30 Cute Ways to Make the Woman You Love Smile

Give these fun, creative and cheap ideas a try!

If you want to know how to be romantic and make a woman feel truly happy, it’s probably not as hard as you think. Unfortunately, many men still seem to struggle when it comes to knowing how to please a woman and make her smile.

If you’re attracted to a woman and you’re developing strong feelings for her, you’ve simply got to find way to let her know what’s going on in your mind and heart.

And what better way could there possibly be than coming up with some creative, sweet and fun ideas of things you can say or do for your girlfriend that will make her smile whenever she thinks of you?

We’ve made this list of sweet ideas to help guys figure out how to make a girl smile (which means you now have no excuse, gentlemen).

Here are 30 cute, fun and super cheap things to say or do for your girlfriend that are bound to make her thing you’re the most romantic guy on Earth.

1. Send her a cute goodnight text while she’s sleeping so she wakes up with a smile on her face.

2. Call her beautiful, instead of pretty or cute.

3. Buy her nice things.

4. Make sure she knows that you’re afraid to lose her.

5. Treat her the same around your friends as you would when you’re alone.

6. Be there when she needs you.

7. Have a date planned out so all she has to do is look good and show up.

8. Randomly send her a text saying you’re thinking about her.

9. While out, introduce her to the people that matter to you. Make sure she knows who they are and vice versa.

10. Make her a priority, not an option.

11. Spend the night watching movies and cuddling instead of going out with the guys.

12. During a date, help her with her coat. Pull out her chair. Open the door for her. Let her order her food first. Stay off your phone.

13. Back down in an argument, even though she may be wrong.

14. Ask her if she’s lost weight.

15. Respect her. Respect her family. Respect her friends. Respect her morals.

16. Slow dance with her even if there’s no music.

17. Sneak up behind her, hold her around her waist, kiss her softly on the neck and tell her you love her.

18. Support her ambition and love her flaws.

19. Walk into a room full of temptation and stay faithful.

20. Give her your hoodie when she’s cold.

21. Make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world.

22. Fight for her when she’s ready to give up, and hold her tight when she’s at her weakest.

23. Never let others influence anything when it comes to her. She wants you to be the reasoning for your actions.

24. Hold her tight in public just to show people that you’re proud to have someone like her.

25. Always take the first step. Don’t wait for her to start everything.

26. Bring her roses or flowers for no reason at all, not just when you’re in trouble or on Valentine’s Day.

27. Offer to give her a massage: foot, back, neck, shoulder, the whole body.

28. Avoid responding with “OK” or any short answer that makes it sound like you weren’t listening.

29. Save a photo of her as your phone background. That way she’ll know you’re thinking of her every time you look at your phone.

30. Promise never to let her go, and keep that promise.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Annoying Things Men Do That Women Misinterpret

One from one of my female readers…

One of the beautiful things about having been with and lived with a man for a long time now is that I’ve gotten an insight into the male mind. I haven’t just learned about the way my boyfriend thinks, but I’ve also learned about the way his friends think. Since I’ve been with my guy for so long now, and his friends come over all of the time, his buddies have started to see me as a safe person to open up to. They’ve put their guards down. They know I’m not going to go running to the women they’re dating and reveal their deepest most vulnerable secrets. They know I’m on their side. I’m a confidante. And, through that, I’ve finally come to understand certain male actions and words that, as a single woman, I totally didn’t get. It turns out some of the things some men do aren’t as bad as we think. I said some of the things that some men do—just to be clear. Here are things men do that women often misinterpret.

Cancelling after a bad day

In the early stages of my relationship, after a very bad day, my boyfriend would just cancel our plans to see each other and ask if we could reschedule. It would upset me—I’d think ,“Why won’t he let me be there for him? Is he trying to keep an emotional distance?”

They want to protect you

My boyfriend finally explained that he just tries to protect me from his bad moods. After a crappy day, he’s worried that he won’t be able to contain his angst and may accidentally be short with me or cold towards me. He’d rather just hide away until he can be his best self. He would, of course, love my comfort and company but he also knows it could be selfish, since he may just be a jerk.

