Joe Brown. He appeared on seven studio albums, as well as several live LPs. He was most recently heard on Molly Hatchet’s 2012 album, Regrinding the Axes.

McCormack was preceded in death by Molly Hatchet’s original vocalist and founding member Dave Hlubek, who passed in 2017, as well the group’s two subsequent singers, Brown and Jimmy Farrar, who passed away in 2005 and 2018, respectively. Guitarist Duane Roland, bassist Riff West, drummer Bruce Crump, and bassist Banner Thomas have also passed.

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The Relationship Rules Every Guy Needs to Follow

Maintaining a strong, happy relationship can be difficult work – but it doesn’t have to be.  Follow the 6 relationship rules for men described below, and you’ll have a much easier time creating loving relationships with the women you date.

Rule #1 Don’t “fix” her problems

An important relationship rule for men who want easier relationships is to avoid the urge to try and “fix” her problems.  When the girl you’re dating starts venting about the people and things causing stress in her life, don’t just offer your solutions.  Because chances are she’s not looking for solutions – she just wants to be heard.

So instead, just listen to what she has to say and validate how she feels.  Simply supporting her will create a stronger emotional connection between you.  This alone can automatically get her to start feeling better.  You can then find out if she’s interested in your advice by asking “Would you like any advice on how to handle that situation?”  If she says yes, offer your tips for solving her problem.  If not, all she’s really looking for is that connection.  So just continue listening and empathizing with her situation.

Rule #2 Set Boundaries

If you want a quality relationship then you’ve got to set boundaries.  You need to draw a line and let your girl know exactly what you will and won’t accept from your relationship.  Some guys are hesitant to set boundaries as they’re worried it’ll chase the girl away.  But the fact is women are more attracted to guys who set and enforce boundaries.  After all no girl wants a guy she can walk all over.  Women want a strong man who has standards.

You can set boundaries both in regards to how the girl treats you or how the relationship is defined.  You may, for example, find that the girl you’re dating has a habit of teasing you in a way you don’t appreciate.  Or perhaps you think she gets a little too friendly with other guys when you go out.  In either case, calmly let her know exactly what behaviors you won’t tolerate.  If she continues pushing those boundaries you’ll have to find a way to enforce them.  That may mean you need to take time (even if it’s just a night) away from her – so she can see you’re serious.

Rule #3 Working through your issues

When setting boundaries – or working through any other relationship problem – a good relationship rule for men is to avoid assigning blame or making personal attacks.  The more confrontational your words and attitude are when trying to work through a problem, the harder it’s going to be reach a resolution.

Instead of calling her names or blaming her for problems, simply let her know how certain behaviors make you feel.  For example, let’s say you’re upset because she never bothered to introduce you to her friends when you were out the night before.  Instead of saying “You’re so rude, you should have introduced me to your friends” try saying something like “It hurt that you didn’t introduce me, I felt like you didn’t want me there.  Next time I’d really appreciate an introduction”.  By phrasing it this way you’re not attacking, blaming, or trying to control her.  You’re simply stating how you feel and what you’d like.  As a result she’ll be far more willing to do things your way.

Rule #4 Make time for other friends/activities

A great relationship rule for men to follow to make sure a relationship is lifting you up – and not dragging you down – is to carve out some time for yourself.  After all you don’t want to be one of those guys who only gets fulfillment from this one relationship.  That puts a lot of pressure on things to always go well – and the smallest bumps in the relationship can feel like major catastrophes.

So make a point to continue getting satisfaction and fulfillment from other areas of your life.  Make time for old friends and the activities you enjoy.  Doing so will keep you from needing too much from your relationship.  And it’ll be easier to sit back and enjoy the relationship for what it is.

Rule #5 Don’t take the relationship for granted

Guys will often put a lot of energy and effort into getting a girl, but then back-off once they’ve got her.  They’ll stop going on fun dates and pay less attention to her as time goes on.  This can make a girl feel resentful and underappreciated, and turn the relationship stale.

