Lovely Lauren – The Most Beautiful Bartender I’ve Ever Met – Part 1

Look at our Lauren. So pretty. A lovely queen.

Let’s go back to 2013. Let’s go back to a time when I worked for a start-up site. Let’s go back to a time when I really believed the words people told me were true. That there were investors and we would build the company I worked for.

We would build this company into an international brand and it all was all a lie.

It happens in business.

We decided to write some articles about some of our paying clients on our drinking publication. It’s a magazine to show you where to get happy hour and places to go drink.

People… we have YELP for fuck’s sake.

I did what I could for this publication. When I was hired I thought this was going to be a well-funded brand that was about to go national, but we never got the funding and in the end I was fired because they could no longer afford me.

I loved working there, but my goodness, guys.

We had a great client that I acquired. Stratus.

Amazing rooftop bar. Kimpton property. They were paying us every month and we went to see them about their new mobile bar options.

I asked the general manager if there was anything he wanted us to write about.

He said go in there.

He waved me away to the private room Vapor.

I walked to the room and entered.

 

And that’s when I met Lauren.

 

I laid eyes on Lauren and she was one of the prettiest girls I’d ever seen.

I mean… Lauren is absolutely gorgeous.

She’s pretty, fit, and so affable.

I think. This is it. The perfect interview and photo shoot with this lovely woman.

My boss is with me. This is a rare paying client. He’s taking photos. The pics are good. I hope I don’t look too old with this hot baby.

 

I write up a bunch of questions. I’ve never done an interview before. But I try to write an interesting conversation with a beautiful lady for our paying client.

 

Lauren comes to the office so I can interview her.

We’ve already taken so many hot pics of you. I appreciate you coming in to do the interview.

I’m so excited to meet her. This is the hottest bartender I’ve ever met.

Now she’s coming to the BNY Mellon Center to come to our trick/phony rented office at our little drinking publication. (Without investors, we’re doomed in this business model.)

Sweet Lauren shows up. She’s wearing a tank top and a pair a daisy dukes and its killing me.

Her legs are spectacular.

She was great in her photo shoot. Her forced shoot. Pimped out by her manager and us.

I feel bad for the first time at my job at the publication.

Sad thing is this work will never be published.

It’s a fun amazing interview with a smart, pretty girl. When I turned it in to management at the drinking publication, they told me they wouldn’t publish it because it wasn’t a match for the ideology of the site.

This breaks my heart. We have a paying client that asked us to write a piece for them and put it in our magazine.

I loved meeting Lauren and interviewing her, and I thought it would be a really great article that our readers would enjoy.

Something new and different with a pretty lady that would get people excited to go to Stratus at 5th and Chestnut and support our paying client.

But no. Our publisher turned it down. I think he liked it but that wife of his would have freaked out about us talking to hot women. I really believe that.

 

But…

I recently found the interview and all of the photos.

I want to honor lovely Lauren and publish it here.

So please enjoy meeting the prettiest and most charming bartender I know here on Phicklephilly.

Thank you Lauren, and I’m sorry about all that nonsense in the past.

Hopefully my followers will enjoy your story.

Tune in tomorrow for more…

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly

Advertisements

Kita – Chapter 32 – Locked and Loaded

“I’m sad about the loss of the nostalgic love I had with him. We’ve obviously grown apart.”

She comes into the salon and as always I’m delighted to see my little China doll.

I’m so fickle. I love so many women. Cherie’s my girlfriend, but I hardly see her due to our schedules. I want to stay with her and I like this arrangement. I’m sure she’s not happy about it, but I like the idea of having a girlfriend that isn’t around much. It just works great for me. Just ‘greatest hits’ and gone. Then back again for more a month later. It’s always glorious to be with Cherie, but I love my freedom to work and be with my friends and my alone time.

I have another gift for Kita. But she starts the conversation first.

“I texted JR.”

I look away and grimace.

“No wait. Let me tell you what happened, Charles.”

“I’m listening.”

“I just asked him how he was doing and he got combative right away. I was like, how are you? and he said, ‘can’t you see on Instagram?’ I don’t follow him on any social media.”

