Sun Stories – Colleen – Fudge-O-Rama – Part Three

I couldn’t think of a fudge pun for part 3 of this little trilogy. If any of you reading this can think up a better title for this entry, please let me know and I’ll change the title!

The weekend grinds by. I work Friday night. I had to go see my sister at the shore house on Saturday and settle some estate stuff, which really didn’t feel like a day off. We’re trying to get this gym open and I’ve been working two jobs and this one for the las thirty days straight. My friends and all of the ladies in my life thinks I’ve left the living.

But I’m here. Just building a business in Rittenhouse. We will be successful but I’ve never worked this much physically but I love what we’re doing, so it in no way resembles the crushing feeling of busting your ass for some shitty corporation and having your talent squandered by morons everyday. Here at the salon, we rule. It’s a lovely place to work and I never want to go back to a cubicle agin.

Tuesday rolls around and I stop by the salon early because Achilles wants to talk business and vision. We both voted that our new fitness manager guy should go to Popeye’s chicken and get us lunch.

I really respect what he’s doing for us but I love that Achilles is clear on the pecking order in this company and having him go get us some fried chicken is a brash show of who is who in this business. I didn’t care, I just hate standing in line over there and it’s hard carrying all of those boxes and drinks back down to Walnut street.

It’s a subtle compliment from him to let me know that he and I are the main partners here. It’s Me and Achilles all day long, but we need him to manage, organize and run the gym. But we’re the loyal money partners in this business. I love the clarity and arrogance in that.

Later, we all munch our chicken and it’s good, but I think Popeye’s gives me tummy troubles, but a free lunch is what it is so that eases the pain.

Achilles leaves and I’m on shift doing what I do.

It was a quiet Tuesday and I expected that. But after 6pm we started to get a little rush. Some of my favorites were coming in and I love that. Pretty girls with lovely faces and legs to match. My dear friend Alice even stopped in to tan! (See: Alice – 2012 to Present – The Cute Recruiter)I loved seeing her and the lobby was alive with attractive chatty ladies.

Then during the melee Colleen arrived.

I was sending ladies to stand up units and lay downs left and right but I wanted her to know I saw her.

“Hey Col.”

I could she was carrying a large plastic bag. It was on. The deal was about to be closed. I could feel the juicy chocolate energy flowing through this facility.

Once I cleared the other girls from the room I turned my attention to lovely Colleen.

“Hello, dear. It’s so great to see you!” (she kept her word and came to the salon exactly when she said she would. We respect that here at the salon.)

“Here you go.”

There it is. The real deal. Two pounds of delicious freshly made fudge from The Original Fudge Kitchen in Cape May NJ!

Colleen has kept her word and this babydoll has just earned herself a month of All Access tanning for $35 buck! Well played!

Colleen is so amazing she even through in a bag of salt water taffy absolutely free. ( I love that she sweetened the deal)

She also gave me a little box of fudge as a thank you for brokering this complex tanning/candy deal.

Oh’ the benefits of being King!

Wow. That really captures my existence. Delicious candy. Cigarettes. A Chardonnay on the rocks, a shot of vodka in a Boston Red Sox glass, two pictures of my daughter Lorelei with the Father’s Day card she gave me, some pens, my glasses on a Rock Trivia book. I think I just smiled…

“Don’t refrigerate the fudge okay? Write Achilles a note about that. It’s important.”

At this point I’m so joyful, I’ll do whatever she says.

I write Achilles a note on the computer in the section where I let him know what’s going on in the salon on a daily basis. This is good fudge. Apparently you can freeze it, but you can’t refrigerate it. I don’t know.

I happilly take the pic above of the two pounds of delish and text it to Achilles and wait for a response…”

 

 

I show this to Colleen and she leaps into action….

 

We crack this pic off immediately as to not spoil the fruit of our rich bounty today. Sweet Colleen is instrumental in this communication.

Achilles response?

“Ok”

My response: ” I can’t believe you didn’t even notice my new manicure.”

Ten minute later…

“That’s also very nice, thank you for pointing it out to me.”

 

I’ll see him and the salon and the gym tomorrow and it’ll be business as usual as we continue to all work and build our model. But after working 30 days in a row because it’s what’s needed to be done to run a business there is always space for love, laughter and fudge!

Thank you, Colleen!

XOXO

 

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Sun Stories – Colleen – You Better Pack My Fudge – Part Two

“Does he like peanut butter?

“I guess. I don’t know. Keep it pretty traditional. We’ll all be safer that way.”

Colleen comes in around 7pm. It’s raining here in Philly. Summer storms are passing through to quell the humidity. She’s dressed in a black bodysuit and looks lovely. We’re chatting and she is absolutely charming as always. She wants to go to the huge windows that overlook Walnut Street to watch as the populace run from the storm. Standing with her in the dark overlooking the night street is lovely. The music from the salon sets the soundtrack as we giggle as umbrellas blow out and couples find shelter. I want to kiss her in this moment. Not as a romantic gesture, but because she seems so present and real. Like an old friend.

We get back to counter and she gives me $35 cash. She promises profusely that she will fulfill the remaining aspect of this unique deal.

“I’m a woman of my word. You know that. What kind of flavors does he like? I’ll do whatever’s necessary.”

Achilles tastes are simple. Keep it to vanilla and chocolate for now. I don’t him weirded out by any exotic flavors.”

“Does he like peanut butter?

“I guess. I don’t know. Keep it pretty traditional. We’ll all be safer that way.”

“Okay. I’ve been at this a long time. I’ll make him up a nice couple of batches.”

“You wanna tan?”

“I’d love to tan.”

“Well based on your word, and the $35 cash I just dropped in the safe I think we should let you tan. But… because you’ve been so wonderful and I like you, I’m going to have to tan you under the house account tonight because technically your account hasn’t been loaded yet. So I’m taking a risk here without any fudge and I’ll let you tan tonight.”

“Yes! Thank you so much! I have to go to Jersey this weekend, and then I’ll be at the Fudge Kitchen on Monday and I’ll deliver on Tuesday.”

“I trust you. Colleen, you’ve tanned for years in shitty little 15 minute beds that really are inefficient and take forever to give you the bronze glow you so rightfully deserve. Since you’ve been so wonderful, I’m going to tan you under the house account. Although this deal will secure that you’ll have the All Access plan, I’m going to do something a little extra for you tonight because I can.”

“I don’t even know what these other beds will do.”

“They’ll tan you faster and better than those old clams you’ve been lying in for the past three years. But tonight, you get a little something special just to ensure that you know we’ve taken your offer very seriously.”

“Wha…”

“Come with me Colleen.”

I take her to room number one. That’s where the Megasun Alpha 6800 lives. It’s a premium bed held exclusively for premium members. This is a state of the art tanning unit.

I call it the Tropical Starship.

600 watts of UV in the face tanners. (More A than B) 180 watts in the tubes. P2 vitamin D lamps throughout that glow pink. A plug so you can hook up your phone and listen to your music in there. Air conditioning, including vents that blow toward your face to keep you cool. Three levels of tanning. Basic, Mediterranean, and Caribbean. Dark, darker and darkest. And the best part of all? Aqua misters that spray you with mist every three minutes to keep you feeling cool and sexy through the entire journey. The Alpha is THE experience.

New, this bed costs $35,000. More than your fucking car.

I walk her through what this baby will do and Colleen is nearly orgasmic. She promises again and again to keep her word on the fudge.

“See that you do.” I send her into her session.

Let’s see if she keeps up her end of the bargain.

 

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Sun Stories – Colleen – Oh Fudge! – Part One

“I think you should let her pay $35 and the rest in fresh fudge.”

“Fuck no. It’s $65 a month. Wait…did you say fudge?”

The game is afoot.

This pretty Irish girl came into the salon the other day. I sort of remembered from our previous location. I looked her up in the system and the memory came back to me.

“I remember you Colleen! We had some great conversations at the old place.”

“Yea, the new place looks great! I was wondering what happened to you guys and then I went online and saw your new address.”

“I haven’t seen you since last year. I know you were living in Jersey.”

“I got a job here in the city and bought a house in South Philly.”

“Congrats! Good for you!”

Shannon is a lovely, tall girl. There has a certain confidence and honor in her personality. Just old fasshioned goodness. I find that very attractive. She has a very social personality and a hard work ethic. Somebody like my sister April. Strong. A leader.

“Yea, so I want to tan and I know you are the only salon in the city that had the basic beds because I’m cash poor because I just bought a house.”

“Oooh… We didn’t bring the basic beds with us down here.”

“What?”

“Yea, we just didn’t have room for them.”

“It was like $35 for a month of tanning wasn’t it?”

“It was a great deal. I’m sorry.”

“What do you have now that’s a monthly package?”

“The All Access for $64.95.”

“65 bucks? You’re killing me. I really want to tan, but I’m just not in a position to lay out $65 a month right now.”

“I feel like you’re going to leave and I’m not going to see you again.”

“I just can’t right now.”

“Do you still work part-time at the Fudge Kitchen in Cape May?”

“I do. Best employee they’ve ever had. Why?”

“My partner, Achilles loves to eat. But his weakness is sweets. I literally can’t leave any candy here because he’ll eat it all like a piranha.”

“So what are you proposing?”

I take a risk here. “What if I ask him if you can pay your old rate of $35 a month but you get the All Access package that goes for $65 but you make up the difference in delicious fresh fudge?”

“I can do that. If you can make that deal with your partner, I swear to god I will bring you $35 tomorrow and I can get you the fudge by Tuesday.”

“Let me see what I can do.”

Shannon leaves and I promise to keep in touch with her. If this doesn’t fly, I know I’ll probably never see her again, and I really like her.

______________________________________________________________________________________

I decide to have a conversation with my partner, Achilles.

“So this girl Colleen came in the other night. She’s come here for years and has always tanned in the basic beds. But we don’t have them anymore. She recently moved to the city and got a great job at a law office and bought a house.”

“Is there a point to this story W?” (Achilles calls me by the first letter of my last name. He also doesn’t like long-winded stories or small talk. He’s a ‘get to the fucking point’ kind of guy)

“I think you should let her pay $35 and the rest in fresh fudge.”

“Fuck no. It’s $65 a month.     Wait…did you say fudge?”

The game is afoot.

“Yea, she’s doing well now but cash poor because of her new house, but she’s worked at the Fudge Kitchen in Cape May, NJ since she was a kid and keeps her hand in there to pick up a couple of bucks here and there when she can. She says she can make up the rest of the payment in delicious fresh fudge.”

He looks at me. He’s working it out. I watch his eyes.

“Thirty five cash money and two pounds of fudge.”

“Excellent! I’ll call her and tell her! Thank you! She’ll be so happy, and we’ll have retained a client! You can eat the fudge or share it or even give it away if you want!”

“Don’t be fucking giving away my fudge already W! That shit’s mine.”

“Okay…okay… I’ll broker the deal.”

“Worst case senario, she pays $35 cash and doesn’t come through with the fudge… No tanning package and I’m $35 richer. The dye is cast.”

Ruthless motherfucker, but that’s why I love him.

This is beautiful. I’ve been a million dollar producer in the banking industry and in advertising for the last twenty-five years and now I’m retaining clients using nothing but sumptuous treats.

I call Colleen from the house phone and leave a message.

“Hi Col, it’s Charles from the salon. I have some good news. Give me a call back.”

I’m working and tanning the ladies like I always do when the phone rings. I give her the details.

“Really? He went for it? I’ll be in tonight!”

Let’s see if Colleen holds up her end of this extraordinary bargain…

 

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Erica – Loose Ends

“He told them I had a gun.”

“I met a nice girl who said she was new in town. After talking for a few days over IM and email, I offered to take her out to a movie. We hang out and chat for awhile before, nothing odd. About halfway through the movie, my phone starts going off (vibrate), I check the number, don’t recognize it. So I ignore it. It doesn’t stop going off for 10 solid minutes. So I excuse myself to take the call, thinking it must be important.

“‘Hello?’ –

“‘GIVE THE PHONE TO ERICA M***********.’

“‘Excuse me? Who are you?’

“‘I’M JESUS FUCKING CHRIST AND I WILL END YOUR SHIT IF YOU DON’T GIVE HER THE PHONE.’

“‘Seriously, who are you?’

“BUNCH OF LOUD CURSING THAT I DON’T REMEMBER.”

“So I decided then to see if this girl knew who the hell was on the phone. I go back and get her from the theater. I hand her the phone and she gets really quiet and takes a few steps away just looking at the floor and saying “mhmm, mhmm.” After a few minutes, she hangs up and tells me she has to go. I’m actually pretty amused by the whole thing. I say goodbye, and finish the movie.

“The next day I get an email with an apology, and the request to go out again. She explains that it was her ex-boyfriend from a few states away, and that he didn’t take the break up and move well. And I guess he went through all her emails, got my number, and found out we were seeing a movie together.

“He called all the theaters in the area and gave them my description from pictures he found online of me. He told them I had a gun. Either he didn’t call the one where we were, or they didn’t take him seriously. I replied to her saying that I don’t know if we can go out again, if this guy is going to do stuff like this. I mean, she needs to either make him back off, or call the cops. I get a reply email, not from her, but from him. He was intercepting her email. Basically the same ‘BACK OFF, SHE’S MINE, BITCH! So I called her, told her she needed to get this guy out of her life if she wants to date people. She didn’t think it was that bad, so I told her that I wasn’t comfortable going out again.

 

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Phicklephilly Special Edition: Super Bowl 2018 – Who should you root for? Five Reasons to Make it the Philadelphia Eagles.

Fans of 30 NFL teams are probably wondering who they should be rooting for in Super Bowl LII on Sunday. And that goes double for people who aren’t fans of any particular team.

As much as a Philadelphia Eagles vs. New England Patriots championship appears to present two sides, we all know, deep down, there’s only one way to go.

OK, so maybe not everyone feels that way. But after this, there should be no ifs, ands or buts about your allegiance to the Birds on the biggest Sunday of the year. Ready or not, here are five reasons you should be pulling for the Eagles in Minneapolis:

Note: Don’t miss our five reasons to root for the Patriots.

Get SportsLine’s Super Bowl picks from a Patriots expert who’s 9-2 in his last 11 picks for or against the team, and from an Eagles expert who’s 9-3 in Eagles games and nailed the NFC Championship.

1. Because who isn’t sick of the Patriots dynasty?

Nothing against Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and the sustained success that New England has found. Question them and their ethics all you want, but videotaped hand signals and deflated footballs are not the only reasons that Belichick is the NFL‘s toughest matchup on the sidelines, Brady at age 40 is an MVP candidate and the Patriots are now vying for a sixth Super Bowl title. This team is good, whether you like it or not, and it has been for a lot longer than any other franchise of this era.

NFL: Super Bowl LI-New England Patriots vs Atlanta Falcons
You really want to see this again? USATSI

That’s all the more reason, however, to hope for change. We can all appreciate a little nostalgia in fresh developments. Take “Star Wars,” for example, an appropriate analogy here with the overused “Evil Empire” Patriots comparison. “The Force Awakens” was darn near a carbon copy of the 1977 original, albeit in updated form. But we got that with New England in 2016. Brady, Belichick and the Pats, forces of old, came storming back to give us the same story against the Atlanta Falcons, albeit in updated form. Now it’s time for “The Last Jedi” — something strikingly unfamiliar, a bridge into a brand new story and, thus, the end of the Pats dynasty.

If you’re rooting for the Brady Bunch just so Tom can stick it to the fans who are disillusioned enough to think cheating is the only reason he’s one of the greatest to ever play the game, good for you, perhaps. But let’s be real. If 2016’s title — or trips to three of the last four Super Bowls, for that matter — didn’t win everyone over, why will a sixth Lombardi Trophy? We’re past due for a changing of the guard, and what better team to close the book on this overlong New England run than the team that just barely lost to the Pats in the big game more than a decade ago?

2. The Eagles have never won a Super Bowl

As we make a gigantic leap from discussing the Patriots’ hunt for a sixth Super Bowl win, there’s something extra special about a championship game featuring a team that’s never won it all, and we’ve seen it unfold more than a few times in recent history, from the Chicago Cubs’ curse-shattering World Series win in 2016 to the Seattle Seahawks‘ historic blowout of the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl XLVIII. It doesn’t always work out in favor of the club vying for its first ‘ship (see: 2015 Carolina Panthers), but when it does, bringing home a Lombardi Trophy for the first time in franchise history is like putting the cherry on top of the NFL’s biggest sundae — er, Sunday.

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Even 2004, when the Eagles last made the Super Bowl, seems like ages ago. Getty Images

Philadelphia isn’t completely devoid of championships. Although there are inevitably some same-state Pittsburgh Steelers fans who are bent on convincing you that any NFL games before 1967 didn’t count, the Eagles were the NFL’s top dogs in 1947, ’48 and again in ’60. And yet, for them and their hungry followers, the last five decades have done little more than tease a city starved for a trophy. Even the last great Eagles run, which saw Andy Reid coach the team to historic success and, of course, the club’s last Super Bowl appearance against you-know-who in 2004, included a whopping four NFC Championship Game losses, three of which came back-to-back-to-back.

If you can spare a shred of mercy, you’ll root for the Eagles to accomplish what’s always seemed impossible, putting at ease fans of all ages who tasted — but never truly consumed — a championship course over the last 50-plus years.

3. Philadelphia is the ultimate underdog story

Forget the longtime championship drought and, thus, years of league-wide ridicule. Forget the city’s affair with Hollywood’s affable boxing star, the one and only Rocky Balboa. This year’s Eagles team alone makes for its own underdog story, and that’s probably an understatement.

Here’s a group that finally found its next franchise quarterback only to see him go down with a season-ending injury — along with a Hall of Fame left tackle, a starting linebacker and a slew of other starters or captains — right as the playoffs drew close, then spat in the face of an “underdog” label in their own house, both knocking off the defending NFC champions and handing the universally lauded Minnesota Vikings this year’s most embarrassing loss en route to a Super Bowl with Nick Foles at quarterback.

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Nick Foles could be a Super Bowl winner, and that should tell you everything about this Eagles team’s fight. USATSI

Now, Vegas is playing right into the Eagles’ hands by making the Patriots rather comfortable favorites in Super Bowl LII. No one can blame the oddsmakers for hyping New England, but if you’re not in awe of how much adversity Philadelphia overcame to get to this point, you’re missing one of the most triumphant stories of the season. This isn’t just about players wearing German shepherd masks to poke fun at the odds. It’s about a team with a second-year coach exceeding everyone’s expectations, refusing to be slowed by otherwise detrimental injuries and, week after week, finding different ways to win. Without Carson Wentz and without the respect they’ve earned, especially in recent weeks, the Eagles are shaping up to be the underdog Philly’s always wanted — and, maybe, the one the rest of the NFL needs.

4. The Eagles are incredibly likable

Say what you will about their fans. Some of their NFC championship behavior was inexcusable, but it has also brought about a positive response, and the positive response is much more aligned with how this team has carried itself in 2017. If you want to get cute and ride with the “Evil Empire” description for New England, then the Eagles are absolutely, positively your “Republic” or “Resistance” or whatever “Star Wars” term for “good guys” you prefer.

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Carson Wentz’s spirit has been echoed by the rest of the Eagles’ locker room this season. USATSI

With Wentz at the helm, the Eagles made it clear from the get-go that they weren’t much of a selfish group, standing together not only as a socially conscious unit but as a spiritually connected team. Heavy on their faith in the face of adversity, they have mirrored their coach’s fluctuation between unusual calmness and perfectly timed aggressiveness, all while continuously talking up the selflessness that characterizes the locker room. Pick any one player from the starting lineup or the depth chart, and you won’t find an ego that’s overshadowed what Philly has done over the course of 2017.

Malcolm Jenkins worked tirelessly as a Pro Bowl player but also as a champion of social activism, meeting with local law enforcement, campaigning for legislation and eliciting $89 million in charity donations from the NFL. Chris Long donated his entire year’s base salary to fund students’ education. Wentz spent considerable time connecting with less privileged fans and providing for families in need before coaching up and cheering on the man who’s taken his chance of winning this city a Super Bowl.

The easiest thing to note about these Eagles is that they are more unified, more team-oriented and even more compassionate than most.

5. An Eagles win would restore hope for all, especially defenses

If the Patriots win (again), what do we learn? (Cue the scream from the back: “That cheating is OK!”)

Actually, a sixth New England title probably just reminds us that it’s never a bad thing to have a freakish 40-year-old quarterback or a grizzled head coach like Belichick. Conversely, an Eagles victory would be a victory for all, not merely because of the implications of a rare Patriots defeat but because Philadelphia is exactly the kind of team that every team can strive to be. Wentz obviously played a big role in the team’s run to the playoffs, so a franchise quarterback can’t be understated, but still, if the guys in green proved anything by clinching a spot in Super Bowl LII, it’s that everyday teams can still win championships — and so can defenses.

usatsi-10558415-bradham-barnett-eagles-nfc-title.jpg
Defense can still win championships, and the Eagles can prove that against the Patriots. USATSI

If Nick Foles, a guy whose lone Pro Bowl season was flushed down the toilet by lackluster years outside of Philly, can come back and win it all, anyone can have hope. If the Eagles can lose Wentz, left tackle Jason Peters, running back Darren Sproles, linebacker Jordan Hicks and kicker Caleb Sturgis and still beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl after weeks of being the underdogs, anyone can have hope. And if their ferocious defensive unit, which carried them through some latter stages of the season and stood pat not only against the Falcons but also the Vikings in the postseason, can withstand Brady and bring the Eagles a title, we can all have hope that, in the end, this game is, has been and always will be about the team — not just the quarterback or the coach, but the team.

 

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The Amazing Spider-Man #252

I knew that whenever something major happened in an issue in regard to a very popular character, that book would always become more valuable in the future.

Back in May of 1984 something wonderful happened. Marvel comics introduced the “New” Spider-Man. It was the same Spider-Man as before except they introduced the black costume. The cover was beautiful and harkened back to the cover of Amazing Fantasy #15, which was the first appearance of Spider-Man back in 1962. It was actually released the day after I was born.

I collected comic books my entire childhood into my early twenties. So in 1984 I was twenty-two years old and still into comics. I saw that the black costume was happening and told my dad about it. I knew that whenever something major happened in an issue in regard to a very popular character, that book would always become more valuable in the future. The death of Spider-Man’s girlfriend, Gwen Stacy (Spidey #121–122 June–July 1973) are very valuable books. Google Detective Comics #27 and you’ll really see what I mean.

I run all of this information by my father and being the man he is gets on the case. We also enlist the help of my brother-in-law. As my dad always said: “Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.”

We all go out and find as many copies of that issue as possible. By the end of the month we have collected 200 mint condition copies of the book. The cover price sixty cents. So I have spent $120 on 200 copies of the same comic book. Sounds ridiculous.

I put every one in a plastic comic book bag and place the lot in the bottom drawer of a black filing cabinet I have in my bedroom that houses my comic book collection.

That’s where they remained for three decades.

Thirty years later in 2014, I decided to see what they were worth and began selling off the comics on EBay. Each one sold for between $75 – $120 per book.

In 1984 a twenty-two year old kid invested $120 in 200 copies of the same comic book. In 2014 a fifty-two year old man redeemed that investment to the tune of over $17,000.

There’s comics you buy and save because they bring you great joy, and there those that you know that if you hold on to them long enough, you’ll make a pile of cash on. But which ones do you buy today?

 

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Karen – Why This Would Have Never Worked

The goal is to never measure life by how many breaths we take but by moments that take my breath away.

I matched with Karen on Tinder. Here is her profile:

Karen, 46

Pennsylvania State University

“I am loving my life! Every day is a new adventure and a new reason to smile and thank God for a new day. I’ve been given a new lease on life and am so grateful. The goal is to never measure life by how many breaths we take but by moments that take my breath away. Own your mistakes because they made you who you are today. And most importantly love and appreciate yourself because God does not make mistakes. If you say you’re in military and deployed, be prepared to prove it. Scammers just go away!”

 

Okay… This is the first time on an online dating site did I see a woman use the word God in their profile. (Red Flag) She also says nothing about herself or what her interests are or what her intentions are on this site. (Red Flag) She almost says nothing but life empowering clichés in her profile. (Red Flag) It also sounds like she’s been scammed by someone posing to be in the military. I have heard of this sort of thing and they just try to get these vulnerable middle-aged women to send them money.

Anyway… She reaches out to me first.

“Hi there.”

“Hi Karen! What prompted to swipe right on my profile?”

“I liked your profile and what it said.”

“Thanks. You look lovely. Would you like to meet up for lunch or a drink?

“Thanks, I think that would be great.”

“Yes. Should we exchange numbers.”

“Sure.” (provides phone number)

(I provide her with mine)

So I text her just to make the connection.

“Hi. It’s (My Name)

“Hi.”

“Hi Karen. I’m on my way to Rittenhouse Row!” (That’s a street festival that we have every year in the Spring.)

“Ah ok. Well try to have fun. I gotta go for now Hun. Gotta leave soon. But let’s chat later and see about planning a meeting ok?”

“Sounds great!”

“What’s your schedule like over the weekend? Maybe we can figure something for today or tomorrow. Weekends are usually best for me if possible.”

“I’m at Rittenhouse Row today. Tomorrow I’m out-of-town. (Bold faced lie – I’ll be on another date with someone else)  “Next weekend?”

“Hmm. Will see I guess.”

 

Okay, so clearly this lady is a little lonely. But what was the part about her saying:  “I gotta go for now Hun. Gotta leave soon.”

Hun? What are you a waitress at a diner?

Anyway. I don’t know what her deal is. I also didn’t care for that “Hmm. Will see I guess.” Isn’t that phrase: We’ll see instead of Will?

All that horseshit about taking your breath away and God already in there twice, I’m just sort of doing this to see how this short movie plays out. And sure enough it does.

A week goes by and I’ve basically forgotten about her. (Time moves fast on Tinder) I get a message on Tinder, not a text in my phone which is also weird.

“Hey (My Name) I don’t there is any point in meeting. I wish you the best. Tc.”

I don’t respond. I simply screenshot her profile and our dialogues for the blog. She gives no explanation as to why she no longer wants to meet me. I guess she figures that if we exchanged numbers we should meet that very weekend within the next 24 hours. Has she no life? But I suppose at her age she can’t wait around. She doesn’t want to waste her time on someone like me who’s busy and isn’t making my love life my #1 goal.

Phicklephilly’s not going to write itself.

 

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