Wildwood Daze – Summer of 1979 – Lola – Part 3

We finally rose from the sea and went back to our blanket to dry out and get some sun. There was more hot kissing and touching on the blanket. God…Lola was beautiful and perfect.

I had the Polaroid so I took some photos that day. Here is the actual photos from that day in August 1979 with the girl I fell in love with at the end of the summer of ’79.

Isn’t she beautiful?  Great smile and look at those lovely legs. I adored her!

Here’s another one that is very damaged because I carried it around in my wallet for a year. Polaroid doesn’t hold up like Kodak photos. But despite the damage it still captures the joy of this lovely girl and her smile! (And those sweet legs!)

I fell in love with Lola that day.

No… I fell in love with her at Botto’s Arcade yesterday.

Today just solidified it.

She’s sharp, beautiful…and I am smitten. Lola was soooo cute!

It was a beautiful day and one I would never forget. I remember her rising from the ocean that day as we walked back to the warmth of the blanket I had laid for us that day. We were giggling and talking about some drama she was having with her friend that was coming down for Labor Day.

Not every man has this moment but I have had it on both coast of this great country.

Lola is soaked. Her brown one piece clings to her supple, ample body. She looks more beautiful to me than any time I ever saw her in the arcade. I didn’t even know her. Just another teenage girl in a pair of jeans shooting pool. But here she was rising from the ocean beside me like a Bond girl. Her suit clung to her body. It was getting late, the beach was cooling, her ripe breasts are glistening and her nipples pout through the fabric of her suit. Her suit clung to her sex and though it I could see the impression her plump vulva framed by a trim bush of curls between her legs.

I loved the 1970’s. Women looked like women back then.

She walked ahead of me because she was a little chilly and went for her towel. Her buttocks were perfect caramel moons that crept from the bottom of her suit.

Lola was an exquisite beauty that was now in my life.

The warmth of lying on a warm blanket with a beautiful girl. No preparation. Just two people together. Two teenagers just kissing. I loved kissing Lola. All of our kisses were perfect.

When have you ever been able to say that about anyone?

I have only been able to say that one more time in my life.

I’m french kissing Lola and it’s feels so good. I love this girl. This has to be right because I’ve had no anxiety or fear. I kiss her deeply and run my hand down her full supple thigh. God she’s beautiful. I think this could be something. Even if she has to go home, I’m hooked.

I never want to stop kissing her, but she has to go to work. It’s so hard to let her go. Lola’s thighs are wet and salty from the ocean and I kiss and lick the salty sea from her legs. She giggles… She is the most delicious, sweetest thing. This could somehow work.

I don’t even know at this age how but desire is the only thing driving my mind right now.

We had the honor of spending a few lovely hours together that day.

Lola had to go to her waitress job so she had to bolt.

I hate to realize my love is giving me sustained stiffness in my lower regions.

“Okay… I’ll walk you back.”

We gather our stuff and I walk her off the beach at dusk. It’s always a magical time at the beach that not everybody gets to experience. Once the sun goes down to a disc the color and size of a new penny in the west, the sand cools.

You’ve conquered the day in Wildwood.

You’ve swam, you’ve sunned. You’ve flirted with all of the life guards and you’re done.

The day is all the way done for the beach. The sand feels so good when it cools. You’ve won, you spent the afternoon at the beach. It’s glorious. You’ve seen it all and everyday is a new adventure and a new possibility.  Worst case scenario is you got a killer tan to look great in the club that night.

I walked Lola back to her house and said our goodbyes. She quickly looks around and kisses me. That was a beautiful moment.

I want to see her again as soon as I can.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Miscellaneous Stories: Real Life Sugar Babies Describe What It’s Like To Have A Sugar Daddy – Part 2

Sugaring Can Be A Win-Win

From handshoes101:

“Former sugar baby here!

It’s something I did for a few months, and it was a great way to help me out of a difficult financial situation.

To start off, before any sugar relationship starts, there is usually a platonic meet and greet over coffee/dinner/drinks so both parties can see if they actually like each other. Out of every 3 meet and greets I went to I probably only saw 1 again. There’s no sex and usually no money is exchanged (although I have been given money at meet and greets a few times). Sometimes you will also discuss allowance at the meet and greet, but you can also do this before or after.

Allowance is always agreed upon before any actual dates, and it can either be a monthly or weekly amount, or pay per meet (PPM). I used to always do PPM.

