Cherie – Chapter 68 – So Here We Are

“I don’t know what to do at this point, so I don’t know what to say to you.”

As bad as things are between me and Cherie. This week of Phicklephilly is chock filled with fun, frolic, and frivolity!

Stay indoors!

And as my mom would say… Wash your damn hands!

Enjoy!

 

“I don’t know what to say at this point, so I don’t know what to say to you.”

This is the wrong response for Cherie. She has the opportunity to be mature and accept that we have chemistry. There is the distance factor. There is the extreme differences in our lives, ages, and lifestyles.

But we’re good together, but maybe the strain of her life and the stresses of being a parent and coupled with work and school, has become too much.

“I know we’re both busy and you’re under a lot of pressure right now. But just know that I love you and I’ll provide you all the time and space you need. I’m patient, Cherie. I love you.”

“I love you too, but I honestly just don’t know what to say anymore.”

I don’t understand this. How does an adult in a relationship have no words? This tells me something about my mate.

Then there’s this sudden reveal.

“If you can take off I’d like you to come to my graduation next Friday at 9:30.”

“What’s the date?”

“May 11.”

“Where’s it being held?”

“Liacouras Center.”

“And that’s at 9:30?”

“Yes.”

And then it’s just radio silence from there.

Should I go see her graduate from Temple with her BS in Psychology?

It hasn’t been going well. The sex is always amazing, but what else do we have? She’s beautiful and sweet but we’re in two different places in our lives.

Should I be proud that a 28 year old woman loves me and rocked my world and my bed? I am that the old horse still had some great races left in him, but do I want this?

When I started writing phicklephilly, it began as a tome about the crazy women and dates in my life. Then it grew into settling the relationships in my past. Then I started telling stories about my life and it felt so good. By writing about everything I settled everything in my mind and expressed it in my art.

It was incredibly liberating in a way I never suspected. It brought me a clarity and peace I had never experienced in my life.

I’ve enjoyed my time with all of these people and there’s so many more stories to come. My life is rich in history and I’m glad I’m making new exciting memories everyday. I truly am blessed with a life that’s fun to wake up to every day.

Two years ago I started writing a dating blog. It was about how fickle I am and how I fall in love every day. But that’s not true. I fall in love with being alive every day. To no longer cling to the bars of anxiety, depression, low self esteem, bad relationships, child support, debt, and all of the rest of the horrors of adult life for some us.

I live a simple and elegant life now in middle age. I don’t want anything.

We come from a dark and embarrassing past in this country. My current girlfriend (for the moment) is black. All of her ancestors came here as slaves.

At least they knew they were slaves.

Today we don’t even see that we’re all slaves.

We can’t live without our cell phones without having a panic attack. We have 20 different products that were once separate items we had to buy at Radio Shack in our cell phones now.

Social media is obnoxious and self absorbed. It’s all nonsense. Why do you need to see what I ate for lunch today or where I am on vacation?

None of it brings you joy. I know for a fact that all of this technology had dumbed down all of us as a culture.

People still call the salon and can’t find it. They’re calling me from the greatest piece of personal affordable technology homo sapiens have ever possessed and they still can’t find the place.

I come from an analog world and I’m proud of my mind. I work hard and came from a place where you never got a pat on the back or a trophy for participating. You failed and you felt the consequences of that failure. That’s evolution.

Now everybody’s so buried in their phones, they can barely communicate with the people around them of navigate their own lives, (Don’t even get me started on spatial awareness)

But I digress…

Once I started writing phicklephilly, I knew I had to start dating again. I needed content.

If you go back to the early posts you’ll see me struggling on shitty dates with sad leftovers.

I didn’t know. I tried the dating game, but at my age met a bunch of women that I didn’t really feel a spark for.

I met Cherie and all of that changed.

But it was because I was trying again. Like I did with Michelle, Annabelle, and others.

I’ve learned something along the way, and I think I’ve finally arrived at the elegant answer.

So many men never evolve and are stuck in their development. I know a couple that I haven’t cut off and it’s pathetic. You really need to come to know yourself as a man as you grow older. If you don’t you’re a fucking asshole.

No, you really are and you’ve squandered your life and those around you because they hate you or secretly hate you.

Here’s my revelation.

I absolutely adore women. I’m great at charming and courting women. I’m great at dating. I’m a gentleman, and know how to treat a lady to make her feel special. I’m a good father. I know that based on how Lorelei has turned out and my relationship with her.

But I like to be alone. I enjoy your company but I need my alone time. I’m not good at being a boyfriend or being in a relationship. I can’t do it.

I can write a dating blog, and dole out relationship advice but I can’t be in a relationship.

I want to be alone.

I realized that this last relationship worked because Cherie was never around.

Even my close friends said it was the perfect relationship for me because of my personality.

Cherie is young, beautiful and often unavailable. Me too. It was perfect. The sex was mind bending, and then I take her to breakfast and she’s off the property.

I tried to be married and be in relationships but I just don’t like it. I like to be free. To come and go as I wish with no ties.

When I’m with you, you’re the only person on Earth and I’ll give you a show you won’t forget, but I need you to go after a few hours.

Sorry. That’s me.

Not sorry. That’s Chaz.

I’ve found in middle-age I want to work. I love to work. Not in a shitty job where I make high 5 figures and am beholden to some asshole that is only there to justify his shitty existence, just to simply work.

I get my energy from people.

Picasso was found dead at 92 working on a sculpture. I want that in my 70’s! (If I make it)

My social life is so rich. I have so many wonderful people in my life that I do my best to squeeze in around my work. (Thank you one and all that you still want to spend time with me)

I was always prepared for Cherie to leave me. I established that on our very first date. I vowed to never fall into the dopamine induced stupor I fell into with Annabelle (See: Annabelle – Guy walks into a bar)

I have a friend that’s a workaholic. He’s a millionaire at 50 but he has squandered real living for really living. He’s my best friend and I love him, but he’s on his own journey. (See: Duncan)

I just what my simple happy life here in Philly.

I don’t know what’s going to happen with Cherie, but it looks like it’s dead.

I’ll have to see if I’m going to attend her graduation.

I’ve never met her family and I’m sure they’ll all be there. (Meet the old white guy)

I think the saddest thing about all of this after 60 plus chapters, is that I feel nothing.

I think her indifference killed it in the end. How she was chilly to me during our last two encounters.

Normally I’m sad for a long time after the demise of a relationship, but not this time. Maybe because I went into it with my eyes open and my dopamine in check.

 

I never flew too close to sun, but loved I her just the same.

 

 

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Rebecca – Chapter 15 – Reprise

“I never want to retire. I’m not a workaholic, but I love to be busy. I want to have something to do every day for the rest of my life until my sister Janice pats me in the face with a shovel.”

Please go back and read: (Rebecca – Dark Wings of Destiny – Chapters 1 through 14) to fully understand the history I have with this person.

Present Day

Just when I thought everything had gone to shit with Cherie, I get a text.

It’s Rebecca.

I haven’t heard from her in over two years. I don’t even know what she’s been doing. I thought she was gone forever.

So much has changed in my life since meeting Rebecca. I’ve been on a million dates, I’ve changed jobs, I’ve had a sort of girlfriend for over a year and a half. That’s what it is and has been well documented here.

Cherie and I are teetering between love and loss. I’m fine with whatever way it goes, but it would be nice to retain the passion we once had. I think Cherie wants that and so do I, but our schedules are killing us both.

Cherie’s 40 miles away, super busy and so am I, but when we’re together it sings. But lately it’s been really difficult. Cherie’s texts tell me so.

Her life, the distance, her son, her family, her jobs, school, finals, graduation, and beyond.

We’re in two different worlds right now.

Well, we’ve always been in two different worlds.

Cherie’s a 28-year-old attractive, smart, girl faced with the reality of growing up and going forward in her life.

