18 Essential Pieces Of Dating Advice For Men

Have you ever noticed that there are too many pick up guides and not enough real dating manuals? Well, this overview changes that for men by providing essential tips and advice for successful relationships.

If you think about it, dating is the fun part of a relationship.

As such, men tend to focus on the early stages too much.

To help you get over that hurdle, I’ve put together 18 pieces of essential dating advice for men.

From online dating to rejection, here’s what every man should know:

1. Women don’t want a good guy, they genuinely want a GREAT man.

2. Stop chasing women all the time. Instead of becoming an interesting man women can actually connect with, you will end up sacrificing parts of your life. Your time is valuable, don’t waste it on things you can’t always obtain.

3. Be yourself. A confident man has nothing to prove. An arrogant man believes he must prove everything in order to support his confidence.

4. Don’t compete for women. Have an abundant mentality. Be yourself and you’ll know if women feel or don’t feel chemistry/attraction towards you. Respect her even if she doesn’t; you can go talk to another woman at anytime.

5. Confidence is a lifelong gift, any man can learn to achieve it.

6. Communication is magic. Observe the actions of others around you. Listen, ask deep questions. Stay present in the moment. Relax when speaking to women, slow down!

7. Create an amazing lifestyle if you want to attract amazing women. Consider your work environment. Participate in things you love. Be open to new experiences. Embrace every moment, don’t just be a part of it.

8. Use the law of attraction to your advantage. In other words, learn how to genuinely enjoy every day of life and every single moment. Women tend to naturally gravitate towards two things: Popularity and positively. Make women curious about speaking with you.

9. Online dating is easier than you think. Create an emotional response, so they are compelled to write you back. Paint them a picture. Don’t be a sleazy salesperson and sell them false dreams, you’ll eventually have to live up to them.

10. Use the power of voice tone and eye contact to charm her. Remember that there is never the “right” thing to say.

11. Understand that women are not your possessions. No man ever owns his woman.

12. Don’t live so much in the moment. You’ll forget too much and miss every single opportunity succumbing to constant fear.

13. Don’t shuffle around like you’re walking on eggshells. Pay attention to your body posture. Make it a habit to approach women quickly without pacing back and forth about it.

14. When you have something important to say, call her. Don’t text or email. The key here is make it known that she is an important part of your life.

15. Be casual about rejection. Flirt, talk and then try your luck. If she rejects you don’t make it so obvious by hanging your head down and looking all blue. Other women will see your desperation. When that happens, don’t be surprised if five women in a row all reject you.

16. Never celebrate after scoring her number. Cut the high-fives and nonsense out with your friends. Women will watch for your reaction. By not showing how you feel inside, you’ll appear in control and collected.

17. Understand that rejection is simply a made-up emotion, in reality is doesn’t even exist. You have absolutely nothing to worry about!

18. Put your immediate goals aside when trying to attract women. What I mean by that is don’t approach with only the task of getting her phone number. The key here is to avoid looking desperate, because your mind will literally be so focused on getting that number. Make her believe that you are someone she must spend time getting to know. Not the other way around!

 

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Chapter 15 – Madam Wong’s West – The Yamamato Sisters

“Frank, this is Jill and Vickie. They’re sisters. They’re going to hang with us.”

Frank and I decide to go check out Madam Wong’s West over on Wilshire Blvd. It’s a famous rock and roll place that originated in Chinatown, (See: Tales of Rock – Esther Wong) But the place we’re going is her other location in Santa Monica. It’s within walking distance from our shitty apartment. The goal is to check out the local rock scene and try to talk to some girls.

We are drinking 102 beer at the apartment getting our pre-game on. (it was called 102 because it took them 102 times to get it right. They didn’t, because it was $2.99 for a 6 pack of 16 oz beers!) We didn’t have a name for it back then we just drank before we went out so we wouldn’t spend so much money when we went out. All this accomplished was getting us thoroughly plowed before we walked out the door and then we would just drink more. So it’s a bad idea that we did over and over again. I’m sure we did it for years after that but, youth… live and learn.

I remember that night very clearly. I was drinking a beer in the shower while I was getting ready. I had my boom box on. We had a red light bulb in our bathroom and it was cool. I was listening to “I don’t need no doctor” by Humble Pie. It was amazing.

We get all dressed up and head out, buzzed and ready to see the night in L.A.

We get to Madam Wong’s and realize that although I’m legal to drink in New Jersey at age 18, the drinking age is 21 in California. So I’m fucked.

