If You Start Dating Your Best Friend, Remember These 6 Important Things

So, it happened. You caught feelings for your BFF. When a relationship starts out platonic and blossoms into something more, it can be tricky to know how to navigate the shift. But let’s say you’ve done it — you’ve expressed your feelings, you both have a crush, and you decide to take the leap into romantic territory. Yay! When you start dating your best friend, it’s exciting and scary at the same time. You know this person well, and they’re already your go-to pal, but now you also get to make out with them on the reg. What a time to be alive.

As thrilling as it is, though, dating your bestie doesn’t always come as naturally as you might expect. After all, it’s a big change from your former status as “just friends.” When you become romantically involved, your relationship is going to be different than it was before. And it requires some intentional thought as to how you’re going to make things work. “Everything will change,” explains Jennifer B. Rhodes, PsyD. “Expecting it will help you cultivate the flexibility you will need to move through the transition.” It’s important to stay open to change so you can work through it together as a couple.

If you’ve just started dating your best friend, keep the following things in mind to help your relationship thrive.

1. YOU BOTH NEED TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE.

This is important in any new relationship, but especially with BFFs, you risk hurt feelings if one of you wants something more serious than the other does. “Questions such as, ‘Are you monogamous?’ or, ‘Are you entering the murky water of FWB?’ will need to be answered,” says dating coach Julie Spira. “If one wants to have a casual relationship or FWB, and the other is falling in love, it will backfire. Make sure you’re on the same page, and it will help with the bumps on the road.”

2. DEVELOPING A ROUTINE WILL HELP YOU ADJUST.

When you transition from friends into romantic partners, your schedules will need to adapt to meet this shift. Don’t expect that you’ll be spending the same amount of time together as you did when you were friends — it might be more or less, depending on what feels right for both of you. “Do you have a standing date night such as Saturday night, or are you spending the entire weekend together?” Spira wonders. “Once you get in a groove, your relationship will grow like any other.” The sooner you can figure out how often you want to see each other, the easier time you will have settling into the relationship.

3. YOU MIGHT BE TEMPTED TO MOVE TOO QUICKLY.

Unlike dating someone you just met, you already know this person extremely well. It’s a huge plus because you know how to have fun together, but it can also make it feel like your romantic relationship is farther along than it really is. Don’t risk getting too serious too quickly. “Just like every relationship, you need to go through the phases,” Spira explains. “To go from being BFFs to moving in overnight isn’t a good idea.” Remember that even though you have history together, this dating partnership is new for both of you. The more careful you can be about taking your time, the less likely you are to get too deep into something you can’t sustain.

4. YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY WILL BE CURIOUS.

The people in your life know you two as friends, so they’ll need time to adjust to you being a couple. You might not need to introduce your SO to your friends and family (if they already know him or her), but you will need to introduce them as your partner. Be intentional about this. “Let’s not forget about your extended group of friends who will now be seeing you as a couple instead of two close friends,” Spira notes. She says that telling your squad might be scary, but it’s important to do it whenever you feel comfortable.

You can tell them together or separately, whatever feels more natural — but try to emphasize how excited you are for this next step. It doesn’t mean you’ll lose your friendships with them, just that things will be a little different from now on. Your friends should be excited to see you happy, and it’ll help you feel like a more established couple if you get your love out into the open when you’re ready.

5. YOUR COMMUNICATION TACTICS MAY NEED TO SHIFT.

Don’t expect that you’ll be able to communicate the same way you have in the past. Even if you’re accustomed to talking about vulnerable things, the subjects you discuss will change a bit. “The more you can communicate about your needs and desires, the easier it is for your partner to be their best and vice-versa,” Spira says. With BFFs, you don’t need to have conversations about defining the relationship, physical boundaries, or sexual preferences. As partners, these will all become important topics to discuss. Don’t shy away from the tough stuff because you’re nervous about how the conversation will go — instead, consider open communication essential to deepening your bond.

6. STAYING OPEN TO CHANGE IS YOUR KEY TO SUCCESS.

As much as you loved your friendship, you’re starting a new chapter now. And this is going to bring about change — there’s no doubt about it. But if you go in knowing this, you’ll be open to rolling with the transitions as they come. “Don’t take each other for granted,” Spira emphasizes. You’ve been in each other’s lives for a long time, but don’t let that make you complacent! “Allow the relationship to grow in a natural way, and decide together if you’re working towards a future together,” Spira suggests. Just like any other relationship, you’ll grow together in stages, so embrace the process and keep an open mind.

