Sun Stories: Sasha – My Number 1

Sasha came in and signed up one night when I wasn’t working. The college girl, Summer who works the nights I don’t did the intake on Sasha. (See: Summer – Night Shift Girl) A couple of days later Sasha strolls in to tan while I’m working and I thought my eyes would pop out of my head. Here is this slender stunner. Lovely raven hair and perfect features. Shapley legs and small bust. (Love that girlish figure)

So of course I’m chatting her up and placing her onto my mental list of favorite women who come into the salon. She’s definitely Top 5.

I originally entitled this piece “I love you” because this is a classic example of what inspired this blog. I’m always “falling in love” with women on a daily basis. All they have to be is cute and sweet. So it’s not really love. It’s just desire, and lust. (I changed the title because I don’t really love her.)

I love my girlfriend Cherie, not any of these hot chicks. They’re just little treats that swim in and out of my daily life. But I’m tantalized by them all and love the attention and thrill I get when I see them. There’s always new ones and ones that disappear and reappear throughout the season. It’s fun!

One day I come in to start my shift and Achilles says that some woman named Sasha left her watch in the room after she was finished her session. He said the watch was in the drawer under the counter and if she comes in, give it back to her.

He leaves and I open the drawer. I want to see what kind of watch it is.

Kate Spade. Conservative. Cute. I like holding a piece of Sasha’s jewelry in my hands. I grab one of our little towels and clean it up a bit and place it back in the drawer. Then I go one better. I call Sasha.

“Hello?”

“Hey Sasha, this is Charles calling from the tanning salon. You left your watch here.”

“Oh my God! Thank you! I couldn’t imagine where I left it! Thank you, Charles. I’ll be in tonight to get it. Thank you again!”

“No worries. I’m just happy we found it. See you later.”

(On the left. I’m using actual photos of her so you can see what I mean, but the sunglasses will protect her identity.)

I get a rush of joy that I was the one who got to call Sasha. It’s now as if I found the watch. I also liked hearing her use my name on the phone. Say my name, Sweet Sasha!

Later, when the salon is busy and I’m chatting with some of the ladies in the waiting area. We’re all laughing and giggling at something I said.

Sasha walks in. I announce her, and say: “…And here’s another thing I love doing. Giving jewelry to pretty ladies!”

I pull out the watch from the drawer and place it into Sasha’s dainty hands. So now there’s a connection. She thinks I’m the hero who found and returned her watch. It was always great seeing her lovely, elegant visage and chatting with this beautiful girl.

With great rapidity Sasha had moved from Top 5 to #1 .

But sadly, after a few months of tanning Sasha let us know that she was taking a break from tanning for a bit. We were sad that we wouldn’t see her anymore. (Even my co-worker, Summer likes Sasha and she hates nearly everyone.)

 

It’s been a few months now. I’m working at the salon last night when the phone rings. I answer in my usual upbeat, professional greeting.

“Hey Charles, it’s Sasha.”

I reply with surprise and delight using her full name. I’m delighted that she called. (Dopamine dropping!)

“How are you, Sasha?”

“I’m great! I’m thinking about coming back to do tanning again.”

“Wonderful. We’ve all missed you and would love you to return to our fine salon.”

“Can I still get that deal you offered me when last we spoke?”

“Whatever you want, the answer is yes!”

“Great. I’ll see you tomorrow, Charles.”

“See you then!”

Sooo….. my love is returning to me at last! Can’t wait to see her! Thank goodness I asked Summer to take her Saturday shift yesterday. I had nothing going on and figured why not be busy and make a few bucks? Can’t wait to see her!

She came in Sunday! So beautiful!

I was so happy to see her again. My baby is back!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Summer – 2017 to Present – Return of the Outlaw

I’ve been working a lot lately, but the good news is our girl Summer from last season has returned to take some shifts for us. She’s our best hire to date, so I’m glad she’s finally back.

My darling Cherie has gotten a babysitter for Saturday night, so after work she’s going to jump in the car and come for a little visit. Which means we have limited time so I know certain things need to happen. This is the first Saturday I’ve had off in a while, probably almost two months. I get up, hit the shower, much-needed manscaping occurs, and I’m dressed and out the door. I didn’t make my bed this morning because later It’ll be stripped, and then made with fresh sheets for the arrival of her eminence.

I leave my place on Pine and walk north on 19th. The square in Rittenhouse is full of the usual cast of characters. Families together, children playing, dogs being walked, People chilling on the benches, friends sipping coffee and chatting. You can always find a tranquil moment in this metropolitan oasis.

First point of business is, I must go to my favorite Saturday breakfast spot, Rachael’s at 19th and Sansom. It’s been too long. I go in and of course they know my name and know what I want. I pay for my order and then go sit and one of the bar seats along the windows. I love the place because it’s small and intimate but is a classic neighborhood breakfast/lunch spot that doesn’t need to do dinner because that’s not what they are. Tasteful neon signs glow in the front window, but aren’t overbearing or obtrusive to the dining experience. You simply feel that you’ve stepped back in time, and I love that.

I love sitting in the same spot at the window whenever I go there. I read articles on my phone and look out the window and just people watch. When the weather’s nice there are plenty of lovely folks carrying on with their weekend plans.

Breakfast/brunch arrives quickly with diner like speed, but with home cooked elegance. This is a lovely repose to charge up for the coming day.  It’s all perfect just like always. (I like consistency in my life.) When I’ve had enough, I throw a few singles in the tip jar for the cooks and head out.

I get a text from our part-time employee, Summer.

“I am so hung over.”

I send her a pic of a bottle of Jameson in a bicycle water bottle holder.

“LOL! My boyfriend Jax is bringing me a breakfast sandwich.

I know she won’t bail on work because she’s tough and doesn’t shirk responsibilities like some of our other past employees. (Or maybe she’s just been luckier than they have!) She’s a young girl, in college, good grades, smart girl, but what di I do when I was 20? Cut loose and partied hard. I didn’t go to college. I went to L.A. and rocked the fuck out for a few years.

I’ve got a few things that need to happen today, but none are pressing at the moment. I light a post breakfast celebratory cig and walk north on 19th. I get to JFK Blvd., and head east to 18th street, where I know there’s an entrance to Suburban Station and I can get down there on the weekends through this portal.

I need to hit the dollar store in Suburban. The Dollar Store is a glorious fixture of this fine city. I’ll tell you why. First of all, everything is a fucking dollar! Living in this city’s really expensive. If I need a bunch of cleaning supplies for the house, and I mean everything right down to sponges, and I go to one of the major chains? Easily the bill will exceed $40 to $50 to stock your house with the stuff you need.

You go to the dollar store.

$14 bucks. Maybe $11.

I shit you not, my friends.

I used to date a Wall Street lawyer back when I lived and worked in NYC. She ALWAYS shopped at the Dollar Store. She made great money but knew better than to get fleeced by the main stream brands. We would go to the dollar store and load up! She was smart. She worked hard for her money and she intended to keep it. I learned from her.

I go in there and I’ve only come for one thing. Two bottles of laundry detergent for the salon. I know we’re nearly out and there are towels to be washed! (I forgot to pick up chocolates for Cherie) I need to travel light. I could have gotten a shit ton of stuff there today, but I don’t feel like lugging a bunch of things around on my day off.

Must conserve my energy and strength for tonight’s events.

I get to the salon and Summer is there and she looks banged up.

“You look like shit. Is that in style now?”

“Fuck you. Hey, this is my boyfriend, Jax.”

Jax is a tall, nice looking boy who stands up and shakes my hand to greet me. I like that. He has manners. He has dark curly hair and caramel skin. Summer has already told me that he’s of mixed heritage. Maybe someday if we can end racism in this country we’ll all look this good.

“How’d you get so banged up last night? Where did you guys go?”

“A few places, Xfinity Live, and then Tavern on Broad.”

“What were you drinking at the end, Summer?”

“Tequila.”

“Mmm tough one.”

“I puked when I came in here this morning.”

“But you made it in and we’re open. How come you don’t look like this bedsheet with two cigarette holes burned in it, Jax?”

“Hey!”

“Kidding Summer.  She’s so sensitive!”

“I know, man. I’m good. I guess I can hang.”

I like this kid. Doesn’t lose his shit when his girlfriend gets blackout drunk on tequila and makes sure she gets home safe. Even brings her breakfast and spends the entire day with her at the salon.

I do like this guy. He even goes across the street to Chipotle and gets them both lunch. I assure her that it’s okay for her to sit down and eat. It’s off-season and the place is dead. I’ll handle the counter. No one comes in for the half hour they dine. In a bit she’s back at the counter and I’m chilling in the waiting area chatting with Jax.

“Summer. Look up the last time I tanned.”

She does and it’s been a week. I’ve been doing so good, but I’ve slipped off the bronze god wagon. I should tan but I don’t want to be red for tonight. But the more I think about it, Cherie won’t notice my new haircut, or if my face is red or if anything has changed. Because Cherie sees the inner me. For some reason she’s attracted to me. Well… I get some of that. I do have special powers that match with hers. Despite everything going on in both of our lives, it’s a match. I love her and it’s just wonderful to be next to her. To make her laugh, spend time with her, and be intimate.

I’m a big fan of “If it’s not broken don’t fix it.” I don’t even want to tinker with this glorious train that sails down the line with elegance and stability, despite the challenges ahead on the tracks.

I decide to tan, but I’ll do it a bit later. Cherie texts me that she won’t be coming to the city until 6pm. Which in reality means, 7pm because of delays, construction, traffic, parking, and whatever else could arise on her journey to see me.

Cherie is a saint.

I head into the tanning booth for the full 9 minutes. I plug my phone into the unit and listen to my music (Greta Van Fleet – Highway Tune) while I tan. I hop out after 8 minutes and get dressed.

It’s time for me to go. I’ve got things to do and Cherie will be down here in a few hours. I bid Summer and Jax farewell, and head out into the humid afternoon sun.

 

Is it time to say so long to swiping?

While dating apps are as popular as ever, they might not be the best way to meet a potential romantic partner. That’s the takeaway from a recent survey, which found that only 8% of people polled said that they hooked up with their significant other via online dating or a dating app.

RELATED:

What was the most common way for couples to meet? Through mutual friends, according to the survey, which was conducted by market research company ReportLinker. An impressive 39% of respondents replied that they met their spouse this way—just like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

Meeting at work came in second place, with 15% of respondents answering that they met their significant other at the office. Next on the list was in a bar or public area (12%), through a sport/religion/hobby events (9%), family (7%), and school (6%). Just 1% of poll takers said that they met their beloved at a speed-dating event.

The poll results cast doubt on the prospect of finding lasting love online, and instead relying on friends (or your local pub) to help you find The One. When asked what they thought was the main drawback of online dating, 30% of single respondents said that potential love interests on sites and apps were “not serious” and 21% said “more lies.”

RELATED:

Still, singles continue to search for a significant other digitally. Respondents who said that they were currently dating online had a profile up on an average of 2.4 websites.

The results were based on replies from 501 singles and 551 coupled-up people in the U.S. Speaking of couples, the survey also found that 6% of the people who described themselves as having a spouse were still registered on a dating website or app.

Sun Stories: Alexa – The New Hookup

Last year when I started at the salon, I loved so many girls that came in that I had to make a list. Alexa was in the top five on that list. I think I was so enamored of being around this bevy of fit young woman I had to somehow placed her near the top.

She would come into the salon and lament to Achilles. He was cold and indifferent to her. Treated her like trash. Apparently she used to work at the salon and maybe the separation was negative. But God she was beautiful. She would come in and she had a special arrangement. Achilles treated her like garbage and I never understood it.  She was so beautiful.

A fine boned beauty. Slender, pretty face and revealing clothes. Achilles doesn’t like girls acting or dressing seductively because he just thinks they’re whores nobody wants, but my man is old world and I respect that. I have sisters and a daughter. I get it. Alexa dresses like she’s asking to be seduced. Low cut tops. Tits hanging out, legs out, or just really minimalist clothing. I would actually be worried about her walking out of the old salon in what she was wearing. It was too much sex and too little clothing, but I loved her because of that.

