Sun Stories: 9 MORE Tanning Salon Horror Stories That Will Make You Say “Gross”

We’ve seen some strange things at out salon, so I decided to ask some other people that have worked in the industry for their crazy stories. Enjoy!

1. The six-pack.

“I worked at a salon for a while. I’ve had people pee and poop in the beds or trash cans. I’ve had people come out of the rooms completely naked. My favorite is the man who would drink a bottle of vodka in his truck, come in and tan, and then leave the bottle or two in the trash. There was another lady who would bring in a six-pack of beer in her purse (always). I also had a lady call the cops saying I was watching her naked because we had cameras up front for break-ins and such, not even near her bed. I had some of the craziest nights working at that salon.

 

2. The zebra stripe.

“It was the day before my junior year of high school years ago, and I decided to get a spray tan because I had bad tan lines from shorts from lifeguarding all summer. I went the day before school started and followed all the instructions for the spray-tan booth. I looked great walking out of the tanning salon. But then my mom called me and we got into a silly argument and I started to cry. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized my sobbing caused my tears to streak the spray tan down my face and neck. Needless to say, no amount of bronzer or self-tanner fixed it and the first day of my junior year in high school I walked in looking like a zebra. On the bright side, my legs turned out awesome. Now I stick to tanning beds.

 

3. The long nap.

“My favorite/weirdest memory was when a lady came in for a tan and it ended with her being escorted out in handcuffs. Our computers up front tell us how much time each bed has left and how long it’s been since the bed shut off. This woman stayed in there for an hour. We tried banging on the doors and calling her name and she wouldn’t respond. We thought she was dead so we called 911. They got the door open and woke her up. Apparently she had taken a large dose of sleeping pills before she got in the bed. Right as the police officer was leaving her room, a bag full of pills fell out of her purse. He arrested her in front of the entire salon.”

 

4. The right day to quit.

“I worked in a tanning salon that the rest of the employees and I swore was haunted. Bulbs would shatter on their own. The radios would turn on and off by themselves and the volume would even change. The employees in the building next door would tell us to stop knocking on the walls but no one was knocking. One day I was opening the salon and was all alone. I was inside the spray-tan booth getting it set up. All of a sudden I heard laughter and very loud footsteps as if someone was sprinting down the hallway. It scared the crap out of me, but when I emerged from the room and couldn’t find a single soul in the salon, I double-checked the front door and it was still locked. No one could have gotten in. I almost quit my job that day. I don’t know why any ghost would want to haunt a tanning salon, but I do know that we were not alone in that building.”

 

5. The reptile.

“I worked at a tanning salon and had to tell a customer she couldn’t put her pet lizard in the bed.

 

6. The dirty towel.

“I worked at a tanning salon one semester in college. The second week that I was there, a man in his mid-thirties pooped in his towel and handed it to me instead of throwing it in the towel bin or throwing it away before he left. However, while I stood there with his poop towel in my hand, he sat down in the waiting room and watched my reaction and what I did with it! I cried and washed my hands for 30 minutes. We bleached the bed he was in and didn’t let anyone go in it for the rest of the day.”

 

7. The storm warning.

“I went tanning late on a particularly stormy night. I got in the bed and after a couple minutes someone banged on my door and screamed, “Tornado — get out!” I got out of the bed and heard the windows vibrating so I ran my mostly naked ass down the hall to an interior room with everyone else in the salon. I was the only naked one.”

8. The double dip.

“A guy came in who I had never seen before. I set him up with a membership and he got into his bed. He was in the room for about 45 minutes, which is odd, but I didn’t think much of it because some people actually get ready after a tan. I didn’t see him leave, but when I went in to clean his bed, it was covered in shit and semen. I don’t know what the hell he was doing in there. I managed to clean it up without vomiting and immediately canceled his membership.