When it’s pursued with intention, dating your best friend can be pure magic. “Having a romantic partner who is your best friend is like winning the love lottery,” Spira says. “Enjoy and savor every moment.” It’s so exciting to take your relationship to the next level, even if it’s not always easy. Remember why you got along so well in the first place, and use that as a foundation to help your romantic life blossom into something even greater.

 

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Tales of Rock: Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards’ life in photos in new ‘Keith, Unfiltered’ show

The Rolling Stones recently announced rescheduled dates for their “No Filter” tour after lead singer Mick Jagger underwent successful heart surgery. But for those who don’t want to wait for the Stones to hit the stage, guitarist Keith Richards, legendary for both his iconic rock riffs and his imperviousness to drugs and alcohol, has his own “Keith, Unfiltered” show up right now.

The Morrison Hotel Gallery is featuring five decades of iconic photographs of Richards at all three of its locations: New York City, Los Angeles and Maui.

“Keith, Unfiltered” shows Richards in classic portraits at work and at play, which in his case often involves cigarettes and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Following are a selection of shots from the show, along with the photographers’ vivid memories of hanging out with perhaps the greatest rock ‘n’ roll guitarist of all time.

Keith Richards. “Patience Please” during The Stones tour of America – STP Tour, 1972

(Ethan Russell/Morrison Hotel Gallery)

Ethan Russell: “… I was traveling with the Rolling Stones, watching from the sidelines, when I noticed the sign. I called Keith over and took two quick snaps. The customs officer threatened to confiscate the film, so I retired quickly. I knew what I had.”

Keith Richards, The Third Eye. Industria Studios, New York City

(Stephanie Pfriender Stylander/Morrison Hotel Gallery)

Stephanie Pfriender Stylander: “Black set, hot lights, smoke, drink, music, film, rock and roll, Nikons, ashes, Dolce & Gabbana, ‘how are you doin’ love’, as Keith gets out of the dark limo walking into the studio, we start in this atmosphere, intimate, moving, cinematic and real.”

Keith Richards, England, 1966

(Gered Mankowitz/Morrison Hotel Gallery)

Gered Mankowitz: “In 1966, I photographed each individual member of the Rolling Stones at home so as to create a stock library of these more personal and individual images for press use. By this time there was an increasing demand for such images and the band hated the idea of having unknown photographers coming to their homes. Keith is photographed here at his glorious home Redlands in West Sussex with his beloved Bentley motor car, which he called Blue Lena after the great singer Lena Horne. By this time, Keith and I had become pretty close, and the entire day was a joy of picture taking and giggling with Keith showing his own particular take of this rather cheesy ‘at home’ format!”

Keith Richards, New York City, 1988

(Timothy White/Morrison Hotel Gallery)

Timothy White: “It was a major coming-of-age moment for me. No publicists or bodyguards, just a rising photographer and this legend I’d grown up listening to. Between rounds of pool and drinks at an otherwise vacant dive bar in Tribeca this is among the few shots we managed to get before heading over to the Hudson to catch the sunset. Crossing Greenwich Avenue, we were stopped by an NYPD office asking Keith to sign his violation book. Moments later, a few more showed up. I tried to rush things along as the sun began to sink, but when a female officer opened her bulletproof vest to reveal the Rolling Stones shirt she wore under her uniform, Keith couldn’t refuse signing just one more autograph. I may not have gotten that moment on film but we did manage to get the shots we were looking for and then some. Turning away from New York’s finest, he told me, ‘I could run for mayor of this town.’ After that day, I’m convinced he could, and win, too.”

Keith Richards, Midwest Airport, 1979

(Henry Diltz/Morrison Hotel Gallery)

Henry Diltz: “I spent three weeks on the road in 1979 with the New Barbarians; Ronnie Wood’s solo album touring band, which was like the Rolling Stones without Mick Jagger. We traveled on a huge jet plane from city to city. Each time we landed, eight limos would appear on the runway around the plane, and the band members would descend the steps and look for their own private limo and driver. Here, Keith is getting off of the place in St, Louis, looking for his limo and driver and carrying the thing that mattered most… his bottle of Jack Daniels.”

All images are for sale online as well as at each Morrison Hotel gallery.

 

Sun Stories: Summer – Astonished – Part 3 – Update

 

UPDATE: They’ve run a battery of tests on Summer and the baby. They have determined that the child is fine and there are no problems that they can see. So that’s wonderful news for now.

Summer is a straight A student, but hates to do all the homework they assign the students. She simply pays someone else to do it, then goes in and crushes the exams.

Leave it to this bright, cunning, lovable, repugnant, remorseless girl dodge 9 months of pregnancy. She’s having the baby in 3 months. She’s been pregnant for 6 months. So to her since she found out, she’ll only have to stay sober for 3 months in stead of 9 because 6 of those months are behind her. So to her it feels like a 3 month pregnancy and then boom, baby.

When her father heard the news that the child seemed perfectly healthy, he said “My daughter’s got an Iron Placenta.” (Sounds like a good name for a Death Metal band)

Her mother is already super excited to be a grandmother at 47. These people are rich, that child isn’t going to want for anything. I just pray that it’s okay health and developmentally in it’s formative years.

 

Oh, by the way… It’s a boy.

 

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Tales of Rock – 5 False facts about classic rock artists you always thought were true

It’s pretty easy for a rumor to become fact in the public eye, especially if that rumor involves somebody famous—like a classic rock star—and it might have been even easier before the internet, when we had the good folks at Snopes to help us debunk the bad stuff. Think about it, and it’s easy to understand why so many false facts about your parents’ favorite rockers persist. All the following stories have one thing in common: none are the slightest bit true.

1. Keith Richards, heroin vampire

5 False facts about classic rock artists you always thought were true

Of all the rock stars you’d expect to have died long ago, Keith Richards has to be tops on the list. He’s taken seemingly every drug there is, yet he survives and thrives at 74 years young.

That’s utterly baffling to a lot of people, so some have concocted their own theories as to how. One of the more popular (and inane) posits that in 1973, the Rolling Stones guitarist needed to kick heroin in time for a major European tour, so he traveled to Switzerland and had all of his blood–as in, every single drop–replaced, immediately curing himself of his addiction in the bargain.

This is, of course, completely asinine. Yet as Snopes explains, the crazy myth spread thanks to the most official of sources: Richards himself. Apparently, the rocker had gone to Switzerland for an experimental blood purification process—not blood replacement—but quickly grew tired of reporters asking him about it, so he chose to play with their heads, telling them he just got all-new blood and asking them, “How do you like my blood change?” He apparently played the joke too straight, because enough people bought into it that decades later, Richards still has the reputation of a guy who changes blood as easily as Dracula moving on to a new victim.

2. Stevie Nicks, all about that (cocaine) bass

5 False facts about classic rock artists you always thought were true

Stories of rock stars abusing drugs are almost as old as drugs themselves, and while plenty are true, others are pure conjecture. The story of Stevie Nicks’ backside meeting cocaine is 100 percent the latter.

As the story goes, Nicks, a heavy cocaine user, had snorted so much of the stuff it had eaten a big hole through her nose. Unable to snort properly anymore, she did what any true addict would: find a new way to get her fix. According to legend, the Fleetwood Mac front woman started having cocaine shot up her butt by a presumably very well-paid assistant. It’s perhaps the ultimate in rock star excess—if it were true, anyway. And Nicks herself has gone on record as saying it isn’t.

In a 2001 interview with Q, Nicks refuted the coke-bum myth, saying “Of course that never, ever happened. That is an absurd statement. It’s not true.” At the same time, she did admit to the hole in her nose, which she quipped was big enough for her to slip a belt through.

But while the myth had her refusing to quit cocaine in spite of the hole in her nose, the truth is…she refused to to quit cocaine in spite of the hole in her nose. She just kept on snorting—at least until she finished her 1986 Rock a Little tour, at which point she finally hit (ahem) bottom and went to rehab.

3. Gene Simmons, beef licker

5 False facts about classic rock artists you always thought were true

Even people who can’t stand Kiss are at least impressed with Gene Simmons’ super-long tongue. He can flick it well below his chin—which, combined with his “Demon” makeup, makes him look plain otherworldly. Surely such a monstrous liquid-lapper couldn’t be natural, right? Thus was born the myth that Simmons once had a normal human tongue, but underwent an operation to have it replaced with a cow’s.

As Snopes points out, there isn’t one part of this rumor that isn’t absolutely ridiculous. For one thing, a tongue transplant wasn’t really possible in the 1960s or ’70s, which is when Simmons would have needed to get it done. Besides, even if it were, a cow’s tongue would look preposterous in a human mouth. A cow tongue can weigh well over a pound and a half and stretch to the length of a good-sized cutting board. If this rumor was true, Simmons would probably have broken his neck decades ago.

Simmons is aware of the rumor and appears greatly amused by it. Really, who wouldn’t be? But in his autobiography Kiss and Make-Up, he set the record straight: it’s a human tongue, and it’s served him well. Clearly, cows are only required when Gene craves a burger.

4. Pink Floyd and the (yellow brick) road not taken

5 False facts about classic rock artists you always thought were true

Dark Side of the Moon is one of the greatest albums ever. The Wizard of Oz is one of the greatest movies ever. And according to popular legend, their powers combined make both even greater: Apparently, if you play Moon and Oz at the same time by starting the album at the MGM lion’s third roar, they sync up perfectly, because Pink Floyd is just that incredible of a band.

As it turns out, Pink Floyd is only kind of incredible. The Wizard of Oz thing (popularly called “Dark Side of the Rainbow”) has been tested many times, and they don’t really sync up at all. Maybe a few moments work, like when (as Goldmine reports) Dorothy has a vision of Kansas as Floyd’s “Time” sings “Home, home again/I like to be there when I can,” but it’s entirely coincidental. Drummer Nick Mason officially debunked the myth in 2010, telling the BBC, “The Tin Man, and the Straw Man, and all the rest of it, had absolutely zero to do with [Moon].”

So how did this absurd rumor even start? Well, according to Little White Lies, it appears to have originated on a ’90s Internet forum dedicated to Floyd. That, combined with a viral 1995 article that details how to access the synchronicity, gave the myth enough life to survive the band laughing it off, and years of people trying it out and learning nothing except that Oz is a better film when you can hear Dorothy speak.

(On a side note, people also think that you can sync Rush’s 2112 album up with Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.)

5. Phil Collins’ fictitious quest for justice

5 False facts about classic rock artists you always thought were true

When song lyrics go vague, fans are forced to come up with their own meanings. The prevailing interpretation of Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight” might be the most bonkers theory ever dreamed up, but its sheer implausibility hasn’t stopped people from believing it to this day.

As described by Snopes, the myth goes that Collins wrote “Tonight” after witnessing a man who could’ve saved someone from drowning, but didn’t. Disgusted, Collins spent years tracking the man down—and once he did, he sent the guilty party a free front-row ticket to one of his shows. Once he saw the man, Collins started playing “In the Air Tonight,” which called out the non-hero with the lines “Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand / I’ve seen your face before my friend, but I don’t know if you know who I am / Well I was there and I saw what you did, I saw it with my own two eyes / So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you’ve been / It’s all been a pack of lies.”

Eventually, Collins supposedly even had a spotlight aimed at the guy, exposing and humiliating him in front of thousands. That’s pretty hardcore, especially for the man who gave us “Sussudio.”

An interesting story, but it’s totally false. Such a scenario would basically be impossible, and even if it did happen, how would everybody else at the show even know what was happening? Collins discussed the real meaning behind the song during an appearance on The Tonight Show, and naturally, it wound up being completely unrelated to drowning. Basically, Collins was going through a divorce, he was angry, and the song was a reflection of his anger. That’s all, folks. Eminem lied to you.

 

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Side Piece

One evening I was just hanging in my front yard in Santa Monica when I noticed a girl pull up and park. She sat there for a few minutes too long and looked quite frazzled. I was half-tempted to go see if she was alright, but sat back and let her be until she got out of her car and approached my front gate.

In disarray, she was trying to meet up with someone nearby but couldn’t remember the exact address and asked if she could use the phone inside my place. (Years before the first cell phone!)

Now normally I wouldn’t let just anyone into my house without knowing them, but let’s just say she was without a doubt attractive, not to mention had a pretty revealing top on, and I figured what’s the worst that could happen? So I let her in and we both engaged in conversation on my couch. She makes her phone call and whoever was on the other end says they’ll have to call her right back. I give her my number and she relays it to the party on the other end of the line.

She seemed alright, but I kept getting the vibe she had something more she wanted to say, which is when she eventually let me in on the fact that she was sorta seeing someone. She went on, ‘Yeah, but he’s kinda famous, and it’s not suppose to be known that we’re hanging out because he sorta has a girlfriend.’ I said alright and wasn’t even going to press who it was, but she finally revealed that the “kinda famous person” was lo and behold Rob Lowe and that she was reluctant to meet up with him at this party she was headed to.

The phone rang and she answered it. She abruptly grabbed her things, and awkwardly stood there. I must have been making inappropriate eye contact at one point or another, because she then went ahead and goes, ‘You could touch ‘em if you want, for letting me use your  phone and all… ’ Yep, she was talking about her boobs. However, I got the feeling she was crazy, plus they clearly were fake, so I sent her on her way.

 

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7 Women Who Caught Feelings For Their Best Friends Revealed What Happens When They Confessed

Are you ready for some majorly juicy stories? Well, seven women who caught feelings for their best friends just shared all of the details on Reddit AskWomen. From Harry and Sally to Jim and Pam, we’ve got plenty of examples of best friends falling in love to look to on TV and in movies. In fact, I’d go so far as to argue that it’s one of our favorite romantic narratives. But, obvi, TV and movies don’t always accurately reflect real life. IRL, developing feelings for your best friend can be way more complicated. What if they don’t feel the same way and your friendship is ruined forever? What if they do feel the same way but you just don’t vibe as a couple? What if they start dating someone else and it slowly crushes your soul piece by piece?! You get the picture. It’s daunting. You’re not guaranteed a happy ending like the characters in your favorite shows and movies.

But there is one universal truth that you can take comfort in if you’re in love with your best friend: You’re not alone. Plenty of people find themselves falling in love with their best friends. And, luckily, a few of them shared their stories on Reddit’s AskWomen thread. Read along below as seven ladies share what happened when they started developing feelings for their best friends.

 

Oh god, yes. I was desperately in love with my best friend for ages. I thought he felt the same and was also just too timid to say anything. Then one night we’re out and super drunk already and he pulls me away from the crowd and says he has to tell me something important. I was convinced that he’s about to tell me he loves me, but he was just beating around the bush for a while. I had it and decided to make the first step. I was just about to get up and kiss him when he finally says what he wanted to say and tells me that he’s gay. So that was that.

THEY WERE NEVER ABLE TO GET THE TIMING RIGHT.

Bustle on YouTube

I have and it didn’t turn out well. They actually admitted they had feelings for me first, but by the time I realized I felt the same things had changed between us. I told him, but I had screwed it up again and he didn’t feel the same way. We’re friends still, but he’s dating someone else which is nice since he seems happy with her.

More than anything though I regret taking so long to realize and so long to make a move. I wonder if things would be different if I did something sooner. So if you have feelings for your friend just go for it OP.

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Sabrina – Surprise Visit – Part 2

I take her back to the Versa Spa spray tan machine. I show her where to put the barrier lotion. (Between the fingers, beds of the nails, palms, between the toes and soles of the feet.) That’s where you don’t want the solution to go. I show her how to wear the hair net. (Above the hairline so you don’t get a weird crescent on your forehead below your hairline.) Then I show her the four poses you have to do while getting sprayed. It looks like we’re “Vogueing” in the hallway together.

I tell her there’s a woman’s voice that will guide her through the whole process.

“How long is the process?”

“The whole session is only four minutes. If you can follow directions, you can get a great spray tan. Any questions?”

“I think I got it.”

“Then go to it Sabrina.”

In she goes, and I head back up to the front of the salon. I’m thinking how great Sabrina looks. She’s come a long way at thirty-four years of age. I remember she told me she was addicted for ten years! How did she survive and look as good as she does? That’s fucking heroin! I’m so proud of her!

Fifteen minutes later, lovely Sabrina emerges from Room 8 and approaches the counter. I tell her she has to stay dry for the next 6 hours. She thanks me profusely and gives me a hug.

She’s so sweet to me and tells me that she wants to go to Gran Caffe L’Aquila for dinner for her 1 year anniversary of sobriety.

I’m honored to be the man that will sit across the table from this beautiful woman on that day. (God, my blog has gotten so much better and so have I!)

Sabrina heads out and I wish her a Happy New Year and I remind her she must stay dry for the next six hours for the tan to develop.

——————————————————————–

Later Update: Sabrina wrote a glorious 5 Star Yelp review about me and our salon. (Better than money!)

I text her and thanked her and wished her a Happy New Year. She texted me back that she had done something bad.

I was terrified. Had she re-offended with drugs?

“What happened?”

“I slept with my ex.”

Oh… But technically you’re not divorced yet so you just slept with your husband.”

Oh yea.. Thank you for that. But now he’s not texting me or anything.”

“I know you said the sex was fire between you guys and I get that, but if you guys hooked up, I think that’s all it was.”

“Oh.”

“You’re relationship was toxic and dangerous for over 10 years. If you slept with him I think that’s all it was. I’m sorry. But steer clear so you don’t re-offend. He’s not going to get back to you because you can never go back to that toxic relationship that destroyed you. ”

“But…”

“No. Resist and stay sober. I hate the holidays.”

“But I…”

“I know Sabrina. Go forward. I know it’s hard, but let go of the bars of your addiction and walk out of your cell. You’re doing great.”

“Thank you! I love you and value our friendship! Hope you know I plan on being in your life for a long time.

What a lovely person.

“Promise? Because that’s what I want Sabrina!

“Thank you… Hey, I know what I did was wrong but because of my awesome spray tan I looked awesome naked thanks to you! (And thank you for that delicious visual, Sabrina!)

I love Sabrina and I would love to see more of her because she’s a beautiful person. Not just on the outside.

I can’t wait to see her again.

 

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