Lorelei – My Daughter – Happy Valentine’s Day

What can I say on Valentine’s Day to my daughter?

First on and foremost lets see what Valentines day really is.

I created the link so I don’t have to deal with it.

There will be flowers, chocolate and missing my girlfriend this year.

What are you all up to?

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_Day

 

Valentine’s day is here and my girlfriend is in Japan with her family so I have no one to celebrate the stupid created money grab holiday with.

So who do I love?

Of course! It’s so easy. My daughter, Lorelei!

So I’ll just write to her today.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day to you, love.

You are the light of my life, and even though you rose from a broken marriage, we both loved you so much.

I can’t speak for your mom but I love you more that I love myself, and I know she does too.

As crazy and difficult anything has been between your mom and me, we both love you and would give our lives to protect you in this world.

 

I forgive your mom for everything, and I hope she is smiling right now.

 

Life is way too short to be bitter about anything.

 

I’m so happy that you and Brad have been in a relationship for over 4 years now! (We love him! He gets to come to Christmas every year at Janice’s house!)

You have worked from the day you graduated high school, and been so consistent in everything you’ve pursued.

You’ve been in the same job for the last two years and have outlasted most of your coworkers, and you’ve been promoted.

 

I’m so proud of you my only daughter.

 

You’ve been in the arts since you were 4 years old. Singing, choir, acting, drama, shows, and plays non-stop. Theater Camp, and then high school plays, non-stop.

You came to me at 18 to escape the clutches of your mom and flourished here in Philly.

I love that, because we both made great decisions to come to this city for retribution and rebirth. Me in 2007, and you in 2015. Our family is from here and we belong here.

 

You and I had a great conversation tonight about how you have been making music again in your life.

Lor, you are a brilliant singer, but as an artist myself I knew I could never push you when you arrived here in Philly at 18.

Artists can never be controlled.

As much as a parent I wanted to encourage your talent I knew I was powerless, so I did nothing. The talent either thrives or perishes.

There is no middle ground when it comes to art.

 

Lorelei, you healed and flourished here in Philly.

I started to see your art return to you slowly. (That’s how it always occurs)

 

Long story short, you have now connected with a guitarist and you are going to start playing paid gigs at a bar here in Philly. You are very much in control of the set list and the guitarist is on board, so this is really happening.

I couldn’t be happier.

 

I’m a big fan of: “If you’ve got the gift, use it”

 

But it’s happening and I’m so excited! The former musician’s daughter that is far more talented than him is now going forth with her art.

You guys even have a venue and will be getting paid, which puts them light years ahead of anything I was doing back in 1979!

I’m so proud of my daughter and will invite everyone I to her first show…. I know it will be amazing.

 

Umm…. I’m going to write these last words just so they’re on the internet forever for her from me….

 

Happy Valentine’s Day, my love!

 

My beautiful bird….

 

Go forth and sing.

I have wished for this day for so long, and now it’s here.

This moment in your life is so important.

Now you strike.

Daughter, it is your time to fly high, but not to close to the sun.

Protect your wings.

Life is fleeting and fragile.

Enjoy yourself.

 

Your Dad will always be here for you as long as I can stand.

 

As i get older I’ve learned that life is always moving fast.

 

In a short amount of time…

 

This will all seem like a long time ago.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Cherie – Chapter 40 – Once You Go Black…

I haven’t seen Cherie in a month. I don’t realize this because I have been busy with Ambria. Filling in the blanks of our relationship. There aren’t any blanks, per se. I love Cherie with all of my heart. I do. She’s an extraordinary being that I have had the honor of meeting and somehow she has fallen in love with me.

She wants nothing from me. She’s working so hard on finishing her education, and the great job at CHOP and of course raising her son. She rocks. But lately it all just seems to be getting to her. It’s like she’s at her breaking point.

She moved back in to her parent’s house a awhile ago. Good thing is, you’re with your family, and that creates unity, and you can all lean on each other and help one another. But I’m learning more and more about the family.