We would have teenagers pee in the spray booths on a regular basis. (This happens more often than you would think — lay a towel on the ground inside of spray booths before you get in). We found poop and pee in the trash several times. One time a girl double-dipped and left her very dirty tampon in the bed and her very dirty underwear hanging from the nozzle in the spray.”

9. And the reason so many people pee at the tanning salon?

“I was getting a spray tan and once I got naked to get into the machine I realized I had to pee but couldn’t put my clothes back on because the mist machine was on a timer and I would miss it. I went in the bed and tried to hold it in but I ended up peeing in the machine. I I finished the tan and came out of the machine so I could clean it up. I had lines running down my legs from the pee.”

 

 

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Kita – Chapter 29 – Sweet and Sexy

“I’m going to see a shrink.”

“Why?”

“To help me deal with my depression over losing JR.”

“Okay. Well I’m sure it’ll help. It’s a tough time, and your friends and family can only do so much. It’s always good to get professional help when you can.”

“Yea. Do you have any snacks?”

“I do sweetheart. Let me get them from their hiding place.”

“Hiding place?”

“Yea. I have to hide any food I have here at the salon from Achilles. Anything he finds around the salon he eats. He can’t help it. He just loves to eat. There’s a secret little drawer in the back cabinet and I hid my snacks in there under some bags.”

“You’re funny!”

I return with an array of cereal bars she can choose from. She picks one and happily munches on it.

I love giving things to Kita. I like helping people in general, but it helps if you’re an adorable little Asian chick. I have a few more surprises for her today. I’m always trying to figure out new ways to improve her tanning experience. I hand her this:

“Ooooh! Sweet & Sexy! For me? Thank you! I love it! You’re so good to me Charles!”

Like our Kita, the lotion is sweet and sexy! I think it’s perfect for her. She’s never used a “hot” bronzer before. We call them tingle bronzers because they make your skin tingle when exposed to ultraviolet light.

There are all kinds of tanning lotions on the market. Perhaps you have used a few for yourself while out at the beach, inside at the tanning salon or simply to get a “tan” look. One very popular tanning lotion is the tingle tanning lotion. What’s so great about tingle tanning lotion you ask?

The reason these lotions are called tingle tanning is that they give a tingling sensation on your skin after you apply the lotion; hence the name. It’s certainly more intense than other tanning lotions on the market. What the lotion does is bring blood to the skin surface and, essentially, oxygen to affect the skin’s melanin. The more melanin that’s affected, the darker your skin is going to become. Basically the purpose to tingle tanning lotions is to boost the effects of UV rays you expose yourself to when lying in a tanning bed. Ultimate-inferno-tingle-lotion

Yes, your skin’s going to be red for approximately one hour after you tan. The redness is similar to a sunburn. However, the redness will fade and you’ll be fine.

What does it all mean? Basically, the lotion’s ingredients, Methyl Nicotinate or Benzyl, are designed to bring more oxygen into the skin by increasing the circulation of blood in your body as well as the increase the amount of oxygen on the surface of the skin. So, tingle tanning lotions are designed for people who want deep tans or have difficulty getting a tan.

Some folks give up on using tingle tanning lotions because of the sensation it gives. Some users have complained that the lotion is painful or uncomfortable. Other users have not made any complaints against this kind of lotion. It’s all depending on how rough your skin is and how high your pain level tolerance is. Everybody’s different, which means what you get from the experience could be different from your friends.

However, if you do endure whatever pain, if any, you will get the end result that the tingle tanning lotions are designed to do…give you tan skin!

If you can handle the temporary burning sensation you will come out of the bed looking darker.

When Kita comes out after her session she looks in the mirror. “Oh my God! I’m darker!”

She loves being dark as I’ve said before.

Baby’s happy.

“Thank you so much! You’re always taking good care of me!”

She hugs me tightly.  I feel her breasts compress against my chest. Then she places her hand on my cheeks and pulls my lips to hers. They are ripe, moist and yield to mine. It was a firm smooch but brief so as not to be discovered by a random client.

She smiles and I melt in her almond eyes. She grasps my hand and squeezes. “I have to go work on a presentation.”