Turning down sex

The first time my boyfriend turned down sex, I panicked. Big time. I thought, “This is it. It’s over. This was just a fling. The chemistry is gone and we have nothing else!” (Yes, I was a bit dramatic). But, I thought for sure, “Men always want to have sex so if he says no, he’s just not into me anymore. Period.”

They can feel emotionally distant

So, it turns out that men don’t always want to have sex. If they’re going through something difficult, they feel emotionally removed from their partners. When my partner is under a lot of stress, he doesn’t want to have sex because he feels weird/bad about being physically close to me when he knows he’s so mentally far away. He says it feels like a lie. That is actually rather considerate, when you think about it.

Not texting; then calling

It used to drive me crazy that I’d send my partner several texts throughout the day to which he would not respond, and then he’d just call me, saying nothing about my texts. “Is he trying to send me some message that he doesn’t want my texting him?” I wondered.

They’d rather call when they can be present

Men are just not as good at texting as women are. Men don’t like texting as much as women do. My boyfriend does, however, like receiving my texts—they make him smile, he says. But he’s not great at formulating the type of response my text deserves, in the little time he has to text. He’d rather just wait to talk until he can call me at the end of the day and be fully present.

Keeping certain friends away

There are some friends that my boyfriend kept away from me for the first couple years of us dating. I thought this was some way of him keeping a distance from me—a way of keeping our relationship casual. I also wondered if he just totally misbehaves himself with these friends, like they’re bad influences.

They don’t want us to be insulted

I eventually learned that my boyfriend can behave himself around these friends but they are, truth be told, his more, errr, brute-ish friends. They say and do things that might gross me out. He’s known them forever, and finds them endearing, but he also doesn’t want them accidentally insulting me.

Asking to watch TV instead of talk

At the end of the day, sometimes my boyfriend cuts me off when I’m asking lots of questions and says, “Is it okay if we just watch TV?” It was hard for me to not be insulted at first. Is that his way of saying I talk too much?

They’re just burnt out

Sometimes, men—and women—are just too burnt out at the end of the day to carry on a good conversation. They feel bad just pretending to engage in a conversation with someone they love, and would rather just watch television, and re-fuel for another time when they’re excited to talk.

Skipping our friend’s bday

Skipping a friend’s birthday, skipping a bar crawl, or skipping other social occasions with my friends is something my boyfriend does from time to time. I used to think it meant he just didn’t care about my friends.

They need to save money

I eventually learned that, the issue wasn’t necessarily that my boyfriend didn’t like my friends. My man was just trying to save money, and was too proud to tell me that. Whoops.

Not talking about their day at work

To me, exchanging stories about our day is a part of bonding. But sometimes my boyfriend says he would just rather not talk about his day at work. At first, I thought, “Well, that’s a pretty big part of your day. It’s weird you don’t want to share it with me.”

They don’t want our pity

It turns out that my boyfriend just has some things happen at work that he worries would make me sad. He’s had bosses and colleagues that haven’t spoken to him nicely or just generally gone through some rough situations. He didn’t want my pity, so he thought it was better to just not discuss his work.

Doing a 180 on feelings

Almost every one of my guy’s best friends—and my guy did this too—did a total 180 on their feelings for a woman. What I mean is that they were very reserved, cool, and holding back. You wouldn’t think they even liked the woman. And then suddenly, they were all in.

They were gathering information

Men and women develop feelings at very different paces. I feel like women are more comfortable with allowing their feelings to just naturally occur. Men, however, hoard their emotions until they’ve gathered enough information on a woman to feel safe showing all their emotions.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Are We Just Friends or Is He Interested? 16 Signs to Read His Mind

If you *and everyone else* are asking: are we just friends or is he interested? You need to know, and I am here to help you know the difference.

Are we just friends or is he interested, is probably one of the most popular questions I am asked. Most women are trying to figure out whether or not a guy is interested or just a friend.