Once that’s all established, you start having dates with your sugar daddy. These can be anything from hotel meetups for just sex, to going to an art show, dinner, and drinks, before heading back to his place for sex. It’s never said out loud but sex is absolutely expected.

In my experience, most guys who are sugar daddies are very busy business men who don’t have the time or energy to sustain a real relationship. The money ensures that everything will go smoothly, and they still get a genuine (or what I make seem to be genuine) emotional, fun, and intimate experience.

I enjoyed sugaring when I did it, because it was a good way for me to make money, while still being in control of who I spent time with.

My regular rate was 500€ per date. For one sugar daddy that I really liked, I went down to 350€ because he wasn’t super rich, and that’s a more average number for my location (Berlin, Germany). I know that in some places in America the average per date can be as low as $200 or as high as $600. But even the local average isn’t the best guide for choosing a number, because it depends on what you value yourself at, what you’re comfortable with, what the daddy values you at, and what he can afford.

Also, monthly allowances are quite common, but I don’t have any personal experience with those. They depend on the same factors though, along with how many times you meet per month.”

Some Sugar Babies Get All The Perks

From misscolinsxx:

“It’s been on and off for me, my family is well off financially however I’m not the kind of person that would expect my mum to cater to my every whim and need so that’s why I decided to get a sugar daddy.

So the process or usually goes something like this, you go for lunch/dinner/drinks for a meet and greet and if you choose to continue then an arrangement will be discussed e.g meet me 5 times a month and I will pay you $500 per week, $10,000 monthly or $1000 PPM (pay per meet).

From then on your dates can range from holidays to going to a work function or simply going to the cinemas and dinner afterwards, essentially you’re an on call girlfriend/boyfriend.

My arrangement was that I meet him a few times a month in exchange for 5000€ (per month) which equates to just under $8000(he lived in Paris and I live in NZ) and I would get all the lovely perks such as shopping sprees at designer stores, cosmetic work, his black Amex card just whatever I wanted (within reason of course).”

Warm And Fuzzy On The Outside, Cold And Calculating On The Inside

From AmethystRose:

“I used to sugar, and escort – I’m taking a break from both because of mental health reasons.

Honestly, I’d prefer not to go into my stories too much. I’ve been in two long-term sugar arrangements – One at 16, one at 17. 700/800 per week + gifts, respectively, for roughly one date and one round of sex and post-sex cuddling. It wasn’t negotiated that way, it’s just what ended up happening. I did negotiate the money, though – silly little me actually negotiated down from 1.2k/1k respectively, because I thought too much cash lying around would tip off my parents. I was such a stupid f*cking child, ugh. Granted, I shouldn’t have been sugaring anyway, but you know.

Being a sugar baby is not work for just anyone. If you want to succeed in it, as an actual business venture, you need to be very cold, brutal, and detached from both men and sex (or at least, sex with those particular men). It’s inherently a very unbalanced dynamic – he’s wealthy and has a lot more life experience than his college-aged (or potentially younger) sugar baby. It isn’t uncommon for these men to try twist that to their advantage.

Honestly, sugaring isn’t worth the hassle unless a) you want professional connections and are smart and charismatic enough to make them through dating your SD or b) you cannot handle escorting.”

It’s Not For Everyone

From imhereforthemeta:

“I did it once… by that I mean one attempt/date. I was going on a lot of dates so I could experience the far away city I moved to and I decided YOLO and responded to a sort of skeezy ad I found locally. TBH I had just left my boyfriend of about 7 years after some really f*cked up stuff happened and I was pretty numb.

I had the guy pick me up under a false name at an apartment that wasn’t mine. He was about 55 years old and we got together on the precedent of a ‘sugar baby’ relationship sort of ‘trial run/first date’… He took me to a really fancy Italian place. I admit, I was super fascinated with what made the guy work… like why are you trying to pick up chicks… over half your age?

Turns out there was nothing interesting about him, and promises to pay my bills and buy me things were very unappealing when he started opening his mouth. He was married and a total pig about his wife, who he basically described as a god damn saint but who was too old/ugly for him now so he f*cks younger girls instead. He kept commenting about how I was the same age/etc as his daughters (whom he was very proud of, ick) I was very uncomfortable at this point but had no car, so I just kept agreeing with him and buttering him up. I then decided to proceed to order the most expensive things I could off of the menu and chowed down.

