I matched this cute kitty kat on the dating site, Ok Cupid. Please excuse any grammatical errors. They are her words not mine. Here is her profile:
30 – Philadelphia 39% match on ok cupid
Straight, Woman, Single, 4’11”
My self summary
I really want to have serious relationship at this time. cuz I don’t have time for playing the game..I’m not interested with multiple dating.. if u want to know to know about me pleaseee make sure u already clear with your past relationship. im sensitive person too. I like the guy who can talk more open & honest event that’s hurt (need to have respect each other)
I don’t like mommy boy I like the guy who is mature & independent (cuz I’m independent too) I have full-time job I work mon – fri 2- 11pm. I have house… I don’t have drivers license.
What I’m doing with my life
Working, relaxing, snacking etc
I’m really good at
Six things I could never do without
On a typical friday night I am
I like stay at home at usually … snacking, watching TV etc. But if my friends asking to hang ut it’s ok too depends on my mood that time,
You should message me if
If u ready to have serious relationship. NO ATHEIST & independent.
So that’s her profile.
She certainly likes her snacks, right? If I bring enough snacks and a bible on the first date, do you think I’ll get lucky?
Here’s how our first conversation on the site went. It’s over several days and there are huge gaps of time between daily texts.
Me: Hello! It’s a match!
Me: How was your weekend? I really like what you said in your profile. (A bold-faced lie. I don’t give a shit. She’s hot. But I know she’ll like that I read it.)
Her: My weekends its ok .. what I said make u interested.
Me: Would you like to meet up?
Her: ok no problem
Me: When can we meet? May I have your number?
Her: Next Sunday?
Her: (Gives me her number)
Me: I could do Sunday after 4pm.
Me: (Gives her my number)
Her: Sunday 23
(That’s two weeks away)
(So normally once the phone numbers are exchanged both parties switch to just texting each other to make a plan to meet and no longer communicate on the dating site. Makes sense, right?)
(So I text her on her phone.)
Me: Hi, I’m looking forward to meeting you on the 23rd.
(For some reason she writes me again on the dating site)
Her: U not sleepy yet
Me: How are you? I texted you
Her: Good thanks… hbu
Me: I’m doing great. But we have each other’s numbers. Shouldn’t we just text?
(Then it switches back to regular phone texting)
Me: Hello I just saw your post on Ok Cupid early this morning. Couldn’t sleep?
Me: Hello. Are we meeting up Sunday after 4?
Her: Who is this?
(How the fuck did that happen in a week?)
Me: It’s (My name) from Ok Cupid
Her: Can u send me pic please
(Now it’s getting weird)
Me: (Send her 2 photos of me)
Her: I’m sorry this sunday I can’t because I think u cancel cuz you not text me again.
(I don’t need to be in constant text/touch with anyone once I’ve made solid plans with them. We’re adults for goodness sake!)
Me: Ok. But you remember me now? How about this coming week?
Her: Oh yes u said u live in ritten house right
(Again. Sorry about her bad grammar)
Me: Yes. Are you still interested?
Her: ok next sunday morning 12 its ok?
Me: I work on Sundays till 4. I can do lunch during the week or Saturday anytime or Sunday after 4, or Monday night or Wednesday night.
Her: Monday morning?
Me: Ok. Can we meet in center city?
Me: Lovely. What time?
Me: Ok. so lunch! Do you have any dietary limitations?
Me: Any favorite foods?
Her: (Smiley face) We can go to simple coffee shop.
(I has hoping she’d say she wanted to go to a Snack Bar!!!!!)
Me: Ok, so what time tomorrow and do you have a coffee shop you prefer?
Her: Oh yes. 12
Me: Is there a coffee shop you prefer?
Her: I prefer around center city.
Me: Meet me at The Last Drop Coffee Shop at 13th and Pine at 12 noon tomorrow.
Me: Looking forward to meeting you
Her: (My Name) I’m sorry I can’t see u today I feel not good I got diarrhea.
(Who plays that card before a first date? Do you think it’s from eating all the damn snacks?)
Me: Oh dear! I’m so sorry. I hope you feel better.
Her: Thank u… don’t know why I eat alot of fruit & yogurt last night … I try not eat rice.
Me: I hope you’re feeling better!
Her: Thank u
Me: Is there another day you’d like to meet up this week? Tomorrow? Wednesday?
Her: I’m not sure for Wednesday cuz I need go to home depo in morning time my house have little bit construction stuff.
Me: Well, I’m out-of-town Thurs – Sun.
Her: its ok don’t worry about that
So for now I will end this chapter here. Hopefully I can get a first date with her even though she doesn’t seem all that bright. But beauty is forgivable and I will keep trying to make this happen. But so far it’s been brutal just trying to communicate with this woman so it may already be a fail.
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