“That’s good. You shouldn’t. Don’t look at that stuff, it’ll make you crazy.”

“So my friend who didn’t know we were broken up asked me why JR is posting all these pictures with some girl that’s not me. I told her we had split and she said the girl isn’t so hot, and it’s his loss.”

“Obviously. You’re beautiful, kind and sweet, Kita. He’s a manipulative idiot that squandered the best person in his life.”

“Thank you, Charles. So he said he moved on because I took up with Steve and that forced him to move on. It really made me mad because I only started talking to Steve because JR was doing what he did for all of last year.” (See her record in my previous post about Kita)

“Exactly. He’s trying to turn it around like you left him and took up with someone from his crappy neighborhood, and he’s butt hurt about it now that he can no longer control you. He abandoned you, Kita. He’s an asshole.”

“Yea, I was just trying to do the adult thing and be civil to him and maybe get some closure, and he started in on me trying to make me feel guilty when that simply isn’t the case. He’s a punk and I’m done with him. Steve was my rebound and I’m done with him too, but I’m not going to talk to JR anymore. The way he behaved on the phone shows me who he really is and even though I’m sad about the loss of the nostalgic love I had with him, we’ve obviously grown apart.”

“You’re correct in your thinking, Kita. You’ve grown out of his juvenile controlling, insecure behavior. He’s a child. You said yourself, you hate boys. I know they suck, but it gets better. TIME takes care of everything. I promise. I’ve been through a lot. Pain and heartbreak is a natural process we all have to go through at some point and it’s how we learn to cope with loss.”

“You’re right. Thank you. Do you have any snacks?”

I go and get my stash. and hand her the box full of cereal bars.

“Mmm… Oatmeal raisin!” She says as she happily bites into the bar.

I love feeding her and taking care of her.

“I have something for you.”

Her lovely eyes light up. “Ooh… what is it?”

I hand her this:

“Ohhh! Awesome! Thank you! My mom is going to be so happy when I tell her you gave me this!”

As she’s reading the instruction on the back of the package, I smile and my mind drifts to an imaginary conversation with her father the Admiral.

“Kita, I don’t know how comfortable I am with my 21 year old daughter hanging around with some middle aged man from a tanning salon. You’re going out to dinner with him and spending an exorbitant amount of time with this man.”

“He’s a dad with a daughter my age who has lived him since she was 18. He gave me this last week. (Shows dad the pepper spray) That’s the first thing he gave his daughter when she came to live in Philly.”

“Approved. Spend all the time you want with him. He sounds like my kinda guy.”

My active and creative mind also cruises into another fantasy sequence…

“Kita. I love you and have strong feelings for you. You know that. The more time you spend with me the more my feelings will grow for you. I know you’re a young woman of great virtue and want to retain your maidenhood. But one day you’ll be skipping through the woods bringing a picnic basket full of goodies to your grandma. I’ll emerge from the darkness and reveal to you the wolf I truly am. (I hand Kita the pepper spray) This… is for that day.”

Funny, right? I’m the one Kita needs to worry about. But all kidding aside. I never operate like that. If she comes to me… When she comes to me, she will do so willingly and yield to me. That’s how it always is in my life. I never take. It’s always handed over to me in mutual celebration.

I dream of that day. I think of her asleep in my arms. I smell her hair as I’m nestled behind her like a spoon. My mind recalling the night before of passionate, searing lovemaking the like she’s never felt.

Back to reality…

“Here let me show you how it works, dear.”

I show her how to hook the unit to her key chain. I hold her dainty hand in mine and guide it to the quick release button to separate the pepper spray unit from the key chain. I then show her how to hold it and how to simply slide the safety to the right to engage the unit.

She’s holding it.

“It’s now armed, Kita. Press down on the trigger and fire it in a horizontal, back and forth motion across the assailants eyes. It will immobilize your attacker and give you time to get away quickly and call 911.”

She presses down on the trigger and the unit shoots a tight stream of the police grade pepper spray 10 feet away at the wall.

