Cherie – Chapter 30 – Loving You Sunday Morning – Part 1

“At my age to have a woman who will destroy you in bed at least three times a night, and love you and be grateful is an amazing gift. So I will say to any of the men out there who are middle-aged… hang in there. Keep living and put your heart out there. Who gives a shit if it’s been broken several times. Don’t be bitter. That’s just you drinking the poison hoping somebody else dies. Total bullshit. Keep your heart open. Get the fuck up and try again. She’s out there. Somewhere. That special lady is out there and waiting to love the shit out of you. It happened to me and it can happen to you. Don’t be chained to your past. Let go of the bars of the cell you’ve been keeping yourself in and walk the fuck out.

She’s waiting.”

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Church gave me the motherload of booze last year and that’s when this happened and when I wrote it. I was out of my usual 1.75 of Sazerac’s Platinum 7 and reached for the bottle of Karlson’s Swedish vodka that he gave me. Apparently Swedish vodka is a great motivator and I cracked off this tome.

Can you imagine if you could conjure up the perfect girlfriend? She’s doesn’t live with you and isn’t around all of the time. But she’s a nymphomaniac and when you’re with her it’s always amazing.  A girl who is loving, giving, sexy, and an absolute she-cat in the bedroom. She always says she loves you more when you tell her you love her.

A wonderful girl.

I got a text from Achilles Saturday that he was going to be at the new salon doing some stone work with the mason. If I wanted to take Sunday off I could because he’d be there and could handle it himself. I love working Sunday’s because it’s slow and gives me something to do. I usually crack off a thousand words for the blog between 11am to 4pm when we close.

I told him that it would be fine and immediately texted Cherie. I ask her what she’s doing Sunday. She says she’s babysitting that day. I’ve worked every Sunday at the salon for a year. I explain to her why I’m off. She tells me it’s unfortunate and that she’ll try to figure something out but can’t promise me anything.

I’m fine with that. When I was in a relationship with Annabelle, (See: Annabelle – 2013 -2014 Nice to Meet You) Everything we did was fit in and around her schedule because she was so selfish.

That’s not ever been the case with lovely Cherie. She’s made every effort to see me whenever she can. She actually has a truly busy and complex schedule unlike Annabelle who just couldn’t manage her thoughts or her calendar. Cherie has REAL responsibilities and makes a real effort to spend time with me. She’s always loving, calm and consistent when it comes to our relationship.

I love her for it.

She texts me back Saturday night. She tells me she can come to Philly in the morning, for a few hours while her son and his cousins go to church with her parents.

Bingo!

Cherie says if she can make the 8:30 train, she can be at Suburban Station at 9:40am. She will have to be back on the 1:05pm train back home. That gives us roughly a little over 3 hours together.

Cherie is great. I get a day off and she works it out so she can travel 50 minutes each way to spend 3 hours with me. I couldn’t have invented a better woman than this wonderful lady.

I set my alarm to get up early. I just want some time to prep the room, tidy up and get a bite to eat. Because I know what’s going to happen between 10am and 12:30pm in this room. There’s no illusion to either of us what is needed here today. Probably more needed by me than Cherie. (But that’s debatable based on her usual hunger)

The next morning I get a text: “Good morning love. I’ll be at Suburban at 9:40.”

Goddess. My baby is on point.

My place is ready and so am I. Alright… I head up to Manhattan Bagels at 18th and Sansom in Rittenhouse and get a breakfast sandwich. It’s been chilly. I feel the wind bite my cheeks as I make the trek to 18th and JFK. It’s the closest point for me to enter Suburban and be underground for the longest time to escape the cold.

She always comes down on the same train but for some reason we have yet to meet in the same spot. For some reason I’m never at the stairs of the platform when she comes up. I know it’s partly my fault, and I should be better at this but it’s just a little thing that’s ours. The last part of her trip is underground so there’s no service. So there’s a gap in communication until she pops up from the platform to the station. She makes a move and says she’s up on the street in front of Walgreens at 17th and JFK and it’s cold. I tell her to come back down and get to her location and intercept my queen.

 

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Renegade – 1978 to 1979 – Chapter 1 – My First Band

I lived on Magee Street in Northeast Philadelphia back then. I was walking up my street on that fateful night back in 1978. I was 16 years old. I saw this other kid carrying a bass guitar. He was my height, blonde hair with glasses and peach fuzz all over the lower part of his face. He looked like a total nerd.

I went up to him and said: “Hey, I always see you passing by carrying that bass. Do you need a singer?” I think I genuinely startled the guy.

“Well, probably. Because our guitarist Jerry just quit. Well get him back and tell him you’ve got a singer.”

