14 of the Weirdest, Craziest, Philly-est Stories from 2018

Greased poles, profane potholes, farm animals roaming the city. Just another year in Philadelphia.

https://billypenn.com/2018/12/27/14-of-the-weirdest-craziest-philly-est-stories-from-2018/

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly

Duncan – Superbowl Sunday – Part 3

We’re a little burned out. We’re not in our thirties anymore. Duncan comes to the gym and works out. He’s eating better. We’re not doing Philly Tacos anymore. (Philly Cheesesteaks rolled in giant slices of pizza from Lorenzos on South Street.) There is no Heavy Metal here. I think Duncan wishes his father was here to share this moment with him. My father is long gone and so is my mother and I’ve already forgiven and buried them.

Duncan speaks of a time when he and his father would watch the Eagles together when he was a kid. They are some of my friend’s finest memories with his father. His dad was a hard man but this was something they shared.

I get it. My father and I shared a love of film.

If the Eagles win the Superbowl Duncan would love nothing more than to go to the parade with his dad. But his father has already declined, but that sucks because that motherfucker should be at that parade with his boy. Just another failure as a parent when you could actually do he right thing by your son.

But I digress…

I’m at the salon until 4. We have no plan. It’s horrible,  Duncan is worried. He expected the King of Philly to have it locked down. No dice. Ticketed events and no idea where to go for a sporting event.

Duncan shows up at the salon an hour before closing and I ply him with soft pretzels and Tastycakes. (I knew it would work because he’s a Philly guy and I’ll figure it out)

It bought me some time before I closed the salon and I have no idea where we’re going to watch the Super Bowl.

I tell him I brought a flask and he can fill it with whatever he wants.

Duncan heads down the street and buys a fifth of Plantation Rum. It’s $50 a bottle so I’m down with drinking that.

He actually figures out a way to get the booze into the flask without spilling it by using the card that the Tastycakes rest on as a cylinder to pour the booze. Pure genius. A McGyver moment on this Super Bowl Sunday.

We’re set. Like we’ve been set in the past but tonight it’s raining and we have no idea where we should go. For the first time we’re at the hands of fate. I feel bad I haven’t set up a cool spot for my friend who has traveled 1500 miles and paid for a hotel and paid for food and drinks and now I can’t deliver on the only thing my friend wants.

But then we come up with an idea…

We head to the Ritz Carlton. Maybe the bar won’t be packed. Hopefully the people who are there won’t be a bunch of animals like everywhere else in this fair city.

Normally on a day like this you should already have your spot to watch the game staked out. But I closed the salon at 4 and now we’re trudging through the rain towards Broad Street.

We get to the Ritz and have no problem getting in. There are a few clusters of tables throughout but most are Reserved.

See the source image

Yea… this bar is amazing.

We get to the bar and there are no seats available. We drop our wet coats and umbrella. We decide the best course of action is to order beers. The bartenders are really busy so when we finally snag one, we order four beers. He’s happy to oblige and Duncan starts a tab.

We know we need to eat so we grab a menu and decide what we want. That’s when the bartender comes back and tells us there is one seat at the back left corner of the bar. We jump on that. It’s a perfect seat. I tell Duncan to take it. He says we’ll take turns. I don’t care. I’m accustomed to being on my feet for long periods of time at the salon. The seat is directly in front of a big flat screen TV.

We’ve done it. This is the most important moment of the entire weekend. Duncan has a front row seat to watch the Superbowl, a drink in his hand, and food on the way.

For me? Mission Accomplished.

To be honest I don’t care about sports. I never have. Do I enjoy watching the important games? Absolutely. But I’m just not a die-hard fan like most men.

My goal is for Duncan to be happy. He came all the way up here for his 50th birthday and to watch the Eagles play in the Superbowl and hopefully win. I’m happy to see him and we’ve had a great weekend together.

The game begins and it’s a tense match. The Patriots have won five Superbowls. The Eagles have never won. There is a stressful exchange of power during this game. When our team gets a goal, the place erupts in cheers. But when it goes the other way, a nervous hush falls over the crowd here at the Ritz.

Like I said, I’m not a sports fan. But that game was probably the greatest sporting event I have ever seen. It was a nail biter to the final minutes.

Finally….

The Philadelphia Eagles Win the Superbowl!!!

 

The place goes crazy. Duncan jumps on me and hugs me like it’s his last time. I’m high fiving and hugging people I don’t even know who have come out of the kitchen to watch. It was one of Philadelphia’s most glorious moments in history. We witnessed it at a lovely bar near a big TV. We really lucked out. Every place was packed or sold out. Duncan had a ringside seat and we were together for this moment.

That’s all that matters to me.

I turn around and the whole place is emptying out. Duncan says he’s going to watch the award ceremony. I tell him I’m going out front for a celebratory smoke.

When I was out here smoking earlier it was pouring raining. There was only two people out on the street.

Now I can’t even see Broad Street.

It is a sea of people.

Thousands and thousands of people have poured out of every bar, tavern or tap-room, and are now marching in the streets of Philadelphia. Cheering, waving flags, chanting, and carrying swag. There are idiots climbing the light poles, but that always happens when we have a major win. There’s a guy trying to rip the Broad Street sign from the pole. There are people dancing on the top of the newsstands. Groups of drunken revelers sitting on top of the bus stop shelter.

But, it’s surprisingly peaceful. There’s just so many people. If something erupted, I don’t think the cops could do anything. People are high fiving and hugging. It’s just such a happy joyous moment in our city’s sports history.

Duncan joins me and he’s loving it. Neither of us have ever seen anything like this in our lives. In 2008 when the Phillies won the World’s Series, the same thing happened, but this seems bigger. We’ve NEVER won the Super bowl. This is huge!

People were going crazy all over the city. I saw people riding on the top of cars like it was nothing. They’re firing fireworks off right over the crowd. It’s insane. Duncan and I hung out on the front of the Ritz for what seemed like two hours. Just watching the spectacle of this celebration from our safe perch. I’d occasionally whip out the flask of Plantation Rum and pass it to him. It was cold out there that night but the rum warmed our bellies.

We were going to leave through the side exit instead of diving right into this madness. But we were told by security that a bunch of people climbed onto the canopy over the door and it collapsed. All I saw was a twisted pile of rubble blocking the exit.

We eventually made it back to Duncan’s hotel. We both flopped in a couple of comfy chairs in the lobby trying to process what just happened. The Eagles beating the New England Patriots and winning their first Super Bowl. The frenzy in the streets that would probably last all night. It was probably one of the best times Duncan and I ever had together.

I’m glad I got to share it with my very best friend.

Here’s a glimpse of what we witnessed.

 

In a sad footnote to this blog that was obviously written a year ago, my dear friend Duncan just lost his mother. At 72 she suddenly had a stroke, and after a fierce battle succumbed to death a week later. We are all reeling from this terrible news and are trying to grasp what has happened to suddenly take her from us. She was a wonderful human being and we will all feel the void of her going. We can only move on now and know that we may all meet again when we are all equal.

I love you Duncan, and cherish  our friendship that sometimes I don’t even feel like I deserve. I hope you and your family can get through this together and know that life is beautiful, fleeting and fragile. 

You knew her for half a century and that is a long time to love in this short time we have on Earth with each other.

I’ve lost both of my parents in a two year span. It is devastating to a family to lose even one of the people that brought us all here.

But we’ll find a way to get through it and move it forward.

Just like we always do.

 

Charles

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                             Facebook: phicklephilly

Duncan – Saturday – Part 2

“There is a peacefulness in middle age. I love that we’ve both finally arrived there together.”

Duncan is chill and he’s just happy to be in Philly. He swings by the salon and has resigned himself to the fact that I need to work a million hours at the salon to get our business going.

He knows that It’s down to me and Achilles to keep the business going. Instead of crying that we can’t spend the day stalking comic book stores and strip joints he comes to the gym and works out.

I love this.

My schedule is stuck and I have to do what I have to do for the business. It’s just the world I live in now and we all get it. (It won’t always be like this.)

In the old days Duncan would come up and we would spend a whole week living in the same house. I would drink, he’d smoke pot, we’d watch movies and listen to music.  We’d watch some crazy videos on TV and barbecue, but those days are long gone.

We’re so much older now. Duncan doesn’t crash on my couch anymore. My daughter Lorelei lives with me. Duncan stays at 5 star hotels now. He’s successful. We’re middle-aged. No more crazy times. We still enjoy laughing our asses off at our own jokes and finding things to get into in the city.

But it’s different now. There’s no AC/DC concert today. (Those guys are too old and banged up to play anymore!) Just us. I have to run my business. He’s on the phone with his team at Well Fargo.

But they can’t take our core from us. When he finishes working out in my gym on Walnut Street, we’re going to go drink at City Tap House and get the hookup from my man Zach.

As we get older I see that Duncan has become so much more patient and less impetuous from our younger years. He’s putting up with the fact that I have a different lifestyle now. A salon and fitness center needs attention beyond the 9 to 5 we were so accustomed to.

We do get some special guests that show up unexpectedly

There was this delicious slender Kuwaiti girl who started tanning here last season that suddenly shows up with her friends late in the day. We know these babies come from rich families because there is no other way they could be here in Philly right now.

“Hey do you remember me?”

Shahed?

“Well done! Is it Charles?”

“Well done!”

I have brought my friends with me!”

(They’re all smoking hot)

Related image

I’m stupid happy to see Shahed again and her hot friend Baba and send them both to tan. There is another girl there named Malak that blows them both aways and is Kardashian Hot. Raven hair, milky skin, lips, tits, and body all amazing.

Duncan is a good-looking and fit man but clueless when it comes to the fairer sex, so I lead in with just some general questions.

I don’t want the non tanner to feel threatened or isolated from her friends.

We have a great conversation. I light it like always. She’s a finance major and Duncan is  CFA god, so she’s fascinated. If these guys could just turn their work gifts into picking up girls gifts they’d be fine but they can’t join the two, Sales and power is the same thing. They just don’t connect and can’t see that sales and dating are the same things.

I help him and I can see he;s actually doing well with this Persian cutie.

I love Duncan. My goal has always been same since the 90’s is. If he’s going to make the trip here, give him everything you can. I’ve always trued to do that every time.

I’ll never forget the moment when the girls were done tanning and they all just perched around Duncan like pretty birds and chatted with us. We discussed different restaurants.

They spoke of a really good restaurant in University City that served food that was similar from where they came from.

I joked that we had no idea where it was so they should take us there. surprisingly they seemed cool with that. (Only I could close that)

They are all gorgeous middle eastern babies and I loved the time we spent with them but in the salon. But like my own life, everything is fleeting.

We may never see them again. But surprisingly the Kardashian did inquire about personal training. So that could be a miracle in 2019.

All of these girls are super smart and will take all of their gifts back to Kuwait, But I do have a plan to take one of these girls out to gelato at Gran Caffee L’ Aliquila.

I know. I want to do it. I really want Shahad, but I’d settle on the tall one who keeps looking at me.

I don’t care.

I’ll figure it out like I always do.

The birds giggle away and bound down the steps. I plot my next move. I don’t share this with Duncan, but I’ll eventually tell him how I deflowered at least one of these sweet girls.

I wrap it up at the salon, and Duncan has stretched himself and worked his body out hard enough that he’s ready to be in the next Mission Impossible movie. I think Duncan has really enjoyed the presence of these fresh Kuwaiti babes.

Smart and beautiful. I know Duncan and I find them both intoxicating. But the presence of these girls is what it is and we must let go.

We lock the salon and make our way to City Tap House. My man Zack is behind the stick and I know my Manhattans are FREE.

We hit this big sports bar and Duncan follows my lead. We luck out and land a pair of seats at this enormous sports bar. Tons of tables and a bar that goes on forever

I spot Zack and he’s running. We are here on the day before the Superbowl . It’s a celabratory mess. But my boy Zack is running. I don’t even think he see’s me/my friend. Duncan is happy we got some seats.

Suddenly a Manhattan neat lands in front of me with a brandied cherry at her core. I want to take her so bad. Hot bartender Nicole grabs Duncan and they settle on a draft.

I’m so happy to be with my friend. He gets his beer and asks the server for a plate of carrots and celery. I don’t get it. A side of wings would have worked for me. But for the last 20 years, what ever my friend wants. Normally all he wants is my six-gun ribs, but I never make that anymore.

We hang at the bar. Zach is God. (And when I say God… I mean Free Bulliett Rye Manhattans with a brandied berry)

I chat with lovely Devon and she tells us that most events are ticketed so we’re fucked for the Superbowl. (But we’ll figure it out)

Our bar bill is zero.

We’re happy. But Duncan needs comfort food so we go to Marathon at 16th and Sansom.

He destroys a salad and helps me with an order of mac n cheese that is a $10 dish. Clearly my boy doesn’t eat enough.

My boy Brandon (Beverage Manager for all three locations) stops by the table and says hello. So that one Manhattan’s is free. I get my favorite barbeque chicken sandwich and we’re good. I tell them my Marathon Reward Card doesn’t work and they give me another one. (That one failed too, but we’ll figure it out) I don’t give a shit as long as my friend is happy… I’m happy.

My friend Francesca stops by the table. (See: Francesca – 2014 to Present – Monday Feels Like Friday) She and some other of her co-workers got laid off at her job, so I hooked her up with a job here at Marathon. She used to waitress down the shore in college so she’s already a seasoned pro here. I tell her we’re going back to the Hotel Palomar to hang at Square 1682 after dinner. She says if she gets cut early she’ll swing by for a drink.

Duncan and I have evolved in our friendship. We used to get plowed and hit South street. Now we go to better eateries and bars and sip fine liquor and eat better food. Just a couple of middle-aged men that don’t like a too much noise or drama.

From Tattooed Moms to the Ritz Carlton. Duncan points this out to me. I like it.

There is a peacefulness in middle age. I love that we’ve both finally arrived there together.

I don’t see Duncan for long periods of time but I fucking love this guy. I hope I know him until I die. He’s one of the best people I know.  Just a good man who I’m glad has chosen to keep me in his life.

Dinner is great and our waitress is a doll. We close with one more at Square 1682 at his hotel.

Tomorrow is the Superbowl and we have no plan. We have no tickets to anything, and I’m working until 4pm so we’re basically fucked.

I need to come up with a plan for me and my friend tomorrow. He’s come up here for his 50th birthday and the Eagles are in the Superbowl.

They’ve never won.

They’re playing against the 5 times winning New England Patriots. Apparently Tom Brady is the most hated man in sports since Derek Jeter.

I need to come up with something. I don’t want my friend to be disappointed tomorrow. Every bar in the city will be packed and insane. I don’t finish at the salon until 4pm.  Anybody that wants to watch the Super bowl should already have staked out there space at the bar somewhere.

Duncan has put up with me working through his birthday/Superbowl weekend already. I just feel like I’m failing him as a host and a friend. But I have to do what needs to be done and we’ll make it work just like we always do. But I still feel bad that I don’t have a plan for the Superbowl.

But there is something between us where when we’re pressed against a wall, we always prevail.

Tomorrow is Superbowl Sunday and we will make it work.

We always do and it’s glorious.

We’ve done it before and we’ll do it again. Just like we always do.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                             Facebook: phicklephilly

5 Things EVERY GUY Wishes His Girlfriend Knew

5. WE HAVE A VERY SHORT ATTENTION SPAN

5 Things EVERY GUY Wishes His Girlfriend Knew

Girls can sit there and talk for hours, about everything and nothing; they can be on the phone for a very long time talking about the most random things, men are not like that at all. Ladies, if you have a 30 minute story about how Jessica from Accounting annoyed you today at work, I can assure you that he will listen to the first 5 minutes (if you’re lucky) and space out for the rest of the story. Just because he starts day dreaming doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or your story is boring (or maybe it is) just means that there are certain things that men don’t necessarily care for…like Jessica from Accounting. One of the main reasons we all have girlfriends is for these stories!

4. WE LOVE IT WHEN A GIRL CAN BE SUPER FANCY BUT CAN ALSO ROCK SWEATPANTS

5 Things EVERY GUY Wishes His Girlfriend Knew

Change it up! Guys love a girl who can be a an elegant princess at a wedding, rock the sweatpants and bun at home, and be a beast at the gym. I’m not saying it’s easy ladies, but if want to see your man drool, give it a try! Want to keep your man on his toes? Change it up ladies, try a different hairstyle, hair colour, new sense of style! Guys love it when you surprise them! If you’ve looked exactly the same for the past 10 years, it’s time to look into making a little change. Remember that it’s not just the clothes and hair but also the confidence that makes you uber sexy!

3. PLEASE DON’T INTERRUPT THE FOOTBALL GAME

5 Things EVERY GUY Wishes His Girlfriend Knew

Whether it’s football, hockey, basketball or baseball, especially if his favourite team is playing, just let him be. For some men, sports time is sacred time, it’s therapeutic, and just wants to be alone or with the guys watching it. Piece of advice, if his team loses, he probably won’t be in the best mood, so find out what he prefers and just do it. When their team loses, some men love to be left alone to brood and others wants to be cheered up. If you want to be a good girlfriend or wife, find out what he prefers!

2. IF WE’RE ONLINE, WE CAN’T PAUSE

5 Things EVERY GUY Wishes His Girlfriend Knew

If your partner is a gamer, you should know the “playing online” rule which is, we can’t pause, we won’t get up unless it’s an absolute emergency, and please DO NOT just pass in front of the TV. If your partner is a video game junkie and you don’t know that you are definitely in trouble. Like you love your makeup, shoes, purses, or/and earrings) they love their video games and whether you understand it or not, you just have to accept it, I would also suggest embracing it! When your partner is playing his game (especially if he’s online), just leave him alone, pretend he’s not there.

  1. DON’T CALL AND COMPLAIN ABOUT THINGS WE CAN’T REALLY HELP YOU WITH
5 Things EVERY GUY Wishes His Girlfriend Knew

It’s one thing if you’re having a bad day and need to talk, but pick the right time! For example, if your man is at work and you know he has a big meeting, and you’re having a bad day, don’t call him and complain and then get upset that he doesn’t have time for you. A man loves an independent woman, not one who calls him every hour to complain about how she’s having a bad day at work, or how someone cut her in traffic, or that she can’t find a parking spot, or that you’re PMSing.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly Facebook: phicklephilly

Tales of Rock – Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee And Nikki Sixx Had The Grossest Bet Ever

Once you’re a famous rock star, all the fun goes out of making a conquest. Instead of having to go to a bar and desperately try to pick someone up, or swipe right on every photo on Tinder in the hopes one single person will like you back, you basically can’t go anywhere without beating groupies off with a stick (pun not intended). Even if you’re the bassist. That’s why you have to throw some roadblocks in your way to make it a little more interesting.

That’s where Motley Crue’s drummer and aforementioned bassist come in. Apparently sick of having foursomes every night, they made a bet with each other over who could go longest without bathing, showering, or washing in any way, and still find a groupie willing to have sex with them and/or not vomit all over them. Spoiler alert: This has gone down in history as “The Spaghetti Incident” so if you are squeamish, tap out now.

So Tommy and Nikki did their thing up on stage every night, getting sweaty and gross in their trouser areas, then would proceed to have sex with up to four women a night, getting even grosser and sweatier down there, and did nothing about it. After even two days of that, most of us would be so disgusted with ourselves that we would give up on the bet, but the members of the Crue managed to go two months.

Two months.

Then finally one night it all came to a head, literally. (Seriously, one last warning. Go look at puppies or something.) Nikki brought a woman to his room to get down, and she started giving him a blowjob. Next thing he knew, she was vomiting all over his junk. Since she had eaten pasta earlier in the night, this became known as “The Spaghetti Incident.” Said pasta apparently “became tangled in his pubic hair.” Instead of freaking out and running for the nearest water, Nikki called for Tommy to come check out what had happened, and admitted he lost the bet. And you will never be able to eat pasta again.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly               Facebook: phicklephilly    Twitter: @phicklephilly

 

Sun Stories: Ben – Gym Guy

“Let me put it this way to you Achilles…Our worst prison nightmare is a decent payday for Ben.”

Ben came to us as a guy who tanned at our salon. He was always talking to Achilles about all his business deals and things. I never trusted this guy, but Achilles always gives people a couple of chances.

We were building the fitness part of our business out on Walnut street to compliment the tanning salon. I think Ben saw an opportunity to insert himself into this opportunity and came on strong.

I never got a good vibe from him but Achilles gave him a chance. At first we thought we’d bring him as a trainer because he was a fitness guy. We gave him a trial and he actually did pretty good with some of the people who came in.

But there was always something about him that gave me a bad vibe. He’s been married a couple of times. The kids live here in Philly and he lives in DC. I asked Achilles what the guy did for a living and he said he was a party planner. Apparently he worked as a personal trainer at a gym, but also worked as a driver for escorts for bachelor parties. He also told us he worked as a stripper in his past life. This guy is 48 now and dyes his hair blonde. We know he’s on steroids because he has bitch tits and is always sniffing. I’m thinking that’s coke.

I’ve lived in LA and been in the music industry. I can spot a druggie a mile away. This guy’s a loser. I don’t want him to poison what Achilles and I are working on with this gym. But I can see him trying to. He’s trying to spend more time here and work at the salon.

I tell Achilles that when I’m here Ben can under not circumstances touch anything in the salon. I run this place. This causes me stress of this weird invader, but Achilles knowing that I’m his golden goose puts the kibosh on Ben.

We’re mired in a lawsuit with the fitness center upstairs and can’t even open our little place. We’ll settle that nonsense eventually and figure it out. I’m sure we’ll just do personal strength training and it will all fall away.

But I can’t shake my suspicion about Ben. I google the shit out of this parasite. I see he has worked as a male stripper. I watch the videos. It’s gross. I’ve met his 11-year-old daughter. She’s a lovely child. I’m sure she has no idea what her dad has done.

I’m a dad, I get it. We have kids, and we’ve all done things we’re not proud of. There are things I’ve done my daughter can never know. That’s just being and adult and being responsible. They never need to know certain things. We’ve all done things we’re not especially proud of, and we let them die in silence.

But everything is online now and kids could find things. I’m just glad that all of my evil never made it to the internet. Lorelei never needs to see that, and even if she did she wouldn’t be interested and wouldn’t even look because it would be gross. But thankfully there is nothing out there on me.

I never liked Ben and always got a weird vibe from him. I didn’t want Achilles to get sucked in by another asshole because I love the salon and like every company I worked for always protect the integrity of that company. It’s what professionals do. Achilles has never had an employee like me but I bring great power and a flurry of 5 star Yelp reviews.

When I was at the salon at night I kept googling him. I needed to dig. I found some things. He was arrested 10 years ago for not paying his child support. No problem. I feel you dude. That shit is expensive and ruins your life.You missed some payments and your ex is a fucking relentless monster. I get it. I was married to that kind of fucking asshole. A relentless harpy that just wants what’s coming to her. A lonely empty cunt that will never be happy. So that’s a pass from me brother.

But I keep digging because you are trying to infiltrate what I’m doing with my partner Achilles.

Achilles tells me you want to invest in the business and cut me out. Achilles immediately tells me about this conversation and it’s not happening buddy.

I continue digging.

I keep googling you and then I come across a name that isn’t you in my search. I plugged in your name, Ben, but there is a new name that comes up.

I click on the link and learn a whole new thing about you sneaky male stripper, Ben.

I find a different name and you’re a porn actor. Payday. Not only are you are a porn actor you only do gay porn. All you ever talk about is banging girls to Achilles and me.

I watched your video’s Ben. I’m able look into the darkness and see the light. I found what I was looking for about you. I don’t care if you’re gay or straight but I watched videos of you doing everything sexual with men. Only Men. No girls. That changes one’s perception. Does gay for pay pay more than straight porn?

I called Achilles and this was our conversation:

“Dude, I’ve been googling Ben and found something.”

“What?”

“Please do not look upon this because I care about you and you’re a good man and I consider you a friend,and I don’t want to hurt you”

“What is it?”

“Ben does hard-core gay porn all the time.”

“What the fuck?”

I’m not going to mention any names but just know this dude does gay porn and only gay porn. No chicks!”

“Fuck!”

“I really looked to see if there were any girls and there are none.”

“Shit”

“Let me put it this way to you Achilles. Our worst prison nightmare is a decent payday for Ben.”

Achilles lost his shit and laughed his ass off.

We don’t really work with Ben anymore.

As a side note, I lent Ben $20 and we haven’t seen him since. So that’s a blessing. It only cost me $20 to rid our salon of him.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am 12pm EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                            Facebook: phicklephilly