Her hand slips away and she’s gone.

*Sigh…

 

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Kita – Chapter 28 – Hair Done & No Fun

Today is the Saturday I wanted to take Kita to Dave and Buster’s but it was the only day she could schedule her hair appointment. So I will continue to pursue her to get some fun in her life. I’m just floating around the city when I get a text.

“Hey, Charles. Look at my hair now.”

“You look like Storm from the X-Men.”

“Hahahaha”

“It’s like a silver head dress!”

“So happy I’m going blonder!!!”

“It’s going to look so awesome! I’m running some errands in the area. Need a Frappuccino?”

“I ate a banana recently, but thank you! It’s too cold outside to be running errands.”

“Yay! Bananas are better for you than coffee drinks. Oh, and it’s not too bad out now.”

Hours later…

“I talked to Achilles about working there! I want to do it. I am just looking at logistics with my classes and me going away for breaks. My classes are different so I’m making my schedule next week, so I’ll have a decision by then ok? Also, thank you for the Honey Grow card. (Smiley emoji)”

“Sounds great. No worries. We’ll work with your schedule. Take your time working out. You’re welcome! I knew the one person that could put that card to good use!”

An hour later…

“Can you make sure Achilles knows I’m still pondering it? I feel like he thinks I told him 100% yes. I brought up the schedule thing but I think he thought differently. Oh yea, I used the Honey Grow card today and it was delicious!”

“I’ll talk to him Monday. He and I already have decided to split the schedule between the two of us until we find someone. We’re going to open the gym in December so I may take more of his shifts while he runs the gym. Don’t stress, Kita. Take your time and we’ll figure it out.

Two hours later…

“Thanks Charles. I fell asleep. I’m exhausted for no reason.”

“I’m sure you’re tired, Kita. Big day. Hours at the salon creating the perfect blonde highlights! I hope you like it.”

“I do, I’m just so dead right now. And the weather and darkness so early never helps. Haha.”

“I get it. I just wrote an article for the salon that we’re going to send out to our members about Seasonal Affective Disorder. We worked on it today and I know it’s important that we communicate with our clients about the importance of how we can help them.”

“That’s awesome! Yeah, it really does affect your moods/emotions.”

“It’s paramount that we communicate the importance of controlled UV emissions to our clients for their well being during these cold, dark winter months in the Northeast. I’m glad you get it.”

“Yes because it definitely helps!!!”

“Well we’re here for you to absorb your power through our light! I’m going to do a stand up session before I start work tomorrow. Oh, and I have some new ideas to get you darker!!!”

“Thank you!!! (Smiley emoji) Thank goodness for tanning! And what are your ideas?”

“I have a special lotion, (Only for you my #1) and I want to try a 12 minute over exposure session and see what that does. Always creative.”

“Oh my! A special lotion???? The tingling one?”

“Yes! But it has a very gentle tingling vanilla and chocolate scent that I’m giving only to you. Always working hard for my Yelp reviews.”

“Wow sounds delicious!!! Hahah.”

 

By then it was almost midnight, so we both went to sleep.

Thing was, I wish she were sleeping next to me.

 

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 27 – Those Who Frequent Tanning Beds Are Likely To Be Addicted (To Things Other Than Tanning Beds)

Kita loves tanning. Her parents want her to focus on her education and not get a job. They’re paying for her to go to college and have her on an allowance. Her mom even gives her extra money to pay for better groceries so she maintains her health. I offered her a job here when we lost Summer. (See: Sun Stories: Summer – Summer is Slipping Away) She said she would LOVE to work at this salon but she’d have to see. I’m assuming she has to check with the parents. I gave her what her schedule would be and that she’d be getting FREE tanning. She said she’d think about it. Thing is, if she did start to work here she’d be work shifts opposite of me, so I’d never see her. Kinda sucks.

