Curving is the Latest Dating Trend you Need to Know About – and it Might just be Worse than Ghosting


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Racquel Writes! 5 Reasons Why Online Dating Works

via 5 Reasons Why Online Dating Works

10 Steps To Successfully DTR

DTR = Define The Relationship

Whether you have been dating for a few weeks or a few months there is always a thought that lingers in your mind, “what are we?” If you have not defined yourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend, or monogamous, or whatever then you will always have that question in the back of your mind. After a while, there comes a time when you need to take a second with yourself and decide what is going on and where you want this relationship to go. Once you have done that it is time to have “the talk” and define the relationship with your partner so neither of you wastes your time. Here are ten steps you can follow to successfully define the relationship, hopefully, so there is no confusion throughout the process and it eases the minds of both parties involved.

Self Reflection

This is the obvious first step to making any moves in your relationship. Light a candle, grab some paper and a pencil. Rather than just pulling out your phone, actually, write down your reflection because then the connection is much stronger. There are studies that show the written word is far more meaningful than if you were to type up your thoughts on Notepad on your computer. Take a few deep breaths and enjoy the calm moment you are in and then begin to ask yourself questions about the relationship you are in. What are we? What do I want out of this partnership? Is there an end goal? Do I love this person? Asking questions like this to yourself will help decide whether or not you are ready to commit to a relationship and define yourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend or if you are not looking to get serious and you just want to keep it simple. Either way, you need to realize where you stand on your own before you have the talk so that you do not get bullied into something that makes you uncomfortable.

Take The Pressure Off

Sometimes a perfectly could be ruined by pressure. Do not jump into necessarily pressuring your partner into a relationship by being pushy about things. Being pushy can scare them off and end a relationship before it even has the chance to begin. When you are sure you want a relationship to ease into the conversation and wait for a good time so that no one is caught off guard or spooked out of anything.

Let It Be

If you are looking to define the relationship but not sure how to start sometimes just sitting back and letting it be can do the trick. Allow the relationship to evolve on its own without intervention and you may not even need to have an official talk, things will just fall into place. This is not always the case but you may luck out every once in awhile.

Plan It Out

It is always good to have a plan, with anything you do, especially things that involve your relationship. Decide when, where, how, and what to say. This way you can be in the proper setting with a plan of attack rather than just spur of the moment at a coffee shop without any warning. Also, be sure to tell your partner that the talk about defining the relationship is going to happen so that they are not thrown off either.

Have The Conversation On A Good Day

Make sure neither of you has major plans afterward, you may need to decompress after a long conversation such as this.

Private Location

Maybe have the conversation at one of your houses or a shared favorite spot such as a nice quiet park bench. A place that is special to both of you but also private and relaxed atmosphere.

Get In The Zone

Don’t run in blind to the conversation. This is a big deal and you need to focus up so that you can be the best version of yourself and have a straightforward mind to conquer everything that is about to go down. Do you have daily rituals such as yoga or boxing? Or do you zen out after a good run or cup of tea? Whatever gets you centered, do it. You need to be in the zone and relaxed before chatting about your future with your partner. You do not want any brain fuzz to get in the way of making such a huge decision.

Introduce The Conversation Casually

“I’m having fun with you and I want more…” Starting your talk with a nice opener such as this is great. You are starting on a casual and positive note. Maybe even give them a few compliments to make them feel like they are in a safe space so they too are ready to open up and be honest. Having the conversation start out casual will relieve some of the pressure of having “the talk.”

Be Flexible

Consider compromises when you are talking about the status of your relationship. You may not get everything you want and your partner may not get everything he or she wants but if you want your relationship to work then there needs to be room for flexibility and compromise. All relationships take work, no matter how you end up defining them. Let it be friends, friends with benefits, polyamorous, or monogamous.

Communicate Clearly

To listen to your partner is the greatest kindness you can give them. Listen and hear out their side of things and why they want to define or not define the relationship. Be open, flexible, and considerate. Also, when it is your turn to speak make sure that you spell out all of your wants and needs so that there is no room for error or confusion. You do not want to leave the define the relationship conversation more confused than when you entered.

Now that you have all of the information you can set aside some time for yourself to collect your thoughts and feelings about your relationship and then define the relationship with your partner. If all goes well you will leave the conversation as part of something more and if not then it was not meant to be and no more time will be wasted on a lost cause. If anything is sure to remain positive throughout the conversation and listen very carefully.

If you are still looking for that special someone to even have a relationship with let alone, defining it, take a look at Hily. Hily is an online dating app for singles to meet one another and spark up something special. Download it today and start talking. Happy Dating!


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Are You Taking Him for Granted? The Checklist to Know for Sure


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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10 Signs He’s Hiding His Attraction


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Phicklephilly – 2019 – 1000 Posts! – We Did It!!!

“If you live a life that is without the elements of who you really are you will never be happy.”

I’ve just been notified by WordPress that after 2 1/2 years of writing this blog I’ve written a 1000 posts!!!

It’s been an incredible journey to finally be writing again. I started out in this life as an artist. Then a musician, and then a writer.

But life, marriage, a child, and a career removed me from all of that. Other people needed me and the bills had to be paid.

But after 10 years I decided to write again.

I created Phicklephilly in the spring of 2016 and then did nothing.

By the fall I asked myself, is this something you’re going to talk about in bars with your friends and never do? I had discussed the notion of writing a blog about my life with many of my friends. One who is a better and more visceral writer than myself.

But I started to write.

I published a post about a waitress I had been infatuated with for some time on a Monday.

I worried no one would read it or like it. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to come up with content every Monday.

But I did.

Then I started writing updates for a Wednesday release.

Once the wheel started to roll, I did what needed to be done.

I wrote.

Writing is a hard lonely existence.

It’s something that you have to push yourself to do. Especially in the beginning. But like anything you really want you push yourself to do.

You begin a fitness program and you stick with it. The muscles grow and the fat disappears. You keep at it and then it gets easier.

I started to write like mad. Cranking out content until I had something happening  few times a week.


Then I found other things I liked and started to write about them. The Tanning salon, Tales of Rock, Crazy dates I’d been on in the past. Celebrities I’d met, and most of all, past relationships.

Some beautiful. Some bittersweet.

I’m not a great writer, but I kept at it. Like a pilot, I put in a certain number of hours until the plane called Phicklephilly soared.

And now here I am with all of you my loyal followers and readers after two and a half  years of writing.

1000 posts and over 50,000 views!

I couldn’t be happier.


If you want to do something, don’t talk about it. Like Nike says: Just do it.

Write everyday.

Push yourself. Who cares who reads it. Just create and express yourself.


I GUARANTEE  you that if you start writing and keep at it, the rewards will be like pieces of gold falling into your lap.

When you write from the heart and tell the truth about everything in your life, (Not everything. Keep some of yourself for yourself. That belong to you.)  You will find this liberating weight lifted from your shoulders.

Get it all out. The good, the bad and the ugly. Don’t be afraid. It’s just words. But it will lighten the load you’ve been carrying around your whole life.

Once you write it down and publish it… It’s gone but not invisible. But it’s out of you for the first time in your life. It’s now safely on the paper. You can understand what you’ve experienced so much better once you write about it.

You can look back on your work and your life and it’ so much easier to process, forgive and understand.


Writing Phicklephilly has been the most singular liberating experience of my adult life.


And there is so much more to tell.

I have so much more to say.

Knowing that these stories are now out on the internet forever. Even after I’m dead it is comforting.

Because they are no longer my responsibility. WordPress carries the weight for me now.

But by writing all of these stories guarantees my immortality.


I don’t need that, but it’s so much to live a simple, happy, and uncluttered life once you write.

I love most of what I’ve written. Everybody knows I hate writing dating and relationship advice but I found a way to keep it going for my readers who enjoy it.

I think my followers now know that I write Phicklephilly because of my simple love of creating. I’ve always been that way since I was a child. Drawing a picture. Sculpting something out of clay. Writing a song. Writing a book and a screenplay. Creating a comic strip.

I am an entity that apparently must always be creating and am happiest when I’m doing that very thing.

“If you live a life that is without the elements of who you really are you will not be happy.”

I feel happier than I have ever felt in my entire life.

I’ve lived a big exciting life. I’ve done a lot and experienced much. But it really comes down to a few simple components for me and please take heed if you wish.

  1. Your health is essential. You have that. you’re already winning.
  2. Surround yourself with good people. Whether they are friends, family or even some wonderful pet companions.
  3. Have something to do every day that you like to do. If you hate your job, find a better one that suits your life needs. It’s a third of your life, work. Why spend your day being miserable? Do something you don’t hate every day. It’s a short life. Enjoy yourself!
  4. To love and be loved. This is a tough one. Most people need this one. Love yourself and find someone else to love. If they love you back… Awesome!
  5. Have something to look FORWARD to. I don’t care what it is. Just have something. Brunch with a friend, a red envelope arriving from Netflix, a party, a day off, something you want to do that you made time to do. 


That’s it.

The rest is just stuff and bullshit.

Focus on the top 5.


Thank you one and all for taking the time out of your busy lives to take the time to read my little blog about dating, relationships and a bunch of stuff from my life.

I wish I could throw a big party and invite each and every one of you and we could all hang out and really get to know one another.

I’ve had the joy to become friends with some of the other talented writers on WordPress and it has been an absolute delight.

So many great people on here.

I also really appreciate my friends who have read and have subscribed to Phicklephilly. I love knowing they are here with me on this journey of self discovery and I hope some of this will inspire them to push forward on their lives.

Two and a half years ago there was nothing. I decided to start to write and now this is here.

You can create anything you want. You just have to do it and do it every day.

Look what can happen if you put your mind to something.

I’m still going to try in 2019 to get a couple of books published on Amazon Kindle this year!


Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!


Anything can be done, and you can do it too.

Please reach out to me for anything. I’ll always get back to as fast as I can.


My heart is full of love.


Life is good and my daughter Lorelei is healthy and happy, so that’s all I need.


Thank you one and all. This means the world to me and I hope you continue to enjoy the content I provide in 2019 and beyond!


There’s so much more to the story!!!


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly


8 Differences between men and women that will amaze you


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly