Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 6 – Oh My God – Part 2

I direct her to her free time interests. Food is always an easy one. All people like to eat. Kita says she loves all kids of food but hates mushrooms. Me too. She says she likes the smell of pickles but can’t eat them. I tell her I love the smell but hate them equally unless they are sliced incredibly thin and buried under a delicious juicy burger.

Kita says he like cucumbers, I don’t answer. I like them but they always repeat on me because I am a carnivore through and through. My beloved daughter Lorelei is a hardcore vegan but my generation wants to kill stuff and eat steak.

“What food do you love?”

“Seared salmon and green beans. But I can’t get that because I’m a poor student at Drexel.”

“Last night I was at this great Italian restaurant, Gran Caffe L’Aquila. I have the hookup with the bartender and the owner. I was there with my buddy Church and I had three chardonnay’s and he had a gelato cup and a coffee and our bill was only $13.

“Oh my god that is amazing. I live on  ramen noodles.”

“Do you want to get a gig cause I could hook you up.”

“My parents put me on an allowance and don’t want me to get a job so I can focus on my studies.”

At this point my dear readers I’m setting the snare but it’s not like that. It’s a future phicklephilly fail but I will grace the time I get to spend time with this delicious baby, because I am about to close.

I ve been in sales my entire life. But I’ve never been predatory. I’ve never been closing the deal. I’m more about opening a relationship with a client. I’ve always been that way with a girl.

“What kind of food do you like Kita?”

“I love salmon and green beans. I miss that. My mom makes me so much good food!”

“Sounds simple and amazing!. I want to tell you a place I went to last night.”

“Where? I never go anywhere.”

“Gran Caffe L’Aqilla.”

“My man Church and I went there last night. I had three Chardonnay and my buddy had amazing two scoop gelato and coffee… $13.

“Oh my God.”

“I get the hookup and I know where to go.”

“I wish.”

I pull up their menu on the salon’s computer.

“Check the out. Pan seared salmon with vegetables, All you want Kita.”

“Oh that looks amazing!”

When I was young and in a band, the girls just rolled to me. That was easy an after all of my torture in middle school I figured I deserved that. But I have three sisters and I grew up with women and grew to understand them. (That and you can never get in the bathroom)

Why am I having ideas about Kita?  She’s really sweet and apparently likes to hang at the salon. I am embracing classic phicklephilly love for her. This child. She’s so beautiful and fits into a fantasy caricature of things that turn me on. She doesn’t know that but I’m at an age were I’m just honored to be seen in public with such and exquisite gem. But when I think of anther other outcome this encounter if it actually happens I would just be happy to sit across the table from Kita and lay some incredible gelato on her.

“Lets go there and get you some salmon.”

“Yes.”

“Really? I can get the hookup and a flight of gelato that you’ll love.”

“Let’s do that.”

“What does your Wednesday look like?”

“I have classes until noon but free after that.”

I think I’m going in for the close as usual. Born sales guy.

Baby seal on the rocks jumps in the water to cool off from current life stress , Great white shark devours seal.

“So lunch or dinner”

“Dinner works for me.”

“Around 5pm?”

“I’ll make the reservation, send you a calendar invite and text you the day before to confirm.”

‘Yes. Let’s do it.”

I confirm her cell and tell her I’ll send her my contact info. (Now we’re connected) I’ll send her and email invite after I make the reservation and I’ll confirm the day before so she can bullshit bail on me with some lame excuse.

I don’t really care. If she bails I’ll be doing wine and noodles at Dan Dan with my  friend Francesca and loving life.

But I will feel the loss of Kita. (Praying she’s lonely and has nothing going on and needs guidance through her lost relationship with JR. (Worth dinner with this lovely baby)

We chit-chat some more but baby has to go study. I am feeling the trembling excitement of the opportunity to share a meal with this exquisite beauty that has become my number 1 in a space of weeks.

I have a girlfriend that will rock my world this weekend, but I only get to see her probably once a month. I adore her and she is an incredible match.

But I’m still going to do this stuff because I can’t get off the drug of lust, beauty and sex.

I just hope to god she doesn’t mention our little dinner to new guy. Because if she does, you know that young insecure little cunt is going to put the kabosh on my dinner with princess of the restaurant. That could happen, and it will only mean that Kita is easily controlled by inferior loser dudes.