I didn’t think she’d be able to work here, but lately she seems more interested in making it happen. But if she works here and can tan for free will she tan every day? (See: Kita – 2017 to Present – Addicted to Tanning?) I need to do some more research.

Now that the general populace is more aware of how wonderful and beneficial prolonged exposure to UV rays is (if you’re a developing malignant melanoma), tanning salons aren’t quite as popular as they once were. And yet there are somehow still plenty of people who regularly strip down, put on those weird tiny glasses, and go under the lamps. Why do they still engage in an activity that’s so objectively self-destructive? Well, a lot of the time, according to research, it’s because they’re sad drunks and/or junkies.

It’s unclear what motivated the eggheads at Yale to study the self-destructive tendencies of orange people (it’s not like that has any relevance to, say, world peace or anything), but this they did, only to reach the conclusion that those who display a “tanning dependence” are also prone to other forms of addiction. Like a sixfold tendency toward alcoholism, and a five times greater chance of having an accompanying “exercise addiction.”

Plus, it stands to reason that people who pay money to climb into a contraption which provides fake sunlight are also three times as likely to suffer from seasonal affective disorder (which, with the initials S.A.D., enjoys the most convenient acronym in psychiatric history).

Yes, pointing out that people with addictive tendencies tend to be addicted to more than one thing may not be the most revolutionary discovery made so far this century. The hope, however, is that the findings will help spur the development of inventions that might help those who are compelled to overdo their UV exposure to the point where they look like a vintage purse golem before they’re devoured by skin cancers. What kind of inventions? Only time will tell. Hopefully not a machine where you stuff in coins, pull on a lever, and hope various fruits line up the right way. Or anything to do with starting nuclear conflicts.

I don’t want cute little Kita to get destroyed from tanning! What’ll I do?

 

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Sun Stories – The Most Orange, Crispy Tanning Horror Stories You’ll Ever Read

Dear Dr. Derm, forgive me for what I’m about to say.

So, yeah, “tan me” is way hotter than “pasty-and-pale me.” (And by way hotter, I’m not intimating that I’m incredibly good-looking—or even a little good-looking—it’s about that little bit of bronze that balances out my sometimes ruddy skin, makes my hair look blonder without the $250 highlighting bill and let’s me walk out of the house with some Aquaphor on as lip gloss and nothing else). But, since tanning is universally known to cause bad stuff (hi, cancer), I refrain and instead hit the bottle.

Either way you go, the bottle tan or the UV-ray real thing, getting bronzed often produces the most brutal (and totally hilarious) stories. To wit…

I went tanning before a date once, because I was feeling a little pasty in the dead of winter. I tanned in the buff, and went for the full 15 minutes. Not a good idea when you haven’t seen a ray of sunshine since August. I burnt my butt and my chest. Not cute—and of course it made me pray that the date wouldn’t go that well. The clothes had to stay on!—Nat, 31

My senior year of high school, my friends and I went down to Cancun for spring break. As we basked in the sun, a friend rolled over and asked me if I wanted any of her sunscreen. I told her no, I wanted to wait a little before applying so as to get a little color and said something stupid about my “natively Floridian skin” being able to take the heat. Flash forward to later that night, when my skin had turned bright red and blisters had started to show up across my belly and shoulders. I spent the rest of the vacation wrapped up like a mummy while my friends called “not it” on sharing a bed with me; by the end of the trip, my skin was peeling off in long, clammy sheets and the big joke in the morning was to wake up, find a strip of my skin in bed and guess which body part it had come from as in “Oops! There’s her forearm!” or “Hmmm, I think this is her right flank.” Eleven years later, I’ve had no less than three suspicious moles removed, all in the vicinity of my Cancun burn. Clearly, my “Floridian skin” couldn’t handle the heat.—Janey, 29

I should have listened when the front desk girl winced and recommended five minutes less than what I asked for at Hollywood Tans. I was fried—and had to go to a wedding that night, where I was seeing my ex for the first time since the breakup. Needless to say, it wasn’t the I’m-hot-and-you-so-regret-breaking-up-with-me moment I’d envisioned.—Kat, 30