What can I tell you? Sometimes, it’s easy to spot the signs. Other guys are tricky and like figuring out a Rubik’s cube. Who has the time for that?

Sure, you have amazing chemistry, and the conversation blows your mind. But you don’t really know what’s going on between you.

How to answer the conundrum: Are we just friends or is he interested?

The best way to figure it out? Ask him. I know it’s not the easiest thing to do, but you’ll have your answer. Maybe not the one you were looking for, but at least it’s an answer.

On the other hand, I know you may not be ready to make that move, and I get it. So, look at the signs instead. It takes longer, but you’ll figure out what’s going on.

It’s time to finally answer the question – are we just friends or is he interested? That way, you’ll know what to do. Let’s quit the game playing and find out the truth.

#1 Just a friend: He’s never jealous. I know I’ve said jealousy is an ugly trait and when it becomes extreme, it is. However, it’s always a way to see whether or not someone is attracted to you. If this guy doesn’t even bat an eye when you’re talking about other guys or when you go on a date, it’s clear he only sees you as a friend.

#2 He’s interested: he asks you out on a date. If he’s interested in you, his main goal is to take the friendship to the next level. He doesn’t want to be your friend, he wants more. So, he’ll ask you out on a date and see your response.

It’s a bold move, but he’s tired of waiting on the sideline. If he asks you out, he’s not looking for friendship.

#3 Just a friend: You’re like his sister. If he’s openly and publicly told people you’re like his sister, well, then it’s safe to say you are just friends.

No guy would say that publicly if they were truly interested in someone. That would let everyone else know they could make a move on you. Think of it like this, it’s the same as calling him your brother.

#4 Just a friend: He tries to hook you up with his friends. If he was interested in you, he would never try to set you up with his friends. It just doesn’t make sense. If he’s into you, he’ll do whatever it takes to avoid you and his friends from hooking up. But if he’s happy and willing to set you up with his friends, then it looks like that’s what you are, a friend.

#5 He’s interested: He’s touchy. Naturally, every guy is different, but usually, when a guy is interested in someone, they become more touchy. He may touch your shoulder or your lower back when you’re walking through a doorway. These are small and subtle moves, yet, they’re clues into how he feels about you.

#6 He’s interested: He’s always around. When we like someone, we want to spend as much time with them as possible. With him, it seems as if he’s always around. Whether a weekday or weekend, he pops by your place to hang out before work or meet up with you when you’re shopping at the mall. His main goal is to spend as much time with you as possible. 

#7 Just a friend: There’s no flirting. And no, you sneezing and him getting you a tissue isn’t flirting. If you feel more like brother and sister than anything else, it’s safe to say there’s not much going on in the romance department. If you’ve flirted with him and he’s clearly uncomfortable, he’s not into you.

#8 Just a friend: He’s awkward when people think you’re a couple. The minute someone asks you if you are a couple, you can feel him getting weird. He’ll step away from you and make this face. I know, really mature. If he did like you, he would make some joke and seem really happy as he weighs your reaction.

#9 He’s interested: He texts you a lot. He doesn’t text you once in a while, he texts you all the time. Whether it’s a meme or YouTube clip, he’s always texting you, making sure you stay connected. You may notice he uses winky and kissy emojis as well. Guys don’t really use emojis, so it’s a pretty good sign he likes you. 

#10  He’s interested: He wants to hang out one-on-one. Maybe he doesn’t like to hang out in large groups, but let’s get real. If he’s pushing to hang out one-on-one, it’s probably because he wants to spend alone time with you. If you’re into him, then keep these hangouts going, eventually, they’ll progress into more.

#11 Just a friend: He mentions people he’s into. Yeah, this isn’t a great sign. Usually, if a guy is into you, they never bring up other people. But if he’s just a friend, he’ll bring up other people he’s interested in without hesitation. Why would he hide it from you? It’s not like he’s interested in you. I know, it stings, but it’s the truth.

