My Experience at an Asian Massage Parlor

Here’s a story one of my followers sent me…

Thank you Joe R.

So during the summer of my junior year I was staying in in town over the summer working as a certified nursing assistant and taking a chemistry course through the university. I had joined a gym to get back into shape and maybe lose a couple pounds. It had been awhile since I weight-lifted and anyone who’s been in that boat knows how sore you are after the first couple times getting back on the horse.

While, on my drive to work out, I kept passing a dilapidated white building with a bright red sign reading “Asian Massage” on the outside. I mean, this thing was a glorified shack. The first time I passed by gave me a chuckle. The stereotypical Asian massage parlor with happy endings had long been ingrained in my mind. I had seen plenty of jokes and portrayals of the places in pop culture, but I took them with a grain of salt. Surly most things like that hold some grain of truth, but I was skeptical any but a small fraction actually operated like that. Still….it got me thinking.

I would like to say that my reasoning for my trip there the following week was purely out of rationality. I was really sore and stiff from working out. The parlor was close and probably didn’t charge as much as some of the…..we’ll go with, more established massage businesses in the area. Although, to be truthful with myself, it was mainly out of curiosity. Now, did I go in there expecting anything, not at all. It was surly in the back of my mind, but I thought the stereotype was overblown. There also wasn’t anyway I was going to ask about it. How would one even go about doing something like that? There is also a conception that Asian massages are rougher, which is exactly what I needed for my sore muscles. The expectation was I would get a good massage and at least be able to put some context to the stereotype.

*Disclaimer: When I refer to Asian massage, I simply mean a massage where the techniques are derived from Chinese or Asian culture and not necessarily performed by a person of Asian descent, although that it true a majority of the time.

Back to the story,

I parked my car in one of the two spots they had and gained my composure for a minute. I could feel the butterflies rising in my stomach and felt my heartbeat picking up. I felt as though I was breaking the law or guilty of some misdeed as I did have a girlfriend at the time. I thought for a moment to just leave and get a massage somewhere else, but my damn curiosity wouldn’t let me. I needed to know. So, I entered the dimply lit building.

Complete exaggeration, but might have well been the place with how I felt going in

There was a stairwell that led upstairs and then a door that I presumed was the parlor. I entered the later and was met by a dark room with a counter and couch and several doors jetting out from there. Traditional Chinese decoration covered the walls and music played prominently throughout. I was greeted at the counter by a middle-aged woman with a thick accent.

“Welkom, welkom, do you have an appointment”.

I managed to stammer out a “no”. My eyes were wide with a combination of discomfort and naivety.

She said that was okay and pointed to a chart with different times, prices and what each massage entailed. She started to explain them. I simply choose the half hour option because it was the cheapest. She then led me to a back room that held a massage table and chair with a stereo that played the music. She asked If I ever had a massage before. I hadn’t and she told me to put my clothes there and then get under the sheets. I asked, “all my clothes”? She said yes, then swiftly exited. I could hear her talking to another woman in Chinese.

I started taking off my clothes, throwing them on the chair, but stopped at my boxers. Surly she didn’t mean EVERYTHING, just down to my boxers. Although, I did ask all clothes. Never having a massage before I didn’t know if that was normal. At first it didn’t seem like that would be the case, but you did get under a towel so it wasn’t like you were exposed or anything. I needed to make a decision so I went with the full nude option.

At this point you might be reading and thinking dude, really? Full Nude? You think that was reasonable? To those I say yes, at the time, but thinking about it in hindsight, probably not the norm.

Anywho, I’m settled in and finally breathe a sigh of relaxation just before she returns. I let my head sink into the hole with my body going limp. She enters and immediately begins giggling.

“Oh no silly, too many towels”. She immediately rips them off me! Exposing my naked body on the table.

I shoot up completely nude and for a couple seconds she just stares at me and I back at her. I watch her gaze travel the length of my body as I try to cover up, then she begins laughing again. This time even more.

“It okay, it okay, not all clothes but okay. Here, lie on the table”. I sheepishly jump back on the table and begin to apologize. I was embarrassed to say the least. She took her sweet time placing the smaller towel to cover me then left the room again. I was cursing myself for being so stupid. She left for a moment and outside I could hear her talking and laughing with another employee in Chinese (undoubtedly about me). She returned and started the massage. It started out really nice, with oil and stretching out my limbs and deep tissue massages to my muscles. I was sinking into relaxation and starting to forget about the awkward start.

She asked where I worked and other common conversation mannerisms. The first question she asked though was where I was from. I paused for a moment because I could try to use my origin to explain earlier, implying that it was perhaps different in other cultures. I blurted out Nigeria, the first African country I could think of, and she gave a long, “oohhhh”.

Disclaimer 2: I do not think it is normal cultural practice that Nigerians, or for that fact other African cultures have the practice of getting naked during a massage, but I needed a culture foreign to her and my skin tone funneled me to that answer.

I quickly followed up with, “I moved when I was younger” to account for my lack of accent.

The massage continued without incident until she got on top of the table startling my back and sitting on my butt. I was a little confused because that seemed an outside the bounds of what a normal massage would be and of course in my previse mind ushered in other thoughts of what could be going on.

I wasn’t able to think too much more as a jackhammer plunged into my back. 