“Ooohh! Wow! That really works! Thank you, Charles! I got it. I’m ready!”

“Keep that with you at all times, Kita. You’re only five feet tall. You’re small and someone may think they can take you. You hit them across the eyes with that, and they will be temporarily blinded with searing pain in their eyes and it’ll give you time to get away. I care about you and don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“You’re so amazing, Charles. I’m so glad I met you.”

She grabs me and hugs me. Kissing my face and lips.

I love this. (And hope she never has to use it on me…

Kidding! It’ll be the last thing on her mind if…. WHEN she comes to me.)

We’re making progress…

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly        twitter: @phicklephilly

Tales of Rock – 6 Musicians Who Predicted Their Own Death in Song

Everybody dies. That’s no secret. Even you, you’re going to die some day. Accept it. Once you accept it, write a bizarrely specific song that details how exactly you’re going to die, live up to your prediction and voila! You’ll be an entry in a Cracked article, just like these guys.

 

6

Richie Rich feat. Tupac – “Niggas Done Changed”

Let’s just get it out of the way: Nobody knows who the hell Richie Rich is. According to the lyrics of this song, he’s got a hand full of game. For all we know, that is still true. Maybe even a sack full of game by now. We don’t care. The real star of this tune, featured on the Seasoned Veteranalbum, is Tupac Shakur. His verse on “Niggas Done Changed” is the stuff that conspiracy theories are made of.

This probably isn’t the right one.

Unfortunate Lyrics:

“I been shot and murdered, can tell you how it happened word for word, But best believe niggas gon’ get what they deserve.”

What Happened Next:

Pac was shot and murdered, just like he said. The shooting happened on the strip in Vegas after a Mike Tyson fight. Obviously, at a time like that not many people were around, so nobody saw the shooter and the case remains unsolved. Unsolved for most people anyway. Some others are convinced they know exactly what happened. Tupac faked his own death! The logic went as follows: Since Italian philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli advocated faking one’s own death, and Tupac used Makaveli as a stage name, then he must still be alive. That’s shaky reasoning, even before you take into account that the real Machiavelli didn’t actually say much of anything about faking your own death.

If he was dead, could he do this?

But when “Niggas Done Changed” was released less than two months following Tupac’s death, the “Pac’s Still Alive” movement was off and running, and it hasn’t let up since. Group psychology experts contacted by Cracked attribute the movement’s seeming refusal to die (sorry) to the fact that Tupac Shakur has released at least seventy-three studio albums since his death and also to the fact that he’s totally alive, y’all.

 

5

Lynyrd Skynyrd – “That Smell”

Have you ever put a curse on somebody? Like if you came home and found that your roommate ate your leftover Chinese food and you got pissed and told them you hoped it gave them explosive diarrhea and then it actually did and you felt really bad because you didn’t realize your own powers? Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “That Smell” is kind of like that. Except substitute “diarrhea” with “horrible plane crash” (although with a title like “That Smell” it totally could have gone either way).

The song was written to express lead singer Ronnie Van Zant’s disappointment with the lifestyle lead and rhythm guitarist Gary Rossington was leading, as his drug and alcohol problems had started to negatively affect the band. After a verse poking fun at a recent alcohol-fueled car accident Rossington had, Van Zant starts pouring on the ominous.

Unfortunate Lyrics:

“Say you’ll be alright come tomorrow, but tomorrow might not be here for you.” “Angel of darkness upon you.” “The smell of death surrounds you.”

What Happened Next:

On October 20, 1977, just three days after the release of the now unfortunately titled Street Survivors, the plane Lynyrd Skynyrd was traveling in crashed in a forest near Gillsburg, Mississippi. The line “the smell of death surrounds you” took on a whole new ugly meaning after Rossington survived but three bandmates, including Van Zant, perished. As if the song and the album title weren’t enough, thanks to the plane crash, Street Survivors now had, quite possibly, the most inappropriate album cover ever.

Yes, that’s the band and, yes, they are on fire. In the wake of the plane crash, original copies of the album were recalled and replaced with a cover image of the band standing against the completely non-depressing black background. Of course, the fire cover was restored for the deluxe CD reissue of the album in 2008. Like almost every other crime, there is a statute of limitations on bad taste. Apparently, it’s 30 years.

 

4

Jeff Buckley – “Dream Brother”

Jeff Buckley’s “Dream Brother” is said to have been written about a friend who was about to leave his girlfriend and child. In the song, he warns of the sadness to be had by following in the footsteps of Buckley’s father, Tim Buckley. The elder Buckley was a promising young musician who had his career cut short by an accidental heroin overdose. He also walked out on Jeff and his mother shortly after Jeff was born. It’s that last part Buckley is singing about, but he probably should have considered penning a few lines to himself regarding the “musician gone too soon” part. Or, did he?

Unfortunate Lyrics:

“The dark angel he is shuffling in.” “Don’t be like the one who left behind his name.” “Asleep in the sand with the ocean washing over.”

What Happened Next:

We’ve never given relationship advice to a friend that involved any mention of a “dark angel shuffling in,” so we’re not sure how that first line would apply to a dude leaving his girlfriend, though we will concede that the second one fits. But the third? “Asleep in the sand with the ocean washing over,” well, that’s just pretty fucking creepy. Less than three years after the release of “Dream Brother” Buckley died. By drowning. This leads us to an obvious question: “Hey, Jeff Buckley, how about taking your own advice?” We’re guessing the reply would be something like, “Hey, leave me alone you assholes, I’m dead.”

3

Hank Williams – “I’ll Never Get Out of this World Alive”

Immediately, there’s nothing too shocking or particularly insightful about the title of this song. It’s obvious that everyone is going to die at some point. Most of those people, however, won’t crank out a comical tune about it right before they go. Released in 1952, “I’ll Never Get Out Of This World Alive” was the last single Hank Williams released in his lifetime. The lyrics are your standard down-on-your-luck type of stuff. Troublesome, sure, but nothing life threatening going on. But still, there’s that chorus…

Unfortunate Lyrics:

“No matter how I struggle and strive. I’ll never get out of this world alive.”

What Happened Next:

After reportedly struggling and striving, Hank Williams barely made it out of the rest of the year alive. On the morning of January 1st, 1953, just months after the song was released, he was pronounced dead at the Oak Hill Hospital emergency room.

“Doctor, hurry, he’s struggling. And striving! Oh no…”

There is a myth that the song was actually #1 on the Billboard charts at the time of his death, but “I’ll Never Get Out Of This World Alive” actually didn’t reach the top spot until shortly afterhis death. Today, Hank Williams is hailed as an innovator in the field of record promotion for being the first to employ the “Die Young and Sell a Ton of Records” technique.

 

2

John Lennon – “Borrowed Time”

You may not know this, but most posthumously released songs are indeed recorded before the artist dies. Although “Borrowed Time” wasn’t released until four years after the death of John Lennon, it was actually the first song he recorded following a five year exile from the music business. The unnervingly upbeat tune wraps lyrics about the frailty of life around the type of instrumentation you would expect to hear during dinner on a Carnival cruise ship. It was inspired by a Final Destination-like escape from death Lennon pulled off while sailing to Bermuda through an intense storm. An experience like that would probably just inspire us to shit our pants and stop showering. Lennon, on the other hand, was inspired to start rocking again.

Unfortunate Lyrics:

“Living on borrowed time, without a thought for tomorrow”

What Happened Next:

John Lennon was sometimes criticized for not practicing what he preached. Like how he sang about imaging no possessions but lived in a million dollar apartment. You could argue that he totally lived up to the lyrics of “Borrowed Time,” but you’d be a fucking prick for doing so. We only mention that criticism because it was Mark David Chapman’s main beef with John Lennon.

Speaking of beef, holy shit, right? Mooo, right?

Chapman delicately handled this beef by shooting Lennon to death, about six months after the song was written. Hopefully, Lennon practiced what he preached this time and genuinely didn’thave a “thought for tomorrow,” because, unless that thought was “be dead,” he was guaranteed to be pretty disappointed.

