10 Signs You’re With A Good Man

Here is the list of signs he’s a good man and how this type of guy will act while in a relationship.

1. He’s always honest with you.

When building a foundation for a happy, healthy relationship, a good man will understand that honesty is always the best policy.

 

2. He stands by you, no matter what.

When a man commits his love and his time to a woman, there are no stipulations or circumstances required. There will be good times and there will be not-so-good times. There will be challenges and unexpected situations that arise. But he will stay by your side and be your teammate through it all

 

3. He never lets you forget how much he loves you.

I cannot tell you how many conversations I’ve had with women who tell me that there is no affection in their relationship. The man in their life does not make them feel loved, wanted, or appreciated. This is a profoundly important piece of the puzzle: a good man will always remind you how much you mean to him.

I understand men can be less communicative or affectionate than women are, but this does not excuse the severe lack of effort put forth by our generation. If someone truly loves you, you will know it and feel it. If they don’t, you’ll be wondering all the time if they do.

 

4. He always supports you.

Regardless of whether you want to go back to school after 20 years to get your Master’s degree, start a singing career, or stay at home to raise a family, a good man will always support you and what you want out of your life. He will never discourage you or make you feel as though you can’t do what you set out to do.

He will be beside you every step of the way, cheering on your victories and comforting you during your defeats.

 

5. He works to gain your trust.

A good man will want you to be comfortable and confident in your relationship. The very cornerstone of this is being able to trust someone, and he will realize that. Without trust, there is no foundation for love or respect.

He will understand that trust is not just handed over to someone — it has to be earned, and then it has to be kept.

 

6. He always makes you feel beautiful.

He will understand that making you feel beautiful does not just mean saying the words to you. It will mean truly making you feel beautiful. In the ways he looks at you, touches you, and treats you. He will notice details when you put effort into your appearance and remind you how attractive he still finds you even when you don’t.

A good man will understand that whether you are in your sweatpants on the couch or in your evening gown heading to a gala, when you love someone for who they truly are, everything about them becomes beautiful.

 

7. He makes you feel safe.

I have always said that I believe one of the best compliments a woman can give a man is telling him that she feels safe around him. Regardless of how attracted she is to you or how funny she thinks you are or how much money you have, if a woman cannot sleep soundly by your side at night, none of it matters.

 

8. He’s always trying to improve himself.

Whether it’s learning new things, developing a new skill set, reading a new book or watching a documentary, a good man who prides himself on continuous self-improvement will always be intellectually challenging you and keeping your attention. He will be doing these things for himself, but the added benefit will be the positive impact it has on your relationship.

 

9. He’s never abusive.

Perhaps the most important point of all. Whether it be mentally, emotionally, or physically, a good man will never even think about being abusive towards you or harmful in any way. If this happens to you, please have the courage and respect for yourself in order to talk to someone or walk away immediately. No good person would ever act like this and it will not get better on its own.

 

10. He opens up to you.

It can be difficult for some men to express their emotions, fears, and even inner-most desires, but having the right woman in our life often helps to open those doors. A good man, while understanding, of course, that some things are to be kept private, will not hide things from you or bottle up his feelings knowing it will cause tension and frustration.

 

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What Is A Relationship Supposed To Be Like?

So I was with this girl for 2 years and obviously I learned a lot, but what has me lost is what I thought relationships were supposed to be? I think I might have been too controlling, and I was wondering if it was wrong of me to basically treat it like we were married when we weren’t?

I always thought when you found someone special, even though there are loads of others in the world, you’d work at the relationship and commit to each other.

If I came across another person that made me feel something for them, out of respect and love for my partner I’d step away and keep distance with the person and go back to my partner. I’d consider my partner in my future decisions like career goals and if I moved, not expecting them to come with me or change their life around, but holding out the option.

I guess I’m just confused here as to what’s the point of being with people anymore? I guess it’s not to have a partner in crime, as opposed to just experiences of pain and holding back feelings and honesty and emotions. It’s fickle and fragile and even if they say they love you, they won’t sacrifice a damn thing for you.

But I shouldn’t expect them to right? So what shall I do? Should I not date anymore? Am I wrong now? I feel so silly for thinking and believing this way. Love is not a special emotion and an act of devotion and commitment? It’s not kindness and sacrifice and compromise?? It’s not honesty?? It’s an experience?

How do I prepare myself for a world of dating?? I hated my past relationships so much because I had to hold back every part of myself with them. I couldn’t trust them or love them. So what do I do now?