He dropped me off at that apartment a few miles from my house and we parted ways. He tried to kiss me. It was gross.

I don’t think I would have taken him up on the full baby offer regardless of his personality because the idea of that kind of dependency makes me anxious, but yeah.”

Beware Of Salt Daddies

From Dahliayy:

“I’ve met 3 salt daddies. These two kept on talking about sex before I even met. They asked for nudes and even tried sexting with me. Every time we tried to meet they would cancel last minute, give some stupid excuse and then try to lure me to their house or whatever hotel they booked. One met up with me and then left me with the lunch bill…

One time me and a POT [potential sugar daddy] agreed to meet up for lunch just to know each other. After we both ordered he suddenly started asking if I’m interested on going to a hotel with him after lunch (which ofc I said no). We tried to talk over lunch but GOD HE WAS SUCH AN ASS. I hated all of his views but idk why he was so smitten with me. Dude kept on touching me and I just tried to avoid and eat my lunch as fast as possible.

I clearly didn’t like this guy so after we were done with lunch, I just said that we’re not getting along well and I wasn’t interested with having an arrangement with him. He didn’t take it very well so he just straight up walked out of the restaurant and left me with the bill. I didn’t have enough money but I was so lucky to have my friends around to pay the bill for me.”

 

Check out the conclusion tomorrow!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Cherie – Chapter 30 – Loving You Sunday Morning – Part 1

“At my age to have a woman who will destroy you in bed at least three times a night, and love you and be grateful is an amazing gift. So I will say to any of the men out there who are middle-aged… hang in there. Keep living and put your heart out there. Who gives a shit if it’s been broken several times. Don’t be bitter. That’s just you drinking the poison hoping somebody else dies. Total bullshit. Keep your heart open. Get the fuck up and try again. She’s out there. Somewhere. That special lady is out there and waiting to love the shit out of you. It happened to me and it can happen to you. Don’t be chained to your past. Let go of the bars of the cell you’ve been keeping yourself in and walk the fuck out.

She’s waiting.”

Church gave me the motherload of booze last year and that’s when this happened and when I wrote it. I was out of my usual 1.75 of Sazerac’s Platinum 7 and reached for the bottle of Karlson’s Swedish vodka that he gave me. Apparently Swedish vodka is a great motivator and I cracked off this tome.

Can you imagine if you could conjure up the perfect girlfriend? She’s doesn’t live with you and isn’t around all of the time. But she’s a nymphomaniac and when you’re with her it’s always amazing.  A girl who is loving, giving, sexy, and an absolute she-cat in the bedroom. She always says she loves you more when you tell her you love her.

A wonderful girl.

I got a text from Achilles Saturday that he was going to be at the new salon doing some stone work with the mason. If I wanted to take Sunday off I could because he’d be there and could handle it himself. I love working Sunday’s because it’s slow and gives me something to do. I usually crack off a thousand words for the blog between 11am to 4pm when we close.

I told him that it would be fine and immediately texted Cherie. I ask her what she’s doing Sunday. She says she’s babysitting that day. I’ve worked every Sunday at the salon for a year. I explain to her why I’m off. She tells me it’s unfortunate and that she’ll try to figure something out but can’t promise me anything.

I’m fine with that. When I was in a relationship with Annabelle, (See: Annabelle – 2013 -2014 Nice to Meet You) Everything we did was fit in and around her schedule because she was so selfish.

That’s not ever been the case with lovely Cherie. She’s made every effort to see me whenever she can. She actually has a truly busy and complex schedule unlike Annabelle who just couldn’t manage her thoughts or her calendar. Cherie has REAL responsibilities and makes a real effort to spend time with me. She’s always loving, calm and consistent when it comes to our relationship.

I love her for it.

She texts me back Saturday night. She tells me she can come to Philly in the morning, for a few hours while her son and his cousins go to church with her parents.

Bingo!

Cherie says if she can make the 8:30 train, she can be at Suburban Station at 9:40am. She will have to be back on the 1:05pm train back home. That gives us roughly a little over 3 hours together.

Cherie is great. I get a day off and she works it out so she can travel 50 minutes each way to spend 3 hours with me. I couldn’t have invented a better woman than this wonderful lady.