I get an underage stamp but Frank gets a 21 stamp. Well this sucks. Fucking state laws. I’m pissed but we’ll make it work. We’re a crafty lot.

We go in and head upstairs. It’s got bands downstairs and upstairs.  I love that it’s two floors of rock. We don’t have anything like this back in Jersey. It’s like a giant house of rock. I loved it instantly and wanted to play there.

We find a cool round booth upstairs and take a seat. Some band is playing onstage and they suck. On the table there is a card that says “Two Drink Minimum” and I tell Frank to drop out jackets and go get some beers and I secure that table.

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to go downstairs and procure us a couple of women to join us at our table. So go get four beers. ”

“No fuckin’ way.”

“Way.”

“Okay. Well then have at it Chaz.”

Frank doesn’t know my mad game from picking up babes in Wildwood,NJ for years.

We’ve got our booth and Frank is getting our beers and I head downstairs to hunt. I have no idea what I’m doing and I have very little knowledge of women in L.A are like but at this point I’ve had a few beers and my courage is alive and well in me due to the alcohol.

I’m wandering downstairs and I come across a pair of pretty Asian girls. I’ve never met an Asian girl before. I literally walk up to them and ask them the following:

“My friend and I have a table upstairs. Would you like to join us?”

They say an immediate yes and I take the older girl’s hand and head upstairs. I lead them to the table and Frank’s eyes are like saucers. I can tell my comrade is pleased with my kill. He’s more than pleased. He’s amazed at my prowess.

I was really cute back then and I’ve always been charming.

“Frank, this is Jill and Vickie. They’re sisters. They’re going to hang with us.”

Frank is speechless. I see the joy in his eyes. He can’t believe I pulled this off. He has no idea that this is just the beginning of our California odyssey.

We enjoyed the night with these pretty sisters and got their numbers. We wanted to see them again and go on dates with them. That’s what people did back then. We went on dates with girls. Took them to the movies and record stores and lunch and dinner spots.

Frank and I had no money but if we had a couple of little girlfriends we were going to treat them right. It’s all we knew. I’m from Philly and everybody hates me and I have little history of dating. Frank was in the junior wing of the IRA in Belfast and also has little experience with girls. We just met a really cute pair of Asian sisters. They have our full attention!

We kissed them goodnight and even took some pictures.

We want to see these girls again!

… And we will.

Oh yes… We will.

 

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Celebrity Sightings: Vanessa Hudgens – Part 2

Spectacular legs…

I absolutely adore Vanessa Hudgens.

 

2005–2008: High School Musical and music

Hudgens performing at the High School Musical: The Concert in 2007

In 2005, Hudgens was cast as Gabriella Montez, one of the lead roles in the Disney Channel Original Movie High School Musical. The film saw Hudgens portraying the new girl at high school who falls for the captain of the basketball team. The two later reveal a passion for singing, and audition for the school play together. Hudgens starred alongside Zac Efron and Ashley Tisdale in the film,[19] the former of which she was partnered up with during the auditioning process due to their “chemistry”.[20]The film, released on January 20, 2006, was both a critical and commercial success. High School Musical was Disney Channel‘s most watched film that year with 7.7 million viewers in its premiere broadcast in the US, until August’s premiere of The Cheetah Girls 2, which achieved 8.1 million viewers.[21] In the UK, it received 789,000 viewers for its premiere (and 1.2 million viewers overall during the first week), making it the second most watched program for the Disney Channel (UK) of 2006. On December 29, 2006, it became the first Disney Channel Original Movie to be broadcast on the BBC.[22] For the film, Hudgens recorded numerous songs which had commercial success. The song “Breaking Free“, a duet with Zac Efron, went on to become Hudgens’ only Top 10 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 to date, when it peaked at number 4 on the chart. The song also reached number 9 in the UK, her highest chart entry in the country. Following the success of the film, Hudgens began work on her debut album. The project, later revealed to be titled V, was released on September 26, 2006. The album sold 34,000 copies in its first week of release, and debuted at number 24 on the Billboard 200 chart in the United States.[23] In February 2007, the album was certified gold by the RIAA.[24] As of August 2009, the album has sold 570,000 copies in the U.S.[25] It was preceded by two singles, “Come Back to Me” and “Say OK“, both of which were slightly successful in numerous countries. Both singles received heavy promotion on Disney Channel, with the music videos for both premiering on the channel.