“I’m Chaz.”

“I’m Larry.”

I get his phone number and give him mine. I guess he had a pen on him and I think he wrote his number on a pack of matches I had in my pocket. That’s how it was done back in the 70’s before cell phones. Matchbooks and cocktail napkins. Then you would have to call a stranger’s house and his mom or another family would answer the phone.

So a few days later Larry brings Jerry over and we go down to my basement for an audition.

Jerry is a tall, lanky Italian guy who is probably a year older that me. But since he’s Italian I can see that he has to shave every day and already has hair on his chest. I’m as smooth as a peach.

I think Jerry just wanted someone fresh to jam with and wanted to check me out and see if I was a fit for he and Larry. I don’t think he really cared if I was much of a singer. I had spent a few years in choir in grade school, but beyond that it was zero experience.

I put the song Dream On, by Aerosmith and started to sing along. This was a vinyl record that belonged to my sister Janice that I was playing on my father’s record player. I loved Aerosmith back then.

So I sing the whole song, and I’m nervously waiting for a response.

Jerry: “Would your mom let us practice here?”

Me: “Right here in the basement?”

Jerry: “Well not right here, more like right over there.” (Pointing and ever the smartass)

“I’m sure that would be okay.” (Bold Faced Lie – No idea if that would be okay)

“We’ll tell Jack our drummer and we’ll come over Thursday with our gear.”

That night I asked my mother and she was cool with it. She said it would be fine to have the boys come over and play in the basement after school.

I was overjoyed! Not only was I going to be a singer in a rock band, (Dream coming true) We were going to be jamming in my basement. This could up my cool factor in the neighborhood, which had been very low for years.

Back in those days my dad worked at a bank down the shore. He lived in our Wildwood, NJ house during the week and would mostly come home on the weekends. It was my parents version of getting separated. They were always a united front as parents to us kids but they fought a lot. My dad was a good man, and a decent father to us but between his high anxiety and OCD he was pretty hard on my mom. He’s hard to get along with, let alone live with. So I was happy to have him out of the house all week. Life was so much more chill around the house. Peaceful.

One of the things my mother would let me do is put a small record player on the chair beside me at dinner. I would play these 45 rpm records and me and my sisters would all laugh and sing along with the songs. We didn’t do it every night but enough that I remember it. After dinner my mom would wash the dishes and I would dry them. I remember this as one of my fondest memories of my mother. Because it was just the two of us.

We’d have the radio on and be listening to WYSP or WMMR which back then were the only two rock stations on the radio. There was no such thing at satellite radio, YouTube, Pandora, Spotify or I tunes. Just your local rock and roll radio stations. She liked the Rolling Stones and even thought that David Bowie was a fine boy. I remember one album that could be found in every white suburban home was, Frampton Comes Alive. The big hit from that record was a song entitled, “Do You Feel Like We Do?” It got heavy rotation that year, and I remember explaining to my mom what a talkbox was.

This is a brilliant clip and I’d never seen it until I went looking for it to include in this piece. Please watch the whole thing (because it’s awesome!) but if you suck and you just want to see what a talkbox is, skip to the six minute mark.

 

 

The sound from the guitar goes up through the tube and into the musician’s mouth and the guitar sound and notes come out and he can form words with them. Cool as shit, and I totally wanted one at some point, but that quickly passed. How many times can you use that trick in your songs. Probably only one before you become known as the talkbox guy. It’s an effect, not a sound or style. But still way cool in the hands of the great Peter Frampton.

By the way, that clip is from a show that came on Saturday nights. It’s called “Burt Sugarman’s Midnight Special.” There was that and “Don Kirchner’s Rock Concert”, were the only places to see your favorite bands of the day play live on TV. This was many years before videos and MTV. But it was on late at night and normally I was asleep by then and rarely saw any of them. If you’d like, I recommend you YouTube these programs because they are truly time capsules of joy.

Those were good times in our lives. Everybody was healthy and happy for the most part. Dad would swing home most weekends and it was greatest hits with him. A little bit goes a long way and you know by Sunday night or Monday morning he’s back down the shore.

I was really looking forward to being part of a rock and roll band! I love rock and now I’m going to be able to MAKE rock!!!

 

 

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Cherie – Chapter 16 – Brief Repose

Cherie is off for winter break from school, so she has some flexibility. Not much, but a little. She was able to come downtown today to meet me for lunch. If my daughter Lorelei was working the lunch shift instead of dinner at her job today, lunch with Cherie would have been a completely different experience.

But I’m always happy to see my love. Cherie had an appointment in the morning. She texted me to say she was finished and available to meet. We met at 17th and Chestnut. It was raining today and I remembered my umbrella this morning, but forgot it when I left the office for lunch. So this time, instead of me sharing my umbrella with her like on our first date, she was sharing her purple one with me. I’m holding it over her head. She doesn’t seem to mind the rain as usual.

We arrive at Devil’s Alley. It’s a little after 11am, which is brilliant because the place is dead. The food at Devil’s is great, but the service has always been a little slow. It’s been that way for years. But… if you get there early it’s a whole different story. The place is dead.

The host gets off the phone and asks us where we want to sit. I say upstairs and up the steps we go. We get a nice quiet table in the back. Our server is on point with the specials, but we know what we want. We order the amazing dry rub wings to start. I think they’re the best in the city. She goes with the blue cheese burger and I get the pulled pork sliders. Mine comes with coleslaw and hers with fries. She likes slaw and I like fries, so we’ve got the perfect share plate.

It’s really nice to see her. She’s wearing her glasses today and she looks sexy smart. I tell her than I noticed she wore her contacts last time we were together. “That’s so I could see you!”  she says. I tell her that men are visual animals and it’s always better in bed when we can see our partner.

“I know, that’s why I woke you up at 6am last Saturday to fuck me again, so you could see me.” she says.

I just laugh as the waiter approaches. She loves to play with me like that. It only makes me want her more. But we’re in a restaurant, and our next intimate encounter is a week away.

We’re chatting about the holidays and life. She finally got a new phone from her dad for christmas. She loves it. I don’t know what she had before, but she didn’t like it. It seemed like it was always going dead. She whips out the iPhone 7 and it is brand new. My phone seems old in comparison. (As long as it works I don’t care what kind of phone I have) It’s lean and slim like her.

I’m happy to be having lunch with her. Just sitting across the table from her is wonderful. Looking into her eyes and holding her hand. She never wants anything. She didn’t even want anything for Christmas. I had a glorious Christmas with her, but the gifts we exchanged didn’t come from a store. She says she really doesn’t want things. She’s happy with what she has. If she wants something, she’ll work and save for it. I asked her if she and her son’s father ever exchanged gifts at Christmas. She said they did, but it was no big deal. She said that she would rather see him put the money for her gift towards something else for her son. That’s really sweet and selfless.

It’s a good week for me to spend time with her. Work is slow. The rain has stopped, so after lunch we head down to the store to get a case for her new phone. I can’t believe how expensive some of these cases are now. That’s a cottage industry unto itself. I saw cases that were over sixty dollars! For a hunk of plastic? That seems like a ripoff to me, but if you drop one of these new elegant phones on the pavement…

The sales girl who was helping us showed the strength of  the case on her phone. While talking to us, she literally tossed the phone like twenty feet away. It bounced against the front of the counter. She goes over and picks up the phone and it was fine. We were sold. I found it a brilliant sales tactic and I congratulate the girl.

Cherie picks out a winner and it’s the same make as mine. (Otter Box)

The rain has stopped. Cherie says she has to use the restroom. I know where every liquor store and clean bathroom is in Philly. “Follow me.” I take her to Sofitel. They have super clean and very private bathrooms. It’s the only place my buddy Church will go for an ‘away game!’ The Ritz Carlton has my other favorite bathrooms in the city. You gotta know stuff like this when you live in a city.

Cherie’s been working so many hours at her two hospital jobs, that I can see that she’s just tired. I think between finals at school, raising her son, and all the hours she works, it’s taking a toll on her. She says that she may have to leave the one job once school starts again, because it’s just too much. Sometime you have to choose between money and health. I really care about her and her well-being is far more important to me than anything else. She did really well in school this past semester, so she’s moving forward with her education.

She said she walked past a place called the Velvet Lily earlier today. I know the place and the owner. It’s a high-end sex shop down in Midtown Village. They sell all sorts of toys and what not. I tell her we’re too far to go back down there, because I have to be at the salon at 3pm and she has a 2:38 train to catch. But there’s a place on Walnut called The Passional that has stuff like that. I have never set foot in the place, but Cherie loves sex and I may get some ideas based on what she looks at in the store.

We go in, and it’s downstairs from a head shop called Wonderland. First thing I see is a bunch of silly bachelorette party crap. Which I find sort of obnoxious. Cherie isn’t interested in it either. I point out a wedge-shaped pillow that improves the angle of things during sex. “As if you don’t twist me and flip me around every which way enough?” She smiles. I laugh and move on. The store isn’t that good, and I wonder how they stay in business. Don’t most people buy all this stuff online now? I’m thinking about getting some things, and I can probably just go through Amazon.

It looks like Cherie is unenthused in regard to this store, so we leave. I think it’s cute that she always asks where we’re going because she doesn’t know her way around Philly. I always assure her where we are, and where we’re going, and when we’ll get to where we have to be. I don’t mind it at all. She makes so many decisions every day, that she likes relying on me to do all of that when we’re together.

We know it’s coming. The time when we’ll have to part. I take her into the BNY Mellon building to escape the damp chilly day. I know the whole Suburban Station network like the back of my hand. I can even tell you at any point where we are in relation to the street level when I’m down there. Like my father before me, I’m an explorer. My dad could always find ways to locate things and shortcuts to everywhere. That’s when having anxiety and OCD are a good thing. You’re always looking for and angle or an alternate escape route.

I take her to her train platform and we sit down on one of the red metal benches. I’m close to her. I take her hands in mine. The train is coming soon. I kiss her neck, and whisper to her:

“I miss you already.”

She whispers back. “We’ll be together soon.”

A slight breeze. It’s coming. A light appears down the track, and the train roars into the station. We rise and I walk her over to the door.

We kiss, and she’s gone.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Dating and Relationship Advice – The Most Popular Way to Meet a Significant Other Has Nothing to Do With Online Dating

 

Is it time to say so long to swiping?

While dating apps are as popular as ever, they might not be the best way to meet a potential romantic partner. That’s the takeaway from a recent survey, which found that only 8% of people polled said that they hooked up with their significant other via online dating or a dating app.

What was the most common way for couples to meet? Through mutual friends, according to the survey, which was conducted by market research company ReportLinker. An impressive 39% of respondents replied that they met their spouse this way—just like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

Meeting at work came in second place, with 15% of respondents answering that they met their significant other at the office. Next on the list was in a bar or public area (12%), through a sport/religion/hobby events (9%), family (7%), and school (6%). Just 1% of poll takers said that they met their beloved at a speed-dating event.

The poll results cast doubt on the prospect of finding lasting love online, and instead relying on friends (or your local pub) to help you find The One. When asked what they thought was the main drawback of online dating, 30% of single respondents said that potential love interests on sites and apps were “not serious” and 21% said “more lies.”

Still, singles continue to search for a significant other digitally. Respondents who said that they were currently dating online had a profile up on an average of 2.4 websites.

The results were based on replies from 501 singles and 551 coupled-up people in the U.S. Speaking of couples, the survey also found that 6% of the people who described themselves as having a spouse were still registered on a dating website or app.

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice – 7 Things Women Expect On A First Date

Landing yourself a first date is only the first step in securing a smooth transition into an eventful and exciting night. A first date is about an impression. A woman wants to feel that the man she’s with has not only thought about the date, but also prepared accordingly.

Let me help you decipher her unspoken expectations for the evening and what she wants you to do but would never actually say.

1- Go the extra mile… or two

If you greet her with a red rose and a smile you’re sure to get a warm response. But why not turn up the heat and offer her a less stereotypical treat? If you already know some details about this woman, use the information to your advantage. If her favorite color is purple, give her a purple flower. Otherwise, use your imagination.

If she’s the playful type, she might enjoy a bouquet of lollipops to sweeten the night. Or, if she’s of a more intellectual persuasion, perhaps offering her a copy of your favorite book might stack the odds in your favor. The key is creativity — she’ll be impressed if you’ve shown that you not only got her something, but that you thought about her while doing it.

2- Be polite, not pushy
She may not tell you that etiquette is a priority, but be sure that she’s keeping an eye on what you are, and perhaps more important, what you aren’t doing. It’s the little details that make the difference, like chewing with your mouth closed. Remember; nothing you have to say is either important or funny enough that it can’t be said after you swallow.

Do offer to open the door for her, but if she insists on doing it herself, be sure and let her. Another rule to remember: any stories that involve vomit or secretions of any sort (no matter how funny or appropriate you think they are) will generally be a complete turnoff to a woman.

3- Be complimentary
Many men forget to notice and compliment their date’s appearance. There must be something about her outfit, her hair or the way she smells that you like. You can rest assured that she’s spent a good portion of her time primping and preparing for this first date, and it’s important that you acknowledge her efforts.

Find out what you should do during dinner and how to leave her with a lasting impression…

4- Be curious about her
You’re nervous and trying to make sure that she thinks you’re better (and more original) than the last guy who showed up at her door with a red rose. The result can often be you talking about all the things you’ve accomplished while neglecting to ask her about her interests. Your intentions might be to keep the conversation flowing, but a monologue actually makes for a more uncomfortable evening than a few awkward pauses. So be sure to ask her about herself; just don’t turn it into an interview.