Achilles would treat her like crap when she came in. This is a former employee, but he treated her like a whore. It’s a weird situation. She comes in and pays $17 for a packet of lotion and a session in the premium bed. It doesn’t make sense. If she’s a former employee she should get a deal on a package, but she always rolls in and does the same thing that is profitable for us but a loss for her.

She’s beyond pretty and I yield to the rules of the salon and give her all of the attention I can to a flower this pretty, like I do all of my favorites.

My co-worker Haley would say, “You just missed your girlfriend… and she was looking extra slutty today. You would have loved her.” (See: Haley – Lightning in a Bottle)

Even little Haley knows I love broken wing Alexa. But I can’t help it. I was new back then and I’m caught up in the flirty sexiness of the job. I’m fine now and they’re all just clients by now, we have a business to run. Work in a bank, all the money turns into lettuce if you’re honest.

I no longer keep LOVE lists or anything like that, I just want the place to run and the people we employ to do their job and move forward.

Butt Alexa comes in and it’s always an event to me, because I love her. And when I say ‘love’ I mean phicklephilly love her. Alexa is so beautiful. Slender and I don’t know. There are so many pretty girls that come in here with their charm and caramel thighs , but Alexa can just hang out and just gush sexuality.

I’m a dad and I love my little Lorelei and I wonder if Alexa’s dad ever thinks about his daughter’s power and the negative aspects of that power. He’s a cop that works homicide in this city. That is some serious shit. I hear their relationship is solid and I like that. I hope he’s the man she says he is. Because a father is the most important man in a young girl’s life ever. You fuck that up and you pay big time. Everybody pays.

I know it can’t be easy being a cop, I have a few friends that in law enforcement and it’s a tough life. You’re dealing with the worst part of humanity most of the time.

But I’m fascinated by Alexa. I love her beauty. I love that Achilles hates her. I love that she’s sexy as fuck. I like that I want to be her sex slave. (kidding, but I kinda would)

She can’t keep a man. Her visits with hickies on her neck are juvenile and moments of jealousy for me. I wouldn’t mark Alexa by bursting the capillaries in her neck I’d leave her with  a far deeper memory

I know I could do that.

I’m so nice to her when she comes in she actually says to Achilles that she thinks I’m in love with her. Of course Achilles balks, but we have to be cautious. This is a business. I’m not in love with Alexa but I know Im fascinated with this gorgeous, damaged girl. I love damaged girls. It’s what I do. I tried to fix Lisa, Michelle an Annabelle, and they all need to fix themselves but at least I tried to help.

Whenever Alexa comes in my eyes are watering she’s so beautiful. I’m always looking after her. Getting her water or whatever she wants. She will use a tingle lotion that will roast her and make her red and I’ll look after her. I’ll get her water and fan her and she must know that I’m just some old loser guy that will cater to her. I don’t even care, because there are really pretty girls that come in here and that’s fine, but when Alexa comes in here she brings the sex, and I see it and feel it. She is just one of these girls that can walk through life and just slay everyone in their path with lust and desire.

She just has that power and just does it. I have mad skills, but baby doesn’t even need them because she looks right and acts right and people just yield to that. I’m sure she’s making a fortune at her new bar job.

She’s back studying communications at Temple. Standard young girl shit here in Philly. But she did give me this reveal.

She says she left Pub Web in shitty North Philly and is now working as a bartender at Tir Na Nog in Center City. I hate that bar because it’s a sausage fest and just a rugby and soccer bar. It’s just a bunch of dudes yelling for sports and I’ll never go there.

but Alexa will be there on Wednesday and I’m off Wednesday so I should say hello.

She comes into tan and looks pale.

I tell her she looks pale and she does her usual deal. But buys a tingler pack and ends up red as hell. Poor baby. I tell her to wash up use make up and she’ll be fine.

She sits in th waiting area with 15 minutes to spare and does her makeup. I love watching this gorgeous girl do her makeup in front of me. I love girly things.  I try not to look but Alexa is so beautiful I can’t resist.

Her shoelaces are untied I tell her not to trip on her on feet and that I’m worried about her.

I ask her when she’s working and she says, Friday, Saturday night and Wednesday.