Hudgens in concert in January 2007

In 2007, work on the second film in the High School Musical series began, and Hudgens was confirmed to be returning for the sequel. High School Musical 2 was released on August 17, 2007. The premiere was seen by a total of over 17.2 million viewers in the U.S., which is almost 10 million more than its predecessor, making it the highest-rated Disney Channel Movie of all time.[26] Disney Channel aired a weekly program called Road to High School Musical 2, beginning on June 8, 2007, and leading up to the premiere of High School Musical 2 in August. The show offered viewers a behind-the-scenes look into the production of the movie. The world premiere of the opening number “What Time Is It” was on Radio Disney May 25, 2007,[27] and similarly “You Are The Music In Me” premiered on July 13, 2007.[28] The film was generally well received by critics, gaining a score of 77/100 at Metacritic,[29] while it received a generally mixed response of 50% on Rotten Tomatoes.[30] USA Todays Robert Bianco awarded the film three stars out of four, saying High School Musical 2 was “sweet, smart, bursting with talent and energy, and awash in innocence”.[31] While critics enjoyed the film, they noted that the timing of the movie’s premiere seemed odd, premiering just when school was about to start up again, while the movie’s plot involved the gang going on summer vacation.[32] High School Musical 2 won the “So Hot Right Now” award at the Nickelodeon Australian Kids’ Choice Awards 2007, in which High School Musical castmate Zac Efron hosted with The Veronicas.

In 2007, Hudgens began work on her second studio album, partly due to the success of the High School Musical franchise. Her second studio album, Identified, was released on July 1, 2008. It sold 22,000 copies in its first week of release, 12,000 less than that of her previous effort.[33] Despite the drop in sales, the album debuted at number 23, one spot higher than V.[34] The album was preceded by one single, “Sneakernight“, which was her lowest performing single in the US to date. It was a success on the Hot Dance Club Songs chart in the US, where it peaked at number 8.[35] Following the commercial failure of the album, it was announced that Hudgens had parted ways with Hollywood Records. Hudgens went on to reprise her role as Gabriella in the 2008 sequel High School Musical 3: Senior Year, the first film from the franchise to be released theatrically. It opened at number one at the North American box office in October 2008, earning $42 million in its first weekend, which broke the record previously held by Mamma Mia! for the biggest opening by a musical.[36] The film finished with $252 million worldwide, which exceeded Disney’s expectations.[37]

 

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 11 – The Day Before Tomorrow – Part II

This baby doesn’t know what real darkness is. It has nothing to do with pigment, melanin or skin color. But I do.

“Anyway….No worries. Happy to help. What are we doing today?

“I want to do a spray and a UV session today! What do most people do?”

“Oh, the double dip today! I won’t recognize you tomorrow!”

“I’ll be dark! I wanna be dark!”

This baby doesn’t know what real darkness is. It has nothing to do with pigment, melanin or skin color. But I do.

Customers are coming and going and it’s getting busier. I just love that’s she’s hanging close to me at the counter. I go and clean beds on the in between, and I love walking back up to the front and she’s just there chatting with clients. They love her and compliment her on her gorgeous tan. She’s loving it and saying she’s pale.

Oh, the irony.

Clients ask about what lotion they should buy and she pipes up and recommends the Tahitian Bronze, because I let her try it one day. It’s the most expensive lotion in the house and she’s selling it to these pale ghosts.

“Yea, I used it and it got me really dark.”

These sheep are looking at this really pretty petite Asian girl with skin like delicious caramel and will do whatever the fuck she says. Kita is a natural and I make a mental note about this for the future.

I tell her normally that women go into the spray tanner and then follow it up with a stand up session to give them a little more and bake on the spray solution.

Kita has made it clear to me that she doesn’t like the stand up units because they have no face tanners. (600 watts of UV ‘A’ rays to brown the face and not burn it because the face is harder to tan than the rest of the body.)

We finally settle on Kita going to Room 2 for a lay down UV first and then to the spray tanning booth for a clear coat level 3. She’s afraid she’ll get too dark with the level 3 so at the last-minute she changes it to the level 2. (Probably a good decision but either way I’m sure she’ll look amazing)

“Can I get a robe?”

I love this. She’s going to UV tan in her favorite bed, number 2 and then wrap herself in one of our little blue robes and walk back to number 8 and jump into the Versaspa spray unit. Just the idea of lovely Kita standing before me in nothing but a little robe and completely naked underneath brings my blood to a boil. But I must refrain from any thoughts or feelings. I’m a professional here. I have three great yelp reviews using my name, and I have to keep my composure around clients even if I have a crush on them.

I’ll be fine.

I send her into room 2 and off she goes. I go about taking care of clients, cleaning beds and doing laundry.

In a little bit she comes out in her little robe. It has no belt on it so she clutches it to her lithe body as she shamelessly approaches me. She was all covered up when she arrived tonight but now I can see her shapely, tan legs. The experience is maddening because of the ironic circumstances. My mind flashes to her wrapped in that robe emerging from my bathroom and joining me for a night of passion in my bedroom.

But only for a second.

“I forget what I’m supposed to do in the spray booth, can you give me a refresher, Charles?”

“Of course. Let’s go to room eight.”

Here is this little doll that I absolutely adore and has gone from top five to my number one standing in front of me in a tiny robe. I tell her where to put the repelling lotion and run through the poses she must do while in the booth to get the best spray tan. I remind her about the hair net she has to wear and send her in.

“Do I need to call out to you Charles when I’m ready?”

My mind goes straight to the gutter.

“No. A green light will come on in the unit and when you’re ready you simply press it and then off you go. The lady’s voice will guide you through the four-minute process. Then all you have to do is stay dry for the next six hours and when you wake up tomorrow you’ll be Malibu Barbie.

“Okay! Thank you!”

“No worries, Kita. Just follow her directions and you’ll be fine!”

I walk back towards the front of the salon as she closes the door. I think of how spectacular she must look as she stands naked in that unit as the spray strikes her glistening fit body. I’m envious of the Versaspa in that moment that it gets to see the very thing I will never see. The heater in the machine will glow red and she will submit to the commands of the voice as she turns to display her nude vessel to the spray that will hopefully make her look the way she believes she should.

I think she’s perfect the ways he is, but she loves to tan, and this is a tanning salon. and I would never have met her if I wasn’t here.

I used to always complain early on in my dating journey on this blog that ‘the wallet never came out’ with all of these middle-aged women I tried dating in the beginning. But if this date happens tomorrow I will gladly shell out whatever’s necessary to feed this little flower and make the night special.

Because her youth, beauty, and sweetness are a gift to me. Just the fact that she hangs at the counter like a pup and listens intently to me to learn about life is satisfactory payment to me. The very notion that this 21-year-old girl will meet me for dinner at a nice restaurant is enough for me. I may even try to do a picture but that is a stretch. Her showing up and just being Kita is a win for my ego.

I thought about her. Phicklephilly loved her from afar and then ran her down and got her to hang out and confess to me her life, and now to go out with me on a date is spectacular. Just for the fact that I can dream something and bring it to fruition at my age.

I know it’s insane but if she said, I’m hung up on JR and I’m dating Steve but if you give me X amount I’ll be your sugarbaby… I would possibly buckle and take some money from my brokerage account and split her like a ripe melon.

But please…. settle down. Not happening. She trusts me. I’m honored by the fact that she trusts me enough to have dinner with me.  My black wings her neatly folded away and iI will be the gentleman I truly am.

 

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Tales of Rock – Esther Wong

Esther Wong (August 13, 1917 – August 14, 2005) was a Chinese-American restaurant owner and music promoter, called the “Godmother of Punk” in Los Angeles, California.

She was born in Shanghai, China, and emigrated to the U.S. in 1949.

After fierce initial resistance, she became a punk rock and new wave music promoter. She got started in the early 1970s as the owner of Madame Wong’s, a Los Angeles Chinatown restaurant with a floorshow—originally at 949 Sun Mun Way, located in the original 1938 Rice Bowl restaurant. Polynesian dance acts weren’t attracting customers, yet when Paul Greenstein, a Los Angeles “bum vivant,” first approached her husband George about booking bands, she declined. Greenstein’s persistence, and the fact that he had already given the nearby “Atomic Cafe” a new lease on life (cross-pollination between owners’ children worked the magic), caused her to agree to a trial run in Fall of 1978. Initially, under Greenstein, a showcase for unsigned, unbookable punk-bands, Madame Wong’s was one of few places such bands could perform. With the exit of Greenstein, Madame Wong’s morphed into a power-pop palace with bookings more influenced by a now-interested Wong. Notable bands that she showcased included a “who’s who” of rock music, including The Knack, The Police, The Motels, Fishbone, The Go-Go’s, X, The Alley Cats, The Bangs, Oingo Boingo, Naughty Sweeties, Los Illegals, Candy, Guns N’ Roses, Black Flag, No Mercy, Beowülf, Excel, Daniel Amos, Fear, Bad Actor, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Twisters, and The Ramones. Eventually this led to her nickname, the “Godmother of Punk.”

She closed the original “Madame Wong’s” after a fire in 1985[1] and “Madame Wong’s West”, 2900 Wilshire,[2] in Santa Monica, California in 1991.

The original “Madame Wong’s” unofficially reopened for a brief period in 2009/2010, when Ben Kramer, Stuart Friedel, and Rob Cudd, who were living in an apartment that now occupies the premises, hosted concerts in their living room, using the name Madame Wong’s in homage to the original venue. Acts that year included Devendra Banhart, Vampire Weekend’s secret 2009 Halloween show, The Answering Machine,[3] Wavves, Smith Westerns, Jounce, Pearl Harbor and the Explosions, Backbiter, Salvador Santana, The Growlers, Harlem, and others.[4]

Esther Wong died from emphysema and lung cancer on August 14, 2005 in Los Angeles, and was survived by her second husband, Harry Wong, two children, Frank Wong and Melinda Braun, six grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren.[5]

 

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23 Foolproof Relationship Tips and Advice for Men

Having a hard time pleasing your woman? Use these tips and relationship advice for men to communicate better and make her fall more in love with you.

If there’s one thing I know about men, it’s how competitive they are.

I’m sure you’d agree.

You want to be the best in everything there is, be it your games, your work or your love life.

And that’s one of the things I love about men and their attitude towards life.

But then again, there’s one other really bad trait of men too, and this one, I absolutely hate!

It’s a man’s attitude to give up when he feels helpless.

Now all men aren’t the same, and every circumstance is different.

But when it comes to love, these traits are highlighted beyond everything else.

[Read: The 15 manly traits of a real thoroughbred man]

Men and their attitude towards love

Now I can’t paint all men with the same brush, but this is a subliminal trait of men that crops up every now and then.

When a man’s happy in love and in a perfect relationship with a woman *the infatuation period*, the man goes all out to impress her and woo her.

But as the relationship blossoms and the woman tries to correct a few flaws of the man, or the couple have a few fights, the man starts to lose interest in the relationship.

It’s not that all guys give up on romance easily, but most guys are convinced that the false stereotype that women are naggers and men are slackers is completely true.

You may not realize this, but men and women aren’t that different really.

Both the sexes want the same things, the same special moments and the same happily ever after. [Read: 23 things girls really wish guys knew about a girl’s mind]

But their approach to love and romance is different.

You want to be the perfect man, don’t you?

Don’t you want to be the best man in the whole world for your woman?

Don’t you want her to feel lucky and special for having a guy who’s as awesome as you?

Don’t you want all girls to wish their man was as wonderful as you, and envy your girlfriend for snagging such a perfect catch? [Read: How to become the perfect man using a secret role model]

Impressing your woman and keeping her happy can be the easiest thing in the world if you’re willing to keep her interests in mind. To keep your sweetheart happy, you need to think of the 80-20 rule, that 80 percent of the problems are caused by just 20 percent of the issues.

By using the relationship advice given here, you can do more than just fix any romantic struggles in your life. You can actually turn out to be an example of how a perfect guy really should be! [Read: The 80 20 rule in relationships and how to use them]

Foolproof relationship advice for men

A perfect romance, as corny as it sounds, isn’t difficult to create or hold on to. It’s the little things that matter, and that’s all you need. Use these 23 relationship tips and advice and woo your woman, and make her fall more in love with you with each passing day!

#1 Communicate. As hard as it may seem to sit down and talk about feelings now and then, it’s better than living through a relationship with hidden resentments and confusions. [Read: The guide to effective communication in a relationship]

#2 Don’t take your woman for granted. Do you take your girlfriend or wife for granted in any manner? Remember, she’s not obligated to do something for you just because you feel that way. After all, homemaking is not an exclusive woman’s job, nor is taking care of you her only priority in life.

#3 Show your appreciation. You know you love your woman. You know she’s a very important part of your life. But why do you have a hard time telling her how you feel every now and then? Learn to appreciate your woman with sweet words now and then and her blush will definitely be worth the effort! [Read: 50 really cute things to say to your girl and make her blush]

#4 Surprise her often. You do remember how often you surprised your girl while you were wooing her, don’t you? Why don’t you surprise your sweetheart anymore? Is it because you believe she’s not special anymore or is it because you believe you don’t need to woo her anymore? Or have you taken her for granted already?!

#5 Don’t make decisions for her without asking her. This is something most guys do when they’re in a committed relationship. No matter how big your financial role is in the relationship, you need to remember that you don’t own your partner and you should never make decisions on your woman’s behalf without asking her opinion.

#6 Remember the younger ‘you’. It’s easy to take your woman’s considerate nature for granted, especially if she’s sweet and caring. Constantly remind yourself about how eager-to-please you were at the beginning of the relationship and keep that feeling alive. [Read: 15 subtle signs you’re a controlling boyfriend and don’t even know it!]

#7 Don’t disrespect your woman by staring at other women when she’s around. If you must stare at someone for any reason, talk about that person with your woman instead of trying to sneak glances. It’s way better than ogling at someone behind her back!

#8 Be honest. But don’t be brutally honest. We’re all rather sensitive when it comes to criticisms, so learning to sugarcoat your words is always a nicer way to say a bad thing.

#9 Indulge in romantic gestures. Just because you’ve won her over doesn’t mean you should stop wooing her. Do something special frequently *and do it because you like making your girl smile*. [Read: 25 sweet romantic gestures you can use every day]

#10 Have dreams and work towards it. Women love a man who has a dream and perseveres towards it.

#11 Be the best boyfriend around. Amongst your girlfriend’s group of friends, do you think you’re the best lover material? Do you treat your woman and her friends with respect? Don’t hold yourself back when it comes to expressing love in public or indulging in a bit of cute PDA now and then.

If you can win the best-boyfriend or best-husband poll amongst your woman’s friends, your woman will definitely think you’re a catch worth holding on to! [Read: 10 tips to be a perfectly happy couple that’s envied by all]

#12 Be the sex god. A successful relationship has two important traits, beautiful romance and sizzling sexual chemistry. If your relationship fails in even one of these two aspects, the relationship can start to go downhill. So work out, look your fittest best and bring out the sex god in you. [Read: How to make married or long term sex feel like a sexy one night stand all the time!]

#13 Give her your attention. If you’re in public with your woman, don’t give someone else more attention and importance than her *especially another attractive woman*.

#14 Communication. Guys and girls don’t always communicate the same way. Learn to listen to your girl’s point of view and think from her perspective before jumping to conclusions. The most successful of relationships and marriages are the ones where both partners learn to look at things from each other’s perspectives all the time. [Read: Top 20 reasons for divorce that most couples overlook]

#15 Those big dreams. Help your woman achieve her dreams without being threatened by her success. By giving space to each other and helping each other achieve your full potentials, both of you would feel more successful and satisfied in life, which would show in your happy relationship.

#16 Don’t give in to your addictions. Don’t ever make your woman feel like she’s second best, by putting your friends or your porn addiction before her needs. If that ever does happen, you seriously need to work your priorities out before you start to take some important things for granted. [Read: How to stop watching porn and avoid the addiction]

#17 Don’t walk away from an argument. Remember, the only reason why your partner confronts you is to clear any confusion and not to insult you. Fights in a relationship don’t happen to win points, it happens because one of you is hurting inside. [Read: 10 tips to fight fair and build a stronger relationship]

#18 Protect her. As a man, one of the manly traits you’re expected to have is dependability. Be there for your woman when she needs you and let her see that no matter what kind of trouble she’s facing, you’re always there to support her and help her through.

#19 If your relationship isn’t working, you have a part to play in the failure too. Instead of blaming your partner, make an effort to better the relationship. [Read: 12 subtle signs of a loveless unhappy relationship]

#20 Respect her. Chivalry is one of the traits that all gentlemen should know, especially if your intention is to treat women around you with respect. Displaying a chivalrous attitude is the perfect way to show your respect for the women in your life. [Read: The modern code of chivalry for perfect gentlemen]

#21 Create memories and cherish them. What is life but a collection of memories? And someday, many years from now, your memories are all that will remain to help you cherish your life. Create memories every now and then, be it snaps clicked with your cell phone, movie tickets, notes of love or even small homemade video clips of together moments.

It’ll help your lover see just how important each day together means to you, and at the same time, you’ll have a lot of warm memories to look back on, which will help both of you realize just how perfect your life together really is. [Read: 20 ways to make your girlfriend feel happy all the time]

#22 Don’t cheat on her. People don’t cheat all of a sudden. It just doesn’t happen *other than a few exceptions on rare occasions*. Almost always, the urge to cheat starts slow, with your first few white lies about flirty conversations with a sexy colleague and working-late excuses. And then, you end up distancing yourself from your woman because both of you feel like there’s nothing in common anymore.

So instead of ruining a perfect romance over a few silly secrets like flirty conversations, be frank about it. Flirting with someone else is such a sexual rush only because it’s taboo and something most couples don’t talk about with each other. [Read: Why flirting with someone isn’t cheating even if you’re in a relationship]

You’re human and of course, it’s natural to find someone else attractive on the street or at work. By talking about your flirty conversations with your lover, she’d understand you better and feel more secure because you’re being truthful. And most importantly, once the taboo doesn’t feel so much like taboo anymore, the excitement of wanting to cheat will go away too!

#23 Tell her you’re proud of her, and mean it! You may not realize just how special and important your woman is, until you lose her. Just look around you, and visualize your life without this woman standing by you. To a woman, there’s no greater feeling than being appreciated for all the things she does for you. [Read: The 10 traits that matter to be a perfect boyfriend]

So walk right up to her, give her a hug and a kiss, and tell her how proud of her you are, and how much she means to you. You’ll then understand the importance of these relationship tips and advice!

[Read: 10 romantic ways to say ‘I love you’ without saying a word!]

Don’t wait for things to get bad in love before you start using these tips and relationship advice. Be a man the way he should be, and treat your woman the way she deserves to be treated, with love, respect and affection.

 

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The Beach House – Chapter 10

I woke before Mia. I felt much better than I did when I crawled into bed. Mia was still there, and she had slept all night. I carefully pulled my tingling arm from under her neck. She smiled in her sleep, but the even breathing continued. I rose slowly, quietly donned some boxers, and left the room. What I needed was some coffee and space to think. Mia thought her secrets were going to come between us. She could have raped and murdered the pope for all I cared, but it was her thoughts that counted, not mine. The only way past this was to find out what her secrets were and prove to her that I didn’t give a shit. It was past eight so I grabbed my phone and headed outside out of earshot.

“Hi this is Dale Tomlinson. I would like to talk with whoever handles my account.” The receptionist sounded pleasant enough.

“No, I am sure Monica is fine. I just need to know who handles my account.” I guess letting Monica handle everything was a bit extreme.

“Then Bob Farring is who I need to speak with please.” This type of conversation used to piss me off. Today I empathized with the receptionist’s confusion.

“Hi Bob, this is Dale Tomlinson.” Finally I had the right person.

“No, Monica is just fine.” I guess Monica was pretty ingrained into my business.

“You guys use investigators, right?” Now we were moving in the right direction.

“Good! I want you to do a discreet background check on someone for me. Her name is Mia Perez, and I believe she lives somewhere in downtown Capersfield. I know she used to be an RN.” I waited for Bob to write it all down.

“No, not a whole life history. Just her current address, employment, what she’s done for the last few years, etc.” Her long past was probably cleaner than mine. I just needed the more current data.

“Bob, no one but you and the investigator will know about this. Bill it any way you want, but keep it private.” I wasn’t shocked by his next question.

“No, Monica doesn’t need to know about this either. Send me a text when you have what I need, and I will call when I can.” Bob was still a little surprised to deal with me directly.

“Thanks, Bob! You have a good day too.” I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to be pleasant. I went back in the house and started to make some coffee. I knew I had to keep this from Mia. I was betraying her trust and digging into what she wanted hidden. Love makes you do some really fucked-up things.

Mia followed the smell of the coffee into the kitchen. She was again wearing my robe. I was beginning to hate that robe. “Would you like a cup of coffee?” I asked as I sipped from my cup. She thought about it for a moment, then shook her head no.

“I don’t think I’m ready for java just yet. Maybe tomorrow.” She pulled up a stool and sat across the counter from me.

“You slept the whole night. Got to be a good sign.” I gave her a small smile. I was still a little nervous that I might have pushed the envelope too far last night.

“I do feel better.” She smiled back. “Do we have any cereal?” I almost jumped out of my skin. I didn’t think she even knew she used the word “we.” I started looking through the cabinets, trying not to look too ecstatic, not wanting a replay of last night.

“Here! I found Raisin Bran and Cinnamon Chex.” I felt like I had found gold.

“Oh, Chex please.” I went to the fridge, praying that Monica had stocked milk. I found 2%, well under the expiration date. I placed milk and Chex in front of Mia and fished out a bowl and spoon. Why had cereal suddenly become so exciting? Dr. Williams’s conversation came back to me, and I grabbed the vitamins from behind me and placed them in front of Mia.

“Doctor’s orders.” I think I sounded a little motherly. She just smiled and popped the cap and dumped one into her hand. It was the size of a VW. She frowned a bit.

“I’m going to need some water.” She rolled it around in her hand. I quickly retrieved a glass and filled it with water. It struck me that the last person I had ever served anything too was my Grandma. Here I was, grabbing items on command for Mia. I kept the revelation to myself as I watched Mia struggle to swallow the horse pill. She made a horrendous face.

“Do they dip those is shit before they bottle them?” She gagged a couple of times before she took another sip of the water. I laughed at her reaction, which I quickly realized was the wrong thing to do. She pushed the bottle toward me smiling.

“You need your vitamins too, Dale.” It was an obvious challenge. I had no intention of wimping out in front of Mia. I grabbed the bottle with bravado and spilled a pill into my hand. I tossed it to the back of my throat where it immediately got stuck. The flavor began to spread from the back of my tongue to the front. “Shit” was a kind description of the flavor. I guess my expression told the story because Mia burst into laughter. I grabbed her glass of water and drank with gusto. Anything to get that rancid flavor out of my mouth.

“That was horrible!” I exclaimed as Mia covered her mouth trying to hide more laughter. I loved her laughter. It brightened the whole room. I had to find a less disgusting way to generate more. “You have some breakfast. I’m going to clean up and shave so we can go shopping.” I walked around the counter and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. It felt good to share a bit of affection on a whim.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” She seemed a little concerned.

“Naw, never been a breakfast person.” I kept going toward the bathroom. It took about 20 minutes to clean up and locate some sweats that might not make Mia look like a complete fool. I had some T-shirts that had shrunk a while ago. I had no idea why I didn’t throw them away years ago. Good thing I didn’t. They might be the only things that would come close to fitting Mia.

My nose grabbed hold of pleasant scent. I was suddenly hungry, and I smiled my way back to the kitchen. Mia was stirring a pot of SpaghettiOs and heard me walking up behind her. “I have no idea why you and Adrian like this stuff.” I could feel her smile through the back of her head. I sat at the counter.

“It’s packed with memories. I grew up on the stuff.” I waited patiently why Mia filled a bowl and served me.

“Your mom make it for you too?” She leaned on her elbows as I ate the first spoonful. It was as good as ever.

“My grandmother raised me actually.” I smiled, remembering coming home from school with the same scent lofting through the air.

“Tell me about her.” Mia settled on a stool and waited for me to respond. I did. I told her about the most special woman I had ever known. I had never really talked to anyone about my Grandma. Mia listened intently to my words. I left out some of the reasons why I thought of my Grandma’s place as sanctuary. They seemed trivial now. It was so important a week ago, but today, right now, they were just history.

“Is that her on the wall?” Mia was pointing to the small picture hanging above the credenza in the hall.

“Yes, that’s her.” I felt proud pointing it out to someone. She was such a wonderful woman. Mia walked up to the picture and looked at it more closely. It pleased me that someone else would notice the picture.

“I love the butterfly broach she’s wearing.” Mia was touching it with her finger like it was real.

“It was her favorite.” I realized I kind of missed that broach. “Whenever she wore it, I knew she was happy. I think my Grandpa gave it to her.” I wondered where it was now. “I bet it’s in storage somewhere, Monica would know. She is the one who set up the hospice and the funeral and took care of everything.” I had forgotten about that. “That’s when I first met Monica.”

“Your Grandma must have loved you a lot.” Mia stated the obvious as she returned to the kitchen.

“And I her.” I added as I spooned another bit of heaven in my mouth. “It was hard when I lost her.” I didn’t know why I added the last part. I never really shared my feelings about her death with anyone.

“I hope our memories never die.” Mia was staring off into space.

“They never will as long as SpaghettiOs exist.” I smiled and took another spoonful. I could see that Mia liked that thought, stupid as it was. She reached out and caressed my cheek.

“I like the sound of that.” She smiled and started toward the bedroom. “I going to get cleaned up.” I finished my SpaghettiOs.

Mia returned wearing sweat pants obviously too big for her, cinched tight at the waist. She was wearing a pair of my flip flops, the only footwear that even came close to fitting. The T-shirt would never work. It was quite evident that she wasn’t wearing a bra. She went back and returned with two T-shirts on. That was much better. At least her nipples weren’t advertising. Mia thought my concern was silly, but she humored me with the additional shirt.

 

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