10 Ways To Make Him Realize He Needs You

10 Ways To Make Him Realize He Needs You

Sometimes, a relationship gets to that point where people forget they need to fight for one another, because they’re so sure of their feelings for each other. But we all need to feel some appreciation, we all need to feel like we’re loved and wanted.

Being ignored and neglected are horrible things to feel in a relationship, especially if we truly love our significant other. But if we’re not ready to talk about it, what should we do?

Well, we have certain ways and games to play to show him that he’s actually losing you and how much he needs you. These should do the trick to make him fight for you and work harder to keep you around.

1. Show him that you’re more than just a body

You’re not just someone to keep his bed warm or to help him to get off. You have feelings, you have needs, same as him. Show him that you’re more than just an object in a house. Instead of rolling around in the sheets, tell him that you have the need to talk about your problems and emotions.

Show him that you’re best friends, lovers and lifetime partners, not just fuck buddies. Men tend to forget certain benefits of having an amazing woman beside them because they get so consumed by their fast lifestyle. But reminding them of having those things again will certainly make them slow down a little bit and actually enjoy the moment.

2. Show him that you trust him

One of the reasons why men pull away is lack of trust or feeling that there isn’t any of it in a relationship. Maybe he feels bad leaving on business trips without you because he’s worried you’re pissed. Maybe he’s not able to enjoy the moment, because he sees shadows of jealousy everywhere. Show him that he has your trust. Show him that you trust him with your body, with your emotions, with your fears. There’s no heavier bond than fear and hope. Sharing your biggest emotions and horrors, alongside love, is something no man could turn his head away from.

3. Make time for each other—not just you for him

10 Ways To Make Him Realize He Needs You

Maybe he’s so used to having you around that he forgot that he actually has to make an effort so that could stay that way. Next time he calls you, don’t answer. Pick up a new hobby, meet new people. Show him that he now has to fight to spend time with you, that you’re not a puppy who’d answer the second he called your name.

You are a person who needs to feel wanted. Once he shows interest in fighting for you, work slowly on compromising. Sometimes there’s no easy way to show him that he’s losing you.

4. Show appreciation

Just like you need to feel appreciated and loved, he needs that too. But instead of the regular things you compliment him on, try to play it differently this time. Say how you had no doubts about him succeeding with that project at work.

Tell him how you love the way he makes you feel safe. Tell him how you can’t wait to have some time alone with him so you can enjoy his great body. How you need him to be close and to fall asleep in his strong arms because you’re feeling broken. Show him that he’s appreciated, that there’s more than one reason you decided to give yourself to him.

5. Go out without him

You used to go out together all the time, but lately you’re spending all your nights at home watching Netflix and sometimes (rarely, really) making love. If you want more, if you’re not satisfied with that kind of lifestyle, but you’re not ready to openly admit that to him, show him. Go out without him. You wanted to watch that movie so badly, but he doesn’t feel like it? Go alone, go with your friends, don’t settle to stay home with him. You feel like clubbing, but he doesn’t? Go girl, you were clubbing long before you met him. Just show him that you don’t need him to accompany you everywhere, show him your independence.

6. Show off your confidence

Confidence is not something we’re naturally given and it’s usually easier to lose it than to gain it. But if you have it, if you’re working hard to keep it, show it off! You love how your body looks in that tight dress, but you’re worried he might be jealous? Wear it, and if he doubts you, if he doesn’t trust you, that’s a totally different problem you have.

But if he’s sure of your love, what could possibly go wrong if you remind him how much of an amazing woman he has beside him? What could possibly go wrong if you show him that you’re still that strong and independent woman he fell in love with?

7. Let him take care of himself sometimes

Don’t run to his aid if he’s sick, or if he’s having problems at work. If he said he can handle it, he only needed to share that with you, let him do it. You’re not his mama to be around him all the time. Let him iron his shirts once in a while, or tell him you want him to cook you dinner because he’s so good at it. Little accomplishments can go a long way.

8. Make the people around him love you

10 Ways To Make Him Realize He Needs You

If his parents accepted you and love you, if his friends keep telling him how he’s lucky to have you, he has to be a special kind of moron to not to see it himself. If you already have the love of his people, but he’s pulling away, there could be something serious going on. If he hasn’t reacted to any of the tactics you have used, then it’s time to sit down and address the issue. Neither of you is happy and you have to do something about it—together.

9. Prioritize yourself and make him understand why that is necessary

Neglecting yourself, only to keep him satisfied and happy, is not the way to maintain a relationship. He’s so used to having you around, so used to you taking care of him, that he has no need to take care of himself or your relationship, because he still believes that you will do it.

Show him that you won’t, put yourself first. Instead of going to his parents for the third weekend trip in a row, go somewhere you always wanted to go, whether alone or with friends. Stop respecting his wishes if he doesn’t respect yours.

If he shows you that he’s hurt, don’t add to the tension. Calmly try to make him understand that you really need that getaway weekend, that you really need to have some time for yourself and that you really need to feel wanted. And right now, you don’t feel that way.

10. Don’t let him always have things his way

This is not the 16th century anymore, we fought hard to accomplish things we have today and, damn, we’re still fighting like crazy. The time when a man’s word was the ultimate law in a relationship is long gone. Show him that you’re having none of it. He will either come to his senses or walk away. It’s a win-win situation, really.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly                  Instagram@phicklephilly

Advertisements

When A Woman Stops Loving A Man, She Begins To Feel These 8 Things. Is It Happening To You?

When A Woman Stops Loving A Man, She Begins To Feel These 8 Things. Is It Happening To You?

In many relationships, there is a time when the love is no longer there and one or both of the persons are looking for a way how to end this journey. Most commonly women are the one who is the ones who fight for the relationship to work, but there is certainly a breaking point.

However, today you will know some attitudes and what a woman feels when she stops loving a man, it is impressive. So do not miss it and find out what they are, take note of these 8 things that a woman begins to feel.

1. When eating together is no longer enjoyable.

When the meals start to get boring and there is no longer any more romance when having a dinner then it is clear the relationship is not on the right path. Especially when no words are exchanged and the only thing you’re sitting together is the food.

2. You start to stop worrying about whether you are okay or where you are, without realizing it.

It is women’s nature to be worried most of the time where their man is or is he ok. However, sometimes when women don’t feel any connection with their men they stop having this feeling and start caring more for themselves and other people. This does not mean that that person is bad, it is just an indication that there is no more love left in this relationship.

3. When you say goodbye you do not feel anything at all.

When the men leave and the women don’t really care for how long and when would they return than something is wrong.

4. When you feel that your partner is no longer the protagonist and does not even appear in your thoughts.

This is something really sad when you feel that this man does not appear as part of your future, where even you visualize without it and feel what is the best.

5. When you wake up and not even look at him first, you just feel like “it’s just another day”.

When you feel love, it always makes you happy to wake up with him; You look at him, give him a kiss and give him good morning, being one more day of love in their lives together.

6. When he is not at home, you feel that you do not miss him and prefer to be better alone.

If you feel like the longer he is absent the more time for yourself you have.

7. You realize that when you are enjoying when he is not near you.

This is when you realize that you don’t need him to be happy, moreover, you feel better when he is not around you.

8. WHEN YOU BEGIN TO PROJECT A NEW LOVE.

When you constantly imagine you’re with someone else and not just in an intimate way but to have something more.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly                  Instagram@phicklephilly

18 Things Women Accept In Relationships That Men Would Never Tolerate

18 Things Women Accept In Relationships That Men Would Never Tolerate

 

Here’s an interesting piece by one of my female followers. I thought I’d share it.

Why do we put up with this stuff?

When it comes to relationships, women are so much more patient than men. They put up with more, they let more slide, and they realize that it isn’t always going to run perfectly smooth all the time. Women aren’t perfect, we’re just a little more patient.

However, I’m not sure our male counterparts wouldn’t stick around as long as women do with certain things, because when it comes to what men want in relationships, they can be sticklers.

Here are 18 behaviors that women tend to accept and overlook, all of which may be signs you’re settling in a relationship, especially since men wouldn’t be caught dead doing the same.

1. Being on the phone consistently

18 Things Women Accept In Relationships That Men Would Never Tolerate

Apparently, there is always something so mesmerizing on your device that you can’t even put it down while at dinner.

2. Selective listening

How many times do we have to repeat the same sentence because you can’t focus long enough to listen?

3. Extreme laziness or messiness

We all have our moments, but never picking up after yourself? Seriously? When the garbage can is three steps away and you still can’t put your trash away, there’s a problem.

4. Expecting your other half to do all the housework

Women work just as hard as you do all day, but we are expected to clean the entire house while you watch TV?

5. Not meeting each other half way

18 Things Women Accept In Relationships That Men Would Never Tolerate

Have you ever heard of compromising? We both can’t always get what we want, yet we seem to be the one to cave and give in.

6. Showing one-sided romance

If there is anything romantic in this relationship, we know who is providing that. Small gestures are nice ways to show your partner that you appreciate everything they do for you, but it seems she’s the only one giving them.

7. Dealing with a cold

You’re not on your death bed and you’re not a child. Take some medicine and a nap, and stop acting like you need catered room service.

8. Telling white lies

18 Things Women Accept In Relationships That Men Would Never Tolerate

Why do you feel the need to create stupid lies that would have saved you an argument if you just admitted what you did, instead of backpedaling your way out of it? That works zero percent of the time.

9. Double-booking yourself

It’s frustrating when you have made plans, only to be told last minute that your partner planned something else. It’s even worse when you’ve told your partner how important this event is.

10. Not taking each other seriously

When you brush things off and act like they aren’t important, even though they really were, it’s exhausting.

11. Not showing affection

Not liking PDA is okay, but not giving any affection isn’t.

12. Always expecting to “receive” but never willing to reciprocate

18 Things Women Accept In Relationships That Men Would Never Tolerate

Don’t be a jerk. Relationships are all about give and take, not take and take.

13. Spending too much time apart

Personal time is important, but letting days or even a week go without seeing one another sends a message that their absence doesn’t bother you.

14. Waiting hours to respond to text messages

If you’re working, that’s fine, but if you’re scrolling through Facebook or Twitter, it’s rude to make someone wait hours to hear back from you, especially if they’re always quick to answer you.

15. Flipping an argument

Instead of acknowledging you’re wrong in an argument, you flip it to make the other person look wrong. Why you can’t just be an adult and admit when you’re wrong? Instead, you slither your way out of it and spin the tale.

16. Not putting in the effort to make plans

One person shouldn’t be choosing what to do for date nights or where to go to dinner. You also shouldn’t have to expect to do the same thing all the time unless you plan it yourself.

17. Never working on bad behavior

Your partner doesn’t work on behaviors that are annoying or have turned into bad habits. After hearing about it for the fifth, sixth, or seventh time, it gets old.

18. Having exaggerated bromances​

18 Things Women Accept In Relationships That Men Would Never Tolerate

We understand the importance of hanging with your guys, because we need time with the girls, but that shouldn’t always your go-to excuse to get out of doing something.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly                  Instagram@phicklephilly

10 things to never tolerate in a relationship

10 things to never tolerate in a relationship

1- Everything is going in one direction

You listen to your partner. You advise. You help. You give your time and attention. You offer Gifts. You care about your partner. However, you get almost nothing in return. You’re not a pigeon or a fish. You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love him/her back and makes you happy. You’ll find that elsewhere not in this relationship.

2- He/She is not interested in your childhood?

He never asked you a question about it. Your passions? You bet it does not know (and especially does not care). Something good or bad happened in your life and he does not ask you about the way you feel. You may think “well he is just shy or he wants to take his time”! No, you are wrong. He is simply not interested! So don’t waste too much of your time with this one.

3- He wants to change me

The horror! With our faults and qualities, each of us is unique, and that’s awesome! Indeed throughout the relationship, we might need to adjust or change some of our behaviors or habits. However, when you are the only one doing the effort or always asked to change here and there, you might need to consider your options.

4- He hides me.

Having been with your partner for over 6 months and you have never seen his family or colleagues or friends (and obviously he does not care to meet yours), we say: “Flee”. Loving someone is to love him and his life and therefore know the important people within it.

5- He flirts with other girls.

Either Mr. is a dumb, or he is playing with your emotions. In any event, Mr. better walk away. If you are not in an open polygamous relationship, that’s what we call a great disrespect.

6- He does not keep his promises.

He lies, he is abusive (verbally or physically). Above everything, there should be trust and respect. Never tolerate such behaviors under any circumstances.

7- He is stingy.

He is not generous with you. He hardly offers you anything or shares anything with you. He only thinks about himself. Very very bad.

8- He changes moods like socks.

One day it’s true love. The next it’s ignorance. Is it a passionate relationship or a sign of a very unstable character? Maybe both … In any case, if you want to be happy and have your head straight, you have to make a decision right away.

9- He cares about me after 10 pm.

Ok, He may have a busy schedule. But he shouldn’t make you believe that he cannot ‘have a Saturday afternoon off and dedicated to you! If it’s a friend with benefits kind of relationship then that’s clear enough. However, if you want more, then keep the door closed(with him out)!

10- It makes you cry more than laugh.

The sure reason to leave. Now. Right now.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly                  Instagram@phicklephilly

Ambria – Chapter 11 – Movie Rendezvous

It was Monday, which is Ambria’s Saturday, because she works at the hospital Wednesday to Sunday. Make sense? So on Mondays I can shift a few things around and spend the afternoon with her. I have tickets for the Big Red Bus. It’s a bus that tours around the city and you can get on and off as much as you want for 12 hours. It sounds pretty cool, and I already have the tickets, but we’ve decided to go to the cinema again. I love film as you know, and so does she. We also both love a quiet matinee on a hot summer afternoon.

I send her some titles I like, and she decides on “Abacus: Small Enough to Jail.” It’s an excellent and heartfelt documentary. It tells the incredible saga of the Chinese immigrant Sung family, owners of Abacus Federal Savings of Chinatown, New York. Accused of mortgage fraud by Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus R. Vance, Jr., Abacus becomes the only U.S. bank to face criminal charges in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis. The indictment and subsequent trial forces the Sung family to defend themselves – and their bank’s legacy in the Chinatown community – over the course of a five-year legal battle.

Last week we saw “My Cousin Rachel,” and now this week we’re seeing another terrific film! Two in a row. We’re on a roll. I get there first and buy the tickets and take the escalator downstairs next to the Bourse Building to the actual theater. I like this cinema. That cool underground theater tucked away from street level in the heart of the historic district at 4th and Market.

I text her that I have arrived and she’s on point. She tells me she’s also arrived. I tell her to come downstairs and that the tickets have been acquired.

Within a minute she appears and we lean in for a smooch. She orders me a small popcorn with butter and a medium diet coke. That’s my go to movie food. She pays $11 for the treats (Movie prices!) and I ask her if she wants anything. She said she fine. We head into the theater and sit in the back. There are only 3 other people in the place. I love when a matinée is empty! We sit all the way in the back in the very center.

We watch what seems like 15 minutes of coming attractions. I like trailers though. It’s fun to get the first glimpse of the new exciting picture that’s coming soon!

Ambria snuck her own snacks into the movie. That’s her movie food. Then she pulls out a box of M&M’s Peanuts and hands it to me. Last week I mentioned that was my favorite movie candy. She remembered and bought me a box and brought it with her today.

Good memory. Listens to me. Love is in the air!

Another great thing that happened, was she let me own the armrest. Right guys? I had the one on my left and she let me have the one on the right. I’m like a king on a throne and I own this experience. Sure there was some hand holding and touching but these armrests are mine! You gotta love that in a girl at the movies. I’m just sayin’.

The film was great and heartwarming. I loved the Sung family by the end of this film. I recommend you go see it. Phicklephilly gives it two thumbs up!

When the film was over we headed west on Walnut street. I like Walnut. It’s just a little nicer than Chestnut and Market streets. I probably should have stayed in the theater for a little bit so I could make out with hot Ambria but I didn’t think of it. I regret that now.

It’s a beautiful day, so we walk all the way back to center city. We settle on Locust Rendezvous which I love. She tells me she loves bars like that and that makes me happy. “The ‘Vous” as some people call it, is a small bar down around 15th and Locust.

Locust Rendezvous was established in September of 1989. Surviving in an ever-changing neighborhood, they have withstood the test of time. Many establishments have come and gone, not sure what they wanted to be when they grew up. Fortunately, they learned early on that they were just a great bar with good food — nothing more, nothing less.

Their goal, as always, has been to make all of their customers feel welcome. You’ll find when you come in regularly that there are many familiar faces. Their customers come from far and wide, remembering the great service, comfortable atmosphere and reasonable prices from their first venture through our front door. Repeat business is their mainstay, and all new are welcome.

I love a good tavern. The food is cheap, it’s tasty, and the beer is cold. I order a Yards Pale Ale, and Ambria gets a cocktail. We order a pair of tacos and Ambria asks for a basket of fries. Perfect.

We’re sitting at a table away from the bar and the moment belongs to us.

I love being with Ambria. She’s beautiful, fun and easy. Not easy sexually. I know that’s coming. I’m trying to stave that off. I know romance is paramount in any relationship. We could have jumped into bed after our second date. But I know better. Get to know her. Be sure. Grow together. Feel the force. Build the desire for the celebration. It’ll be so much better. Too many people just leap out of desire. I’ve seen this a hundred times. It’s a slippery slope that can easily end in disaster.

My experience guides me. If she’s the one, I’ll be present, myself and careful. Not so much for me, I’ll be fine, but for her heart. I need the glue to stick, the cohesion to happen and then when we finally come together it’ll be magic.

Most men rush in for the hasty close. I’ve been in sales all of my life. I love and know women. It simply doesn’t work that way. Set the trap. Go slow. Build the myth. Create the romance. Take it to a level that is so high there is nowhere else to go once you reach the top. There’s so much joy between the two of you, there is nothing left to do but make love.

She wants that. You want that. It should have happened eight chapters ago, but give it value. Make your memories now. Make them valuable. Make them truly memorable so when you get down to the ‘you and me’ it’s amazing.

Anybody can do the old “In and out” like John Lennon used to call it, but build something elegant and celebrate together with the only possession you came into the world with.

Share. Celebrate. Together.

The food comes, and it’s magic. We’re happy. Ambria says she loves this place again. We’re going to get along just fine. It’s obvious at this point. Her hand moves the basket and comes across the table top like a soft welcomed spider. She takes my hand and we entwine like old lovers.

The staff is great, and we learn our server is the GM and we dig that she’s on point.

After the little meal we decide to hit the next place. It’ 5pm and I remind her that Dan Dan’s happy hour starts at 4:30pm. She’s ready to roll too. We’ve done this place and it’s time to go. I think the real reason we go is, that we’re both thinking about the film we saw today.

She pays the bill, (Hooray!) and we head out with many thanks for the sweet repose. This has been the perfect stop and I’m glad I chose it.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish everyday.

Instagram: @phicklphilly       Facebook: Phicklephilly

8 Harsh truths showing the difference between being in love and loving

8 Harsh truths showing the difference between being in love and loving

People around the world have the same problem; how to find a perfect partner, with whom we can spend the rest of our life. Love is a feeling that motivates us and can even make us became the better versions of ourselves. No one wants to be alone for the whole life, so love and having a partner can be a goal for many. However, there are many opinions on this subject. Every love is different because people are different.

8 Harsh truths showing the difference between being in love and loving

Love is the feeling written in many poems, books and showed in many movies. Meaning of love and pieces of advice on this topic are the ground of many works and articles, even on our website. Maybe it is difficult to believe it but there are some individuals who are not able to feel it or to understand such emotions. That’s why there are also people who can mistake love with being in love. Even if you think that this is the same, the difference between those feelings is brutal and today we will explain it to you.

8 Harsh truths showing the difference between being in love and loving

1. The choice

When you are in love with someone, it is not a matter of your choice. It might be one glance or chemistry, regardless of what you call it, you will feel that with whole your body. You will stop to be reasonable and you will be driven by your heart. And even if that relationship will be over, you will remember this feeling for a whole life. Meanwhile, when you love, you make a decision to do it. If you are giving your heart to someone and want to tie a knot with him, it is based on your personalities compatibility trust, feeling safe and cared for.

8 Harsh truths showing the difference between being in love and loving

2. Priorities

When you love your partner, you simply want all the best for him. And of course, you are able to support and motivate him in all actions. However, your goals are important too and there are some limits of sacrifices you can make for a relationship. Meanwhile, when you are in love, you don’t have such a doubts or thought. With this feeling, you are able to do everything, literally, everything, for the partner. He is the whole world for you.

8 Harsh truths showing the difference between being in love and loving

3. Ending

The statistics do not lie! There is a lot of divorces nowadays. Even when there was the love before, and no matter how sad or heartbreaking for the partner it can be, love can be ended. Unfortunately, that feeling of trust and engagement is not enough for many to keep the relationship. Meanwhile, when we are in love, there is no problem we can’t solve to be with our partner. We cannot imagine living without each other regardless of difficulties in life.

8 Harsh truths showing the difference between being in love and loving

4. The need to be around

When you are in love, you cannot imagine the life without the person and you want to spend every second you can with your partner. You might call him to know what he is doing, thinking about him constantly and the most important thing to you is to be with him or around him all the time. Meanwhile, love means that you understand that you both need some time for yourself from time to time. And that you both simply create a home where at the end you both come to.

8 Harsh truths showing the difference between being in love and loving

5. Rollercoaster of emotions

When you love someone, you experience many emotions, from happiness to sadness. Relationship means constant work on a love you share. Because sometimes, when the problem is too huge, the love and relationship might end. Meanwhile, when you are in love, your emotions are brought to the extreme. No matter what is happening in a relationship, you never feel that there is something wrong because you believe that your feelings will help you survive everything.

8 Harsh truths showing the difference between being in love and loving

6. The influence of the feeling

This actually can be a little bit confusing, however, means something good in both cases. When we love someone, we know that thanks to that person we are a better version of ourselves. Meanwhile, when you are in love with someone, you think much more about how you make him feel. Partner is a world for you, so his/her happiness is all you want. And you wish to make him feel the best.

8 Harsh truths showing the difference between being in love and loving

7. Status

When you are in love with someone, it means that you belong to each other. You are the world to him, he is the world to you. And you want everybody to know it, that you own that person. Meanwhile, when you love someone, you respect the partnership. You know that you are two individuals, who because of the feeling decided to be together. You understand that your partner is yours without labels.

8 Harsh truths showing the difference between being in love and loving

8. Struggle

When you love someone, it means that you need to work on it to create a happy long-lasting relationship. Sometimes you can struggle with problems and difficulties to achieve a compromise. Meanwhile, when you are in love, you don’t think about it. You take the life as hard as it can be without being concern about your partner and the feeling you share. You are sure that it is so strong that you will go through everything.

This is the end of the article. Of course, life never is easy, and no matter if you are in love or you love someone, it is good to have that feeling and the partner in life.

8 Harsh truths showing the difference between being in love and loving

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly                  Instagram@phicklephilly

My Husband Has Admitted To Having Feelings For A Woman At Work, But Says He Still Loves Me. Should I Worry?

Here’s a post from on of my female followers. I thought it was worth sharing.

If I had to name the most common place where infidelity happens, it would be at the work place. I would say that the vast majority of the correspondence that I get about cheating and affairs happen in a work place setting. And I often hear from people who are concerned about a relationship that they see forming at their spouse’s job.

I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “I had a strong suspicion that my husband was developing feelings for a woman at his work every time I saw the two of them together. I also couldn’t help but notice that he constantly talked about her and often mentioned them having lunch together, sometimes without others present. When I confronted him about this, at first he denied that anything was wrong. He said that they were just colleagues who had a lot of projects together. But later, I found some texts from her that were very flirty in nature. So, once again, I confronted him and he continued to deny everything. But this time, I continued to press him and eventually, he broke down and admitted that he had “strong romantic feelings” for this woman, but insisted that he still loved me and was committed to our marriage and therefore, would never act on his feelings. My husband has never lied to me, so I want to believe him. But in the back of my mind, I wonder if I should be worried about this. It’s not a good sign when your husband admits to having romantic feelings for someone else. So what should I do about this? Am I right to worry?”

I believe that the wife was right to feel concerned. From all of the correspondence that I get that outline affairs (even only emotional ones) at work, I can tell you that feelings that aren’t even acted upon can absolutely seriously harm your marriage. Not only that, but it’s not at all uncommon for people to eventually act upon these feelings even when they never intended to do so. And finally, sometimes people will insist that they only have feelings, when in fact they are trying to spare the feelings of their spouse by denying an affair (emotional or physical) that actually does exist.

Sometimes when I share my feelings on this, I’m accused of being paranoid or distrustful. But, I think that I’d rather someone be paranoid but proactive than being trusting but later very sorry when they’re trying to recover from full-fledged infidelity. It’s easier to prevent an affair than to recover from one, in my experience and opinion.

What To Do When Your Husband Admits To Having Feelings For Someone Else, But Denies Acting On These Feelings: This is only my opinion from my own experience, but I believe that just sitting back and hoping for the best is a mistake that I see happening over and over again. You can still make every attempt to believe and trust your spouse while being proactive about saving and safe guarding your marriage. When your husband has admitted to feeling romantic and loving toward someone else (who he sees and interacts with on a close and personal level every day,) then my feeling is that you are justified in taking action.

One suggestion might be to see if your husband can stop having to work so closely with her. Can he transfer, move to another department or partner with someone else? This may sound drastic, but again it’s usually much easier to prevent infidelity than the heal or recover from it. And, if you get resistance from your husband, then this will give you some important clues as to how he really feels and how invested he is in any close relationship with her.

Another thing that you will want to consider is strengthening and safe guarding your marriage. You want to make sure that things are very good at home so that he won’t have any reason to lament his marriage or talk about what it lacks with this other woman. You want to make it so that the two of you are as connected as you can possibly be. And, it’s certainly not a bad idea to swing by and have lunch with him as much as you possibly can. After all, when he’s having lunch with you, he won’t be meeting with her and she will see that your marriage is his reality and that it is solid and still very much in tact.

You also might want to look at where your marriage is vulnerable. Many women will deny that there are issues or problems, but I would argue that if your husband is developing feelings for someone else, then there are likely issues somewhere. There are likely vulnerabilities that you may not have considered or noticed, but which are most certainly coming into play. And again, if your husband is resistant to exploring these issues to strengthen your marriage, this might be indicative or what is truly going on with him and how deep his commitment really is to her or to you and your marriage. Because men will sometimes say words of reassurance, only to lack the actions to follow them through in the end.

This is not always the case, of course. Sometimes, a husband will do exactly what you’ve asked of him and the relationship or feelings for the other woman will fizzle out once you prioritize your marriage. However, to answer the question posed, yes, I do feel that there are plenty of reasons to worry, be concerned, or at least pay attention when your husband admits having feelings for someone else, even if he swears he’d never act on them. In my view, it’s better to be concerned and to take swift action than to vow not to worry, only to regret it later.

I know from experience that it’s easier to strengthen your marriage than it is to recover from an affair. My husband was unfaithful during the course of his job and I just didn’t see it coming. Since you have a warning and a head’s up, you don’t need to allow this to happen to you.

 

Thanks. I hope this was helpful. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this piece.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                            Facebook: phicklephilly