I just want to look across the table at her and learn more about who she is.

I pray this will happen because I am so taken by her, but only time will tell.

We’ll see.

 

Just so you know what I’m so enamoured of her I’ll give you this….

How can phicklephilly resist?

(Kita – Now)

That’s why I’m losing my shit…

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 5 – Oh My God – Part 1

Kita rolled into the salon today just like she said she would. She chit chats with me for a bit before tanning.

“How are you feeling about everything with your ex?”

“I’m okay, but I just wish I could move forward and not still hurting.”

“You’re hurting because he was your first love and you were together for over 3 years. But spend some quality time with your new guy and the pain won’t be as bad. You’ll be having fun and not thinking of JR.”

“I know but it still hurts.”

“It’s supposed to… that means you care,  you have a good heart and are a good person.”

“Sometimes at night when I’m alone, I feel sad.”

“That’s going to happen. That’s part of healing. It takes time.”

“I know. But I want to be there now and don’t want to have to go through this part.”

“Everybody goes through this part, Kita.”

“I just don’t want it to be there but it is.”

“We’ll work on this. We’ll keep talking about it.”

“Okay. ”

“What do you like to do when you’re not studying or tanning?”

“I like to study and eat right and work out.”

“What’s your drink of choice?” (Cause I love to drink)

“I have Asian glow.”

“What’s that?” (smiles)

“I can’t really drink. I have one or two and I’m gone.” (I’m actually glad to learn this and that Kita isn’t the unusual college booze hound.)

“My friends are all in fraternities and there’s obviously lots of planning and parties and I’m not about that.”

I love that too. A transplant that hasn’t fallen into the destructive part of college..

“Do you have a part-time job?”

“My parents don’t want me to get a job because they want me to focus on my studies.”

I love this girl. Beauty, intelligence, studious and isolation.

We’re chatting and customers are coming in. I don’t know what the hell is going on because we are actually busy. Apparently a lot of people get married in October.

She tells me people say she looks like Karrueche Tran.  We google her and she does, but Kita is way cuter. Besides Karrueche is Vietnamese and Filipino. Kita’s Chinese.

I keep thinking when each interruption occurs she’ll find a way to bail, but Kita doesn’t. She steps away and plays with her phone and continues to hang. I love that. Doesn’t she have anywhere to be? Maybe not. Estranged boyfriend. New guy making his moves through instagram. But Kita’s still feeling the sadness and pull we all have. The remorse, loss, and betrayal from this boy.

She doesn’t have a job, she’s not in a sorority and has just arrived in Philly from Florida. She may have just met me at the bus station in Hollywood in 1982. But I’m not that guy anymore. Right?

She’s just letting customers go and she’s hanging at the counter and I’m loving every minute of it. I’m actually feeling anxiety and shaking a bit I’m so excited by Kita’s presence. That is some classic phicklephilly infatuation.

I’m going to do what I do and the shark fin will cut through the water.

I love Cherie. I do. She’s amazing. Marriage material but please find me and kill me if I ever even start to talk about anything like that. But Cherie only gets down here maybe once a month. I love that because at this point in my life I like to be alone and once a month is like an Olympic sex event but is always unforgettable.

You saw how much I celebrated going to the movies with Cherie when she was having her period. I want that. But she’s so busy with her Masters, and Children’s Hospital and her son, etc. and me with all of my businesses, there is limited time.

When Cherie and I are together it is God come to earth and I adore her and our times together. I love being with my love and it’s so peaceful and easy I would build a life with a lady like this. Cherie is a dedicated, loyal wonderful, sexual dynamo that I absolutely love unconditionally. But there are variables and compartmentalization  that needs to happen.

Cherie who is rarely around and has earned over 40 chapters of love. Endless love letters to her legacy but she is simply absent because of her career and education. She’s one of the greatest women I have ever met and I want to keep her, but I am what I am.

I want to sit quietly at a table with her a have dinner. I want to stroll through an art show with her. I want to go on vacation with her. I want to giggle over drinks with her, but our schedules will simply not allow it.

I meet Kita and she’s just a sweet girl who wants for some reason to be Florida Dark in the tanning department. I work at a salon. I can make that happen.