There’s my moment.

“I can come in Wednesday because I’m off.”

“Cool. I’ll give you free drinks.”

“You don’t have to do that, Alexa.”

“I tell all of my friends to come in and they don’t. You come in and I’ll give you free drinks and you just tip me.”

At that moment I knew I had just solidified another hookup in Philly that I so desperately needed because we’ve had a few fall off. I love getting new ones. I’ll be there Wednesday on my own or hopefully with a loved one that will appreciate free drinks!

I’ve loved Alexa from afar for a year and understand her struggle, but remained a huge fan for a year. She doesn’t worry about me falling in love with her because I’m already in a relationship, but I so appreciate that we have a new place to hit for the hook up!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am  & 12pm EST.
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Sun Stories – Maybe I Should Get a Little Color

So in anticipation of me sleeping with Cherie at the Club Quarters this Saturday, I decided I needed to get a little color. I get to tan for free since I work at the salon. I’ve been busy and really don’t think about tanning that much. Trish on the other hand goes on a weekly basis. She looks good. Even though she tans for free as well, she’ll pay $5 to upgrade to the best bed in the house. It’s an amazing piece of equipment. Aqua misting, three settings, (Basic, Mediterranean & Caribbean) and P2 vitamin D lamps, for a little extra zing.

So I figured if I’m going to be seen naked I should at least look tan. Of course Cherie doesn’t have to worry about that. It had been awhile, so when I opened the Thursday before our meeting, I decided to hop in one of the stand up units. We have two of them and they’re both powerful beds. The stand up units are 230 watts of power of UV light being radiated out of 52 bulbs that surround you for a full 9 minutes.

I plugged in my phone and put on some Alice and Chains, and rocked out for the full-time. But did I remember that I hadn’t been tanning in over three weeks? No, I did not. Did I take into account that these were some of the strongest beds in the house? No, I did not. I didn’t do any of those things.

So when I got out, my face looked a little red. By noon, I resembled something you’d order with drawn butter at Red Lobster. My face was super red. A few hours later when I was in the restroom, I saw that the rest of me was pink! As always I must be truthful with my readers. Even the glans of my penis was sunburned! It was all red and tender. I’m thinking, great. What if it’s too sore to do anything with Cherie on Saturday? (See photo below)

 

Oh, did you really think I was going to post a picture of my penis on my blog? Shame on you!

The next day I went to an interview with a potential employer to sell advertising. I felt compelled to explain my bright red face. So embarrassing. She said she thought it was just high blood pressure.

Thanks. Thanks a lot. I think they liked me though. I met the publisher, the owner, and one of their long-term salespeople. I’m hoping they make me an offer soon. Well, by the time you read this I will be working somewhere.

I hope this turns to tan by Saturday when I see Cherie, or I’m going to freak out.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am EST.

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Sun Stories – Colleen – You Better Pack My Fudge – Part Two

“Does he like peanut butter?

“I guess. I don’t know. Keep it pretty traditional. We’ll all be safer that way.”

Colleen comes in around 7pm. It’s raining here in Philly. Summer storms are passing through to quell the humidity. She’s dressed in a black bodysuit and looks lovely. We’re chatting and she is absolutely charming as always. She wants to go to the huge windows that overlook Walnut Street to watch as the populace run from the storm. Standing with her in the dark overlooking the night street is lovely. The music from the salon sets the soundtrack as we giggle as umbrellas blow out and couples find shelter. I want to kiss her in this moment. Not as a romantic gesture, but because she seems so present and real. Like an old friend.

We get back to counter and she gives me $35 cash. She promises profusely that she will fulfill the remaining aspect of this unique deal.

“I’m a woman of my word. You know that. What kind of flavors does he like? I’ll do whatever’s necessary.”

Achilles tastes are simple. Keep it to vanilla and chocolate for now. I don’t him weirded out by any exotic flavors.”

“Does he like peanut butter?

“I guess. I don’t know. Keep it pretty traditional. We’ll all be safer that way.”

“Okay. I’ve been at this a long time. I’ll make him up a nice couple of batches.”

“You wanna tan?”

“I’d love to tan.”