#12 He’s interested: He’s all over your social media. Every post, photo or video, you put on Instagram or Facebook, he likes or comments on it. He’s literally the most active person on your social media. Now, why would that be? Oh! I know this one! It’s probably because he’s into you. If not, he wouldn’t make the effort to comment or even like your posts. 

#13 He’s interested: He values your opinion. Whether it’s buying a jacket or discussing a job interview, he always asks for your opinion. If he wants your opinion, it’s because he wants you to be included in making decisions. He trusts you and holds your opinion highly. Now, that only happens when a guy likes someone.

#14 Just a friend: He never made a move. He’s known you for years, literally years, and he’s never made a move on you. And you have been in situations where things could have gone further, but nothing happened. If a guy has an opportunity to make a move, he’ll make it. He won’t let it slip away.

#15 He’s interested: It’s all about eye contact. When he’s around you, his eyes are locked on you. Eye contact is an amazing way to figure out whether or not he’s into you. If a guy is just a friend, he won’t be making too much eye contact with you. However, if he’s interested, his eyes will be all over you.

#16 Just a friend: He’s not that into your life. Sure, he asks how you are and what you’re doing, but he’s not that into what’s going on in your life. He forgets the details, he doesn’t really ask many questions – these aren’t signs of interest. If he was interested in you, he would try to know everything about you.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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What Does A Man Mean When He Says He Wants To Take Things Slowly?

Guest writer….

Today’s “Dear David” comes from a lady named Sara who has run into a common, but confusing situation for women. Let’s see if we can help her out, shall we?

 

She says…

“Dear David, I’ve just started seeing this guy. We’ve both been single for a few years, and it’s so nice having that warm, excited feeling my tummy when I’m with someone. I’m confused though. Last night he told me that he really likes me, and wants to take things further, BUT that he wants to take things slowly. What does that mean?”

 

David Says…

What does a man mean when he says he wants to take things slowly?

If I tell you I want to take it slow, it might only mean I want to see you one or two days a week. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be intimate with you. It doesn’t mean I’m going to start seeing other women. It just means I’d like to see where it goes, spend some time to get to know you, and take the time to communicate with you and keep moving forward gradually.

Another guy could say he wants to take it slow, and mean he just wants to see you at the weekend. Another guy could say it and mean he wants to date you, but he doesn’t want to sleep with you yet. Other guys might mean they just don’t want to jump into anything serious like moving in together too quickly.

There’s no one size fits all definition for what “taking it slow” really means.

So if a man says he wants to take it slow, you have every right to ask him what that means to him. Ask him up front. Tell him you’d like to know what it means to him. Let him know you respect him, and that you want to make him feel comfortable so you need to know what he personally expects.

You see, you build relationships on communication. Don’t be afraid to ask men to clarify what they mean. If you don’t you’ll end up speculating about what he wants. You’ll ask your friends about it, or you’ll email me. Taking it slow can mean so many different things you need to ask the source.

We’re so afraid to communicate and ask each other what we mean, and to me, clarification is the key to building any kind of trust in a relationship.

When you ask a man to clarify what he means, you’re setting the foundation for good communication in the relationship. You’re allowing open communication between two people. You’re also allowing two people to get comfortable together, so they feel they can talk about anything. You’re also showing him you’re happy to go at his pace.

I want you to read this again, and I want you to read it slowly. That way the next time a guy says he wants to take it slow, you won’t panic, and you won’t try to guess what he means, you’ll simply ask him. It’s always better to ask directly than try to guess how he’s feeling. Of course, if you want an in-depth understanding of how men think and feel, you should pick up my popular program, “What Men Desire.” 

Why does dating seem so hard? How are you supposed to meet and flirt with men? Watch my FREE video, “How to Speak Man” to STOP speculating and START winning his heart!

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Women are happier without children or a spouse, says happiness expert

We may have suspected it already, but now the science backs it up: unmarried and childless women are the happiest sub-group in the population. And they are more likely to live longer than their married and child-rearing peers, according to a leading expert in happiness.