I set my alarm to get up early. I just want some time to prep the room, tidy up and get a bite to eat. Because I know what’s going to happen between 10am and 12:30pm in this room. There’s no illusion to either of us what is needed here today. Probably more needed by me than Cherie. (But that’s debatable based on her usual hunger)

The next morning I get a text: “Good morning love. I’ll be at Suburban at 9:40.”

Goddess. My baby is on point.

My place is ready and so am I. Alright… I head up to Manhattan Bagels at 18th and Sansom in Rittenhouse and get a breakfast sandwich. It’s been chilly. I feel the wind bite my cheeks as I make the trek to 18th and JFK. It’s the closest point for me to enter Suburban and be underground for the longest time to escape the cold.

She always comes down on the same train but for some reason we have yet to meet in the same spot. For some reason I’m never at the stairs of the platform when she comes up. I know it’s partly my fault, and I should be better at this but it’s just a little thing that’s ours. The last part of her trip is underground so there’s no service. So there’s a gap in communication until she pops up from the platform to the station. She makes a move and says she’s up on the street in front of Walgreens at 17th and JFK and it’s cold. I tell her to come back down and get to her location and intercept my queen.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Celebrity Sightings: Elisany da Cruz Silva

‘I have always wanted to go out with a tall girl and she came and fit that perfectly.”

 

The world’s tallest bride: 6ft 8in Brazilian teenager to marry her 5ft 4in boyfriend.

  • Elisany suffers from gigantism from a tumour on her pituitary gland
  • Couple have been together three years and have lived together for a year
  • Elisany still draws stares but Francinaldo says he is proud to show her off
  • The pair want a long engagement but are already planning the wedding
  • Although only 18, she hopes to conceive soon due to fears over her fertility

 

Brazil’s loftiest teen is set to become the world’s tallest bride after her compact fiancée popped the big question.

Aspiring model Elisany da Cruz Silva – who is a staggering 6ft 8ins tall – has been dating 5ft 4ins Francinaldo da Silva Carvalho for more than three years.

Despite a massive 1ft 4ins between them, Francinaldo had no problem increasing the distance by dropping to one knee after a romantic stroll along the beach.

With well over a foot difference between their heights, Elisany and Francinaldo have more difficulty than most couples kissing after becoming engaged

With well over a foot difference between their heights, Elisany and Francinaldo have more difficulty than most couples kissing after becoming engaged

Brazil's tallest teen Elisany Da Silva accepts her new fiancee Francinaldo Carvalho's proposal on March 29, 2014 in Salinopolis, Brazil

Francinaldo gets down on one knee to ask his girlfriend of three years to marry him

Brazil’s tallest teen Elisany Da Silva accepts her new fiancee Francinaldo Carvalho’s proposal on March 29, 2014 in Salinopolis, Brazil

The lovestruck pair have shared a small home in the Brazilian town of Salinopolis for one year and are hoping to soon hear the pitter patter of tiny feet.

Elisany is so stuck on having a child that she is willing to adopt if she does not fall pregnant soon – despite being only 18.

The youngster is worried that she may not conceive because of a form of gigantism that was caused when a tumour grew on her pituitary gland.

Despite this the couple are still looking forward to a long and happy life together.

Remembering the romantic proposal, Elisany said: ‘I told him many times, ‘do not ask me to marry you because my answer will be no’ – I think that’s what he was thinking.

‘I was so nervous when I saw him there. I don’t even know how I coped.’

Construction worker Francinaldo added: ‘I have always wanted to go out with a tall girl and she came and fitted into that perfect.

Elisany

Despite planning a long engagement, Elisany has already picked out her wedding dress

Despite planning a long engagement, Elisany has already picked out her wedding dress

Elisany's height still draws stares, even in her hometown, but Francinaldo says the attention doesn't bother him and he is proud to show her off

Elisany’s height still draws stares, even in her hometown, but Francinaldo says the attention doesn’t bother him and he is proud to show her off

The couple is planning on a long engagement despite Elisany already having a dress for the big day.

‘We think how will the preparations for the wedding be, the church, the best men and bridesmaids,’ added Francinaldo.

‘We have taken just one step towards the wedding – which was me asking her to marry me.

‘We are giving it some time to get it all in order.’

The newly engaged couple have not always seen eye to eye and Francinaldo had to work hard to get the ring on Elisany’s finger.

‘When we met I had already turned 16,’ she said.