My head shot up from the table. I wanted to let out a yell from the pain, but I didn’t want to be rude or seem like a wimp, so I bit my tongue. Another shot came down right on my spine. What the hell was this woman trying to do, paralyze me? I started to think it was punishment for my earlier embarrassment. The pain train went right on trucking as elbows were buried deep into my pressure points. That soon subsided thankfully and I let out a breath. For a few moments I felt relaxed and loose, the beating was a good pain. But no sooner did I relax, then my arm was twisted back. It was pulled into a position I don’t ever think it has gone, nor will again and I kid you not I thought my arm was about to tear or pull out of the socket. She must’ve felt my body convulse because she let up almost immediately. The stretching continued for a little while and then she left the room again. She left the room several times during the massage to talk to what must’ve been another employee because I could hear them. They sounded like they were arguing. I kept thinking it was about me and I hoping it didn’t cut into my half an hour.

She returned and finished the massage with a more relaxing touch, culminating with an abrupt , “all done”. It was a fast half hour and I wanted longer, but It was worth it. She left the room again and I put on my clothes. When I emerged, and approached the front counter she asked how I liked it and I told her very much. It was just what I needed for my sore muscles and it really was. For how unorthodox it seemed, I really felt amazing. While paying she told me next time to come back for an hour and they would do my front. My head shot up from counting my money and she just smiled back. Well hot damn, maybe there was something to these places after all……

Hope you enjoyed and got a laugh steemians. If by some lottery chance this gets 100 upvotes I will share what happened when I returned to this parlor.

 

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7 New Year’s Resolutions That Can Be Toxic AF, Because You Are Enough as You Are

http://va.topbuzz.com/s/ZcMTxcp

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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15 Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

The wish to be liked by the opposite sex is natural, and that’s the reason why girls trying to find the answer to the question “What do men like?” end up improving those parts of their bodies they think will drive any man crazy.

We wondered what answer men themselves would give to this question. Some of their answers surprised us very much.

15. The ability to find a way out of awkward situations

Men keep repeating that they are attracted by the naturalness both in behavior and in appearance. It turns out that your reaction to unexpected situations is also important. If a girl can admit that she made a mistake instead of trying to justify it or getting angry, it’s a true way of getting the admiration of an interested male.

14. Kindness

Men always notice kind deeds, especially if they are considering this girl for a long-lasting relationship. Even scientists have proof of this fact. It’s not for nothing that they say good returns; as it turns out, it returns as an increased attention from men.

13. Emotional condition

According to men, one of the most unpleasant female types is girls with a negative outlook on the world. Men notice everything that troubles you in life and worsens your mood every now and then: nasty work, quarrels with parents, sufferings from unfulfilled dreams. They start to associate your image with anguish while they want to have a source of positivity. This is why they easily get charmed by happy women who are able to enjoy life.

You won’t manage to pretend for a long time because your man will notice how suppressed you are inside even if you will be trying your best to seem the happiest person in the world. That’s why you should learn to find simple joys in daily life. First of all, though, it’s you who need it the most.

12. Nails

Many girls are sure that nobody except for the manicure master is interested in their nails. However, it appears that men appreciate well-groomed hands (though they may not notice the exact nail polish color or the shape of your nails) as that helps them to identify how well the girl takes care of herself.

11. Financial condition

Women wanted equality of rights and they got it. That’s the reason why not only women look at the financial condition of men but vice versa as well. Yes, this topic is very delicate, but it’s important. Hence, be sure that men ask about your finances not out of curiosity but to draw some conclusions as well. If you earn more money than he does, he might need some time to understand if he is able to face such a situation. If you earn less than him, he might need this time to determine if your interests are not solely financial in nature.

10. Self-esteem

Men like to compliment women who themselves know they are worth those words and they hate to reassure those women who are used to neglecting their beauty. There is no less an attractive woman for men than the one who always questions her own beauty.

The confidence in being beautiful usually compensates any imaginary or real flaws in appearance. By realizing it, one can easily become the very pretty woman that men dream about.

9. Attitude to other girls

If you gave an unkind look to a pretty girl passing by, or, moreover, you let yourself make an unpleasant comment about her, you can be sure that your man noticed it and interpreted it as having a full set of complexes together with an envious and incisive character.

8. Style

Some men are not that good when it comes to following the latest fashion trends, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t care about the way a girl looks. Your style can be a decisive factor for introducing himself to you because every man has his opinion on how his dream girl should look. Some will not dare to approach a girl with bright hair while others are conversely repelled by clichés. This is why one should never adjust to other people’s tastes — you won’t be able to be equally liked by everyone.

7. Footwear

Yes, men are extremely attentive to the person they are interested in- from nails to footwear. No, they don’t try to identify the designer of your shoes or to remember the rules of color combinations between shoes and bags; they pay attention to how comfortable you feel in your footwear. When a girl puts on shoes with a huge and unstable heel, it only brings irritation and the wish to finish the date as soon as possible.

6. The number of friends

For men, it’s important that their girlfriend has her own life with real friends with whom she has gone through fire and water. They get alarmed by the absence of close friend and having many acquaintances that keep changing every now and then.

5. Anything backless

Not an inner quality, though, but still worth mentioning. Backless tops and dresses are a great and easy way of showing a little skin while keeping things classy. They are super feminine — it’s a very sexy and womanly way of revealing a part of your body without opening too much.

4. Laughter

Without many words here, girls that are not afraid to show their emotions always bewitch men.

3. Sense of humor

When describing a perfect girl you will always find such a point as a sense of humor. The research only proves that girls who can make funny jokes and understand them as well seem to be more attractive. Those who don’t possess this set of qualities are not considered to be as lovable.

2. Tiredness

It’s a well-known fact that insomnia and the lack of sleep don’t make us attractive and even cosmetics won’t be able to hide the information about our daily regime from a man. In one study, men were shown photos of attractive women, some of whom had 8-9 hours the night before and others who hadn’t slept at all. Those who did not sleep seemed less attractive, sad, and aggressive to men.

1. Aspirations

We live in a world full of events and rhythms. That is probably the reason why a wish to live a full life to turn big, crazy dreams and plans into realities and to aspire to reach new heights while still searching for sources of inspiration is a very important factor for making girls attractive to men. Passivity and laziness in girls turn modern men off. However, women are also not attracted to this kind of men. Do you agree?

Are there any other factors you would add to this list? Please share them in the comments!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am EST.

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Dating and Relationship Advice – 10 Truths Women Above 25 Years Should Know.

It’s dangerous if not suicidal for a lady to enter 30 years still carrying the traits of her teenage days. Admittedly, the teenage days are absolutely fantastic but you can’t carry them along as you grow older.

There are some things as a lady you need to learn as you grow older and there some things you defiantly have to unlearn as you grow.

Here are 10 Truths every woman above 25 years should know. Read and implement them if you are not already doing that and DON’T FORGET TO SHARE!

1. You need to stop caring about what other people think about you. You should learn to be yourself. When you start being yourself and less of what others think of you, life gets better because the expectation of pleasing others is removed.

2. At this stage in most women’s lives, they start thinking of settling down. Just because your friends are getting married doesn’t mean you should rush into one. Get married because you feel you’re ready and you have found the right one and not because that person is the only choice you have.

3. Being in a relationship just for the sake of having a boyfriend was cool in your younger years but I believe at this stage of your life, you should see potential in a relationship before heading into it. If you don’t see longevity in the relationship you are in, it’s best you quit.

4. Stop trying to please everyone because it’s really impossible doing so. You should also understand that when you say no, you do not have to justify your no.

5. It’s time to let go of the negative friends in your life. You do not have to put up with all those negative vibes.

6. You can’t be free if you don’t forgive. You must have been hurt by several people at this stage of your life but you need to forgive because when you don’t forgive, you stop yourself from being happy.

7. Make giving a habit. It’s rewarding investing your time in putting a smile on someone’s face. When you make giving a habit, you begin to see life differently.

8. At this stage in your life, you should have started savings. I wonder what you are waiting for if you don’t have savings. Start saving for the unexpected today.

9. Love who you are and stop comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to others does nothing but destroy your self-worth. There will always be someone prettier, or curvier than you. Learn to accept yourself for who you really are. Stop trying to be someone else.

10. A relationship is a two-way street. It shouldn’t be just you trying to make the relationship work. Compromising is important in every relationship but you should understand that your partner also has to meet you halfway. It’s time you quit that relationship if it is one-sided.

 

Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject!

 

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Celebrity Sightings: Farrah Fawcett – 1947 to 2009 – Life Uncovered – Part 4

Badmouthing Her Besties

When it came to her close friends and former co-stars Kate Jackson and Jaclyn Smith, Fawcett never had a bad word to say about them and reacted well when people would try to pry into any drama that occurred between them while filming. During an interview with controversial radio host Howard Stern, he kept trying to get Fawcett to badmouth Jackson and Smith but she refused, explaining that there was nothing but love between them. Farrah had their backs!

The Farrah-Flip

You know that a star has reached new levels of fame when a haircut is named after them! Fawcett’s signature blonde and feathered hairstyle actually has its own name! If you want to get your hair cut like Farrah’s, all you have to do is say that you want the “Farrah-do” or the “Farrah-flip.” Using these magic words in any salon should get you a cut and or color to match that of the late movie star’s.

The Dating Game

Before Fawcett was famous, she was a contestant on The Dating Game! It was a game show where a woman was given a choice of three single men. She could talk to them, but she could not see them until the end! You can bet that these men were dancing in their seats and trying to make an excellent impression to win their ways into the heart of the blond haired-blue-eyed beauty. Do you really blame them?

Baby Naming

When it comes to picking a name for your baby, especially when it’s a girl, most parents want to choose a name that people will associate with a beauty icon or famous actress. Right after Charlie’s Angels made its big debut, Farrah quickly became one of the most popular baby names in the United States! But you have to admit, Farah is a pretty catchy name. It can also be seen as an alternative to the popular name Sarah.

Contacting The Departed

Just when we thought that Fawcett was close with her former co-stars, her relationship with Tori Spelling proved to be even closer, but in an interesting way. Farrah used to be neighbors with Tori Spelling, and the two had developed such a connection that Spelling was able to contact her even after she left this world. Spelling said that she visited a psychic who helped her talk to Farrah after she had passed away. We wonder what they chatted about.

Cover Girl

Farrah rose to stardom rather quickly, and it was only a matter of time before she was literally everywhere. That means billboards, shampoo bottles, and even a Super Bowl commercial, but some of her favorite work was modeling for magazines. Fawcett has appeared in noteworthy magazines such as Bazaar, Elle, Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and Time, but she stated that being in Playboy was the highlight of her life. We’re sure that her spread in the magazine was also a highlight of other people’s lives as well.