Speaking at the Hay festival on Saturday, Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioral science at the London School of Economics, said the latest evidence showed that the traditional markers used to measure success did not correlate with happiness – particularly marriage and raising children.

“Married people are happier than other population sub-groups but only when their spouse is in the room when they’re asked how happy they are. When the spouse is not present: fucking miserable,” he said.

“We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that science and just say: if you’re a man, you should probably get married; if you’re a woman, don’t bother.”

Men benefited from marriage because they “calmed down”, he said. “You take less risks, you earn more money at work and you live a little longer. She, on the other hand, has to put up with that and dies sooner than if she never married. The healthiest and happiest population sub-group are women who never married or had children,” he said.

Dolan’s latest book, Happy Ever After, cites evidence from the American Time Use Survey (ATUS), which compared levels of pleasure and misery in unmarried, married, divorced, separated and widowed individuals. The study found that levels of happiness reported by those who were married was higher than the unmarried, but only when their spouse was in the room; unmarried individuals reported lower levels of misery than married individuals who were asked when their spouse was not present.

Other studies have measured some financial and health benefits in being married for both men and women on average, which Dolan said could be attributed to higher incomes and emotional support, allowing married people to take risks and seek medical help.

However, Dolan said men showed more health benefits from tying the knot, as they took less risks. Women’s health was mostly unaffected by marriage, with middle-aged married women even being at higher risk of physical and mental conditions than their single counterparts.

Despite the benefits of a single, childless lifestyle for women, Dolan said that the existing narrative that marriage and children were signs of success meant that the stigma could lead some single women to feel unhappy.

“You see a single woman of 40, who has never had children – ‘bless, that’s a shame isn’t it, maybe one day you’ll meet the right guy and that’ll change’. No, maybe she’ll meet the wrong guy and that’ll change. Maybe she’ll meet a guy who makes her less happy and healthy, and die sooner.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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8 Beautiful Ways to Tell Someone You Love Them — Without Words

Telling someone you love them is easy but showing them is harder.

Sure, it’s easy to say “I love you” to someone you love. But, have you ever considered ways to tell someone you love them without using words?

Are you falling in love? Isn’t it wonderful? Every day you share with your person is a new and wonderful day. You hope that you feel like this forever.

When you love someone, it’s important to tell them. But, it’s also important to put actions behind your words so that your person not only hears that you love them but they also feel it!

You can learn how to tell someone you love them without saying the words “I love you” (but you still should, every now and then).

With that said, here are 8 beautiful ways to say “I love you” without saying a word.

1. Love them as they want to be loved

One of the best tools in a successful relationship is Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages. He has devoted his website and his book to his theory that there are 5 languages of love — 5 ways people can express and receive love: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Giving of Gifts.

For each person, one of those things is the thing that makes them feel the most loved when they are done unto them. When a partner tries to love them using a different love language, they don’t feel loved.

My love language is Quality Time — I feel loved when someone is truly present with me, listening to me, focusing on me. My ex-husbands’ love language was Physical Touch — he felt love when I was holding his hand, hugging him or, yep, that too.

Unfortunately, the language that we spoke best with each other was Acts of Service. We did things for each other, like changing the oil in the car or going to the grocery store. Stuff got done but neither of us felt loved.

If you’re curious about your love language, you’ll find a short quiz on the website that you and your partner can both take so you can start loving each other in a way that will work.

2. Take care of them but let them return the favor

Everyone enjoys taking care of someone but many of us are really bad at letting people take care of us.

One of the best answers to the question of how to tell someone that you love them without words is to let them take care of you.

Think about how good it feels when you do something nice for someone. How it connects you to that person and makes you feel good about yourself.

Imagine how good it would feel for your partner to do something for you. So, let him! Even if you can do it for yourself, let him do it. Let him feel good about helping you. It is an excellent way to show someone you love them — to let them show you the same.

3. Hear them

For women, an important part of being loved is feeling connected. Men often don’t understand what that means, to be connected, for a woman.

I have a client who wants his girlfriend to know that he loves her. He thinks that the best way to do that is by making sure they have good memories. So, he arranges trips and dinners and other expensive things, hoping to create wonderful memories.

His girlfriend has expressed her dismay that he is spending so much money on her and he brushed it off, telling her that she was worth it. She wasn’t happy.

I suggested that he tell her that he recognizes and respects her concerns and that he has arranged some free things that they can do together to build memories. She was happy.

For women, being seen, heard, understood, and acknowledged is an important part of feeling loved.

4. Share their passions

I have a client whose boyfriend loves working on cars. Loves it. He worked on cars with his father and he does so now with his son and he would rather work on cars than just about anything.

This love was driving my client crazy because he wanted to spend time with her but also wanted to work on his car. So, I suggested a compromise.

I suggested that she try to get interested in some aspects of his car work and learn from him so that she could spend time with him. In exchange, he would be willing to spend some time with her, doing things other than car work.

By supporting your partner’s passions you are letting them know that you respect and love who they are as a person. And sulking in a corner because you don’t like what he is doing isn’t going to buy you any love at all.

5. Support them always

Sometimes, our partner comes up with some pie-in-the-sky idea that is the new driving force in their lives. It’s exciting and new and all they want to talk about.

And you’ve probably thought your partner’s new idea is crazy.

I remember in college my soccer-playing, skiing, manly-man of a boyfriend turned to me after a dance performance and announced that he wanted to be a dancer. I actually laughed in his face. This was 30 years ago and I still remember the hurt look in his eyes. He never became a dancer.

To this day, I wish I had supported him. That’s what people who love each other do for each other. He might never have become a dancer but having the person who loved him believe in him would have been such a gift. Even better would have not being on the receiving end of my derision.

So, support them. No matter what.

6. Don’t be critical

You know how you feel when you go to visit your in-laws and your mother-in-law makes some passive aggressive, disparaging comment about something you did. You know how awful that makes you feel. And you don’t even really like your mother-in-law.

Imagine what your partner, who loves you, must feel like when you are critical of them.

I have a client whose wife gives him the once over every time they are headed out the door. She tells him if his hair is out of place or if his shirt is right or if he is carrying the right bag for the task ahead. And while she is quick to say, “Your pants have a hole in them”, she never says, “You are perfect today, honey. Thank you.”

My client at first tried to anticipate what his wife might want but as time went on, he only felt resentment towards her criticism. He actually started not only making choices that he knew would antagonize her but he ignored whatever she mentioned at the door.

So, be careful not to be critical. If you have something to say, say it with love. And if it doesn’t need to be said, don’t say it. Life will go on if his hair isn’t just right.

7. Don’t take things personally

There is nothing more insidious in a relationship than not forgiving someone for a wrong. And, for some reason, couples who love each other are really, really good at not forgiving each other. If someone does something wrong nothing they can do will make up for that wrong. And that wrong will be played out verbally, over and over, forever.

People are only human. We do things that hurt people. Rarely do we do things to hurt someone on purpose. And yet, in relationships, we often take the thing that someone does to us so personally that we refuse to believe that they didn’t set out to hurt us. And that is unforgivable.

I have a client whose partner was so late getting home one night that he missed a date they had planned. He was delayed at work and then got stuck in traffic and it was a disaster. She took it personally.

“If you loved me”, she said. “You would have gotten home on time.” And she truly believed what she said.

The reality is that he does love her. He just didn’t allow enough time. And he blew it, but he does love her. And it’s important for her to understand that. And it makes it easier to forgive. He was late. He didn’t plan well. He blew it. And he does love her.

Of course, another piece of forgiveness is that the wrong-doer must apologize for the hurt caused, because therein lies the issue that will carry forth forever — the hurt. Not so much the actions but the resulting feelings.

So, don’t take things personally. And apologize for the hurt. Forgive and move on.

8. Never show contempt

If there is one thing that kills love, it’s contempt. Do anything that you can to keep it out of your relationship.

Contempt seems to rear its ugly head when wrongs fester, when people don’t forgive, and when being critical is the norm and respect is lost. Contempt manifests itself with derisive comments about your partner, comments about who they are as a person.

My ex-husband had a really hard time getting things done around the house. I told him, over and over, that if he was my employee I would fire him. And I wouldn’t say it in a loving way. I would say it dismissively, almost with a wave of my hand. I can only imagine how it must have felt to be on the receiving end of my contempt.

Therapists say that when they see contempt in a relationship they know that it’s close to over. So, if you find yourself acting contemptuously STOP, assess and figure out what needs to be done.

Don’t let contempt kill love. Because it will.

Now that you know how to say “I love you” with actions rather than words, you can start showing your partner exactly how you feel about them.

Hug them and kiss them and have sex with them and tell them that they are wonderful and hang out with their friends and visit their mother. All of those things are an excellent way to show someone you love them.

But they will have a hard time accepting your love if you aren’t willing to forgive them, if you can’t support them, and are constantly critical of them. Back up your kisses with words and actions and they will know that you are the one for them.

 

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Kita – Chapter 35 – Baby’s Back! – Part 1

It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I was working at the salon as usual. I had just opened the doors for business.

I was coming up the hallway from the back. Morning sunlight is pouring through the huge windows in the front of the salon where the gym is located.

I see a petite silhouette standing at the front counter. I’m not wearing my glasses so I can’t see clearly the identity of this person. But as I get closer…

“Kita! You’re back! (Hugs) I didn’t think you’d be back until Monday!”

“Yea. My train was at 7am this morning!”

“Well I’m happy you’re back.”

She’s munching on an apple as we chit-chat about our collective holiday experiences. Hers seemed fun with her sister and the family, mine just hanging with friends. Then out of nowhere:

“So I texted Steve.”

Steve is the guy who was her rebound off former boyfriend JR. She hung out with him for a month or so. He never took her on a proper date. They just hung out at his place or she would just sit around and watch him work on his truck. She kissed him but no sex. (So that’s good)

(Sigh) “How’d that go?”

“I told him I still cared about him and he said the same and that maybe we can get together when I get back to Philly.”

“Good luck with that. Don’t reach out to him again. He needs to take the step and pursue you. You’re the prize Kita. Against better judgement you’ve reached out to him again. Now that the connection is there it’s up to him to make the move now and set up a proper date.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

“Then he’s really not interested in seeing you again.”

“Okay. He always says he’s really busy with work and things are crazy.”

“People say things like that to get out of stuff, Kita.”

“Why can’t people just be straight forward and say what they want?”

“Because you’re straightforward, forthright and honest and you want everybody else to be like you. It just doesn’t work that way I’m afraid.”

“But that sucks.”

“People suck sometimes.”

“I hate boys.”

“Then date men.”

She looks up at me and grins ever so slightly. I look away.

“Can I have my lotion? I guess I’ll go tanning.”

“That’s all we do here! Where do you want me to send you?”

“Send me…”

“Send you where?”

“Send me to Room Two.”

I set her up in the system and the song “You Send Me” pops into my musical brain. She tosses the apple into the fresh plastic bag that I have just put in to line the waste basket this morning, and heads to her room.

I’m walking past the basket and see there is still plenty of flesh (mesocarp) on that apple. So I pick it up and start eating it. (The bag is clean and there is no other objects in the bag. Just the apple)

I don’t bite into that apple because I’m hungry. I don’t savor every sweet, delicious bite of this discarded piece of fruit because I need to eat more healthy. I don’t eat out of the trash can like a homeless person. I eat that apple because Kita has just had her sweet mouth on it. Her plump, soft lips and tongue have been all over this lucky bit of fruit. I know to some of you this may seem a little gross, but that apple was delicious! It was better in my twisted mind because Kita had her hot mouth all over it. There’s something sexual about the whole, sharing food/biblical/forbidden fruit thing working in my mind. So I ate that apple right down to the seeds and stem. It’s like I was devouring a part of Kita.

Or Kita herself.

 

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