“Well based on your word, and the $35 cash I just dropped in the safe I think we should let you tan. But… because you’ve been so wonderful and I like you, I’m going to have to tan you under the house account tonight because technically your account hasn’t been loaded yet. So I’m taking a risk here without any fudge and I’ll let you tan tonight.”

“Yes! Thank you so much! I have to go to Jersey this weekend, and then I’ll be at the Fudge Kitchen on Monday and I’ll deliver on Tuesday.”

“I trust you. Colleen, you’ve tanned for years in shitty little 15 minute beds that really are inefficient and take forever to give you the bronze glow you so rightfully deserve. Since you’ve been so wonderful, I’m going to tan you under the house account. Although this deal will secure that you’ll have the All Access plan, I’m going to do something a little extra for you tonight because I can.”

“I don’t even know what these other beds will do.”

“They’ll tan you faster and better than those old clams you’ve been lying in for the past three years. But tonight, you get a little something special just to ensure that you know we’ve taken your offer very seriously.”

“Wha…”

“Come with me Colleen.”

I take her to room number one. That’s where the Megasun Alpha 6800 lives. It’s a premium bed held exclusively for premium members. This is a state of the art tanning unit.

I call it the Tropical Starship.

600 watts of UV in the face tanners. (More A than B) 180 watts in the tubes. P2 vitamin D lamps throughout that glow pink. A plug so you can hook up your phone and listen to your music in there. Air conditioning, including vents that blow toward your face to keep you cool. Three levels of tanning. Basic, Mediterranean, and Caribbean. Dark, darker and darkest. And the best part of all? Aqua misters that spray you with mist every three minutes to keep you feeling cool and sexy through the entire journey. The Alpha is THE experience.

New, this bed costs $35,000. More than your fucking car.

I walk her through what this baby will do and Colleen is nearly orgasmic. She promises again and again to keep her word on the fudge.

“See that you do.” I send her into her session.

Let’s see if she keeps up her end of the bargain.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day 8am EST.

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Sun Stories – Colleen – Oh Fudge! – Part One

“I think you should let her pay $35 and the rest in fresh fudge.”

“Fuck no. It’s $65 a month. Wait…did you say fudge?”

The game is afoot.

This pretty Irish girl came into the salon the other day. I sort of remembered from our previous location. I looked her up in the system and the memory came back to me.

“I remember you Colleen! We had some great conversations at the old place.”

“Yea, the new place looks great! I was wondering what happened to you guys and then I went online and saw your new address.”

“I haven’t seen you since last year. I know you were living in Jersey.”

“I got a job here in the city and bought a house in South Philly.”

“Congrats! Good for you!”

Shannon is a lovely, tall girl. There has a certain confidence and honor in her personality. Just old fasshioned goodness. I find that very attractive. She has a very social personality and a hard work ethic. Somebody like my sister April. Strong. A leader.

“Yea, so I want to tan and I know you are the only salon in the city that had the basic beds because I’m cash poor because I just bought a house.”

“Oooh… We didn’t bring the basic beds with us down here.”

“What?”

“Yea, we just didn’t have room for them.”

“It was like $35 for a month of tanning wasn’t it?”

“It was a great deal. I’m sorry.”

“What do you have now that’s a monthly package?”

“The All Access for $64.95.”

“65 bucks? You’re killing me. I really want to tan, but I’m just not in a position to lay out $65 a month right now.”

“I feel like you’re going to leave and I’m not going to see you again.”

“I just can’t right now.”

“Do you still work part-time at the Fudge Kitchen in Cape May?”

“I do. Best employee they’ve ever had. Why?”

“My partner, Achilles loves to eat. But his weakness is sweets. I literally can’t leave any candy here because he’ll eat it all like a piranha.”

“So what are you proposing?”

I take a risk here. “What if I ask him if you can pay your old rate of $35 a month but you get the All Access package that goes for $65 but you make up the difference in delicious fresh fudge?”

“I can do that. If you can make that deal with your partner, I swear to god I will bring you $35 tomorrow and I can get you the fudge by Tuesday.”

“Let me see what I can do.”

Shannon leaves and I promise to keep in touch with her. If this doesn’t fly, I know I’ll probably never see her again, and I really like her.

______________________________________________________________________________________

I decide to have a conversation with my partner, Achilles.

“So this girl Colleen came in the other night. She’s come here for years and has always tanned in the basic beds. But we don’t have them anymore. She recently moved to the city and got a great job at a law office and bought a house.”

“Is there a point to this story W?” (Achilles calls me by the first letter of my last name. He also doesn’t like long-winded stories or small talk. He’s a ‘get to the fucking point’ kind of guy)

“I think you should let her pay $35 and the rest in fresh fudge.”

“Fuck no. It’s $65 a month.     Wait…did you say fudge?”

The game is afoot.

“Yea, she’s doing well now but cash poor because of her new house, but she’s worked at the Fudge Kitchen in Cape May, NJ since she was a kid and keeps her hand in there to pick up a couple of bucks here and there when she can. She says she can make up the rest of the payment in delicious fresh fudge.”

He looks at me. He’s working it out. I watch his eyes.

“Thirty five cash money and two pounds of fudge.”

“Excellent! I’ll call her and tell her! Thank you! She’ll be so happy, and we’ll have retained a client! You can eat the fudge or share it or even give it away if you want!”

“Don’t be fucking giving away my fudge already W! That shit’s mine.”

“Okay…okay… I’ll broker the deal.”

“Worst case senario, she pays $35 cash and doesn’t come through with the fudge… No tanning package and I’m $35 richer. The dye is cast.”

Ruthless motherfucker, but that’s why I love him.

This is beautiful. I’ve been a million dollar producer in the banking industry and in advertising for the last twenty-five years and now I’m retaining clients using nothing but sumptuous treats.

I call Colleen from the house phone and leave a message.

“Hi Col, it’s Charles from the salon. I have some good news. Give me a call back.”

I’m working and tanning the ladies like I always do when the phone rings. I give her the details.

“Really? He went for it? I’ll be in tonight!”

Let’s see if Colleen holds up her end of this extraordinary bargain…

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am EST.

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Sun Stories: Summer – 2016 to Present – Night Shift Salon Girl

“How did 4 go from Dirty to Available and none of
us even touched it?”

In the Spring around April/May it’s our busiest time of year at the tanning salon. We absolutely have to have two people working at night. It gets so busy that one person just can’t handle it.

With all of the weddings, proms, graduations, formals, and people taking vacations and getting their “base” on for the summer we get inundated with clients.

So we need to hire somebody to help us out.

Summer, was that hire. I loved little Haley from last year. I’ve written about her. (Haley – 2016 to Present – Lightning in a Bottle) She was great. A fast, efficient worker who could move the clients and stay on top of our other duties.

I wished we could have gotten her back, but she had already secured a part-time job at a restaurant in town.

Summer has been a client of ours for over 2 years. She’s been coming here to tan since she was a freshman at Temple. Achilles suggested that we approach her to work here for the busy season. To me she was just another girl who came in here and did spray and UV tanning, but I suppose Achilles saw something in her.

He finally got a hold of her and got her schedule and it was a match. Monday through Friday, 3pm to 8pm.

You know when you have that co-worker that you really like, and they leave, and then they’re replaced by that new person, that you know will never be as good as your old co-worker?

Well that’s where I was. I’m sure we’ve all been there. But here’s the thing. I love little Haley. She’s great.

But Summer? She turned out to be amazing.

When I started at the salon it took me a week to learn everything. I had to have Achilles stay with me while I worked for days. I was so nervous about what I was doing and it felt like it took me forever to master all of the jobs and tasks of the place. I’m not kidding. I’m a smart guy, but I’m sure Achilles felt like he was dealing with someone who had fetal alcohol syndrome!

Summer? Crushed the whole place in two days.

Originally, Achilles was just going to have her run around and clean beds, but on day one she was learning the system, and every aspect of the job. By the end of the week this brown-eyed blonde was selling lotions and up selling clients to the premium packages.

I was very impressed and so was Achilles. Just a brilliant hire.

Summer told me she never had a job before. She just wanted to show her parents she could earn her own money while in school. She’s a finance major at the university. She also wants to learn Chinese so she can do international finance when she graduates college. Yea, this chick is smart as a whip.

She did such an excellent job we want to get her back again after the summer break is over. When we add the fitness area, we’d also like her to work there as a trainer.

The customers like her. She’s really fast and efficient. She’s got the personality that this place needs, and she loves tanning. She’s comfortable discussing any aspect of UV or spray tanning. She sometimes likes to do the darkest bronzer on herself just to be that dark. And since she goes to Temple, she knows a lot of our clientele already. They’re her classmates.

I came in once on a Friday, and was looking forward to working with her that night. I’m coming out from the back and I see Trish instead of Summer up at the counter.

“Where’s Summer?”

“She took the night off for her birthday.”

I actually started feeling angry that I had to work with Trish instead of Summer. That’s how much I liked working with her. (She just turned 20 and took the night off to celebrate her birthday)

Sounds like the perfect employee right? Comes in early. Stays late. Good attitude. Can stay two steps ahead of what’s going on at the salon. Just a dream employee.

Apparently, she’s also a whiz in school. All A’s and B’s. She has a heavy course load but she works her ass off studying and passing her tests. She’s like the perfect kid.

Or is she?

 

I think I was working with her the first week when she told me this story.

She was out one night in the city with her friends. They all carry fake ID’s these kids now. I don’t mean those shitty laminated fake State ID’s from my generation. The stuff they have now looks like the real deal. The technology is just incredible. They pay around $80 for what looks exactly like a Pennsylvania Driver’s License. It has all of their info on it but the only thing that’s different is their date of birth. By all accounts they are 21 years of age, the legal drinking age in this state.

When I was growing up and down at the shore in New Jersey, the drinking age was 18. I think that’s fair. I really do. They have since raised it to 21, and it’s probably that number everywhere now.

What I don’t understand about this law is, you can vote, buy a gun, work in porn, and serve in our country’s military all at the age of 18. But you can’t buy a beer.

It’s bullshit!

Anyway, All of these kids have these high-tech, fake ID’s now that really look exactly like the real deal and they are all getting into bars and nightclubs to party out. I’ve seen these fake IDs. Haley had one and showed it to me last year. Looked like it had been issues by the DMV. Really good.

So Summer tells me that she and her friend were out the other night bar hopping and just doing what college girls do. After awhile they end up down at Sugarhouse Casino. Summer walks in and of course she gets carded. The security guy looks at her ID and looks at her.

“Is this ID real?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“One moment.”

He goes in the back and what we’re assuming at this point he is running it through some sort of scanner.

He comes back out flanked by two security guards and the police. They tell her the ID is a fake and that she’s under arrest.

“What?”

Now normally if kids get caught trying to use a fake ID at a bar or nightclub and they’re discovered, they are turned away and/or the ID is confiscated. But this is a casino. A state regulated organization.

Attempting entrance to a casino with a fake ID is a felony that can carry with it a large fine and jail time.

Yea. This honor student could go in the can and end up with a felonious criminal record that would ruin her chances of ever having a career in the financial industry.

That is some serious shit.

I can’t believe she’s told me this terrible tale. I feel so bad for her because I really like Summer.

So she lawyers up. I tell her to wear something nice and demure to court, and act really, really sorry for what she did. Show real remorse. (Or at least put on her best performance of pretending she’s sorry) She thinks the charges are crazy and is still acting repugnant about the whole thing but agrees with me.

Her court appearance comes up and I tell her to text me when they reach a verdict.

I’m worrying about her all day. I’m praying that they won’t throw the book at her. She’s a young girl with no priors. Not even a parking ticket. She’s a straight A student, and she didn’t even get in and buy a drink or drop a single quarter in a slot machine. She simply attempted to enter the wrong place with a fake ID. I know it’s wrong and so does she, but we’ve all done it.

The text finally comes after 2pm that afternoon.

“You were right! $200 fine and a class. No felony. No jail time!”

What a fucking relief. I’m so happy for her. I hope my favorite employee and “little outlaw” has learned her lesson. I’ll write more as things happen in her life.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish Monday through Friday 8am EST.

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