She loves to be tan. She told me tonight that she googled salons before she left Florida so she could continue her tanning journey. (You’ve seen the pics… she is absolutely smoking hot. Bronze goddess. Malibu Barbie)

I think because of her Navy brat life a being adopted she has had some challenges. she has another sister who is adopted as well,  but there has been something that the child must feel or wonder about.

It’s October and there is no reason it’s this goddamn busy at the salon tonight but then I realize there are a lot of weddings in October. It’s cool and crisp and I will make your bride darker than the dress.

There is no reason for this delicious beauty to want to hang at the counter and chat with this middle-aged great white shark.

This baby seal is in a shitload of danger but to be honest, the shark is just happy to have her near him tonight.

Just like the hour we spent last Sunday.

What am i getting myself in to?  What are my feelings here?

(Kita – High School)

Lovely Legs….

 

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 3 – Entanglements – Part 1

Kita came in just like she said she would on days I was working. I love this. It’s classic phicklephilly without any fulfillment. A beautiful perfect Asian girl who had the right body type I like. Young girl meets a legal adult.

If I wasn’t the shark I was, I would lie and say I am here to guide her. But I’m here to devour this baby seal if she even slips of the dry rock into the sea for a minute.

I’ll give her all of the guidance, conversation and patience that maybe the Admiral should have shown her but I’m not him. I’m nothing like him. I have a conscience and I will respect and defend this baby from a bunch of douche bag boyfriends but if Kita swims anywhere near my maw she will be split in half.

 

Kita comes in and she’s having problems with her boyfriend and I love it. I know this child will leap to another young man who will send out his best representative to penetrate her and cross this Chinese girl off his list. He has no idea of the exquisite wonderland that has been opened to him.

But I see it.

It’s a another quiet day at the salon and Kita wants to chat. I’m fixated on my love. She sits in the chair and crosses her legs and as always they are exquisite and shapely. Kita has no idea that her legs alone are a point of worship for this cool dad that knows stuff about relationships and writes a dating blog. I’ve been reduced to an ape that sees a mate because of natural selection.

She begins to tell me about JR who she’s been with since she was 17. That fucker totally punched my love’s V card. They’ve been in love for years. 17! She’s 21 now and it’s been four years. He was the puppy love best representative in the beginning as this dude would be but he’s failed miserably in the last few years.

He’s become distant and controlling of my lovely girl. She’s been loyal and sweet and devoted and he’s chosen another path. Lying. Cheating. And worst of all putting her on a shelf. He blows off beauty for weeks at a time and has no contact with her. What the fuck is that? That’s immature. But I start to realize he’s known her so long he knows he can manipulate her like that now.

That’s pretty fucked up to do that to woman. I don’t know when he developed that. He may have just have a personality defect that she’s grown out of. He blows her off, breaks up with her and says bad things to her. (Uses profanity. I hate that)

She takes it because she doesn’t know any better. She’s a good girl. A good person and is really trying.

She doesn’t understand this new behavior.

But this is his real shit. He’s an insecure loser that had a girl he was tired of and started to treat her badly. Because he could. But that pup got off the leash when she met another guy.

 

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Sun Stories: 9 Tanning Salon Horror Stories That Will Make You Say “Gross”

We’ve seen some strange things at out salon, so I decided to ask some other people that have worked in the industry for their crazy stories.

Enjoy!

 

1. The number one with a mullet.

“I worked at a tanning salon in high school. A weird middle-aged man with a mullet came in for a one-time tan. He thought it’d be a fun time to jack off in the bed and come all over the inside of the tanning bed. I refused to clean it.”

 

2. The stick-ons.

“This happened to my sister, not me, but one time she went tanning the day of homecoming and came home a little pink from being burnt. She didn’t really think much of it and preceded to get ready for the dance, which included putting on stick-on bra cups. Fast forward to the end of the night, she went to take off the stick-ons and the skin on her tits proceeded to rip off with them. She lost at least layer on each and could only wear loose tops and no bra for a couple of weeks. She says to this day that it was the most painful experience of her life, including child birth .

 

3. The first job.

“I worked at a tanning salon for two years, and by deep-cleaning the beds, we found some nasty stuff. A co-worker and I found a USED panty liner, a used condom, a pair of soiled panties, and SEVERAL empty liquor bottles. This was my first job and I was 16 to 18 years old cleaning this stuff up! PEOPLE ARE NASTY.”

4. The eyewear.

“I once went to a tanning bed with some friends. The lady at the desk asked, ‘Do you have any eyewear?’ And I said yes. She then said, ‘Is it on you? I need to see it.’ Thinking this was weird, I said yes and went around the counter to show her. This entire time I thought she was saying, ‘Do you have any underwear? Is it on you?’ I proceeded to partially pull my pants down so she could see my ‘underwear’… She looked at me in disbelief while my friends laughed at me. The woman yelled, ‘No I meant EYEWEAR!’ I didn’t have any eyewear. To this day my friends won’t let me live that one down.”

 

5. The forgotten friend.

“One time someone left a vibrator in the tanning bed.”

 

6. The wastebasket.

“I worked at a tanning salon for a pretty long time and you realize people do some weird stuff (like wear sunscreen in the bed, what’s the point). The weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me was going into the spray-tan booth to clean it after someone got a spray and realizing they peed in the waste basket. It was a middle-aged woman who made no attempt to clean it up, just left. The bathroom was across the hall from the room. Such a joy cleaning that mess.”

7. The broken fan.

“I went in a stand-up tanning booth once and after a few minutes realized how unbearably hot it had gotten in there. I looked up and noticed the fan wasn’t moving…because a dead mouse was lodged in it, its legs and tail dangling down toward me.”

 

8. The selfie.

“I’ve worked at a tanning salon for eight or so years, and a ton of crazy stuff has happened. We’ve had a gorgeous guy who peed in the trashcan (despite the bathroom 10 feet away). Then a blind, elderly woman accused me of stealing her weed she thought she left in the room but that she had actually left in the car. Also had to help a woman delete a naked picture she took in the room off of her Snapchat story because she did not know how.”

 

9. The super gulp.

“I have worked at a few tanning salons over the years throughout high school and college, and I’ve seen almost everything from self-pleasure to a guy who left streak marks across the bed. But the one that takes the cake was the person who brought their 60-ounce Super Gulp into our standup bed and dumped it all over the floor, fried the circuits, and started a electrical fire in the wall and left without saying a single word.”

 

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 1 – Hello Lovely

I met Kita when she came into the salon for the very first time. She walked in wearing a striped shirt, a light little jacket and a pair of black shorts. She is a petite Asian girl who is incredibly fit. She’s really tan. But it looks hot on her and her hair is dyed blonde.  She’s 21 years old and just moved to Philly from Florida. She’s completing the consent form and I’m making small talk as always.  I have her look at the camera so I can take her photo for identification. We have a rule at the salon, if they’re attractive we let them know we’re taking their picture so we can get a shot of that pretty face. If not we just take it without them knowing!

She’s really cute and has a world-class set of legs on her.

She’s originally from Washington DC.  But attended college in Florida before transferring up here to attend Drexel University to earn her degree in Hospitality Management.

She has a great tan and could be the poster child for our salon. Her tan is that incredible. But being from Florida the natural sun down there I assume kept her dark. It makes her look exotic and I love unique looking ladies. I make a fuss about how great her hair looks and she likes that.

I’m happy that we’ve acquired a new pretty client I can chat to and see when she comes in. She’s so cute!

I tell her about all of our products and services and the different packages. She goes with the monthly all access premium package. That’s eighty bucks a month and she has access to every bed in the house.

This chick is a serious tanner.

I send her into the best bed in the house and show her all of the features of the machine. Of course it’s the Alpha 6800. New this bed costs $35,000. 600 watts in the face tanner because the face is harder to tan than the rest of the body because it gets so much daily exposure. More ultra violet A rays than B rays so it browns the face rather than burn it. 180 watts of power in the tubes to bake you up delicious for the 10 minute maximum time. There are also 3 levels of tanning on this bed. Basic, Mediterranean, or Caribbean. In other words, dark, darker, or darkest. Makes sense right? The unit also has air conditioning throughout to keep you cool and there are two vents that extend outward toward your face to keep you cool. There’s a plug-in the upper left of the bed that you can hook up to your phone so you can listen to your own music while you tan. Rockin’! Last but certainly not least there are two little nozzles in there that aqua mist you during your session. Glorious. It is ‘the experience’ when it comes to tanning.