What are relationships supposed to be like? Is love more of an experience and not commitment? If you just date someone for the fun they bring you, and then toss them aside when it’s too hard and another opportunity arises, how do I prepare myself for a life like that?

 

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8 Super Things The Happiest Couples Do Before Bed

Taking the time to reconnect with your partner at night can set a positive tone for the following day.

Your bed should be a place for sleeping, sex, cuddling, and conversation — not for scrolling mindlessly through your Instagram feed.

We live in a busy world and between work, kids, bills and other daily stressors, many couples struggle to find time to connect.

That’s why it’s so important for couples to make the most of whatever alone time they have together ― whether it’s an hour or just 10 minutes. We asked relationship experts to tell us what the happiest couples do before bed to keep their bond strong.

Here’s what they had to say below.

They exchange “I love yous.”: “Despite all the hassles of the day, the quirks and annoyances you experience from one another and ominous feelings about the day ahead, make the effort to let your partner know they are loved. And rather than just heave it out with your last sigh of the night, say it like you really feel it.” ― Ryan Howes, psychologist

They don’t try to settle arguments that aren’t easily resolvable: “It may not seem logical, but happy couples don’t actually settle disagreements before going to bed. We’ve all heard the adage, ‘do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,’ but it’s actually misunderstood. Trying to address heavy subjects, especially those you disagree on, at the end of the day when you’re both tired and short on patience is not smart. Too many couples make the mistake of starting fights at this time of day when they should be building connection ― not creating division.” ― Smith

They go to bed at the same time if possible: “Too many couples go to bed at different times, leading disconnected lives in the evening after already having spent all day apart. Happy couples, however, are intentional about coming back together at bedtime and reconnecting, if only for the few minutes of brushing teeth and getting under the covers. Going to bed together builds connection and provides opportunity for more intimate connecting.” ― Kurt Smith, therapist who specializes in counseling for men

They unplug from their phones and other devices: “We live in a wired world, and more often than not, this takes away from the time couples could spend connecting through dialogue, affection or intimacy. What’s more is that when your partner is on their phone, you feel like they’re not in the room and are somewhere else instead. In my therapy practice, couples who become aware of this intrusiveness sometimes create general rules such as ‘no phones past 9 p.m.’ or ‘no phones in the bed’ to counter such dopamine-inducing but oxytocin-suppressing social media habits. This can really set a couple up for feeling close throughout the entire next day.” ― Kari Carroll, couples therapist

They prioritize getting a good night’s sleep: “Although this isn’t very romantic, beyond the usual advice ― i.e. kiss goodnight, have sex, and say, ‘I love you’ ― getting a solid night’s sleep fosters good mental health, which in turn, makes people more emotionally available during the day. If sleep is hard to come by, get professional advice to develop good sleep habits.” ― Michele Weiner-Davis, therapist and author of Divorce Busting

They keep the kids out of the bedroom: “Your bedroom should be a sanctuary for the two of you. Although nightmares and illnesses might trigger children to climb into bed with you, in general, if intimacy and connection is your goal, encourage children to stay in their own rooms. Couples need privacy and boundaries to stay connected.” ― Weiner-Davis

They take a few minutes to practice gratitude: “Gratitude has been shown to have a wonderfully positive effect on mood and mindset, so why not share that together? Whether it’s something specific you appreciate about one another or a positive experience from the day, share something you’re thankful for to end the day on a bright note.” ― Howes

They set aside time to chat about the day and open up about their feelings: “The happiest couples regularly discuss the external stressors in their life and allow their partner to vent often. This doesn’t mean going into negativity overload all evening, but it does mean setting aside 15 to 30 minutes to unwind and lean into the relationship by showing support for the other relationships and experiences in your partner’s life. In my practice, I help couples listen to their partner’s stresses without feeling the need to take them on or problem-solve. Their partner tends to be appreciative of this opportunity and just feeling understood empowers them to be ready to tackle the next day’s stresses.”

 

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Common Mistakes Women Make in a Marriage

Common Mistakes Women Make in a Marriage

What is it about the whole “blame game”? It’s so easy to fall into this destructive habit and often as women and wives we can find ourselves pointing fingers even with our eyes closed. But if we just take a moment to think carefully and to be really honest, we will soon see that as wives we make mistakes too. Here are some of the most frequent ones:

1. Giving the children first place

We all adore our children; that’s clear. But there can be a problem when hubby gets pushed aside in favor of the little ones. It won’t be long before he gets the message that he’s just not as important anymore if you consistently choose to spend time and energy on the children, putting their needs over his and your own. Remember, in a few short years the children will be grown and fly out of the nest and then you and your husband will be alone together again.

2. Seeing your husband as another child

A small step further down the slope from putting children first is treating your husband as another child. Nothing could be further from the truth. Maybe this makes you feel like “supermom” but it is very disrespectful towards the man who in fact fathered your children. No matter how much your husband’s parenting skills may be lacking in your opinion, seeing him as your second or third child is not going to improve matters at all. Sometimes the shoe can be on the other foot and the wife is treated by her husband like another child in the home. This is usually a sign of abuse and unless resolved usually ends unhappily.

3. Not setting boundaries with in-laws

In-laws are a controversial topic at the best of times. If firm boundaries are not set right from the start, untold havoc can be wrecked in a marriage. Remember, first and foremost you married each other and not each other’s families. Yes, families and parents will always have an extremely important role in our lives, but they also have their place and should not be allowed to come in and encroach on areas of privacy and decision-making which should belong to the couple alone.

4. Not learning to fight correctly

Lack of conflict resolution skills is perhaps one of the number one reasons for the disintegration of marriages. Whether it is stonewalling or yelling uncontrollably or both, these kinds of behaviour can be extremely corrosive to any marriage. Learning to fight right is a skill that needs to be honed with commitment and determination if you want your marriage to thrive. It requires time, effort and willingness on both sides to sit and talk through difficulties, with respect and love.

5. Needing to be in control

This is a tough one – who’s the boss?! Often it’s the little everyday things (as well as the bigger things) where we women often seem to need that last word. Why is it so hard to admit when he may have a better idea? If we would just step back and allow that man we married to make those wise decisions of which he is probably very capable we may be in for some pleasant surprises. It is worth remembering, marriage is not the place to compete, but rather to complete one another.

6. Not meeting intimacy needs

This can swing both ways, but generally as a wife there can be times in your marriage, especially with young children, when you feel pretty exhausted. The last thing you may feel like is making love, while for your husband it may quite likely be the first thing. Within reason, if this becomes a regular pattern of consistently not meeting his intimacy needs, it can mean a slow death for your marriage.

7. Not making an effort to look good

After several years of marriage, it can be easy to settle into a comfortable routine of just pulling on the first and easiest outfit, even staying in your pj’s all morning if you can. We all know that inner beauty is what counts most, but don’t underestimate the value of looking your best on the outside too. This is one more way of showing respect to the man you love, that you care enough to make yourself look pretty for him – and in most cases he is sure to appreciate it.

As you may notice, most of these mistakes described above involve “omissions” or good things we have not done, and then there are also “commissions” or hurtful things we have done. So yes, marriage is hard work and we need to constantly work on doing less of the harmful things, and more of the helpful. If ever there was a worthwhile reason for hard work, it’s marriage.

 

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7 Things You Should Never Feel Obligated to Do in a Relationship

If you’re in a relationship, it’s pretty easy to assume that you genuinely want to be a good girlfriend.

No one enters into a relationship hoping to be mediocre, so it’s understandable that you want to do everything in your power to make your significant other happy.

Cher and Christian From Clueless

(Clueless via Paramount Pictures)
However, sometimes the desire to be the perfect shoulder to lean on for your S.O. can leave you feeling pressured to do things that leave you feeling uncomfortable. As fun as relationships might be, it’s also important that you stay true to yourself and shy away from anyone who would push you too far out of your comfort zone.

We’ve definitely been there, and we’re here to help! Keep scrolling for seven things you should never feel obligated to do in a relationship.

 

Hang Out With Them at All Times
Being in a relationship is fun and exciting for many reasons, including having a built-in buddy to hang with pretty much whenever you want. As enjoyable as it might be to spend time with your S.O., you should never feel like you have to spend all your time with them. Other activities and other people are going to demand your attention, and you should be able to participate in other aspects of life without feeling guilty that your S.O. can’t be included in every second of your day. If your S.O. is pressuring you to spend every spare moment by their side, it might be time to say goodbye and search for someone who understands that there is more to your life than your romantic relationship.

 

Sacrifice a Hobby For Them
Hobbies are such a crucial part of what makes you unique and special. They are not only how you to choose to spend your free time, but they are also the source of many friendships and important relationships. Therefore, you should be searching for an S.O. who supports the things you love and would never ask you to give them up. There are many reasons you may feel pressured to give up your favorite activities. Maybe your S.O. thinks dance is boring, or maybe they’re upset that you’re spending all your time at soccer practice. Whatever the reasoning might be, you should never feel like you have to give up something you love to maintain your relationship. Hobbies are part of what makes you so extraordinary, and if your S.O. can’t see that, then someone else will.

Spend Money on Them
Navigating the “who pays for who” battle in relationships is tricky, so it’s important to remember that this rule goes both ways. Treating your S.O. to a nice dinner or buying them a pricey birthday gift is a sweet gesture, but you should never feel like you have to spend money in order to make them happy, just as they should never feel obligated to spend money on you. If you have yet to receive your most recent paycheck or you’re feeling a little strapped for cash in general, it’s okay to explain to your S.O. that you need to take a step back from spending for a while. The amount of money you spend on each other says nothing about the overall state of your relationship. Be open and honest about your finances, and understand when one or both of you doesn’t feel comfortable spending at the moment.

 

Lie for Them
Sometimes it might feel like you and your S.O. are a single unit, unable to separate your individual actions from the other person. It’s true that your actions will have larger effects on each other when you’re dating, but you’re still very much your own people. If your S.O. has done something wrong and you’re aware of it, you should never feel like you have to lie to keep them out of trouble. If they choose to participate in something dishonest, they need to be willing to accept the consequences of their actions. Lying for them only means you’ll get caught up in their drama and open yourself up to punishment, as well. Let them handle their negative actions in their own way, and try to stay out of the crossfire.

 

Spend Time With Their Friends Who Make You Uncomfortable
Dating a new person usually means that your friend groups will start to overlap. While it might be nice to mix your lives and meet new people, you should never feel like you have to spend time with any of your S.O.’s friends who you don’t feel comfortable around. Maybe you just get an overall bad vibe from these people or maybe you’re aware that they’re involved in some not-so-savory activities—whatever the reason might be, you should trust your gut and remove yourself from that situation, no matter how close they might be to your significant other. If your partner truly cares about your feelings, they’ll understand. They might even take your worries to heart and reevaluate the people they spend their time with.

 

Do Their Chores For Them
Sometimes when you’re dating someone—especially if you’ve been dating for a long time—the expected roles for your relationship can get a little bit twisted. Helping your S.O. with their daily chores or tidying up their space as a kind gesture is a nice way to show that you care, but you should never feel like their duties are also your responsibility. If you find that your S.O. expects you to clean up after them or is constantly asking you to complete their assigned tasks, it’s a pretty clear sign that they’re not willing to take responsibility for their own burdens. It’s not your job to make sure they get their stuff done, and you shouldn’t feel like participating in their domestic duties is essential to a happy relationship.

 

Apologize For Them
Being in a relationship naturally means that people will associate you and your S.O. with each other in social settings. It can be pretty exciting to have a person, and you should embrace the fact that you are now connected on a deeper level. However, your S.O. is still responsible for their own behavior. If they are rude, short-tempered or abrupt in their social interactions, it’s not your responsibility to apologize for their bad behavior. If you’re constantly feeling like you have to provide excuses for your partner’s actions, it may be a sign that they are not quite mature enough for a relationship, considering they can’t even conduct a conversation without offending people.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am and 12pm EST.

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Cherie – Chapter 25 – Anything Goes

“Once she gets going, you only get a few hours of repose while the eye of Cherie’s hurricane passes over you. But then she returns. Gently caressing your back and arms. You slowly awaken, and the wind increases, and within a short time you are both back at it and the sex storm is back to full force.”

So last weekend, baby was sick and so was her son. She texted me that she wasn’t coming down Friday night because of all of that. She just couldn’t do it. I want her to be well, and I also don’t want to catch whatever she has. Oh, and it was also shark week. I swear this girl has more periods than a Hemingway novel!

So I was a little relieved that for the first time in a month, I could simply go home on a Friday night after working at the salon, and chill. I could sleep in, and take myself out to breakfast on Saturday. Nothing to do. Just quiet solitary bliss.

Which I got. So I figured that the next weekend, she’d be all better and I’d see her. But then I got a message from my buddy Duncan, that his flight was getting in on Friday of next week. There was no way I could be with Cherie. Duncan had made this plan and booked his flight eight months ago! Yea, that’s Duncan for you. (See: Duncan – Concetrated Dosage)

So I had to break the news to Cherie. I didn’t know what her reaction would be, but when I told her she understood and was totally cool with it. (I mean, she sort of had to accept it. There was nothing I could do.) But she seems really good at accepting disappointment. I’m sure she’s had enough of that in her short life. My daughter Lorelei is the same way. She lived with her mother for so long she became accepting that life would be full of grinding disappointments. But instead of resentment, these two Scorpios, just knuckled down and made themselves better people. They haven’t met yet, but when they finally do, I hope I remember to thank them both for that wonderful trait.

So this was going to be a three-week intimacy drought. I know that’s really hard on her. I’m used to not getting laid. I’m just happy to be once again having sex. So I decided I should at least take her out to lunch during the week so we could at least see each other.

We met on a Tuesday, at where else? Ruby Tuesday’s! I just realized that connection. It was really nice to see her, but the embers are always smoldering under the surface with us. That feeling that we want nothing more than to rip each others clothes off and tear each other apart. I’m looking at her across the table. She’s telling me some story, and I’m listening, but I’m just letting my eyes dance all over her. Her lovely face, full lips, her lovely skin. She’s wearing her hair down, but in a pony tail pulled to the side. She looks very collegiate with her official Temple I.D.

I want her. But I can’t have her. Not today. Not for another week and a half. She looks lovely today. I tell her every time I see her she becomes more beautiful. She’s grateful and sweet about it, but I can see in her dark eyes what she really desires.

Sometimes I think I like writing about the non-sexual encounters because there’s more to think about. The obvious and easy part of the relationship is just the collision of our bodies in a celebration of pulchritude, but sitting and breaking bread with her and not being “allowed” to be intimate, is somewhat titillating. The forbidden. The denied. I’m a very patient man. I can wait years for things to come to fruition. A week and a half won’t kill me, but to her, it’s making her crazy.

She tells me she thinks about sex with me all day, and it’s driving her crazy. I’ve never experienced a woman like this. I was always a hyper-sexual growing up, but I have truly met my match. Mine has settled with middle age, but the fires can still burn brightly when they are fanned. She says she’s a nymphomaniac, and the only thing stopping her from being a whore is self-respect, control, and loyalty.

All great qualities. Wow. It’s like I’m banging Storm from the X-Men or something. Because when the lightning strikes it is extremely powerful. And once she gets going, you only get a few hours of repose while the eye of Cherie’s hurricane passes over you. But then she returns. Gently caressing your back and arms. You slowly awaken, and the wind increases, and within a short time you are both back at it and the sex storm is back to full force.

I love it, and I love Cherie, but it’s like I’m in some sort of sexual training program. It’s funny… you really do have to be careful what you wish for. I remember reading this book that my ex-girlfriend Michelle once lent me. (See: Michelle – 2007 to Present – A Brand New Day) It was called The Secret. I don’t know if this book was something that helped a lot of people but I do remember reading that if you think hard enough things that you want, and you do the right activities, you will actually start to ‘pull’ those things toward you. I started to do it back when I met Michelle, and it started to work.

But Cherie almost seems like a ‘reward’ of some kind. I’ve suffered at the hands of so many for so long, I was finally granted a reprieve from all of the bad drama and problems all of these women suffered from. Cherie was the perfect girl for me. Smart. getting her education. (Graduating next year) Hard worker. Doesn’t want anymore kids. I don’t see her all of the time, so I have my alone time. Super chill, zero drama chick. And of course, there’s the mad sexual appetite.

So we finish eating. We’ve brought each other up to date on what’s been happening in each others lives. I walk her to the train. She has to stop back at school, and then go to work over at CHOP. We’re sitting on a bench that’s a bit further away from the crowd on the platform. I get to steal a few kisses from my lovely lady. She even offers me her soft slender neck. I tell her I love her and she always returns the same.

We agree that another lunch next Tuesday should at least bridge the canyon of desire until next weekend.

“And when I do see you next weekend, and we’re together…”

“Yes, Cherie?”

“I want you to fuck me, and fuck me, and fuck me. Please promise. ”

She says this with all seriousness, like it is something she needs more than desires.

In ten days I’ll fulfill that wish.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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8 Experiences Couples Should Go Through Before Getting Married

“Experts say these things may help prepare you for the long haul of marriage.”

Building a strong foundation for marriage or another long-term committed relationship doesn’t happen in an instant. There are certain experiences couples go through over time that help them understand each other on a deeper level.

“We date and spend time together to figure out if a person is right for us, but time together is important also because the experiences that we have together build a bond, piece by piece,” marriage and family therapist Becky Whetstone told HuffPost. “The bonds are what helps the relationship withstand good times and bad.”

So ideally, what things should a couple go through together before taking a walk down the aisle? We asked marriage experts for their suggestions. (Note that what’s listed below are just that — suggestions. Every relationship is different, so this is by no means a be-all, end-all checklist.)

1. Take a big trip together.

“Whether you opt for a road trip across the U.S. or spend a few weeks backpacking through Southeast Asia, you need to see how it feels to truly rely on your partner when navigating novel experiences together. How do they cope with challenges like a flat tire or being immersed in a society without the ability to communicate in English? Are they able to roll with the punches and stay positive, or do they get pessimistic, moody or unreliable? This can be a litmus test for how they deal with the challenges that will arise later in life.” ― Spencer Scott, psychologist

2. Successfully resolve a big argument.

“Can you talk about things in a mutually respectful way? Can you communicate and collaborate without shutting down, attacking, blaming or getting defensive if you don’t immediately get your way? Or can you notice such reactions and then take a breath, step back, soothe yourself and continue the conversation? Can you arrive at some solution that feels okay to both of you? Facing and working through differences and conflicts creates an important foundation for your relationship going forward. If you can’t deal with conflicts at some point during dating, then how can you expect to deal with inevitable conflicts that arise in even the best relationships after marriage?” ― John Amodeo, marriage and family therapist and author of Dancing with Fire: A Mindful Way to Loving Relationships

3. Have an in-depth conversation about your childhoods and family histories. 

“Understand who your partner is and what they believe in. Spend time understanding one another’s history, learn about their family, what they loved and didn’t love along the way. Are they open or closed off? Do they believe they should put their parents above the marriage? What do they value and believe in? The more you know and understand about each other, the more solid your relationship will be.” ― Becky Whetstone

4. Make a shared budget and stick to it.

Finances are the No. 1 reason partners who share a household fight. Before commitment, you need to know if you can rely on your partner to stay true to a budget and effectively manage your shared pool of money. It might be a good idea to start small, like agreeing how much money you want to spend as a couple one weekend, then trying to have fun within that set limit.” ― Spencer Scott

5. Hit a rough patch — like a job loss, health scare or other stressful event — and come out the other side.

“It’s easy to love when things are going well. However, it’s the thunderstorms and difficulties that arise that show us if the relationship is based on real love or infatuation. Ultimately, in every relationship, frustrations happen, storms arise and our unhealed wounds come out of the shadows for healing. It is important to have a ‘rough waters’ game plan when the inevitable problems, fears, anger or regressions hit. Nothing builds trust more than a good storm. That’s when you learn what you are made of, how secure the relationship really is, and how committed you both are. When it gets tough, do you fall apart, run away or hold hands and talk it out?” ― Sheri Meyers, marriage and family therapist

6. Go to couples therapy

“Couples need to take the time to learn from someone who solidly understands the dynamics [of communication in a relationship]. The goal is to be able to transmit and receive messages in a way that remains respectful and doesn’t damage the relationship. This sounds easy and simple, but it isn’t ― especially when people are sensitive and tend to get feelings hurt or take things personally.” ― Whetstone

7. Live together. 

“You’ll be able to find out how you live together, how compatible and how tolerant you can be toward one another. Sharing a living space will help you figure out what annoys and upsets you in regard to your differences, needs and priorities and whether the two of you can manage and accept them. Also, when you live together, you realize the importance of teamwork and respect while dealing with chores and responsibilities.

Managing shared lives is much more difficult than managing life by yourself. Through the experience of living together, you get to know your partner and yourself better. You are forced to develop boundaries, intimacy and relationship skills and hopefully you move toward personal growth.” ― Moshe Ratson, marriage and family therapist

8. Go through a sexual rut. Then be willing to talk about it. 

“While it’s natural for couples to experience peaks and valleys in their sex lives, when a valley happens or stays too long, hurt, disappointments and rejection creep in. If your partner is starting to feel more like a roommate than a lover, this is a prime opportunity to come together and talk truth, all masks off about your desires, turn-ons and sexual expectations. How much sexual contact do you both want? What makes you feel connected and intimate? What are you going to do on the ‘off’ days? What do you each need to feel desired? How much experimentation is allowed?

“Look at ways to keep it fresh and stretch your comfort zone. Creating some conscious strategies early on will eliminate some of the disappointment that occurs when the sexual excitement shifts or goes temporarily dormant.”

 

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