To make sure you don’t become one of those guys continue putting effort and energy into your relationship.  Surprise your girl with little gifts, phone calls, or messages that show you how much you appreciate her.  Keep taking her on fun dates and having new experiences together.  Doing all this keeps the relationship strong and exciting, so this is a key relationship rule for men to follow.

(For additional tips on how to create a successful relationship, click here)

Rule #6 If it’s time to move on…

If the relationship no longer does it for you then it may be time to cut the cord and move on.  Some guys are hesitant to do this and will stay in the relationship until they find a new girl to date.  But this is a huge problem for two reasons:  First, it’s wildly unfair to the girl who thinks she’s in a committed relationship.  And second, if you’re not fully committed to going after that next girl it’s going to take that much longer to find her.  So if you know a relationship is over have that talk and move on.  Then you’ll be in a much better position to start a new, fresh relationship with someone else.

More relationship rules and advice

The relationship rules for men described above will help you create stronger relationships.  But just as important as creating strong relationships is being able to spot the warning signs that a relationship is in trouble.  For tips on how to do that check out this article on relationship red flags.

 

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Tales of Rock – The Theory of the 13-year Rock vs. Pop cycle – 2002– 2016 – Part 5

Cycle 5

Our 12/13-year pattern holds more-or-less true, although here it begins to deviate (+/- 2 years) just a little bit.

Although Napster joined the music ecosystem in June 1999, file-sharing didn’t really begin to have its devastating effect on the record industry until 2002 when CD sales began to fall dramatically — which, according to our 12/13 Year Theory, should have been when we see a collapse of pop and the beginning of another rock resurrection.

And indeed we did. By the spring of 2002 (12 years after the Depeche Mode riot, 26 years after the breakout of punk, 38 years after the Beatles’ landing in America and 51 years after “Rocket 88”), the Backstreet Boys/’N Sync phenomenon had grown so big that the backlash against them was catastrophic. Happy, optimistic, danceable pop seemed inappropriate in a post-9/11 era. Rock began to once again reassert itself.

This time, though, the rock we got had more in common with the environment that produced “Rocket 88” in 1951. This music bubble, largely unfiltered from the streets, channeled through independent record companies rather than major labels. While some of these bands had been around for a while — both the White Stripes and the Strokes had been formed in 1999 — it took a few years before enough people began to notice what they were on about.

Indie rock was the kindling for Cycle 5 through 2002–2004. By 2005, rock’s dominance in public consciousness was greater than it had been since any time since 1992.

Coldplay, Franz Ferdinand, and the Killers came out of nowhere. Damon Albarn reinvented himself under the guise of Gorillaz. Linkin Park shook off any early associations with nu-metal and went on to sell tens of millions of records.

Audioslave was the perfect DNA splicing of Soundgarden and Rage Against the Machine. U2, Nine Inch Nails, the Foo Fighters, the Beastie Boys, the Chili Peppers, Green Day and the Offspring all returned with hit records. Coachella exploded in California and Glastonbury became more important than ever. Even Lollapalooza came back.

But The Cycle continued. After peaking in the July of 2005 (when it seemed that every single rock band that mattered had a hit record out at the same time), rock once again slowly slipped in strength, losing ground to pop. The era of Bieber and Susan Boyle was ushered in to end off the first decade of the 21st century.

Rock fans — people who loved their music loud and aggressive — spent most of the Obama administration wondering what happened. The music softened and everything — including rock — got more poppy. Plaintive singer-songwriters with woe-is-me lyrics were everywhere. Hits came from artists with acoustic guitars, banjos, and even ukuleles. Meanwhile, on the pop side of the equation, boy bands seemed to be coming back.

But then, an unlikely savior. By mid-2016, it was apparent that Donald Trump had a serious shot at becoming the next president of the U.S. With an ultra-polarizing figure capturing the attention of the world, people opposed to his agenda, style, and politics began to make and seek out music that expressed their anger, fear, confusion and opposition. Within months, the vibe changed. A nation under Trump seemed to be better served by a nation under rock.

This brings me to another factor in The Cycle. Going back to the 1950s, booms in angry music seem to follow the election of a Republican into the White House.

Think about it. The folk movement gained traction under Eisenhower. Some of the best music of the 1960s was made during the Nixon administration. Punk came from the fall of Nixon and the ineffectual era of Gerald Ford. Hardcore punk and rap came along during the Reagan eras. Under George H. W. Bush, the world fell under the thrall and the music of the Lollapalooza generation. When we got to George W. Bush and the post-9/11 era, indie rock exploded and the music toughened up again.

Let’s look at it from the other direction. When a Democrat is in the White House, pop tends to rule. The early 1960s — Kennedy’s era — was dominated by soft sounds. During Jimmy Carter’s administration, punk turned poppy, resulting in a slew of New Wave bands who battled for attention as disco swept the world. Skip ahead to the 1990s, when the latter part of Bill Clinton’s time as president was dominated by the Spice Girls and a new generation of boy bands. And with the eight years of Obama, it was all pop, all the time.

We might be stretching things a little, but it appears that The Cycle is holding, albeit rock arrived a little late this time. By all rights, this resurrection should have begun in February or March 2014. But why the delay?

Technology has greatly disrupted how we access music. For the pattern to hold on both sides of the pop/rock equation, a great deal of consensus about what constitutes “good” (or at least popular) music is required. With everyone able to access whatever music they want, whenever they want it, consensus amongst music fans is extremely hard to come by.

Another thing to consider: the pop-rock battle has been joined by a third player. Hip-hop has grown to become the driving musical force in culture, relegating rock to second place in many countries, including the U.S., the biggest music market in the world. Pop has absorbed much hip-hop influence, giving it new strength in its struggle against rock. Could this disrupt things? Very possibly.

Or maybe there’s some greater power at work here, something unalterably eternal like the precession of the poles. The Cycle bears watching. Here, in the early months of 2018, we have indeed swung back to the rock side of the ledger, with rock growing louder and more angry. It should stay that way until at least 2020 — which, as it turns out, happens to be the next time Americans elect a president.

 

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The Beach House – Chapter 9

You’re stunning.” I realized I wasn’t looking at her face. I was entranced by her womanly curves and two of the most perfect breasts. Maturity had relaxed them ever so slightly which made them all the more inviting. I could have spent a lifetime exploring them.

“Compliments won’t get you out of it.” She had moved her hands to her hips and she widened her smile. All I really saw was breasts when I began unbuttoning my shirt. Mia knew where my eyes were. She giggled and made her breasts bounce. I ripped the last button off my shirt, and it went bouncing into the grass. I dropped my shirt onto the patio and began undoing my pants. The stupid zipper got stuck for a moment, which forced me to move my eyes. I didn’t realize how aroused I had become until I looked down. Embarrassed, I lowered my pants slowly trying to think about mergers and stock reports. It didn’t work—all I could think of were those breasts. My boxers were terribly tented, and I tried to cover myself.

Mia moved in close and pushed her breasts into my chest as she leaned into me for a passionate kiss. Her right hand traveled down my side and into the elastic of my boxers. She gently wrapped her hand around my hard-on, and I barely held back a groan. “I’m glad I turn you on.” She whispered in my ear.

“God, I want to swim with you.” I gasped as she gave me a little squeeze. Mia broke out in laughter. It washed over me as I realized what I said and began to join in. I hadn’t realized that she was turning me around, steering me by my cock. She pushed. The last thing I saw when I entered the pool was two gorgeous breasts bouncing from the effort. I tried not to laugh underwater as I removed my now soaking shorts. It was difficult with a raging hard-on. I swam to the surface to find her still laughing at the side of the pool. God, she was beautiful. I threw my now-wadded shorts at her and got her right in the leg. She gave me a faux angry look and dove in after me.

I didn’t swim away. I let her catch me. I just pulled her lips to mine and kissed her in the sun. I felt young again. The world couldn’t be more perfect. We swam and played. I splashed her and let her win the ensuing water war. We cuddled, drifted, and talked of unimportant things. We just simply enjoyed each other. We ended up on the shallow end stairs. I was caressing her thigh when I let my hand slowly drift between her legs. Her hand met mine there, and she lifted it to her lips and kissed it.

“Dale, my body is still kind of messed up. It’s going to take a few more days before I’m ready for anything more.” Mia sounded like she thought she was disappointing me. I thought I was being rude.

“I’m sorry.” I said stroking the side of her face. “I didn’t mean to move so fast.” I vowed I would let her set the speed from here on. She floated on top of me practically nose to nose. I felt her hand close around my manhood.

“I’m not sorry you tried.” She whispered. She began slowly stroking my member, her eyes inches from mine. “I do want to have you inside me.” The intensity of her eyes and her words generated electricity in my groin. She smiled when she felt my hips react to her manipulations. She became more deliberate in her strokes. “You won’t be able to keep me off you.” Her hand was speeding up, and my hips began to jerk uncontrollably. I moaned into her mouth, my eyes never leaving hers. I tenderly grabbed her hips to keep myself in place. She had me and she knew it. “We’ll make love over and over my darling.” Weirdly, it was the “my darling” that sent me over the edge. A simple term of endearment.

“Oh, God,” I moaned as her mouth closed over mine. My hips jerked and I spewed into the water. Her tongue began to fight with mine as I came again. Her breasts dragged across my chest and caused my climax to lengthen. My legs were no longer responding to my direction and forced my hips forward as the last of my orgasm faded into the water. She was still tenderly caressing my cock as our lips became unlocked.

I couldn’t believe how wonderful a real sexual experience was. I have paid to make my dick happy in the past, but it never really lived up to the hype. When the woman was participating without any cash incentive, just wanting to make me feel good, it was on a different level all by itself.

“I really love swimming with you.” I said dreamily into her eyes. I loved to hear her laughter. After seeing her in so much pain, it was heaven-sent. I held her as my body recovered and her laughter subsided. I almost told her I loved her right there. I was afraid it would scare her and send her running. No, I could wait. I just gave her a kiss instead. “I need a shower.”

“And a shave,” she said stroking my shadow. I stood on the steps and offered her my hand. I rose, naked, with a beautiful woman on my arm. Three days ago, I was a confirmed bachelor satisfied with my ignorance. I only really trusted one other person, and it took Monica years to earn that trust. I have entrusted Mia with my heart in two days. It was risky, and I don’t hurt well. I would just have to never give her a reason to crush it.

Without asking, I steered Mia to the bathroom and started the shower. She didn’t hesitate or question my intentions. It was surreal compared to my past experiences with people. She followed me into the steam with a smile matching mine. I wanted to know all of her. I wanted her to know that I wanted to know all of her.

I soaked Mia’s hair and massaged in some shampoo. Her hair seemed so silky as I pulled the shampoo down to the long ends that fell to the small of her back. She loved when I spend time at the base of her neck and behind the ears. It was all very sensual until I got shampoo in her eye. It broke the spell and she laughed, looking at me with one eye squeezed shut. I wiped what I could and steered her to the shower spray. She leaned back into the stream to wash out the shampoo. This move pushed her chest out. It was too beautiful to ignore. I grabbed the bar of soap and began to slowly suds up her breasts. It brought a giggle since she was still preoccupied trying to clear her eye.

I was mesmerized. I had never had a pair of breasts to play with. They were soft but firm. I ran my fingers across the nipples, and they grew. I felt proud making them stand up like that. I liked lifting them and watching them fall back to natural. They were so smooth. “Are they really that dirty?” I looked past Mia’s smile and into her eyes.

“Filthy, absolutely filthy!” I tried to look serious to make up for my moment of obsession. It was hard to hold back a smile. Playing with her boobies was way too much fun. She leaned into me and gave me a little peck but never removed my roving hands. I continued with the rest of her body more clinically. I spent only seconds between her legs trying to not make any sexual overtures. I spent extra time collecting mini moans as I rubbed her back and shoulders with sudsy hands. This was without a doubt the best shower I had ever had.

Mia grabbed the soap and began exploring my body. I enjoyed her tender hands stroking my chest and got quite a tinge when she squeezed my butt. When she arrived at my half mast cock, she looked into my eyes and began slowly stroking it. My dick got a bit angry when I grabbed her hand away and brought it to my lips for a kiss. “I want to wait for you.” I wanted it to sound like it was laced with love, but I didn’t realize how much soap was on her hand. I kind spit it out.

Mia ignored the how and just heard what I said. Her lips locked on mine and I our tongues did a slow waltz. Even with the slight taste of soap mixing with the kiss, neither of us wanted it to stop. It was only the need to take a proper breath that finally ended it. The kiss brought me to full arousal. I ignored it as I rinsed myself clean. A small case of blue balls was worth what that kiss promised. I shut off the shower and passed out the towels.

When I handed her my robe, I remembered that Mia still didn’t have any clothes. “Should we stop by your place to pick up some of your things?” I was surprised when she hesitated, almost like she wasn’t sure how to answer. She made a few aborted attempts to say something, looking at the floor then up to me.

“I’m really not ready to go back there.” Her face was sad, but her eyes looked hopefully at me. I knew I was going to accept the statement. I also knew she was hiding something more sinister than memories. It wasn’t time for her to tell me. I loved her, so I knew I might let her get away with never telling me. I was still curious.

“Well, we can dress you funny in my sweats and a T-shirt and go shopping tomorrow.” I made it sound like it would be fun. I wanted her to know I wouldn’t press on her past.

“Dale, I’m not sure I can afford a shopping trip right now.” She started to re-dry her legs to give her an excuse not to look up at me. I never even considered that she would think I intended her to pay for it. I was kind of flabbergasted at the thought. I spoke without thinking.

“Mia, money is the only thing we never have to worry about.” It just came out. I could have said it a hundred different ways that would have come out better. I couldn’t believe I just let on that my money was her money. I might as well have asked her to marry me. Mia stopped moving. When she lifted up her watery eyes, I got scared.

“There are things you don’t know about me.” She wasn’t looking at me. She was looking at the wall behind me. “I’m not a good person and certainly don’t deserve any of this.” Tears were flowing and my heart was hurting. “I won’t ever tell you, because I couldn’t stand you hating me.” Her head dropped back to the floor, and her hand covered her eyes. I dropped my naked ass to the floor, and my head fell forward in a slump.

“I didn’t want to say it that way. It just came out.” I was blubbering more, chastising myself. “I don’t know how to talk to girls. I’ve never known how to talk to anyone.” I was trying desperately not to start crying myself. “I’m sorry if I like you too much. I just don’t know what do or say.” I was sure I just screwed everything up. Mia started crying harder. I looked up at her, “I don’t care about your secrets; I just don’t want you to leave.” She looked down to me.

“We are two sorry fucked-up individuals.” It came out between her sobs. It sounded so much better than “get the fuck out of here!” but I started sympathetically tearing anyway.

“I want to buy clothes and stuff.” It sounded stupid when it came out, but out it came none the less. I was trying not to start sobbing. Mia dropped to the floor with me, still crying, and hugged me close.

“Okay,” she half cried into my ear. Thank God I didn’t scare her off. We stayed on the floor for what seemed like forever. We just hugged until we could face each other again without tearing up.

“I don’t feel like shaving now.” I said as a matter of fact.

“I don’t care if you do or not.” She said as she stood up and pulled me up with her. She led me to the bed and dropped the robe and climbed in. I shut off the lights and tucked my naked body next to hers. We didn’t say a word. We just held each other until we fell asleep.

 

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8 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Has A Cold Heart

“A person with a cold heart can only show their love by being cold.” – PureDragonWolf

What does it mean to have a ‘cold heart’? Usually, a ‘cold heart’ describes someone who is emotionally unavailable. They are not a warm or loving type of person.

“…I perceive so-called “cold people” as, more than anything else, people who are shut-down, repressed, and out of touch with their deeper feelings. Further, emotionally alienated from themselves, they can hardly be expected to express to others feelings that they themselves are unable to access,” says clinical psychologist and author, Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D.