When I was 12 years old, I wore my first adult bikini ever. It was a J.Crew pink bandeau top with white polka dot bottoms—I have never felt so chic. Granted, this was at a time when my nickname was “tomato on toothpicks” for a reason – I still had a surplus of baby fat in my middle region. Anyhow, my friend and I decided to play some cards which turned into an all-day tournament. By evening, we were burnt to a crisp. That night, when I took off my bikini, I not only had a bright white stripe where my bandeau top had been, but bright white stripes where my stomach rolls had blocked the sun from reaching. For about two weeks, I had a lovely bumble bee, perfectly horizontal-striped pattern from chin to thigh. Talk about shame.—Emily, 29

In college, after going out and having a few drinks I would come back to my room and decide that it was a great time to apply self tanner. Being that this was 10 years ago, the formulas weren’t what they are today—there wasn’t any gradual build up of pretty, golden color a la that Jergens stuff. So, I’d get home, slap it on and go to bed. Not only would I wake up to a hangover the next day—but an orange streaked face and entire body parts without color. Don’t mix booze with bronzer.—Kim, 26

A few years ago, a friend talked me into going tanning. It was the dead middle of winter and I think I was see-through I was so ghostly white. So, we walk up to the reception desk and she’s singing the praises of going tanning—”It feels really nice and warm! You’ll have a tiny bit of color when no one else does. It’s make any zits go away,” blah blah blah. Well, between her and the front desk lady, they had me signed up for the ten-tan package. I’m into this! Yeah, no more zits! The second I get undressed and step into the booth I have a panic attack. Something about the neon-coffin closing on top of me totally wigs me out—I go running, yes really running, from the booth. Couldn’t take it. And that ten-pack never got used.—Sara, 24

And just to prove that guys have their own tanning fiascos, too:

I was maybe 11 when a friend shared his bottle of Beach Boys-brand tanning lotion with me. We were really concerned with being cool and looking tan when the swimming pool opened for the summer and this seemed like the quickest and smartest way to go about it. I faithfully applied the lotion, which looked and felt like sunblock, each day before I spritzed my hair with lemon juice and peroxide. About three days into the experiment, my mother was staring at me from across the dinner table and told me to go wash my face, that I had dirt all over. This seemed weird because I hadn’t been playing in dirt, but being a kid it was very possible that I got dirty somehow—so I followed instructions. This scenario repeated itself the next night and I began to think that just maybe it was my bitchin’ tan she was noticing. The tanning lotion, at this point, had turned my face a rusty red—but not all over, the color was clustered in certain areas of my face, giving me the overall appearance of having competed in a mud pie-eating contest. Coupled with the copper color that my hair was turning, I was cultivating quite the look! Thankfully, mother threw away the tanner, but it took another week or so before all of my face was the same shade again.—Tommy, 31

 

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 20 – Addicted to Tanning?

“UV light may trigger the same reward pathway in the brain as drugs such as heroin.”

I think Kita is addicted to tanning. I decided to do some research.

Experts have long wondered why many people tan regularly despite the known risk of skin cancer. Past studies suggest that the motivation is not just vanity—some tanning buffs have symptoms of dependence and withdrawal. Now a study in Cell adds more evidence that tanning is addictive. It showed that mice become dependent on beta-endorphin, a drug-like opioid molecule made by the skin under ultraviolet light.

A team at Massachusetts General Hospital scrutinized the opioid system, the reward pathway hijacked by drugs such as heroin, because the researchers had earlier found that beta-endorphin and the skin pigment melanin originate from the same protein. Other studies have also pointed to the opioid system; in one, frequent tanners showed withdrawal symptoms when they took a drug that blocked opioid receptors.