‘I was still a bit childish and so I was just playing around with him for a while and I got so annoyed with him – as if he was a rival that I hated.

‘I just didn’t like him and wanted to hit him every time we met.’

But little Francinaldo has a big heart and remembers their meeting a little differently.

He said: ‘The first time I saw her I went to get some bread and I noticed her from a distance.

‘I checked her out and she also checked me out straight away.

‘Then I just thought, “I need to be with that girl”. I always found her beautiful.’

The newly engaged couple have not always seen eye to eye and Francinaldo had to work hard to get the ring on Elisany's finger

The newly engaged couple have not always seen eye to eye and Francinaldo had to work hard to get the ring on Elisany's finger

The newly engaged couple have not always seen eye to eye and Francinaldo had to work hard to get the ring on Elisany’s finger, but the couple now can not wait to wed

And the hate eventually turned to love for Elisany when she became jealous of Francinaldo’s prowess with the ladies.

‘He was talking to another girl and I was jealous,’ she said.

‘He intrigued me – I wanted to know more about him.’

Despite the pair being completely in love, not everyone is as happy about the new engagement.

Elisany’s mother, Ana Maria Ramos, said: ‘I don’t know how this could happen – this proposal.

‘It was a surprise – no-one was expecting it.

Elisany seen here as a young, aspiring model,  is so stuck on having a child that she is willing to adopt if she does not fall pregnant soon - despite being only 18

Elisany seen here as a young, aspiring model, is so stuck on having a child that she is willing to adopt if she does not fall pregnant soon – despite being only 18

‘In spite of everything she is still a very young girl with a lot ahead of her.

‘She is sometimes a bit difficult to him but I’ve never seen him treating her badly.

‘He has been an excellent person.’

Elisany still draws stares while walking down the street where she has lived her entire life and is often referred to as the giant girl.

Francinaldo said: ‘I keep telling her to get out more so that people don’t feel so curious about her.
‘When we go for a walk people keep staring saying ‘look at that giant girl’.

‘It really bothers me because people don’t have the consciousness of thinking that she’s also a human being.’

But despite drawing stares Francinaldo cannot wait to show off his new fiancie.

He added: ‘ am always boasting about being with her.

‘Everyone thinks she is beautiful – my friends think she is beautiful.

‘They always ask me to take her to meet them but she won’t go because she’s embarrassed.

‘She is a person that is very different and I know I can make her happy.

‘Our relationship is special because she understands me and I understand her.’

The world’s tallest teenage girl walks hands in hands with her boyfriend, the picture of young love despite a staggering 1ft 6in height difference.

Elisany da Cruz Silva, 17, measures an unbelievable 6ft 8in tall and has to bend down to plant a kiss on her 5ft 4in lover Francinaldo da Silva Carvalho, 22.

The youngster, from Salinopolis in Brazil, has a form of gigantism because of a tumor on her pituitary gland, which regulates growth. Doctors have since removed the tumor.

Okay. I love this 5’4″ little guy closing this incredible queen.  Because as we all know now at phicklphilly I love women’s legs. To have a woman like this would be like winning the lottery. Sure her head seems a little small, but she has miles of legs. I would worship Elisany forever. I’ve never seen anyone like her and probably won’t again. I love that this dude had the power at his small stature to pursue this amazing woman.

When I look upon her I want to chop her down like a tree and make mad love to her. (Sorry they’re all the same size on their backs) Haters gonna hate. If you have a fetish and you love something, if it can be more or bigger or more intense you want it more. Like any drug, anything worth doing is worth overdoing. 

Elisany is an extraordinary lady and I am smitten. I’m happy for this couple but Elisany represents the overdose that I crave of my love of women’s legs. They go on for days!

It’s my thing and I’m just so happy I stumbled upon an article about this extraordinary woman.

If you love something, you always want more of it. That’s me.

Francinaldo (Her boyfriend) casts a great shadow and at 5’4″ is a giant among men.

Well done Sir!

My last two previous girlfriends were 5’11 and 6 foot. You are a King in my book! You’re my hero, dude.

And lastly… It must be nice knowing a woman you can always look up to!

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Dating and Relationship Advice – How To Make Your Relationship More Fun, According To Experts

No matter how much you love your partner, no matter how great you think your relationship is, it can sometimes feel a little… boring. But there’s no shame in that; it’s something that happens naturally and you may have to put in some extra effort to make your relationship fun again. “After you’ve been with your partner for a considerable amount of time, it’s normal for the honeymoon phase to end,” says therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW. “As we get into daily routines and have outside responsibilities — such as work, our social life, and self care — we often find our relationship becomes stale. If you prioritize and focus on getting the spark back, it certainly can be fixed.”

It’s easy to think that a relationship should naturally be at 110 percent excitement levels at all time — that if you’re really compatible then it will be non-stop fireworks without any work. But that’s just not true. “When things get boring, there needs to be an effort made to make things fun and exciting again,” relationship therapist Carolyn Cole, LCPC, LMFT, NCC tells us. “Things won’t become exciting without putting in some work. But, it can be fun and doesn’t need to feel like work!”

So if you feel like your relationship needs a little boost of fun, don’t panic about it. Here’s what you should try.

Surprise Each Other

Surprising each other is an easy way to make things feel more fun. “Routines can kill even the most loving relationships and make them feel boring. Bring back the spontaneity,” dating coach Shawnda Patterson tells Bustle.

My girlfriend and I regularly swap who plans date night and we don’t tell the other one what we’re doing until the day. It’s not hard to do, but it still manages keeps things a little more exciting then going to the same restaurant every Friday.

Try A New Activity

It can be fun to try something completely different with your partner, so go ice skating, rock climbing, or try a sushi-making class. And if you’re terrible at it? All the more fun — you can laugh through it together. Just be careful how you breach it with your partner. “Instead of blatantly telling your partner that you are bored, perhaps you suggest that you’ve been stuck in [a] rut … and you think it would be fun for the both of you to do something new together,” says clinical psychologist Dr. Sarah Williams.

Give Yourself Some Phone-Free Time

If you want to really have fun with your partner, you need to connect with them — and that means putting the phone away. “Mobile phones can have a negative impact on our attention span, as well as our ability to open up and communicate with others,” David Brudö, co-founder and CEO at mental wellbeing and personal development app Remente, tells Bustle. So make an agreement to put the phones to one side and really focus on each other. You may just remember why you fell in love with them in the first place if you stop mindlessly scrolling.

Flirt More

Couples who stop flirting are couples who stop anticipating,” Certified Relationship Coach Chris Armstrong tells Bustle. “Things go blasé and what was once an unpredictable stroll is now an expected lull.”

So make sure you keep the flirting going. Send sexy text messages, kiss more, compliment each other, and inject some of that fun back in that came so easily when you were first together. It may feel awkward at first, but try your best to start flirting again.

Goof Off

Sometimes it’s fun just to be totally goofy with each other. “When we get to the comfortable, stable place of knowing we have ‘secure’ status with someone else, it’s common to lose the playfulness that got you together in the first place,” Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, tells Bustle. My girlfriend and I spend around 99 percent of our time alone acting like idiots, and I love it.

Give yourself permission to be silly — it’s easy to take relationships way too seriously,” Jonathan Bennett, relationship/dating coach and owner of The Popular Man, tells Bustle. “You don’t always have to be on your best behavior. Sometimes, it’s OK to simply have mindless laughter and goof around with your significant other.”

Travel Together

If you really feel stuck in a rut, don’t be afraid to change your scenery — it’s an easy change that can do a lot of good. “Changing your environment will help create new emotional responses to your partner, instead of triggering old undesirable ones,” says relationship expert Miyoko Rifkin. You don’t need to hop on a plane across the world (although that sounds like fun), even going to a new town or a new restaurant can trigger a change.

Come Up With A Bucket List

If you have trouble coming up with fun things to do on any given day, then coming up with a big list with your partner will give you something to refer back to. “Come up with a ‘bucket list’ and think about things you’ve always wanted to try that you can do together,” therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, tells Bustle. “Doing something out of the ordinary can add both excitement to the relationship and help you feel more connected to your partner.” Then, when you’re both feeling bored or out of ideas, pick something off of the list to try.

Relationships don’t have to be a constant rollercoaster — and you should definitely enjoy some quiet moments with your partner — but it should still be fun. Keeping relationships feeling exciting takes a bit of effort sometimes, but know that it’ll be well worth it.

 

Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject!

 

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Tales of Rock: Swedish Metal Fiasco – Duncan – Part 1

“You should come up! We’ll rock out and you can see your family. No one ever laid on their deathbed and said, ‘I should have spent more time at the office.”

My buddy Duncan reached out to me a couple of months ago. He’s the one who works all the time at the bank in commercial real estate in North Carolina and makes tons of money. He’s completely driven by succeeding and earning, so he’s lost all site of the little things in life.

But I thought there was still hope when he sent me some music clips from a Swedish heavy metal band called Ghost. I thought it was pretty good, but I’m not thrilled with metal in general anymore. I’m just not that angry. I enjoy music that’s a bit softer now as I’m well into middle age.

A few weeks later he texts me that Ghost is playing at the Fillmore here in Philly. He says he’s buying two tickets and flying up to see them with me. I’m thrilled that I’m going to spend time with my old friend. I wouldn’t care if we’re going to see the Wiggles, I’m just happy to hang with my buddy.

He also tells me he’s staying up here a couple of days because his sister is getting married on Saturday. Ghost is on Thursday so I figure I’ll take off a few days and do stuff around the city with him until Saturday. It’ll be awesome just like the last time he came up.

I was hanging in a bar with my friend Church having some food and drinks when that text came through. Church says he loves Ghost. He wants to go too. I figure the more the merrier. Church buys a ticket on Stub Hub, and now we’ll all go rock out.

Three days before the show, (I’ve already asked for the time off) Duncan texts me that he’s not coming up now. He states that it will cost him $1000 for everything round trip and he just doesn’t want to spend the money. (This clown will be a millionaire by the time he’s fifty years old in two years!) What the hell?

He says it always costs him that much with air fare hotel, transportation, etc.

“Dude. Listen to yourself. You’re close to being a fucking millionaire.  A thousand bucks is like piss in the ocean to you!”

“I just don’t want to spend that much money on anything right now. Got to stay focused.”

“What about your sister’s wedding?”

“I’d rather do a longer fun filled trip and spend a thousand dollars rather that a quick up and back for a ‘questionable’ second wedding.”

“Oh, come on! This was your idea!”

“I’m emailing you the tickets now.”

“You suck! Church already bought his ticket.”

“Well you can bring someone else, or sell the ticket or give it away.”

“I think you’re making a mistake. Dude, you work a lot, you like this band and can totally afford to take a break and come up and enjoy the show. Live a little!”

“I would have really liked to see this band with you, they are good but a little different than what we’re accustomed to listening to.”

“You should come up! We’ll rock out and you can see your family. No one ever laid on their deathbed and said, ‘I should have spent more time at the office.”

“You sound like my mother.”

“Fine.”

 

 

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My Family – Train Show in York, PA – Saturday

I saw this one woman who was easily over 300 pounds. She was walking by and she didn’t even look human. How does one get like that? How does one maintain that kind of weight? What does that do to your skeleton? She looked like an unmoored zeppelin. Then there was this other fat guy that almost ran someone over as he sped by on his rascal. Speeding and on his cell phone? Security should have hopped on their battery carts and chased him down until they could pull him over and give him two tickets!

Saturday was the final day of the show. I pack up my gear and head to the elevator. I get in and hit the button for the lobby. I hear giggling approaching and a dainty hand grabs the door before it closes. Seven teenage girls that appear to be on some sort of sports team all squeeze into the elevator with me. They’re all attractive and fit so maybe this is a sign that today will be a good day.

Janice arrives a few moments later in the lobby and we check out. We head over to the fairgrounds and I’m relieved that this is the final day. I’ve made a couple of grand here already and hope to close out strong today.

We get to the hall and go to our tables. We grab some breakfast sandwiches and chat. Today the show ends around 4pm. I suppose it’s so people can break down all of their stuff and get home at a reasonable hour. It’s a massive show and I’m sure there will be folks here into the night. Speaking of “massive” I am appalled at how many people are overweight and out of shape at this show.

I saw this one woman who was easily over 300 pounds. She was walking by and she didn’t even look human. How does one get like that? How does one maintain that kind of weight? What does that do to your skeleton? She looked like an unmoored zeppelin. Then there was this other fat guy that almost ran someone over as he sped by on his rascal. Speeding and on his cell phone? Security should have hopped on their battery carts and chased him down until they could pull him over and give him two tickets!

After breakfast I headed to the Men’s room because, well, middle age. You eat in the morning the digestive system kicks in. But my God, I’m in the stall and the place is full of dudes in the other stalls,  I kid you not. The place smelled horrible and it sounded like a high school marching band warming up in there. Or think of a guy with Parkinson’s disease trying to unload a set of drums from the back of a van. It was that bad in there! I got back to our table as fast as I could.

“Hey, Jan…What if we wrapped up a train in paper and simply called the package, Mystery Train?”

“You’re crazy. We’re not doing that.”

I have noticed something during this whole experience. On day one we were full of piss and vinegar thinking we had the greatest antique train collection around. We had price tags on everything and knew that dad’s stuff was all nice and worth every penny of what we were asking. But we’re at the biggest train show on the east coast right now. There are thousands and thousands of trains and collectors here. We sold a couple of things day one, but it’s a huge event and it takes a couple of days for people to see everything. These are toy train collectors. They know what stuff is worth. Yo, on the other hand, always think your stuff is worth top dollar. By day two I told Janice to remove the price tags.

“We can’t do that. Everything has to be marked.”

“Okay, then how about we just move the price tags to the bottom of the trains. The tags are still on them but they have to ask. That shows interest. It also opens the conversation and creates a dialogue so that I can sell them.”

I’ve worked in sales my whole life. It should work. Also by day two we started to feel a little desperate. Sure that train set is worth $1200 in its present condition. But to whom? My dad? He’s dead. We should probably negotiate the prices a bit.

“But…”

“Do you want to haul all of this shit back to the house with empty pockets or do you want to liquidate these assets?

“You’re right.”

“Let’s blow out some fucking trains!”

And blast them out we did. My father left us with one important rule when it came to selling trains: Sell only complete sets. (That means engine, tender and the cars.) But there was a moment on day two when we had a flurry of sales and after the dust settled we both looked at each other realizing we had broken up some sets and only sold engines and tenders and left behind a bunch of cars.

I raised my hands up to my face. “Janice…I think we just did some very bad things.”

“I know… We broke dad’s cardinal rule.”

But here’s the great part. We ended up breaking up some sets. But we actually sold off all the cars that had been left behind by the end of the show! So the “crimes against toys” that we committed had some how been righted by the gods!

I’m not going to collect trains. My daughter doesn’t want them. If someone offers me $350 for something that I don’t want and have absolutely no use for, they should have it. Maybe we think about not selling the trains but putting these beautiful toys into the hands and homes of the people who really will love them. Sounds like a wonderful Christmas story to me. That’s how we’ll live with ourselves for what we’ve done.

So we blow out more sets of trains today. We had one guy from New York walk away carrying four boxes full of our trains. My pockets were bulging with cash. We had guys we chatted with that were really wonderful people. We’d see them everyday. They loved trains and had lots of money. We discussed some post war O gauge stuff we had at the house. They were very interested in those pieces as well as the cabinets in the house my father had custom-built to house all of these beautiful sets of trains. These guys were serious collectors with houses full of goodies.

Put them in the hands of those who love them so that they can continue to live on and bring joy to people. They won’t be just all in a box somewhere like ashes in the ground. They will continue be immortal. Just like our father’s memory in all of our hearts and minds. He won’t ever really be gone until the black wings of death scatter our days.

We came here with 31 sets of trains and we’re only leaving with 13. That’s a pretty good haul. But the best part of this entire three-day odyssey was the time with my sister. She’s been wonderful and we’re really good travel buddies. It’s rare when you grow up together, then you both go off and live your lives. She goes off to college, and I go off to L.A. to play rock. She gets married and you get married. You live in different places and maybe only see each other once or twice a year at the holidays. You have your own lives and friends and children just like most people do. But then there is a death in the family. That tragedy brings you all back together. Well. I suppose I shouldn’t call it a tragedy. Death becomes us all.

But there is an event like this where you are called upon by your closest sibling to come to her aid thirty-five years later and you both get in a car and travel somewhere and sell a bunch of trains. You’re with that person all day for three days. You eat together, hang out, and laugh your asses off like you’re both back in high school again. Those three days with Janice in York were some of the very best days of 2017.

We say goodbye to Lenny and his lovely wife and I load what’s left of our stuff back into the SUV. We drive back to Philly, both a bit richer. Not by the Benjamins in our wallets but with love in our hearts.

Can’t wait to get home to my beloved city!

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly