Phicklephilly – 2019 – 1000 Posts! – We Did It!!!

“If you live a life that is without the elements of who you really are you will never be happy.”

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I’ve just been notified by WordPress that after 2 1/2 years of writing this blog I’ve written a 1000 posts!!!

It’s been an incredible journey to finally be writing again. I started out in this life as an artist. Then a musician, and then a writer.

But life, marriage, a child, and a career removed me from all of that. Other people needed me and the bills had to be paid.

But after 10 years I decided to write again.

I created Phicklephilly in the spring of 2016 and then did nothing.

By the fall I asked myself, is this something you’re going to talk about in bars with your friends and never do? I had discussed the notion of writing a blog about my life with many of my friends. One who is a better and more visceral writer than myself.

But I started to write.

I published a post about a waitress I had been infatuated with for some time on a Monday.

I worried no one would read it or like it. I worried that I wouldn’t be able to come up with content every Monday.

But I did.

Then I started writing updates for a Wednesday release.

Once the wheel started to roll, I did what needed to be done.

I wrote.

Writing is a hard lonely existence.

It’s something that you have to push yourself to do. Especially in the beginning. But like anything you really want you push yourself to do.

You begin a fitness program and you stick with it. The muscles grow and the fat disappears. You keep at it and then it gets easier.

I started to write like mad. Cranking out content until I had something happening  few times a week.

 

Then I found other things I liked and started to write about them. The Tanning salon, Tales of Rock, Crazy dates I’d been on in the past. Celebrities I’d met, and most of all, past relationships.

Some beautiful. Some bittersweet.

I’m not a great writer, but I kept at it. Like a pilot, I put in a certain number of hours until the plane called Phicklephilly soared.

And now here I am with all of you my loyal followers and readers after two and a half  years of writing.

1000 posts and over 50,000 views!

I couldn’t be happier.

 

If you want to do something, don’t talk about it. Like Nike says: Just do it.

Write everyday.

Push yourself. Who cares who reads it. Just create and express yourself.

 

I GUARANTEE  you that if you start writing and keep at it, the rewards will be like pieces of gold falling into your lap.

When you write from the heart and tell the truth about everything in your life, (Not everything. Keep some of yourself for yourself. That belong to you.)  You will find this liberating weight lifted from your shoulders.

Get it all out. The good, the bad and the ugly. Don’t be afraid. It’s just words. But it will lighten the load you’ve been carrying around your whole life.

Once you write it down and publish it… It’s gone but not invisible. But it’s out of you for the first time in your life. It’s now safely on the paper. You can understand what you’ve experienced so much better once you write about it.

You can look back on your work and your life and it’ so much easier to process, forgive and understand.

 

Writing Phicklephilly has been the most singular liberating experience of my adult life.

 

And there is so much more to tell.

I have so much more to say.

Knowing that these stories are now out on the internet forever. Even after I’m dead it is comforting.

Because they are no longer my responsibility. WordPress carries the weight for me now.

But by writing all of these stories guarantees my immortality.

 

I don’t need that, but it’s so much to live a simple, happy, and uncluttered life once you write.

I love most of what I’ve written. Everybody knows I hate writing dating and relationship advice but I found a way to keep it going for my readers who enjoy it.

I think my followers now know that I write Phicklephilly because of my simple love of creating. I’ve always been that way since I was a child. Drawing a picture. Sculpting something out of clay. Writing a song. Writing a book and a screenplay. Creating a comic strip.

I am an entity that apparently must always be creating and am happiest when I’m doing that very thing.

“If you live a life that is without the elements of who you really are you will not be happy.”

I feel happier than I have ever felt in my entire life.

I’ve lived a big exciting life. I’ve done a lot and experienced much. But it really comes down to a few simple components for me and please take heed if you wish.

  1. Your health is essential. You have that. you’re already winning.
  2. Surround yourself with good people. Whether they are friends, family or even some wonderful pet companions.
  3. Have something to do every day that you like to do. If you hate your job, find a better one that suits your life needs. It’s a third of your life, work. Why spend your day being miserable? Do something you don’t hate every day. It’s a short life. Enjoy yourself!
  4. To love and be loved. This is a tough one. Most people need this one. Love yourself and find someone else to love. If they love you back… Awesome!
  5. Have something to look FORWARD to. I don’t care what it is. Just have something. Brunch with a friend, a red envelope arriving from Netflix, a party, a day off, something you want to do that you made time to do. 

 

That’s it.

The rest is just stuff and bullshit.

Focus on the top 5.

 

Thank you one and all for taking the time out of your busy lives to take the time to read my little blog about dating, relationships and a bunch of stuff from my life.

I wish I could throw a big party and invite each and every one of you and we could all hang out and really get to know one another.

I’ve had the joy to become friends with some of the other talented writers on WordPress and it has been an absolute delight.

So many great people on here.

I also really appreciate my friends who have read and have subscribed to Phicklephilly. I love knowing they are here with me on this journey of self discovery and I hope some of this will inspire them to push forward on their lives.

Two and a half years ago there was nothing. I decided to start to write and now this is here.

You can create anything you want. You just have to do it and do it every day.

Look what can happen if you put your mind to something.

I’m still going to try in 2019 to get a couple of books published on Amazon Kindle this year!

 

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!

 

Anything can be done, and you can do it too.

Please reach out to me for anything. I’ll always get back to as fast as I can.

 

My heart is full of love.

 

Life is good and my daughter Lorelei is healthy and happy, so that’s all I need.

 

Thank you one and all. This means the world to me and I hope you continue to enjoy the content I provide in 2019 and beyond!

 

There’s so much more to the story!!!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly

 

Understanding Body Language When Dating Women

You may think that this only accounts for a tiny fraction of communication and tiny compared to words, but you would be very wrong. Body language actually accounts for a staggering 55% of all communication while your actual ‘words’ account for only a staggering 7%!

If you were to see a beautiful woman sitting alone in a bar stroking the stem of her wine glass whilst her body was pointing towards you as she was looking over, would you know what this means? Would you go over and speak with her? Should you?

Reading Body Language is difficult at the beginning, but like all things, it gets easier with knowledge, practice and experience.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when attempting to read body language is that they just look for 1 sign and act on it; but this is incorrect. You need to look for groups of signals (clusters) that all compliment and reflect each other. Just because your date is sat opposite you with her arms crossed, it does not mean that she is bored, closed, disagrees with what you are saying or does not like you! She could just be cold!

OK, now to cover the main things that you need to both look for and change about yourself to make you more appealing to women

l. Eye Contact

Good eye contact is one of the most powerful weapons you have in your arsenal.

You can literally stir powerful sexual tension or emotions in a woman just with eye contact. I know this sounds hard to believe, but non-verbal communication is one of the most powerful forms of communication. When you see a woman that you like, simply look at her with strong eye contact and body language, make it clear that you are looking at her and make sure that she knows it. From doing this, you know whether a woman is interested in at least having a brief conversation with you or not by her body language and reaction. From here, you can move further in the interaction by going over to say hello to her.

There is also a form of non-verbal communication called ‘triangular gazing’ which is when looking at a woman, you glance at her left eye, followed by her right eye, followed by her mouth (or vice versa, R,L,M.) This is a very sexual message that you are giving off and indicates both confidence and sexuality, she can’t help but feel the sexual tension, it comes from that instinctual part of our brain.

2. Body position

In order to not come across as too dominating to a woman, it is important not to approach her with completely straight/square on body language; animals do this when they are about to attack.

Also, If she is constantly turning her body to an angle, she is in effect, turning her interest away from you, take the hint and adapt and overcome. I always prefer to almost walk past a woman before talking to her, she will read from your body language that you are about to continue walking at any second and so will respond to you in a positive way.

3. Arms and legs

The arms and legs are a very powerful reading tool when it comes to body language. Have you ever noticed when someone is nervous how they constantly move their arms, hands, legs and feet as if trying to find somewhere suitable or comfortable to put them? This is fidgeting, it only happens when someone feels uncomfortable. Think about it, are you twitching and fidgeting right now whilst reading this? No, of course not, your in a relaxed and comfortable position.

What to do: Keep your arms to the side of your body in a relaxed manner or to the front of your body, hands together at 90 degree angles. When in this position, use your hands to really emphasize important points and also use for gentle, but quick touches on her arm to build rapport; just don’t overdo it.

4. Weight distribution

This is simple: when you are interested in someone, you will lean your body weight onto the front or leading foot. This is fine when talking with friends and family, but disastrous when talking with women who you like. It shows too much interest and neediness.

Instead, try to lean back and put your weight onto your back foot when she is talking. This shifts the power back into your favor and shows both confidence and also value on your behalf. You are in effect showing that you are not trying to pick up on her or putting in too much effort to win her affections.