Getting involved with someone who has a ‘cold heart’ can often lead to heartbreak for the individual in question. People who have ‘cold hearts’ have certain behaviors that make them easy to spot, however.

Here Are 8 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Has A ‘Cold Heart’

1. They don’t ask you about yourself

A cold-hearted person doesn’t often show much interest in the person they’re with. Whether the relationship is romantic or platonic, a cold-hearted person has very little interest in other people. They won’t ask you questions about yourself. Or, if they do, it’s to learn information that is useful to them in some way.

2. They’re distant

Not just physically, but emotionally. It may seem like they’re never really “all there” when you’re having a conversation. They keep a lot of their feelings to themselves. Someone who has a ‘cold heart’ will rarely ever open up about their emotional vulnerabilities. They simply keep their distance, no matter what.

3. Something is always ‘missing’

You just can’t connect with a person who has a cold heart. When you’re with them, it may always feel like there’s a piece of something ‘missing’ from the relationship. Whether the relationship is romantic, platonic, or familial, a cold-hearted person will always have a hard time connecting with the people in their lives. Something is ‘missing’, and it’s usually an emotional connection.

4. Manipulative

Someone with a ‘cold heart’ will often try to control the people around them through manipulation. This is because they often lack empathy for other people. “Manipulators often voice assumptions about your intentions or beliefs and then react to them as if they were true in order to justify their feelings or actions, all the while denying what you say in the conversation,” says Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT.

A cold-hearted person will try to manipulate everyone around them. They may try to get close to people and find out information that is useful to them. They will often have skeletons in their closets, and a list of people that they have manipulated for one reason or another.

5. No good relationships

Someone with a ‘cold heart’ will have no good relationships in their past. “Emotionally unavailable people see a relationship as a source of comfort — something to occupy their time until something better comes along,” says author and relationship expert Sarah Rusca Cline.

They may often characterize their ex-partners as “crazy”. They have a string of bad relationships left in their wake. They can’t seem to settle down with one person. They also may have a disconnect from their family. A person with a ‘cold heart’ is also not likely to have very many close friends, either. Keep an eye out for this person’s past and present relationships.

6. Self-centered

Me, me, me. Someone with a ‘cold heart’ will often be focused on how everything affects them – even when it doesn’t. “Unconsciously viewing others as “extensions” of themselves, they regard them as existing primarily to serve their own needs—just as they routinely put their needs before everyone else’s…” says Dr. Seltzer

They tend to be incredibly self-centered. This type of behavior manifests in playing the victim or trying to one-up someone. If you get a promotion, a cold-hearted person will be able to make it about them, somehow. They might say they got a better promotion (even if they didn’t).

7. Lying

Lying is a behavior to watch out for when it comes to someone with a ‘cold heart’. Lying is a part of manipulation, which a cold-hearted person uses to control the people around them. They may lie about things that don’t really matter, like what they did that day, or what school they went to. A cold-hearted person may also lie about big things.

Usually, someone with a ‘cold heart’ will lie about their past relationships, or any falling out with friends. “…you’ll see a history of his fabricated storytelling and wonder to yourself how you could have ever believed some of those absurd lies in the first place,” says divorce recovery coach Cindy Holbrook. They lie to make themselves seem more sympathetic.

8. Treat others poorly

Someone with a ‘cold heart’ will often show their hand. “They exhibit a constant need to talk about (display) themselves in flattering and egotistical ways, with frequent reminders of their superior and envy-worthy dispositions,” says professor, author and private coach, Preston Ni.

In this case, keep an eye out for the way they treat people that they deem ‘beneath’ them in the social hierarchy. How they treat anyone in the service industry should be observed closely. You should also keep an eye out for how they treat homeless people, as well. A person with a cold heart won’t have the empathy to treat these types of people as human beings worthy of respect.

Final thoughts

Getting mixed up with someone who has a ‘cold heart’ can be taxing. However, knowing all of the signs will put you ahead of the game. Don’t be afraid to remove yourself from the life of a person who is cold-hearted. Everyone deserves to have healthier and happier relationships than ones with cold-hearted people.

 

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A Unique Gift – Chapter 16

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Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly