Lorelei – My Daughter – Happy Valentine’s Day

What can I say on Valentine’s Day to my daughter?

First on and foremost lets see what Valentines day really is.

I created the link so I don’t have to deal with it.

There will be flowers, chocolate and missing my girlfriend this year.

What are you all up to?

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_Day

 

Valentine’s day is here and my girlfriend is in Japan with her family so I have no one to celebrate the stupid created money grab holiday with.

So who do I love?

Of course! It’s so easy. My daughter, Lorelei!

So I’ll just write to her today.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day to you, love.

You are the light of my life, and even though you rose from a broken marriage, we both loved you so much.

I can’t speak for your mom but I love you more that I love myself, and I know she does too.

As crazy and difficult anything has been between your mom and me, we both love you and would give our lives to protect you in this world.

 

I forgive your mom for everything, and I hope she is smiling right now.

 

Life is way too short to be bitter about anything.

 

I’m so happy that you and Brad have been in a relationship for over 4 years now! (We love him! He gets to come to Christmas every year at Janice’s house!)

You have worked from the day you graduated high school, and been so consistent in everything you’ve pursued.

You’ve been in the same job for the last two years and have outlasted most of your coworkers, and you’ve been promoted.

 

I’m so proud of you my only daughter.

 

You’ve been in the arts since you were 4 years old. Singing, choir, acting, drama, shows, and plays non-stop. Theater Camp, and then high school plays, non-stop.

You came to me at 18 to escape the clutches of your mom and flourished here in Philly.

I love that, because we both made great decisions to come to this city for retribution and rebirth. Me in 2007, and you in 2015. Our family is from here and we belong here.

 

You and I had a great conversation tonight about how you have been making music again in your life.

Lor, you are a brilliant singer, but as an artist myself I knew I could never push you when you arrived here in Philly at 18.

Artists can never be controlled.

As much as a parent I wanted to encourage your talent I knew I was powerless, so I did nothing. The talent either thrives or perishes.

There is no middle ground when it comes to art.

 

Lorelei, you healed and flourished here in Philly.

I started to see your art return to you slowly. (That’s how it always occurs)

 

Long story short, you have now connected with a guitarist and you are going to start playing paid gigs at a bar here in Philly. You are very much in control of the set list and the guitarist is on board, so this is really happening.

I couldn’t be happier.

 

I’m a big fan of: “If you’ve got the gift, use it”

 

But it’s happening and I’m so excited! The former musician’s daughter that is far more talented than him is now going forth with her art.

You guys even have a venue and will be getting paid, which puts them light years ahead of anything I was doing back in 1979!

I’m so proud of my daughter and will invite everyone I to her first show…. I know it will be amazing.

 

Umm…. I’m going to write these last words just so they’re on the internet forever for her from me….

 

Happy Valentine’s Day, my love!

 

My beautiful bird….

 

Go forth and sing.

I have wished for this day for so long, and now it’s here.

This moment in your life is so important.

Now you strike.

Daughter, it is your time to fly high, but not to close to the sun.

Protect your wings.

Life is fleeting and fragile.

Enjoy yourself.

 

Your Dad will always be here for you as long as I can stand.

 

As i get older I’ve learned that life is always moving fast.

 

In a short amount of time…

 

This will all seem like a long time ago.

 

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Racquel Writes! 5 Lessons I Learned from my Divorce

via 5 Lessons I Learned from my Divorce

 

http://www.racquelwrites.com

 

 

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You’re Twice As Likely To Get Divorced If These 7 Things Are True

https://va.topbuzz.com/s/veSy

 

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What Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos’ Divorce Could Mean for Amazon

https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/10/tech/jeff-bezos-divorce-amazon/index.html

 

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How to Survive All Seven Stages of a Brutal Breakup

How to Survive All Seven Stages of a Brutal Breakup

 

Everybody loves the 1962 classic “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do,” but singer/songrwriter Neil Sedaka didn’t get the story entirely correct. Breaking up isn’t just hard to do. It’s freaking torture. And almost everyone roaming the earth has gone through the seven stages of a nasty breakup at least once in their life.

But if you’re finding it difficult to bounce back from a breakup, go easy on yourself. Just like losing a loved one or a beloved pet, breakups bring up deep, deep emotions that can include grief. This is totally normal, and you need to give yourself plenty of time to grieve to really get over this hump. Knowing what to expect in each stage of the breakup recovery process can make it easier to ask for help from friends and family when it’s needed — and may remind you to be gentle with yourself.

And actually turns out that there is science behind why going through a breakup is so tough. In 2016, Stanford psychologists discovered that you are more likely to take a breakup harder if you internalize it, seeing the rejection as a reflection of your potentially flawed personality. In five studies conducted on 891 participants, people who felt their personality was fixed without the room for growth or change held on to a relationship rejection for much longer.

It’s hard not to feel the sting after a relationship ends, and it’s even harder not to take it personally. But understanding that it is possible to make it through and even see changes in yourself on the other side can make the grief gauntlet more manageable. Taking the time to heal can help, but if you find yourself stuck in anxiety, anger or depression following a breakup, it’s important to seek professional help. Sometimes, the perspective of an outside professional is just what we need to point us in a new, healthier direction

How to Survive All Seven Stages of a Brutal Breakup

 

Breakup recovery is a process, and as you’re putting the pieces of your life back together, you may have experienced one or more of these breakup stages by now:

 

1. Shock: “What the hell just happened?”

Shock is the body’s natural protection against pain. And when your relationship first ends, you just might not want to deal with what’s coming next. It may be too scary, too lonely, too confusing. A state of disbelief could last minutes, weeks or even months and likely lasts longer if you are on the receiving end of an unexpected breakup. Don’t be surprised if you feel a sense of blurriness about the actual breakup scene, a literal loss of breath, or trouble sleeping.

Do/Do not:

Do prescribe yourself calming cures like meditation or long walks.

Do not freak out. You will make sense of all of this!

 

2. Denial: “This is so not happening.”

Denial is rejection of reality and a storage of feelings. The thinking is that, if you don’t accept the heartbreak, then it didn’t really happen, thus leaving hope for reunion. During this stage of a breakup it is common to call, email or even Facebook-stalk — anything that feels remotely “normal” about the relationship — in an effort to put dealing with the heartbreak on hold.

Do/Do not:

Do open up to a journal or trusted friend to begin unleashing fears, identifying unreasonable thoughts and more.

Do not minimize the situation. Pretending your breakup doesn’t have to be dealt with will lead to emotional numbness and leave you stuck.

 

3. Isolation: “I just want to sit in this all by myself.”

Once you’ve recognized the breakup, you get into the dirty work: Dealing with the dissolution of the relationship. You may replay the relationship over and over in your mind, trying to pinpoint where it fell apart and how it could have been saved. Your thoughts may feel very scattered and disorganized. This stage of grief has you in withdrawal; you don’t even feel like updating your Facebook status or checking your voicemails. You may draw your blinds and not even want to leave the house. Sitting in silence, darkness or a pint of ice cream feels better than going outside and admitting to the world that, yes, it’s over.

Do/Do not:

Do take regular showers and create reasons to face the day (work, social activities).

Do not indulge in self-pity by letting irrational thoughts like “No one will ever love me again” take over.

4. Anger: “I hate you for breaking my heart!”

In this stage, your heart goes from sad to raging mad. It becomes fueled with anger towards your ex for whatever his part in the breakup was, and/or toward yourself for your part. During this stage of breakup, you may find yourself burning pictures of him, holding his stuff hostage, slandering him to his friends or worse. If you are angry with yourself, you may do a lot of self-talk — regretful thoughts and angry conversation with yourself. The deeper desire here is often to place blame.

Do/Do not:

Do feel, write or talk about your anger.

Do not act on it.

 

5. Bargaining: “What will it take to get him back?”

Sometimes involving prayers, this stage is often about getting your ex back, but other times, it is about absolving your own guilt if you did something wrong that caused the breakup. Desperate to negotiate with yourself or your ex, you may go to extreme measures to make deals or become something else (thinner, less jealous, etc.) to make amends — when in truth, it is just about making the current pain go away.

Do/Do not:

Do create a self-love list complete with what makes you happy and things you want for your future.

Do not include wanting your ex back in the above list!

 

6. Depression: “I will never get over him.”

You realize the magnitude of your loss in this stage of grief, and it can feel all too overwhelming. You may wind up in a state of deep sadness that can even resemble mild depression. At this point, recalling what your life was like prior to your relationship or what it could be like now can be hard. Just getting out of bed feels difficult, and you may even feel physical aches and pains perpetuated by deep feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and sadness.

Do/Do not:

Do surround yourself with positive people and lots of sunshine.

Do not fall victim to unhealthy behaviors such as binge eating or drinking.

 

7. Acceptance: “I understand why I was with him, why I’m not now, and that I will be better than just OK.”

The acceptance stage of a breakup makes all the other really tough ones worth it. This is the one that finally gives you that welcome sense of exhalation. You come to realize what the past meant and what the future can hold. The sun begins to shine, and you begin to feel like yourself again, ready to move onward and upward.

Do/Do not:

Do celebrate getting through your breakup.

Do not be surprised if you still feel moments of sadness from time to time; it’s normal. Just keep on your positive path!

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Dating and Relationship Advice – How to Get Over Someone Who Cheated on You and Ways to Repair the Damage.

“This is a MUST READ for anyone who has ever been cheated on!”

 

I feel this is one of the most important posts I’ve ever written. Being betrayed in an intimate relationship is probably the worst thing that can strike down a couple. Many of us have been in this situation, and it is a searing, corrosive moment in our lives.

But I feel this must be written to help those of you have faced this horrow or are currently living through this.

I hope those who will most benefit from this advice will truly listen to my words and grow through their pain.

Having someone cheat on you isn’t a walk in the park. The real challenge is learning how to get over someone cheating on you and dealing with the emotions.

Let’s get this out-of-the-way, no one actually likes being cheated on. Even if you wanted to break up with them already, it’s always a horrible feeling to know that someone went behind your back and was dishonest with you. It takes times to know how to get over someone cheating on you and repairing the emotional damage. Now, I’ve been cheated on once. I went to teach English at a summer camp for two weeks, and he met some girl at a music festival and slept with her. He called me while I was working and told me what happened. Of course, we broke up and though I tried to play it off as no big deal, it really affected me. Did I want to marry this guy? No. Did I see him as the father of my children? No. But at that moment, he was someone I was trying to get to know and enjoying the time spent together. Here’s the thing, I didn’t try to stay with him and see if we could work it out. In my mind, I knew that it was over.

How to get over someone cheating on you. But for some people, they don’t want to leave the relationship and would rather invest the time in repairing it. Now, is this a bad decision? No. And for some couples, they work through the problems and become even stronger, but it’s a hard path to take. Either way, you’re going to be dealing with a lot of emotions and feelings about what happened. It’s not easy, but you have to do it for you.

#1 You need to make a decision.

When someone cheats on you, you need to make a decision. Are you going to stay with them or not? If you’re trying to figure out how to get over someone cheating on you, remember that for some people, the decision is easy, while for others it’s much more difficult. If you have children, your decision not only affects you, but it also affects them as well. But what’s important is that whatever you decide to do, you do it. That way, you can focus on the next steps for self-healing.

#2 Express your emotions.

I cannot emphasize this enough. No matter if you think you’re mentally strong, you need to talk to someone about what happened. Shutting up and going through the pain on your own isn’t going to work that well for you. If anything, you just bottle up all your emotions and eventually explode. Talk to the people around you that you love or talk to a therapist as they’ll be able to help you make some difficult decisions.

#3 You can’t change what happened.

I know, I know, you’re probably thinking that if you only did this or you only did that, but here’s the thing, you can’t change what happened. Now, you learn from it. You need to reflect on the relationship and look at what happened, what you need to work on, and how you want your future relationships to look like.

#4 Be sad.

Listen, if you want to spend an entire weekend watching Netflix and eating ice cream, do it. If you want to lay on a beach for a week crying, do it. The point is, be sad, regardless of whether or not you stay with them. You’re angry, you feel betrayed, so let it all out. Because if you choose to stay with them, you have to move past this.

#5 Talk to your partner.

You need to talk to your partner and tell them exactly how you feel. And, I know this may be hard, but you need to let them tell you how they feel as well if you truly want to understand how to get over someone cheating on you. Communication with your partner is essential after they cheat on you, whether you stay with them or not. They need to know how their actions affected you, and you need closure with what happened.

#6 Remove them from your life.

That is if you’re choosing to break up with them. If not, then you need to see a couple’s therapist to help you work through your issues. But if you’re choosing to leave them then fully leave them. Tell them that you need space away from them and ask them to stop contacting you until you contact them. Of course, you may never want to speak to them again, and that’s totally okay. But you need to cut the cord until you grieve and mourn.

#7 Don’t rush it.

I know you want to get over this as fast as you can. But here’s the thing, you shouldn’t try to “quicken” the process because everyone is different. If you’ve been with your partner for years, you can’t expect yourself to get over them in a couple of days. This will take months and months of healing before you start to feel better. So, don’t rush it, you need to go through the process at your own pace.

#8 Stay off of their social media.

What I mean is, don’t creep them. Please, just don’t do it. I know you want to see if they’re regretting their decision and posting sad songs on Facebook. Trust me, I know, but it’s not going to help you get over them. If anything, you’ll become obsessed with seeing their statuses and photos, seeing who they’re with, but in the end, it doesn’t matter.

#9 If you choose to stay with them, define your relationship.

What type of relationship do you want you and your partner to have? Yes, you went through a rough patch, and now you both are focused on making the relationship work. So, you need to decide how you and your partner want the relationship to look and what’s missing.

#10 It’s not going get better overnight.

Whether you’re trying to make the relationship work or trying to move on, it’s not going to get better overnight. This takes time to work through these things. You will need time to learn to trust your partner again, and they need time to work through their infidelity as well.

#11 Don’t blame yourself. Listen, we all make mistakes.

So, they may have told you that you worked too much, and they weren’t getting enough attention. Did they ever express this to you? Or was their way to deal with it to find something else immediately? Don’t blame yourself, because a relationship has two people involved, not just you.

#12 Don’t necessarily listen to your friends.

Your friends don’t want to see you hurt, so they’re obviously going to try to hook you up with other people or get you to go out which isn’t a bad idea, but if you’re not ready then you’re not ready. Plus, if you choose to stay with your partner instead of breaking up, you’ll probably hear an earful from your friends. It’s not their life, it’s yours. Listen to what they have to say, but, eventually, you’re the one that will make the decision, not them.

#13 One day, this won’t bother you anymore.

It’s a strange thing, especially when someone cheats on you, but eventually, this won’t bother you anymore. I know, right now you’re thinking that you may never get over this, and it’ll haunt you until you die, but it won’t. There will be a moment when you just stop thinking about it. It just won’t come to your mind or if it does, you won’t feel anger. It’ll be a moment of your life.

Now that you know how to how to get over someone cheating on you, it’s best to really focus on yourself and repair the damage that’s been done.

 

Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on this post!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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