Farrah Went Plastic

It’s every girl’s dream to enter the world of plastic becoming a Barbie doll, literally! After years of fame on both the big and small screens, Fawcett finally joined the ranks of other stars who have had one of the classic dolls modeled after them. The iconic image of Farrah in a red swimsuit was ultimately recreated in a limited edition Barbie doll complete with a gold chain and her signature girl-next-door golden locks. The likeness is uncanny!

Midnight Plane To Houston

Fawcett and her former husband Lee Majors served as the inspiration for the song Midnight Train to Georgia. Singer/songwriter Jim Weatherly, who was a friend of Majors, phoned him, but the call was answered by Fawcett. As Weatherly and Fawcett chatted, she told him she was going to visit her mother and was taking “the midnight plane to Houston.” Although Majors and Fawcett were both successful at that time, Weatherly used them as characters in his song.

Reclaiming Her Fame

Farrah may have been America’s favorite calendar girl when she was on Charlie’s Angels, but her film career was not as successful and eventually began to decline after she starred in Sunburn, Somebody Killed Her Husband, and Saturn 3. Farrah made a remarkable comeback after finding her niche in made-for-TV movies, specifically those based on real stories, and was awarded much praise for her role in the 1984 television movie, The Burning Bed, which tells an emotional tale of domestic abuse.

The Best-Selling Poster In History

You know the picture of Farrah that everybody knows? The one with the famous one-piece red bathing suit? Well, that’s the best-selling poster in history! The photo which was spontaneously taken resulted in the 1976 poster that wound up plastered on millions of bedroom walls. The photographer used a blanket from Mexico that served as the seat cover for his beat-up 1937 Chevy pickup with colors that matched the suit. Original copies of the poster now run anywhere from $299.99 to $399.99 on Amazon.

(I own one in mint condition still rolled in its plastic tube!)

Isn’t it weird she died from cancer?

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice – 10 Habits That Make You More Attractive

Daily loving, self-care is a habit that can make you more attractive to others. There are many ways to treat yourself right that can make a visible difference on the outside as well as the inside.

Prioritizing self before others can feel selfish, but it is vital for your health, well-being and wholeheartedness. Your self-confidence is attractive to others, so nourishing this inner resource is important. Let’s look at 10 daily habits that make you more attractive.

10 Habits That Make You More Attractive

When we think of attractiveness, we usually think of things that affect our physical appearance. However, not all attractiveness is external. Being attractive emotionally, spiritually and mentally is just as important for finding the right mate.

1. Connect with people deeply

We are attracted to people like us, and we also find likable people attractive. Being likable is easy; be more interested in hearing about the other person than you are in telling about yourself.

Ask probing questions to understand the background behind people’s actions, preferences, and stories. What is this person like when they are at home alone? What are their fears and dreams?

2. Treat friendships as a priority

Friends don’t let friendships grow apart. By nourishing your friendships, you practice the skills necessary to sustain a happy romantic relationship as well.

Friends make you smile, and smiling is always an attractive habit.

3. Live in the present moment

In a study of attractiveness in a speed-dating situation, women found men more attractive if they measured higher in mindfulness. This appears to only go one way for the sexes, as men in the study did not find mindful women to be more attractive.

Mindfulness is peaceful self-awareness. It is the knowledge that in the present moment, everything is just as it should be. Mindfulness is attractive because we shift focus away from anxiety or depression while we focus on the now. Mindful people tend to be more emotionally balanced.

4. Move your body

Obviously physical exercise keeps a body in shape, and healthy bodies are more attractive than unhealthy ones. This is especially true of males and females who are looking for healthy partners with whom they hope to raise a family.

When we think of someone who is attractive, they almost always possess grace in their movements. Balance and stretching, as well as mindful movements, will help you to present yourself as an attractive partner.

5. Nourish yourself with excellent food

Nourishing your insides helps nourish your skin. Radiant skin is always attractive, and beauty starts from the inside. Think about a potential mate watching you as you eat. Would your potential mate be more attracted to you if they saw you eating some greasy fast food or dining on a gourmet vegan meal that you had made yourself?

6. Know your self-worth

Be sure of your value. Be confident in the fact that you are intrinsically valuable as a human being and more so because of your character, intelligence and kind actions. It’s been said before that confidence is sexy, and self-love is the best way to build self-confidence.

Project your value with your head held high. Meet the gaze of others directly and say to yourself ‘I would make a great catch for the partner who is worthy of me.’ Be careful not to cross the line into arrogance. Aim for an attitude of self-assurance.

7. Have excellent sleep habits

Sleep ensures that our bodies are able to replenish their depleted resources. Making a habit of getting good rest also means that you’ll look better physically; your skin will look healthy and your eyes will shine!

Mentally, well-rested people are better able to cope with stress and less likely to fail to manage their emotions. Good sleep is a good self-care habit that can also make you more attractive to your potential mate.

8. Make it a habit to have down time

Self-care includes some time with no stress or concerns. Make sure to release stress by enjoying plenty of down time. Again, visualize your ideal mate watching you as you relax. Choose an activity that feeds your soul like mindfulness meditation, yoga, or reading.

9. Forgive and learn from mistakes

Self-improvement means constantly learning. Studies that question males and females about desirable traits in a mate show that ‘psychological traits are important in human mating, with both sexes valuing intelligence and kindness very highly.’

Intelligence doesn’t have to mean that you have a degree. You can demonstrate intelligence to a potential mate by learning from mistakes and handling it well when you make one. You can demonstrate self-kindness by forgiving yourself for making a mistake in the first place, then, show what you’ve learned by avoiding the mistake in the future.

10. Take immense pleasure in simple things

In every moment, you have a choice to be happy or angry/sad/afraid. Choose joy and gratitude no matter the situation. This moment and the smile on your face could lead you to find the mate that’s right for you and who has their own matching inner and outer attractiveness.

 

And above ALL things, it’s most important to remember that you will be loved not for who you aren’t but for exactly who you truly ARE. This list is only meant to help bring you closer to that truly authentic, loving, attractive self.

 

Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on this post!

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice – Surprising Traits Men (and women) Find Attractive

They say that beauty is only skin deep, but there’s no denying that those first impressions are important ones. Ever wonder what men are really noticing, and what they really, honestly find the most attractive? Fortunately, there have been at least a handful of studies that have tried to find out just what men (and women) find attractive in their prospective partners, and it turns out that sometimes, it’s so hardwired into us that we don’t even realize what we’re looking for… until we find it.

Blue eyes (but only sometimes)

In theory, blondes have more fun. And what’s more wholesome than a blue-eyed blonde? Brown-eyed girls shouldn’t despair, though, as a study from the University of Tromso in Norway suggests that when it comes to potential mates, it’s only blue-eyed men that show a preference for blue-eyed women.

The study is pretty fascinating stuff. It asked 443 individuals a series of questions based on the hair and eye color of their current and past partners. They also presented participants with a series of photos in which the models’ eyes had been manipulated to change color, while leaving the rest of their appearance the same. They found that while women and brown-eyed men showed no preference over selecting partners (or being attracted to) any particular eye color, they also found that blue-eyed men overwhelmingly chose (and were attracted to) blue-eyed women.

The study also suggests there’s a very practical reason for this, and it’s all down to genetics. If you think back to some of the earliest things you learned about genetics in junior high, it’s that blue eyes are recessive. The only way a child can have blue eyes is to be born to two blue-eyed parents, or to two people who each carry part of the recessive gene for blue eyes. When two blue-eyed parents have a brown-eyed child, there could be something fishy going on. Blue-eyed people don’t carry the genes for brown eyes (they’d have brown eyes themselves), so the reasoning goes that a blue-eyed man will be more attracted to a blue-eyed woman. The study’s authors say that, conscious or subconscious, blue-eyed men’s preference for blue-eyed women might be linked to one extra layer of paternity protection.

 

An “older” appearance

It can be tough when those first few gray hairs show up, or when you realize that you’re suddenly in the next higher age bracket. But according to a joint study between psychologists from the University of St. Andrews and the University of Liverpool, a more mature appearance is exactly what some men find the most attractive.

Generally, cultures have a set of norms about what they consider attractive — that’s what makes a movie star universally admired, for example. Researchers wanted to find out how our personal experiences helped shape what we as individuals find attractive, so they looked at whether or not the faces we’re exposed to as children impact what we’re attracted to as adults. They found that it absolutely does, at least, when men are looking for a long-term partner.

The study found that men who were born to “older” mothers (those over 30) were more likely to find older women more attractive when they were looking for long-term relationships. While men who were only thinking in the short term didn’t show the same preferences, there was a definite correlation between the age of a man’s parents and his choice in women. While the mechanism that’s at work here isn’t entirely understood, it’s suggested that when looking for a long-term partner, there’s something about the influence of the first committed, long-term relationship we’re in (the parent-child relationship) that helps provide us with feelings of security as adults.

 

Similar characteristics to parents

Other studies suggest that parents’ influence on what characteristics men find attractive goes even beyond age. Another study from the University of St. Andrews looked at a phenomenon known as imprinting, well known to exist in the animal world and, until recently, largely unexplored in humans.

The study looked at how likely men (and women) are to be attracted to certain hair and eye color in their chosen partners, and they found that for men, the best indicator of preferences was the hair and eye color of their mothers. When nearly 700 volunteer participants (including 394 men) were asked about the hair and eye color of themselves, their parents, and their partners, they found that overwhelmingly, men were attracted to the same coloring that their mothers had. The same correlation didn’t appear when comparing their father’s hair and eye color, and while researchers aren’t entirely sure what’s going on here, they did suggest that it’s possible that the early connection between mother and son formed a sort of subconscious bond that suggests safety, familiarity, and comfort linked to the eye and hair color they knew first.

Another study, this one done by the University of Tokyo, found that men showed significant preference for women who shared something else with their mother: height. When they looked at volunteers who reported their own heights, along with their parents’ and their partners’ heights, they found that men were much more likely to be attracted to a woman of similar height to their mother.

 

The right sense of humor

A sense of humor is high on the list of traits that everyone says they look for in potential partners, but according to a study published in Evolution and Human Behavior, the sort of humor men and women find attractive is surprisingly different.

When both men and women were asked about the traits they looked for in a partner, both groups reported a sense of humor was equally important. But when the study looked a little further, they found that while women valued both the ability to be funny and to appreciate the same sort of things they found funny, men were a little more one-sided with what they found attractive. The men surveyed didn’t rate funny women as any more desirable, and instead, it was receptiveness to their own sense of humor that they valued. In other words, men want someone who’s going to laugh at their jokes. For men, it wasn’t as necessary that women be able to make them laugh. They were looking for someone who appreciated their capacity for what the study called their production of humor.

When men’s responses were broken down by the type of relationship they were talking about, the results were even more drastic. When it came to dating and long-term relationships, it was even more important for men to find someone who appreciated their sense of humor, while funny females were better for friendship and short-term relationships.

 

The right head tilt

According to a pair of Australian researchers, one thing that men find surprisingly attractive is a simple one that anyone can do — just tilt your head the right way.

They took a series of faces that were manipulated to appear as they were being viewed from different angles, and volunteers were then asked to rate the attractiveness of those faces, along with how feminine or masculine they were. They found that men were most attracted to faces when women tilted their heads forward enough that they were looking slightly up.

The results were significant and suggested that nothing more than a simple adjustment to the way we carry ourselves could make someone measurably more attractive. They suggested that it has something to do with height, and that when a man sees a woman who tilts her head forward and looks up at him, she’s presenting herself in such a way that accents height differences and, in turn, traditional ideas about masculinity and femininity.

 

Taking hunter-gatherer risks

This one goes both ways, and it turns out that both men and women find certain risk-taking behaviors incredibly attractive in potential mates. Personality traits that include being open to certain risks were rated as highly attractive to women, but surprisingly, men were attracted to women who were a certain kind of adventurous.

According to a study done by the University of Alaska Anchorage, men (and women) were attracted to those with personality traits that allowed them to take part in and enjoy what they called hunter-gatherer risks. That includes activities and dangers similar to what our ancient ancestors would have faced, like skiing, mountain climbing, whitewater rafting, and other outdoor activities. While those are things we usually think of as being attractive when a man does them, the study found that men are also attracted to the same behaviors in women.

Being attracted to risk-taking behaviors only went so far, through, and it was only ancient risks that were found attractive. Taking modern risks were definitely seen as less attractive, and that meant everything from driving without a seat belt to dabbling in drugs.

 

A high-pitched voice

While you might think that a husky voice would be a sexy one, studies have shown that what men are really attracted to is a higher-pitched voice. According to one study done by University College London, high-pitched voices were found to be almost universally more attractive to men, mostly because of the features, figure, and youth they imagined to go along with that voice. Volunteers were asked to listen to a series of voices and then rate them based on their appeal, and researchers found that there was sort of a sweet spot in pitch. Men rated high-pitched voices more attractive, but only to a certain point. When the voice got too high-pitched, the attractiveness declined. By the end of the study, they concluded that in order to be most attractive, a voice should be moderately high-pitched and slightly breathy, all which reportedly signaled that the speaker had a small frame.

Weirdly, they were also able to draw comparisons between their results and results that had been already found in the animal kingdom. There, males and females often have different pitch and tone to their voice, as they’re used for different reasons. That further led the team to the conclusion that men prefer moderately high-pitched voices not only because of the physical qualities they imply, but also because they impart the idea of submissiveness and make confrontation seem unlikely.

If your voice doesn’t fall into the realm of “moderately high-pitched,” there’s no need to fear. According to a study from the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology, women who are talking to a man they’re attracted to tend to speak in a higher pitch without even realizing they’re doing it.

 

Ovulation

The science behind this one is pretty fascinating, and while ovulation might not be a specific trait, it is linked to some traits that men find attractive. According to a study in the journal Hormones and Behavior, men were more likely to rate women as being the most attractive when they were at the most fertile point in their menstrual cycle.

There have been a huge number of studies done on this, and there have been some fascinating discoveries. As women approach peak fertility, voices get higher in pitch, body odor changes and becomes more desirable, and it’s even suspected there might be some sort of incredibly discreet change in skin or lip color — all things men have traditionally found more attractive.

In 2007, a University of New Mexico study found that fertility even seemed to impact the tips made by professional lap dancers, and another study done by researchers from the University of Gottingen in Germany got similar results. Men were asked to watch silhouettes of women dancing and to pick out the more attractive women based only on their movements. Overwhelmingly, they choose the women who were at their most fertile, and they did the same thing when they were asked to choose the most attractive silhouettes of women simply walking. Researchers suspect that hormonal changes that happen in the body at times of peak fertility change some things to appeal even more to men, allowing them to pick up on fertility unconsciously.

 

The perfect WHR

When it comes to overall body shapes, we always hear that it’s the hourglass figure that’s most attractive. That might not be entirely true, though, and according to research done by professors at the University of Texas, it’s only the last part of the traditional trio of measurements that really matters.

Professor Devendra Singh took a look at the differences in how male and female bodies store fat, coupled with indicators of health and fertility. She found that when women have a waist to hip ratio (WHR) of between .67 and .8, they’re thought to be the most attractive to men. She conducted a series of experiments that not only surveyed men as to what shape they found most attractive, but also looked back through the last few decades at everything from Miss America contestants to Playboy models. The overwhelming majority of the men she surveyed agreed that the most attractive shape had to do with that magic WHR number, no matter what their age group was.

Other studies seem to show that no matter what the actual size of a woman is, it’s the ratio that’s more important than the weight or build. From women like Beyonce to Kate Moss, it didn’t matter how much they weighed. It was the ratio that men found most attractive.

 

Personality really does matter

When it comes to figuring out which traits are going to be most attractive to potential partners, it’s easy to focus on the physical. But studies have shown that personality traits like kindness really, truly do make a person more attractive. One study done at the University of Westminster polled 2,157 male students to find out what they found most attractive. The result showed something we’d find surprising, and that’s the fact that there was no body type or shape they found to be more universally attractive than any other. When men were supplied with personality traits, though, those traits made them select a wider range of body types and sizes that they said were attractive, compared to the selections they made on physical appearance alone.

Another study from a group of Chinese universities found similar results. They took both men and women and asked them to rate the attractiveness of a series of faces based only on appearance. Two weeks later, the same group was given personality traits along with the faces, and positive traits made faces more attractive. They even gave it a name: the halo effect.

So what are some of the traits connected with an increase in physical attraction? Honesty, respectfulness, and a positive attitude. Almost all positive personality traits have been shown to have a positive impact on what men think and how attractive they view potential partners, leading some psychologists to suggest as much effort should be put into the personality component of first impressions as the physical one.

 

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Asian Massage Parlors – The Sad Part – 2

Massage parlors promising “happy endings” are at the center of international human trafficking schemes involving underage girls and illegal immigrants.

These establishments are starting to crop up in greater numbers across the city again after previous crackdowns by authorities in 2014, and their crimes extend far past prostitution. With the assistance of sites like Backpage.com, the owners of these sex shops can update advertisements daily and better avoid scrutiny from law enforcement.

For those who argue these establishments commit victimless crimes, authorities note these parlors are typically staffed entirely by women, many of whom are forced to live at the store and are often underage. Illegal immigrants are specifically preyed on and threatened with deportation if they do not follow instructions.

The NYPD has arrested 11 people on prostitution charges in Staten Island through April 2017. Criminal complaints show five of the people arrested do not have U.S. citizenship and five provided their work address as their primary residence. All but one woman identified themselves as Asian and/or Pacific Islander.

“Human trafficking is up 50 percent in the city alone — that’s a huge red flag that this issue is permeating and it needs to be addressed aggressively,” Assemblywoman Nicole Malliotakis, a Republican running for mayor, told Staten Island Live regarding the massage parlors. “Unfortunately, we know that this is a human trafficking issue, it’s not just prostitution.”

Authorities arrested eight members of the Rendon-Reyes gang in Brooklyn in April on charges of human smuggling and sex trafficking of minors, which they allegedly participated in for a decade. All eight members face a lifetime in prison if convicted. Detailed statistics on human trafficking are difficult to assemble, but officials estimate thousands of women are trafficked into New York each year.

Officials in New York City say poor enforcement of immigration laws is aiding the human trafficking business. Women are often kidnapped from other countries and subsequently brought to the U.S. Their lives and the lives of their families are threatened in order to terrorize the victims into obedience.

“I consider forcing a woman or a child to perform sexual acts and be victims is something that should be taken seriously and I think that’s the type of message we’re sending if we don’t enforce [people being in New York illegally],”

Authorities successfully closed six of these massage parlors in 2015, but more continue to open. Malliotakis and other local lawmakers say there has been a steady increase in calls reporting shady massage parlors popping up in their communities.

If you think human trafficking, massage parlors and prostitution are limited to urban areas, you would be mistaken.

Lunchtime two weeks ago, Lower Merion Police moved in on a nondescript building, serving a warrant investigating a suspected prostitution operation. The Rock Hill Road establishment in Bala goes by the name Therapy Zone.

“We’ve had it under surveillance for a few days, and a number of things are occurring here consistent with prostitution,” said Sergeant Gavin Goschinski.

Lower Merion Police say those things would be security cameras, a lack of formal advertising and secure exterior doors where clients need to be buzzed in.

“We encountered one female inside the establishment. She’s a Russian citizen. We were taking her in for interviews and to determine if she needs to be connected to services relative to human trafficking,” said Goschinski.

Law enforcement has also been investigating Therapy Zone and similar suburban businesses. Apparently finding a massage parlor with sexual services isn’t very difficult. We found a website which claims to locate massage parlors that engage in prostitution.

For a small fee, you can read reviews that include the names of the women, sexual favors offered and price. The site claims there are more than 230 erotic massage parlors all over the tri-state area, including over 80 in Philadelphia.

Philadelphia police detectives Ashley Capaldi and Kate Gordon are part of the department’s new Human Trafficking Unit. They say the women working in the massage parlors are often the victims of human trafficking, who come to the US heavily in debt and are forced into prostitution.

“You said it cost $70, 80, 90 for me to come here, and I’m supposed to be trying to support my family at home and here, and it’s virtually impossible to ever break that cycle,” said Gordon.

“Until now, no one is ever coming for the person who owns the house, who runs the house,” said Capaldi.

According to court records, Lower Merion Police questioned several so-called “Johns” who left Therapy Zone. The “Johns” allegedly admitted to receiving sexual favors and told police during initial visits, they were asked about what sexual favors they wanted, given a price and assigned a number for booking appointments.

Police say they watched as women of Therapy Zone would discard condoms in the trash cans of other businesses.

“Our surveillance found the women who open and operate the business are dropped off a door or two away and that they come in, they operate during the day,” said Goschinski.

Investigators across the region say putting erotic massage parlors out of business is tough.

It’s supply and demand.

They close one parlor, another opens down the road in another name.

In Bala no one’s been charged yet. They continue to investigate allegations of prostitution and human trafficking.

“This is a brick and mortar operation with a significant investment. We hope to disrupt the organization today, and then follow-up with it and see where money is traveling, who owns it and that sort of thing,” said Goschinski.

 

 

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Asian Massage Parlors – The Fun Part – 1

We here at phicklephilly want to bring you all aspects of the dating culture here in Philadelphia. Asian massage parlors have been around forever and are in every city in the country. Even though it’s not technically dating, the service these places provide feels like the very best part of a date.

I spoke with my buddy Johnny R. because out of all of my friends, this cat digs vice. I asked him if he could tell me what the experience was like at one of these places.

You used to find these places in the back pages of Philly Weekly and City Paper. Two free papers that were in honor boxes all over the city. Now you can find them literally on a website called backpages.com.

Update: Sadly… Backpages.com has been shut down due to these kinds of ads.

Once you find a “massage parlor” you want to try you simply locate it in the city. There are several all over the place. Usually it is just an address, with maybe an “Open” sign illuminated in the window.

You ring the bell and are normally greeted by an older Asian woman. Somewhere in her forties or fifties. She’s the mamasan. That’s the person of authority that runs the parlor. They always ask if it’s your first time. They do that to see if you know what the deal is and also to possibly see if you’re law enforcement.

I believe prostitution should be legalized. They’re working in the oldest profession, and should have access to healthcare and anything else any working person is entitled to. But what’s wrong with these places is the human trafficking aspect of this industry. But we’ll get to that in tomorrow’s post.

Some of these places take credit cards and some only cash. Normally they charge around $180. It used to be $150, but times change. But when I tell you what you get for your $180 you’ll see what a good deal it is. Also, years ago you’d pay the mamasan $50 for the massage and then the girl who was to give you the massage asked for a tip once she was alone with you in the room. But I think it was easier for law enforcement to entrap the girls because technically she’s asking for extra money beyond the fee to perform some additional duties.

So now it’s just the whole thing up front. $180 is the price of the massage and what happens in that room between you and that girl is between you two.

So you pay the lady and takes you to a room and leaves you there. The room is normally dimly lit. Everybody looks better in the dark. There is a massage table in the room and usually some sort of little table. Usually there is some soft music playing.

Within a few minutes an attractive, young Asian girl enters the room. She’s usually wearing some skimpy little outfit with a pair of high heels. She greets you and asks your name. You can give her any name you want because the name she gives you probably isn’t her real name either. She hands you a towel and asks you to disrobe. She then leaves the room while you undress.

When she returns you’re usually sitting there on the massage table with a white towel wrapped around your waist. She takes you by the hand, and leads you into the washroom. There is a long table with a cushion on it. she asks you to remove your towel and lie facedown on the table. There is a large round tub filled with water in the corner and she fills it with warm water. She gets a bucket and takes fresh water from a faucet and fills the bucket and rinses you down. Then with a soapy bath sponge she scrubs your body down and washes you. As an adult we take for granted that we take a shower everyday. But as a man having an attractive woman who you don’t even know bathe you, it’s really nice. You feel like a king with a loyal servant to take good care of you. It’s kind of hot. She really scrubs you down paying extra attention to your butt. The foot scrub is especially good. She rinses you down and then gives you your next directive.

She tells you to flip over on to your back. You obey and let her continue to work on you. She gently scrubs the front of you and your legs. The most brilliant part of this table shower is when her soft, slippery, soapy hand grasps your manhood, and spends a little extra time “washing” it with her dexterous digits!

She rinses you off one final time and helps you to your feet. She then dries you off with a towel. When do you ever get treated like this? A cute Asian girl bathing you and then toweling off your whole body is an experience unto itself. No one’s done this for you since you were a child. It’s a nice nostalgic yet erotic experience.

She checks the hallway to make sure you don’t run into any other clients. Think about that. Can you imagine if you were in one of these places and you see your boss, or even worse, a family member?

She takes you by the hand and leads you back to your room. She leaves again, but usually returns in a short amount of time. She asks you to lie face down, and she begins to give you a legitimate massage. Really works her hands on you and hitting all the main muscle groups.

Johnny tells me that one time he was at a parlor and there was a long pipe above the bed and the lady held onto it and literally walked on his back.

It’s a solid massage and even sometimes they massage your hands and feet. During this massage the girl will normally remove her top and will gently rub her nipples on your back.

“I remember this other time the girl was massaging my buttocks and she just spread them and dug in and rimmed me with her tongue!”

“How did that feel, Johnny?”

“Fucking exquisite.”

Normally as you flip over on to your back, she catches your member in her hand and starts massaging it. He said once you’re fully aroused she’ll roll a condom on down the shaft. Johnny says he remembers this one girl had the condom in her mouth and she rolled it on using her mouth.

“That was pretty spectacular.”

Then the girl will usually climb on top of you and mount you and it just goes from there.

“And that’s it?”

“Well you don’t have to stay in that position. She’s yours for the hour. You can flip her any way you want and have sex with her until you finish.”

Once the act is complete, she leaves the room and comes back with a warm wet wash cloth, removes the condom, and wipes you down with the cloth.

She then helps you get dressed. She will even get on her knees and put on your shoes and tie them for you. It’s a lovely experience. She walks you to the door and asks you to make a return visit soon and your on your way.

Sounds amazing.

Legalize this immediately or please look the other way law enforcement.

 

 

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