She has a great relationship with her mother and younger sister. But she has an older sister who doesn’tt live with them, but lives with her boyfriend. What Cherie told me today, was that the older sister lived out in California and had two kids. But she got into a relationship with some whack job, (I don’t know if he’s the father of the children. Somehow I think that he’s not.) He was abusive to her, and beat her up a few times and she fled back to Pennsylvania to escape from getting killed by this asshole.

The kids are being raised by the grand parents now. But everybody pitches in. But here’s the rub. Older sister isn’t raising her kids. In my eyes she’s dumped them off on the grandparents. But here is the worst part. She’s pregnant again and is keeping the baby. If you can’t take care of the two kids you’ve got, why the fuck would you bring a third one into the world?

Cherie will be graduating from Temple in a year, and will have her degree. I think when she does go back to school she won’t have to deal so much with these kids. She’ll be studying and going to school full-time and working.

Her son is 6 years old and smart as a whip. But I know from the stories that Cherie’s told me that she’s spoiled him and regrets that. Plus he’s the eldest of the kids, so he leads the other two little ones into chaos. But if all of these kids are acting up like animals, someone isn’t doing their job in the discipline department. His dad isn’t around enough and the kids are maniacs and I think it’s really getting to Cherie. But she created him. The great thing is, it’s shown her what a challenge parenting a child can be, and she NEVER wants to do it again.

That’s good for me. She has all the qualities I like, smart, sexy, and sweet. She has her youth and a slamming body. She’s at the age where most women start hearing the ticking clock and all become desperate to get married and have children. Cherie has already been a mother for the last 6 years, and she is DONE.

My daughter Lorelei is 20, and I’ve been done for years. Lorelei’s great and comes and goes as she pleases and is a good kid.

I should just get a vasectomy tomorrow!

Cherie loves me for reasons that are pure and I want that. Cherie is a perfect match for me. A fun girl that’s not around all of the time so I can have my alone time and my social life with my friends without worrying.

She’s been stressed and super busy and so have I. I understand why she was pissed when she didn’t hear from me. She told me she doesn’t want to get hurt so she put up a wall. We resolved it all over the phone a week ago and all is forgiven, but we did discuss it more when she came down to the city today. We both feel recharged and the bond between us is even stronger now.

She didn’t get down here until 7:30pm and she’s tired. We walk back to my apartment so we can relax. It’s been hot lately, so when I left my house to come out and meet her at her car, I left the AC on. So the bedroom is nice and cool when she gets there. I light a candle and put on some soft music. (Pandora – Music for Lovers station)

She takes note that I’ve gotten her some fresh candy on the table on her side of the bed.

Hopefully when she goes back to school and gets her schedule we can figure out ways we can spend more time together. Even if it’s just a lunch or a cup of coffee. We just need to stay connected. Maybe a nooner when Lorelei is not at the house.

Cherie loves me so much. I can just tell. She’s such a good woman. Can you imagine if I end up having a girlfriend who is a doctor?

We chat on the bed and hold each other as we get comfortable. She knows what’s coming. It’s inevitable, and she needs it.

“You have such lovely eyes, Cherie.”

“You’re blue eyes are much more beautiful.”

“They’re only beautiful when they’re looking at you.”

We get undressed and for the next few hours we do all that stuff that we both love to do so much with each other.

Take it Billy…

 

 

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A Unique Gift – Chapter 1

 

STOP! This post is not safe for work!

But… if you have the time later, go check it out on the link below.

Out of all of the erotica I’ve written in the last year, this is my favorite.

Simply because I feel that I’ve done my best with the story, but I feel like I could take this so much further in the future.

Feedback, negative and positive are welcome!!!

 

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=80

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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14 of the Weirdest, Craziest, Philly-est Stories from 2018

Greased poles, profane potholes, farm animals roaming the city. Just another year in Philadelphia.

https://billypenn.com/2018/12/27/14-of-the-weirdest-craziest-philly-est-stories-from-2018/

 

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My Father – 1929 to 2016 – Diamonds and Rust – Part 3

Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I’ll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.

Sister Janice was born in January 1961, I appeared 18 months later in August 1962.

I have no idea about the circumstances of my conception. But apparently it was too soon for my mom and she was pissed at my dad for knocking her up again so fast. He said she didn’t speak to him for the entire pregnancy. Can you imagine this kind of juvenile bullshit? First of all he should have laid off mom and I have no idea why he needed to hit that again so soon. Apparently my mom wasn’t that into sex at all. He once told me that she said, “we’re like a couple of dogs going at it.”

Brutal.

Clearly this is not the glorious celebration I’ve experienced during my union with another vessel that is clearly in love with me and we are going to make a Lorelei. Sadly that was a calculated well-timed act scheduled by her mother but it’s too late now. Lor is here and she is a wonderful part of my life.

But then my parents had four kids… I don’t have any information why or how that happened. But what kid really wants that data about their parents anyway. Right?

But once I was born, my mom spoke to him again and loved me. It was a very hot in the summer of August of 1962. It was so humid she would take me to the basement to give me my bottle. I was born when they lived in North Philly on Hope Street but they got the house in Lawndale when I was one, and that’s where I grew up.

I was always careful and timid. Janice would kick me in the crib because I was the new youngling. She started biting her nails because I was the new baby. The new star.

But all shooting stars fall.

Janice was bold and would crawl right off the couch and I would watch and hang back. My father would laugh that his one child would venture forth and fall and the other would hang back and survive.

We need people like Janice. The ones that are stable and go forward to bring the species forward.

But we also need people like me to stay behind, to draw the pictures of her adventures, and look after the women, the young, and to entertain the tribe.

 

Let’s get back to the theme here.

Janice’s son looks a lot like my dad. Janice is very much cut from my dad. We have history to prove this. She marries well, and creates a wonderful son. My nephew Tim is a great kid. Their whole family is great.

Tim always adored my father. He loved Pop. My father was able to roll in with the treats and the toy trains and do “Greatest Hits” with Tommy.  He didn’t have to raise Tim.

Janice and her husband did.

He’s the Paragon.

Tim adored Pop.

My dad adored his father and got nothing.

“Here’s $10….  get them a set of trains. ” (Didn’t give a shit about his sons)

Tim adores my father. That’s the ONE Thing my father has always wanted. A little boy who is well-behaved. A sweet kid. No drama. Goes to college. Gets a great job. Is lifeguard of the year. Looks like him. Understands him. Knows how to navigate him in a safe respectful, gentle way. Diplomatic. Can live with him during the summer and be the perfect companion. Justifies his existence.

I commend Tim for being sentient enough to understand my father.

The complete opposite of me. This boy was raised by my sister. Not by Horace. That’s a whole different relationship. This is “Greatest Hits” and Tim makes great records!

Tim became the son my father always wished for. He was this perfect respectful boy who gave him what he always wished for from his father.

His circle was complete. It made my father so happy.

Of course the kid that looks like you is from the daughter who is most like you and he’s perfect. Because he isn’t the shit you ground into powder in the studio that never made the album.

Tim is your Greatest Hits album.

You don’t have to raise him. He stops in and gets the BEST of you. He loves you. He worships you like you worshiped your dad. He loves the toy trains. He’s a good, compliant boy. He’s not Helen’s family. That’s the son you wanted. You didn’t have to raise him and download your pain and bullshit into him. You never threatened or hit Tim with your hands.

It was easy.

So good. Not lies or weird. Not the component of you that harbors your dark side that’s you and knows your dark side and struggles with it. He doesn’t know that I know the truth about you, dad. He’s a sweet boy that looks like a better version of you and doesn’t share your demons.

But I know you, and I know ALL of your demons and we’re all on the same side now.

He’s clean. It’s easy. Give him the ring Bilbo Baggins. You’re a man who taught us that we should always live by our word and that our word was our bond, but you were lying the whole time. To me and to yourself, man.

Come on….

How did you live with all of the infidelity and the illegitimate kids?

 

You reckless fuck.

 

You did it because you could. Maybe that’s why I love a good paradox in all of my stories. Because that’s you dad.

(I’ll get to my half-brother and sister in a future posts…. yea, I know… horrors…. phicklephilly phollowers!)

It’s so easy. Tim doesn’t have to be raised by you and all of your rage and OCD and anxiety never touch him.

You’re countless fights with mom and how many times I failed you don’t exist. Clean slate. Awesome, Pop.

Tim is the perfect son you always wanted because it’s easy and you can forget all of the sins you seared into my mother and I.

It’s okay, we forgive you, but the memories remain.

 

You’re the son he always wanted Tim. Automatic and easy. You get Pop Pop’s triple diamond ring and I…. his blood son gets passed over. (I don’t give a fuck about his stupid jewelry, Tim. My identity comes from a place my father has never seen.)

The 3 diamond ring goes to the you…

(My grandfather left a ring to my Dad that had 3 diamonds in it. He wore it every day. (Is that to show some sort of affluence?)

Jewelry is nothing but shiny stones and metal.

All that glitters isn’t gold, dad.

I would have pawned it anyway, because stuff means nothing to me anymore. Life is to be lived and experienced and we are meant to always evolve.

I’ll tell you what brings me joy.

Knowing my daughter Lorelei is healthy and happy in her life. I’m fine, but once you have a child… that’s until you die. I never screamed at her or frightened her. I never hit her. Hitting children is wrong.

You scared me and hit me a lot. That doesn’t make for good people. It’s wrong. I’m smaller than you and I’m not allowed to defend myself. So you can hit me and do whatever you want to me and I am powerless. So no matter what you preach to me about life, and honor and being a man of my word…

You still get to abuse me verbally and physically.

Simple as that, asshole.

Tim gets the 3 diamond ring because he’s the son you wanted but you never earned.

Janice made him. Not you.

 

Your subtle message of inheritance and bloodline bounces from me like piss in the ocean, father.

 

Just like your weird cryptic messages left in a toy train station about how it’s your last stop and all of that. You knew it would be found by Janice. How fucked up is that? So you want to cause pain and sadness and drama beyond your expiration? I’m going to hit the accelerator here and say, drama queen. Because that’s not cool. In movies that’s cool. You and I loved film, dad. But you don’t pull that drama shit on your favorite daughter. What the fuck were you thinking?

Dad….She loved you more than anybody in the world.

 

 

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Andrea – 2014 – S&M Girl

“Hi Lorelei. Daddy’s just going to take this fat, drunk bitch back to his room and tie her up. Then you’re going to hear a lot of slapping and squishing sounds. You’re also going to hear Daddy say a bunch of really foul sexually degrading things to this woman, so you better put your ear buds in and crank that shit up.”

One night a couple of years ago, I was out with a friend of mine. We were having drinks outside at Misconduct at 15th & Locust. He was telling me a story about this girl he met on Tinder. Pure hookup. She comes over to his apartment. Sadly, she doesn’t look like her Tinder pics. Which is not good. That’s like seeing a photo of a car you want to buy in the Auto Trader and when you get to the lot to check out the car, it’s an older model and a little banged up and maybe even a bit more car than you saw in the photos.

But he was drunk and up for the foul deed. He said she was a thick girl but he went to town on her anyway. Like my tinder profile says: “If you don’t look like your photos, you’re going to buy me drinks until you do.” So he said it was good sex except for one thing. He didn’t like that she wanted him to spit on her and hit her. There’s nothing wrong with what two consenting adults do with each other behind closed doors. Especially if everyone’s on board with what’s happening. But he didn’t like it. Just not his thing.

He told me that he wasn’t comfortable with that situation. He said at that point no matter what he was into or what he would do, he couldn’t do that again.  It just wasn’t him. (He didn’t spit on her or hit her at all) At that time, back in the beginning of 2014, I had just come off a break up and told him to send Andrea pics of me. Because I was up for whatever she wanted dished out. The key here is when it comes to dominance, be firm…not mean. There’s a big difference. I would discipline and correct her if necessary. And remember, the submissive party is ALWAYS in control. They have the safe word and hold the power to cancel the fantasy at anytime. That’s the rules of S&M play.

Well, nothing came of it. Until earlier this year when she connected to me on LinkedIn. LinkedIn of all places! Can you imagine with all of the dating websites out there, LinkedIn brings me the crazy S&M chick? So we chatted and did some texting. She wanted me to text her all of the things I was going to do to her, so I did. I have a pretty good imagination. She said she was getting really turned on and that we should meet.

I set it up that we should meet at the Ranstead Room. It’s just a good spot normally to hideout with somebody. I get there and I’m just chilling with a drink. She arrives shortly thereafter. My friend was right about her. In her Tinder pics she looks really hot, but in real life she is a lot bigger, and what was with that low tranny voice? Not good. I just wasn’t feeling it. I would have to drink a LOT of cocktails for Andrea to start to resemble her profile pics on Tinder. So I figured what the hell, I was already here and the drinks were flowing. She wasn’t that hot but at least I was someplace where nobody knew me.

Then the manager from the restaurant where my daughter works suddenly comes through the door and walks right up to me and says hello using my name.

Now I’m made. He can see who I’m with and now everybody there knows my name.

Andrea starts telling me about her life. She hates her job and wants to leave Philly. (Probably a good idea for us all.) She was seeing some crazy drug dealer loser guy. He’s suicidal, and does tons of coke. It’s bad, and she’s not much better.  I always thought if you did a bunch of cocaine you were skinny. Certainly not the case here.

After awhile we’re getting pretty tipsy. We went outside for a cigarette. She was on me like a northern pike hitting the bait. So I’m making out with her and people are walking by on Ranstead and she just pulls her boobs out. She’s losing her shit. She wants to take me back behind the building and give me a blowjob.

Yea. Great. I’ll just go stand behind my daughter’s manager’s Mercedes-Benz and you can give me oral. What if he walks outside and sees that shit? That’s not going to be good for me or anybody. Now, if this was Los Angeles and it was 1982, yea I’d be down for that, but not now. That’s gross. Sure, I’m flattered that she’s turned on enough from my words and the alcohol to want to blow me in a filthy alley, but no. Just no. I don’t roll like that.

She’s drunk. We go back inside and we’re in the vestibule and all sorts of things are happening with lips and fingers. If somebody comes through either door, we’re going to jail. So after that brief encounter, we go back inside. I kind of want to go home. In the right environment, some S&M play could be fun with her, but I’m just not getting a good vibe from her in this moment. She’s calling me daddy and all that shit. She says she loves older men, etc. I tell her I have an early sales meeting in the morning that I have to travel to so we should wrap it up. (A bold-faced lie)

She wants to go back to my place and have sex. Great idea. I can see it now. Me walking through the door to my apartment with Andrea and my daughter sitting on the sofa.

“Hi Lorelei. Daddy’s just going to take this fat, drunk bitch back to his room and tie her up. Then you’re going to hear a lot of slapping and squishing sounds. You’re also going to hear Daddy say a bunch of really foul sexually degrading things to this woman, so you better put your ear buds in and crank that shit up.”

No. Not happening. We pay the bill, and we walk over to 18th Street. I hail her a taxi and send her on her way. I was actually relieved when she was gone.

If somebody I met and was in a relationship wanted to experiment with some things, I’d be down with that, but Andrea just isn’t that person.

Update! She appeared at the salon tonight for a tan before she goes to L.A!

She’s leaving Philly for good!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish Monday through Friday at 8am EST.

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