Understanding Body Language When Dating Women

You may think that this only accounts for a tiny fraction of communication and tiny compared to words, but you would be very wrong. Body language actually accounts for a staggering 55% of all communication while your actual ‘words’ account for only a staggering 7%!

If you were to see a beautiful woman sitting alone in a bar stroking the stem of her wine glass whilst her body was pointing towards you as she was looking over, would you know what this means? Would you go over and speak with her? Should you?

Reading Body Language is difficult at the beginning, but like all things, it gets easier with knowledge, practice and experience.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when attempting to read body language is that they just look for 1 sign and act on it; but this is incorrect. You need to look for groups of signals (clusters) that all compliment and reflect each other. Just because your date is sat opposite you with her arms crossed, it does not mean that she is bored, closed, disagrees with what you are saying or does not like you! She could just be cold!

OK, now to cover the main things that you need to both look for and change about yourself to make you more appealing to women

l. Eye Contact

Good eye contact is one of the most powerful weapons you have in your arsenal.

You can literally stir powerful sexual tension or emotions in a woman just with eye contact. I know this sounds hard to believe, but non-verbal communication is one of the most powerful forms of communication. When you see a woman that you like, simply look at her with strong eye contact and body language, make it clear that you are looking at her and make sure that she knows it. From doing this, you know whether a woman is interested in at least having a brief conversation with you or not by her body language and reaction. From here, you can move further in the interaction by going over to say hello to her.

There is also a form of non-verbal communication called ‘triangular gazing’ which is when looking at a woman, you glance at her left eye, followed by her right eye, followed by her mouth (or vice versa, R,L,M.) This is a very sexual message that you are giving off and indicates both confidence and sexuality, she can’t help but feel the sexual tension, it comes from that instinctual part of our brain.

2. Body position

In order to not come across as too dominating to a woman, it is important not to approach her with completely straight/square on body language; animals do this when they are about to attack.

Also, If she is constantly turning her body to an angle, she is in effect, turning her interest away from you, take the hint and adapt and overcome. I always prefer to almost walk past a woman before talking to her, she will read from your body language that you are about to continue walking at any second and so will respond to you in a positive way.

3. Arms and legs

The arms and legs are a very powerful reading tool when it comes to body language. Have you ever noticed when someone is nervous how they constantly move their arms, hands, legs and feet as if trying to find somewhere suitable or comfortable to put them? This is fidgeting, it only happens when someone feels uncomfortable. Think about it, are you twitching and fidgeting right now whilst reading this? No, of course not, your in a relaxed and comfortable position.

What to do: Keep your arms to the side of your body in a relaxed manner or to the front of your body, hands together at 90 degree angles. When in this position, use your hands to really emphasize important points and also use for gentle, but quick touches on her arm to build rapport; just don’t overdo it.

4. Weight distribution

This is simple: when you are interested in someone, you will lean your body weight onto the front or leading foot. This is fine when talking with friends and family, but disastrous when talking with women who you like. It shows too much interest and neediness.

Instead, try to lean back and put your weight onto your back foot when she is talking. This shifts the power back into your favor and shows both confidence and also value on your behalf. You are in effect showing that you are not trying to pick up on her or putting in too much effort to win her affections.

5. Scratching and Grooming of Hair

This is where evolution comes in; scratching and grooming is a trait passed down to us through our genetic code by our prime ape ancestry, it’s pre programmed/hard-wired into our brains from birth.

The most common places where a woman will scratch herself is on the face if she finds you attractive. Scratching and grooming is more common in women than men, the tell tale sign is when a woman is constantly playing and touching her hair for no apparent reason when she is in close proximity with you. This is also revealing in women with short hair as they still seem to touch and play with their hair for no apparent reason.

6. Holding drink with both hands

The holding of a drink, jacket or any other object in front of the body or groin area is a huge tell tale sign of discomfort.

Both men and women tend to spend a good deal of the first date doing this until they properly open up to each other.

The item in front of you is actually a psychological block between you and the woman with whom you are speaking created as a sort of a shield of protection, to protect the infamous ‘male ego.’ The sooner you correct this, the better your interactions with women will go. Next time you are in an uncomfortable situation, particularly with a woman, notice how she will put her bag in between you and her.

7. Stroking of cylindrical objects / sliding in and out of a circular object

This is purely and simply sexual frustration in both men and women. Men: Slide their finger in and out of rings (as an example).

Women: Stroke the stem of their wine glass (as an example).

The points above cover some really basic body language which you should look to correct in yourself both during and after dates.

 

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Why 6th January is the Best Day for Online Dating

http://va.topbuzz.com/s/RdhNQcp

 

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Sun Stories: Aishah – The Wages of Fear – Chapter 5

“You’re amazing! I’m going to give you a five-star Yelp review!”

“That would be fantastic. But you don’t have to go into too much detail about the level of service you got today, dear.”

STOP! This post is too hot for phicklephilly and is not safe for work! (NSFW) If you want to read it, please click on the link below.

Thank you!

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=438

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To strengthen your marriage stop watching porn

MAN WATCHING IPAD

This is the first study to examine the correlations between pornography and marital stability.

The first of its kind, a study presented to the American Sociological Association has found that married men who began viewing pornography were twice as likely to get divorced compared to those who didn’t — married women were three times as likely.

Other studies have explored the negative and addictive effects of pornography consumption, but this one is the first to explore the specific link between pornography and marital security. The researchers employed the General Social Survey to analyze pornography consumption, marital satisfaction, and marital status.

On the optimistic flip side of these statistics, women who quit watching pornography were only a third as likely to get divorced as those who did not quit. Though no similar correlation was found in regards to men, the researchers warned that the number of men who quit pornography was so small that the results were unlikely to be accurate.

Previous studies have discovered the circular effect between relationship quality and pornography consumption: viewing pornography leads to poorer relationships which prompts consumption of increasingly explicit material.

There is still more to learn, but one thing has been made clear by these studies: if you’re looking for a way to strengthen your marriage, quitting porn is a good place to start.

 

Thanks. I hope this was helpful. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this piece.

 

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9 Signs That Show You’re Dealing With a Psychopath

9 Signs That Show You’re Dealing With a Psychopath

According to the data that psychologists provide, 1% to 4% of the entire population of Earth are psychopaths. And psychopathic tendencies in a person can be hidden and it can be hard to discover them.

Psychopathy is a syndrome which is demonstrated by heartlessness toward other people, the inability to sympathize, to feel sincere remorse for hurting other people, lying, egocentricity, and unrealistic emotional reactions.

1. They don’t have any emotions.

9 Signs That Show You’re Dealing With a Psychopath

According to the doctor of psychology Scott Bonn, psychopaths are unable to detect sadness in people’s faces but they can imitate an emotional response. So, when they realize that someone is sad, they can say something good, tap them on the back, or hug. But none of these actions will be seen on a psychopath’s face.

Many studies show that psychopaths have no idea what people feel when they are scared. This is what one woman murderer said when she was studied by doctors, “I don’t know what this facial expression means, but I know that this is a face that people have when I look at them.”

To discover a psychopath, all you have to do is look at their reaction to other people’s problems. Do you have negative emotions when other people feel bad?

2. They sleep very little.

9 Signs That Show You’re Dealing With a Psychopath

Some studies show that most psychopaths sleep less than regular people. Usually, they sleep from 4 to 6 hours a night. This is because psychopaths are constantly excited, so it’s hard for them to calm down and sleep well.

The difference from usual people is that psychopaths don’t feel like they are emotionally exhausted when they don’t sleep enough.

3. They love making other people feel guilty.

9 Signs That Show You’re Dealing With a Psychopath

Psychopaths never admit their fault. They twist other people’s words and present the situation so that other people are guilty.

For example, they can say that you are too jealous even if they obviously flirted with your partner. Or they can encourage you to break the rules and then they will judge you for doing so.

They provoke you to have some reaction to show your worst sides to other people. Why? Just because they enjoy it.

4. They are charismatic and love the spotlight.

9 Signs That Show You’re Dealing With a Psychopath

Psychopaths are extremely charming and they love to be in the spotlight. Like actors, they wear a mask which makes them look friendly, so they can make anyone trust them. When they meet new people, they make them believe that they have a lot in common with each other, they tell them compliments, and show interest in their personal lives.

But actually, psychopaths want you to like them just to make it easier to manipulate you in the future.

5. They can be very narcissistic.

9 Signs That Show You’re Dealing With a Psychopath

Psychopaths always step on people’s toes and walk all over people. In any situation, they will do what is good for them. The can show off with their achievements and remember other people’s failures. This lets them look better than they really are and attract more attention.

6. They lie all the time.

9 Signs That Show You’re Dealing With a Psychopath

Psychopaths lie to manipulate other people and get what they need. They always have an excuse in every situation. They often blame other people and never themselves.

It is also known that psychopaths are proud when they lie successfully and they are not worried if someone realizes that it was a lie. It’s because they can come up with with a new lie explaining the situation before you ask questions.

7. They are irresponsible.

9 Signs That Show You’re Dealing With a Psychopath

Psychopaths never notice anything bad about their behavior. They always deny the responsibility for their actions and their consequences.

They can quickly find a person they can blame or they can say that this was the only possible solution in that situation and there was nothing they could do.

8. They constantly break rules.

9 Signs That Show You’re Dealing With a Psychopath

This is one of the most common traits of psychopathy. Psychopaths are very narcissistic and they don’t obey the laws because they think that they are better than any law. Psychopaths break rules and they encourage their victims to do the same to get the responsibility off their shoulders.

 

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Why Romantic Love Can’t Last Forever and How to Save Your Relationship When It’s Gone

cientists are adamant: our feelings and the logic of love development are tightly connected with biochemical processes in our bodies. Even if we wanted this amazing passionate feeling to last forever, our body wouldn’t be able to cope with it.

Beautiful Girl found out why the feeling of falling in love always fades away and how we can save our relationship when the hormonal cocktail stops working.

4. We experience euphoria when we fall in love.

Why Romantic Love Can’t Last Forever and How to Save Your Relationship When It’s Gone

Scientists think that the euphoria that is triggered by passion, has a lot in common with the feeling that addicts experience after taking another dose of their chosen drug. This is a conclusion made by neuroscientists Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki from University College London.

This effect appears because the brain and adrenal glands produce the hormone noradrenaline. This same hormone is produced after cocaine or heroin intake. A person that is in love feels the need to meet their partner more and more because they want to experience that high.

3. When we fall in love, there is a hormonal cocktail in our body.

Why Romantic Love Can’t Last Forever and How to Save Your Relationship When It’s Gone

When we fall in love, several chemical processes in our brain occur that make us disregard our partner’s drawbacks. We also feel that our life is great only with our beloved and we depend on them emotionally. Hormones play a really important role here.

Oxytocin is responsible for emotional attachment and contributes to the deep emotional connection between partners. If the hypothalamus produces enough oxytocin, your stress levels decrease and the desire becomes even more intense.

Vasopressin is responsible for fidelity, a desire to take care of each other, and like oxytocin, emotional attachment.

Dopamine is the hormone of pleasure. Its production contributes to delightful and pleasant feelings. This hormone makes us feel high and it’s produced in great quantities when we eat or make love.

Serotonin is responsible for our ability to experience pleasure, it cheers us up, and improves the quality of our sexual life.

Cortisol is called the stress hormone and, according to several researchers, its levels are really high at the beginning of each relationship.

Our dependence on the chemistry of love grows stronger because of pheromones. Pheromones are produced by our body’s sweat glands (both men’s and women’s) and affect the receptors of the olfactory system.

This hormonal cocktail causes several physiological reactions like excessive sweating, rapid heartbeat, pupil dilation, sleep disorders, and loss of appetite.

2. Why can’t the feeling of falling in love last forever?

Why Romantic Love Can’t Last Forever and How to Save Your Relationship When It’s Gone

Biological rules are strict: our amorousness is just a fleeting chemical process that lasts for a maximum of 3 years.

During evolution, human beings needed it to survive. It would have been hard for our ancestors to take care of children, find food, and protect themselves if they were all alone. The feeling of falling in love helped couples stay together for the sake of their child’s survival. And as the child grew up, this feeling faded away.

In less than 3 years, nerve endings become almost insensitive to the production of these hormones. Also, the hormones themselves are produced in a much lower concentration. The brain function becomes stable, it starts working regularly, and hormones stop stimulating the couple’s emotional attachment.

1. Are all of our relationships doomed?

Why Romantic Love Can’t Last Forever and How to Save Your Relationship When It’s Gone

The period of falling in love is stressful for our body. A quiet rhythm is actually more effective for us. True love probably begins when the hormonal cocktail stops working.

Scientists have found that the attachment feeling that makes us live with our partner for a long period of time is related to oxytocin and vasopressin. The level of oxytocin rises when people hug, have sex, kiss, or just chat.

So here’s the conclusion: touches and tenderness are the best way to maintain long-term relationships. And don’t forget to keep up the ability to listen, express your gratitude, come to compromises, overcome conflicts, and move forward together.

Would you like the stupefying feeling of falling in love to last forever?

 

Why Romantic Love Can’t Last Forever and How to Save Your Relationship When It’s Gone

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15 Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

The wish to be liked by the opposite sex is natural, and that’s the reason why girls trying to find the answer to the question “What do men like?” end up improving those parts of their bodies they think will drive any man crazy.

We wondered what answer men themselves would give to this question. Some of their answers surprised us very much.

15. The ability to find a way out of awkward situations

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Men keep repeating that they are attracted by the naturalness both in behavior and in appearance. It turns out that your reaction to unexpected situations is also important. If a girl can admit that she made a mistake instead of trying to justify it or getting angry, it’s a true way of getting the admiration of an interested male.

14. Kindness

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Men always notice kind deeds, especially if they are considering this girl for a long-lasting relationship. Even scientists have proof of this fact. It’s not for nothing that they say good returns; as it turns out, it returns as an increased attention from men.

13. Emotional condition

According to men, one of the most unpleasant female types is girls with a negative outlook on the world. Men notice everything that troubles you in life and worsens your mood every now and then: nasty work, quarrels with parents, sufferings from unfulfilled dreams. They start to associate your image with anguish while they want to have a source of positivity. This is why they easily get charmed by happy women who are able to enjoy life.

You won’t manage to pretend for a long time because your man will notice how suppressed you are inside even if you will be trying your best to seem the happiest person in the world. That’s why you should learn to find simple joys in daily life. First of all, though, it’s you who need it the most.

12. Nails

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Many girls are sure that nobody except for the manicure master is interested in their nails. However, it appears that men appreciate well-groomed hands (though they may not notice the exact nail polish color or the shape of your nails) as that helps them to identify how well the girl takes care of herself.

11. Financial condition

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Women wanted equality of rights and they got it. That’s the reason why not only women look at the financial condition of men but vice versa as well. Yes, this topic is very delicate, but it’s important. Hence, be sure that men ask about your finances not out of curiosity but to draw some conclusions as well. If you earn more money than he does, he might need some time to understand if he is able to face such a situation. If you earn less than him, he might need this time to determine if your interests are not solely financial in nature.

10. Self-esteem

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Men like to compliment women who themselves know they are worth those words and they hate to reassure those women who are used to neglecting their beauty. There is no less an attractive woman for men than the one who always questions her own beauty.

The confidence in being beautiful usually compensates any imaginary or real flaws in appearance. By realizing it, one can easily become the very pretty woman that men dream about.

9. Attitude to other girls

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

If you gave an unkind look to a pretty girl passing by, or, moreover, you let yourself make an unpleasant comment about her, you can be sure that your man noticed it and interpreted it as having a full set of complexes together with an envious and incisive character.

8. Style

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Some men are not that good when it comes to following the latest fashion trends, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t care about the way a girl looks. Your style can be a decisive factor for introducing himself to you because every man has his opinion on how his dream girl should look. Some will not dare to approach a girl with bright hair while others are conversely repelled by clichés. This is why one should never adjust to other people’s tastes — you won’t be able to be equally liked by everyone.

7. Footwear

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Yes, men are extremely attentive to the person they are interested in- from nails to footwear. No, they don’t try to identify the designer of your shoes or to remember the rules of color combinations between shoes and bags; they pay attention to how comfortable you feel in your footwear. When a girl puts on shoes with a huge and unstable heel, it only brings irritation and the wish to finish the date as soon as possible.

6. The number of friends

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

For men, it’s important that their girlfriend has her own life with real friends with whom she has gone through fire and water. They get alarmed by the absence of close friend and having many acquaintances that keep changing every now and then.

5. Anything backless

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Not an inner quality, though, but still worth mentioning. Backless tops and dresses are a great and easy way of showing a little skin while keeping things classy. They are super feminine — it’s a very sexy and womanly way of revealing a part of your body without opening too much.

4. Laughter

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

Without many words here, girls that are not afraid to show their emotions always bewitch men.

3. Sense of humor

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

When describing a perfect girl you will always find such a point as a sense of humor. The research only proves that girls who can make funny jokes and understand them as well seem to be more attractive. Those who don’t possess this set of qualities are not considered to be as lovable.

2. Tiredness

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

It’s a well-known fact that insomnia and the lack of sleep don’t make us attractive and even cosmetics won’t be able to hide the information about our daily regime from a man. In one study, men were shown photos of attractive women, some of whom had 8-9 hours the night before and others who hadn’t slept at all. Those who did not sleep seemed less attractive, sad, and aggressive to men.

1. Aspirations

12+ Things About Women Men Can’t Resist

We live in a world full of events and rhythms. That is probably the reason why a wish to live a full life to turn big, crazy dreams and plans into realities and to aspire to reach new heights while still searching for sources of inspiration is a very important factor for making girls attractive to men. Passivity and laziness in girls turn modern men off. However, women are also not attracted to this kind of men. Do you agree?

Are there any other factors you would add to this list? Please share them in the comments!

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice – 7 Things Nice Guys Do That Girls Mistake for Flirting

things guys do that girls mistake for flirting

Nice guys do lots of things for women out of the goodness of their own hearts. But that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s trying to flirt with you!

Nice guys don’t always finish last. Many times they don’t care if they are first or last, because they are more concerned with others than themselves. That’s because they have manners, and that’s what nice guys do.

I know it might be hard to understand that there really are just some nice, good guys out there. No, they don’t all live in the south. They are everywhere!

Anyway, let me reiterate the fact that if a guy is nice to you, it does not mean he wants to sleep with you. I mean, he might, no doubt, but it’s very important to remember that there really are just some great guys out there in the universe, who were raised properly, and know how to treat people.

7 signs he’s just being a nice guy, and not a flirt

Check out the ways nice guys continue to confuse girls everywhere, by simply being nice and gentlemanly in all that they do.

#1 Nice guys holding doors for you. This might be a shocker, but just because you breathe the same air a guy breathes, does not mean he’s flirting with you. Just because you might be walking into the same entrance as the dude in front of you on your way to work, and find that the dude happens to pause, and motions for you to go ahead of him, all the while holding the door for you, does not mean he is in love with you.

He is however just a human with really awesome human common sense. It’s called manners people, go and get you some. He’s just a dude holding a door for you, and if you were to turn around to see him holding the door for you, you would probably find him still holding it for the other ten people walking up, including other women. Who knew! [Read: How to read mixed signals and turn it into love]

#2 Nice guys smiling at you. We all know the whole bitchy resting face look people have. But did you know that people have the capability to smile, and that smiling is way easier than frowning, and probably even easier than walking around with bitchy resting face? If a guy smiles at you, it does not mean he wants to get with you.

It simply means he’s probably a happy little fella, who has no problem spreading his happiness out into the world and being a really nice person. If a guy smiles at you, stop being so vain and thinking he wants you. [Read: 7 reasons you’re not being approached by guys who like you]

#3 Nice guys buying drinks for you. I know most people probably assume that if a guy buys you a drink, he’s just trying to get you home. Although this might seem hard to understand, it’s true. Some guys literally just have the manners and kind heart to want to buy you a drink, even if you don’t even know him.

Think about the random strangers paying for other strangers in the Starbucks drive-thru that went viral. It’s an act of kindness, and doing acts of kindness not only make you feel good about yourself, but it makes others feel good too. Who wouldn’t want to be in a complete feel-good environment?

So remember, just because a guy might buy you a drink, alcoholic or not, does not mean he is flirting with you or trying to hit on you. It literally just means he’s offering to pay for your drink. Now, if he were to invite you over to his table or offer to keep you company, then that’s when you’ll know if he is indeed flirting with you.

#4 Nice guys complimenting you. Have you ever had one of your girlfriends tell you that your hair looked great, or they liked your shoes? Yes, of course, you have. And unless your friend is a lesbian, then your friend wasn’t giving you the compliment because she wanted to get in your pants. Perhaps she wanted to borrow them, but not get “in” them.

Just like girls, guys are allowed to compliment you without it meaning they are flirting with you. Why wouldn’t you want a guy to tell you he likes your shirt, or hair, or whatever compliments his kind-hearted soul wants to give you.

Take it, enjoy it, bask in it, and maybe even take a selfie secretly, to remember just how great you looked. But, take those kind words, and remember that he’s not necessarily flirting with you, just because he pays you a compliment and notices you. [Read: 15 sure signs he likes you but isn’t into you]

#5 Nice guys letting you cut in lines. If you’ve ever found yourself standing in a long line at the post office or grocery store, and the guy in front of you kindly offers for you to cut in front of him, it’s a great feeling. It’s a feeling that makes you feel like a winner, and it might also tempt you to do a double-take at the guy who just let you cut.

Although these moments may not happen all the time, when they do, it’s important to remember that there are still men with manners out in the universe. Just because he let you sneak in front of him, does not necessarily mean he wants to get in your pants and likes you.

He’s a stranger! He doesn’t even know you. And even if he does want to know you, he’ll start that off with a conversation while you’re in line. If he just lets you cut in without talking to you afterwards, then he was just being really nice.

#6 Nice guys offering seats up for you. When you find yourself on a crowded subway, train, or bus, and a random guy taps you and gestures that you can take his seat and he’ll stand, it’s very cool of that guy. It doesn’t happen all the time, but when a guy offers his seat up for you to sit down, it’s definitely a sign that he was raised properly and has manners.

Just because a guy decides to let you sit down and take his spot, doesn’t mean he wants to do you. He’d probably do the exact same thing for an elderly woman, if she were to have gotten on at the same time.

#7 Nice guys being touchy-feely talking to you. If you know a guy who always touches you when talking to you, it probably annoys you a little bit and also makes you think he’s in love with you, because why else would he always want to touch you? I don’t mean a creep who gropes you and makes you feel uncomfortable, but I mean the guy who maybe sometimes pinches your shoulder, or touches your arm, or always gives you a hug immediately when he sees you as his way to say hello.

[Read: 15 essential relationship tips for single ladies]

Some people are just very touchy-feely when they talk, just like some people always talk with their hands. This doesn’t mean he loves you and is flirting with you.

I know we live in a world where it’s very easy to be jaded and not believe that there are still good guys out there. And sometimes, we can’t help but think that, if a guy is being nice to you, he obviously is only doing so because he wants something from you.

Newsflash: It might mean he’s just one of the beautiful souls walking around our universe, who are there to remind you that when these random acts of kindness happen to you, you should restore your faith in humanity.

Sure, there are users out there, but that’s life. Some people suck and are only nice to you for certain things. But there are also really awesome people in the world with good manners and good intentions, and it’s important to always remember that.

[Read: 13 charming ways to be more approachable]

As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “The time is always right, to do what is right.” Maybe the guy being nice to you just so happens to know that no truer words were ever spoken.

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Dating and Relationship Advice: Why You Should Give Up Online Dating In 2018

Online dating has turned people into numbers and it can suck the fun out of the process of dating if you let it.

Online dating has become everyone’s go-to when it comes to meeting romantic prospects. We program our entire lives via apps—from health and wellness to money management, so it’d make sense that our dating lives are also manipulated by the results generated by apps. For me, I found that a bit too contrived and problematic.

You want to meet them right away because things feel easy and there’s magic behind the comfort of your phone screen. Then once you’re sitting across from each other, you find out that there’s no magic at all.

For one, the bulk of dating apps don’t take into consideration where others are in their lives. When you put together your profile, you’re stating your intentions and your desires. “I’m looking for…” And based on what people aimlessly check off on their profile, you’re matched up. Except most people leave profiles open-ended to cast a wide net. Depending on the app or site you’re using, you’re going to have to do a lot of sifting through before you find any good candidates. In most cases, the best candidates are going to be selected based on criteria that make sense on paper. However, physically or intellectually, the matches wouldn’t be people you’d pick in real life.

Online dating isn’t always that extreme although it operates under a level of immediacy that can feel overwhelming. You want to meet them right away because things feel easy and there’s magic behind the comfort of your phone screen. Then once you’re sitting across from each other, you find out that there’s no magic at all. It’s a letdown. On the other side, you can be pleasantly surprised by someone that didn’t wow you exchanging messages. After a few dates, though, things fizzle out. You’re back to square one without as much as an explanation other than assuming that they’re just busy.

If a healthy relationship is near the top of your list for 2018, I’d suggest looking into your social circles.

The biggest reason why I think people should give up the vicious cycle of dating online is because there are better, more reliable ways to meet people. Depending on apps and social media can get exhausting. For the most part, you’re living in your head so much. There’s very little open communication because we’ve gotten used to moving on to the next thing. There are tons of options at our disposal. The risk of any type of accountability or investment is low. Online dating has turned people into numbers and it can suck the fun out of the process of dating if you let it.

If a healthy relationship is near the top of your list for 2018, I’d suggest looking into your social circles. Look at the places where you spend the bulk of your time. This year, I met a few great women through friends of mine and at church. My friends were invested in trying to fix me up (sometimes a little too invested) and knew enough about me that they picked good women for me. The people you trust likely are on your side and want to see your happy ending as much as you want to have it.

I’d also advise that you sit down and be honest with yourself about what is it that you want. Oftentimes we say we want a serious relationship when what we really want is companionship. Those two aren’t the same things. You can have one and not the other and that’s OK. But it’s important to not conflate them and to find someone who’s on the same page.

Dating is supposed to be enjoyable. Online dating apps have their place. That shouldn’t be your sole source for romantic quests though. If you’ve had more failures with it, I challenge you to get back to the basics of meeting people the way our parents and grandparents did it. Be bold and actually say hello to real, live people once in awhile.

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice: Do Some People Think Women Have Higher Sex Drives Than Men?

Why do so many people think women have higher sex drives than men?

I know SOME women can have higher sex drives than SOME men. There are some women who frequently have an intense desire for sex — and there are men who don’t — but on average men definitely have stronger sex drives than women do. I think even most women would admit that.

The average man just naturally has a higher libido than the average woman. Men have 7 or 8 times higher testosterone levels than women do. That has a huge affect on sex drive.

Yeah, some women want more sex than their male partners, but in general the pattern goes the other way. Pretty much every study and every measure fit the pattern that, overall, men are hornier than women.

“WebMD concurs, noting that study after study shows men with the stronger sex drive”

“According to Marta Meana, psychology professor at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, data overwhelmingly show that, typically, men have a higher sex drive than women”
Why do some people think women have higher sex drives than men?

Studies on female-to-male and male-to-female transsexuals lend these findings additional credence.

A study of 35 female-to-male transsexuals and 15 male-to-female transsexuals also supports the impact of androgens on sex drive. In a longitudinal design that tested patients before and 3 months postoperatively, found a decrease in sexual interest and arousability among the male-to-female transsexuals, who were administered anti-androgens and estrogens. In contrast, the female-to-male transsexuals, who were administered testosterone, reported heightened sexual interest and arousability. 

These data highlight the importance of testosterone in producing meaningful changes in sexual arousal and interest, even over a relatively short time.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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