I’m a middle-aged guy who’s realized that corporate america and sitting in a cubicle is bullshit and would rather work two jobs really hard than work one he hated. I love my life at the salon and the restaurant. I’ve found the happy balance.

My daughter Lorelei works right down the street. It’s great. There’s harmony in that.

But when I got the text from Rebecca it threw me for a loop.

I really like Rebecca and she’s always been flighty, but I always loved her company. I know she was trying to find her way in this world and I was always there for her, like I’ve been for all of my friends… but Rebecca was different.

I kind of loved Rebecca.

I would say in a “phicklephilly way” but I think there’s something more than that here. I know it seems crazy. Rebecca’s 24 years old, but if you’ve read the previous Rebecca posts, I always felt a connection to her.

I’ve never been after her. I’m not after anybody.

They always come to me.

But Rebecca has always had a certain pull that the other ones don’t possess. Rebecca haunts me when she’s gone, but I never feel that depressing loss I have with the others. Maybe because the others are just a dopamine drop and I miss the rush of their beauty once it’s gone, but I’m relieved because they were trouble.

Rebecca was never any of those things.

Rebecca was always herself. Honest. Vulnerable. Beautiful.

She thought enough of me to spend time with me.

I’ve lived a charmed life. I really have. I’ve survived on my charm, sense of humor and skills.

Nothing more.

At my age, I’m delighted at my life. I know so many men my age that are lost and confused. It’s so sad.

I love knowing exactly who I am at my age and what I want. After half a century on the planet I finally got it right and it feels joyous.

I never want to retire. I’m not a workaholic, but I love to be busy. I want to have something to do every day for the rest of my life until my sister Janice pats me in the face with a shovel.

My life is rich in experience and memories. I can wrap myself up in them every night like a warm blanket. It’s really lovely after 50 years of anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.

I’ve rebuilt my broken self into an elegant old analog machine that runs so well in the digital age. I work with young people. I love that I can inspire them with my experience just like my dad did when he was my age.

I’m grateful that everyday I get to wake up again, and nothing hurts, and everything’s working. (everything!) The sun is shining and I look forward to the day.

For years I was mired in corporate life. Wearing a suit and tie, going to meetings, working for assholes who couldn’t do what I could do, but were only there because they had no where else to go.

All a joke.

I want to work.

My sister Janice says, “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”

She, like my father is only quoting because they’re not the best in original thought, but yes! She’s right, or whoever wrote that bit.

So here I am, in a relationship that’s been distant but’s still alive. For me this has been a great relationship, because unlike all of my other relationships, this one actually met my perfect relationship model.

I know I’ll feel some backlash on this, but it’s been perfect for me.

All of my other relationships have been traditional. Boyfriend/girlfriend. Living together, and moving towards a destination I’ve already experienced and been killed in virtual immolation, and hundreds of thousands of dollars in child support.

I’m never getting married again. Definitely not having any more kids.

My last three relationships have been with younger women and I know how this looks. I did not pursue these wonderful ladies. It just happened.

But the definition of crazy is, doing the same thing over and over hoping you get a different result.

That’s not me, but, my last handful of girlfriends have been young and beautiful.

The ends were inevitable.

They were all doomed before they began, but they were all wonderful. Thank you one and all, girls!

So here I am at a precipice with Cherie, who is the sweetest woman in the world and whom I love very much, and the prospect that she could shit-can me any day now, simply out of not having any time to see me.

We’re amazing when we’re together and I absolutely adore her. I should probably go to her graduation on Friday, but I know I won’t because I hate getting up early anymore and I don’t really want to deal with the whole event in general.

I probably should go.

It would mean the world to her.

Do I really want to meet her family?

She’s worked so hard for so many years. This could be the thing that fixes us.

I really don’t want to go, but I don’t want Cherie gone from my life.

Ahhh… what should I do loyal readers?

 

I reluctantly texted Rebecca back.

“Hey. It’s been a minute. I feel like we kind of left it all hanging. Hope you’re doing well.”

A day passed…

“Charles…. I miss you. I’m sorry I’ve been out of touch. Been busy with work and life. Up and down. Can you meet for a drink?”

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Sun Stories – Just Another Sunday at the Salon…

Cherie is a wonderful woman but sadly has failed me on so many levels I have decided to compartmentalized my life.

Despite everything else that’s been going on, I was still  focused on my last (and probably final) encounter with Kita.

I thought back on our relationship all the while dating Cherie and cheating on her with other women.

Was Kita just another notch in the bedpost that was my life now?

No. She’s a sweet girl I really like and want to help.

But who am I kidding? As nice and as charming and as moral as I am, I’m just the best shark wrapped in wolf’s clothing dressed as a lamb.

What have I done?

I really liked little Kita. I guided her as best I could with all of the knowledge and wisdom about dating and relationships.

She would blow up my phone on my day off about her problems with her silly boyfriends. I was there for her. I got her pepper spray. Snacks, knowing she’d be in to enjoy them. Lunches. Dinner dates. Treats to send her off with at Christmas break.

I did everything a good boyfriend should do for his girl. But she wasn’t my girlfriend.

I did these things because I fell in love with her. A 22-year-old girl.

Her dad is busy and is never around. Her mom put her on antidepressants to deal with her. She’s obsessed with tanning.

This is damaged girl.

I just wanted to help her navigate her life because she had no experience in the ways of romance.

But in doing so. I made her mine.

Sure, when I laid eyes on her I was immediately attracted to this cute, fit little Asian beauty, but that was nothing more than the passing phicklephilly lust. I never saw all of the gifts and dates we experienced. Not in a million years.

Or did I?

Is this what I do now?

I’ve always been attracted to younger women my whole life. Is this how I do it now? I protect, shelter, counsel and then covet these young girls?

Now I don’t know.

If you read the entire Kita series I think you can see a real interest and care for my subject. But rather quickly once she awakens from her folly she submits to me. I never elude to it or ask for it. I never had to in my life. I’ve always been disgusted by men trying to get sex from women in their life. It’s always seemed so clumsy to me.

Every time I’ve ever been intimate with a woman it’s always been relinquished to me without request. I think that’s how it should always be.

It’s her choice.

She decides she wants you.

You can never take her or press her no matter how much you want to. If you’re a good man, she’ll yield to you.

Kita came to me.

She came here drunk and ready to play.

I feel something about that, but it isn’t guilt or sorrow. It was an exciting act of celebration and retribution for us both. She the broken toy with the lost boyfriend, and shitty current boyfriend, and me the sheer joy of the ease at which I was able to close this sweet young client.

Cherie is a wonderful woman but sadly has failed me on so many levels I’ve decided to compartmentalized my life.

I just never thought I’d fall this far.

I was so in love with Cherie. Our love was so sweet. She was always so horny, which was fun. I’d never met a woman who was so well-connected to her raw sexuality.

Truly a queen.

But here I am doing my job and wondering after what happened between Kita and me if I will ever see her again.

As much as I’ve been a mentor to her, I have to admit all I’ve wanted to do was to split her like a ripe melon and fuck her back to China.

See if you know anyone that has the balls to say that?

I can’t lie in my blog. I’ve got readers counting on me to be honest.

It happened. I did it to her.

How is she?

Did I mess her up?

I can’t live with that. Too much anxiety.  I never want to hurt a girl. I couldn’t live with myself.

If Achilles finds out I’ll probably be fired.

Rule 3… You’re available but not available.

I’m losing my shit.

What did I do to this girl?

I was her mentor on every level and then I fucked her on the utility sink of the salon.

I don’t know what to do.

Will she just stop coming here and cancel her membership?

Fuck.

I can’t think about this but I can’t help it.

I love Kita.

That blonde, tanned, fit little 22-year-old naive Asian girl who is super hot and dumb that you just slammed on the back sink of the tanning salon.

I feel awful, but exhilarated.

I put in a lot of time with her. all of the hours of counseling. the endless texts. It was so annoying. Was it wrong for me to extract my fee?

No. She offered herself willingly.

But still.

 

I sweep and mop the salon, and punch out.

This fucking place.

I no longer like it, or Achilles.  But it groomed me to be great at my new job as manager at the restaurant in Rittenhouse.

I lock the door and head down the steps. I card lock the outside door and head West on Walnut street.

I’m tired of working here. This whole relationship with Achilles went nowhere. Which I have learned is how all of his relationships go. Even the one with his girlfriend.

I walk South on 16th, Starbucks and a healthy alternative restaurant that will be out of business in 6 months because their rent is to high and their covers are too light.

I need to quit smoking.

I hate smoking.

The dirty smoke, ashes, paper, glue, carbon monoxide, all of that and $10 bucks a pack need to go away.

 

I’m puffing my celebratory smoke as I walk past the Italian restaurant where I had my final dinner with Annabelle before we saw the worst show ever and then she later dumped me.

I feel nothing now for Annabelle. She is just a series of blog posts that tell my story with her.

 

I approach my place in Rittenhouse  and I pause.

I stand on the steps of my walk up and think about my life for a moment.

I’m surrounded by good people and family.

My health is fine.

I’m killing it in my work life. (And for once I actually like what I do!)

I’m loved and I truly love.

I have things to look forward to.

 

My Magic 5!

 

I’m good. we’ve come a long way.

Like I always do if Lorelei isn’t home, I’m going to sit in my chair in the living room and watch Mr. Robot on the 50 inch.

Life is good.

I’m at peace an I don’t have to be in work until 5pm tomorrow.

 

I’m actually dozing when I get the text.

 

“Hey, how are you? WE should meet up!”

Kita xo

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Crazy Dating Stories – Volume 1, is Now Available for Sale on Amazon

If you liked Phicklephilly, you’ll love Crazy Dating Stories. These are tales from the last 20 years of my dating life.

Phicklephilly the book, is a story about me moving to Philly and beginning my search for true love in our fair city.

Crazy Dating Stories is the most insane, irreverent, disgusting, and funny tales from my dating life. Everybody has stories like these, and I’d love to hear them. We’ve all been on a Date from Hell!

I went back into my history and dredged up the wildest, weirdest things that have ever happened to me while dating.

While writing and compiling these dating stories, I realized I’d been on so many I couldn’t fit them all into one book. So this is the first of a trilogy. I hope for my sake there’s never a Volume 4!

I’ve decided to make them available on Amazon Kindle and then eventually in paperback.

With everything going on with the Coronavirus and most of us having to stay home from work, now would be the time to grab a copy and get some good laughs at my expense!

You won’t be disappointed!

If anything, you’ll feel sorry for me. You’ll wonder, why did this guy hang in there as long as he did on these dates?

Now we know the answer.

To eventually get a funny story out of it!

 

You can buy it here:

 

 

MORE TO COME! 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Cherie – Chapter 65 – Words and Feelings

“I feel like we’re getting lost.”

“I never feel lost but it seems you’ve lost interest in me. The last two times I’ve seen you you’ve been cold to me even though I’ve tried to be warm. It’s been hard to be with you when I saw you. I was doing all I could and you were cold. I tried to take you on dates (because I love dating you love!) but you were cold. If I could put this in basic terms… if you and I were making love on the regular, things would be better. When we’re together on a regular basis our relationship sings. But we’re both so busy with school and work it’s been killing our face time. Cherie, I love you. Since we shared an umbrella in the rain. Club Quarters. You’re my mate. I’m so happy with you in my life. I’m working my ass off and I don’t know what to do. I would be honored just to eat some tacos with my pretty baby. I miss you everyday. I love you. I hope you can hang in there with me dear.”

” I love you and miss you and I do enjoy our time together, but this distance with both of our schedules is killing me. I tried not to be cold but couldn’t because I’ve just been so annoyed that we’ve been apart and I’m not used to it and I don’t like it.”

“So when can I see you again Cherie?”

“I don’t know. I work Saturday.”

“Me too.”

“Yea. I don’t know then.”

 

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Cherie – Chapter 64 – Unsteady

It’s so hard now. But it’s not.

Cherie is incredibly frustrated sexually.

After her chilly behavior last time I saw her she’s warmed up to a boil.

I actually don’t like this behavior.

She’s pissed at me and is very reserved and then when we work it out she’s angry, frustrated and horny.

I can’t see her for two weeks and there’s nothing I can do about it. Why say it if there’s NOTHING I can do to satisfy you for two weeks?

It’s just nonsense.

We met up two weeks ago but she was on shark week and she won’t let this shark swim, because I would. I have never minded if a girl was a her period. If she was willing to be with me I was always happy to accommodate. Just low self-esteem and happy to have sex.

I’ve always been okay with the human condition and anomaly. I learned it early from my dad from all of the books he made me read.

I’m really fine with all human functionality no matter how gross. I’ve always adored women and I find no aspect of them gross. I embrace their strength to deal with the monthly aches and pains of sloughing off the walls of their uterus as another precious egg goes to waste.

Men have millions of sperm their whole life. Women on the other hand are born with a finite number of eggs and that’s it. That’s why the clock starts to chime in their late twenties. It’s just human nature.

I totally get it. That’s why my last three relationships ended.

They just needed to settle on some guys that were willing to commit to them for the rest of their lives and roll the dice of marriage and parenthood.

I’ve already been to that table in the casino of life and I lost big time. I won a beautiful daughter that I absolutely adore but it cost me a fortune in money and pain for decades. I will never go through it again.

 

I had taken her to the movies and did everything I could to warm her to me but she was chilly again.

She later texted me and apologized for being cold to me.

I’ve done all that I can to be sweet to her.

I called her and we spoke on the phone and I did everything to iron it out.

I think it worked, because we seemed to be back in gear again.

She was supposed to come down in two weeks. I knew what I needed to do to satisfy her and re-connect.

There were texts and sweet words. I knew we’d be fine if I could just get there and satisfy her.

Achilles called me Friday night and asked if I could work on my day off from 11 to 1pm. I checked with Cherie and she said she wouldn’t be down until 2pm so I told him yes. He had two new clients coming in for the gym so that would be great and we need that. I told him it would be fine. I’d see Cherie after that when she came down and make love to her like she was the last woman on Earth.

I’m texting Cherie and it’s all good.

But then she says the Saab is shaking. I don’t know what that means but it can’t be good.

She says she’s worried about the car and that it could be its end. That’s not good. But she says that she could possibly borrow her folks car and come down.

I’m fine with all of this and tell Achilles that I can stay the afternoon if he needs me on Saturday.

Achilles trained his new clients and it went well. But the best part was, for the first time in many months we got to just hang out. I worked until 3pm before I clocked out.

Cherie said she’d be down by 6:30.

So I basically spent the day with Achilles and we got to talk and have a fun day together. We’re remodeling the bathroom so we were focused on that. A father and son team came in and bought the two urinals we don’t need. They plugged the pipes and took the two units and cleaned up.

We want to clear the space and put a shower in there for the gym so it was perfect.

It felt like the old days just hanging with my friend and working at the salon on a Saturday during the busy season with nothing to do other than take good care of my beloved that night for a few hours.

I actually for the first time told him about Cherie. Normally we are pretty private about our romantic lives but I figured it was time.

He said it sounded like the perfect relationship for me.

Which it is.

A beautiful fit girl who’s so sweet and sexual and isn’t around all the time. I know that may seem alien to some of you, but I have so many failed relationships, this life with Cherie has been perfect for me. The very best.

Distance. Time. Lust. Satisfaction. Love. Distance. Distance. Time. I really love her and the dynamic.

What man wouldn’t want a hot young wanton woman to come see you and tear you to pieces and then leave? Then you can go back to your life of work and social life with out the trappings of the clingy relationship.

Even my female friends agree this is the perfect relationship for me.

I adore Cherie. She’s truly the apex of any woman I’ve ever know. But will it work long-term?

Probably not based on my past but I have to try. I’ve done everything I can to sustain this relationship but lately it’s been strained.

I get a text in the afternoon that her son’s father has bailed on spending time with him today.

That’s not good, but I really don’t know the full scope of the situation up there in Pottstown, 40 miles away.

I spend the whole day with Achilles and we actually have a great day just hanging and working at the salon together just like old times. I clocked out at 3 but continue to work for free until closing.

I’m just happy we can hang and work and chat.

I finally go home. I clean up the house and make everything fresh for the arrival of my love.

I text her.

“How are things going?”

“I’m ready to jump off a ledge these kids are making me lose my mind.”

“I thought you were coming down at 6:30.”

“OMG. no, I said I might be able to because of my kid. his dad canceled so I don’t have a babysitter.”

“Oh fuck. I’m sorry honey.”

“OMG it’s my fault WTF I’m an idiot.”

So I cracked open a bottle of Burnett’s and some club soda and watched Netflix.

*Sigh. I don’t know if Cherie and I are going to make it.

We both work so much I don’t know if this love can sustain itself.

I love her so…

 

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Alicia – Chapter 7 – Back To Square One or Done?

If you’ve been following this series, you’ll understand my frustration. But I’ve enjoyed the ride. Getting the phone number from a teller at my credit union through bullet proof glass has been a glorious rush.

I went there to make a deposit today. I was feeling a little numb. Not my usual exuberant effervescent self.

When I go to the credit union I’m always fiery and fun and today for some reason I had no good energy.

Eileen is away on Spring Break this week and I’m counting on Amelia to step in and help. She has other obligations and her time is limited. I totally understand that because her job at the gym where she works is her number one priority.

It’s Thursday and 70 degrees out today. Spring is upon us and I know the salon will be busy. Without Amelia I fear I’ll be run over by clients tonight.

I have my deposit in hand. I do something I never do.

Wait for Alicia. It’s always been chance and has worked out beautifully in my master plan to meet her for coffee or lunch.

If you’ve been reading this series you know it’s been off. Alicia has failed in regard to communication and care.

She locked down the date. I went hard core to get a national chain to hold out breakfast for us so she could have killer french toast.

Extraordinary dating is what I’ve been good at since 1977, so I locked it down and let her know.

She failed miserably after knowing and went on vacation.

Alisha destroyed a free lunch.

My father used to say, “If you fuck up a free lunch , you’re not worth it.”

It’s a FREE FUCKING LUNCH with a paying client!

I don’t want to seem bitter because I’m not.

I’m just a little sad I couldn’t close.

Kitty Kat is behind three inches of bullet proof glass and gave me her phone number. She completely blew it.

I don’t get it. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t know anything about her. Who knows what happened.

I go in today. For the first time I actually let other members go before me so I can see her and chat.

I never do that. It’s always been by good luck chance.

I get to her window and push the cash in after my deposit slip.

Her hair is pulled back and she’s all cover up. There is a bit of cleavage. It’s good but not my focus. (Okay, it’s a focus)

“How are you?”

“I’m good.”

How was your vacation?”

“Good.”

“Where did you go?”

“Florida.”

Alisha counts my $5000 and makes the deposit. Business as usual.

Weird thing is… she’s like she used to be to me. Chilly.

“Thanks. Have a nice day.”

Is she having a bad day? Have I blown it? What the fuck is going on?

I walk away completely empty.

I’m actually hurt and sad.

I walk through Suburban Station through the crowd of commuters, homeless detritus and cops.

I felt a mix of loss, anger and sadness. I really felt like I was back at square one with Alisha. Or square zero.

I know nothing about elusive Alicia. I was bold in my attempt to even try to secure a lunch with her. It’s bold and weird.

But I just wanted to get to know her.

I’ve laid in the tall grass like the lion that I am for so long and waited for my prey.

I think this gazelle has run off.

 

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