Neuroscience of Cannabis & Sex – Part 1

The propaganda

In the 1930’s, stories and images of sex-crazed youth were a staple of anti-marijuana propaganda. Sex and rage were intertwined with cannabis in biggest the newspapers across America. There were countless reports of intense lust brought on by smoking reefer, inevitably resulting in violence and assault.

One anti-cannabis article published by William Randolph Hearst ( who, at the time, owned nearly 30 newspapers reaching over 20 million subscribers) read, “… a sex-mad degenerate brutally attacked a young girl… Police officers knew definitely that the man was under the influence of marijuana.”

Today, this statement seems outlandish, but at the time, many believed it plausible that smoking a pure plant could result in “bath salt” like behavior.  The general public was taught to fear marijuana— unaware that it was the same drug as the cannabis plant, which had been used medicinally for hundreds, if not thousands, of years.

Even to those familiar with the species many names, the science surrounding cannabis was meager. Books published 50-100 years prior were still influencing public thought. One in particular, Hashish and Mental Illness, written by psychiatrist J.J. Moreau in 1845, described cannabis-induced fluctuations of emotions, irresistible impulses, illusions, and hallucinations. If you subscribed to Moreau’s view, a sex-crazed assault seemed completely plausible (note: scientists today remain perplexed by his conclusions. Numerous hypotheses involving mixing other drugs have been proposed and debated to explain these observed symptoms, which are extremely rare or non-existent in cannabis users). As we didn’t know how the effect of cannabis on the brain back then, perhaps it could have made you a sex-crazed lunatic.

The implicit message in the W.R. Hearst’s newspapers was that cannabis lowers inhibitions and promotes the execution of sexual urges through violence. This would seem completely reasonable if you were exposed to Moreau’s teaching (from nearly a century earlier!) in addition to the government-fabricated propaganda. It took an evolved scientific understanding of cannabis to overcome this nonsense.

Emerging from the dark ages

The 1960’s was an important decade for the science of cannabis. In 1964, tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the primary high-inducing cannabinoid, was discovered by Israeli scientists. They still didn’t know how it caused people to get high, but like ethanol in wine, people suddenly knew what was affecting their brain. Could THC cause people to become aggressive and capture “innocent youth victims of a new SEX-CRAZE”, as one propaganda poster reported? It was still unclear. Scientists didn’t know what THC was doing in the brain. Of course, there was no actual evidence that cannabis induced aggression or madness, but to many, that wasn’t sufficient.

Just a few years later, the Haight-Ashbury Free Medical Clinic opened and became particularly interested in the interaction between sex and drugs of its patients. Their report exposed cannabis to be a sex-enhancing drug, a position that was confirmed by survey reports on college campuses across the country. None of these reports mentioned elevated levels of aggression or “sex-rage”. But, it took scientists over 25 years before discovering the brain receptor through which THC carries out its effects. After this discovery, it became nearly impossible to take the violence-promoting position.

The discovery of the cannabinoid type I (CB1) receptor along with the identification of the body’s own cannabinoid chemicals (called endogenous cannabinoids) in the early 90’s are what led to the acknowledgement that THC merely modulates a system that’s already in place. This receptor is found throughout the brain and has a general “dampening effect” on brain activity. It has since been determined that this endogenous cannabinoid system, through which THC carries out its euphoric effects, has since been revealed to play important roles in everything from regulating mood to inflammation.

 

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Annoying Things Men Do That Women Misinterpret

One from one of my female readers…

One of the beautiful things about having been with and lived with a man for a long time now is that I’ve gotten an insight into the male mind. I haven’t just learned about the way my boyfriend thinks, but I’ve also learned about the way his friends think. Since I’ve been with my guy for so long now, and his friends come over all of the time, his buddies have started to see me as a safe person to open up to. They’ve put their guards down. They know I’m not going to go running to the women they’re dating and reveal their deepest most vulnerable secrets. They know I’m on their side. I’m a confidante. And, through that, I’ve finally come to understand certain male actions and words that, as a single woman, I totally didn’t get. It turns out some of the things some men do aren’t as bad as we think. I said some of the things that some men do—just to be clear. Here are things men do that women often misinterpret.

Cancelling after a bad day

In the early stages of my relationship, after a very bad day, my boyfriend would just cancel our plans to see each other and ask if we could reschedule. It would upset me—I’d think ,“Why won’t he let me be there for him? Is he trying to keep an emotional distance?”

They want to protect you

My boyfriend finally explained that he just tries to protect me from his bad moods. After a crappy day, he’s worried that he won’t be able to contain his angst and may accidentally be short with me or cold towards me. He’d rather just hide away until he can be his best self. He would, of course, love my comfort and company but he also knows it could be selfish, since he may just be a jerk.

Turning down sex

The first time my boyfriend turned down sex, I panicked. Big time. I thought, “This is it. It’s over. This was just a fling. The chemistry is gone and we have nothing else!” (Yes, I was a bit dramatic). But, I thought for sure, “Men always want to have sex so if he says no, he’s just not into me anymore. Period.”

They can feel emotionally distant

So, it turns out that men don’t always want to have sex. If they’re going through something difficult, they feel emotionally removed from their partners. When my partner is under a lot of stress, he doesn’t want to have sex because he feels weird/bad about being physically close to me when he knows he’s so mentally far away. He says it feels like a lie. That is actually rather considerate, when you think about it.

Not texting; then calling

It used to drive me crazy that I’d send my partner several texts throughout the day to which he would not respond, and then he’d just call me, saying nothing about my texts. “Is he trying to send me some message that he doesn’t want my texting him?” I wondered.

They’d rather call when they can be present

Men are just not as good at texting as women are. Men don’t like texting as much as women do. My boyfriend does, however, like receiving my texts—they make him smile, he says. But he’s not great at formulating the type of response my text deserves, in the little time he has to text. He’d rather just wait to talk until he can call me at the end of the day and be fully present.

Keeping certain friends away

There are some friends that my boyfriend kept away from me for the first couple years of us dating. I thought this was some way of him keeping a distance from me—a way of keeping our relationship casual. I also wondered if he just totally misbehaves himself with these friends, like they’re bad influences.

They don’t want us to be insulted

I eventually learned that my boyfriend can behave himself around these friends but they are, truth be told, his more, errr, brute-ish friends. They say and do things that might gross me out. He’s known them forever, and finds them endearing, but he also doesn’t want them accidentally insulting me.

Asking to watch TV instead of talk

At the end of the day, sometimes my boyfriend cuts me off when I’m asking lots of questions and says, “Is it okay if we just watch TV?” It was hard for me to not be insulted at first. Is that his way of saying I talk too much?

They’re just burnt out

Sometimes, men—and women—are just too burnt out at the end of the day to carry on a good conversation. They feel bad just pretending to engage in a conversation with someone they love, and would rather just watch television, and re-fuel for another time when they’re excited to talk.

Skipping our friend’s bday

Skipping a friend’s birthday, skipping a bar crawl, or skipping other social occasions with my friends is something my boyfriend does from time to time. I used to think it meant he just didn’t care about my friends.

They need to save money

I eventually learned that, the issue wasn’t necessarily that my boyfriend didn’t like my friends. My man was just trying to save money, and was too proud to tell me that. Whoops.

Not talking about their day at work

To me, exchanging stories about our day is a part of bonding. But sometimes my boyfriend says he would just rather not talk about his day at work. At first, I thought, “Well, that’s a pretty big part of your day. It’s weird you don’t want to share it with me.”

They don’t want our pity

It turns out that my boyfriend just has some things happen at work that he worries would make me sad. He’s had bosses and colleagues that haven’t spoken to him nicely or just generally gone through some rough situations. He didn’t want my pity, so he thought it was better to just not discuss his work.

Doing a 180 on feelings

Almost every one of my guy’s best friends—and my guy did this too—did a total 180 on their feelings for a woman. What I mean is that they were very reserved, cool, and holding back. You wouldn’t think they even liked the woman. And then suddenly, they were all in.

They were gathering information

Men and women develop feelings at very different paces. I feel like women are more comfortable with allowing their feelings to just naturally occur. Men, however, hoard their emotions until they’ve gathered enough information on a woman to feel safe showing all their emotions.

 

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Kita – Chapter 37 – Second Date – Xmas – Part 1

“Is there a time between now and when you leave for Florida that I can see you outside of this salon for lunch or dinner?”

“Open your calendar.”

“Is there a time between now and when you leave for Florida that I can see you outside of this salon for lunch or dinner?”

“Open your calendar.”

So it was on for my 2nd date with Kita. I set it up at one of my go to lunch spots and headed over there.

Misconduct is a nautical themed sports bar. I arrived a half an hour early so I could chat with my friend Mary the hostess. (See: Mary – Unexpected Table for Two) Unfortunately because business was slow they cut her early. The place was dead which I like but of course some idiot was responsible for playing the music too loud in the restaurant. That happens more than less and Mary and I both hate it. Why would you crank the music up during lunch when there are business people there and then be stupid enough to leave it at that level when the place is nearly empty?

I mentioned it to my server and she didn’t seem thrilled about asking whoever controls the volume to turn that shit down. If it weren’t for Mary and the great food there I’d boycott that place. She either didn’t make the request or the person ignored it because the music stayed at the same level the entire time I was there. But… I’ll let that go and we’ll go forward.

At least I’m at my favorite table, #12. It’s a high top by the front windows and close to the hostess and service area. It’s also the quietest spot in the restaurant.

I get a text from Kita.

“On my way!”

“You’re the best.”

“I’m in an Uber pool so I’ll be there soon.”

Uber Pool takes a little longer because they usually have a couple of people in the car and the driver has to drop them all off at their destinations.

I see her come in the door and I walk from the table to greet her. She looks so cute in her puffy winter coat. She gives me a big hug, her hair smells delicious.

We sit and the server brings her a water. I already know what I want. I get the same thing every time I go there. Chicken tenders with dipping sauce, and a small bowl of mac and cheese with a side of sriracha to share.

I notice that it seems to take little Kita an exorbitant amount of time to decide what she wants to eat. It’s cute now to watch her struggle with all the choices on the menu. But I’m sure that shit would get super annoying if I were in a relationship with her. You know, you get to the restaurant, you’re hungry, she’s running late. You already know what you want and she’s taking forever to decide between a salad or a sandwich.

I’m just saying… I’ve been at this awhile.

So Kita can’t make up her mind and actually sends the server away twice. The music volume hasn’t been lowered, and now I see our waitress sitting across the room at one of the tables against the wall and is eating.

This server sucks, but I get it. We’re her only customer, she probably put her food order in because it’s dead now and she can actually finally get something to eat before happy hour when the place is cranking in here. But because Kita can’t make up her mind, she probably is like, “fuck her I’m going to eat.”

So when Kita finally knows what she wants the server lets us rot for awhile. I really wanted to thrash her in a bad Yelp review, but this is my last little Christmas lunch date for awhile with this cute baby. So I can’t really get upset because I’m just stupid happy to look across the table and see who came all the way down here into the city to have lunch with ME!

Kita is young, fit and beautiful. She can have lunch with any guy she wants. But I asked and she’s sitting here with me and I adore her.

The server finally drags herself back to our table and thankfully, Kita is ready. We order and then settle back into warm conversation. We talk about the holidays, our families. She tells me her Dad is such a high ranking official in the military she’s doesn’t really know what he does. But she shows me some pics on her phone of her dad and mom flying in what appears to be a small jet. They’re sitting what almost appear to be big plush chairs you’d have in your living room.

“Is that a Gulf Stream?”

“Yea. That’s how my dad gets around. in a Lear Jet.”

“Holy crap! I can’t top that with anything. That’s so cool. Did you or your sister every get to fly on it?”

“No. But if my dad was in Philly and was headed back to Florida, I would most definitely fly on it with him. But I can’t fly on it by myself because that would be a waste of the taxpayers dollars.”

“Speaking of that, what do you think of our current administration?”

“I can’t speak on that because my father has to embrace the President because of his high ranking position in the military. That’s all of his buddies in there. He hangs out with a lot of those guys in Washington.”

“Wow. That’s interesting.” I decide to veer away from that subject.

We’re talking about tanning and the salon, and I don’t know how but we chat about some of the interesting characters that come through on a daily basis. She spends so much time there with me she’s even met a few of them. She has a good memory, is organized, and very bright. She just lacks experience.

That will come, and I can help.

 

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Tales of Rock: Insane Stories From Aerosmith’s Drug-Fueled Rise To The Top – Part 2

Tyler Remembers Being Embarrassed After Getting Too High To Perform

Steven Tyler has had several stints in rehab, but his most rampant drug use occurred throughout the ’70s and ’80s. Tyler remembers getting so high while he was performing that he frequently passed out on stage. Tyler told NME:

I can remember one time I fell down and my foot kept going like this [shakes foot wildly] and this guy carried me off and I went “I just drank too much.” I was embarrassed. I literally couldn’t finish the show.

He added, “We just got caught up in it. We were too rich, too young, too dumb. That’s all. I just got caught up in it, I loved it. I went too far with it.”

Steven Tyler Kept His Drugs In is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list Insane Stories From Aerosmith's Drug-Fueled Rise To The Top
Photo: Does the Noise in my Head Bother You?/Amazon
Steven Tyler Kept His Drugs In A Drum On Stage

Steven Tyler and the gang already had a roadie whose sole job was to give them continuous bumps of cocaine, but that wasn’t enough for Tyler, who kept his stash in a drum on stage.

“I kept my medicine cabinet on stage, in a 14-inch drum head, the bottom of which contained… one Dixie cup with a straw and blow in it and the other with Coca-Cola and Jack Daniels in it,” he wrote in Does the Noise in My Head Bother You?

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Photo: daigooliva/Wikimedia Commons/CC BY-SA 2.0
The Band Wouldn’t Sleep With Groupies For 10 Days Before Going Home To Their Wives

For Aerosmith, cheating on their wives and girlfriends wasn’t so much a moral dilemma. The only real issue was getting caught. To prevent this, the band had a rule that no one would have sex for 10 days before the end of a tour. This allegedly gave them enough time to refuel their “reserves.”

 

“You didn’t have sex for 10 days at the end of tour, but that was so you’d be sure to go home with a full cup of chowder. If you didn’t, you were definitely suspect,” Tyler told Elle.

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Photo: US Navy photo by Photographer’s Mate 3rd Class Christopher B. Stoltz/Wikimedia Commons/Public Domain
Steven Tyler Fell Off Stage And Had To Be Airlifted To A Hospital

In 2009, a 61-year-old Steven Tyler found himself within inches of death when he fell off a stage during a performance in Rapid City, South Dakota. The singer had been snorting the sleep aid Lunesta when he took a tumble. Tyler was airlifted to a local hospital where he got 20 stitches in the back of his head and discovered that his shoulder was shattered.

 

“I was doing the Tyler shuffle and then I zigged when I should have zagged…AND I slipped, and as I live on the edge… I fell off the edge,” Tyler said in a statement.

 

The singer managed to finish the song like a pro, but the band had to cancel their tour. Tyler, who has a titanium knee from a previous stage accident, was “grateful” that he didn’t break his neck and later admittedto being high during the accident.

ROCKThe Best Aerosmith Albums of All Timesee more Aerosmith lists
Joe Perry Played Guitar On An Unsettling Song By Serge Gainsbourg
Ranker Video
Video: YouTube

Aerosmith aren’t strangers to singing about attraction to family members, but “Janie’s Got a Gun” doesn’t hold a candle to French pop singer Serge Gainsbourg’s song “Lemon Incest,” a duet about interbreeding sung with his young daughter in far-too-intimate tones. When translated into English, the lyrics read “Exquisite outline, delicious child, my flesh and blood/Oh my baby, my soul/incest lemon, lemon incest.” The video featured a shirtless Gainsbourg lying in bed with his daughter. Joe Perry lent his guitar skills to the track.

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Photo: daigooliva/Wikimedia Commons/CC BY-SA 2.0
Joe Perry Claims Steven Tyler Tried To Get Involved In One Of His Relationships

When Joe Perry was 21 years old, he had an affair with actress Judy Carne, who was 11 years his senior. Judy opened his eyes to a new world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. She had a doctor’s bag that was filled with cocaine, pill bottles, powders and syringes. Most of her drugs were totally legal, prescribed to her by a doctor. She even managed to get a prescription of cocaine.

 

This was all very attractive to Steven Tyler, especially because Carne was generous when it came to sharing her drugs. According to Perry, Tyler not only wanted to get into her stash, but he wanted to have a threesome and repeatedly called Perry hoping to be invited over. During this time, Carne was bed-ridden because of an injury, and Perry wasn’t having it.

 

“I now sensed that Steven wanted to get into her doctor’s bag — and maybe get into something else. I never invited him over,” Perry recalled in his memoir Rocks: My Life In and Out of Aerosmith. “Forced to stay off her fee, Judy was naked most of the time and didn’t want company. I had no interest in a threesome and neither did she. We just wanted to be alone.”

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Photo: FOX
Steven Tyler Never Told His Band He Was Joining ‘American Idol,’ And They Were Furious

Steven Tyler wasn’t in a good place with his bandmates when he started thinking about being a judge on American Idol. The Aerosmith singer had recently undergone surgery after falling from a stage and being taken to a hospital. None of his bandmates visited him during his recovery, which definitely soured the singer. His bandmates weren’t too thrilled either when they found out Tyler had taken the job behind their backs. Joe Perry reported to the Boston Herald that he discovered Tyler’s new gig through the internet “like the rest of the world.”

 

Tyler’s bandmates were furious that the singer became an American Idol judge without telling them, and they consistently threatened to replace the singer in their project of 40 years.

 

“It’s his business, but I don’t want Aerosmith’s name involved with [American Idol]. We have nothing to do with it,” Perry said in an interview. “[Idol] is a reality show designed to get people to watch that station and sell advertising… it’s one step above Ninja Turtles… [You’ve got] four guys that are great together, and if you find the right singer, there’s no reason you can’t go and entertain people,” he added.

 

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Tales of Rock: Insane Stories From Aerosmith’s Drug-Fueled Rise To The Top – Part 1

Just how much did Aerosmith embrace the sex and drugs typically associated with a rock-and-roll lifestyle? Well, if it’s any indication, enigmatic front man Steven Tyler estimates he blew through a whopping $20 million on drugs. Their drug use was so notorious that Steven Tyler and Joe Perry were labeled the “Toxic Twins.”

Most of Aerosmith’s stories of debauchery take place long before most people ever heard the now-legendary “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” in the Armageddon soundtrack. The ’70s and ’80s were the band’s most hedonistic years, during which Tyler and Perry would swap women as wantonly as they would swap drugs. They even hired a roadie just to sneak cocaine under their noses during live shows.

Since their height of fame, Tyler appears to have come out on the other side and sticks to a strict 12-step program after numerous stints in rehab. That doesn’t erase the over-indulgent, mind-boggling toxic twins stories of Aerosmith’s past. Here are some of the craziest, most unbelievable shenanigans the band carried out in their nearly 50-year career.

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Photo: daigooliva/Wikimedia Commons/CC BY-SA 2.0
Tyler Remembers Sharing Women – And STIs – With Perry

Aerosmith, like most rock bands of the ’70s, were known for the sheer amount of groupies they worked their way through during their chart-topping career. Even though there were certainly enough women to go around, sometimes the band members decided to share. This didn’t always go in their favor. In fact, after one group love-making session, Steven Tyler and Joe Perry woke up in the same bed only to find out later that everyone had developed an STD.

 

“I remember one night on the road when Joe and I were sharing a bed with two girls and woke up in the morning with a seafood blue plate special…” Tyler wrote in his memoir Does the Noise in My Head Bother You? “Crabs for everybody!”

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Photo: ChrisGampat/Wikimedia Commons/CC BY 2.0
Perry And Tyler Confirmed The Band Had A Roadie Whose Sole Job Was To Give Them Cocaine

The guys from Aerosmith were the kind of rock stars who didn’t wait until after the show to party. Both Joe Perry and Steven Tyler hired a roadie whose sole job was to give them bumps of cocaine during their set.

Joe [Perry] had vials of coke with straws in them at the back of the stage, and when the lights would go out he’d go over there like he was checking something or making a guitar change and [a roadie] would put the straw in his nose; he’d take a hit, then the lights would come on again,”

Tyler wrote in Does the Noise in My Head Bother You? Perry confirmed this fact to NME:

“Yep,” he said when asked if Tyler hired a roadie to give them coke on stage. “We’ve done everything… stuff happens man, and we’ve done it and managed to survive. We’re lucky.

They Once Got Arrested And Nar... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Insane Stories From Aerosmith's Drug-Fueled Rise To The Top
Photo: Jean-Luc/Wikimedia Commons/CC BY-SA 2.0
They Once Got Arrested And Narrowly Evaded Serious Jail Time By Ditching Their Drugs In The Police Station

Aerosmith’s drug habits were so notorious that it’s unsurprising they had a few run-ins with the law. One of the most nerve-wracking was when they got pulled over, arrested, and taken to the police station with drugs in their pockets.

 

Bassist Tom Hamilton recalled the incident. The band was driving around the New Jersey Turnpike in a rented van. Each of them had drugs in their pockets when they were pulled over by the police. After a search, the officer spotted a marijuana seed in the car. He handcuffed the five of them and hauled them off to jail.  They were handcuffed to a railing in their cell so they were a fair distance apart from each other. So how did they get out of it? A little bit of luck and a little quick-thinking.

 

“Brad actually had two bags of pot,” Hamilton told NME.

There was a room right adjacent to where we were handcuffed and there was an empty room, lights were off. Steven said “Gimme the pot, Gimme the pot,” and he just chucked two bags of pot into this room. Then we waited a while. Then a detective or somebody came down, flicked the lights on and said “Okay, time to fingerprint you guys.” So, we all went in one by one to get finger printed and everybody could see where the pot was, but the police didn’t.

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Photo: Baying At The Moon/Amazon
Angry Crew Members Used The Band’s Catering As Toilet Paper

Aerosmith band members were big stars with big personalities. No doubt their wild antics were a lot to handle – especially for the people in charge of making their shows run smoothly. Sometimes, the crew would get really angry and retaliate in the most disgusting of ways, or so Tyler remembers. Apparently, some scorned crew members would regularly wipe their butts with the bologna on Aerosmith’s catering tray and put it back for the band to consume like nothing ever happened.

 

“I found out years later (through a crew member confessional) that when the techs would get pissed off at the band, they’d wipe their ass with the bologna and put back on the deli tray,” Tyler wrote in Does the Noise in My Head Bother You?

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How to Tell if Someone Has a Crush on You

Practical Ways of Detecting Secret Admirers

You may suspect one of your friends or coworkers is interested in asking you out on a date.

This is either good or bad news, depending on the circumstances, and your feelings.

Obviously, not all crushes are welcome or healthy.

Some progress into unrequited love —which I have dealt with for years in my professional life prosecuting stalkers. But some crushes are harmless, and some are reciprocal.With reciprocity, however, comes insecurity.

Your crush-detector begins to waver when you are already interested in the other person because you have traded in your reading glasses for rose-colored glasses, making it harder to accurately interpret signals indicating interest.

The good news is that there are some objective ways to determine whether or not someone has a crush on you. Here are a few ways to tell.

Proximity: The Not-So-Secret Admirer

You might remember this from grade school.

Someone who likes you wants to be around you. The fellow student who snagged the desk next to you in a class or found a way to squeeze into your table in the school cafeteria might now be the fellow coworker who grabs a seat next to you in the lunchroom, or the neighbor who joins you at the counter at the corner coffee shop or deli. But how do you know it is not just coincidence?

A potential suitor who pursues getting-to-know-you through proximity might not be obvious about his or her intentions due to insecurity or social awkwardness. Nonetheless, these people will likely do or say something to ensure you know they are there — from asking if the seat is taken, to saying hello, to finding another reason to spark (even brief) conversation. About what? Probably something you have mentioned to them in the past.

Selective Memory

Someone who is interested in you remembers what interests you.

From music, to travel, to favorite foods, a person with a crush wants to please you — often demonstrating selective memory through conversation. Someone who likes you remembers what you reveal about yourself. (This is also, by the way, why you should avoid revealing personal details to strangers.)

Someone with a crush on you will ask about topics or events you mentioned in passing. They want to know how you are enjoying the book you are reading, or the movie you said you were going to see over the weekend.

Admirers who know you fairly well ask about your family members and friends. The common denominator is their tendency to distinguish themselves from your other acquaintances by what they remember about you.

But hold on, don´t good networkers and politicians do the same thing?

You bet, which is why you need to examine more than one factor.

When it comes to selective memory, for example, potential suitors often act on the information you share. Ideally, this behavior is appropriately tailored to the setting.

A bag of peanut M&Ms left on your chair at work might be appropriate; a box of Valentine chocolate is not. Within more established relationships, two admission tickets to the county fair for you and your child might be appreciated, where a single ticket to the opera is inappropriate (guess who has the seat next to you).

Here is an interesting one. Do you ever take a lunch or a snack break with someone you suspect is interested in you? Pay attention to what they order.

When Snack Selection Reveals Affection

Xun (Irene) Huang and Ping Dong in “Romantic Crushes Promote Variety‐seeking Behavior” (from 2018) demonstrated through a series of studies that having a romantic crush increases variety-seeking consumption behavior. Apparently, as they explain, this stems from a desire to regain a sense of control — which is lost within the throes of an unreciprocated romantic crush.

Huang and Dong describe a romantic crush as the state in which someone has not communicated their feelings to the object of their affection, but has expectations for sparking a romantic relationship. A crush is therefore not a mutual relationship with reciprocal feelings of affection.

What types of foods did they test? In one study they found that participants with a crush expressed a more positive attitude to a flavored yogurt variety-bundle (containing five different flavors) than a single-flavor bundle. In another study they found that participants writing a story about their romantic crush selected more candy flavors offered to them afterwards than participants without a crush who wrote about a typical day.

How do you know if your variety-seeking lunch partner is experiencing a crush, but not on you? Good question. This is why we have to examine such behavior in combination with other indications of romantic interest.And sure, some people just believe variety is the spice of life and behave accordingly. But someone who reveals multiple different indicators in having a crush on you — probably does.

 

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – My Altamont Moment

We were playing this gig at the Roxy one night. May have been ’83 by then. Girls were never a problem. Anybody who doesn’t believe guitars are chick magnets has obviously never strapped on a guitar before. Anyway, we played all over the state, working pretty steady, staying in all manner of “band housing”. We were at a better-than-average club and doing our normal thing.

This particular night the bar was having a drawing for something, I can’t remember what. We were going to have a longer break than usual after one of our sets so they could use our PA to do the drawing. I went to the bar and was getting a coke. A rather attractive girl asked me if we did a certain song she liked, to which I nodded and replied “next set, I think”. Our drummer was standing there waiting on me, as he wanted to get in a game of pool while we waited for the drawing to get over. We went to the tables and he racked up the game. I was lining up my first shot when I heard “hey, asshole”. I, of course, looked up to see who was calling who an asshole. What I saw was what turned out to be the butt end of a pool cue coming at my face at rather high velocity. It caught me on the bridge of my nose. I’m done. I’m collapsed on the pool table, screaming, blood pouring from my face. The drummer tackled the guy swinging the cue as he was lining up for another whack at me. Then the singer (not a small guy) jumped in. They, with a bouncer, dragged the guy out thru the kitchen and behind the bar where they damn near killed him. Turns out the attractive girl who asked me about the song had an extremely jealous ex-boyfriend who was in the bar and saw her talking to me.

A couple days later, after the swelling went down and my eyes were able to open, she took me to dinner. She was really embarrassed over the whole thing. Just dinner, too. She had another boyfriend already, a cop. Who just happened to be the responding officer that night who ended up arresting ex-boyfriend for assault. Guess there were a few too many witnesses for him to claim self defense.

Rock n’ Roll!

 

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