5. Scratching and Grooming of Hair

This is where evolution comes in; scratching and grooming is a trait passed down to us through our genetic code by our prime ape ancestry, it’s pre programmed/hard-wired into our brains from birth.

The most common places where a woman will scratch herself is on the face if she finds you attractive. Scratching and grooming is more common in women than men, the tell tale sign is when a woman is constantly playing and touching her hair for no apparent reason when she is in close proximity with you. This is also revealing in women with short hair as they still seem to touch and play with their hair for no apparent reason.

6. Holding drink with both hands

The holding of a drink, jacket or any other object in front of the body or groin area is a huge tell tale sign of discomfort.

Both men and women tend to spend a good deal of the first date doing this until they properly open up to each other.

The item in front of you is actually a psychological block between you and the woman with whom you are speaking created as a sort of a shield of protection, to protect the infamous ‘male ego.’ The sooner you correct this, the better your interactions with women will go. Next time you are in an uncomfortable situation, particularly with a woman, notice how she will put her bag in between you and her.

7. Stroking of cylindrical objects / sliding in and out of a circular object

This is purely and simply sexual frustration in both men and women. Men: Slide their finger in and out of rings (as an example).

Women: Stroke the stem of their wine glass (as an example).

The points above cover some really basic body language which you should look to correct in yourself both during and after dates.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                        Facebook: phicklephilly

Why 6th January is the Best Day for Online Dating

http://va.topbuzz.com/s/RdhNQcp

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly

14 of the Weirdest, Craziest, Philly-est Stories from 2018

Greased poles, profane potholes, farm animals roaming the city. Just another year in Philadelphia.

https://billypenn.com/2018/12/27/14-of-the-weirdest-craziest-philly-est-stories-from-2018/

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly

Phicklephilly Reaches 50,000 Views!

Oh my God!

We did it!

After two and a half years and 942 blog posts I have miraculously reached 50,000 views on phicklephilly!!!

This is the best Christmas gift that I could have imagined this holiday season.

When I started this I never thought it would reach such heights.  I didn’t even know what I was doing. I just wanted to create again after not writing for over 10 years.

I was inspired by a lovely, charming waitress and a guy I worked with who said I should write about all of the ladies in my life.

It started out once a week on Mondays. I wrote about a waitress I was infatuated with at the time. (See: Maria – Amor En Vano)

Maria has become my muse and the ongoing inspiration for this blog.

The best part of that relationship is that we’re friends but rarely hang out. There’s no romantic connection and that’s what keeps it healthy. I could never get involved with her because we live in two different worlds.

When I see Maria, it’s the very best of Maria. I don’t ever experience the other aspects of her life. I’m sure they are extremely challenging for my muse. Life is complicated and confounding to my muse as she navigates the minefield of her life in the service industry and her romantic entanglements.

She has limitless value to me, but I never experience the darker aspects of her life.

It may seem one-sided but that’s how it’s best suited for our current relationship. She lives her life and I live mine. Completely different. I never see her struggles. I only hear about them.

Granted, I’m always available to help her in any way I can and I’m willing to help her in any way I can.

But for the most part when I see her it’s “Greatest Hits.”

 

I’ll be spending Christmas day going through all of my contacts to try to find her a marketing gig at an agency somewhere in the city.

I want to do it. I want my muse to be happy and successful. She’s been through too much. I have very little invested in her. But her presence has been the trigger that ignited this blog so I must honor her.

Maria needs to do nothing.

The train that is phicklephilly is already rolling down the track and has been for the last two years. (27,000 visitors and 50,000 views!)

She’s my inspiration! I have to help her!

The beauty of all of this is for once the muse doesn’t become the girlfriend. That’s where the problems always start.

I’m in a better place than I’ve ever been and my creative work continues to flourish. Whatever was inspired two years ago worked!

 

I remember when I created the first skeleton of phicklephilly I had no clue what I was doing or where I was going. I knew I had to start dating again, (Ugh) and knew I needed content.

I created the blog and that was a huge first step. But actually, that’s the easy part.

You can sign up for any writing site on the internet and they’ll pretty much effortlessly walk you through it.

What it really comes down to after that is up to you.

I created phicklephilly in July of 2016.

I never wrote a word until September.

The whole summer went by with me having a blog and not doing anything about it. Pretty much a bit more of what I’d done for the last 10 years.

Nothing.

I asked myself, “Is this going to be another thing you talk about with people you know at lunch and over drinks and never do?

I paused and thought about Maria. A beautiful, sweet woman from humble beginnings like myself, that was self-made. A woman who told herself that she was determined to get her marketing degree and rise above her current vocation.

Am I going to write and create again, or am I just going to talk about it over beers with a bunch of people and never do it?

That would be easy and dumb.

I know people who are far better than me in regard to the written word.

I discussed what I was going to do. They said I had inspired them to write again too.

Here’s the difference.

They are stuck in their lives and will NEVER take pen to paper ever again.

That’s fine. It has no effect on my life. But I needed to evolve and start creating again. I’ve done art. I’ve done music. Writing should be easy if I just put my mind to it.

Anyone who is reading this who writes knows it’s not easy.

You have to find your space and be alone and bang out a 1000 words about whatever. Fuck writers block. You just have to be alone and create. You do it every day and crank out the art.

Like a ballerina, she takes classes every day. My father once said, if you want to be a painter, go paint every day. Well I like to create and I write everyday.

I was chatting with my sister Gabrielle at the holiday party on Sunday, and I was telling her about what’s coming out in 2019.

“How do you have the time to come up with so much material and stories to have it come out everyday, twice a day?”

“I like to work and be busy, but in my down time instead of sitting around or blowing money doing anything else, I write. When I’m off I edit or create. It’s not hard if you put your mind to it.”

Nothing’s hard if you put your mind to it.

That’s how everything has been accomplished in the world.

Most people just go to work and then do a bunch of other things that don’t evolve them and they wonder why they’re going nowhere or attach themselves to things they think will make them happy but it’s all a fail.

Put something on Earth that wasn’t here before you got here.

Tell your story.

If you’re serious you’ll do it.

If you want my help. I’ll help you.

Everybody needs a mentor.

Me included.

 

Happy Holidays! Thank you one and all for all the views and comments and follows. phicklephilly has grown beyond anything I could have imagined.

 

Thank you, Maria for your inspiration!

 

I’m going to try to write this damn thing until the day I die.

 

I hope you all enjoy all of the new aspects I’ve added in 2019.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly                  Instagram@phicklephilly

Sun Stories: Aishah – The Wages of Fear – Chapter 6

I was waiting for Aishah to appear the next Thursday for some more fear management but she didn’t show. At least not yet. But it was getting late and I thought she may have bailed. She needed to tan for her trip but I would just have to wait and see.

It felt a little weird. I mean the whole thing felt surreal. A model pretty girl comes to the salon to tan for a vacation and is paralyzed by extreme claustrophobia. I could never had seen it coming.

I left the doors open late on thursday in case Aishah wanted to come in. I mopped the floors and folded the towels and hoped she’d come in, but like Kita and Delaney maybe she’d simply ghosted me.

It happens in this business. It’s a luxury product. The girls come and go as they please. Spring break, prom, weddings, formal, or getting ready for the shore. That’s what we do.

I think back on how intimate our last encounter was.

The terrified claustrophobic and the voyeur. It was perfect. Her words about me sitting in the room with her while she tanned. Her lithe body. My lustful gaze. It was all so perfect to me.

I was happy to help, but to gaze upon such a vulnerable beauty was pure sex to me. I would always be the professional but I couldn’t resist the raw lust I felt gazing upon her perfect body naked before me.

It al; seemed wrong but so right in my twisted mind. Aishiah is so beautiful, and it’s almost like she enjoys me looking upon her. I understand the sickness and all, and we treat many clients for excema, seboria ,and psoriasis, but this us a new animal.

This is erotic in it’s treatment.

I can’t help but feel aroused looking upon this gorgeous young angel lying naked before me.

It was an awkward and weird moment but I did what she asked and we were cool. I have literally seen it all at this salon and I’m here to help.

I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what’s going to happen next. Maybe she’ll never return to the salon.

That would be good. Just never come back and then I never need to deal with this again. that would be perfect.

 

Why is Aishah not coming back in?

Should I text her?

No, that’s nuts and I should never do that.

Why is this driving me nuts?

 

Because I love her, (in a phicklephilly way) and she’s pretty, and I adore the vice of this dark transaction.

That’s what’s really going on.

She’ll never be back. Probably too good to be true.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                               Facebook: phicklephilly