Of course Kita has to go into this bed because she’s paid for the experience, and baby deserves the best. She’s sociable and nice. I start to have a shine for her, beyond her having spectacular legs.

In she goes and I finish putting her info into our system. She’ll start to come in on a regular basis now and I’ll get to see her and hopefully get to know her. In the meantime I’ll check out her Instagram and see what her life is like. (Come on… everybody does that.)

This is a short piece, but Kita seems like a great girl and I find her interesting. There’s just something about her that radiates good energy. People come in here to tan from all walks of life. Some are great fun people to talk to and others are duds.

This little lady is a shining star who has my full attention.

We’ll see what happens.

 

 

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Sun Stories: More Crazy Tales

(My aunt just got diagnosed with skin cancer. I go once or twice a week to tan, so I decide to cancel my subscription. The sales associate is very ‘baked.’)

Sales Associate: “Hi, welcome to [Store]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi. Yeah, I actually need to cancel my subscription here.”

Sales Associate: “Oh, that’s too bad! Do you mind if I ask why?”

Me: “Well, my aunt just got diagnosed with skin cancer, and it was sort of a wake up call…”

Sales Associate: “Really? That happened to me, too! My mom has skin cancer.”

Me: “…and you still work and tan here?”

Sales Associate: “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Do you guys still do that free tan on your birthday thing?”

Me: “Yes, we do!”

Customer: “Well, no one called me!”

Me: “Oh, we don’t actually call the clients.”

Customer: “How am I supposed to know when to come then?”

Me: “You just come in on your birthday.”

Customer: “Well, when is that?”

| South Hill, WA, USA | Right | February 24, 2010

Customer: “I would like to use my upgrades to spray tan.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t do that anymore, our new system doesn’t allow us to.”

Customer: “Well, just type in your magic code or something!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. It physically won’t let us do that.”

Customer: “You don’t have a magic code?”

Me: “No, sorry.”

Customer: “But you look like Hermione from that magic movie…”

| | Right | June 30, 2009

(I’m working the front of a tanning salon and a customer comes up to me, completely naked.)

Customer: “Does this tan look even to you?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I need you to go back to your booth and put your clothes on. You’re bothering the other customers.”

Customer: “But I need to know if this tan is even. Does it look like I’m burning?”

Me: *trying not to look at her* “Ma’am, I’m sorry. I need you to go back to your booth and put your clothes on. You can’t just walk around naked.”

Customer: “Fine! You’re no help at all!”

| | Right | May 8, 2008

(Customer walks in and is a bright white Jewish guy with a big beard.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, my brother says you can give me a tan so I can look like Wesley Snipes.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “You know Wesley Snipes, He’s got a great tan. It looks like he’s a real black guy.”

Me: “Wesley Snipes IS a REAL black guy.”

Customer: “Yeah, because of the great tan he’s got.”

Me: “…Okay?”

Customer: “Look, I just need to be as dark as that guy so I can learn how to rap.”

Me: “You can learn how to rap without being black. Look at Eminem.”

Customer: “Are you gonna give me a tan or what? I have all the money to pay for it.”

Me: “Well, okay. If that’s what you want…but you’re gonna have to shave off that beard and go to the jewelry shop across the street to buy a giant platinum chain with diamonds all over it.”

Customer: “Smart a**!”

(So we put him through the spray tanner like ten times and made him pay 35 bucks for every time. We had almost gotten him as black as Wesley Snipes when our boss walked in and asked what the h*ll was going on. He said we had to shave all beards before starting the process. So, now this guy gets his beard shaved by my coworker and the result was the funniest thing I had ever seen in my life. He looked like a freaking raccoon!)

(The customer looks in the mirror.)

Customer: “You sons of b**ches, you did this on purpose! You racist b**tards hate Jewish people! All I wanted was a f**king tan!”

(The raccoon got dressed super fast and ran out…)

 

 

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Sun Stories – Chanel – American Gypsy – Part 2

“Now we have a little secret between us… No?”

 STOP. This post is NSFW. (Not Safe For Work)

 

It’s too racy for phicklephilly, but you can read it on my other site. La Petite Mort.

Below is the link.

 

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=735

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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