 

1

Jimi Hendrix – “The Ballad of Jimi”

In 1965, before most people even knew who he was, Jimi Hendrix entered a New York recording studio and probably weirded out everybody in the room by cutting a new tune about how some dude named Jimi was going to be dead in five years. “The Ballad of Jimi” starts with a declaration from Hendrix that the song is dedicated to the memory of his best friend. That the friend’s name is a guitar player named Jimi is apparently to be chalked up to coincidence.

Hendrix further confuses matters with the line “that is my story” before ratcheting the creepiness up considerably.

Unfortunate Lyrics:

“Many things he would try, For he knew soon he’d die.” “Now Jimi’s gone, he’s not alone. His memory still lives on.” “Five years, this he said. He’s not gone, he’s just dead.”

What Happened Next:

“I’m gonna go over there and die, now.”

Next, Jimi Hendrix suffocated in the most horrible way imaginable that doesn’t involve cock. He choked on his own vomit. Conveniently, for the purpose of this article, he died almost exactly five years after recording “The Ballad of Jimi.” “Five years, this he said. He’s not gone, he’s just dead.”

Disturbing as all fuck, isn’t it? Probably the only reason he didn’t get more specific than that was that nothing rhymes with “choked on vomit.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly    twitter: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly

The 10 Types Of Men That Women Hate

Women have different opinions when it comes to the best types of men, but they are practically the same when it comes to which types they do not like, some men have an incredible facility to cause repulsion in women and it is important to know which 10 types of men less attractive to them and find out if you are in that category.

1- Men who think the soap opera: Women like handsome men but hate the thugs of the soap opera of the eight, if you have been graced by nature do not need to remind them of it all the time, you have the right to find yourself beautiful and have self-esteem but do it subtly and let your beauty be just one of your qualities.

2- Men who prioritize work: Women like ambitious men who want to rise in life, but hate the type who only thinks about projects, meetings and qualification courses, work is very important in a man’s life and you need it to achieve his goals, but never consider him more important than his wife.

3- Men without initiative: They like men with attitude and do not wait for things to happen, it is you who should guide the woman and not the opposite, give her options of places to have fun and when you reach a restaurant have the initiative to find an empty table or call the waiter, never expect the woman to do it.

4- Men without money: You do not have to be rich, but you will never get beautiful women completely broken, you need money to take you in fun places, pay the motel and restaurant, even women with stable financial condition do not like to split the account, when that happens she feels undervalued, so if your salary is short, put your bills up to date and multiply your creativity to find fun places and you do not have to spend a lot of money.

5- Men who talk about previous relationships: They hate the cheap conqueror type and tell their intimacies with other women, so do not talk about ex-girlfriends, they abhor this, if you’ve seduced thousands of women do not worry about telling them why surely she will discover this alone.

6- Mountain Men of Muscles: They are attracted to strong men and not to mountain of muscles, women love to know that you knit hard in the gym, but be careful not to overdo it and look like the Incredible Hulk.

7- Bully Men: Treat the waiter badly, argue in the traffic and face someone who looked at it are unforgivable attitudes, no woman likes to be on the side of a bully man where anything can happen.

8- Stupid men: For extinct men are accustomed to look at any pair of breasts or thighs that are on display, but when you are with a woman on the side know to control, a simple glance can be expensive and cause you to miss a night which could be a lot of fun.

9- Controlling men: Every day is less the number of women who like and find interesting the type of bossy and controlling man, do not like to know that being a partner is interested in exercising power over them, women value freedom and want to be side of someone who cares about her and not the size of her dress.

10- Rude Men: Education, gentleness and seduction are words that match, so learn to treat women well because their biggest complaint is that it’s hard to find polite and kind men.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly

Celebrity Sightings – Jacqueline London

I’ve known Jackie for a few years now. She’s  lovely woman and just as nice as she is beautiful.

Emmy-winning journalist Jacqueline London joined NBC10 in March of 2013. She can currently be seen co-anchoring NBC10 News at 5 PM and 11 PM weekdays.

Prior to joining NBC10, London was with WKMG in Orlando, Florida, where she spent 10 years as an anchor and reporter. While there she was named ‘Best News Anchor’ by The Orlando Business Journal. She also earned two Suncoast Emmys while at WKMG, one for the program “Primetime London” which she wrote, produced and hosted.

With over 15 years of experience in broadcasting, London is known for her exclusive one-on-one interviews, from local newsmakers and celebrities to President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama. In late 2013, she interviewed Jimmy Fallon as he prepared for his new role as host of The Tonight Show, NBC’s iconic late-night program.

London got her start at ABC affiliate WQAD in Moline, Ill. During her two years there, she anchored the station’s weekend morning news and reported for the afternoon and evening newscasts.

Active in the community, London is involved in women’s issues and other causes close to her heart. She actively works to raise awareness for heart disease and diabetes. Since moving to Philadelphia she has emceed the American Diabetes Association’s Step Out: Walk to Stop Diabetes, Philadelphia’s 2013 Heart Walk, and the 2014 Annual Heart Ball.

London earned a B.A. in journalism & mass communication from The University of Iowa. A native of Chicago, she currently resides in Philadelphia and enjoys exploring her new hometown.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly      Facebook: phicklephilly   Twitter: @phicklephilly

 

18 Essential Pieces Of Dating Advice For Men

Have you ever noticed that there are too many pick up guides and not enough real dating manuals? Well, this overview changes that for men by providing essential tips and advice for successful relationships.

If you think about it, dating is the fun part of a relationship.

As such, men tend to focus on the early stages too much.

To help you get over that hurdle, I’ve put together 18 pieces of essential dating advice for men.

From online dating to rejection, here’s what every man should know:

1. Women don’t want a good guy, they genuinely want a GREAT man.

2. Stop chasing women all the time. Instead of becoming an interesting man women can actually connect with, you will end up sacrificing parts of your life. Your time is valuable, don’t waste it on things you can’t always obtain.

3. Be yourself. A confident man has nothing to prove. An arrogant man believes he must prove everything in order to support his confidence.

4. Don’t compete for women. Have an abundant mentality. Be yourself and you’ll know if women feel or don’t feel chemistry/attraction towards you. Respect her even if she doesn’t; you can go talk to another woman at anytime.

5. Confidence is a lifelong gift, any man can learn to achieve it.

6. Communication is magic. Observe the actions of others around you. Listen, ask deep questions. Stay present in the moment. Relax when speaking to women, slow down!

7. Create an amazing lifestyle if you want to attract amazing women. Consider your work environment. Participate in things you love. Be open to new experiences. Embrace every moment, don’t just be a part of it.

8. Use the law of attraction to your advantage. In other words, learn how to genuinely enjoy every day of life and every single moment. Women tend to naturally gravitate towards two things: Popularity and positively. Make women curious about speaking with you.

9. Online dating is easier than you think. Create an emotional response, so they are compelled to write you back. Paint them a picture. Don’t be a sleazy salesperson and sell them false dreams, you’ll eventually have to live up to them.

10. Use the power of voice tone and eye contact to charm her. Remember that there is never the “right” thing to say.

11. Understand that women are not your possessions. No man ever owns his woman.

12. Don’t live so much in the moment. You’ll forget too much and miss every single opportunity succumbing to constant fear.

13. Don’t shuffle around like you’re walking on eggshells. Pay attention to your body posture. Make it a habit to approach women quickly without pacing back and forth about it.

14. When you have something important to say, call her. Don’t text or email. The key here is make it known that she is an important part of your life.

15. Be casual about rejection. Flirt, talk and then try your luck. If she rejects you don’t make it so obvious by hanging your head down and looking all blue. Other women will see your desperation. When that happens, don’t be surprised if five women in a row all reject you.

16. Never celebrate after scoring her number. Cut the high-fives and nonsense out with your friends. Women will watch for your reaction. By not showing how you feel inside, you’ll appear in control and collected.

17. Understand that rejection is simply a made-up emotion, in reality is doesn’t even exist. You have absolutely nothing to worry about!

18. Put your immediate goals aside when trying to attract women. What I mean by that is don’t approach with only the task of getting her phone number. The key here is to avoid looking desperate, because your mind will literally be so focused on getting that number. Make her believe that you are someone she must spend time getting to know. Not the other way around!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                    Facebook: phicklephilly

California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Chapter 15 – Madam Wong’s West – The Yamamato Sisters

“Frank, this is Jill and Vickie. They’re sisters. They’re going to hang with us.”

Frank and I decide to go check out Madam Wong’s West over on Wilshire Blvd. It’s a famous rock and roll place that originated in Chinatown, (See: Tales of Rock – Esther Wong) But the place we’re going is her other location in Santa Monica. It’s within walking distance from our shitty apartment. The goal is to check out the local rock scene and try to talk to some girls.

We are drinking 102 beer at the apartment getting our pre-game on. (it was called 102 because it took them 102 times to get it right. They didn’t, because it was $2.99 for a 6 pack of 16 oz beers!) We didn’t have a name for it back then we just drank before we went out so we wouldn’t spend so much money when we went out. All this accomplished was getting us thoroughly plowed before we walked out the door and then we would just drink more. So it’s a bad idea that we did over and over again. I’m sure we did it for years after that but, youth… live and learn.

I remember that night very clearly. I was drinking a beer in the shower while I was getting ready. I had my boom box on. We had a red light bulb in our bathroom and it was cool. I was listening to “I don’t need no doctor” by Humble Pie. It was amazing.

We get all dressed up and head out, buzzed and ready to see the night in L.A.

We get to Madam Wong’s and realize that although I’m legal to drink in New Jersey at age 18, the drinking age is 21 in California. So I’m fucked.

I get an underage stamp but Frank gets a 21 stamp. Well this sucks. Fucking state laws. I’m pissed but we’ll make it work. We’re a crafty lot.

We go in and head upstairs. It’s got bands downstairs and upstairs.  I love that it’s two floors of rock. We don’t have anything like this back in Jersey. It’s like a giant house of rock. I loved it instantly and wanted to play there.

We find a cool round booth upstairs and take a seat. Some band is playing onstage and they suck. On the table there is a card that says “Two Drink Minimum” and I tell Frank to drop out jackets and go get some beers and I secure that table.

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to go downstairs and procure us a couple of women to join us at our table. So go get four beers. ”

“No fuckin’ way.”

“Way.”

“Okay. Well then have at it Chaz.”

Frank doesn’t know my mad game from picking up babes in Wildwood,NJ for years.

We’ve got our booth and Frank is getting our beers and I head downstairs to hunt. I have no idea what I’m doing and I have very little knowledge of women in L.A are like but at this point I’ve had a few beers and my courage is alive and well in me due to the alcohol.

I’m wandering downstairs and I come across a pair of pretty Asian girls. I’ve never met an Asian girl before. I literally walk up to them and ask them the following:

“My friend and I have a table upstairs. Would you like to join us?”

They say an immediate yes and I take the older girl’s hand and head upstairs. I lead them to the table and Frank’s eyes are like saucers. I can tell my comrade is pleased with my kill. He’s more than pleased. He’s amazed at my prowess.

I was really cute back then and I’ve always been charming.

“Frank, this is Jill and Vickie. They’re sisters. They’re going to hang with us.”

Frank is speechless. I see the joy in his eyes. He can’t believe I pulled this off. He has no idea that this is just the beginning of our California odyssey.

We enjoyed the night with these pretty sisters and got their numbers. We wanted to see them again and go on dates with them. That’s what people did back then. We went on dates with girls. Took them to the movies and record stores and lunch and dinner spots.

Frank and I had no money but if we had a couple of little girlfriends we were going to treat them right. It’s all we knew. I’m from Philly and everybody hates me and I have little history of dating. Frank was in the junior wing of the IRA in Belfast and also has little experience with girls. We just met a really cute pair of Asian sisters. They have our full attention!

We kissed them goodnight and even took some pictures.

We want to see these girls again!

… And we will.

Oh yes… We will.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                 Facebook: phicklephilly