In the new study, shaved mice got a daily dose of UV light long enough to tan but not burn—on a par with 20 to 30 minutes in midday Florida sun for a fair-skinned human. After a few days, levels of beta-endorphin rose in the mice’s blood. Then the researchers rated pain tolerance, a marker of opioid dependence, using heat and touch. The UV mice had a pain threshold up to three times higher than mice that had not tanned. As levels of beta-endorphin rose, so did pain tolerance, suggesting the endorphin played a key role.

When the UV mice received an opioid blocker, their pain threshold reverted to normal, and they showed withdrawal symptoms such as shaking paws and chattering teeth. The mice even modified their behavior to avoid withdrawal: those that received opioid blockers in a dark box preferred to spend time in a white box, despite rodents’ natural penchant for darkness.

Humans and mice share these chemical processes, so the researchers believe beta-endorphin may cause addiction in people. Getting sun may be rewarding to the brain because we need vitamin D, explains David Fisher, a co-author of the study and director of the melanoma program at Mass General. Next Fisher hopes to investigate whether this pathway is involved in seasonal affective disorder, possibly providing a new therapeutic target.

 

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Sabrina – Surprise Visit – Part 2

I take her back to the Versa Spa spray tan machine. I show her where to put the barrier lotion. (Between the fingers, beds of the nails, palms, between the toes and soles of the feet.) That’s where you don’t want the solution to go. I show her how to wear the hair net. (Above the hairline so you don’t get a weird crescent on your forehead below your hairline.) Then I show her the four poses you have to do while getting sprayed. It looks like we’re “Vogueing” in the hallway together.

I tell her there’s a woman’s voice that will guide her through the whole process.

“How long is the process?”

“The whole session is only four minutes. If you can follow directions, you can get a great spray tan. Any questions?”

“I think I got it.”

“Then go to it Sabrina.”

In she goes, and I head back up to the front of the salon. I’m thinking how great Sabrina looks. She’s come a long way at thirty-four years of age. I remember she told me she was addicted for ten years! How did she survive and look as good as she does? That’s fucking heroin! I’m so proud of her!

Fifteen minutes later, lovely Sabrina emerges from Room 8 and approaches the counter. I tell her she has to stay dry for the next 6 hours. She thanks me profusely and gives me a hug.

She’s so sweet to me and tells me that she wants to go to Gran Caffe L’Aquila for dinner for her 1 year anniversary of sobriety.

I’m honored to be the man that will sit across the table from this beautiful woman on that day. (God, my blog has gotten so much better and so have I!)

Sabrina heads out and I wish her a Happy New Year and I remind her she must stay dry for the next six hours for the tan to develop.

——————————————————————–

Later Update: Sabrina wrote a glorious 5 Star Yelp review about me and our salon. (Better than money!)

I text her and thanked her and wished her a Happy New Year. She texted me back that she had done something bad.

I was terrified. Had she re-offended with drugs?

“What happened?”

“I slept with my ex.”

Oh… But technically you’re not divorced yet so you just slept with your husband.”

Oh yea.. Thank you for that. But now he’s not texting me or anything.”

“I know you said the sex was fire between you guys and I get that, but if you guys hooked up, I think that’s all it was.”

“Oh.”

“You’re relationship was toxic and dangerous for over 10 years. If you slept with him I think that’s all it was. I’m sorry. But steer clear so you don’t re-offend. He’s not going to get back to you because you can never go back to that toxic relationship that destroyed you. ”

“But…”

“No. Resist and stay sober. I hate the holidays.”

“But I…”

“I know Sabrina. Go forward. I know it’s hard, but let go of the bars of your addiction and walk out of your cell. You’re doing great.”

“Thank you! I love you and value our friendship! Hope you know I plan on being in your life for a long time.

What a lovely person.

“Promise? Because that’s what I want Sabrina!

“Thank you… Hey, I know what I did was wrong but because of my awesome spray tan I looked awesome naked thanks to you! (And thank you for that delicious visual, Sabrina!)

I love Sabrina and I would love to see more of her because she’s a beautiful person. Not just on the outside.

I can’t wait to see her again.

 

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