5- Be assertive, not aggressive
It’s important that you show her you’re confident. But, it’s also important not to blur the line between being assertive and aggressive while interacting with her, as well as those who might even prove to be allies on your first date. When dealing with your waiter, she’d prefer you be courteous than cantankerous. If what you order isn’t what you get, then by all means tell your waiter, but don’t raise your voice and demand it be taken back. A polite smile and a simple assertion that your order has been confused is the perfect time for you to show your willingness to forgive while your waiter tries to make it up to you (all the while making you look even better). Likewise, if the movie you both wanted to see is sold out, take it in good humor and most importantly…

6- Always have a backup plan
If the plans you made unravel at the last moment, relax. You can always rely on plan B to make the most of what might have been a wasted night. She’ll either be impressed by your on-the-spot creativity or glowing at the thought of you considering a “just in case” scenario for your date. It doesn’t have to be overly extravagant, just make sure you have some other ideas in the event the night doesn’t come together exactly as planned. From ice skating to salsa dancing to coffee drinking — any backup option is better than no option at all.

7- Leave her impressed

The evening seems to be coming to a close; time to pull that proverbial ace from up your sleeve. You want to leave her with a lasting impression about what a wonderful time she had and how lucky she was to spend it with you. Seeing her to her door will no doubt get you further than the front door. But give her the option to welcome you in by taking it one step at a time. Offering a polite end to a wonderful evening just leaves her wanting more and gives her the chance to assert herself if she’s craving more than a kiss at night’s end. Of course, if you’ve played your cards right, she’ll be wanting more than just this one date anyway…

Go get ’em

These seven effective steps are sure-fire ways to not only impress the woman you’re with, but also to exceed her expectations. Remember; being sincere and thoughtful each step of the way guarantees success. By taking care and control of the details, you will exude confidence and keep her craving more.

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice -Intelligent People Choose to Be Less Social – Here’s Why

Do you ever dream about being a hermit? Would you prefer to live in a countryside cabin, instead of a bustling city? Would you rather stick your nose in a book than throw your hands up in the air?

Do you hide when someone rings your doorbell unexpectedly?

If this sounds like you, I have good news. You’re not anti-social. In fact, you just might be a genius.

According To An NCBI Study, People Who Are Highly Intelligent Tend To Associate With Fewer People And Seek Out Social Interaction Less Frequently. Interestingly, Their Life Satisfaction Increases When They Choose To Live By This Strategy.

According to lead researchers Satoshi Kanazawa and Norman Li, for those seeking happiness, the “hermit in the woods” strategy might be the way to go – especially for people who are highly intelligent. Through thorough research, these evolutionary psychologists were able to determine that human beings are happier living in less densely populated areas. They also found that happiness increases when a greater percentage of our social interactions are with our most dearly loved ones, as opposed to strangers, casual friends, or acquaintances.

Unsurprisingly, the study’s participants reported a greater level of happiness when they had more frequent social interaction – except for one group. For the most highly intelligent of people, this effect was not only diminished, but was actively reversed.

In Fact, As The Researchers Explained, “More Intelligent Individuals Experience Lower Life Satisfaction With More Frequent Socialization With Friends.”

Carol Graham, who studies the economics of happiness, examined this effect in a Washington Post article. “The findings suggest (and it is no surprise) that those with more intelligence and the capacity to use it are less likely to spend so much time socializing because they are focused on some other longer term objective.”

In other words, that nerd who says they have better things to do than hanging out with friends is actually on to something.

In interpreting the results of this study, evolutionary psychologists found great significance in this dynamic in relation to the “Savannah Theory.” This theory proposes that we find happiness in the same things that would have made our ancestors happy. On the savannah, population density would have been low, and interpersonal interaction would have been incredibly important for survival.

This study’s results, although ultimately in support of this theory, suggest that the most highly intelligent of human beings may be evolving past the need for very frequent social interaction. Instead, they are beginning to favor activities which promote our advancement in the modern world – which tend to be more intellectually and economically based. We need interaction less than our ancestors did, so the most highly evolved human beings have ceased to prioritize it.

So, The Next Time You Opt To Stay Home Instead Of Hitting The Club, Don’t Feel Weird About It. Feel Smart. You Are An Evolutionary Groundbreaker.

 

Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject. I love communicating and having some interaction with quality people, but as I’ve gotten older I need it much less and prefer to work more.

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice – Here Are Some Great Reasons to Go on That Second Date! — Dear Sybersue: Dating Relationship Talk Show and Blog

 

Are you too picky that you sabotage your dating life?

via Here Are Some Great Reasons to Go on That Second Date! — Dear Sybersue: Dating Relationship Talk Show and Blog